I could not believe my luck
To finally find a friend.
We could have taken on the world together,
I never wanted it to end.

Something had to come along and change it.
I know where we went wrong.
We both wanted to be in the same band,
But we both wrote differents songs.

We broke apart like clashing comets
Falling from out of the sky.
I guess inside I always knew
That I could never be your guy.

It wasn't that I lacked self-confidence.
It was not even that I felt shame.
We understood what the other meant.
But, the thing we wanted was the same.

I would have bet my heart on you.
But I could never live a lie.
For a while there, life was a party,
How the time flew by!

You drifted back into my world,
I was drifting far from mind.
About the time I was fragmenting,
Saturn was about to unwind.

Like a stone, I catapulted into the world.
I ricocheted liked a silver ball.
I was making up for lost time.
I would rise, then I would fall.

The colors melded hotly
As I did crash and burn.
The cynicism came with ease,
With every lesson I did learn.

I settled into my routine.
I cooled as I slowed down.
I looked you up to say hello,
And I miss having you around.

I cannot believe my luck.
That you still are my friend.
Sing your songs and tell me stories,
Like you did way back when.

"You are my friend.
Please do me a favor.
Give Bobby this phone number.
Don't tell him I told you to.
Maybe he'll call before Dr. Mendrokis and his wife get home.
The children are sleeping in their beds.
I don't really care for being alone.
Tell Bobby to call me on the Doctor's phone."

Jill tries to study but it's quiet tonight.
The telephone rings to her delight.
It must be Bobby.

"Hello"

There is a silence, but she can tell someone is on the line.

"Bobby?"

Nobody answers so she hangs up the phone.
Jill Johnson doesn't like
To be alone.

The clock ticks on.
She hears a racket in the kitchen.
It's the ice-maker in the freezer.
She takes a fudgesicle out of the pack,
As she wonders if Bobby will try to call back.

The phone rings.
Jill says,"Hello, Bobby? What do you know?"

"Have you checked the children?"

Jill hangs up the phone.

At the weather, Jill fixes a drink.
They won't notice a little missing brandy, she thinks.
That call was scary.
His voice was dark.
Maybe it was Bobby
Who was just pretending.
Maybe she doesn't like him much, anyway.
He's kind of a ****.

The phone rings again.

"Have you checked the children?"

"This isn't funny, Bobby. Don't call back, anymore."

"Why haven't you checked the children?"

Jill slams down the receiver in a panic.
She dials the police on the rotary as fast as she can.
She's terrified and alone.

The policeman tells her,
If the man calls back,
The call will be traced
If she keeps him on the line.

She sits on the stool by the stairs.
She silently waits.
She's scared.

The phone rings.

"H-Hello..."

"It's me."

"I know."

"Why haven't you checked the children?"

"You, You can see me?"

"Yes."

"I turned the lights down.
I''ll turn them back up if you'd like."

"No."

"You really scared me before,
If that's what you wanted.
Is that what you wanted?"

"No."

"What did you want?"

"Your blood...all over me."

Jill hangs up the the phone,
It rings again.
She answers the phone and screams,
"Leave me alone!"

The policeman then says,
"Your life is in danger.
Soon, police will be there.
Get out of the house...
The call is coming from upstairs!"

You never were a hater,
But you tried to be a player.
You tried to come off cool,
But there's a devil in your lair.
You tried to be a good one,
But they talk behind your back.
They're plotting, they're wotnotting,
And they're planning their attack.
They severed your reality -
They twisted every turn.
They're burning and they're churning,
They don't render what you yearn.
Then panic triggers fever,
And you feel the fever burn.
If they keep on pushing,
Those suckers gonna learn.
Then the witness understands.
There is reason for concern.
There is a new commander -
And oh!   The worm has turned.

What could you do?
You never knew.
How could have you?
No-one told you.
Misery is glue,
Sticks to you.

You never were a villain
Till they clotted up your chill.
You never needed anyone
To tell you what you feel.
They only know to validate
Themselves - they never love.
If it suits their motives,
They will bite, and kick and shove.
There never was a heartache
That you could not overcome.
You have to have a heart that's hard.
So go out and get you one.
Trample loosers under foot,
Or they'll be too burdensome.
Keep your left hand from your right,
And keep your lovers under thumb.
Finally, you start to see
That life is just a loaded gun.
You can never stop to rest,
You're always on the run.

What could you do?
You never knew.
How could have you?
No-one told you.
Misery is glue,
Sticks to you.

You master all that you survey, Everybody knows your name.
Cream rises to the top -
You are the winner of the game.
If you gave them half the chance,  
They  would cut you down.
You forever have to watch your back,
Never let them gather 'round.
You didn't try to rule the world,
You only wanted to survive.
If they had their way,  
You would no longer be alive.
Your meter's getting weaker,
But you strive to make it through.
You've trudged thicker purposes,
You always make it through.
They will give it all they've got
When they finally come for you.
You have never had a moment's peace,
'Cause misery is glue.

What could you do?
You never knew.
How could have you?
No-one told you.
Misery is glue,
Sticks to you.

Mi' Padre' was stabbed in a bar fight.
The cantina is the deepest of wells.
Mi' Madre' put mi' ropa in la mochila.
La pandillas tiene mi' hermano - He fell.

Madre' sold her finest of silver
To buy maquillaje to color my face.
She said, "Better that you should have her"
To the man who had come from The United States.

Yo era una nina novia.
El era un hombre mayor.
I wanted to run away fast, go back home,
But nothing was there for me anymore.

I was but only sixteen.
I had never been touched before.
There I was in such a new land,
Our cothes crumpled on the floor.

The whole time I kept my eyes closed.
I longed for mi' familia and home.
He held me and slumbered when it was over.
My tears were hot and I felt so alone.
.
Yo era una nina novia.
El era un hombre mayor.
I wanted to run away fast, go back home,
But nothing was there for me anymore.

I was told to learn to speak English.
To abandon the language I knew.
I did not speak of my heritage,
It was better that I was kept from view.

I learned to cook like an American wife,
And soon I could speak like the rest.
It was difficult, but I learned how to fit in.
I even changed the way that I dressed.

Yo era una nina novia.
El era un hombre mayor.
I wanted to run away fast, go back home,
But nothing was there for me anymore.

These days, I spend keeping shop,
When the children are still at the school.
They are the heart of my life.
They are named Sally and Raul.

The nights are the hardest to get through.
I still dream of my other life,
Before I was given to my husband.
But I love him now, I am his wife.

But,
I remember when -

Yo era una nina novia.
El era un hombre mayor.
I wanted to run away fast, go back home,
But nothing was there for me anymore.

Hey now! Hold on, baby.
What'cha tryin'na do?
I've been around this big ol' block
A time or two.
You think you're cleaver,
But you really don't know -
I'm the only super-******'
Star of this show.
I'm here to tell you,
Get yourself in line,
Or maybe drink of
Someone else's bottle of wine.
I've heard all the talking
I'mma hear today.
You can either help me,
Or move out of my way.

Stop your complaining,
And you better not nag.
I'm not impressed by tongues
That only wag.
If your mind is weak,
You better take note.
Or you can go find
Another joint to ****.
You've been too jazzy,
And I've had enough.
It ain't even like
You've ever had it rough.
I am the man,
And I will have my say.
You can either help me,
Or move out of my way.

Your teary eyes
Aren't gonna prove a thing.
When it's time to rock-n-roll
You better know how to swing.
When I go get the bacon,
Better pick up a broom;
Or you can make the money
And I'll clean the room.
I'll go it with ya,
But not carry your load.
If that ain't good enough,
You can hit the road.
Remember, I'm the man
And I will have my way.
You can either help me,
Or move out of my way.

You can leave this party
By the door you came.
Because you signed a pre-nup
And gave up your claim.
Don't get to thinking
You can tame my style.
You better get to knowing
I can be mean and vile
If you wanna fix it,
We can give it a go;
But I don't wanna hear
About your every woe.
I've got ideas,
The world is mine today.
You can either help me,
Or move out of my way.

I've got some fuel
And I know my path.
I got no time for drama,
Or your daily wrath.
This might be the last thing
That I say and you hear.
If you want to stick with me
Then get your *** in gear.
Have I been clear,
So that you understand.
Your ******* gets old
And it's hard to stand.
We can clean the slate
And start it new today.
You can either help me
Or move out of my way.

Stiletto heels and a push-up bra,
Hair piled high, bleached and toned and all…
That’s the way you used to shuffle around,
But you ain’t been much since your man went to town.

Who’s that a’ worrin’ bout them wrinkles and lines?
Is that the same broad who fell for all his lines?
Well, since he left you all you do is frown.
No, you ain’t done much since your man went to town.

You could’a picked a man who would’a cherished you
Once upon a time when love was fresh and new,
But you picked the one who was known all around.
Now,  you ain’t known much since your man went to town.

(Interlude)

You could’a picked a man who would’a cherished you
Once upon a time when love was fresh and new,
But you picked the one who was known all around.
Now, you ain’t been much since your man went to town.

What’cha gotta to do to make it right
Is take your piece out of your purse, it’s a Saturday night.
What’cha gotta do is shoot him down,
‘Cause you cry too much since your man went to town.

(I'm still tweaking the arrangement. It should have an upbeat Little Richard or Ray Charles rock-n-roll mid-upbeat tempo with possibly hand claps on the downbeat like a spiritual chorus... since most early rock and r&b; musicians got their starts in small black southern Baptist churches. Let me know what you think. If it *****, tell me.

Of all the ways you've laid waist
to the Fortressess of Love I ***** in the realm of my emotions...

Of all the brittle limbs you send back crumbling on which once grew life I sent to you like pawns before me in this dry territory where the dust disturbs the view of the silvry illuminations in the sky...

Of all these things I've said, and the things I've not said...

At least, they let me know that you know I'm alive.

You got to know what for, Babe, you got nothin' to lose,
Just like ev'rybody else in the whole **** world.
You gotta break on through
To the other side of your sad attitude,
But you can't shake off
Them muddy Mississippi Bluez.

Well, Hell! She's beatin' on a drum
And she's gettin pretty loose.
Seems like ev'rybody else in the whole **** world
Is comin' down on her
And standin' on some plattitude.
She's just tryin' to groove
To the muddy Mississippi Bluez.

Up and down the water,
You watch the riverboats cruise,
As you drink against the tree beneath a sky of blue.
Sleep wants to take you,
But Honey, you refuse.
You gotta pay your dues
To the muddy Mississippi Blues.

Life along the delta can be simple and fine,
When the stills fill the jugs and the full moon shines.
You're gonna make it through
When you find a little gratitude.
So give your praise
To the muddy Mississippi Bluez

"Well, Hell! Take me away,
Muddy Mississippi.
I know I can count on you.
To stain my soul
Like muddy Mississippi goo.
I owe it all
To the muddy Mississippi Bluez!"

Oh, how you ***** me!
How you betrayed me!
You took away our romance!
Berated me,   
Degenerated me
At every turn of the dance!

Now, when you lied,
How I did cry.
How your mis-deeds turned me out.
I tried to forgive,
Tried to forget.
I tried to figure all this out.

Time and again
You hurt me so.
Everytime you strike with a low blow.
Shame comes to me
In memories.
I try my best to let you go.

You live to lie.
I wonder why
There is no truth inside your heart.
Your acridine,
Oscillate, shine.
You went right through me like a dart.

Where were you
When I needed someone?
You wrecked the soul  of who I used to be.
You rocked the loom.
And weaved love's tomb.
You have been the death of me.

This is the time.
I know I'll find
The strength I need to tell you so.
By this night's end,
Freedom begins.
I know I've got to let you go.

Traditionally
Haikus examine nature
and it's mysteries.

The egg decends from the pillowy sky and sinks to the blue-green ocean to be rolled a-shore by fish. It is swaddled in seaweed and remnants of aquatic flowers. The doves come to hatch the egg. From out of the cracked shell comes She, The Queen of Heaven. The swaddles are now like garments. The rabbit becomes her sumbol, for She is the Great Mother who brings with her the season of fertility.

Dancing on the lifeline,
Flying through the dirt,
Mixing into puddles,
Resembling the sky...

Everything is nothing.
Nothing is everything.
The truth is but a lie
Not looked in the eye.
The spoiled goods we buy!

Dancing on the lifeline,
Spinning dervish, spin.
Aquire all the knowledge you seek,
Find it is within.

Poets are the prophets
To the souls of those that read.
The magick that is in the verses
Always plants a seed
To enlightenment, the need.

We are all
Dancing on the lineline,
Connected by the threads,
That comprise the ribbons
Of the thoughts within our heads.

Everything for which we thirst
Is already in our chalice.
We only need to drink of it,
But need to keep the balance...
Beware the one called valiant.

Never fear that victor,
Who has never seen a challange,
Who has been given everything
On a silver platter.

Listen to the hope inside.
Follow it, as you lead.
As you cast your spells
And spin your webs, take heed.

Dancing on your lifeline,
Holding onto what is true.
Only when you care for others,
Will you know they care for you.

"My Lord, why is there only one set of footprints?"

"Because, my child, sand people always walk in single file to hide their numbers."

Read the poem;
Read the poet.

I, in my cocoon,
Shall become a butterfly,
Then spread rainbow wings.

To Live -
What more can there be to ask?
I am alive,
And continue to thrive.
Into every life comes tregedy.
Everyone needs to overcome.
Finding forgiveness fulfills the need.
Acceptance is the solution.
When I surrender
Is when I win.
And then there is this:
I Love You.

Stars are bowing to the moon,
It's crazy, yes, I know.
The world is on it's side, tonight
Basking in  the lunacy, oh no!
I'm swept away
In the Milky Way,
Caught up in the thought of loving you Even more
Than I did just yesterday.

Any Bob or Bill
Would watch water flow up hill.
Any stony heart would sing.
Every Dapper Dan
Would have you in his plan,  
Suspension of the natural laws,
You bring.

Sometimes I'd sit alone
And sing songs of where's the girl for me.
Sometimes I prattled on endlessly
To friends about how I was so lonely.
You know, sometimes, I'd even cry.

Every Jack without a Jill
Knows the emptiness I'd feel.
Even Adam, without Eve,
Would have shared his tears with Steve.

Then you came along
And forever changed the songs.
You filled the hollow space inside.
Since you came I haven't cried.

Stars are bowing to the moon.
Crazy, yes I know.
My heart would bow
Beneath the weight of loneliness,
If you didn't love me so.

There has been no time for tears,
No room for sorrow like before.
I will never make you cry.
No other love will love you more than I .

Thorefin,
Therifen,
Theraphin,
Raven Angel.
I do not expect
you to undestand.

I am he.
He is me.
She are we.
We are thee,
And there are more.
I do not think
This is something
Ordinary men conceive.

All the paintings of darkness
Are not to impress upon the critics
The level of my shallow depth,
Nor are my phrasings for the sake of vanity.

It is the darkness that gives lessons to the light, of things that I am not afraid to learn.

Like a papillon in a  season of change,
I am transformed into a dark lamp,
For I  have stood in many shadows.

I have soaked up the knowledge.

In my shadow,
Illumination awaits.

There's a nebulla in the sky
I named to homage our neighbor.
There's a constellation in your eye.
And I never knew I could love without hesitation,
Or temptation from another to ever leave your side.

It's been a beautiful day,
A walk through the skyless skies,
Like a dream of you slowly floating by.
Now I believe,
I'm sure that we can make it,
By and by.
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

The Suductress is tamed.
The Prince has settled her down.
The Queen has matched
Her gown to the Royal Crown.
The crimes have been pardoned,
So families can re-unite
(Moon and Sky)
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

It's been a beautiful day,
A walk through the skyless skies,
Like a dream of you slowly floating by.
Now I believe.
I'm sure that we can make it,
By and By.
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

I'm so glad
That you're going to let me hold you.
(One more time)
In my arms
I'll craddle you as we sigh.
Now I believe.
I'm sure that we can make it, by and by.
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

The air is brittle this ominous, wintry night.

The slivers of a life you used to know still haunt you, as surely as you have permitted them to be a haunt to others.

Without question, it is those memories that spur your ruminations; that cause your copious circumlocutions; which compell you to stand on this somber boulevard in front of this crumbling, but once stately manor that now is a languid presence with the solitary purpose of looming over the vast grounds.

It is obligatory that you proceed along the avenue that used to split the yards that are now overgrown and chocoblock with twisted vines, and thistles.

You pause, to gather your strength.
One deep inhailation and then you hold your breath as you grip the tarnished handle and lock leaver.

With a perfect degree of strength your thumb recalls, the mechanism is undone.

Your arm pushes forward.

The silence is disturbed by a warbling creak as the heavy door is slowly opened.

You exhale, then before you lose your nerve you quickly pass through the ingress and enter into the foyer,
which is instantly familiar in the dim, flickering light and the long, slender adumbrations effected by the gossamer encaked voltives jutting from the dusty walls.

Though it has remaned unchanged  
throughout all the time that has passed, standing in the ornate room affirms that the warmth with which you used to be recieved here has been abandoned to a frigidity.

You feel as if this room remembers you.

This is as far as I dare go with you, my friend, though I know you must continue.

I have listened to your stories, so
I know you have many rooms to search.

The closier that you seek is in a matter that is not my own.

I will depart upon rendering these words of warning:

When visiting the past,

As you daringly explore these often haralded halways,
Be careful what you leave behind.
Take caution not to lose yourself,
For a shadow lingers in the Suite Sublime.

If you believe in happy endings,
I believe in love.
I believe the Universe is sending
Singnals from above.
All my emotions I wear on my sleeve.
From the start I knew that I would grieve.
Promises were made to break.  
How much more can one heart take
From you.
Oh, you
Think nothing more will come of Tears
Than water-shedding through the years with you.
I am the one who can see
The depth beyond your narrow need.
Denials that you always claim
Never live up to their fame.
We lie in bed at night and cry.
Silent tears, my lullaby.
I wonder ever when the lies will end,
As we continue to pretend,
We cycle through the lies again,
and again,
and again.

You gotta know what for, babe, you got nothin' to lose,
Just like ev'rybody else in the whole **** world.
You gotta break on through
To the other side of your sad attitude,
But you can't shake off
Them muddy Mississippi Bluez.

Well, Hell! She's beatin' on a drum
And she's gettin pretty loose.
Seems like ev'rybody else in the whole **** world
Is comin' down on her
And standin' on some plattitude.
She's just tryin' to groove
To the muddy Mississippi Bluez.

Up and down the water,
You watch the riverboats cruise,
As you drink against a tree beneath a sky of blue.
Sleep wants to take you,
But Honey, you refuse.
You gotta pay your dues
To the muddy Mississippi Blues.

Life along the delta can be simple and fine,
When the stills fill the jugs and the full moon shines.
You're gonna make it through
When you find a little gratitude.
So give your praise
To the muddy Mississippi Bluez

"Well, Hell! Take me away,
Muddy Mississippi.
I know I can count on you.
To stain my soul
Like muddy Mississippi goo.
I owe it all
To the muddy Mississippi Bluez!"

I know That Times Will Change.
The Struggle is the same.
The Battle lines are always where they've been.
We've been charging for so long.
This time we must be strong,
Or be scattered like the leaves blown by the wind.

Yesterday as I was  walking.
I heard these two men talking
About a third man who wasn't there.
I heard them put him down,
Just because his skin is brown.
It's no wonder that the world just isn't fair.

I heard a woman say
She did not have equal pay
As the men who did the same job that she did.
When she asked the bosses why,
The looked her right in the eye,
And told her to go home and raise her kids.

In the poorer neighborhood
Where the roads are never good,
And the prices in the market are too high,
When you bother to compair,
The food is cheaper where
The well-to-do are sure to shop and buy.

I know that times will change.
The struggle stays the same.
The Battle lines are always where they've been.
We've been charging for so long.
This time we must be strong,
Or be scattered like the leaves blown by the wind.

They said in the news cast
A man was beaten bad.
He was on his way for treatment when he died.
He had dared to love a man,
and they called that love a sin.
I think the only sin was how they lied.

There's an teen-ager in jail
Being held without a bail.
His only crime was coming to our land.
Before they let him go,
They'll strip him of his hope,
Then send him to the gangs across the Rio Grande.

I know the times will change.
The struggle stays the same.
The battle lines are always where they've been.
We've been charging for so long.
This time we must be strong,
Or scatter like the leaves blown by the wind.

We've been fighting for so long.
This time we must stand strong,
Stronger than the leaves blown by the wind.

I miss the street theater at the moonwalk,
The coffee and beignets,
The late-night walks down Bourbon Street,
The scorching summer days,
And I miss you.
I miss the one that I once held
Beneath the city lights.
I'm going to find my way back.
I'm setting out tonight.
I miss New Orleans.

I miss the slow ferry rides
Across the Mississippi river deep.
We always stood on the very top,
So we would be sure to see
The skyline
Of the Vous Carre.
Don't you know,
Somehow, one day, I will return.
I'll sleep out under a bar's alcove
While night-time tourists crash and burn like stars.
I miss New Orleans.

I never thought I'd ever see the day
That I could feel so swept-away.
I'm going home, and there I'll stay.

Only now have I come to realize
Marie Leaveu must have my soul
Locked inside a voodoo grip
And She just won't let go.
I'm captivated.
I miss the one that I once held
Beneath the city lights.
I'm going to find my way back.
I'm setting out tonight.
I miss New Orleans.

I:

Dear Diary,

It was not hard to understand,
The feelings that he stirred in me.
I don't really think I was ready,
But he had to have his way with me.

As he pulled back the coverlet
His eyes gleemed in the candlelight.
I felt his callused hands upon my newness
And trusted him with my life.

His words were all I could have wanted
As our fingers interlocked, then splayed.
Nobody told me how much love hurts,
But I loved him, anyway.

He gently kissed me on my forehead,
And told me not to cry.
He used his beautiful lips
To kiss tears from my eyes.

I knew I had forever changed
As I watched him button up his coat.
Then he gently reminded,
I should not tell a living soul...

II:

Dear Diary,

How could I have known that I would love him,
But be left to deal with this alone.
I used an alias on the forms,
So nobody else will ever have to know.

I wondered how I'd feel when it was over,
When I've heard the doctor say that he was through.
I wonder how long I'll miss my baby.
Ending it was all that I could do.

As I walked alone along the Boulevard,
I realize that I must hurry home.
I told them I would be on time for dinner.
(God, please don't let them ask where I did stroam)

The heart can take a body many places
That you never dreamed your soul would go,
Can make you do things you never thought you would.
Most of all, the heart can lay you low.

I wonder if our paths should cross again,
Will I tell him of the ended pregnancy.
Perhaps if he had not gone away
We would have been a wholesome family...

I can't talk just now.
I'm Trending!
Couldn't you just DIE!
A-A-A-AH!
I don't know when I have ever felt this good!

(Is this what it feels like to be loved?)

I've been a fool.
I've been a fool, it's true.
Now I live without you,
Without you in my life,
Not holding you each night.
I can't go on,
I don't want to go on without you.

If it gets lonely in the dark of night,
Think about the light,
I used to bring,
And then we'd sing.
There was a time when you were mine.

If in autom you're sad when leaves are falling,
And there is no voice calling
Out your name,
Just refrain
To a time when you were mine.

Everytime the phone rings
And there's a silence on the line,
Or if you search for something lost,
It's me you'll find
At the end of the mystery.

Though I'm an old man and I am tired,
I'll never tire of loving you.

So let the summer turn to fall,
Let the winter **** it all,
It's born again in spring,
When all the hurtful things we've said, we've shed,
No, they won't mean a thing.

If you're alone and you can't stop crying.
Cry,
Cry for me, too.
I'll weep for you.
There was a time when you were mine.

Cream-colored cadavors cascade down the currents in the creases  and crevices that are the carnival of Creation crying their crusades.

I met a man who cried at a bar.
He told me he mourned, and travelled from far.
So I bought a bottle and he drank with me,
As he regailed me his memory.

"I'm waiting for you, Dear, alone in the dark.
You're dieing, they've told me,
It rips me apart.
You bravely are holding your fear at the start,
As I cry alone in the dark.

I've come to your bedside because you've been ill,
Since the cold winter morning you first felt the chill.
I'm waiting for Jesus to make you alright.
I plead for you not to die.

I ache for the sight of your watery eyes.
I hear you breathing, it sounds like good-bye.
This is a moment I'll relive and cry.
My beautiful songbord has died.

Wait for me, wait for me
on the other side wait for me
wait for me, wait for me
wait for me, wait for me."