Endless love
Held on fingertips
Waiting to caress your cheek

Confession of love
Lingering on my lips
To dance with yours they seek

I promise you that we will make love
On a bed full of philosophy books
So that the depth of our hunger
Matches the depth of our thinking

Every press of my nail upon your flesh
Will have you question your existence
You'll feel more alive with every thought
Then you will understand Rene Descartes

Our smoldering bodies radiating pleasure
Will have you disregard the material world
This passion will posses the highest reality
Then you'll understand Plato's forms

Amidst my guidance toward your ******
You will hold values and aspirations close
And form your most perfect self with me
Then you'll understand Friedrich Nietzsche

On this bed full of marvelous thoughts
We will lay tangled exhausted overjoyed
For our love our lust and our everything
Will have the immensity of philosophy itself

I had coffee at my lips
And good intentions with you

You had passion as fingertips
And a slow withering heart

I'm falling in love with you
Life is setting the punchline

I desire to explore your land
Sweep through with only my hand
It's this unquenchable yearning
In my core uncontrollable burning
Devour me with your gaze
Lips meet lips set me ablaze
Calm me as you cave my walls
Increase my high as this night falls

The night dips, crawls and falls at my feet
Hisses and rumbles as my attention it seek
I attempt to ignore it for I wish to behave
To uphold the morals my parents engrave
The night sprinkles white powder upon me
To try and wake me so with it I may flee
It casts a dark cloud just above my head
Tastes of whiskey and shame from which I was bred
Reminds me of the insatiable thirst I miss
Of flesh smoldering upon flesh with a kiss
The night tempts me to come out and play
But I want to be good so I elude it and stay

I will always be the slippery *****
               they warn you not to go down
         I am the clutter in your closet
                           they ask you to clean out
                Forever the reason you look
                              both ways before crossing

They say I am not right for you
         But I want to be your happiness
              The world sees me rotten
                         I wish for you to help me
                  Paint the world with color
                        So we may prove them wrong

To the world you're just a rose
To me you're my one and only
You weep because you don't feel loved
You ask to be held so I hold you tightly
Your thorns cause my blood to spill
I try not to think of the pain it causes
I hold tighter and you cry louder
And nothing seems to make you blossom
And this may not be worth it for me
But you still ask to be loved and held
But I do it and you can't recognize it

I bury my face in the pillow
While the pillow smothers my dreams
And my dreams devour my heart
But none of this can be seen
When it's covered by my sheets

I tried consoling the universe when it heard of your woes
But instead it filled space with raging black holes
 
I tried convincing the stars to illuminate your path
But instead they dimmed, in fear of your wrath

I tried asking Saturn to bring you joy by gifting you a ring
But instead it refused, knowing that happiness to you it wouldn't bring

I tried consoling the universe when it heard of your woes
But instead we cried because for us, your love no longer grows

We lived so long
thinking you were
the body of my thoughts

The beauty mark that I
Loved and saw
As the best part of me

But you were malignant
When I showed you
In the light to the world

I turned you into
An ordinary freckle
That I wear upon my body

The day I decided
You'd be nothing more
Than a blemish in my memory

I would shrink to a cellular level to reach your soul
  And kiss it back to life if it were ever   possible

You broke my heart
Shattered it into a million words
I'll arrange them into infinite poems
Until I piece it back together

Devouring the ravaging portrayal of arousal
Humming at tunes only heard and misunderstood
While forming science from abstract and holding
Pencils with dreamy hands enveloping haunting
And daunting beauty from within
As cerebral impulses begin exploding

To close my eyes and dream of space
Narrowed vision of open eternity
Stars and planets surround brightened space
All I see is darkness and its eternity
To close my eyes and ignore my space
A clear escape from all this eternity
Sufficated to know of this space
To have misery in vast eternity

Hold me as I silently sob
Rob me of my loneliness
Caress my empty flesh
Mesh your heart with mine
Dine on the small of my back
Lack in love as I also do
Glue our pain together
Forever we grow cold

If *** was the answer to all of my pain
Your lips on my skin I'd never refrain
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
Your every touch would drive me insane
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
I'd get lost in your body again and again
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
The beast inside me you'd never restrain
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
The swirl of darkness would cease in my brain

I
I loved you whole heartedly once
Under your bedsheets under the silence
Or any place covered in darkness
Where no one could see the way
Your flesh melded into​ mine
I suffered a year drowning in grief
You lived a life never committing
We met by chance and latched on
I loved how free your memories were
How wild your plans could be
I loved the life i found in your eyes
I enjoyed the rasp in your voice
Heavy with love, heavy with lust

                          II
I loved how you helped me heal once
Never had I loved in others
The parts I loved in you
You joked that you were my first
I'll never forget your bucket list
Give birth to life, love intensely,
Save a life, kiss a ******
You said you'd name your first child
Washington, where your heart belonged
You had fond childhood memories there
I remember making similar plans
Before life made its own plans for me
My thoughts were lingering on him
We argued about that some times
Screaming with lust, screaming in anger

                          III
I didn't know how to love you once
I was full of tantalizing words
Sizzling on the tip of my tongue
Waiting to tell you how I felt
But his name was the only thing
That could escape from my lips
You'd shout and cry and break things
You said my heart was an enigmas
Full of love for things that didn't exist
Full of love for people that no longer lived
I loved him imensely, I loved you intensely

                        IV
I love how you moved on once
You deserved better than to be
Someone's ***** little secret
You were anything but that to me
I didn't want you to fight ghosts
Because of my inability to let go
It was better off that way
Your mother called me one day
Five years after you walked away
I wore your favorite color as asked
Finally met your family years too late
I'm sure you checked off every item
From your bucket list right before
Your brother handed me your baby
He weeped as he told me that
She was named after where
Your heart really belonged
She carries your love, she carries my name

I can count by twos or i can count by tens
But i think we'd all be gone by then
I can brush away every strand of hair
But we find ourselves struggling for air
I can close the gap between us with a kiss
But you are still not the one I miss

I can count by twos or I can count by tens
But I'm sure you would have left again
I can beg and plead to get you back
But it's easier to have you pack
I can pinpoint the changes I should've made
But necessary attention to you I never paid

I can count by twos or I can count by tens
But I'd rather not think of the who or when
I can say something to make you believe me
But I'll never get over how my true love deceived me
I can promise to make this relationship grow
But you know I just want you to go

As I lay here I realize
this deafening silence
sounds just like you
And I laugh alone in the dark
because this is me saying
something melodramatic
to have an excuse to mention you
In the same way I have adopted
ending a sentence with your name
instead of using a period
Because you are the most
poignant ending I will ever know

I carry the
cruelty of Winter

Bleeds through all
of the seasons

Stops at your
heated Summer lips

My frostbitten lips
fear a kiss

The cold follows
with no reasons

Warm shivery sensation
like a splinter

On my mind
At the thought

Of both seasons
Meeting at once

You're like the harmony in my sad song
Tapping my feet while my melancholy sings
I hold your name at the tip of my tongue
Savoring it like my new favorite dish
Your eyes are the ones I get lost in
Finding the peace to guide me home at last
The best thing I have ever done in my life
Was to let you to course and pulse within me
I was the bit of darkness in your bright room
But i want to be the log that feeds your fire
The one that keeps you well lit year round

Baby don't run and hide
Just sit a while by my side
Say anything you can
Talk about what a vile human I am
I'll listen just to hear the sound
Of the only beautiful thing I found

Speak of how you want me to die
For god only knows I often try
But I remember what I'd miss
Like spending time with you like this
I've made mistakes time and time again
Yet your heart I've managed to obtain

Maybe we can begin to reminisce
And I'll lean in for a weary kiss
You and I know I can't behave
Our relationship I seek to save
Let's press more on this issue
So the sound of your voice can continue

Stare intently as I speak of my hell
And I'll apologize for how you fell
For me long ago and into my arm tonight
Your body beside me what a beautiful sight
I know I'm toxic and this is contagious
But my love for you is outrageous

Please let's stay like this for a while
Accuse me and put me on trial
You know how I can deceive
Rules and regulations I'm willing to receive
Just to have enough time to finally say
That from you I'll never stray

These thoughts scream in my head
Keeping my dreams under my bed
Where they fornicate with idle time
Breeding failure and poems that don't even rhyme
I toss and turn every night
Knowing conformity dims my light
I lay there as time goes on and on and on
Remembering the love that's come and gone
Yet I still remain
Same name
Same everything
With nothing

There are little worlds inside of me
Orbiting around my brain constantly
These worlds collide with eachother
Many tiny worlds exploding within me
Their remnants drape my fibers
Course within a stream of blood and ideas
Sometimes these collisions hurt
Sometimes these collisions bring joy
There are little world inside of me
They make me feel so alive
I hope they never die

I can renounce love and mock it for now
But one day I'll fall to my feet due to love
I'll smile at myself at the beautiful thoughts
Sigh every time my heart wakes up sore
From how much it exercises around you
When you whisper in my ear my reflex will be
To catch myself from falling head over heels
Rubbing my tummy to calm the wild flutters
That your presence is sure to elicit
I'm trying to stretch my tired legs
Before I run after love

Enslave me for I wish not be free
Do what you wish and ravage me

Relinquish my freedom my only treasure
I'll trade it all to drown in this pleasure

I succumb to all of your fantasies
Create art from lust with our anatomies

Today I realized that I cannot picture your face
I am forgetting things about you as time goes on
I have tried to find you in a song my throat burns
From yelling the lyrics hoping to hear your voice
I thought I found you at a party just last week
In a boy who parted his hair the way you did
But my body felt even colder pressed next to his
I am tired of waking up in a panic with my hand
clutching the sheets from your side of the bed
I snuck up to my mind to find any memories of you
But only found empty boxes with your name
I have heard my crying sound so foreign to me
That I have been startled silent late at night
Sometimes I want to crawl out of my own skin
To lie in the small of my back caressing  fingerprints
you have left behind so that I may feel you one last time
just one last time

If I could restructure this pain
To make it look beautiful
I'd spend an eternity doing so

Sometimes
All that surrounds
Is death
And I cry
Because I feel so small