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Dec 2020 · 509
Poem of The Night
Xant Dec 2020
It's how the moon injects colors into me,
into my old dying mind
Its blue, red, and green in my plasma
they sail and travel through my veins

Remarkable stars, they send my lost soul home
Home, that is my mortal frame,
home that is bound to earth
And so sound I laid
That I can finally get a grip

Sometimes the cloud comes too
Their cotton-like apparition
soft to the touch, overly-sensitive,
and inhumanly empathetic,
pouring down a rain
For it cried
So I don't have to cry alone

The night sky helps,
by wrapping me within its blanket of darkness,
lulling me to sleep to the song of the wolves,
blowing winds that rock the greens ever so gentle,
and therefore I know, when light has gone,
and the night has come,
I'm alive once more
Apr 2020 · 393
Wandering Soul
Xant Apr 2020
Wander alone, for once
Wander about,
on this earth
you don't quite understand

Take a nap on the sea,
for once
feel the cold water
being warmed by the sun

Sleep by the banyan tree,
for once
watch as the snake slither
under your feet

By then you'll hear whispers;
someone else inside you
Yourself, but not you,
saying things you dare not speak
Of pronanities, maybe
or of sorrow
your deepest wish, perhaps
of not waking up the next morning

So wander alone, for once
Apr 2020 · 152
I'm Found
Xant Apr 2020
I was lost
but I've been found
by wisps
that is in these tiny things
called pills

I was crashed
and I've been trashed
but I was fixed
by a thing called fluvoxamine
Jan 2020 · 210
Colors of Inferno
Xant Jan 2020
White, the lightning
burns and blinding
nothing heard but cries
of regretful souls
longing to go back in time
just to undo each and every crime
painfully, they howl
as they try to crawl
out of the underworld

Red, the flesh
of sinful sinners
when they clash
onto each other
and many wished,
can only wish,
to live again
but there is no bargain
in this world of pain

Black, the days
the burning frames
the rotten wraiths
No signs of mercy
for those with no faith
Longing for tomorrow
where there'll be no sorrow
but this is the inferno
the place of eternal woe
Oct 2019 · 545
Selfish Me
Xant Oct 2019
I was never born to be a hero
and to you, or by you, I'm not obliged
Cause I've no healing power bestowed,
no superman strength nor laser eyes

In fact,
my bones are twigs,
my flesh jelly
My mind's been rigged,
I need no more burden to carry

And I've fulfilled no expectations of yours
I'm not even trying to anymore
Cause I am not here to save the day
So keep your wrathful sorrow to yourself
When leaving a toxic relationship, half of me felt a big deal of guilt.
And the other half of me, felt like I deserved to be selfish for once.
I deserve to grow, I deserve to love myself before I
could love somebody else.
I can't fix a broken person,
if I am broken myself
Such a selfish being I am

-5/10/2019-
Sep 2019 · 824
10:37 pm
Xant Sep 2019
As the lights went dim
I found myself adrift
into an altered reality

And that's about
the furthest I can get,
away from this harsh
substantiality
How I feel when the stores are closing for the day
Sep 2019 · 647
Depressed Bird's Chirp
Xant Sep 2019
At last,
I feel at ease
Alas,
There goes the leash

I am far too young to be bound,
far too old to stay around
Clueless of what there'll be
outside, I might as well feel lonely
I need no freedom
For in this cage,
I am free

And at last,
I feel at ease
I made this poem half asleep
That's why it makes no sense hahaha
Sep 2019 · 714
Yellow Brick Road
Xant Sep 2019
The truth is
what once was yellow brick road
is now red from blood
blotched by dirt
and partly
covered in moss

I see no purpose nor hope
in following this particular road
that leads me back to a place
so called 'home'

It's rather unpromising
and untempting
unwelcoming even
And it makes me think;

At the end of the road,
will I be left to rot
by the people who once swore
that I will be loved
but would leave me standing
forsaken and starving
like they used to do

And so I'd rather stay in Oz
Then to follow the 'yellow brick road'
To get to a place where
I were to be ignored
My high school friend who had a dysfunctional family told me that she would never want to go home ever again.

She sees her family as what was beautiful, now sorrowful.

I could only imagine how her sweet childhood memories (re: yellow brick road) had turned bitter (re: red from blood).

And this poem, I dedicate it to her.
I wish her happiness :)
Sep 2019 · 534
How's Your Day?
Xant Sep 2019
If I were to say
about my day
There need only three words
And three words only


Such an outburst of profanity,
but they keep me away from insanity


So if you ask me "How was your day?",
there'd only be three words for me to say;


Holy

    Moly

        Guacamole :D
How was your day, everyone? :)
Mine's been very... Crazy
Sep 2019 · 775
Seventh Sky
Xant Sep 2019
The man's Mr. Rogers
by God he had been sent to fly
And now, he is on his seventh's sky

Sometimes he misses life,
his two kids and his wife,
also the earth where he once thrived

But alone he must go
on this sea of galaxies he must row
and although he feels no sorrow
he fears being lonely

So he sings a tune familiar to all
This time no red sweater nor piano
not even children singing along
for he is alone in the cosmos
heading to the bliss where he belongs
"I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you."
This Poem is a tribute to Fred Rogers, a wonderful soul.

Read this poem in another perspective : https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2367625/a-lonesome-astronaut/
Sep 2019 · 406
Come Play Outside
Xant Sep 2019
The moon peeked into my house last night
It sent signals within its piercing light,
and it said come play outside if you might

   **

"It's pretty lonely out here in the dark,
nothing to hear but the hoot and the bark,
but I have made you a warm cozy blanket of light,
so come play outside if you might"
19/8/2019
Sep 2019 · 822
White Wool
Xant Sep 2019
I'm lost
Lost in a merely daunting hallway
I've walked what felt like miles,
I'm worn
Something's been pulling my legs,
my arms,
and my head
closer to the walls
trying to swallow me whole
all night long

Only light there is
is a yellow light
born out of a twilight;
dim and soft
soft as a kiss
But as I got deeper into the hall,
twas the time my eyes could see
everything that lies in the dark;
the creaky wooden floor,
the creeping spiders,
and,

A door

A lady walks out of it
She cries,
she walks fast
She also sheds a tear
with her white wool sweater
that's been red from blood

I peek inside
And what I see,
Is a grey figure lying on the floor
his neck ******
his mouth open
he was the lover
of the weeping lady
and he's been ****** to death

So I run away,
further into the dark
for methinks I could be next,
I think no more,
I run nowhere,
I bump into another door

I slam it open

and you're awoken
from your dead-like sleep
You scoot and spare me a space
in your casket
just for me to hide in
Then you cover my trembling frame
with a warm white wool blanket

And with the yellow moon shining behind you,
I can barely see your face but-
I see gorgeousness,
That in a second,
I've forgotten where I am
I smile and say
"Thank you for the blanket,
It's warm"
It's a trap ! The weeping lady is a vampire and so is the man in the casket. But too late, soon the white wool blanket will turn red. This poem is based on a dream I had.
Sep 2019 · 417
One Milisecond Apocalypse
Xant Sep 2019
The whole universe paused
Oh Jeune Homme,
What have you done?

Your eyes reflected a picture
of how Proxima Centauri held its feeling no longer;
It exploded!
Into trillion heaps of wonders
it shattered
And it seemed like the sky is falling
That even the earth stood still wondering
But why did you not flinch at all?

Though on your chest I felt the great vibration
Of Mount Vesuvius fulminating once again;
Getting rid of all its innards and pain
As if trying to turn us into ashes
And for that my heart beat races

But you were smiling instead-
looking at me in the eyes and said
"Not a single mountain had erupted,
and not a single star had exploded.
Jeune fille, you're just in love."

-8/4/19-
I immediately grabbed my pen to write down my feelings right after I heard the words "I love you" for the first time. Daunting, but it was very lovely. I guess being scared to death is a part of falling in love, right?
Xant Apr 2019
You look dreadfully charming today
But Oh,
haven't you see me already?


Maybe I'm still too far from your gaze
But I am already attached to your flair
For I can see you crystal clear


Still can't see me?
Do you remember me?
Or do you not know me at all?
I'll just wait another day and maybe
Just maybe, you'll see me


My, oh my
I can't help but to put a long face
My presence is more of a fate


I'm your lifelong companion
I've been here since you were born
I'm always here when you're alone
I've always been here
Yet you never notice


I'll just wait another day and maybe
Just maybe, you'll see me


You still can't see me?
Strange, for I don't even hide in the dark
Everywhere I lurk I make the dogs bark
But still I am forsaken
Yet so inevitable,
I am inevitable indeed


And unseen
Untouchable
Only until it is time
For us to meet


I thrive from the frights of the souls when they see me roll
Like they never know I exist
Like I'm a beast

But today, my friend, it is time
For you and I

-from Death,
Your Lifelong Companion
Y'all been sleeping on mr. Death. He been following us everywhere yet y'all never notice him :(
Apr 2019 · 1.6k
Selfish Fool
Xant Apr 2019
You think the sun is only yours to have?

You think it rises up  and set down just for you?

You think the flare is all for you?

You think you own it?

Ha.
Selfish Fool
How I feel when someone doesn't wanna share their food
Feb 2018 · 3.5k
A Lonesome Astronaut
Xant Feb 2018
He's up there
The lonesome astronaut,
with a will to fly,
and a skill of flight

He and a star
that have just collided
both dies gracefully
Like a flower withering in spring
But the star still haughty
And so full of itself it explodes
Into a supernova

He and the star
that emits the brightest light
And obscures the eyes
of whoever that sees
As he dies ever so faithfully

And the flaring light?
Blinds thousands as it emerged
in the darkest seven p.m.
But we were wildly astonished
by the lonesome astronaut
who was a dashing astronaut

-2018-
A poem inspired by a song.

— The End —