It's a different kind of lonely,
Don't act like you know.
You've been single for a few weeks,
I've been alone all of my life though.

I'm a romantic with noone to be romantic with,
It's like there's no horses for the chariots.
So my heart's just racing.
Over and over I'm pacing,
Wondering if I'm fighting a battle and it's this world that I'm facing.
Because there's no romantics,
And it feels quite tragic
That  these things I read in books are only dreams and magic.
There's noone that I have seen looking for love and what it means,
Just a few one night stands
And none of that works for me.

I feel alone.
Like love is going extinct.
And I'm one of the last ones,
But that's just what I think.

A heart always tempted,
Forever that which loves.
Unconditionally,
Broken hearts lay in the wake.

Insecurity breeds fear,
When nothing has ever proved to be
What you wish it to be.

The world revolves,
So too do its people.
Till one day,
Two hearts meet,
Two hearts beat.
And now all around me they stand,
As I stare down at my feet,
Waiting for someone to walk my way.

I feel my heart on the decline.
My love for love recedes into the deepest crevices of my mind.
It hurts too much to leave your heart open.
In a world so cold,
The breeze only makes it frozen.

I'd rather walk steady with a heart of stone,
A lone wanderer through the night.
It hurts less when you've chosen to be alone.
I'll have those close to me,
But never too close.
I'll keep my heart at a distance.
And hold affection I suppose.

As long as I no longer have to feel this way,
For thoughts of finding love come and ruin my day.
No longer do I wish to fall in love,
No longer do I wish to be hurt.

Prints march forward two at a time,
Soothingly setting one paw after another,
In a manner so sublime.

“It’s beautiful,” you’d say.
Yet only watch from a distance.
As does his kind,
So he lives a solitary existence.

Beauty admired by all,
Yet he walks alone till he does fall.
Until then he hunts alone.
Elegance trailing him,
As nothing else will.

Watch the trail of the leopard.
Watch it sneak through the grass,
Watch the tracks it leaves behind,
As it runs alone
With not a soul intertwined.
Watch it walk this solitary line.

He can hear the voices so much clearer now.
They have him at the edge.
Starring down the barrel of a loaded gun,
At the tip of the blade,
With nowhere to run.

He's drowned it all in smoke,
But the same words still can't leave his throat.
So now he stands beneath the rope.

"Help me."
His demon's have reasoned for far too long,
Now before you stands a man
With his heart long gone.

There's a demon in my head,
I tell it the truth,
And listen to the lies it's said.
It says, that I can just drown in smoke.
It tells me, it'll help pull the words from my throat.

Now I'm drowning,
I've been left in this place.
I'm choking,
Sorrows leave me in this state.

I'd rather not see you in mourning,
So I say I'll get help in the morning,
But I know i won't.

I listen to my demons,
They numb my throat when I scream.
I listen to my demons,
They make sure I don't dream.
When I fall asleep sober,
All I see are nightmares,
And I wish it could over.

I'm struggling, trying to catch my breath.
Fill my lungs with smoke, but the burdens aren't lifted yet.
I still see the world, but it's all in grey,
Won't someone take me away.

I am ******* hurt.

I am in ******* pain.

I am trying not to be ******* angry.
I am trying not to feel it all.
I am trying and failing.
I am trying not to detest,
I am trying not forget my soul.

I am always trying to be happy.
I am always failing to be.
I am always teased with light
I am always tricked into darkness.
I am always wishing.

I wish I could be better.
I wish I wasn't scared.
I wish I didn't feel this pain.
I wish this doesn't last the forever it already has.
I wish some day.
I wish I get to be happy.

Never could I have guessed the day I'd come to face your smile.
Never could I have guessed you'd run my heart so wild.

I never saw you coming,
Yet I'm so glad you came my way.
Oh what I'd have missed had I missed that day.

Life finds a way to throw a spanner in the works,
Sometimes it breaks your world,
And other times it breaks your view of the world.
I could never have expected the day my days became so much brighter.

We became friends like just like that.
Clicked at first meeting
Now I wait outside classes for your sweet morning greetings.

I wanted more from that first day,
So opened my heart,
But I always give too much away.

I tell you stories I should be embarrassed about,
You giggle so playfully.
I do stupid things
To make you smile.
There's noone whose company I'd enjoy more than yours.

I'd rather talk to you all night than see a movie,
I'd like to see you smile, laugh, giggle.
I'd like to tell you everything,
Even the things I shouldn't.

I try to become a choice
But am never chosen.
I try to get close...
But maybe that's the problem.

The world is not a safe place,
It warrants a heart of stone,
Yet there remains the gentle hearted.

Too foolish in their faith,
Letting their hearts bleed for others.
They posess a love so rare to find,
That most will never notice their strength.

We are those too foolish to give up on people,
Too foolish to lose faith in love,
Too caring to be selfish,
Too hurt, to hurt.

I'm tired of walking in the dark.
Marching through the abyss,
With my sight set on light.
Hoping I'll find dawn at the end of the night.

It's cold when the sun doesn't shine.
So I wrap my arms around myself,
And say that I'm fine.

I struggle to dream of the light...
So long gone that it seems out of sight.

I don't think I can do it anymore...
Falling in love is a pain and a pleasure,
So many moments I treasure,
And then that one...
That shakes me to my core.

I don't know any better than a "no"...
I've lived my whole life at the end of that word.
All it ever took was 2 letters to break me apart,
2 letters to break my heart.

I don't know if I believe anymore...
In myself, in fate...
In love.

All I have is fear.
And all it does  is tell me
That it's easier to be alone
Than it is to reach for love,
And find the same 2 letter word.

You were as simple a man as you needed to be.
You'd sit us by the bedside,
And read us a story.

I remember the way you joked,
Even about your darkening heart.
You never wasted a day,
Not till the day of your depart.

I knew how you wanted to go,
Peacefully with the breeze
That carried along your soul.
I knew that you never wanted us to cry,
The jolly old man,
That would never want to bring a tear to an eye.

You were a king in your own right,
The humble man on a throne.
True kings aren't buried in coffins of gold,
Their buried in our hearts,minds... and souls.

If you were happy to sit among the soil on which you stand,
Would you stay?
Or part ways?

This land among which you've found home,
Would you give it away,
and continue to roam?

Would you let another settle in this place,
Because you whole life you've only led a chase,
And fear the thought of remaining here?

Put your faith in the ground,
And you'll build a foundation most sound.
But you'd rather be done with this place of paradise,
And continue to run around.

Bells ring in my head.
The sound echoes infinitely throughout my mind.
A thought I can't forget,
That lingers on all other thoughts.

It leeches from the world around,
Stealing the sound and leaving naught but silence...
And the ringing.

Taken from the present,
It pulls me far into the depths of my mind,
Where sight does not reach
And so too, are the other senses blind.

Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
I'm too scared to open that door.

We looked up at the stars,
Undisturbed by the sound of passing cars.
They shimmered across the night sky
As by and by
Crickets chirped, as birds nestled into the night.

The cold grass countered the warm breeze,
And the ground caved ever so slightly,
Molding to our shape with ease.

She lay down with her head upon my chest
As we both starred into the vastness of the sky.
Its majesty, its magnificence.
Boundless.
Beautiful.

I'd glance to my side at her,
Knowing full well
That she captivated me more than the sky ever could.

                                                                                      And then I'd wake.
                                                                                         Back into reality.
                                         But never for a moment let go of that dream.
                                      Never stop searching for that perfect moment,
                                                                        With that perfect someone.

I can't begin to understand,
What it's like to walk at your side,
Hand in hand.

It's always been a dream,
Yet so far it seems.
And sometimes I tear
And fall apart at the seams.

It takes a moment,
To make or break a heart.
Just a word from your lips,
And love starts,
Or falls apart.

I wish you could hear my heart,
And wish yours would beat the same,
Because at night I stare at the ceiling,
And I just think of your name.

Oh tell me god,
Why does this confession feel like sin?
My smiled pulled to the edge of my cheeks,
You can see the grin on my face when she speaks.
But it's more than that, I feel a warmth in my soul, like a piece of me, once lost , is calling out to home.

And I'm excited but I'm filled with fear,
Always retreated when a heart came near,
Pushing away, always thought I was riding it out on the down stream,
But never realising I was on the upstream to my dreams,
Too afraid of what I see not being what it seems,
Falling apart I grab a pillow and scream,
Panic induced and breaking at the seams...
And I'm sorry but that's just me,
Carry my scars not physically but mentally and some times it makes me act detrimentally when clutched by anxiety, I'm sitting back, thinking, " what if everybody lied to me?", but honestly I'm trying to be that somebody better than me...for you.

So now...
I'm here with a confession.
It feels like sin,
But is only good intentions.

Do you feel trapped?
Bound by your own fear?

Do you too fail yourself,
Before taking a chance at success?
Find yourself having a heart wrapped in the chains of a mind too fearful to risk a broken heart?

Too scared to feel,
Knowing what it's like to love,
Yet not knowing what it's like  to be loved.

Crack and crumble,
Shatter to shards,
One by one they tumble to darkness.

Falling apart at the seams,
I see the collapsing of envisioned dreams.
I watch memory turn to myth,
And desire to a wish.

We dare the world to challenge,
And the world responds in kind.
Plans made fade to rumour,
The world laughs with its dark sense of humour.

Try as I may,
Fate will go its way.
And among this road I’ll stumble,
Till fate is mine to play.

The eyes dont lie.
Try as you may,
Your eyes will show the words
That your mouth struggles to say.

The eyes don't lie,
So when i see your smile i see the truth.
Sometimes i wish i was blind.

You leave me in a flutter,
Butterflies run rampant in my stomach.
This state of ascension,
Just by the mere presence of your attention.

These conversations leave me afloat.
Adrift on an ocean of thought,
Where nothing real feels of note,
And reality means naught.

This moment of mesmerism,
Holding my heart, my mind, my soul.
And I'll replay my actions
Like the motions of a mechanism.
Falling into the same state,
Feeling as is if it's butterflies I've ate.

I'm awestruck in your presence,
So aware of my words,
Trying to craft the perfect sentence.
It works in theory,
But in practice it fails.

I'm too entranced by your laugh,
Warmed by you words,
Infatuated by your tone,
How could I focus when you jest at my heart so.

It's unfamiliar to me,
The thought that someone could care.
Yet you warm me to it,
As if it's my heart you dare.

I feel open for the first time in a while,
With you I feel the 'myself ' I always used to see.

Just...just the way you giggle...
Makes me bite my lip and hold my tongue,
'Cause I'm still too scared to say it feels like love.

Sometimes i wish for a moment of bliss.
The world echoes so violently behind me,
That i craved it.
Yearned for it.

To me it became a rare commodity,
One that kept bay the insanity.
Ideas scattered like loose pages across the floor,
Were now bound by thought.

But this world...
It does not give you what you wish,
But rather what it wishes to give you.
So i cherish what solace i find,
Always in search of another moment to unwind.

The feeling of hopelessness lingers on my heart,
I watch lovers come close,
And feel myself fall further apart.

I hate this day as of late
When two hearts collide,
And as if per fate,
Mingle in a flurry of majesty.

It pulls on my heart,
And I cannot pull myself away.
Oh the beauty of love given a day,
Only reminds me that my heart is on its way.

I feel like I'm sinking beneath it all.
And the more I sink
the more I reach for things that float.
But they don't pull me up,
The just delay the fall.

I struggle, trying to swim to the surface,
But ultimately succumbing to the haul of the cold waters.
I burst forward with fervour,
But I can't escape the pull of current.

Deeper
And
Deeper
I go.
I can't see the light anymore.

Pain like no other,
Visualized from the droplets that slide down a cheek.
Like the clearest of blood dripping from the eye,
But bleeding from the heart.

More than just the liquid pours out.
Shirts stained with head pressed to chest,
And words seep through lips wrinkled,
As sadness takes over and deprives of rest.

Sticks and stones,
I'd rather have broken bones.
For these eyes bleed worse
Than any bruise could ever be.

My poetry is my diary.
The trail left by my soul,
The song sung by my heart,
And the places my mind dared to explore.

Hurts too much to be hurt,
So I'll just be on my own.
Sorry mom,
Couldn't find a girl to bring home.

I wish I wasn't this scared,
Feeling like Fear has a blade to my throat.
Telling me I'll be hurt,
If I try to let it go.

Cold mornings no longer take me by surprise,
I don't wake expecting the brown in your eyes.
Coffee on my own,
No longer makes me feel alone.
They say it's better to have loved and lost,
I say it's safer when you're on your own.

I like sweet things.

They call it "a sweet tooth",
I'd say that's somewhat true.
But my tooth tends to sweeten
Only when my days turn to blue.

The world brings you down...
Then the sugar hits
And for a moment you feel the delicious energy
Surging through your veins.

You feel the dark become a little bit brighter,
And the hues of the blue no longer weigh down as much,
Upon your bruised shoulders.

Sugar just makes the world...
A bit sweeter.
So I'll run on a sugar rush.

I'll tell you why i like being at home.

It's the silence.
Not a sound can be heard.
No footsteps in the hallway,
Or cars driving by.

It's the darkness.
The curtains are just  thicker and darker,
And light ceases to pass through.
Not even light slips beneath the door.

It's the bliss.
When I look up as I lay in bed,
All I see is the darkness.
And in the darkness can be whatever I want it to be.
I dream while awake...
Because when I close my eyes all I see are nightmares.

I want to live on the high I feel
When I see you.
I want to fall into the skies,
That lay within your eyes.

Feel my heart flutter,
As my words stutter.
I can't help but be humbled by your grace.

Tired of living on a rollercoaster of a high,
Because I know it only lasts when I'm  by your side.
I'd rather lie in this pool of infinity,
Then be swept away by the endless tide.

It lives in its entirety
Throughout eternity.
In a multiverse of possibilities,
It remains steadfast in its certainty.

Never faltering
Never fading.
Come the storm when it's lightning and raining,
Let the world beat down with not a thing refraining.

It holds steady,
It holds fast,
As one does with things meant to last.

And even when death does us part,
Forever and always
You'll have my heart.

(Anthem -noun
A rousing or uplifting song identified with a particular group, body, or cause.)

Sing it loud, sing it proud,
Oh hearts that march lonely through the crowd.
Let speakers blare,
Blow love through the air
And show the world to love.

Us broken hearted fools,
Who've lost love or have not a clue.
We march on through pain with our song,
With the hope of love that keeps us strong.

Us romantics,
No matter how broken and bruised,
The thought of finding love will pull us through.
And we look to the future,
Knowing it'll be worth the wait,
If we find someone to hold,
Till the end of our days.

Today I walked onto campus,
Worrying of the end results of the day.
Things would change if it went my way,
And if not...

A life change,
Judged by a portfolio of poems, stories and drawings.
It's scary,
Sitting in a room with new people,
Passing by time with silly things,
Just waiting for the call of your name.

They said I was good,
They said I'd been accepted.
I smiled,
So wide.
I smiled,
With pride.

Under a tree he sits and sings,
strumming away to his heart's desire.
A man with a thought,
And a heart filled with fire.

You can hear it in his voice,
Both the pain and the pleasure.
The roughness from his throat,
As he tells you what he treasures.

You'll never see him without that guitar at his side.
He may lie when he speaks,
But there's no mistaking the truth when he sings.

I want to tell you a story.
It doesn't have a happy ending,
No sweet beginning
Or teary ******.

I want to tell you a story,
But the end is not yet written.
For now the tale lies somewhere between,
With no clue to an ending.

I want to tell you a story,
But I'm not yet sure how this one goes.
I want to tell you a story,
I don't know much,
But I'll tell you what I know.

Dressed in red, you approached me.
I dare say you impressed,
Yet I expected nothing less.

You lifted your hand and I took to a knee,
Kissing it gently.

"I love you," I said.
And back you whispered words that need not be spoke,
The same words I had.

I finally found a place to escape,
Where i don't feel like there's an axe about to strike at my nape.

I know the executioners name,
Because when he pulls of that mask,
I just see my own face.

They say that everyone has a purpose but I just can't find my meaning,
I look out into the vastness of the world and I'm screaming,
But nobody hears me,
And that's what scares me.
Screaming into a void not empty but hollow,
They say if I want to make it, it's my feelings I have to swallow.

"Focus on the money,
So you can support a family,
Go nine to five everyday,
That'll make you happy."
But I can't see myself at a desk,
Just writing lines,
That lack all meaning,
But fits the bottom line.

I'm sorry I don't subscribe to your definition of happiness,
Sorry that I have a different view on what happy is.
Sorry that I don't want to be a doctor or an engineer.
Sorry that I'd rather write words than do mathematics all year.

No, im not sorry.
You told me to live life.
That's what I'm doing.
This is how I live, through my work and my art...
This is how I want to leave my mark.

I'm scratching over pages,
The words just won't come out.
I'm running out of patience,
And my fear's paired with my doubt.
I'm losing track of time,
But I still know that it's been too long.

When was the last time, I tried to write a love song?
When was the last time, I tried and it all went wrong?
I'm losing my grip on my heart,
My lonely heart,
It's tearing me apart.

I don't remember how it felt last time,
Just that you felt like mine,
And then it all went wrong.
I guess i waited too long,
Didn't take my chance,
But oh, how I wished to see the stars with you,
And hoped that we could dance.
I could see forever,
But you couldn't see me,
And now I'm out here,
Writing songs while feeling lonely.

So now I try to hold on,
To the glimpse I knew,
I remember all the trauma that followed,
But I was always happy...
With you.

This palace is grand.

Roses lined the roads that entered,
And a crisp green carpeted the plains that lay beside.

The marble columns rose to the sky,
Their sharp white sending glimmers into the distance.

Warmth filled the rooms,
As too did the scent of Maplewood crackling within the fireplace.

Mould grew spotilly on the ceiling above,
It complimented the flaking metal of the bedframe.
A hole in the ceiling dribbled water onto the damp pillow.
Drip.Drip.Drip.

This palace is grand.

I rarely get any peace.
There are some moments,
So brief in the grand scheme that they seem like nothing more than a dream.

I struggle to breath,
Always feeling kept beneath the voices in my head as they try to speak.
My head hurts as it weighs so heavy,
And as my balance falters,
I fall.

All I want is to keep that feeling that I know,
To take it everywhere I go.
I know peace,
Yet so rarely have I felt it.

I know all too well what it's like
To feel sidelined.
Walking on the outlines
Of the portrait of a lifetime,
Part of the background,
With muted sound.
Feeling like there's nowhere to look,
But down.

I get it.
Feeling your heart beat,
But your hearts don't meet,
And you wish the feeling was not this sweet.
Your mind tells your heart to retreat
But it's not as simple a feat,
And as you walk away
So to does your mind stray,
Till you can all but see the light of day.

It hurts to be the watcher.

Excuse my drunken heart and the words I say,
Excuse the slips of my tongue as my mind slips away.

Sorry for the thoughts you won't understand me slur.
Sorry for the lines that don't make sense
because I speak without context.
Sorry for the truths I told
that were never meant to be heard.
Sorry I made you worry...