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Sep 2023 · 984
Shay Sep 2023
If the sun could burn as intensely and as bright as you do,
the Earth would never see another night;
in a too-often dim world that is tired and blue,
you - for so many - offer the shining light.
Jan 2022 · 618
Shay Jan 2022
In 7 years time all the cells in my body will be obliterated
and brand new ones will be created;
which means that one day I will have a body that you won’t have touched or destroyed
and that brings a sense of comfort and brings me back from the void.
Jan 2022 · 862
Broken Wings
Shay Jan 2022
She used to be so colourful and bright,
with wings that allowed her to spread the light –
but now she’s colourless and there’s darkness in her soul,
her wings are paper-thin and torn; she’s no longer whole.
Nov 2020 · 416
Shay Nov 2020
As I walk into the sea,
I am encapsulated.
My lungs filled with the cold air debris,
I become asphyxiated.

I'm no longer afraid of the water covering my head,
I just let it take over and stop fighting.
My breath becomes the bubbles in the water instead;
the image of being pulled under is my final sighting.
depression, drowning, sad, mentalhealth, mental, health, depressed, tflers
Oct 2020 · 412
Loss of Light
Shay Oct 2020
I watch the sunset but it’s tainted blue,
all the flowers are dying and the ocean’s empty too.
The world as I see it has lost all colour and life;
all that’s left is the dead weight of darkness and despair that is rife.
Feb 2020 · 503
Shay Feb 2020
You're the lighter that ignites my spark
and causes my inner gunpowder to mark
the darkened sky with an explosion of coloured lights;
I'm a firework landmark of the nights.
Feb 2020 · 325
Shay Feb 2020
Like a wolf chasing and attacking its prey,
my body has turned on me and I’m fading away.
Breathing is harder and my body is on fire,
will this pain and torment never tire?
Apr 2019 · 424
Shay Apr 2019
I’m fragile like glass and I fear that I might again break
after piecing myself back together flake by flake;
too many times have I fought for happiness in this war,
so I give in and let myself drown in the darkness and be no more.
Apr 2019 · 865
Shay Apr 2019
I ran away today; and so I failed.
I couldn’t face my biggest fear; instead I bailed.
Suffocated from the inside out,
I was trapped and full of doubt.
Screaming on the inside, quiet on the outside;
within fear and anxiety is where I reside.
Dec 2018 · 403
Shay Dec 2018
I am torn into pieces like confetti,
                   tired from this fight; my soul is empty.

I want to     F
                                   away and be here no more,
          to find a peaceful place where I’m no longer in this war.
Dec 2018 · 460
Shay Dec 2018
Through all of this, I grow strong against the wind and rain,
blooming from the dark place I was buried; growing from the pain.
Dec 2018 · 281
Shay Dec 2018
The burning fire rises within my chest and makes me want to scream;
at both everything you took from me and all you left me with – they are two extremes.
You took away my innocence, purity, my entire childhood,
broke me into pieces and took as much of me as you could.
Now I am left powerless in a pit of despair, and I don’t feel alive,
completely immersed in a lake of despondency, I can barely survive.
Sep 2018 · 329
The hurting
Shay Sep 2018
It’s a dark, cold September night sitting beneath the oak tree,
watching the sky as the stars come out; making a wish for me.

Wondering if I’ll ever feel the warmth spread through my veins like wildfire -
if I’ll ever feel the glow of happiness again or if the sadness will never tire.
Sep 2018 · 684
Shay Sep 2018
Remember that you cannot find healing in people who broke you,
instead you have to let them go and cleanse your soul of devalue.

Find healing in yourself and how far you have come despite all of the hurt,
and in how much hope and inspiration to others you exert.
Jul 2018 · 357
Silken Poison
Shay Jul 2018
Once again I fall backwards into the abyss,
all by lifting the silken poison to my lips in the search for bliss.
The burning liquor has become my 'tonic' and my 'cure',
and it makes the reality of life so much easier to endure...

But the days are a haze and the nights are obliterated from my mind;
could this poison be my enemy that has me confined?
It's killing me slowly; its toxins flowing within my veins -
yet I am addicted and I'm ******* and held within its reins.
Jul 2018 · 310
Shay Jul 2018
Just like that, you shut the door on me -
on everything we, and our future, could ever be;
I never saw it coming, I thought we were happy.
Yet you said goodbye when I needed you most -
now all I have are our memories and a ghost
of everything you used to be when we were close.
Jul 2018 · 375
Shay Jul 2018
How could anyone understand what's going on in my mind?
And if they found out, would they be horrified by what they find?
Will they hate me when they realise that instead of opening my mouth and knowing where to begin,
I cut open my skin to get rid of the monsters within, like this is a war that I could even win?
Jul 2018 · 405
Shay Jul 2018
As I sit down in the garden, rivers of tears drown my face
but the sun's rays beam down onto my back radiating warmth at a fast pace.
And I place my bare feet onto the breezy grass where, for once, I feel grounded and at peace,
and instead of suffocating, I can breathe again - a newfound release.
Jun 2018 · 511
Shay Jun 2018
Your abuse broke me into pieces and left me suffocated by pain,
but I have risen stronger and I’ll never be defeated again.
The spirit of a lioness flows through my veins;
with courage and strength now ravaging my soul like a hurricane.
Jun 2018 · 489
Shay Jun 2018
Where happiness once lay, melancholy now lies;
thunder, lightning and rain have taken over my sunrise.
The light has been extinguished and now my mind is dark,
I don't know who I am anymore; I've lost myself and my spark.
Apr 2018 · 683
Shay Apr 2018
I look at you the same way people admire art;
your quirky ways captured both my eyes and my heart,
and still you are a masterpiece – beautiful and captivating,
and everything you say or do, I find most fascinating.
Apr 2018 · 404
Shay Apr 2018
I am a phoenix who has risen from the ashes of torment and remained strong and brave in every aspect,
and I have known profound darkness, yet still I shine like the sun, and its warmth I project.

I am scarred and fragmented but my heart is whole and I still see the world not as it is, but as it should be,
and I am no longer held down by the chains I was once entangled in; instead I am free, happy and who I want to be.
Apr 2018 · 580
Shay Apr 2018
Today, I finally breathed and set myself free
from all the torment and debris you left for me;
you no longer have power, for I’ve taken my power back,
and I’m finding myself again and putting my life back on track.
Apr 2018 · 609
Shay Apr 2018
Your fingertips run along every inch of my skin,
evoking a kind of fiery passion from within;
close enough to feel the warmth of your breath and hear the sound of your gasp,
as our bodies entwine in desire and I am held within your grasp.
Apr 2018 · 1.3k
Shay Apr 2018
You are poison running through my veins,
you’ve locked me up in your destructive chains;
all I am is a canvas to you and your paintbrush is a fist,
painting me in blasts of red, blue and purple – causing pain, you cannot resist.
Apr 2018 · 319
Shay Apr 2018
I wish I could sleep forever;
for my dreams are gentle and kind and sever
the nightmare reality brings, and the agony it does endeavour.
Apr 2018 · 400
Shay Apr 2018
My heart is ablaze with the raging fire you started within my chest,
burning me from the inside out, leaving nothing but debris and decay as it manifests.
It's causing pain and desolation with every single heartbeat;
for your venomous spite is murdering me well - and I must admit defeat.
Mar 2018 · 488
Candlelit Sadness
Shay Mar 2018
We light the flame; a golden teardrop radiating the warmth we so desperately want to feel from you,
but you were taken from us too early; you grew your angel wings and flew.

The candle has become the memorial we remember you by because you're high up in the sky;
it provides the bright light that was extinguished when we lost you and had to say goodbye.
Mar 2018 · 519
Shay Mar 2018
I crave you as though you’re a drug I’m addicted to,
and when I get a fix, adrenaline pumps through my veins, like it’s long overdue;
you intoxicate my soul to new levels every time you are around me,
the fierce love and fiery fervour you emanate sets me free.
Mar 2018 · 408
Suffered Loss
Shay Mar 2018
Yesterday I ran into the bathroom and dropped onto the floor,
crying out “please make it stop” as the blood began to pour;
my stupid body had let me down once again,
it took you away in a whirlwind of blood and pain.
Forget the colours blue and pink and who you would’ve been,
for all that’s left now is the colour red that cannot be unseen.
Now I am blanketed by only grief and sorrow,
knowing that my love wasn’t enough to keep you living through each and every ‘tomorrow’.
Mar 2018 · 549
Shay Mar 2018
We lay down on the grass, with one another we’re entwined
and my eyes look up at the midnight skies to where the stars are aligned;
but you only have eyes for me, and say the brightest stars are to be found in my eyes,
and the most beautiful constellations run through my veins rather than through the sky.
Mar 2018 · 259
The Power of Love
Shay Mar 2018
The power of love is a force to be reckoned with; one that cannot be defined,
something that is created between two souls when the stars have aligned.
Your home becomes a person full of love, warmth and protection,
and they become your medicine healing you with their deep affection.
Mar 2018 · 240
Shay Mar 2018
She’s going insane,
she can’t take the pain-
She’s searching for the sunshine but all she can find is the rain.
Mar 2018 · 877
Losing Battle
Shay Mar 2018
She’s no longer a person but a number on the scale,
driven by her inner voice’s need for her to become “dainty” and frail -
starving  and purging all in a bid to succeed and never fail,
but by giving in to “Ana” she simply cannot prevail.
Feb 2018 · 418
Shay Feb 2018
This insidious slithering being
rises inside of me guaranteeing
to extinguish the light that was once inside
and leave a hole where my soul no longer resides.
Jan 2018 · 540
Shay Jan 2018
Our marriage is less about the rings and ink on paper
and more about the unity between two souls that will never taper,
and two hearts that beat as though one,
bound together by a connection that can't be outdone.

Our love is the beautiful warmth of the morning sun blazing,
and the burning inferno of passion within us rising.
Togetherness, to us, means peace, happiness and love that feels like home,
bringing colour to each other's lives in a world that was once so monochrome.
Aug 2017 · 1.2k
Shay Aug 2017
The burning liquor slides down the back of her throat
as euphoria sweeps over her like an antidote
for the despair within her very soul -
and now she’s no longer in control.
She doesn’t drink because she likes the taste
but to forget every single trauma she has faced.
Jul 2017 · 1.1k
Shay Jul 2017
And by starving and purging my body - driven by a need to be thin,
I only end up feeding and giving life to the demons within
that haunt my mind and crawl beneath my skin.
Jul 2017 · 808
"Sugar and Spice"
Shay Jul 2017
She's not made of sugar and spice
or everything nice.
She's made of blood stained dresses
and matted, unkempt long tresses,
skin tattooed with markings made with a blade
and a body and mind that have decayed.
All alone in a raging war against her own being,
she has a distorted view of the world she's seeing;
thinking that the world is a better place without her in it,
she's mutilating every part of herself bit by bit.
Jul 2017 · 624
Shay Jul 2017
His lips, soft like the inside of a rose,
meet mine as the fire within my soul grows -
and suddenly the world stops spinning and time has come to a standstill;
there is only he and I in this moment along with love, lust and thrill.
His fingertips lace my skin, caressing my body
and fireworks explode within every part of me.
*He is the colour in my world so monochrome –
and being with him in every moment feels like home.
Jul 2017 · 736
Shay Jul 2017
Her eyes used to shine so bright
until the world extinguished her light;
now she’s given up the hopeless fight
and lies beneath the earth, sleeping tight.
Jul 2017 · 867
Desolate Civil War
Shay Jul 2017
Another morning where the sun hasn't shined and her world is grey,
and her soul is tired and she can't think of a reason to stay;
instead she carves her skin with a thin thread of metal,
slicing words of malice on her thighs while it stings like a nettle.
Another hour of lying collapsed on the bathroom floor,
she's given in to the voices once more
and purged her body of everything within;
so full of hatred of the body she is in.
She began this civil war in hopes of maintaining control,
but in the end she's been consumed by the demons in her soul.
Jul 2017 · 647
Shay Jul 2017
He wants to disappear
the way that sugar dissolves in tea;
just enough to be unseen but have his presence felt,
enough to end the pain others were too blind to see.
Jun 2017 · 778
Shay Jun 2017
you’re a force to be reckoned with – a hurricane;
atypically full of love and passion instead of hate and disdain.
in a whirlwind, you ****** me in and wrapped your arms around me
protecting me from everything that’s ever broken my soul into debris.
Your love is a protection I never thought I'd receive;
trapped in every fibre on my being; now in love, I believe.
May 2017 · 866
Shay May 2017
You treat me as though I am glass that might crack or snap;
overprotecting me and encasing me in bubble wrap –
you’re concerned I will fall apart so easily and become tattered
but you cannot break what is already torn and shattered.
May 2017 · 1.2k
Shay May 2017
The bravest thing I’ve ever achieved in my twenty-one years
is mastering the art of staying alive despite many disasters and tears;
I got myself through abuse, bullying and **** with no-one by my side
and, with time, battled my own mind and saved myself from suicide.
May 2017 · 1.4k
Shay May 2017
My heart is so tired of being in pain,
it tries to stop beating – an effort that’s in vain,
so I am left, once again, barely surviving
instead of feeling alive and truly thriving.
May 2017 · 1.4k
Dark Days
Shay May 2017
How much easier it would have been
if I had not been born but left unknown and unseen,
for I have known only tragedy and despair
and now I'm broken beyond repair.
May 2017 · 1.1k
Shay May 2017
The fiery blaze that burns within me
rises up like a scorching lava spree
ready to spill out of every inch of my skin;
triggering a kind of destruction to begin.
May 2017 · 1.3k
Shattered Porcelain
Shay May 2017
She’s a beautiful but fragmented china doll quite mystifying,
with torn wrists that bleed and bloodshot eyes that won’t stop crying -
questioning her sanity and at war with her mind,
she’s consumed by the despair that keeps her confined.
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