Do you actually have to have a reason to **** yourself? Why do you have to explain your reasons? What if you have none? Why would I tell you if I wanted to **** my self.

    Y o u   w o u l d   s t o p   m e

I am a campfire cold hearts like to sit around and roast their marshmallows in.

We should be together, we shouldn't be acting like this. I blame it on the New Year's Eve kiss.
We were supposed to hang out today, but you went away when I mentioned the New Year's Eve kiss.
We are not dating, this I know, but we aren't just friends either, don't you know? Your making a huge huff about this its just a New Year's Eve kiss.
You're at your house and I'm at mine trying to keep myself from crying. I want this New Year's Eve kiss.

Hot tears and bad thoughts
Dark room and bright clocks
Soaked pillow and stuffy nose
Pitch black through the window
Can't breathe, I'm alone.
Please! This doesn't feel like home!
Sad suicidal scenarios in my head
Wish they were my life instead

Some dogs are big
Some dogs are small
Some dogs love to dig
Some dogs prefer their ball
Some dogs fight
Some dogs attack
Some dogs some dogs bite
Others have your back

Dear Brain, what the **** were you thinking?!

Sincerely, Heart

Tonight was the night you said
The words I've repeated in my head
Tonight my heart dropped
Exploded like a balloon popped
No fixing this injury
Why the hell didn't you listen to me!
I told you to stop, that the words really hurt
You said everything forgetting that I still love you to the moon back to earth.
I couldn't keep it in, at 2:13
Blood rolled down my arm,
Looking like a **** ****** scene

Trying to write when your high is like throwing rocks into a lake and trying to remember what shape and color they were and how far you threw them.

Her hair messy, plastered over her face by tears.
Her eyes red and puffy.
Her mouth open and screaming.
Her voice raw with pain.
Her throat dry and on fire.
Her arms feel anchored to her sides.
Her knuckles are ****** and swollen.
Her heart and her mind are bleeding with hope.
Her stomach feels like a can that's been crushed.
Her legs--think they're still there, she can't feel them.

The morning I don't wake up,
Is the day you need to see
that you need to be brave
you never needed me.
Wipe those green eyes, the ones I came to know
I will always love you
please except I had to go.
Carry on your life I'll always be there watching as your dreams come true

I'm scared you'll run away If I tell you what is wrong
You can not promise you will stay
There's a pattern and I'm starting to catch on
You see, you'll act like you care
Everyone always does
But when you are needed you won't ever be there
So I turn to my drinks to feel that familiar buzz.

I'm not good enough I know this.
I mess up every chance i accidentally get.
  I hurt my body but get in trouble from others.
   I barely see my son
    I cant keep people in my life.
     I want to reset my life.

She picked herself up and built her walls higher than ever before. But she added a door. A door that will either save her or **** her. Her heart is scared to trust but her gut is to confused to say anything. She is terrified but Inlove.

These three useless words
bang against my teeth,
guarded by my lips they want to be released;

I once swallowed my thoughts to keep them inside,
But it seems my naïve heart has kept them alive.

I'm scared they might escape with every passing smile. I need you and want you to be mine.

When I'm alone I shake, I push people away and I hide from the world because I'm afraid I'm going to brake.

When I'm alone I think. I think so much that when I try to remember what I was originally thinking about I can't.

When I'm alone I don't let anyone talk to me. Then I hate myself for being such a burden to them. Why am I like this? Talk to me.

When I'm alone I can't take a shower. Because that involves moving. Doing something I don't want to do.

When I'm alone for too long I shut down. I turn off my iPod so you can't talk to me. I turn off my tv. I turn off my lights as if that will turn off my brain and I lay there. Not moving. Not thinking. No emotion just.... Laying in the pitch black, a corpse that breathes.

When I'm alone it's like going through withdrawal. Doctor says therapy but I say I like being happy. It's worth the pain.

When I'm with you I forget about this. I'm happy, I'm laughing and talking. I am addicted to you. You are my drug.

Reading through the poems
They all seem awfully sad
Everyone sounds so blue
Why does life seem so bad?

My beautiful people, take a step back.
Breathe in, clear your thoughts,
Now focus and get back on track

Stop building up walls
And start building some doors.
Life is to short to stall,
stop accepting what your given and start asking for more.

Getting high with me is always a game of chance.

Will I be happy? Laugh and dance around with out a care in the world? Be fun to hang around and talk to maybe?

Will I be worried? Start thinking of all the things I’ve said and done wrong years ago.
Start to think that you only do things because you have to not because you want to.


Maybe, I will be sad and hate myself and apologize to whom ever is around me at the time and then apologize even more for apologizing in the first place.

Will I get angry and start crying and yelling at you for no reason and then flat out ask why you are yelling at me?

Maybe.. possibly.. I do not know. It’s always a game of chance.