Kiss me
As if
you are drowning
And your only
source of oxygen
Is my lips

Kiss me
As if
You want to know
how you taste
On my lips

Kiss me
As if
i am the
Only girl here
For you;
The only one you see

Kiss me
As if
you are a
wilting flower
And i'm the
first drop of rain

Kiss me
As if
my lips
Taste like freedom
And you have been a prisoner
Of the world's ways all your life

Kiss me
Like that is all
You have ever known
As if
You find yourself
Only when you get lost in me

Kiss me
And let the words Flow from
My lips to yours
And weave themselves
into poetry;
a poetry only we can feel

Kiss me
as if you are dying
and your only way
to salvation
is me

*He Kissed me
As if
Trying to tell me
How beautiful He thinks i'm
Without having
To utter A single alphabet

I may hate you more tomorrow , but i'll never love you less
for you're the one person i can always count on , you're simply the best
and everyone who knows us predicted we won't last a sec
it's like we're the opposite end
of a spectrum, yet a single entity
violating the norms of this hypocritical society
simple,yet so intriguing *

And girl , we go on so well together
like bread and butter
like milkshake and cookies
YOU'RE THE MELODY..TO MY LYRICS
and God only knows,
the inspiration behind how many songs!
the ones i've lost
and also the ones i carry in my heart

And without *Nancy(my bestie) , where would Aditi(me) be?
without you ...well that just can't be

you're always sure of somethings,
like the sun will always rise, that's the way you make me feel
you're probably the only thing ..that drags me to the boring premises of dav{my school} (also the fact that 75%attendance is required but you get the idea)

and looking at you , and looking at me ..
and looking at the ****
and crazy stuffs we do and we did
i wonder how effortless it is
how the kind of girl i'm ..everything looks scary to me
but you just make it better somehow ,without even doing a thing
and sometimes, i get this blurry pic of you and I
we're close to being 75**
silver hair , wrinkled cheeks
sitting on a park bench,eating(that's her aka my bestie's favorite thing..eating)
talking about the same old senseless thing
and looking at each other with contempt
and say
"hey ,we made it to the end♥ "

I love him
And he loves me
This is not where the story begins
but where it ends
And it's killig me
It's really killing me
That how even with all the time we bought
forever did not last as long as we thought

All i want to do
is curl around him
get lost in him
breathe him
in and out
feel my taste
on his lips
cling to him
and just stay like that
infinitely
with him, more felt better
a bit more closer
with him, more always felt less
and i could not help
but crave for more and more

8PM :
" I'm sad 'cause she will never love him the way you do "
Yes, she won't. No one will

Does she know
that dawn is your favorite time of day
how it embarks a new beginning
and *how both light and dark
exist together
complementing each other's beauty
just like..you and me

does she know
that you wake up in the middle of night
gasping for air
you had dreamt of a giant hole
swallowing all that you loved
it's a childhood fear
you could never get over
it might not make sense to the reader
but it.. he makes perfect sense to me


Does she know
that you miss your grandad
and how it kills you
that you share your birthdate
with his

Does she know that wherever you went
you never felt belonged
so you escaped and found your peace
in nature..that's how you feel healed

does she know
that she haunts you every night
till i came around and loved him enough
for both of us

Would she care
to write a poem about you
an hour before exam

i know she soes not
i know she would not
And i could have said this and many more
but all my lips muttered was
"She'll love you in ways i never did"
No, she won't. She does not even know you.

Yesterday 2pm
you quoted some author
"I wonder how many of us
don't get the the person we want
but end up with the one we are supposed to be"
i nodded
and ran away crying
'cause deep down
i thought you're the one i was supposed to be with
that you and I were meant to be"

02pm :
he told her how he felt
i don't know how he did not hear my bones crack
and my insides burn out
and the blood in my veins evaporate
or maybe he did not care?
.
.
.
.
.
.
time slowed down
nothing mattered
.
.
.
mobile beeps.
your message
she needs time
.
.
.
.I asked you how much time she needs
(how much moments before i lose you? the guy who always there whenever i pictured myself in future will become nothing but a memory)
you said point?I told her i am not moving on. She has a lifetime to decide. And if afterlife exists then even that.
.
.
.
.
everything blacked out
i could feel my empty heart being forced to beat.
.
.
.
i don't know how to continue this
i just had to write this because i no longer wanted these feelings inside of me
endangering the life they possess.
.
.
(looks back at the beginning)
I love him,
he loved me
but the story ended
on a tragic
note
because
I'm a Hindu
And he's a Muslim

the way your scars make a constellation of your pain,
they tell a story your lips will never accept

It was not good
No, that does not make it bad.
You would find no date marked
On my calendar
Or a goal set
It was what it was
Nothing more than that
A thoughtless act of letting go
And I had finally done something well.

There were no midnight epiphanies
No, the sun still shone the same
The world was still its own paradise
We all were burning in our own flames
Nothing had changed,
Yet nothing remained the same-
Cause of
A thoughtless act of letting go
And I had done it with grace.

I had the day planned,
I had written about it to an extent
The words lost their meaning,
The pages went deaf.
It came ever so suddenly
Like the first drop of rain
From a single lonely cloud
On a sunny day.
Yes, I did not think about it
I just decided to begin again-in another place
Just like that.

It was not selfish
It was not necessarily brave
Hope
You don't exaggerate it
To something it never meant.
It was just her
Letting go of the world
That no longer made any sense
She cut all her ties-
The final act of letting go
And she had done it so well.

you creep into my mind,and possess every thought i have.
And it is not like waves anymore, it is always constant

they say
he must be lucky
the guy who gets to have me
and i just look in your eyes
and see the hell i have put you through
they fell in love w my words
but i wonder do they know
that this is not beautiful
all these words may make depression look pretty
but it is not
it is not easy to be w a girl
who wants to crawl into the tiniest space of you
and make her home there
it is not easy to be with a girl
who makes you her air
it is not easy to see her
cringe at her own reflection
it is not easy to love her
when all she has is hatred for her self
it is not easy to look at her
when you read her poems about how she wants to peel off her skin
till nothing of her remains
it is easy to say
he must be a lucky guy
lemme assure you
he is not
im not blushing cheeks and perfect smiles
Im not about classy looks and vintage dresses
im like the storm and the only way i know how to show my love is to destroy
it is not easy to talk to her
when she replies in proses and riddles
it is not easy to hold her
when one moment she is warm and cuddlable
and the next she is spitting fire
it is not easy to tolerate her
when one small mistake and
it has already been
carved as a poem
it is not easy to survive her intense gaze
it is not easy to look back into her eyes
when she is looking at you w too much emotions contained in her eyes
too strong for you to take
she is everything
or nothing
or both
at the same time
she is every shade of every color
simulataneously
Ill overwhelm you
or i can make you question your own existence
cause i dont know any other way
to love
than to make you my all
and to be your all
ill love you w a passion
you have never seen before
but can your feeble heart
take it?
do you think
your calculated actions and diplomatic decisions
will help you then?
you may be fooled by my smile
and my gentle voice in which i talk to you
but there is a lot to me
than what meets your eyes
there will always be more to me
than you ll know
and you may think it is easy to love me
but it is not
you are a dreamer, you are in love with the idea of me
while you remain oblivious of
all the stories behind the words i have not yet written
and the words you ll never see.
It is effortless to fall in love with a poem
but being with a poet is a totally different thing
don't you now agree?

It is hard to see,
To tell myself,
You still are the guy
Who made my world better
Just by existing in it
One look at me, and
you would know
The exact words to say

I can tell it by your ways
That you find it hard to remember
The reasons why your
reasonings were swept away
And I became
The only exception,
The one to hold
The key to your heart

See,
Now I'm holding this white flag
I'm putting my weapons down
Can you see
The girl you used to be in love with?
Because I can see it clearly
You still are that guy
I would love to get lost with

Tell me,
How did things go so wrong
You won't even look at me
Without feeling a shame
I used to be your grace
What happened?

I'm sorry for all those times
I shoved you away
With those rude words
I put our relationship on a display
But I did not know any better way
To stop myself from loving you

So my mind had to do
Everything in its power
To keep a leash on my heart
Which kept crawling back to you

And in the process
I lost my best friend
I want it back
Will you let him
Come to me?
I miss him, so badly

I hope by now you have noticed
This world is far too cruel
Masks and treachery at every step
And I can't help but reminisce
about the good times
We were each other's safe haven

Our paths crossed,
Then we separated
And I was too bitter
Because you were the only thing
I wanted so badly to stay

I see it now,
So better and clearly
We still are the people
We fell in love with
Even though,
There is no romantic love here anymore
I hope,
For ever and more
We will be each other's best friend

There is something to be learnt from
the trees that let go
Of autumn leaves so silently: no grudges, no scorn
It is nature's way of telling
Parting is the price we all have to pay for love.

There is something to be learnt from
The leaves that hit the ground
After being held so high
It Is nature's way of telling us
It has never been about the fall
But how gracefully we do it

There is something to be learnt from
The empty sky at twilight
How it bleeds every time the sun leaves
Yet it tries to find solace in those thousand little suns
There is always something to be grateful about.

how do you get rid
                   of the nightmares you get
                          with open eyes

I have seen heroes take shelter in darkness, and villains smirk in light
Angels lose their Godly touch
And demons flourishing in their eyes.

If this was a bollywood movie
You'd wait for me
And my road would lead me to yours
Eventually.

If this was a bollywood movie
We would have made silent promises
It's either us
Or we are forever on our own

If this was a bollywood movie
My poems would not remain unread
If this was a bollywood movie
Our story would not end like that

If this was a bollywood movie
You would shift the world
Just to see me.
If this was a bollywood movie
You would lift me off my feet
And not simply ....
Go and beg another girl
To love you.


But
This is not a bollywood movie
Just a sad poem
That will never be finished
Cause the poet
Found a better
Subject to muse over.

2 am
Knows all about us-
The love that was once lost
And how we found it
Just to lose it all over again.

I wonder what people think
When they read my poems
Do they think I'm just another
Case of unrequited love?
Oh, I am definitely not.

I just read this story
Of a girl who loved a guy so much
She turned into a bird
And sang such sad songs
The guy's bride heart broke and she died

2am
Knows all about my conspirational plans
I make with the stars
How what should be mine, what I love
I mean to ****** away from this world

This is
Not a poem about unrequited love
But distance
And the society that smirks upon
The lovers sighing in solitude

I just read this story
About this girl
How she loved a guy
Who did not love her back and
how that killed her bit by bit every moment

2m knows
How I wish I was in her situation
I could have loved him
And loved him and loved him
until I did not

But the guy I love
Is right now crying himself to sleep
Because he finally found love
But not where he expected it to be
Miles away, away from his reach

His love is true, her love is ever growing
But like every star crossed lovers
They have an inevitable tragic ending
But there is so much art in
an ending like this

2am
knows how the empty side of my bed whispers his name
"Close your eyes darling, in your dreams
I'll always be yours, forever and more"

And I was falling,
So fast
Reducing constantly
To become nothing

And I was barely breathing
A heart forced to beat
Eyes bloodshot
But you could not see

And you were blinded
From the self-despair and pity
A heart
Torn and stomped all over

And you were shaking
From the tremors
only You could feel
But I could not steady your hands

I was waiting for you to save me,
I forgot magic only happens when you least expect it
You were waiting for me to notice
You forgot I was too caught up fighting my own battles

You were bitter
Over the times I had let you go
You forgot
I loved you w every ounce of my being
I was broken
Over the times you did not care enough
I forgot
You are a human with your own limits

And so we fell apart
In the most common ways
We forgot what we had
Because we were too busy grieving what the other person lacked

And now that the end is near
I see where we went wrong
I loved you and you loved me
But love
is almost never enough

And I got my wish
With my last breath I took your name
The earth shook,the sky turned black,
This is my last farewell
I'll never see you again

Hold me
Like I'm the most fragile thing
You have touched
One breath
And I'll shatter
And I'm all
That is keeping you alive


Hold me
As if
The whole world has turned into a dark, cold ball
And I'm the only lamp light
You must save from the breeze


Hold me as if
You are the  hurricane
Leaving a path of wreckage behind
And I'm the only thing
You intended to keep
In one-piece

Hold me as if
Stars are oozing out of me
From where I should be bleeding
And you try to find the exit hole
But you get fascinated by my stars instead
And you stand there
Perplexed and mesmerized equally

He held me,
As if I was the last flower blooming
In his garden
Salty and hence, infertile
From the tears all the other wilting flowers had cried

You seem like the stars in the sky,
the moon of the night
the first drop of rain,
the antidote to my pain.

It could have bled forever,but you stepped in,
breathing life into those far off dreams;
starlit eyes, i had not foreseen
just like fresh air ,when i was drowning.
not a desire,but a necessity.

You were my need, I was your want,
Baby, I expected a turnaround
And all my nights were spent
in vain hope of your replies that never came
I loved you with a red flame
your condescending behavior turned it into ashes.

Maybe I was a foolish dreamer, maybe you were supposed to be just a daydream,
but maybe I hoped I would be the one...
.but I became one of the ones

not every story has an end
and i loved you enough to walk away.
i could not make you love me when we were together
maybe my absence'll make you appreciate my love a li'l better.

And I could have wait forever, but it seems in vain,
one and one makes two, but one looks the other way,
and it could have gone forever, and maybe we were meant to be,
but goodbye is now, all I see.

so for now all words have been said.
this is my final farewell.
come ,let the two of us be strangers again.

My heart is broken , mind is dead
soul is lost and so is innocence
And Now,it's just too late ,
I can't be saved

I don't know why , confused about how as well
things got this messed up , and now it's too late
the train is gone and i'm left ,
with these memories and regrets

sadness flies away on the wings of time
but the tears in her eyes are like tides
as they stream down her face the storm rages
silent but devastating every trace of life

The brown of your eyes
Became my favorite shade
A familiar place
But I'm no longer the one they behold
So goodbye to them

Those pink lips that you have got
Perfectly shaped
Complimenting your light skin so well
But I'm no longer the name they seek
So goodbye to them

The heart beats fluttering so fast
Sweet lullaby
Keeping the nightmares away
But I'm no longer the sight they dance at
So goodbye to them

The long fingers of your hand
Intertwined with mine
Made the strangers stares seem less hostile
But I'm no longer the person they reach out to
So goodbye to them

The warm smiles of yours
Imprinted on my mind
Spreading across my face
But I'm no longer the reason behind it
So good bye to them



I wish
We had met up in sky
Far from the boundaries of this world
I would be yours, you would be mine
Our shadows merging into one

But

Now I have learnt
There is a bridge too large,
A boundary too long
For either of us to bridge
So I'll love you from a far

With an intensity of
Million burning stars
Much more than she is ever capable of
But nothing can change the fact
I'll never be with you.

It is strange how you were drowning and he was the one who needed space

It is strange how he cut you open and you apologised for having bled

It is strange how he broke you and held a grudge against you for falling apart

It is strange how you took 99 steps and he stumbled on one

It is strange how he never had the time to read the poems you left in his mail

It is strange how you could have had the world but you kept settling for less.

Yes, it is strange
how love makes you the person you never thought you would become.

Collapsing under its own gravity,
The sun dies a little every day.
Every morning is a reminder,
Of its resilience,
Every night a tale of its loss.

A star shines brightest,
The more closer to death it gets,
Every constellation is a reminder,
that art wears melancholy the best.

Leaning in for a kiss,
The moon creates ripples in the sea's heart
Always reaching out, but never touching,
Every full moon is a reminder,
That it's possible to find contentment
While still longing.

You are the only antidote to the pain you caused
But like everything that could save me
You just ended up tearing me out
And i was hoping you would come
before there was nothing left to fix
And you came
but i was already gone
now this shell of the girl i used to be
remains to remind you of what you have lost

You were the only escape i had to these tragedies
that laid scattered all around me
but like everything that could have helped me
you were a bit too out of my reach
And i was hoping you'd take a step to bridge the gap
maybe you did
but it was a bit too late
i was already in too deep
to ever surface again

You had the touch that could keep me from falling
a million suns in your soul that could unfreeze me
but like every hope, you chose to forsake me
And i kept hoping and praying you'd see
how The cold kept burning the life out of me
maybe you would have, maybe you did
but life had already left me
never to come to me
again

Effortless it used to be,
now it's a constant strain
You used to be on the same page with me
now i wonder if we are even a part of the same story?

How rude of days and nights to pass completely oblivious of our pain
How audacious of me to think it was you who the stars  told me about

Closest you used to be,
now there is always an unseen barrier in between
I used to be your home once
But now I'm just a noose you cant free yourself from

How rude of me to say "it's been a tough day" for a year now
How thoughtful of you to pretend it's not because of the sweet nothings you have been feeding me

A day dream turned to reality, you were
Now i realised some things can only be loved from a far
I used to wish your hands never leave mine
But now i just wish you happiness, no matter who you choose to share it with

**How rude of stars to be so out of my reach
How tragic of our story that they are closer to me than you'll ever be.

The kind of restlessness that does not bring you sleep
The kind of love that weighs your heart down, leave you to sink
The kind of tears that never dry, flowing abandoned and endlessly
The kind of hurt that spreads throughout your body, leaving you crippled
The kind of smile that always fails to touch your eyes
The kind of time you always keep running out of
The kind of life that kills you slowly

Do your  parents wonder, why you take time to open your door?
How you cannot wash their dead daughter's blood off your bedsheet
Go tell them how she bled to death for someone who would not even look her way or do anything to prevent it lest his hands get bloodied

Do they ever wonder why there is no mirror in your room,
or notice how you cringe at the sight of your reflection as if you've seen a ghost And how that is the case exactly?
Go tell them how your own shadow scares the wit out of you,
as if it is mocking you and soon will reveal your dark secrets to them.

Do they ever wonder why you have so little photographs of you?
Go tell them your face reminds you how you turned into everything you said, You would not when you were a kid; how you are just a pile of unsaid goodbyes, abandoned building, shattered dreams stitched up together by skin you dont feel comfortable in.

Do they wonder, why your hands are often on your ears as if you are trying to block some loud music only you can hear
Go tell them how his words keep replaying in your mind.. how he told you so many "truths" that you no longer know which version to believe in

Do they ever wonder why you have no friend or why you keep staring at the wall and yet your eyes appear to be seeing right through everything?
Go tell them you are looking at his eyes turning colder by minute, till you don't recognise who he is; that he has seared goodbye in a place inside you so deep that you send your friends in love,  packing bags long before they plan to leave.

Do they ever notice how you cringe when they attempt to hold your hand or hug you?
go tell them how all the times you were let go still echo through your skin,
how you always acted like a filler? how every one you loved had their eyes set on their destiny and you were always traffic

do they ever wonder, why you always seem more restless at night? Or, how they never find you asleep?
Go tell them how the future that you could have had but did not haunts you every night, How you think you have enough time but then you blink and suddenly you are all out of it and you ask Him for 5 more minutes but he just shakes his head.

this world is way beyond you and me,
oh silly, how silly, I had always been


Grieving in misery,
I forgot to see the reality,
A vessel in transition,
That is who we are
We take and we give,
Nothing is permanently ours.

A dot in the infinity,
a speck of dust in a galaxy,
an echo in the noisy surrounding,
a ripple in a grand sea.

Oh silly, how silly I had been,
The world is way beyond you and me.

The midnight hours
Know all about
my muffled screams,
My bloodshot eyes and
swollen lips,
The sleep that chooses
To evade me.

The midnight hours
Know more about me
than you ever will.

The midnight hours
Know about
the heartaches and cravings
While I lay awake
My ears intent upon hearing
The silent song
the sky sings To the earth

Oh, yes, the midnight hours
know more about me
than you ever will

The midnight hours
Watch silently
As I take off my facade
And try to untangle
my woes Vainly,
The clock ticking
In the background


The midnight hours
know more about me
than you ever will

The midnight hours
Feel the invisible pile
Of failed attempts
weigh me down on my chest,
wondering how many more
Before I suffocate
To an early, unremarkable death

Oh yes, the midnight hours
know more about me
than you ever will.


The midnight hours,
Bid farewell,
Leaving so softly,
Their eyes foreseeing
The dark future of mine-
Darker than
any shade they bring

**The midnight hours
know more about me
Than you ever will

Dear
the gost of his love,
You keep
haunting,
taunting
and reminding me
of
your love
and
what could have been

I see your face
in the crowd,
in every guy
who ever smiles at me
it's you.
Please stop.
You know
I loved you so
Not a single shooting star
exists
that was not wasted upon you
but now
my 11:11 wish is
for the clock to
stop ticking
and use its arms to
strangle me instead
So that I could
finally be free.
Free
from having
all my energy
spent on
trying to keep my **** together
in a vain attempt to
keep  myself
from falling apart
to pieces
in front of everyone
why don't you understand?
I love you
I love you
I love you
My heart beats with this rhyme
I love you more than i have ever loved aNYTHing
The pictures that you sent
still live in my phone
and the wind keeps whispering your name
and i have stopped looking a t the night sky
two bright stars reminded me of your eyes once
and
i see you in everything-
the first drop of rain,
a child's laughter
a tree's shelter on a summer day
I never wanted to let you go
but i had to
it was between you and him-
one who gave me life
and you
who became my life
and i owe you both
and i love you both
but he needs me a little more than you do
and so i chose Dad
but i love you.
I just could not burn their dreams
And use that as a light
That would guide
Me to you
I just could not break their hearts
To keep mine in one piece
No,
I could not break my old house
So that i could make a new with you.
And so i decided to loosened the grip
But it was you who walked away!
I knew you had
But don't blame me for what happened
i still hold on to you,
i clinged to your memories
like a drowning person
clings to a rope
thrown to him
And holding on to you hurts
so please set me free
please.

I wake up at the twilight
and sleep at the dawn
Time has ceased to mean anything to me at all
A new day comes and off it goes
Like the waves fill and empty the shore
ohh, but I am waiting for the day when it'll be all over


I have not given up,but i give in
I have not died yet,but i forbade myself to live.
I don't allow my mind to wander to the things of past and future
MY HEART IS LONG DEAD,NOW IT JUST PUMPS THE BLOOD ;)


I am the kind of mystery you'll regret to solve
(i am the mystery you'll never be able to solve)
THE CLOSER YOU TRY TO COME,THE MORE YOU'LL FIND THE DISTANCE IN BETWEEN


So.heed my warning.GO AWAY.
Why waste you time over a LIVING CORPSE,A HOPELESS CASE!

A part of me wants you gone
A part of me wants you to take me back home
A part of me has died a long time Ago
A Part of me LIVES ..AND THE REASON IS YOU

A part of me knows that life is a road I have to walk alone
A part of me wants you to stay by my side and prove the other part wrong
A part of me is the part I never show
The part which is FALLING FOR YOU

But there is a part so cold
Colder than the snow that falls
On january 4
The part you ignite ,
The part who melts every time you smile
And say
"GURL , I AM HERE TO STAY
FOREVER AND ALWAYS"

Dark Circles beneath her eyes
The fire in those eyes
now replaced by sadness
of knowing too much
Of trying too hard
.
.
the more she saw,
the less she knew
the more she tried,
the less things worked
She kept *restlessly brooding
why the world is so raNdom
and what if the littlest thing that she did
made it fall apart?
.
.
tick-tock
(Restless brooding)
A girl of 17
never felt safe in her own skin
She comes in all the shades of self-loathing

(Restless brooding)
Living a life of mediocrity
Good, but never the best
not worth the change in your pocket.

(Restless brooding)
Centre of the group,
her smile was just that contagious
Chased by many, understood by none
Always loved mystery,
maybe that's why she became one

(Restless brooding)
Red is the color of rust that calms her
Jagged cut across her thighs
She comes with a self-destruct button and hence pushes away the very thing she likes
she wants to decrease the casualities

(Restless brooding)
Sleep won't come easily to her
so she writes and reads
that's pretty much her life
by the window she cries
for the characters whose brokeness resembles her life
but if you ask her why
she'll evade vaguely

(Restless brooding)
She increases the volume of her headphones
to mute the voices in her head
voices which try to drag her to the past
a past she'll never get rid of

(Restless brooding)
with every second that passes by
she pushes the world a little more far away
but she always smiles
so that must mean she's okay, right?

Dark circle beaneath her eyes
because *she spends her night
talking to the stars
and conspiring with the moon
against the demons she herself has created
trying to find the key
to the lock she has chained around herself

And one day she will
one day she will realise
*her light can't be contained
and those dim eyes will shine again
One day she will not be afraid of being herself
even if she does not know who she is yet

My Epitaph
I wonder how it'll go
or, who'll write it ,
I don't know
But I want you to be there,
when they bury me in the cold ground,
Alone and forsaken
Aloof from your world
A world I could never be a part of
A world parallel to mine
And so I would want you there,
for one *last time
but not with your family or wife
Just the two of us ..like old times
"Just the two of us"man , how come you made a corpse cry?
And I don't know about afterlife
as this is the first time I'll die
pardon my illogical line ,
I did it for a smile
I wish we could die together ,
and have you there by my side
and go through eternity side by side
or be born again ..and be able to make you mine this time
but for now, this world needs your pure soul , and warm smile
so just promise me this ..you won't abandon my grave? (like you abandoned my life)
and visit me ,at least once or twice..or maybe not as you've your own life
(and a family and a wife)
but if you do visit , i hope my epitaph makes you smile
as it'll go like this
"still yours...
here lies the girl who never moved on like you did*"

Let this night
Bury in itself
All the evidences
Of what happened

Let the wind
Absorb in itself
The screams
No soul heard

Let this floor
Be cleared
Of the innocence
That was taken away

Let these walls
Be painted a new shade
To silence them
so they never tell the tale

Let the incidence
Be turned into twisted politics
A step sideways, and two backward
Never evolving

Let the world
Be dumb and deaf
To the injustice
Done

Let the candles
Be lit in her memoir
And watch them wax
As the news get old

Let the case be placed
Under a big pile of dusty, unsolved files and say*
We did our best

I find the glass to be half empty,
He finds the glass half filled,
It's the same thing,
Except it is not literally,

Each one of us forgets, conveniently
That the glass can be refilled
Just as easily as it can be drained empty

And it's up to us
But we are too busy clanking the empty glasses together
Till they shatter,
Or, try to drown ourselves,
When they overflow.


I take a step in,
He repeats,
We both try to co exist in a way,
That neither of us are actually leaning,
Both trying to be friends,
With strangers' acceptance of how one is
I like to chatter, he wears a cloak of silence,
Except there's not much difference between either.

And it's up to us,
But we are too busy screaming to override the unwelcome words,
Or try to dance our imagination on the tune of silence,
Away from the cruel intentions, camouflaged with soft words
Except there's not much difference between either,
We both are shaped by our hurt, and undone by happiness.

I find the life to be a continuation of misery,
Add in some whining and self deprecating poems
Different faces, worn by the same ghosts
Different paths, same dead ends
Pursuit of ever evasive happiness,
Life is never changing.
You think every thing changes,
It's just me who is always going to look the same
To you at least

And it's up to us,
Whether we remain the same or not,
To grow up and grow apart,
Or to Shrink in and fade away
Except I look around,
And I know for you, it's always me
And you look back
And know I'm the one who has always been there

I find the glass half empty,
You find it half filled,
It's the same thing
Except it's not literally.

Have you ever thought
Why your heart continues to beat
With all its pieces
Breaking farther
As the time grows

Have you ever thought
Why you still find it beautiful
To look at those starry skies
Every night
Through misty eyes

Have you ever thought
Why our palm has not yet
Lost its sensation
Even after holding on to things
Long gone and dead

Have you ever thought
Why do you never run out of oxygen
Even when sometimes you feel
The atmosphere closing in
on you

Call it fate
Karma, God's will Or simply hope,
You have to keep reminding yourself
The best is yet to come,
And you are far from being done.

Love me through all these uncertainties,
Love me all the way,
Till I find everything I loved in you,
In myself.

I'll love you, when it's inconvenient,
I'll love you when it's you I most hate,
Till the love wins over the raging hatred,
And in your embrace, I stand.

Love me like the sun does not care whom it burns,
Love me through the envious glares,
You'll find me next to you shining, not shadowed by your brilliance.

I'll love you when clouds surround you,
I'll love you through the rain,
I'll be your unwavering faith when you need it,
I'll hold you when you get tired of the weights you shoulder, all this heaviness.

Love me in all the realities,
Both yours and mine.
Love me in our ever clashing worlds,
Till you find the similarities.
Love me when all I'm is flaws and skin, tightly held together.

Because
I have loved you beyond the scope of futilities,
I have loved you beyond the words,
I have loved you through the striking thunderstorms,
And I'll love you when it's quiet and dull.

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything".


Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of First and Amistad


Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me


In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me


Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me


Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all I want


Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me

I'm not weak, i just feel alot.
I'm not probing, i just observe a lot.
*I'm not a poet, i'm just a broken soul.

You
Either leave
Or
Stay long enough
To
See "him" turn into
A stranger.

Oh,
boy,
I guess
I looked into your
Soul
For too long
To ever go
Back to being
"Just friends"

You
Either leave
Or
Stay long enough
To feel
Yourself fading
from "his"thoughts
Just like how
Dews evaporate
Once they see
The sun.

Oh,
Boy,
I was nothing
But a voice in your head.
And now that I've been replaced,
I wonder how long
Till i cease to be

You
either leave
Or
Stay too long
To witness
his eyes go blank
To watch him
See right through you.

Oh
Boy,
You were long gone
Even when you were
holding my hand
I knew you were
Wandering far away

You
Either leave
Or
stay long enough
To
Watch him leave.*

Oh,
Boy,
But I'm
Still holding on to you
Long after
You have let go.*

[Nothing good stays. I could never leave, so i guess that makes sense]

I dont want you to write me poetry
I can do that for both of us

I dont want you to compare my eyes to sunset
Or, my mind to some sea of undiscovered depth
I just want you to see me for who im-
Dully ordinary in all my deeds

I dont want you to be breathtakingly handsome
We could be too cute for two ugly people

I dont want you to speak all those fancy big words
And get me a bouqet of rose every night
Just be there with me, be my light, when all i see is in shades of blacknwhite
And on the brightest day, tolerate my lights if i outshine you

I don't want you to understand each action of mine; to decode every word
Just promise not to give up on trying; never give up on me

I dont want you to fix me
Just be patient with me while i glue back all that is left from my last heartbreak
I might run in opp. Direction at your approach
But ill always find my way back to you

I don't want you to give me forevers and mouthful of nevers
Time is a ****, as we both know*

If you can and if you may,
Just love me in this very moment
Cause forever is nothing but all these moments stitched together

I dont't want you to tell me you love me
But please, just do love me

How can I be so needy,
Yet evasive
How can I be so stubborn
Yet submissive

How do I find the things untouchable,
So alluring
How do the things I have
Have dust settled upon themselves

How can I love so passionately
And overwhelm them with one quick gaze
How can I be so cold, and devoid of feelings
Like oblivion was carved out of my chest

How do I walk miles,
For people who won't take a step for me,
How do I make a shell out of people who want to help,
And leave when I see summer coming

How could we be so bruised
And yet pay no attention to others' bruising
How can we hurt others so bad in the process of hurting

A thousand way to love
A thousand people to fall in love with
I chose the one that was most unlikely
i chose the one that, i knew in the end, will destroy me

A thousand pretty girls
A thousand you could have easily had
but it was me who chose you
and it was me who loved you back

A thousand roads
A thousand options
not a single one
that will lead me to you

A thousand pain
A thousand reasons to give up
Love has limits
heart know nothing of

A thousand tears
A thousanf relieves
I have got them all
but without you, I have nothing

**A thousand star-crossed-lovers writing
a thousand poems in this moment
One of them is me,
my muse being you, always

The girl in the mirror

Who is she?
The girl in the mirror,
I don't recognise her anymore,
Sometimes she looks at the distance,
Her ghostly looks
Send through me a shiver,
Her lips move
But I can't hear a word she utters

And then she zeroes in on me again
Her eyes go vacant,
Her  face goes grave
And I realise
She is no longer there,
Just a ghost
A shadow
Of who she once was
Still haunting
The body she used to dwell in

A heart
Forced to beat.
Who stole the light in those eyes?
Her face looks familiar,
Yet so estranged.

I take a step towards her,
She does too.
I move my hand,
And she follows
The realisation came,
The girl In the mirror,
Is no one else
But myself.
Dark circles,
Creating a contrast against her pale skin
It is so hard to look
At the jagged cuts all across her thighs.
Who would ever be gentle
Across her jagged cuts?
Who would pull her up,
From the midnight thoughts she has been sinking in
Farther and farther?
Who else,
If not she, herself?

She is the anchor
Weighing her wings down,
But she also has the power of wind
That won't be bound.
She is sunshine and darkness both,
In her own world
And she must and she will learn
How to balance the colors
To create a perfect picture


So tonight is the time
To fall in love with the girl in the mirror
Oh yes,
The girl in the mirror
Found herself,
The girl in thr mirror
Stopped looking for help.

she realised
Perfection is perceptional
And not itself perfect.

Beware of her,
For you have not seen her best yet.
One day she will show the world the
Art she carries within herself.

You're the muse behind my every song
You're what connects this body to its soul
The darkest of nights find its dawn in you
You are the eye of the most ferocious storm

Oh, love i think it's time
Oh, love, won't you be mine?
Oh, love, can't you just see
I want the world to see you be with me

You're the goosebumps i get in the middle of the night
You're what the stars have been telling me about
The shyest of flowers bloom at your touch
You are the hope that keeps the fragile thread  by which my sanity hangs from breaking apart

Oh love, I think it's time
Oh, love won't you be mine
Oh, love, can't you just see
I want the world to see you be with me

You are the brokeness that heals itself
You are the words that i have been looking for all along
The most endurable concrete cracks and sprouts where you walk
You are the love that only results from a great deal of suffering

Oh love, I think i it's time
Oh, love won't you be mine
Oh, love, can't you just see
I want the world to see you be with me

You could not help but fall for her
Despite warnings from every cell of your brain
You could not contain
Your curiosity
How could someone be
Different shades of different emotions
At the same time
How could someone go
From being the blazing sun
To a violent storm
In the blink of an eye
And that was the trouble with her
You could not tell the next thing she does
And there were many with a prettier face than her
And a few with soul more tender
But none that could stir
A single emotion
While
One look from her
Caused ripples in your soul
The longing she developed
Became insatiable
Cause she was not the caresses and soft kisses sort
She would make sure you meant
Every compliment you uttered
Before she accepted them
She would ask why
You loved her
Instead of saying I love you too
She was never just simply pretty
You know the kind you put on your shelves
For a show
She was not just one element
but the whole package
Something you had never witnessed before
She had fire
Her  feelings weaved silent poetry
All around her
And everyone who saw her could see that
Everyone but herself
Her thoughts were too loud
-loud enough to make the deaf-toned world hear them
She was reckless personified
Descending towards nothing
And you would gladly go down with her
If it only gave you  few more moments to have her look into your eyes
Black eyes
Not seeing at you
But through you
Making you unravel yourself
She could not be bound to a place
She was the wind
that ruffles your hair
caresses your skin
and sweeps your tears off your cheeks
and fly away
just like that
leaving you fixated
on that spot
waiting for her to hit you again
but she is already gone
You never wanted to love her
Yet here you are
Loving her anyway.