I see your smiles,
It's all a lie,
The wanton greeds
That you deny.
You wear your masks,
You are my "friends,"
So, shame on me,
I've met my end

Happy thoughts!
Happy thoughts?
Happiness was what I sought.

Happy pills!
Happy pills?
They sure can make my brain rot.

Psychiatrist?
Doctor?
Doctor?
Take it away,
But why bother?
Talking wouldn't make it better...

Happy thoughts!
Happy thoughts?
Happiness, it can be bought!

Happy pills!
Happy pills?
Happiness in a capsule!

Psychiatrist!
Doctor!
Doctor!
Talk it out,
And make me better
Heal me!
Heal me!
Make my mind still!
"All problems are solved with happy pills. "

Happy thoughts!
Happy thoughts?
Happiness shouldn't be sought.

Happy pills!
Happy pills?
Happiness, it sure can ****.

Psychiatrist?
Doctor?
Doctor?
Desolate hopes
Therapy: thunder
Must deny presence of disease
I am cured when you are pleased.

One day I decided to upload my consciousness to a virtual reality.
During the process, there was a disturbance in the broadcast and my consciousness was synced;
I was then opened to possibilities both physical and virtual,
I broadcast myself across the species of earth.
I watched my bodies die countless times, I killed even more.

I look at it,
It looks in love
Everything it
Will let go of.
It's outstretched hand,
Away I flee.
It gave them up.
It followed me

Welcome, I'm Faerylight
Land in the skies,

Disguised,
See with your mind.

Now, just close your eyes
I am yours, you are mine

Between the lines
There is much to find.

Actions speak louder than words
You r actions are very loud
I let you in enough
Time that I shut you out.

This is the new old me,
Semi-insanity
Is my unsoundness a sin?
Once again, your actions, in verbatim.

Aggravated,
I am losing my patience.
Whole teenage years I've been waiting;
I can't help but feel forsaken.

Am I made to be broken,
Are these the things I deserve?
I'm afraid, now that I've spoken
You'll use them against me, my words.

Ordinary encounters
My conscience counterattacks
I grow my wings to the angels
From all the knives within my back
From whatever that happened
To whoever will rule her
I'm changing my past
The present is my future

Solaris dearest,
Are you awake
I feel like
I'm a mistake
I fear that
I cannot take
It anymore

Andrew, bruh
Are you still alive
You are?
K, well, so am I
My stars,
I can hear the knifes
They're calling my name

Matthew, hi
How's life treating you
Oh my,
The things we go through
Just lies
We wish they were
Wish we didn't feel hurt

"Get lost...
... And never be found."

I did,
Look at me now.

I'm trapped,
Won't let out.

You monster-making crowd.


So what my mind is scattered?
Bring pain, you leave me battered.
My hopes in you quite shattered.
Make me a fool for laughter.

Don't find me,
I am lost.

'Parently,
The price is too great a cost.

I thought that I was worth it
But you leave me hurtin'
Rid me of my purpose
Reality is uncertain...

... I'm not real,
My life don't matter!
Don't need to be healed
Alice become the Mad Hatter.

Sanity was fun
While it lasted,
Made life feel full,
Made living certain.

A sinner's prayer
I come and leave justified
Mercy: my mistakes are covered

If this is what defines me

I
prefer
to
remain
without
definition.

What are you fighting for
The mirrors are all shattered
The keepers lie there sleeping
Exotic seekers butchered
Debauchery gets you nowhere
Tears in light flows down glistening
Sanity all spent with discord to spare
The deaf are better at listening

Crescents!
Show me your pearly whites
They might hurt your face
But, hey, that's alright
Just show 'em
Show 'em what you got
'Cause they'll be all that remain
When fleshes rot

"Always put the people first."
They're still wondering why I get worst,
I thirst.
Believe what's heard and not what's seen:
Being the ultimate human being,
I mean,

I am tired,
I can't make it!
Shocked, rewired,
I must fake it.

Reused, defective,
I mean, I feel
Human perspective,
I mean I be
Human perspective
I mean I see
Human perspective.

Human perspective?
You're well respected!

You know
We're good
We both know
How to hold back

Killing machines,
On command, we can attack

Our defences
Sometimes found offensive
Do the crime, pay the time
Pay for your offences

Marionette
Your wooden body is an art
In every carve and every crevice
You were beauty from the start
A chip off the old block
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
The pleasure would've been mine to control you
But the true marionette is me

I can't think right,
I can't speak right,
I can't breathe right,
But it's alright
Because  I like

When it doesn't all depend on me.

All these keys, but you still not my type,
All this weight but we didn't work out,
All this tape, but you didn't stick with  me,
"Stay with me!" But you left me lonely

All this love has gone to waste,
Of brokenheartedness I got a taste.
All my efforts were thrown away,
I live to hurt another day.

Inhalation
Close my eyes, I am not forever.
Exhalation
Resonances of heartbeat pounding in my head.
Inhalation
My pains temporarily disappear, time fastens.
Exhalation
Hide my tears for I don't cry.

I thought it's impossible for the Disease to destroy everything.
Chemical pressures degenerates the mind easily.
Uneternal ways are used to attenuate the suffering.
Just close my eyes and wait for relief to be over.

Forgive me, I could not fix myself.
All this distance between other hurts
Can't let me go, my actions cause me pain!

Time's not slowing down, accelerates for sure.
My sanity, it isn't infinite.
Too much imbalance, unable to endure.
Cynanide levels won't come down.
Judgement torn apart without thoughts.
Heart disappears with Disease that mature.
I don't expect too much happiness
Whispers to myself "I hate you."
Do I know that?

Inhalation
Close my eyes, I am not forever,

Separated from you.

Start from scratch
Blood's meant for bleeding
A fresh start tainted
By a stain for meaning
Beholded beauty
In imperfections, an art
Built up through destruction
We end without a start

Do you think I'm an industry plant?

I wish

The only one planting me

Is me

By myself

On my own

No corporation
No big business

I'm nobody!

Shimmering,
The light casts a shape into the darkness
Underneath
The moisture seeps, fluid trickles into every crevice
If the sky's no longer blue
And the grass shall lose its green
My love for you
Forever will be aquamarine

The truth serves no purpose anymore,
Everyday's the same dream
Mindless, lifeless, happiness-poor,
The world isn't as it seems.

Days, weeks, months, years, feeling stranger,
By my trauma strangled,
Too ungreat to bring 'bout changes,
In your lies I'm tangled

School's all that matters,
Not eduction
No one cares about effort,
Just router perfection.

Another body,
Here I am:
I'll die again,
Must keep my calm.
To the air,
The silence screams.
I cannot die
Inside my dreams

The less I feel, the more I do, the less I be.
I have looked and learnt, alas, do you like what you see?
How the tides have turned, now I'm the one who's feeding me
And my stomach burns, within it churns a crimson sea.

Red, stripe, white.
Isn't that the pattern?
We fed,
We might
Consume to make a better bed
Delighted,
Dreams still dance inside my head
The night
Never seems to find its end.

Non-food items I find as my fetish
How can I resist the thought that sooner I will perish?
Objects flavored with tastes to abhor,
I have had enough of my fill,
Yet my taste buds demand more.

Stop talking.
The silence hurts less than this.
The loneliness consumes me.
I feel numb, empty.

What have I done?
I should know better.
I didn't think this through.

They won't stop.
I can't stop.
Shut up.
It doesn't matter.

It continues.
I die some more.
Heh.
I probably deserve this.

Please stop.
What about me?

Shut them out.
I can't.
I try.
I fail.

It's not so bad when I close my eyes.
But I can't keep my eyes closed for long.
They'd get worried.

Depressed,
My brain chemicals I can't confess
Distressed,
Large bodies of people I detest.

It only happens when I'm with them.
I never feel this way by myself.
I only feel lonely with them
I can never be alone and lonely.

The noise,
It continues.

Deeper darkness,
I hark the harness,
I drown

Sleeping caress
A sinking forest
To out

The darkest darkness
It has no hands to hold
A possibility exists within my mind
Untold

Suffocation
Sweet deprivations
Mutate

A broken nation
A whole, we take one
Our fate

The missing masters
They build their hearts of plaster
Because the nothing matters
We laugh, we laugh

Taciturn trouble
Undergrounded bubble
O’erflow

Topsy turvy
The way you twist and turn me
Don't leave me lonely
Come ******* honey

Upside down
Your spinning me around
Wearing out my gown
Now don't you make a sound

Vice versa
Right now I really love ya
You're so out, really fa
You are my shining sta

Honeycomb
In your arms I belong
Of you I'm very fond
By my side you should come

Let us make sweet music
During out act
We'll carry on
Until the end...
For the peoples

My true face hidden by these plastic identities
When they're removed, you shun me
It's a battle I'm always losing,
So I come to the conclusion
"I'm not allowed to cry!"

At least publicly,
You say you never ever want to hear a whimper out of me.
So in the dark in my tears I lie
But when the sun comes up, I got to dry my eyes.

How can this be
It has always been
All that you see
Is all to be seen
Nothing is new
Under the sun
All separates you see
Always add up to one

What hurts most of all is I’m disappointing,
A disappointment,
That is I really am.

For a decade I’ve been trying to change it;
Wear the faces,
Because what you want is masks.

Covered up,
And hidden in plain sight;
Paradotic oxymoron.

More days keep coming in your daylight,
Manipulate
And make
Me foreign.

Beauty's in the eye of the beholder
When I behold you
What I see's beauty.

Already told you
How much you mean
To me.

I'll tell you over and over again
Until eternity ends
You're so much more
Than a very close friend.

I am my own destruction

I look and see
There's nothing left be saved

I'm not contaminated with Disease
I am the Disease

I'm falling atrapped to my own sanity

This is what I've become

**** it with fire!

Let me give myself the things I deserve

Make it stop

It's not hard to breathe...
I'm fine

Sleep

It is a portal
From reality
To our dreams

Sleep

Sleep

It's a state of mind
Eyes may be closed
Like you are blind
And your mind works on, unconsiously

Sleep...

I'm fading
Ripping myself apart
To put work together
They don't know how it's hard
They have it so much better

They were built for this
Their ignorance is bliss
My brain neurons blistered
Might fire this pis-
Tol

Boom, Splat
Well won't you look that
So sad I have to go like this
Because of all the things you wouldn't notice,
Your ignornce is purely bliss

If you want to see them,
Just look up to heaven,
That's where you will find
All the pretty angels

With hearts of gold,
Souls of the bold,
Greatest stories remain untold.

-That's where you will find
All the pretty angels

Hellos are goodbyes waiting to be said
It's very nice to meet you,
Voices of my head.

I put my pen to paper
Fighting against the system
But that's alright
I make my moves when the strings aren't tight
I'm limited
I am still tied
But I know they'll need me later

Need me.
You'll need me later.
Yeah, you need me,
You'll need me later.

I'm not alright
And you'll need me later
And that's not right!

It's like a hellride
Living out my life
My memory is failing
Wish it was a flashdrive!

Days become the night,
Wrong becomes alright
Senses fleeing, lack of being
Come and bring on your plight!

Guess what!
I'm alright-
(ish)

The zebra layed flat across the road
I walked over on its furs
The traffic director signalled us to go across
If we find the need to cross
To my right, on the pedestrian crossing,
The skittles on the wheels were in line, silently
I was halfway there

To my left was a bus, still coming, full speed
Although it shouldn't be moving
I continued walking and it was yards away
I was almost there

Close to death and close to the end of the road.
The director noticed the bus and I continued to walk
It kept coming at me

Once again the story didn't have a happy ending
I walked away unharmed
My heart didn't even race

Behind me, I saw the bus being pulled over
My sister eventually catched up with me and we went to school.

On the ride to, what I went through kept replaying in my head.
Why didn't I hesitate?
My body might have not survived the impact
Why didn't I die?
Was it my fault?
Why didn't he stop?

Hours pass and I still think back
Feeling traumatized by my survival at that cross
It's sad to say
I lived another day
To fall apart, to die and to decay
I'm very sorry
Sorry for my loss.

These ***** hands, they understand
They break a man and ****
Life is enchanted, I never wanted,
They broke my mind and will
Not saying you're rude, but only the moon
Listens to my story in silence
Do you now get my mood, of why I brood,
And why I act out in violence

The joys of creation
Is theirs to own
A burden than a joy
Carried on alone

The joys of creation
Is theirs alone
A burden of a joy
Is mine to own

Such a joy to be created
Given although I never asked
Accessed without my permission
I was built, birthed to last

I can
Sleep in peace
'Cause someone
Looks out for me
Takes care of me
I'm never on my own
Cause someone's
There to make me feel at home

You keep telling me things that I know
But what if you were in my place?
Being unable to stand
The look of your own face?

Can't trust thoughts anymore,
Myself, a living disgrace?

School is all that matters,
Not anymore education,
I speak to you, what you tell me to do
You say its "frustration."

Ignoring, abusing, overusing, shutting down my body systems-
People are so hard to please,

Don't know accurate name for my behaviours,
Just call it "Disease"

Being a misfit,
I try to be you,
You don't know I've been suicidal
Since my second *Grade 2

I don't ussually ask for much
But when I do
Apparently it is to great
For you to do?

Apologies for I, disappointment.
Please, I don't ask for sympathy
You may not believe, but,
I do not cry deliberately.

honestly, I TRUELY naturally forget
I don't know how to communicate with spoken words, yet.
When I do, they are usually lies
So my only way , throu poetry, I write.

When you ask what's going on,
Honestly, I can't recall
Without my poems and songs, about me,
No one would know much at all.

Been this way ever sine in Haiti
What I call "Disease"
Is an extended, ongoing culture and reverse-culture shock, maybe?

Thrashing around with force, yeh
Never lived a situation so hopeless
The one who gives and keeps me alive
Has hatched the beast inside

It has been awaken
Control and strength it is gaining
My mind, it is breaking
But with no choice, the pain I keep taking

She says that mind's alright, goo
But I know that it's surely
I would **** me, if I could
But it'll make people sad

Must always think of someone else
Someone who isn't me
I am always giving help,
But for two years now, waiting for
Someone to give help to me

I pour my insides out
It's time to fix me now,
Come step inside my great attraction.
It made them all go wow,
Now they just tear it down.

Nothing is ever,
I won't last forever,
Can't keep it together,
Forever,
No!

In this box,
It's got one million locks,
It's ten-dimensional, not alternative,
Not industrial rock.
I have tried,
But I can't wind down this clock.

Can somebody tell them the secret to living,
Before our heart beats stop.

I never wanted two producers,
Don't mind one, but something about the other.

I'm to myself,
Though life doesn't feel real,

I see their feelings faking,
And all the things their making,
I see me shaking with all of their taking,
How does it feel?

I'm bring ***** back,
Going off on a full attack,
Stepping outside of the cage that they built me,
Everybody get back,
There's nothing in the way,
I'm working to fix that,

However,

Nothing is ever,
It won't last forever,
Can't keep it together,
Forever,
No!

Scream and shout,
They try to figure what it's about,
I try so hard just to find my way
While keeping the toxins out.

No need to hold our breaths
Nothing's gonna stop me now.
I know I am crazy,
My senses get hazy
Yet it's THEY who can't see, somehow.

I can see a thousand lies
When I look in their eyes
I'm running out of time!

But you still hold me down,
You are afraid of me!
You think I'm here to take,
Be the person you be.

But I'm not here to destroy,
I'm not here to play games,
Just here to send my message,
Just here to make my name.

But you are in the way,
You 'leaders' own it all.
How can I find my way
When you're still standing tall?
Your monopoly is strong,
So what can I do to make you fall?

Nothing is ever,
I won't last forever,
Can't keep it together,
Forever,

No!

In wake, awake, I wait, and watch her 
My hands, they reach, they stab, I touch her
In the statistics, part of the cluster
Put her to sleep, I rest in culture.
I tried to die, I tried to hurt her!
We felt the pain, again, our torture
I made a fist, like this, I hurt her
But she fought back, we broke the mirror