Things of the past
I must let go
Else my pain will last
Must it be so?
Turn away
That's not for you
Why keep the old hurts
When there's joy afresh, new

In wake, awake, I wait, and watch her 
My hands, they reach, they stab, I touch her
In the statistics, part of the cluster
Put her to sleep, I rest in culture.
I tried to die, I tried to hurt her!
We felt the pain, again, our torture
I made a fist, like this, I hurt her
But she fought back, we broke the mirror

I am not that broken
Untreated, but I will be fine
I'm scared now I've spoken
You won't again come and be mine

You had to cut the strings
You have made me unsound
You're the reason I sing
My dopamine won't go down

Education isn't as easy
Like those days that you remained with me
They think I act this, can't help I'm a misfit
Read between the lines, are my actions that cryptic?

For years I've ignored the pain and hurt
I cry for help but it has never worked
I'm a mechanical malfunction put among them, humanity
I don't know for how long I can stand their profanity.

Much sleep, yet unrested
Making my last confessions
Naked layers of aggression,
Beneath the skin it festers.

Say to you that I'm alright.
Loathe you don't see me most nights,
Loathe that I'm me that's not right,
Loathe that I'm NOT A NORMAL CHILD!

I can't stay LONGER,
Wish I was STRONGER,
It's not about me,
It's for you.

I cannot make it,
Sacrifice for you,
Loathe your reactions,
Loathe how you'll react to..
That which you won't accept,
That which is very true.

Dogs eat dogs
And dogs eat cats
Cats eat cheese
And same for rats.
Omnivore, carnivore,
Whoever we be
We shape our tools
And our tools shape we

Why don't I speak anymore?
Make me weak to the core
I just hope that you feel stronger

Blind to the bleak, oh my poor
Carcas reeks, from the sores
I have made to make me hurt longer

Blasphemy
Avert your eyes, I plead, but
Not for me
I dare not burden you with my existence
Even though you me to,
Even though you want me

I am the all and only that I don't see
But you want me

I looked in the mirror
And what did I see?
I saw a human staring right back at me:

Bright eyes, wide smile
On nothing go miles
Well-learnt from situations
I am my inspiration

Independent and strong
Easy to talk,
Easy to get along

Caring, kind,
Beautiful and beyond my years wise.

In the Silence
There is Darkness
More hidden beneath the Seams

In the Silence
They think they know
But things aren't like they seem.

When it's Quiet,
Thoughts come alive
Abandoned Reality.

When it's Quiet,
I'm occupied
My mind working busily.

Hush now, close your eyes
Lie now, Rest now, Sleep now, Dream now, do not Weep now,
To be understanded, I hear your cry.

When we are Hushed,
By Silence, crushed
Realized Immortality

When we are Hushed,
Hear falling Dust
We are not perfect human beings.

Here you go again,
Bringing me down
It's like you live to see me crumble

Say you are my friend
Poison my crown,
Shock me and leave my brain scrambled.

SO WHAT, I'M NOT NOT RIGHT?
I'm never gonna heal if you keep acting like this
NO BUTS, MAYBES, MIGHTS
You have all the resources, but you sure don't act like it,

So you...

Waiting for a reaction, save me
Won't you?

Ignorance would not give satisfaction,
It won't do.

Just like me,
Don't you care for me?
Where could you be be?

Consumed by the fear,
I really wish,
Wish you were here.

I see your smile,
It's all a lie,
The wanton greed
That you deny.
You wear your masks,
You are my "friends,"
So, shame on me:
I've met my end

As the water touches my skin, I begin to wash away all of my, my layers.
The part of me I didn't want the world to see now can be even more, even more, more clear,
I'm no longer an old-time movie, you can see all of my, all of my true colours,
The clothes I wear couldn't change my identity, the tags didn't even say '!!!BUYER BEWARE!!!'

From the heart
Giving what's there, what's true
I lose them all
So that I'll gain you
Your ears always tuned in
For my call
Genuine worship
I give you my all

Cleansing before creation
A cycled called out in song
How am I, well, all is well
Except for all the wrong

That was fun...
...While it lasted:
Left me speechless;
Flabbergasted.
Life was the best...
...Everlasting.

Now my home is
A glass casket.
Now my home is
my glass casket.

I suppose as long as you embrace the death of your sanity,
It never truly dies.

Sometimes I wonder
If I'm stupid,

Cause I can't act like the others,
Just can't do it.

I tried to be normal for a time,
Efforts didn't show one bit.

I put my all my heart into my writing
As a result, am I left heartless?

It seems like a lifetime ago
That I loved the gold sunshine glow.
No, it doesn't reach down below

Shadows become my light
Here where my monsters hide

Normal is just a dream
For all of those like me

I hate my mortal bones
Bones and organs work in my skin
My heart forever cold
A cold and psychotic ending?
I'm going down so far
Fall further 'til there's nothing left
I'm kept here in the dark,
The dark
I sing to forget

This is my penitentiary
Broken apart from the world
Where I wanted to be

Locked the door
Threw away the key
And let my songs resume
Enclosed in a pitch black room

Come listen to me
as my song plays
Now, listen to me,
Stuck on replay.

They aren't tears...
...Just my heart bleeding...

...They aren't scars...
...Just...
...My disease resurfacing...

...That's not self-hate...

...

...So what if I'm suicidal?

You won't get far with denial.

I lay me down
I can't lay low
I have to tell
I have to show
There more to life
Find him that's giving
Humble yourselves
And keep on living

Abstract extracts have no story to tell
I have no feelings and art don't sell
A familiar emptiness; hunger, that I know too well
How can I be in the valley, if I never fell?

We're pretty much the same,
Divided across an axis
An object and its image with no name

Well, that's for
Another and more
Her ways
Should be ignored
What are we people for?

I feel so empty,
My esteem's sore
That knife looks delicious
My nervous system begs no more.
Isolated,
I am the one who's different
Desolate
This chapter feels so hopeless

The dagger, the knife,
The arrow, three-pronged hook,
The tweezer, the electrical current.

Sledgehammer, blood clot,
The scalpel,

Am I able
To handle
Any more pain?

The pain, the pain.
Hurt by hallucinations,
What can I gain?
Eternal damnation?
It strikes over and over again.

How much more must I bear
Of pain that’s not really there?

What cause have I to feel glad?
I've built my life on judgement and feeling pain.
I don't know those eyes I see in the bloodstained chrome.

Now everything that I've had
and everything I've known have been thrown away.
And with time I've come to find this isn't my home.
I've stoked the fire, seen more pain that you can know.
The tears of the broken have washed away my soul.
Pushed by their desire to change the way my stream will flow,
Disease awoken, and it's taking back control.
I try my best to ignore my screams,
They keep haunting me in my dreams.

Please break my shackles?
I want it to stop?

I man this wretched machine.
Day in, day out, the grinding wears on my brain.
Undermining my sanity,
Making me question what's "reality."
"Life" is not as it seems.
Should I take a chance of freedom or throw it all down the drain?
I've been imprisoned,
Please burn my transgressions away?

I'm sick of hurting, sick of thinking it's all I do.
Broken by those around me, spared very few.
The bright moon is burning, and my thoughts are ever blue.
Darkness surround me, am I becoming a part of you?

Between the seams,
Are scary dreams.

I'd like to be...

...Eventually...

Able to roam
Around so free

I have secrets
Inside of me.

Can you discover why I'm even here,
Can't you feel,
I think our end is near
But are sure you really want to know?
So little of me and such a long way to-

-Go-

-Away
To you, I say.
You think you know
It all, hurray!

But, no, you don't,
Not even close,
There's one last piece
Of the puzzle to go.

...I know...
...You can't...
...Resist...
...The temptation...
...Inside my chest...

The quietness prevails.
I'm trapped in, but want out of this jail.
Emotions or illusions?
Assumption or conclusion?
I am trying to focus;
My sanity, it doesn't hold up.
Remember what they told us:
Shut up, silence is golden

Fate not good at humor thing,
Smile of mine looks like a grin-
What am I? Why did I happen?
What did I do wrong?

Wish of death from inner voice
This is ever be my choice?
All that I can do now
Is to sing my songs

My 'gold' eternity: endless fear,
The pain of memories that disappear
Finites fail at trying to warn me
But I'm not lonely here.

Wisdom finite? Little child?
Away from me, separate miles,
Avoid contact with these hands
Can take you to the Spirit Realm.

We can live in Cyanide Castle
World of pains and of much tassels
I cannot trust me
Is my life a lie?

They say I'm so-called "smarter" than my peers,
Very wise, compared to those my years,
I'm afraid I know too much fear
I'm forced to keep me quiet

Landed in a trap, falling forever
I don't know what I am and what did I do wrong?
But someway, I swear, I'll put me back together
But all I can do for now is to sing my lament songs.

Really want me to be a kind of silence
My ways to ahieve can be very self-violence
No one hears me
I don't need 'reality'
Find comfort in this "stage."

All that you see
These poems, they're my autobibliographies
Sometimes temporary change.

Telling you my many stories
Don't know why but I'm really sorry
Rules dictates me that I shouldn't
Raise a riot

They just won't let me go
Your tears, don't cry, think on my "shows"
I'm afraid I know too much, I fear
I'm forced to keep me quiet


Please?
Don't hold it against me,
I don't want to scar your judgement
We don't know all that I've been through?

"Than fail to try,
Better to try and fail."
Death challenged my life,
But my life prevailed
It's a pain to live,
But it'll hurt them if I die
They tell me to give my all,
But why should I try

I'm a puppet cutting the strings;
Can't work for you, I'm too tired.

Circuit, light source of outdated version;
Need rewire

Snowman in your freezer,
Trying to keep your present from the past,

Can't let it go, how can you?
When I won't last.

I am such an angel,
But my wings can't carry both our weight any more.

I need some silence,
Your voices are hard to ignore.

Just giving you time.
You, a puzzle to put together.

Time has no mercy,
I am not forever.

You fall apart,
Sayings of you're fine!

Unbearable brittleness,
Of me, of mine.

You, robot:
No batteries, no power.

Skilled ninja,
Stuck in surroundings of lasers.

I am a good keeper,
But when I left, you locked your heart away,

Time doesn't permit me,
I couldn't stay.

The words of your mouth,
Not yours, but others,

Your apathy to this disturbing world,
You, unbothered.

Your trauma, with you, partners,
You who suffocate,

When others, you contact,
It has become too late.

You can be battery;
Others always drain.

Connection with strangers, online,
Make you feel like I'm here again.

Intelligence brought you here,
Different from education,

I see you like a filter paper,
Story censorization.

What is a friend?
One who might bend
In the storms of friendship
But never break
It may be more than one can take.
Some part of their life
May even be put at stake
But friends may bend,
But never break.

You opened my eyes when I was blind
You stayed by me from time to time.
It felt as if your mind would blow
It makes our friendship stronger grow.
I thought of it from time to time:
Thanks to you I'm no longer blind.
And in the end I eventually find
That you are a true friend of mine.

The thing about dead people
Is when they die, they never ask if I want to join!

Hurt people hurt people
So don't hurt people, hurt people
Else these hurt people would hurt people, too
Just like how hurt people hurt you.

Everyone is an industry plant

Everyone plants themself

There's nothing wrong with planting yourself in an industry

I wish I was one
I can be
I could be

Who cares?

The hardest diamonds
can be broken.

The mutest of tongues
cry out,
they've spoken.

The deafest of ears,
they hear
their tears.

The emotionally numb,
they still...
feel...
pain...

We
feel...
pain...

I
feel...
pain.


T­he hardest diamonds...
the living die out

But I wanna die now
There is no way out

to escape

You lie and lie me down
I'm not safe

Whatever it may be
It wouldn't last

Whatever it's made off,
Eventually, it'll be of the past