To some I was a blessing, to some I was a lesson.
I’ve dealt with my past traumas and manifested myself to the person I’ve wanted to be.
I’ve faltered and stumbled along my journey
But, this isn’t just for me.
This is a verse for Us.
The confused.
The misunderstood.
The hopeless lover.
The nay sayers and The not so fortunate.
Break boundaries with your grace.
**** rocks and put bricks in the hospital.
Protect the inevitable and pray for the hostile.
The less never fails and the more never rejoices.

They say Capricorns are fearless but also reckless.

We're fearless because we have this idea that the earth works on its own. What is to happen will.
Yet...
We are reckless when it comes to the heart. There's this visual of this perfect love that we seem to think is capable with every intimate soul we meet. When that is not the love we intend to require we drop everything and run.

Our sanity and peace of mind means more than others. Not to be absurd but we are disturbingly at peace with ourselves and that balance is to precious to be broken.

Because I don't think you understand, we are the constellation of determination yet ambition. We are magical yet a majestic sign. We dance like lilies and communicate like lovers at 2am. We are dangerous because we know the balance but simply don't care.
We can't wreck what was never there
We can't fear what we can't see

I always liked attention.
Intimate attention.
Acknowledge me attention.
Maybe I lacked self appreciation.
Maybe I lacked the attention.
I always liked you.
The not so funny you.
The save me you.
Maybe you lacked me.
Maybe you lacked attention.

Care so much, yet so little
Feel so much, yet so little
What do you feel?
The feeling of everyone and yourself at once left you drained.
Physically, Mentally and even Spiritually
If someway you could come out of your body and stare at yourself
What would you see?
Who would you be?
Maybe I should ask myself these questions.
But, honestly I wouldn't have an answer.
For you or me.
What does that make me?
Who does that make me?
I want so much, yet so little.
I love so much, yet so little
Maybe...
I should stop doing so much and do so little
Or do so little and yet so much

I told myself I liked peace
but the chaos is exhilarating.
I run from problems to let the animosity build.
I keep quiet to infuriate.
I plant myself in equations where my presence isn’t wanted.
Anger fuels the quiet
Words drench the flames

Lie with me as I feel the world on my shoulders
As I feel you in my mind and only in spirit
Lost between sea and land
We are coasting in paradise with the waves

She was fully clothed but they still found a way to
Sexualize her
Generalize her
And make her feel uncomfortable with every step she took

The constellations conceal what was once bright.
Everything once- thinkable has been taken away.
The sky consumes every animate object in sight.
The sun’s rays bring us back to life, only for the day.
Without the gas that shines so radiantly in the sky of the night.
What is life?
My pondering mind fills with haze.
Running to the sky to find what I once thought was consciousness.
The heavenly body that consumes me,
one day will be consumed by my eyes heavenly gaze.
                 Don’t stray my conscious mind
                 Don’t lose sight, for the sky knows all.

He was a smooth criminal.
Smooth to the touch, rough with the heart.
His body screamed thief in the way he walked, talked, and kissed.
His lips grazed mine.
He kissed me everything but gave me nothing.
He walked with the grace of Angel's.
Talked like he befriended God.
By the time I noticed he stole everything, he was gone.
My heart ached, my body cried, and my mind was in disbelief.
He took me and ran.

Daydreaming gives me joy, peace from the madness surrounding us.
I’d like to think there was hope.
Maybe there was joy in the way our world worked.
I daydream about the worst and that’s why it pains me to find joy in it.
I daydream I’m not chasing a dying age.
I daydream that maybe someday the words I tend to give you with this mind that often drifts gives you joy too.
I daydream I won’t be the only one daydreaming anymore.
And maybe. Maybe the world won’t seem so complex to a steady mind.

Someday I’ll savage my past and I won’t think someone loving me is a delicacy.
Someday I’ll realize I’m all I got.
Like on those days my lonely screams louder than your presence.
Like on that day I screamed for God to show me what he saw in me.
Like on this day where I wish you could’ve met me earlier.
You’d love that girl.
You’d love who she was.
But for now I’m all there is and the best it could ever get.

Beauty is present but the soul isn't.
You speak with golden specks on your tongue.
You walk with the grace of doves.
Your laugh is like the morning sun.
But yet you still fall short where love doesn't manage.
You quiver to the thought of happiness and cringe at the sight of laughter.
They all scream
"you're a diamond in the rough."
But what is jelewry when it's not sought after and what is art when it's admired by all but one?
You're aware of the power you carry, the beauty you conceal.
The weapons your heart bares and the pain running through your veins.
They painted you a mural but they failed to read the description -
" commended by all, tamed by none."

I like getting F’d up
Or maybe I’m just F’d up
I never thought about the simple things in life
I like when my mind roams
It’s like a field of blue roses with thorns that cut you by the glare
I never thought about the gentle things in life
I like when my toughness shows
It’s like a bee hive with thick honey
Guess who’s the Queen?

I apologize to my penetrated ****** for whom I rubbed and finger ****** to the comfort of others.

Why did you choose me?
My body surrenders to this fragile state
I am water compared to your silhouette, to your fire
I drip, slip and drown from the waves crashing over me
The ocean cannot contain gasoline because once lit the flames won't melt me they'll ignite me

I saw the way your expression would change when I would talk about a ****** act I’ve committed.

You wanted me pure
You wanted me whole

Hearing the ring in my ears when you’d speak of how many girls souls you’ve laid to rest.

How they were propped up and popped open.

I was next,
But something told me not to be another victim.

How he cut them open and dug them out like cantaloupes.

He dug into genesis and didn’t know he killed creation with every lick.

He committed genocide with no remorse
And wiped it off as satisfaction.

Once made of stone is now glitter
They hardened your reality
But your shine made them falter

She threw herself to the wolves like a piece of meat.
ready to be devoured but not quite ready to be everyone's lunch
see, she lost herself and respect went with it.
she went from the desired, to the unwanted, to the leftovers.
No one eats leftovers, it and she is like toxic waste.
The ones before got the better version.
The starved stuck around eager to feast on what's left.

You can't gain anything from winning and won’t receive anything from losing. When Life hands you Lemons, what's the point of making Lemonade if it's Bitter?
Your Buzzard luck speaks volumes.
Can't **** nothing and won't nothing die
When the world lies flat...
Bitter Is The New Sweet

-Life

Constant competition with your mind and body.
Giving a lick only to receive it 10x harder.
The sirens of you wale.
The louder they become the more unaware you become to the feeling.
It's not a fight anymore ... Just a beat down.

A bee notices nothing of the beauty the flower it tends.
It has not mended
What it can offer ... What it can bring
The life it can save or take
A flower notices everything of the bee that lands.

She wrapped herself in confidence and wore beauty like a ribbon. She is a present and the world is her eager child.

We were gold
We weren’t just regular art
We were a masterpiece
We made records with the way our words sung to one another
We were movie stars in our own film, Hollywood couldn’t contain us
We were myths and fairytales that no one believed in
Now we are just ordinary people,
More none believers

Ultimately, I love me more.
I'll no longer blame myself for my own disappointment. I'll cherish me more for the perseverance of me.

I always seem to place myself in your hands like a porcelain doll.
Ready to be placed on a wooden shelf.
But your hands always wither to the touch of my glass skin.
I am real to most but when it comes to you I am a rose petal ready to be plucked to see if you "like me, like me not"
But that shelf has become molded overtime and the cracks on my glass skin have begun to show.
Your hands are not my sanctuary anymore. You left me alone and on display except for when you needed me.
Except for when that curiosity in your mind said "grab her"
But she is not yours anymore
Her glass skin has become more human by the day. Until suddenly she stood by herself and walked away.
Ready to be her own sanctuary .

My mom once asked me what was I looking for.
Like a librarian on her best days with a book worm ready to be dug out.
A question I’ve asked myself endless times.
Though I couldn’t answer, she understood.
I am missing nothing
Neglected of nothing
But I kept searching for more in the form of lust.
Putting myself through an endless cycle and wondering why I kept cushioning  the ground.
Why must we seek pleasure to feel whole?
You lack nothing physical nor dimensional.
I can’t answer because I’m still writing my personal bible with empty verses.
I’m still learning how to communicate my souls language
I’m still learning how to listen to the strength of my hearts voice
And I’m still learning how to increase the volume on my brains soft whisper
Ask me again tomorrow....