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Tabitha Lee Sep 16
All I see around me is a happy family but I am not.

All those scars and bruises make me want to mask,
they make me want to run and hide.

All those thoughts in my head saying
"I am worth nothing, nothing at all."
I resist all the things that come afterwards,
The wounds, the scars, and the pills.

Everyone tells me that I must have a reason to be this way
A reason to bleed
A reason to want to die
By pills, pills and more pills.

These reasons to live
These reasons to die
I have to choose my way to go
to fight or to die.
Hey i dont actually feel like this right now but i did a this point and time. Risks and benifits seem to be equal for living or not. so yeah thanks for reading!!!
Tabitha Lee Aug 19
Pain.
One thing people don't want but get

The Heartache.
Because of you, I think that it is my fault that something happens

That's the truth

That is my pain I feel everyday behind every smile.
Hidden underneath my breath with every burst of laughter.

The pain has made love and myself a stranger to myself

The pain you feel because of everyone looking at you like you are not there.

The pain that you know only a few people can see you.

Love and Pain
Fear of Falling Apart Everyday
It is a big disaster.
This is me.
Hey!
This is a new series that is going to jump around in dates because im looking at past diary poems i've written
Thank you for reading
Cc Jun 4
I am vulnerable.

Like a budding flower, I try to open myself up to you

but my petals are fragile

though you are harmless to me while shut up

when I am opened, I am exposed.

And you are just the wind

you do not know your force,

your strength,

until all my petals and

my protection is gone.

I am afraid.

A child in the dark with a flickering candle.

But every touch of light belongs to you,

and in those moments where the light banishes the dark

I am brave.

I leap over the chasms that you carve into my heart

the rivers you trace over my skin

and though I drown in your lips

it is not air that I search for.

I am selfish.

Though I should try to protect you

my mind screams to be with you

steal you away

keep you even though...

Even though you may not be mine

forever.

I am lost.

I search for stable ground

but with you, there is no such thing

so as the ground disappears beneath us

and though we are vulnerable,

afraid,

brave,

selfish,

lost,

We fall together.
Sunshine May 9
Why does
Nobody
Understand?
Wait,
I know.
You are
Not
Me.
You were
Not
Formed
With the
Synopses
Of my
Heart,
Mind,
Soul.
You will
Never
Understand.
You will
Only
Push,
Pull,
Bitter,
Anger,
Control,
Seclude,
Dictate,
R­estrain
Me.
Or try
To.
Ha.
But I
Will
Fight,
Fly,
Free,
Flood,
Bleed,
Dream,
Hope,
Cherish,
Smar­t-***,
Humour,
Play,
Courage.
I will
Be
Me.
So many people who try to stop being and doing what you are.
hannah May 9
May I say I do have some fears
Like everyone else
Yes, I hate spiders
Yes, I hate snakes
I hate roller coasters
What else do I need to let you know about me
I am a really picky eater
Yes, I hate celery
Yes, I hate tomatoes
Yes, I hate plain tastes
I still have a whole lot I hate
Well whats next
I love my family
Yes, I am the youngest
Yes, My parents are divorce
Yes, I hate 2 cats
I like them more than you can imagine
Well now lets talk more deeply about myself
I hate the way my body is made
I hate that I look more like my dad than my mom
I hate that I am the shortest senior in my grade
But Yes I am fearfully made
hannah Mar 11
Well let me just say, I am not that big of a fan when it comes to myself
But there are some things I wouldn’t to put on a shelf

I love my hazel eyes that like to switch colors and sparkle when the sun beams
Compared to some other teens

I love my long eyelashes that I magicly have
But I don’t like how they don’t curve

My face wasn’t clear
But now it only does that a few time through the year

I may be really shy at first
But trust me I will definitely burst

Music is something that always keeps me calm
Because its the bomb

I love being creative with some things
I’m not that good to paint Colorado Springs though

I love my hobbies
But I don’t like coffee

I love how I keep an eye on something that really sticks out to me
Because hoepfully someday mine it will be

I will always love my summer tan
But sadly not as tan as one of my sisters Morgan
I’m 5’1
I have blonde red hair
I wake up every morning and pray thanks
I do things everyday that I’m scared to do
I fight everyday against Anorexia Nervosa
I remind myself everyday my happiness is first

This is Me
Bella S Apr 2018
You are saying I am cruel
I bet you even care
Yes I am rude and also somewhat mean
Because I am a thunderous sea trying to calm the hurricane of your betrayal going inside me
You think I don't know
that you're the one spreading the rumors
Thank you for sharing with the world your opinion of me

I was not like this before
You loved me, you stood up for me
Making my already hard life somewhat nice
It's you who forced my mind
To shut the windows of my demons
but then, they finally convinced you.
these people, you call your friends.
stole me from my happiness and rid you of your love for me.
and from that day on I have thanked you, for making me a stronger person, for making me hate you, for making my life; a living hell.
Olga Valerevna Jul 2016
There're so many people who open your eyes
           and show you the craters they see in the skies
Perspectives are jaded when Truth's within reach
  and I have rejected most people who teach
I forfeit the frenzies they feed themselves to
I'd rather go hungry than eat out of you
And even if crazy is all I've become
     My sanity's measured by little to none
I drew my conclusions like everyone else
in anger and envy that put my in hell
The fire was pretty, the darkness the same
             but I want to hear what the light has to say
I cannot be honest if I cannot see
Surrender my soul to the Spirit in me
1989.
Alvira Perdita May 2016
she was always looking away
at the river, the sun, her phone
never did her eyes meet anyone
else's, and she never smiled

she was sick and fragile
and never smiled
but people loved her anyway
as they hugged her and held her close
she never smiled

she'd answer their questions
in the least personal way
and they wouldn't ask
too many questions or
anything that was personal
and she'd ask many questions
leading into personal parts
of their lives

she sat alone
with her hair hanging like
a curtain in front of her face
hiding her brokenness from the world

worst of all, she hid behind this falseness
that she showed off to the world
a blank mask that held everyone
at an arm's length
and she never smiled
my true reflection.
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