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"withdrawing" poems
Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional. The crossroads of success, Is always constructional. If we could become tress, Solid and stoic, deep rooted In Mother Earth's flesh; We could stand firm Through the tempest, unswayed. But we are only humans. Covered in darkness. Hiding behind our fears, Timidly withdrawing from The ominous tempest. So, embrace the fury, The daunting gales that Once were scary. After all, you can't Stop the waves, But you can learn to surf. And even if you sank, Deeper into the void, At least you'll drown Knowing there was Beauty In The Struggle.
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Nov 11, 2019
Nov 11, 2019 at 10:42 AM UTC
Beauty In The Struggle
Abbreviations of the Life Human these little stories, bejeweled poeticals, long tall tales, short-held breaths from the savings account breast, all slow withdrawing-dawning, all are but the abbreviations of the life human my fav of course, the one, the twenty six the aleph best bet <•> 4-16-18 10:47pm a mondo Monday survivors prayer
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Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 11:16 PM UTC
Abbreviations of the Life Human
Moored to the same ring: The hour, the darkness and I, Our compasses hooded like falcons. Now the memory of you comes aching in With a wash of broken bits which never left port In which once we planned voyages, They come knocking like hearts asking: What departures on this tide? Breath of land, warm breath, You tighten the cold around the navel, Though all shores but the first have been foreign, And the first was not home until left behind. Our choice is ours but we have not made it, Containing as it does, our destination Circled with loss as with coral, and A destination only until attained. I have left you my hope to remember me by, Though now there is little resemblance. At this moment I could believe in no change, The mast perpetually Vacillating between the same constellations, The night never withdrawing its dark virtue >From the harbor shaped as a heart, The sea pulsing as a heart, The sky vaulted as a heart, Where I know the light will shatter like a cry Above a discovery: "Emptiness. Emptiness! Look!" Look. This is the morning.
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8.4k
The Ships Are Made Ready In Silence
so don't change then you seem to be perfectly comfortable in your insanity. wrestling, withdrawing, anhedonia coming alive in your party master wrangler of sorrow, been there, done that. and like watching the christians and the lions, i am rooting for you but know you will shed blood. and when you are devoured enough you come to life, crazy sonafabitch. stay where you are then, forget em happy pills. i will go certifiable with you as long as you do not forget the lunacy of our love.
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Dec 23, 2009
Dec 23, 2009 at 6:55 PM UTC
bipolar
My friend asks, “Do you never get tired of your sadness?” I do. Everyday is a battle I face, struggling to keep myself alive, trying to find reasons to not **** myself but all I can find are reasons why I’m better off dead. She says, “Why don’t you try doing things that makes you happy?” I wish it was that easy to do the things I enjoy (read: used to enjoy) doing but it’s hard when you can’t even get yourself out of the bed in the morning, wishing you would just stop existing instead because that seems like the only probable solution to your problem. It’s hard to be happy when you’re being constantly reminded just how much of a **** you are, all the negative thoughts eating you alive. The feeling of emptiness clawing its way through your throat and making its presence known but god knows you don’t  want it — never even asked for it in the first place. I’m tired of being sad all the time. I’m tired of always being tired, locking myself in my room and withdrawing myself from any forms of social interaction because the thing is I don’t have enough energy to talk to anyone today, please leave me alone. These days I’ve been feeling numb. I try to do things to make myself feel something — or anything at all, but all that I am is numb and empty. It’s like nothing will ever bring me happiness or sorrow. I feel like there’s nothing that will ever make me feel something again.   My friend says, “You know I’m here for you, right?” but she never remembers to check up on me on days I feel like darkness is the only thing to keep me company, the weight of living taking its toll on me. She never remembers to ask me how I’m doing on days where I feel like death is the only solution to my depression. It’s hard to stay alive when you can’t seem to find any reasons to live at all. —l.a.
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Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 6:29 AM UTC
It’s hard to live when you can’t find reasons to stay alive
My friend asks, “Do you never get tired of your sadness?” I do. Everyday is a battle I face, struggling to keep myself alive, trying to find reasons to not **** myself but all I can find are reasons why I’m better off dead. She says, “Why don’t you try doing things that makes you happy?” I wish it was that easy to do the things I enjoy (read: used to enjoy) doing but it’s hard when you can’t even get yourself out of the bed in the morning, wishing you would just stop existing instead because that seems like the only probable solution to your problem. It’s hard to be happy when you’re being constantly reminded just how much of a **** you are, all the negative thoughts eating you alive. The feeling of emptiness clawing its way through your throat and making its presence known but god knows you don’t  want it — never even asked for it in the first place. I’m tired of being sad all the time. I’m tired of always being tired, locking myself in my room and withdrawing myself from any forms of social interaction because the thing is I don’t have enough energy to talk to anyone today, please leave me alone. These days I’ve been feeling numb. I try to do things to make myself feel something — or anything at all, but all that I am is numb and empty. It’s like nothing will ever bring me happiness or sorrow. I feel like there’s nothing that will ever make me feel something again.   My friend says, “You know I’m here for you, right?” but she never remembers to check up on me on days I feel like darkness is the only thing to keep me company, the weight of living taking its toll on me. She never remembers to ask me how I’m doing on days where I feel like death is the only solution to my depression. It’s hard to stay alive when you can’t seem to find any reasons to live at all. —l.a.
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11
I live in a world Where we pet deer with cars So we set our emotions in jars The cops drive with broken headlights And nobody knows what's right Yet we're not allowed to fuss Because we're on a prison bus So I dream of the days I'll get to see the freeway You got in my car That didn't go far You decided to call a taxi Because I was so taxing I got under your skin like a cyst And I became your taxidermist You jumped in my town car That became a clown car You made me feel like a star And then left me on Mars Where I lived out the back of my hearse Patiently waiting for a compatible nurse I found myself in an ambulance Withdrawing from all your medicine I couldn't get out of the trance Your bulldozer left me embedded in After being rolled in the muck I became a monster truck I wish you were a convertible So I could at least get a nibble For you handle a road of ugliness with grace It's the same daunting road I cowardly face We just can't travel together That's how we'll travel forever I just wish you could know The places my car will go
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Oct 21, 2017
Oct 21, 2017 at 5:03 AM UTC
Car
And thus when the sun would rise, it should be determined; I had lost, failed to wipe out the transience of a dreams miracle, Leaning back as the stars fade one after another in the brightening sky I find myself smiling, at the disappearing sight of the lunar rabbit after the moon too had sunken down to rest without a single cloud having witnessed it, the heavens remain only filled with great light. While everyone rejoyed with a big smile to the morning which welcomes them to be again, hard working and productive, I can't help it but to feel sad, having to accept my destiny of never breaking free. The fleeting time passes aimlessly, only for me to have faint courage, Glooming, one would even embrace the darkness which befalls the world at a time which ceases to let even crystal starlight seep through, This is where the dreams created in the world of fantasy are born, That's a repeated story, they bloom, scatter then fall, recycling again. Shining and withdrawing itself, there is always my presence in a dream, so dance in the dark night my beloved servant, have we really lost if I do not fade away and perish ~ ? Yes, we have, sadly enough. Yet I should engage ourselves with the solance; I don't have to die in a dream. ~ Umi
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May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 6:07 PM UTC
Game over
Hung up on a Sunday with a strung-up savior Hanging from a cross across the hall Pleading that a deity annul her misbehavior- Her previous activities, forestall. Hung up on the hunger pains, insatiable and gnawing Knowing well the vigor of the squall Hung up on a strung up stranger, rendezvous withdrawing Waiting on the King of Kings to call.
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Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011 at 4:00 AM UTC
Hangover
****** into my sofa, The infinite space of it. The faces of my friends are melting off, Like heated wax running down a candle stick. I loaded the universe into a gun, And I shot myself in the head. I can not tell if I am breathing. Am I alive or am I dead? I’m strapped to the outside of a rocket ship with nothing in the way. I’m taking off, and I just keep going. Reaching a height higher than heaven. There’s nothing to orient myself. No time. No space. No self. Nothing but darkness stretching out all around me. A roar of a million voices are screaming over each other, they’re resonating in my head. I’ve come into orbit. Everything is beginning to crystalize. Surrounding me are complex geometrical patterns of love and understanding. Gibberish wall textures are whispering messages through their feelings. This is all too much to take in, It is like the universe orgasmed into my eye. I just want to go home, I think I am going to die. A sense of calm echoes through me, Probably brought upon by the faces of my long lost family. They have so much dimension to them, So beautiful, light and shimmering. Looking like something out of religious doctrine, They came out from the open. Released me into my primal light laser body, Everybody has been laughing at the joke never spoke. And now that I get it, It is infinitely funny. It is like the sand man blew his sand, Taking me on a train to dream land. They are showing me everything, I can not even begin to understand. How am I supposed to understand infinity, When I can barely understand a single moment. I see God in a head of lettuce. I feel the earth's rotation, As I spin around the sun. God handed me the universe loaded into a revolver, And fired me into a flashing rainbow shower. Friday's smoke opera has rendered me dumb. Bathing in a melting rainbow, The cosmos is dripping down my skin. Infinity is stretching out, And withdrawing within. I become the colour, And the colour becomes me. I am in everything, And everything is in me. Coming out of the woodsmen's cloud, I hear a child screaming out. I didn't know what it was then, But now I know what it is about. The trees are no longer silhouettes, My destination is not my goal. I am in the middle, Wherever I go.
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Aug 20, 2019
Aug 20, 2019 at 5:45 PM UTC
Sword In The ****** Face
****** into my sofa, The infinite space of it. The faces of my friends are melting off, Like heated wax running down a candle stick. I loaded the universe into a gun, And I shot myself in the head. I can not tell if I am breathing. Am I alive or am I dead? I’m strapped to the outside of a rocket ship with nothing in the way. I’m taking off, and I just keep going. Reaching a height higher than heaven. There’s nothing to orient myself. No time. No space. No self. Nothing but darkness stretching out all around me. A roar of a million voices are screaming over each other, they’re resonating in my head. I’ve come into orbit. Everything is beginning to crystalize. Surrounding me are complex geometrical patterns of love and understanding. Gibberish wall textures are whispering messages through their feelings. This is all too much to take in, It is like the universe orgasmed into my eye. I just want to go home, I think I am going to die. A sense of calm echoes through me, Probably brought upon by the faces of my long lost family. They have so much dimension to them, So beautiful, light and shimmering. Looking like something out of religious doctrine, They came out from the open. Released me into my primal light laser body, Everybody has been laughing at the joke never spoke. And now that I get it, It is infinitely funny. It is like the sand man blew his sand, Taking me on a train to dream land. They are showing me everything, I can not even begin to understand. How am I supposed to understand infinity, When I can barely understand a single moment. I see God in a head of lettuce. I feel the earth's rotation, As I spin around the sun. God handed me the universe loaded into a revolver, And fired me into a flashing rainbow shower. Friday's smoke opera has rendered me dumb. Bathing in a melting rainbow, The cosmos is dripping down my skin. Infinity is stretching out, And withdrawing within. I become the colour, And the colour becomes me. I am in everything, And everything is in me. Coming out of the woodsmen's cloud, I hear a child screaming out. I didn't know what it was then, But now I know what it is about. The trees are no longer silhouettes, My destination is not my goal. I am in the middle, Wherever I go.
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57
she said the rain reminded her of Paris can almost hear the cafe's and distant lovers laugh can almost feel Paris 'neath my feet she is Paris in my mind Paris in the rain... melancholy on her face with that distant heartfelt... the rain slips away she said she wanted to walk in the garden in summer bloom linger there by shady tree... rest herself on the wooden bench framed in sunshine her perfume lingers on the trail of her soft footsteps a seductive path to her secret heart she says she is compelled to ask but the silence follows her words... her long white dress reflecting beautifully in the summer air her long white dress once reflecting enticing moment at a time she hums the tune to that song the one she so loved in Paris the one that played on that night of joys the one that she held him so much not me not me not me she is Paris in my mind Paris in the rain... I am withdrawing from the beautiful image of her without moving she is getting farther and farther away no more Paris in the rain for me no more song for me she will always be that Paris in the rain Paris in the rain © 2017 mark john junor all rights reserved
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Jul 19, 2017
Jul 19, 2017 at 12:47 PM UTC
paris in the rain
"Can't take my eyes off yours" not withdrawing their gaze wordlessly he and she muse without batting an eyelid "Ḧer eyes are a shade of blue  rarely seen ever" he thinks, before words could charm her she finds this" Ÿou've the eyes of a girl, every girl that dates you, I am sure would note it first" Isn't she right? Öne girl knows another's heart better then, do men stand a chance?" he wonders "But there is a soft wave beating in the depth, of those eyes" she softly confides Ït arrests me,  can't take my eyes off ..is it kindness or love, or both?" a welling within happens, he was debating just that, but how, just how  does she know it? "Ẅhat would you take first ?' he puts it back   " If I offer you both?" she smiles saying "I know what" Close by they sit, heat permeates from thigh to thigh, isn't it nice?" eyes probe "Let that beam of light I see, fall straight in to my eyes, let's burn together" He shuts his eyes and remember the camphor lights, soft on eyes and oil lamps on temple walls, flames that dance like hooded serpents he feels the heat of her swelled up lips, fitful bees hovering above his mouth.
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Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 9:16 AM UTC
Eye to eye
I should apologize for the days I am withdrawn. This is not what you signed up for. I should apologize for when I don't want to speak or communicate with touch or when I want to be without you but also do not. My indecisiveness is appalling: and I should apologize for that. But today I do not want words. I do not want to be felt because I feel you grabbing and pulling instead of caressing and comforting. You have not done anything wrong. I am just mean. I am just inside myself today and when you want to know what is up I want you to accept that I say the sky instead of pressing for more. My thoughts are poison right now. You shake me like a magic eight ball and I keep thinking try again later but saying not likely. I have the capacity to be kind but my words are pinpricks in your chest and every time I claw you with my numbness I inwardly cringe because I don't mean it, I am sorry, and I should apologize. But I can't. I can not bring myself to vocalize that I am not okay because you'll want to help and I don't want to be okay. Not yet. I want to hide in my closet and cry without company. I want time to myself today. But I don't want to hurt you. I am sorry. You are no burden. I am withdrawing. Not from you, but from me. I don't want to be kind, or resilient, or strong today. I just want to fold into myself, I want to be small and insignificant. I am tired of being fun and happy, it's tiring work. I need time to be low without an interrogation. I just want to be empty for a moment. And I should apologize.
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Jul 14, 2017
Jul 14, 2017 at 11:39 AM UTC
Yesterday, Today, and Probably Tomorrow
I should apologize for the days I am withdrawn. This is not what you signed up for. I should apologize for when I don't want to speak or communicate with touch or when I want to be without you but also do not. My indecisiveness is appalling: and I should apologize for that. But today I do not want words. I do not want to be felt because I feel you grabbing and pulling instead of caressing and comforting. You have not done anything wrong. I am just mean. I am just inside myself today and when you want to know what is up I want you to accept that I say the sky instead of pressing for more. My thoughts are poison right now. You shake me like a magic eight ball and I keep thinking try again later but saying not likely. I have the capacity to be kind but my words are pinpricks in your chest and every time I claw you with my numbness I inwardly cringe because I don't mean it, I am sorry, and I should apologize. But I can't. I can not bring myself to vocalize that I am not okay because you'll want to help and I don't want to be okay. Not yet. I want to hide in my closet and cry without company. I want time to myself today. But I don't want to hurt you. I am sorry. You are no burden. I am withdrawing. Not from you, but from me. I don't want to be kind, or resilient, or strong today. I just want to fold into myself, I want to be small and insignificant. I am tired of being fun and happy, it's tiring work. I need time to be low without an interrogation. I just want to be empty for a moment. And I should apologize.
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1
It's the week of Giving Thanks, and I'm thinking Of the magical place of My Dreams, the Dream-state I existed In my childhood. Google maps is SCI- Finite, and does this place Justice like a squid Quoting Revelation 1: 9 - the Island of Palmos. But at least the squid Was half-right - Middle Park Lagoon Had an island. It wasn't just the little farm Pond full of alligator snappers, And indelible fish (carp, anagram: Crap) It was the surrounding woods, The Leopard Frogs I could not (And really didn't want to) Catch. It wasn't the shoe- Stealing muck-mud, the Barely-4-foot deep water. It wasn't Duck Creek flowing Next door, flooding often, Its waters spilling into the Waters of the Lagoon, depositing And withdrawing wildlife At will. It was my escape-pod in the Mysterious Spaceship Earth That was 1968-1984, for my Dad Ed Scheck, was Supt. of Parks And Rec in Bettendorf, Iowa. He oversaw all the parks, the Pre-Waterslide-Pool, the Bike Trails connecting Davenport To its bro/sis city. My Dad had to work a lot And me in the park was like Me visiting Dad. The Lagoon frozen when we Had Iowa winter, and a very Popular place to skate. I think I loved the Lagoon more frozen Than liquid. At night, I would Cut through the houses on Fair Meadows Drive, listening to KSTT-AM blasting on the speaker Attached to the light pole. It was the scariest part of my day, That little freezing trip from Lagoon to Home. And about the best. In 1979, at sixteen, I applied For employment with the Parks Department, and that Meant summers working at Palmer Hills Golf Course. And, winters, supervising Middle Park Lagoon. I got to skate out on the Ice, the ice that would turn To the watery body I loved Most of all, and miss, to This day. From 1968 (5) to 1984. The math doesn't add up; Magic has no columns that Add up at the bottom, because Magic is bottomless.
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Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 10:09 AM UTC
Magic is Bottomless
It's the week of Giving Thanks, and I'm thinking Of the magical place of My Dreams, the Dream-state I existed In my childhood. Google maps is SCI- Finite, and does this place Justice like a squid Quoting Revelation 1: 9 - the Island of Palmos. But at least the squid Was half-right - Middle Park Lagoon Had an island. It wasn't just the little farm Pond full of alligator snappers, And indelible fish (carp, anagram: Crap) It was the surrounding woods, The Leopard Frogs I could not (And really didn't want to) Catch. It wasn't the shoe- Stealing muck-mud, the Barely-4-foot deep water. It wasn't Duck Creek flowing Next door, flooding often, Its waters spilling into the Waters of the Lagoon, depositing And withdrawing wildlife At will. It was my escape-pod in the Mysterious Spaceship Earth That was 1968-1984, for my Dad Ed Scheck, was Supt. of Parks And Rec in Bettendorf, Iowa. He oversaw all the parks, the Pre-Waterslide-Pool, the Bike Trails connecting Davenport To its bro/sis city. My Dad had to work a lot And me in the park was like Me visiting Dad. The Lagoon frozen when we Had Iowa winter, and a very Popular place to skate. I think I loved the Lagoon more frozen Than liquid. At night, I would Cut through the houses on Fair Meadows Drive, listening to KSTT-AM blasting on the speaker Attached to the light pole. It was the scariest part of my day, That little freezing trip from Lagoon to Home. And about the best. In 1979, at sixteen, I applied For employment with the Parks Department, and that Meant summers working at Palmer Hills Golf Course. And, winters, supervising Middle Park Lagoon. I got to skate out on the Ice, the ice that would turn To the watery body I loved Most of all, and miss, to This day. From 1968 (5) to 1984. The math doesn't add up; Magic has no columns that Add up at the bottom, because Magic is bottomless.
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73
~Enter~ Everything injected Identity constricted Breaths restricted Fights enlisted Words explicit Pain inflicted ~Exit~ Withdrawing addiction Half of me missing Shaking commencing Cold sweats kick in Heartbeats lessening Death's threatening ~Return~ Suffocation retired Individuality aspired Stimulation inspired Culmination transpired Life long love desired Exact dosage is required ~Anchored~ © Tina Thompson
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Feb 26, 2012
Feb 26, 2012 at 8:13 PM UTC
Prescription
I'm withdrawing. Running and hiding. You'll see in time that it's for the best. I'm at a standstill while time is constantly moving forward Forward moving. I can't pretend. I need to stop before I'm in over my head. I'd rather embrace the feeling of wanting to be dead. The end is always inevitable. I don't want to wait to find out. I'm ending this here. I'm ending this now. I need a drink, but instead I'm gonna take a couple sleeping pills and drift into the abyss. Far from words that sting egos. Far from hands of time. That only keep people at arms length Safe from harm. Safe harbor. Safe haven. Safe camp.
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Apr 22, 2016
Apr 22, 2016 at 5:43 AM UTC
Safe Camp
"Little lass with the pink parasol, standing by the sea where your face was forgotten and your dress dirtied, what can you tell me of the wind? Have you noticed its paws tugging at your parasol and how it dances 'round your tip-toes and freezes your eyelids with icicle pins? How it shields your drinking sight from sunlight by raising a blind of your hair? Or have you instead chosen to count the peaks on the waves? How each pinch in the watery fabric pistons up and down in the oceanic mattress with the nature sporadic of a mad stellar twinkling. What treasures belch age and air bubbles under the surface of a fingertip's breadth? Of such sweet gems and precious metal surely are the gifts of its deepest depths daring. It has been counting the times you've dipped your nose under, under fear of the fathom's fingers finding your face to be pretty, and withdrawing. You'll catch cold, lass. Standing by the sea so often; always. At the least you will go mad at the infinite sound of roaring laps against the shore and the gales born of sea and sky scrubbing memories of stillness from your mind. Little lass with the pink parasol, what do you hope to find standing here by thesea?" I asked her. She was silent. And I heard every word her own, though uttered tangibly by winds of local overcast atmospheres. In the wet soil 'neath my tarred heels did a coolness rise, finding my lungs dry and welcoming. The horizon joined grey and blue and she was eyeing the vanishing point. My eyes joined hers in trek and I found infinity. Nothing was visible along the skyline. Meaning anything was beyond it. Nothing was visible beneath the tide. Meaning anything was under it. The wind suggested transparency but a secretless wind is merely still air. She said nothing and I understood; the sea seems larger when you are close enough to be kissed by the waves because you forget that the whole world is behind you. I am right now standing by the sea. The little lass with the pink parasol. She is here, too.
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May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013 at 11:01 PM UTC
Little Lass With A Pink Parasol
"Little lass with the pink parasol, standing by the sea where your face was forgotten and your dress dirtied, what can you tell me of the wind? Have you noticed its paws tugging at your parasol and how it dances 'round your tip-toes and freezes your eyelids with icicle pins? How it shields your drinking sight from sunlight by raising a blind of your hair? Or have you instead chosen to count the peaks on the waves? How each pinch in the watery fabric pistons up and down in the oceanic mattress with the nature sporadic of a mad stellar twinkling. What treasures belch age and air bubbles under the surface of a fingertip's breadth? Of such sweet gems and precious metal surely are the gifts of its deepest depths daring. It has been counting the times you've dipped your nose under, under fear of the fathom's fingers finding your face to be pretty, and withdrawing. You'll catch cold, lass. Standing by the sea so often; always. At the least you will go mad at the infinite sound of roaring laps against the shore and the gales born of sea and sky scrubbing memories of stillness from your mind. Little lass with the pink parasol, what do you hope to find standing here by thesea?" I asked her. She was silent. And I heard every word her own, though uttered tangibly by winds of local overcast atmospheres. In the wet soil 'neath my tarred heels did a coolness rise, finding my lungs dry and welcoming. The horizon joined grey and blue and she was eyeing the vanishing point. My eyes joined hers in trek and I found infinity. Nothing was visible along the skyline. Meaning anything was beyond it. Nothing was visible beneath the tide. Meaning anything was under it. The wind suggested transparency but a secretless wind is merely still air. She said nothing and I understood; the sea seems larger when you are close enough to be kissed by the waves because you forget that the whole world is behind you. I am right now standing by the sea. The little lass with the pink parasol. She is here, too.
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66
Life's Predispositions In the chapel of his soul and in the steeple of his mind votive candles burn, bright and iridescent, perpetual, red, yellow, green and blue. He sits in there, a chapel for one, in a mist of confusion, in a mess, searching for answers, as his life is waning, escaping, like an Autumn wind blowing the pages of his life ... stillness, of bookmarks, still on page one, he hatched, once. All around him, dark, and cold, like a winter chill, snow banks withdrawing, his sad existence. Still he looks up to Jesus on the cross. Warmth. In the chapel of his soul and in the steeple of his mind votive candles burn, large, bright and iridescent, perpetual, another rainbow stretching it's arcs for him. He backs away. He bemoans life, small, it's endowments on him. His parent's mistake on a dark, eerie loveless night... and their cutting words "You were a mistake," words that grew on him, like barnacles clinging to him, eating away his buoyancy, like a ship sinking. In the birth of another spring, flowers blossoms, rivers gushing down mountains and mountains of pollination, life, he has a lone branch waiting ... somewhere. Such stillness. Such stigmatization from his parents loveless past. A mistake they conceded. It had an effect on him, darker than the blackest sheep that he was. What predispositions. When the summer harvests arrive, fields smiling their wares, he scowled he scowled the corn, subsistence, life, the changing seasons, his short change of life. Rainbows. Why are the birds singing to me? Why? The voices in his head chirping, continuing. What message thou bring to an orphan? Still he looks up to Jesus on the cross. Warmth. His eyes squint. Dad, mom. And whispers words that don't need to be said, closure. Logan Robertson 6/01/17
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Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 4:16 PM UTC
Life's Predispositions
Life's Predispositions In the chapel of his soul and in the steeple of his mind votive candles burn, bright and iridescent, perpetual, red, yellow, green and blue. He sits in there, a chapel for one, in a mist of confusion, in a mess, searching for answers, as his life is waning, escaping, like an Autumn wind blowing the pages of his life ... stillness, of bookmarks, still on page one, he hatched, once. All around him, dark, and cold, like a winter chill, snow banks withdrawing, his sad existence. Still he looks up to Jesus on the cross. Warmth. In the chapel of his soul and in the steeple of his mind votive candles burn, large, bright and iridescent, perpetual, another rainbow stretching it's arcs for him. He backs away. He bemoans life, small, it's endowments on him. His parent's mistake on a dark, eerie loveless night... and their cutting words "You were a mistake," words that grew on him, like barnacles clinging to him, eating away his buoyancy, like a ship sinking. In the birth of another spring, flowers blossoms, rivers gushing down mountains and mountains of pollination, life, he has a lone branch waiting ... somewhere. Such stillness. Such stigmatization from his parents loveless past. A mistake they conceded. It had an effect on him, darker than the blackest sheep that he was. What predispositions. When the summer harvests arrive, fields smiling their wares, he scowled he scowled the corn, subsistence, life, the changing seasons, his short change of life. Rainbows. Why are the birds singing to me? Why? The voices in his head chirping, continuing. What message thou bring to an orphan? Still he looks up to Jesus on the cross. Warmth. His eyes squint. Dad, mom. And whispers words that don't need to be said, closure. Logan Robertson 6/01/17
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102
Is the occultist aware she’s daring, That she carries the shadiest orifice? No. She just defecates and scars remain. Akin to the likes of an unmarketable comedian: passion on one side, narcissism on the other. ‘Twas unforeseen. Enemies working together, Exchanging callous banknotes. No one had foreseen this. Eventually, she’ll ******* from depositing and withdrawing. But no one knows. No one can ever know.
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Sep 7, 2012
Sep 7, 2012 at 10:45 PM UTC
Beatbox Of A Satanist
Sitting here, thinking about death, about which death to choose, about which passing of time to write about. I am sweating, like, hold your breath or die sweat. It is hot here, but it isn't the temperature that is making my glands leak, it is the memories, it is the death grip that takes my heart when i remember, when i write about life leaving, silence stealing from the night. Heroine. She's a tuff-tender ***** with soft sleepy skin, the daughter of Morpheus, who takes your breath and holds it inside you. Somniferous, She likes to sit alongside you while you die, she holds your hand and whispers in your ear, allaying fear and slowly she wraps her fingers around your lungs. So tired, of this world, of this life; you think, i'll just close my eyes, nothing new about being on the nod, nothing strange about this tiredness that follows a quick projectile puke in the gutter. Let sleeping dogs lie. Writing about Overdosing. It is a strange thing, a quick story, one minute your blinking, nodding, often murmuring, then asleep. Lucky the dog who runs in a pack. Lucky the man who walks with strangers by his side. I don't remember much of what happened before i closed my eyes. A shot, pin ***** relief, then, quickly/slowly/gone. It is night out, with a dark and steady sky, I am watching the stars through slitted eyes and loving my life, loving my wife; ****** how she makes my heart sing. I am glad to be far from withdrawing, i am happy to be in sin with my lovers, stainless steel turemo picks. It is my first blast for the night and apparently my last. There is no warning, no red flag that appears in my minds eye. Just silence and a world fading away. A heartbeat disappearing. Short shallow breath and a small niggling concern that soon will come the time when i am not high then... I am going. I am gone. I have died. The strangest thing about dying is not dying. The hardest thing about it all is waking up and realising you were finally gone, you were finally done with the rigmorale, the procedure, of living, of life. You had reached the ultimate goodbye. And now you are back. Still high but not high enough to be faced with the living. Narcan gives your lungs back, it breathes back into you what She stole away. Wanting more then ever to ***** but not wanting to puke on the paramedics lap. Fear of police and reprisal, anxiety soars high on the agenda of the recently revived. A trip the hospital, a free ride, then signing out early, i have shots to blast, a past to wipe out, a life to live or die trying.
0
Feb 11, 2010
Feb 11, 2010 at 5:01 PM UTC
Die trying.
Sitting here, thinking about death, about which death to choose, about which passing of time to write about. I am sweating, like, hold your breath or die sweat. It is hot here, but it isn't the temperature that is making my glands leak, it is the memories, it is the death grip that takes my heart when i remember, when i write about life leaving, silence stealing from the night. Heroine. She's a tuff-tender ***** with soft sleepy skin, the daughter of Morpheus, who takes your breath and holds it inside you. Somniferous, She likes to sit alongside you while you die, she holds your hand and whispers in your ear, allaying fear and slowly she wraps her fingers around your lungs. So tired, of this world, of this life; you think, i'll just close my eyes, nothing new about being on the nod, nothing strange about this tiredness that follows a quick projectile puke in the gutter. Let sleeping dogs lie. Writing about Overdosing. It is a strange thing, a quick story, one minute your blinking, nodding, often murmuring, then asleep. Lucky the dog who runs in a pack. Lucky the man who walks with strangers by his side. I don't remember much of what happened before i closed my eyes. A shot, pin ***** relief, then, quickly/slowly/gone. It is night out, with a dark and steady sky, I am watching the stars through slitted eyes and loving my life, loving my wife; ****** how she makes my heart sing. I am glad to be far from withdrawing, i am happy to be in sin with my lovers, stainless steel turemo picks. It is my first blast for the night and apparently my last. There is no warning, no red flag that appears in my minds eye. Just silence and a world fading away. A heartbeat disappearing. Short shallow breath and a small niggling concern that soon will come the time when i am not high then... I am going. I am gone. I have died. The strangest thing about dying is not dying. The hardest thing about it all is waking up and realising you were finally gone, you were finally done with the rigmorale, the procedure, of living, of life. You had reached the ultimate goodbye. And now you are back. Still high but not high enough to be faced with the living. Narcan gives your lungs back, it breathes back into you what She stole away. Wanting more then ever to ***** but not wanting to puke on the paramedics lap. Fear of police and reprisal, anxiety soars high on the agenda of the recently revived. A trip the hospital, a free ride, then signing out early, i have shots to blast, a past to wipe out, a life to live or die trying.
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12
Nursing my secret longings I lie awake in the wee hours of the night Mind restless, like a caged bird, craving redemption My thoughts journeying through time and space I recognize a thousand appetites Still waiting to be appeased! Sadly there isn’t time enough To realize what I really crave. It is in the stillness of the night When sleep deserts the eyes That mind derails its track And wanders like an aimless vagabond Though rooted firmly on the ground At times, I feel, I lose my bearings How I longed to paint my sky In garish colors and shades! I wonder if the scales of my life’s balance Lean more to gains or losses now! There was a time when hope ruled the roost And I heard love’s soft whispers all around! Now I am unable to precisely tell What my mind craves and pines But this much I know for certain I am becoming worn and old Years have so quickly skipped past me With youth and beauty sapped away Leaving life an exhausted well With the dregs remaining at the bottom My eyesight has waned, the earlier lustre gone My once supple knees have started to creak And the muscles, begun to sag I feel as vulnerable as a foetus in the womb Pain grows with years As a smudge deepens into an erasable stain I am no wizard to call back all that have left But listen to their ‘long, melancholy, withdrawing roar’ No more springing steps And a fast fading cortex Still I stretch myself To catch at Hope, winging away!
0
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 19, 2016 at 6:07 AM UTC
Sunset
Skip to News Feed Facebook Search Facebook Sam Home Friend Requests Messages 1 Notifications Account Settings Sam Grenier Edit Profile FAVORITES News Feed 4 Messages Events 2 Saved Sale Groups APPS 16 Games Tetris Battle Drop UberStrike Tetris Battle 4 Candy Crush Saga Superball Fourplay Qilox HotShot Piano Tiles: Don't Tap The Tile Drop It Daily Snake 20+ Games Feed GROUPS 20+ A Poet's Haven 20+ Political Debate Group New Groups Create Group FRIENDS Hillside Fish House PAGES Read more 20+ Pages Feed Like Pages Create Page Create Ad INTERESTS Pages and Public Figures DEVELOPER Manage Apps Insights EVENTS Create Event birthday Steve Stone and 2 others TRENDING Chris Hemsworth: 1st Image of Actor as 'Ghostbusters' Character Released Rick ******** Republican Candidate Withdrawing From Presidential Race, Report Says Me Before You: Warner Bros. Releases Photos and Trailer From Upcoming Film Starring Emilia Clark See More GAMES See More PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOWSee All PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW Bryton Rieck 5 mutual friends Add Friend Rob Hoesley 62 mutual friends Add Friend Jayce Overton 19 mutual friends Add Friend English (US) · Privacy · Terms · Cookies · Advertising · Ad Choices · More Facebook © 2016 Update StatusAdd Photos/VideoChoose Files Create Photo AlbumChoose a file to uploadChoose Files What's on your mind? Public Post News Feed Abbey Engel was tagged in Abbey Zastrow's photo. Abbey Zastrow with Abbey Engel. 19 hrs · Instagram · Transformation Tuesday w/ my bestie
0
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 3:35 PM UTC
FB
Skip to News Feed Facebook Search Facebook Sam Home Friend Requests Messages 1 Notifications Account Settings Sam Grenier Edit Profile FAVORITES News Feed 4 Messages Events 2 Saved Sale Groups APPS 16 Games Tetris Battle Drop UberStrike Tetris Battle 4 Candy Crush Saga Superball Fourplay Qilox HotShot Piano Tiles: Don't Tap The Tile Drop It Daily Snake 20+ Games Feed GROUPS 20+ A Poet's Haven 20+ Political Debate Group New Groups Create Group FRIENDS Hillside Fish House PAGES Read more 20+ Pages Feed Like Pages Create Page Create Ad INTERESTS Pages and Public Figures DEVELOPER Manage Apps Insights EVENTS Create Event birthday Steve Stone and 2 others TRENDING Chris Hemsworth: 1st Image of Actor as 'Ghostbusters' Character Released Rick ******** Republican Candidate Withdrawing From Presidential Race, Report Says Me Before You: Warner Bros. Releases Photos and Trailer From Upcoming Film Starring Emilia Clark See More GAMES See More PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOWSee All PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW Bryton Rieck 5 mutual friends Add Friend Rob Hoesley 62 mutual friends Add Friend Jayce Overton 19 mutual friends Add Friend English (US) · Privacy · Terms · Cookies · Advertising · Ad Choices · More Facebook © 2016 Update StatusAdd Photos/VideoChoose Files Create Photo AlbumChoose a file to uploadChoose Files What's on your mind? Public Post News Feed Abbey Engel was tagged in Abbey Zastrow's photo. Abbey Zastrow with Abbey Engel. 19 hrs · Instagram · Transformation Tuesday w/ my bestie
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94
The Last Meeting I dreamt the dream again It repeats Always the same Built on borrowed uncertainty An uncompromising battle within me It shakes the very core of me Lingers for days within Then Draws out through my mouth Opening doors to feelings I'd rather stayed hidden I'll be at the same meeting It's years since it happened The intensity burned My insides ached His icy stare penetrated My heart As I was leaving My insides started screaming As he was not following This brought our last meeting The last During the night I used to watch him Constantly breathing The steady rise and fall of his chest I needed this certainty As the moon that shared all my nights With clenched fist and warm soft breath Reassuring me for now He was alive The steady rise and fall of his chest I had become his mistress His other lover insisted Keeping her talons in him So he kept on descending Into the furrows of the unknown A place I could not follow A place I would not go I fought her for years Then finally gave up my fears I walked away in tears This brought our last meeting The last I was standing He was staring The taxi waiting Tears started spraying My heart near to breaking Me needing A fresh start This form of addiction is far from forgiving My love had equipped it from the start Now I keep dreaming Of the last meeting The one that shattered my thoughts We are both staring The north wind is blowing On the sun heated sidewalk The ****** Withdrawing from his blood The scales are weighing Between her and me He has mistaken Her love from the start He started turning My mind started reeling My hands started shaking As he kept on walking So I keep dreaming Of the last meeting The one That shattered my heart
0
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:35 AM UTC
Last Meeting
The Last Meeting I dreamt the dream again It repeats Always the same Built on borrowed uncertainty An uncompromising battle within me It shakes the very core of me Lingers for days within Then Draws out through my mouth Opening doors to feelings I'd rather stayed hidden I'll be at the same meeting It's years since it happened The intensity burned My insides ached His icy stare penetrated My heart As I was leaving My insides started screaming As he was not following This brought our last meeting The last During the night I used to watch him Constantly breathing The steady rise and fall of his chest I needed this certainty As the moon that shared all my nights With clenched fist and warm soft breath Reassuring me for now He was alive The steady rise and fall of his chest I had become his mistress His other lover insisted Keeping her talons in him So he kept on descending Into the furrows of the unknown A place I could not follow A place I would not go I fought her for years Then finally gave up my fears I walked away in tears This brought our last meeting The last I was standing He was staring The taxi waiting Tears started spraying My heart near to breaking Me needing A fresh start This form of addiction is far from forgiving My love had equipped it from the start Now I keep dreaming Of the last meeting The one that shattered my thoughts We are both staring The north wind is blowing On the sun heated sidewalk The ****** Withdrawing from his blood The scales are weighing Between her and me He has mistaken Her love from the start He started turning My mind started reeling My hands started shaking As he kept on walking So I keep dreaming Of the last meeting The one That shattered my heart
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72
My alter ego, Thomas, seems to have the same problem I do. He's in the hospital withdrawing from alcohol, and also has politicians taking refuge under his bed. The lice in Donald's Trump's hair have demanded rice for breakfast and it's 4:00 in the afternoon. Bernie Sanders is under their clamoring free medical care for everybody, but every time I put the nurses light on and tell them what's going on they say no one's under the bed. I think they're in on it. If this doesn't stop the doctors will think I'm crazy, but we know who the crazy ones are. Right?
0
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 11:49 AM UTC
Under my Bed
the pornographic nature of poetry freaks my head with images and wordplay i adore it so like a lover i cannot stop feasting on my lips caress each syllable like ********** my heart rushes like the first glimpse of her face thunders in my chest like each stanza in my hearts mind the pornographic nature of poetry silken smooth and sweaty hard against the pen pushing it forward fast slowly withdrawing each breath is a vow of love everlasting each sentence is a heartbeat feel it so strong swift and sweet the pornographic nature of poetry i wake in dawns light with it on my lips a taste of the words so tender a rushing of the soul to find the very center of my lovers heart feel it in the brush strokes of the pen as it scrabbles across the neat lines of the page thrusting ever forward to the perfection to the true expression to the words that my lover smiles for the pornographic nature of poetry lurid and sweet nurturing and deep
0
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 8:06 AM UTC
the pornographic nature of poetry
We own a pond; mottled bluebottle, flecked in freckles when the sunlight skims the surface between the moss. I dip a finger inside and stir. A nebula swills, swirling like a whisk of spilt oil from a water spot sometimes found underneath a car. My fist plunges in, embalming a gulp; moss bandages around the orb that, withdrawing in drips, I see a new world set alight upon it.
0
Jul 7, 2015
Jul 7, 2015 at 9:31 AM UTC
Patina