"donot" poems
when you fall in love with an angel, you must understand that there are things you will never understand.
- when you first go to run your hands through her hair, her halo will slice your palm. and it will hurt like hell. she will mend it with the touch of one golden finger, and leave so abruptly that she is gone almost before you even blink. the thing you will see is her at the doorway. terrified eyes, blood stained hair.
(later, she will tell you that she never realized how breakable humans could be. when she explains what it takes to make an angel bleed, you begin to understand )
- ask her about the sky, about stars and suns and galaxies light years away. ask her whether or not the universe looks like a blooming garden. never ask about lucifer - she will become a soldier before your eyes.
and not, do not, donot, ask about god.
do not ask about rebellious older brothers and absentee mothers.
(do not infer about a war you know nothing of)
- in a science class you are taking simply for extra credit, your teacher will be talking about quantum physics. he will explain galaxies and refer to stars as "celestial bodies," but you won't be listening. suddenly you will only be able to think of the way her mouth curls at the sides, of the way her golden skin glows, of all the puckered scars that crisscross her torso, of the graceful arch on the bottom of her foot. celestial bodies are certainly on your mind but they are so much more than gas and light and heat and touch and --- oh heavens ---
when the teacher asks if you are alright, you will flush an even deeper red. supernova.
(at times it is lovely to be in love with an angel. but at other times, it is not)
- beware when you fight, it is like the world is ending. her anger conjures a thunderstorm, and soon the entire country is three inches deep in water. you shatter a picture frame. a bolt of lightning catches the house across the street on fire. you are screaming at the top of your lungs – something about duty, something about god – and there is a crash of thunder that shakes the foundations. the weathermen talk about the storm for days. you flinch and change the channel.
(no matter how right she is, she will always let you win)
- there are times when she won't visit for months on end, and when she finally comes back to you, she is not herself. there are new scars across her chest, and she does not speak. she sits with you in her arms for hours, her nose buried in your hair, and her arms squeezed tight, so tight. she does not cry. you do not cry.
you do(not) cry.
(but you do remember the miles and miles of white scarring. you wonder if angels are as immortal and unbreakable as they think)
Nov 14, 2017
Nov 14, 2017 at 5:25 AM UTC
Everyday I walk the gauntlet
down the street full of despair
No one looking up at me
But, they know that I am there
"Mister, can you spare some change"
"I need a coffee and a meal"
They all just sit there begging
I can't know how they feel
Cardboard signs expressing life
Shadows and wratihs along the walk
I try to block out what they say
I don't want to hear them talk
Some are dressed in paupers rags
While others in name brands
Each day I walk the gauntlet
Past their pleas and outstretched hands
"Mister, can you spare some cash?"
"A coffee would be nice"
I donot make eye contact
I choose not to roll the dice
I can't look down and notice them
I can not help them all
I can only walk and wonder
Just how far did they fall?
"Mister, can you help me out?"
""I'm only two bucks short"
Some sit here from five to nine
Then they choose a different port
Last week a voice reached out to me
From a shadow no one cast
I recognized the voice, it was
A person from my past
"Mister, can you spare a bit?"
"I'm just down on my luck"
I stopped and stood and waited as
My very breath was ******
I knew this voice, it's owner was
A man I worked with once
Many, many years ago
Back at old A.F.T. Hunts
I turned and looked upon him
This old man on the side
His eyes looked clear on through me
He wouldn't know me if he tried
He said "I'm only waiting for"
"something else to come along"
"I don't feel right, sitting, begging"
"In a few days I will be gone"
I reached inside and pulled a bill
five dollars I would give
I knew when he had everything
Now, this is how he lives
I thought before I gave it him
This could easily be me
I knew exactly who'd he'd been
But, he still did not seem to see
I told him to take care and then
I moved on down the street
Not knowing where'd he go to next
If he'd go somewhere warm to eat
I only knew it wasn't far
to reach the gauntlet of despair
But I think from then, I'd never act
As though they were not there.
Jun 4, 2012
Jun 4, 2012 at 7:05 PM UTC
"We the people", have the definition of Humanity all wrong...
It seems that people think humanity is about how humans treat other humans or animals...with kindness....
No this is not Humanity.
The first and primary definition of Humanity, is the state of being human.
A Human, is an earthborn mortal.
People, is defined as, a GROUP of humans linked or assembled toward a common interest.
Humans DONOT and NEVER DID exist for Humanity.
Humanity exist for Nature.
Nature exist for Humanity.
Natrue, is the physical world and everything in it(such as plants, animals, mountains, oceans, stars, etc.) that is not made by people.
NOW, think about all the things that people have created.
Why did people create them? What is the common interest?
Was it necessary? Most of all... Is it Natural or Human?
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 4:01 PM UTC
When life
seems all hopeless
still don't you loose
all scope of hope
for there's
this thing
dangling
in the air,
Reach out
for God's sturdy rope.
For how
sure can
you be
that
death will
take you
to a better fate
What if
you are
plunged
into a
plight
much
worse where there's no turning
back at any rate!
In times of trials and tribulations invoke Him
Or your chances of contentment remain slim
You too haven't been infallible and above all blame,
that you wish for a perfect rosy life
The excuses for suicide are usually so lame,
Better enjoy your share even so in strife.
Donot
friend, plan to commit this act
just to invoke another's pity and regret.
The pity and regret will come and go
Besides it soothes no decomposed,
and a large slice of your life
May lie in waste, your soul disposed
Why rush for thy grave,
It may further gloom.
Suicide's ain't a way out
fellow human friend.
Pray a godless way ,not send
you unto this doom.
You haven't right to bring
any life to its end.
And it's probable that all
those years
that you now wish to recklessly
discard in dust
have something bright ahead,
got to be a ray of
hope
Extinguish it not if in God
you trust!
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018 at 11:56 AM UTC
consider yourself..
lucky?
perhaps, to feel nothing
but elation. at any given
moment
then there's the rest
of us.
you know, the common--
real
humanity.
where tears salt
the food. make oceans
of our water glasses.
yes, its true.
while our tears may fall
and fall
fall
.
we.
unlike (lucky) you,
DOnot.
Nov 5, 2012
Nov 5, 2012 at 8:39 PM UTC
Hold it in
cut clean the vitals
How I see a simple procedure going wrong is the anxiety of the believer. The Optimist that fears the pessimistic balance. True lovers of the art.
Exhale
sedation equals Meditation
Minds wander when watching the reflection of ever moving sound and light through the world of water.
Sip the air in
Release the third eyes tears
A figure of speech. Or a meaning that only the experienced can speak for? But nothing is trivial in the pursuit and may it suit you so.
DOnot BlinK
Digging holes to sleep in
There is a goal of destruction. Caused either by thy self or the weight out on thy self by others. However this weight becomes lighter as I become stronger in bearing it. Should it ever be cast off I fear I would not exist.
Let the music in
Silhouettes are my truth
But now the doubt has been raised... The Cave men will now question their Gods. The banished becomes a Martyr of everyones self doubt.
Meet the eyes of your maker
Blind, Deft, Paralyzed
You can find them. I have them. Everyone and almost everything does. look deep, drink the knowledge and use it to cure. Become the knife to the weave of time and free our paths.
Become a monster
when getting hijacked in your car, drive into a large object fast, all the while stare at aggressor silently
A Monster is a matter of opinion. But I digress that it should be questioned whether or not humans can be monsters and no longer humans. To add someone who becomes a monster may never have the chance to become human. The odds are stacked against humans.
laugh in our beds for our sins
Hard Rock Balled
I don't mind good and evil. I don't much care for what they are. Experiencing them I care about.
Time fractals across the Insomniac Ramblers body
Criticize, Critique, Commit
Dream for others. Imagine the unknown. Believe in oneself.
Sep 18, 2016
Sep 18, 2016 at 2:37 AM UTC
A life they see,
Through their eyes,
Butterflies they see,
Fly in peace,
Their own lives not at peace,
Branded with whips,
Cut with knives,
Treated worse than animals,
Food so cold,
So raw,
Tasteless and sickening,
Have you ever dreamt of such a life?
Think about the other million,
Those who donot survive,
No food, no shelter, just pain,
Pray for the lot and bring about a change.
Oct 25, 2015
Oct 25, 2015 at 2:35 PM UTC
Shalom.
How are you?
Did you get happier, taller, smarter?
Are you happy?
I miss you.... I wonder about you....
Do you still remember me?
Would you recognize me if you saw me?
Shalom.
I donot know if I am taller
May be I am.
I think I got darker, but well, my color always changed.
I try to be happier each day.
I definitely found some peace and quiet...
Its comforting.
Shalom.
What are you like?
I remember your face, your smile.
I often joke about your weird laugh.
But I also miss it.
I hope you are smart.
Remember you always knew the right answer.
You just have to think about it.
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 1:35 AM UTC
I feel like I cannot feel again
The depth is gone The edge is gone
I'm emotionless and stoic
I'm static and white noise
I donot feel anymore
I'm dangerously numb,
All I do feel is anger burning holes in my skull
So full of words begging to be let out.
I'm so lost in my nest of decisions
I regret my flight and my freedom
I regret everything I did n didn't do
These feelings are for me
And shall consume me
Till there are only bones and ashes
But I don't want to regret anymore
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015 at 6:31 AM UTC
She could be more lost than anybody as though no akin
She could be more distorted than the moon's skin
She could be more sceptical than what eclipses bring
She could be more pessimistic than March equinox
She could be more cynical than the devils in abyss
She could be more sadistic than Harley Quinn
She could be more ghastly than decapitated heads
She could be more dead than a corpse itself
But when she rose,
You know ?
She attributed him in nothing
His relics are buried
And I ?
I donot care with delight by my side
May 14, 2019
May 14, 2019 at 4:20 PM UTC
Breathing maliciously, I procure exponentially. My defeat is all but a matter of time.
I slip down that slippery hole that enters or rather exits into my mind.
I eventually stare from the side lines. Potentially no more option, Left with blind eyes.
I wander from room to room unmasking every sin and every lie.
Until the rooms are empty, I transpond images. I assure you there is no silver line.
What a chilling cauldron it becomes beneath all that I find.
The destruction lay wait to repair with so little time.
If I donot hurry there will be nothing left to salvage. I will be stuck here for all of time.
I cannot emphasize the importance enough that I must leave at the sound of the right sign.
Further below and further behind. I have been bound to this bed with a hope that I will hear a sign.
The time has come I hear drug out beep and see a flashing light.
The battle is won, now to begin a new life.
Apr 17, 2017
Apr 17, 2017 at 11:27 PM UTC
He sits in a Office
All shiny and bright
Thinking of ways not right
He goes to places and spreads hate
To crowds of people who are Foul
They are like Lions Hungry for Meat
Caring for nobody and care for nothing
They feed the Liar with Vitirol
Harming themselves and will get nothing
Fools following a bigger Fool
The Stupid are Lemmings
They donot know what they do
We still have hope if we open our eyes
Get rid of those who only want hate
if not we seal our fate
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 12:19 AM UTC
Have it your way Robert you want distance and to be poor white trash in the streets of Nashville with no health care, no home of your own accept the men'mission and theroom in the inn at 705 Drexel Place. You want to be a Peter Pan, awomanizer, anda want to be musician which has not transpired into anything. You are a vagabond hobo and just because you have a a stretch at Clancy's Cafe does not guarantee yoy a place the lime light' You donot acknowledge m[y little tokens I sent you have it your way. Karma will get you I promise one day. I will not even try to reason wirth you. I hope and pray you are happy with street ***** you pick up on-line and they find out all about you and kick you to the curb.
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 4:01 PM UTC
We always had conversations.
Texting, alot. In the middle of the night, day.... or early in the morning.
When the rest of the world was clearly asleep.
I'd stalk you and text you immediately I saw "online"
Every one thought I was stupid for loving you
I donot know, but can't say I was.
That evening I heard you were back.
I rushed off to see you because I'd missed you.
I wanted to talk to you.
You offered to drive me to the mall.
We had alot to talk about and catch up on.
You told me about her like I knew her.
And maybe at that point I actually knew her through you.
Your descriptions, admiration.....
And just how much your face lit up when you talked about her.
I was happy for you.
She was still giving you a hard time.
Hadn't said yes yet.
And you were impatient for it.
Even when I had every right to be sad
because in my mind, you were mine.
Always had been.
I was happy because one of us was fighting for what they wanted.
She was your type.
Big *** and hips.... ***** to die for... great body.
And me.... just normal. Nothing too big.....
Yet you preferred too big. And that she was.
We talked about her for a while, at least you did.
And all I did was listen and smile.
You were happy and that made me happy as well.
Only difference was, only one of us,
This time around, had hope.
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018 at 7:15 AM UTC
The witching hour is almost home
At the point from where she left yesterday
She said she had some places to roam
When I asked her to stay.
It was when my tear- drop did twinkle
I heard the clock ticking
The air of melancholy somehow dwindled
As she went on singing.
I admit I am a midnight lover
For it disguises itself into a person like me
Not like those whose reality is covered
By the multitude of opinions they never wanted to be.
I live the sleep I die for in bed
By doing the things of my choice
I dance recklessly and donot tread
For once I find myself rejoice.
And sure I am a midnight lover
You will find dark circles under my eye
Keep gossiping until you have more to discover
Of the secret land where I fly.
But listen my dear ones
What I just found is what you all look for
To snuggle down when you 're fatigued of the run
To the other side of the door.
Heart is still beating
And you are here to stay
Live a life to which you want to cling
So there are no regrets ,when without you another night changes to day.
I
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 12:18 PM UTC
A man is only loved by condition and a man has no peace unless he has purpose in his heart. How is a man measured? He is measured by the amount of responsibilities he can maintain. How is a man defined? He is defined by how he stewards his responsibility. This complex world can be so simple and yet so many questions can go unanswered. Sometimes what we view as success is not always what we view as a success later on in life. You can sacrifice all that you are to others and yet sometimes your always gonna need a little bit left for yourself. Sometimes you can take it all for yourself and loose a part of you in doing so. I have seen the greatest people let me down. I have seen the hopeless turn their lives around. I have ran the fields free and now I am at a stop light. What I have always dreamed never became a reality. I am always just making it by the skin of my teeth. Articulating in my mind all the things I wish I could be but never having the courage to fall on it completely. I have so much shame and defeat. I lay it as an offering at God's feet. I pray one day we can actually meet. I cannot teach myself something I donot know. So I come as far as what I know. I hate that I cannot achieve the success I have always dreamed of. I hate that I let my wife down. I want to be something so much more not just for me but my entire family. I want to break the mold and take care of my family. I want to do great things and make my wife proud. I want to treat her with all I make. I want to give her a life thats better than what I can give her. All I can offer is not enough, she deserves so much more.I want to be a better person but I can only do so much. I feel so limited. I wish these walls would fall.
-RSC
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 12, 2018 at 10:34 PM UTC
After remembering you
for all these time
I have just forgotten you
I am happy for nothing
and I am sad for nothing
I try to remember
the eyes that swallowed me whole
with awe and ardor
and I remember eyes with tornados
where I lose myself in despair
I try to feel your lips
that tasted something like
soft cotton candies slowly melting on my mouth filling me with all the sweetness
and leaving marks on me, red and raw
and I feel my lips dehydrated n dry
like ancient ponds at the end of our locality
I feel my hands which feels like
it has at some point felt something
and I donot remember that touch
I have forgotten how you look
and every next lady walking down the street resemble you
Everyone smiles at me for nothing
I sit around the corner of the old broken bus stand
waiting for nothing
Just trying to remember if
we had ever shared any love here
My shoulders waiting for someone
to rest their head on it
My fingers trying to tiptoe over
arms n thighs, I suppose
I have forgotten you nice and well
May be this was the place where
you kissed me last time
before I started to forget you
But I do not remember who you are
I forgot you hard and bad
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 12:09 PM UTC
in a void of noise
in the in-between light
in the border of shadows
in the verge of tears
in the corner of a smile
i am everywhere and no where
i cannot find myself
i cannot find meaning
i look in the mirror
sunburnt skin
deep chocolate eyes
dark mane and sharp lips
i see nothing behind my eyes
no spark
i am somewhere i donot know
donot recognize
my heart is the only constant noise
and the only memory left
on my impaired brain
is you
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 3:02 PM UTC
Donot dwell in past
And have no dreams for
Future
Concentrate on the present
Why we dwell in past?
Those memories have
Lot of impact on our mind
They seem real yes of course
But from past
It no more exists
Good or bad we have to
Let it go
And be strong
Don't fear the situations
Remember
They are here to test you
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 11:49 AM UTC
Though accumulated
power and wealth,
A King was depressed
with anxiety and bad health.
Once he saw a man
With peaceful face,
Mind without qualm
and not in any haste.
He approached the man
and asked ,O peaceful mind,
Life turning out to be mess
Have mercy , please unwind.
You must have seen
The heaven and Hell,
Please show me the way
King started to yell.
Mocking at him
With viscious smile,
Replied the man
Your effort is futile.
Asking useless question
such an idiot you are,
Heaven and hell, imaginery
Donot you know so far.
Being humiliated
And filled with Anger,
King raised his sword
and man was in Danger.
Instead, man laughed
This all I had to tell,
Glorifying self ego
is the way to Hell.
You have broken my ego
and have given a dent,
Realizing his mistake
King started to repent,.
If you desire for heaven
Man said with pity in eye,
Ego is the only obstacle
which you have to pacify.
Ajay Amitabh Suman
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 7:24 AM UTC
Paint me in black and whites. We are only as dark as the starry blue skies.
Stretching my arms ever wide, exposing my vunerable points until you stab me inside.
What commandeth you so? What exactly do you know? What gives you the right to look down on me beneath your filthy toes.
How you dangle them so, how it angers me inside that you would feel so self riotous to judge what you donot know.
You are not God. Your someone I turned to learn from, Instead you squander all my works and torment me, degrade me and affect everything around me.
You are not my friend, you are an enemy.
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 14, 2017 at 8:11 PM UTC
In this life time.
I sit at my office desk.
Its the same room, same furniture, same computer.
I look at the same art piece every day.
Same faces seated across the room. The same old routine.
I donot hate it, its just my boring "normal".
But in my mind.
Its one of those days. With just enough sun .
Seated at a window in a beautiful apartment.
I love the ice cream melting in my palm.
My love will be back in hour.
I cannot wait to see his face.
I look across the room and see the dress I just made.
I'm happy here, I love here, Id stay here.forever....
Every morning me and him go jogging.
We then make breakfast together.
playing and laughing like children.
I look at him and I love him, deep down, I know he loves me too.
I watch him walk to his car, and I get ready to design a new dress.
I am very happy. so happy.
But in this life time, I'm just at my desk, and its just another basic day.
And when I get home tonight, it will be to a quiet, lonely house.
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 7:52 AM UTC
No mom as you said , I donot cry for sympathy. I wish I could tell you what kills my soul so slow that I don't know. No mom as you said, I donot cry for attention. I cry not willingly, I cry because I see through my heart. And I don't know what's wrong and right or whether there are people like me, but when there is noone ,there are only tears.
Jan 1, 2018
Jan 1, 2018 at 11:01 AM UTC