my heart is an ocean
unpredictable
calm and stormy
a blue force
that hides thousands of secrets

many have wandered
out on my untameable seas
but my waves have dragged them
my love drowned them

but you
you are the only one
that can sail through my heart
the only sailor
who knows the ways
knows what will happen next
you know the semantics
know the secrets bellow
you know what places to approach
and which ones are better to stay far

and it pains me so much
that after months of sailing around
you always go back to the land

i shall sweep the floor
shall draw the curtains
and water the plants

i shall smell the flowers
tug you in good night
shall read a book
or at least pretend to do so

because it is so sunny right now
the sun blinds my eyes
the warmth burns my skin
ripping it apart
but i shall not complain
for warmth is always good
right?

and i shall tolerate your bickering
shall understand your shouts
and nodd at your wrongs,
close my mouth shut

because it is sunny here
so so sunny
or so you say
but how do i truly know
how can i know
if the sun is simply a lamp
if the flowers are plain plastic
if the dust is never to be gone
if the ivy is actually dead

how can i know
how can i think
when all i can see
is the horizon
tainted in black
making its way here
a threatening shadow
lurking in the distance
setting up a trap

how can i know
that i’m not falling
for the tricks of the unmask man
how can i do
to repay you may debts in time
to be useful
not a waste of space
not a waste of cash

tell me so i can make it better
so i can make the strike softer
because you know who is coming
and baby your arms are not strong enough
to hold back the storm

there’s this constant pain
on the left side of my chest
monotonous and never ending
soft but deadly

i feel it when i wake up
when i am about to drink my tea
when i watch the roses fade
when i lay awake at night

since you are gone
this pain has kept me whole
been my friend
my lover and my ex
never truly leaving
but never truly returning

the pain is beautiful
i suppose
because after all
it lets me feel something
inside this endless void

it rythms with my heart
paints your soul
it is the pain i pay
for loving you so

i have noticed
that the butterflies
follow me around
they flicker their wings
caress my cheeks

why are they so enchanted
by my old mess
my burnt skin
my scarred hands
my dried tears?

they kiss my eyes
shine on my feet
decorate my hair
every day there’s a new one

and i every day
i close my eyes
breath in deep
and feel them dance in my lungs
trapped by fabrics
of ill cut and sorrow
and just like that
i blow and blow
open wide my arms
let my mouth scream
they fly away
and into the world
into your eyes
and all around

i wish i could change my stars
wish i could reach them with my hands
place them in my eyes
mold a new fate
start anew

i wish i could erease the past
wipe it clean
paint a new begining
a new me
a new you

i wish i could create new words
gift then to you
so you could sing them to me
play them on your strings

i wish we could love as we once did
forget what was
bleed a new story
spoil us with love and happiness

i wish for so many things
to change our stars
our lost love
our forgotten hope
but the stars are far away
and my grasp is too weak
to hold you in my arms

i walk beside the sea
sing at the horizon
at the fish and birds
i look into the deep blue
how it gets greener near me
how it’s so blue far away
how your eyes were  just that blue

and then
the waves of your memory
crash into my rocky heart

and before i realize
you are by my side
walking shoulder to shoulder
you slip your fingers through mine
palm to palm
and i stare to your eyes
a vivid riptide staring back
and the freckles the sun gave you
smiling at me around your rosy lips

and before i realize
i have left my body
i have left earth
i am somewhere else
up in the sky
walking with you

my bare feet kiss the grass
feel it tingle between my toes

my arms burn on the sun
feel it cook all the way up

my hair dances with the wind
feel it mess around in waves

my eyes close in sync with my heart
feel the life of you

and i climb to the sky
grab the sun with my hands
let the love burn
it is supposed to hurt
i would give it to you
the sun and the other stars
accept my humble gifts
accept the love i give

for the rain can come suddenly
and god can comand a flood
and the pretty flowers
don’t need that much water
and the little animals
don’t know how to swim
so accept my heart
take my sun
let it all be okay
let god not interupt
the beautiful circle of life