Have you ever watched a wild horse’s rage when they try to tame it in? Or ever watched a wild leopard fight back, when they Try to steal it’s skin? Have you ever watched a lion’s fierce roar, when they try to cage it in? Like the wild, leave me.wild child.

My love flow like  rivers, It comes deep as the seas. My emotions can be contagiously calming but can change like the ties of a raging sea. I don't know where I am going, but I know where I been, I desire to live like the wild, I rebell when cage in. Living to be free, Independent spirit of a loner wolf. Jane to Tarzan? yea... I would live like them if I could. Wishes to be unconstrained by society.  How could I be put in a box. When you have courage like a lion an strength of an ox. Can not be compared to a thing, or an ordinary human being. Gypsy by heart, obsession for freedom, born bohemian Queen. Though control over others can be a blessing, more of a curse. When flesh and ego bound by unresolved past, turns me into the worse. But my awareness of it all, picks me up from the fall. and leads me back to soul, when I hear divinity call.  Ancestors guide me,Truth in the stars. Moon child in chart. Pisces in sun. scorpio by ascendant, Venus ram thrives, I see God in the sun. My soul is undefined, Old fashioned and style. Mind me like nature and love me like the wild.

Have you ever watched a wild horse’s rage when they try to tame it in? Or ever watched a wild leopard fight back, when they Try to steal it’s skin? Have you ever watched a lion’s fierce roar, when they try to cage it in? Like the wild, leave me.wild child.

We are rotten now.
You are rotten, moldy, putrid with disease.
I'll separate my pristine state from you.
Get the **** away from me.

You are rotten now.
You are contagiously, disgustingly rotten.
I'll pretend there's still some use in you,
Throw you in the compost, forgotten.

You are a memory.
Overripe, painful, noxious.
You were a part of me.
Infecting, stinking, rancid.

This is my goodbye to you
This is the routine compost.
This is how I say, "We're through,"
This is how I let you go.

Even on the coldest days of winter, there is a much colder creature who lives in the caverns and chambers of the rocky cliffs by the shore line. His name is Palytrus, he resembles what most believe would be a devil. Palytrus is the only of his kind that he knows of. He has searched ocean floors and dug through grains of sand searching for anything that resembled what he sees in the reflection of the water. He feeds recklessly. His darkened emotions drive him to leave his meals soulless, countless, and dead. Palytrus believes by getting rid of others, he'll find what he's looking for. He thinks if he can clear the land, he’s bound to find someone like him. And he does.
While hunting under the waves for the few birds and fish that feed on the bones he leaves, he sees his reflection above him. He knows it is not him though. He has swum this way for as long as he can remember and when he sees this, he panics. He shoots up and startles the other creature. He exclaims he's been so lonely and he's so happy to find another. She speaks, she says her name is Galo and that she came to see if there was any shelter in the area but notices that there is not much food. "Something has been eating everything and the birds and fish are becoming so rare here." Palytrus knows this because he has had a hard time looking for food as well but he cannot tell her he's responsible for the greedy extinction of food he caused because of his anger.
But his anger is lifted, all he wants is for her to live so he spends days and nights hunting. He shows her the cavern he calls home and she stays while he hunts. He brings her as many animals as he can find and every time he watches her with a smile, content that he has found someone relatable.
Galo awakes one morning and finds Palytrus is dead. He starved himself for her, he gave every ounce of food he found to her. She wept by his side as she ate him, not because she was hungry, but because she wanted him to be a part of her forever and not picked off by whatever other animals remained. She left the cavern to find food. She found the place he lived and pried very lonely, much like Palytrus but what she failed to tell him was behind the caves and the ledges he had been living, lied another beach, full of food and others just like him. She was so flattered by his hospitality, she never thought to tell him.
Galo went back to her home and told the others she had found safety from the harshly cold nights they had been familiar with. The others were thrilled to know they had a home and traveled to Palytrus’ cave. Realizing there was no food, they would send packs out to the other side during the day to gather and come back to the cave to feast together at night.
Galo told everyone about Palytrus but told them a slightly different story. Instead of telling them he had starved to death after depleting the food supply for her, she told them he was a selfless being who left his home because he was contagiously and deathly ill. She told them that he wanted the others to survive and grow and for them to live fulfilled and bright lives. This was true, he didn’t want anyone to feel like he felt for so long. Galo, aware of the truth, never told a soul she fed on the one who saved them, but never let anyone forget his name or kindness either.

Waking in darkness to brainstorming moments
Warm under covers on this freezing morn,
Recalling the instants of yesterday’s sequences,
How they developed and how they were born……

“Moving with grace in a form fitting garment,
Curves in the shadow light tauntingly near,
Beautiful lines in a moment of weakness
Titillate senses erotically clear.”

“Watching the mouth of the bigoted warbler,
Watching him spout his idolatry spiels,
Rhetoric of mind bending, **** licking garbage
Image of self is the place that he kneels.”

“Urgency now with insurances deadline
Making provision for payments now due,
Juggle the baksheesh for paying the piper
Or the cruelty of bankers will cauterise you!”

“Laughter arouses the happiest moments
Merriment opens the faces so well,
Emotively gracious the giving of laughter
Contagiously, wonderfully ringing the bell.”

"Uncomfortably caught in the midst of an untruth
Unconscionably really, can’t call it a lie,
Got caught in momentum of tale in the telling
Upsetting me now to the point where I cry.”

"Can’t recall why, but I know there’s a matter,
Ripping my britches to try to recall….
Something importantly, now to be dealt with
Frustratingly lost in the fog of it all.”

"Harmonies rise like a mist in the temple
Delicate cadences rise and they fall,
I wonder why God allows this unbeliever
To sing with the Angels in his Holy hall?”

“Running my fingertips over her curvature
Feeling the ***** line plummet to fall
Knowing the thrill of elicit collusion
Anticipate promise of wanting it all.”

Sudden alarm in the midst of a waking
Urgency calls at the dawn of the day,
Heaving my soul into frost waiting fingers
Leaving my dreams in the warmth where they lay.

Marshalg
“Pukehana Paradise”
Auckland NZ.
22 June 2013

Prophet  Ezekiel I finally brought about his company he was the prophet who want to see a sea creature for a long time had been walking back int osee looking sideways at a ******* like me and knowing I noticed that he was not looking back at me because my *** is all eyes on the ocean I just came out of saw it shot down and saw it die in vein I was drownding and had not one person to tell by all mean I was on land as eziakal was in his dream to God Ahh Ezikal was prizedforward what every prophet is a bag of seed an instance when the drop there dream of there furry cat and and have to organize the people to get up off there ***** and plow the land so excited all the people they even invited the people who got exciled for the dream of the sea said it all because how the **** could you explain one group participating in the the bitter riverly as confusion and chaos to get over there because have would eat and half would not because they knew they all knew yes they were in for a time of thinking and who was going to take the first shift they were pros they have done it before the ifrst time they did it thhey all aggreed we will figure it out its alright and at the point they would of starved they didnt hell ya they just knew and everry thing was alright the second time ezijkal came to prophet they split it into a group of 9 for 9 lives and one group stayed and the 8 others left by all mmean we are going to rain on your parade befor they left whoever figured yep went and exsiled them selves and when they got back yep by then they all thoug ht it was an exctatic idea so heavenly rightious till they started discussing it and Victorious said wait hold up you all meant when it rains you will remeber us and come out of hiding and not care if we had died or not die? becazuse I swear I and the rest of these ***** sensed you saing we will ****** you gifted ***** if you dont get up and plow and we all laughed cause it was so funny that you would even say som and on the thing one guy said by all means and was eziakela again he got but ****** excited after he just hookked up that dream of the sea thing again and when he quited down **** no he couldnt it woulnt of mattered if he was at teen challenge at church when one of those mother ******* got down on the floor and prayed to god for and instanence eziakel ya he left outside and laughred so loud for so long the whole hour went by and he just calmed down about 3 minutes probley two before they all came aout and said nothing to him ya bit  in my fable that was the point of ezical to follow in the foot steps of the other prphets even when he ****** everythong up cause he was the only only one left by the time he was done telling them about he sea creature as yep he was not contagiously laughing his *** off but with viwers after an hour ya i can picture everyone fucly in the air with there heads listening and when he stated to talk about the sea thing he looked out in the distance and he swore it was behind him though becuse he had never spoken to an audence before and and ya when you speak to an audence and there terrified and keep wanting to look back at what you fist peered over there heads to see but you did not quite ever peer the same again for yep about an hour yep ezikial kept looking behind him to the point where he made that mother sea thang remebered and said o ya it was when I was standing sidways I always looked to my left but one person in the group yep only the the I d the baby zelda alwasy when standing sidways looked to the right and yep large yep overlooked why did she look to the right because yep the mirrors were to the left and the door that she was smokeing crack behind was to the right the window was always behind her and the pictures were alwasys in front of her before she she went to leave to her MARKIES house she would picture herself there and then pick up the mess of clean clothes yep over and over again and throw them not in but behind the hamper so she could hang them when she got home so she could hit her crack pipe on the florr befor she took off down the stairs to the front door and saw the wood yep I was hitting the crack pipe and not positive so i will dismiss which way my head was swaying when I thought back to just poping anut with my ***** as i turned from the hamper towads **** I finished that hit and would take anothe an 1 more for the mere  realitty that i could not figure for positive sure why i would alwasy come to i had it boxed up back then like you guys and i do now.

On the evening of my sixteenth birthday
I remember curling my hair with an iron and
burning the tips of my fingers pink,
mumbling pained words under my breath
that I probably shouldn’t ever repeat
unless I desire to live beneath the shadows
of adult eyebrows being raised so high
they might never come back down

as if they had never said something like that
before

that night I put on a silver dress,
and lipstick so red it almost gave the illusion
that I had been bleeding from the mouth
but I felt unstoppable, so why not?

“why not” was the question
that was always replaced with stone-cold silence
and the shrug of a shoulder
instead of an answer

that night, I blew out sixteen flaming candles
and felt beautiful,
surrounded by the smiles of friends I had met in high school
and ones I had known since the days when our only worries
revolved around who had the prettier Barbie doll
and who held hands during recess in the fourth grade
and these thoughts caused my stomach to somersault because,
now that we were illuminated by candlelight and the brightness of celebration,
everything had changed.


I blew out my candles and did not wish
for a car, or a new wardrobe, or for more
faces to call my friends, but rather,

I wished to be taken seriously.

I knew there was a deep-rooted problem
when I became acquainted with real love for the first time
And everyone said that I was too young, too incompetent to understand
What that word even meant,
That I was silly for believing that such a concept could exist
When you’re sixteen and five and a half feet tall
and not that great at chemistry or parallel parking
and can barely even hold up a strapless dress
as if somehow that dictated
that I was too small, too stupid to realize that
love was something much bigger than I am
but I did.
I do.

And there is something so contagiously twisted
That lurks in our society like a epidemic
The idea when your age lies between thirteen and eighteen
you are not really a person
that instead, you are a shadow of ignorance that sleeps all day
and clothes yourself in different shades of apathy
and that the only things you care about are
alcohol-induced parties on Friday nights and
losing morals and hours of sleep while gaining temporary highs
as if that is the highest I will ever go in life

you have to be kidding me.

because you might look at someone like me
and snarkily remark that I never look up from the screen of my phone
and you might think that my taste in music is repulsive or that
I’m only holding his hand because I love the thrill of letting it go,
and you might think that people my age have brains
that contain only a spoonful of intellect and the rest is just
empty space filled up with disease
but maybe it is time that your pedestal falls
and you realize that the older the wiser
is hardly ever true at all

I have witnessed lives spiraling out of control

the truth is not that we are dirt
and no, I am not taking pictures of myself unclothed
or chatting with strangers in online rooms
maybe the reason why I’m on my phone
is because I’m talking my best friend out of killing herself
and I’m researching time travel and why the happiest people hurt the most
and a cure for my own depression
and better words to fit my poetry
I am not equal to the garbage you see kicked to the curb of the street
Or scenery while you ride on by in your horse and carriage

I am just as great
As someone who has spent 80 years of their life achieving
And if time is uncontrollable
Then why am I being treated like somehow,
I have not chosen to be here long enough to know anything at all

And one day I dream of having my words praised for the truth that they are
Rather than having eyes roll back in guilty judgment
Because I have not lived as long as you have
And yet I am the one writing the words

Because yes, I am sixteen.
I haven’t even been here for two decades
but I do not search for happiness in empty glass bottles and clouds of smoke like you think I do
and I do not play with hearts like they’re made of matches
because I know that they burn
and when I tell him that I love him
I am not doing it to **** time
and I know that life is sacred and
impossible to retrieve once it’s gone and I am not going to waste
the precious seconds of my own aching until someone decides
that maybe, I am worth listening to.

Because I know that I am.
And on my sixteenth birthday,
as I smiled scarlet in every photograph
I was right--
I am unstoppable.

Three, three blind mice God once sent to me.

Wonderful angels that couldn't see all that I could see.

The third one I want her to see, to see that she's more special than she gives her self credit for, that she brings out the best in me.

& if she didn't believe it before this then I'll  just have to show her she's special going from A to Z.

She's completely Adorable like a baby the first time they taste a lemon thinking its a sweet fruit.

Excessively Beautiful, Sight dominating beauty that makes you wish there was never another sight you had to look to.

Her personality radiates a  gathering passion capable of making the coldest hearts turn Cupidity.

So daring in many ways, completely overly Dramatic at times but who isn't? One of the most dependable people I have there for me.  

Completely Essential, it wildly puzzles my mind how I managed to survive 20 years without her essence in life.

A mouth smarter than Sheridan at times, a attitude hotter than 99 degrees and 100% humidity, she's sure to make a Feisty wife.

She has a smile so attractive that's always Gleaming brighter than when you check your phone in the middle of the night and the brightness is on full blast.

Excessively Honest, almost to much sometimes, like when referring to my looks but nonetheless the type of honorable that makes relationships last.

I've never told her this but there's times when I glance at her & she looks nearly Identical Katrina Kaif, just more real & original, not some crafted photo.

She possesses a spirit that is perfectly Jovial. It's contagious & nurturing, my spirits seem to sink in a little every time she or I have to go.  

Foolishly Kindhearted, over willingly to give to the people she cares for and willing to forgive those she shouldn't.

Rarely a dull moment with her, she's so Ludic anytime I've tried to refrain from laughing at her I simply couldn't.

She's firmly Memorable, unforgettable like a first kiss, first car, or the first time you were asked to prom.

She's needed in our everyday nourishment, soulfully Nutritious, as much needed as a nap or a mom.

Contagiously Optimistic, her faith and positivity always rejuvenates me to make sure I keep that same faith she has in her life.

It is a gift to anyone to be able to look into her Prepossessing gaze, it's alluring like diamonds in her eyes.

Such a Quixotic woman, at least in my eyes. She herself might not agree but I think it would bring this out of the best of men.

Undeniably Royal, we must all bow to her, serve her hot chocolate & warm her blankets. I see no difference between her & the Monarchs they had back then.

Her hugs are Salubrious to the sick, healing & gifting strength and hope, a gift that has no price.

In life we can't trust many but she's undoubtedly well deserving of the label Trustworthy never will any relationship with her be rolling the dice.

Unique, but unique is an understatement. There are other Courtney's but there isn't another Courtney & if you knew her you catch my drift.

Any bleakness she experiences is like a Vociferousscreech to me and it becomes a priority to stop it, doing anything I can to help her mood shift.

An enjoyable kind of Weird, just different. I've had an off the wall friend in the past but she's gotta be 3x more enjoyable and outrageous as he was.

Personally, I hate her X, or anyone that has hurt her for that matter and I'll never forgive them even if she does.

Majestically Youthful, Courtney will mature through life but never age, in 60 years she'll still be running up and down WaWa aisles and I watch still disgusted from the comforts of my wheelchair.

The day she comes into anybody's life she makes that day their life's Zenith & I pray she's around for the rest of my years.

Prophet  Ezekiel I finally brought about his company he was the prophet who want to see a sea creature for a long time had been walking back int osee looking sideways at a ******* like me and knowing I noticed that he was not looking back at me because my *** is all eyes on the ocean I just came out of saw it shot down and saw it die in vein I was drownding and had not one person to tell by all mean I was on land as eziakal was in his dream to God Ahh Ezikal was prizedforward what every prophet is a bag of seed an instance when the drop there dream of there furry cat and and have to organize the people to get up off there ***** and plow the land so excited all the people they even invited the people who got exciled for the dream of the sea said it all because how the **** could you explain one group participating in the the bitter riverly as confusion and chaos to get over there because have would eat and half would not because they knew they all knew yes they were in for a time of thinking and who was going to take the first shift they were pros they have done it before the ifrst time they did it thhey all aggreed we will figure it out its alright and at the point they would of starved they didnt hell ya they just knew and everry thing was alright the second time ezijkal came to prophet they split it into a group of 9 for 9 lives and one group stayed and the 8 others left by all mmean we are going to rain on your parade befor they left whoever figured yep went and exsiled them selves and when they got back yep by then they all thoug ht it was an exctatic idea so heavenly rightious till they started discussing it and Victorious said wait hold up you all meant when it rains you will remeber us and come out of hiding and not care if we had died or not die? becazuse I swear I and the rest of these ***** sensed you saing we will ****** you gifted ***** if you dont get up and plow and we all laughed cause it was so funny that you would even say som and on the thing one guy said by all means and was eziakela again he got but ****** excited after he just hookked up that dream of the sea thing again and when he quited down **** no he couldnt it woulnt of mattered if he was at teen challenge at church when one of those mother ******* got down on the floor and prayed to god for and instanence eziakel ya he left outside and laughred so loud for so long the whole hour went by and he just calmed down about 3 minutes probley two before they all came aout and said nothing to him ya bit  in my fable that was the point of ezical to follow in the foot steps of the other prphets even when he ****** everythong up cause he was the only only one left by the time he was done telling them about he sea creature as yep he was not contagiously laughing his *** off but with viwers after an hour ya i can picture everyone fucly in the air with there heads listening and when he stated to talk about the sea thing he looked out in the distance and he swore it was behind him though becuse he had never spoken to an audence before and and ya when you speak to an audence and there terrified and keep wanting to look back at what you fist peered over there heads to see but you did not quite ever peer the same again for yep about an hour yep ezikial kept looking behind him to the point where he made that mother sea thang remebered and said o ya it was when I was standing sidways I always looked to my left but one person in the group yep only the the I d the baby zelda alwasy when standing sidways looked to the right and yep large yep overlooked why did she look to the right because yep the mirrors were to the left and the door that she was smokeing crack behind was to the right the window was always behind her and the pictures were alwasys in front of her before she she went to leave to her MARKIES house she would picture herself there and then pick up the mess of clean clothes yep over and over again and throw them not in but behind the hamper so she could hang them when she got home so she could hit her crack pipe on the florr befor she took off down the stairs to the front door and saw the wood yep I was hitting the crack pipe and not positive so i will dismiss which way my head was swaying when I thought back to just poping anut with my ***** as i turned from the hamper towads **** I finished that hit and would take anothe an 1 more for the mere  realitty that i could not figure for positive sure why i would alwasy come to i had it boxed up back then like you guys and i do now.

Prophet  Ezekiel I finally brought about his company he was the prophet who want to see a sea creature for a long time had been walking back int osee looking sideways at a ******* like me and knowing I noticed that he was not looking back at me because my *** is all eyes on the ocean I just came out of saw it shot down and saw it die in vein I was drownding and had not one person to tell by all mean I was on land as eziakal was in his dream to God Ahh Ezikal was prizedforward what every prophet is a bag of seed an instance when the drop there dream of there furry cat and and have to organize the people to get up off there ***** and plow the land so excited all the people they even invited the people who got exciled for the dream of the sea said it all because how the **** could you explain one group participating in the the bitter riverly as confusion and chaos to get over there because have would eat and half would not because they knew they all knew yes they were in for a time of thinking and who was going to take the first shift they were pros they have done it before the ifrst time they did it thhey all aggreed we will figure it out its alright and at the point they would of starved they didnt hell ya they just knew and everry thing was alright the second time ezijkal came to prophet they split it into a group of 9 for 9 lives and one group stayed and the 8 others left by all mmean we are going to rain on your parade befor they left whoever figured yep went and exsiled them selves and when they got back yep by then they all thoug ht it was an exctatic idea so heavenly rightious till they started discussing it and Victorious said wait hold up you all meant when it rains you will remeber us and come out of hiding and not care if we had died or not die? becazuse I swear I and the rest of these ***** sensed you saing we will ****** you gifted ***** if you dont get up and plow and we all laughed cause it was so funny that you would even say som and on the thing one guy said by all means and was eziakela again he got but ****** excited after he just hookked up that dream of the sea thing again and when he quited down **** no he couldnt it woulnt of mattered if he was at teen challenge at church when one of those mother ******* got down on the floor and prayed to god for and instanence eziakel ya he left outside and laughred so loud for so long the whole hour went by and he just calmed down about 3 minutes probley two before they all came aout and said nothing to him ya bit  in my fable that was the point of ezical to follow in the foot steps of the other prphets even when he ****** everythong up cause he was the only only one left by the time he was done telling them about he sea creature as yep he was not contagiously laughing his *** off but with viwers after an hour ya i can picture everyone fucly in the air with there heads listening and when he stated to talk about the sea thing he looked out in the distance and he swore it was behind him though becuse he had never spoken to an audence before and and ya when you speak to an audence and there terrified and keep wanting to look back at what you fist peered over there heads to see but you did not quite ever peer the same again for yep about an hour yep ezikial kept looking behind him to the point where he made that mother sea thang remebered and said o ya it was when I was standing sidways I always looked to my left but one person in the group yep only the the I d the baby zelda alwasy when standing sidways looked to the right and yep large yep overlooked why did she look to the right because yep the mirrors were to the left and the door that she was smokeing crack behind was to the right the window was always behind her and the pictures were alwasys in front of her before she she went to leave to her MARKIES house she would picture herself there and then pick up the mess of clean clothes yep over and over again and throw them not in but behind the hamper so she could hang them when she got home so she could hit her crack pipe on the florr befor she took off down the stairs to the front door and saw the wood yep I was hitting the crack pipe and not positive so i will dismiss which way my head was swaying when I thought back to just poping anut with my ***** as i turned from the hamper towads **** I finished that hit and would take anothe an 1 more for the mere  realitty that i could not figure for positive sure why i would alwasy come to i had it boxed up back then like you guys and i do now.

She sits inside a class and listens with respect;
She sprinkles in some new ideas only when requested,
Though I know her head is bursting with bright thoughts.

She has an average face but her smile lights you up;
She laughs contagiously and never disparages life,
She is the girl you cannot hate.

my life me dream
where do you seem to be?

here?
or in fantasy

in me

past, present, future?
Contagiously disinfect

my bad nurturing close
my wounds with

kissy sutures,

cleanse me sanity with
your oh so sweet words.
Comment
me
back
to this world, balance
me
upon your curves.
for chances
are,
it will turn out
my past is presently,
me destiny.

Two coffee shops, one left one right, ancient
History of modern Rome, post-war families saving
Ethiopian delights, surviving selling beans rebuilding
The Eternal City, bringing back normality by drugging

Insanity. I knew them both since I was a child, holding
My father’s hand while he drank, the elixir and I
Ate my tramezzino looking up at his smile. Contagiously
Spreading the good vibes as he joked, with young

Bartenders sons, of local bar owners serving
Residents. Went to each yesterday, one for cigarettes
The other, for corretto, another way to gulp a drop
Of spirit disguising, in the tiny cup, of a dark mask.

Young tapsters have grown old yet remain, brewing
In solitude, relatives absent some departed.
At the cashier two Chinese ladies discovered, to be
The wives of new owners, foreigners employing

Italians, weird products of migration, for ambitious
Populations conquering integration, as their kids
Go to the same school as mine and locals mock
The change, living in the glory of the past, when

National espresso only charged, seven hundred lire
European currency exchanged, in ninety cents for those
Who don’t know, triple its original price. My bank
Stuck in the middle of the two has also changed

In twenty years, my first account at eighteen
Transformed, me into the witness of many comes
And goes, directors and vice, bankers and services
Evolving to reward, my loyalty with fraud.

Two nights ago it shamelessly stole, fifty euros of me
Claiming, inexistent liabilities on a contract that had none.
Peanuts to unconscious holders, asking explanations
To hear clerks remark, they have no idea and will

Eventually know in ten days time, when the statement
Will sentence the crime, as legal commending me to shut
Up, accept the theft, give thanks. Going tomorrow to grab
A coffee and close, twenty years of history, mine.

Quickened quicksand putrified as blackened pepper,
Doth thou remember?
Or art thou to young to forget?

Propagation stuns contagiously,
Raging promoter's think hastily,
How provision like they are!!!!!!!

Swell in their heads,
Like a baby still unfed,
Feet stuck in state shoes like old southern style pickled jars!!

The puncture of force trembles to the gravitational world,
Where men art small,
Women art tall,
Dancing on tables of wine and pearls!!!

Moody atmosphere here is monosonic,
Monopilizers monstrous to federal gain!!
Some socks stay threaded,
While bedsheets they use for you to hang!!!

Misconcieve your own livings,
Give your own thanksgiving,
For you stole thine native land!!!

No change to stay at large,
Mitigater of quickened sand......

Remeber when being around one another seemed effortless?
Often you and I, him and them,
she and her would all be together.
Forever felt longer before it expired.
The bittersweet, overy competitive affection
was contagiously repulsive.
Now and then used to be then,
never now.
How else would you descfive what happened?
Or are there alternative endings---
where I begin
and you win again?

I didn't know you could do that.
Your perfectly shaped almond eyes
Filled with power and promises
Telling me we are forever

I didn't know you could do that.
Your reassuring, gentle touch 
Tightly, holding me so closely
Your precious possession to be

I didn't know you could do that.
Your unforgettably bright smile
Ever contagiously joyful 
Whispering I am all you need

No, i didn't know you could lie

As a child I struggled many a time
With notions of rights and wrongs,
Searching in the voice of parents
Through approval and scolding
Lessons to identify misconducts.

As an adolescent I began to challenge
Conventional behaviours striving
To find my peers’ admiration, long
Considerations over good and evil
To become someone deserving high regards.

Entering adulthood I withdrew from the gaze
Of others as no one knew who I was and who
I intended to grow into, making my own rules,
Relying on instincts to drive, religious
And philosophical reflections to call mine.

Now that I am half way through I realise
Each and every human being stores
In the depths of its consciousness a truth
No mask can hide and no one can deny.
Keys to the glorification of humankind,

Being faithful to oneself by living
In the light of love, contagiously spreading
The energy of kindness, getting rid of lacerating
Desires of vengeance, retaliations for our own
Frustrations, based on illogical self-contempt.

As I ponder on justice I have ceased to dwell,
Eye for an eye or turn the other cheek,
As the illuminated essence within me
Inevitably resolve to peace. No revenge serves
Any purpose if not that of perpetrating evil

To the detriment of humanity as a whole.

I miss you
                   I miss you
                                      I miss you so much it hurts

And every bone in my body wants to tell you just how much I miss you

                        My brain is spinning in circles

    I find myself

                  Hiding in the holes that were your home in my heart

                                                    Curled up in the places that you used to fill

I miss you so much that it’s hard to breathe

And I begin to think that the word “miss” can’t fathom the depth of longing and heartache that I feel
I don’t believe that, that simple word begins to encompass the pain the plagues me in my every moments

I see you in everything *
                                              I feel you in everything
                                                                                     I hear you in everything

Laughing in moments you would’ve enjoyed
Giggling contagiously as I recounted stories to you

I am torn between the pull that desires so deeply to run to you

                                            Wonderful
                                                                Great
                                                                           Incredible
                                                                                             You
And then the cold bitterness caused by the betrayal that you so easily allowed
Reminds me that I am to remain strong and never allow you to be apart of me again

But,
       Oh how I miss you
             I miss you
               I miss you
       Dear god how I miss you!

But you
              You hurt me so that I would rather deal with the pain and emptiness that remains in the remembrance of you

This loneliness that I feel even when I’m surrounded by people
Can’t even begin to compare to the torture of knowing that

No matter how much I love you

You’ll only ever hurt me

Over
                     And over
                   And over    
                                                                                                                  Again

Two half minds
One that shines,
Contagiously calm and placid all the time
Surreptitiously serene,
Always natural, fluttering and sprightly dancing,
To the tunes of melodious concurrences
Doesn’t understand anger or any defeatist feelings.

The other half, not so easy going.
Can act rashly all the time.
Selfish to the core,
Spew hatred and venom, owned all the ill’s reservoir.
The devils are here,
Negativity is vast and petty thoughts everywhere.

Does the wicked know why it act this way?
There’s no truth in him, for he is cruel and a dejected ennui
No one can apprehend his anguishes,
For all the books are written by God’s allies.
Cast away, putrefied in the underworld,
The devil learned the hard way.

The two half minds, are not dual anymore.
They have become whole again.
Not completely angelic nor always have demonic vibes.
For whole is everything,
The darkest desires, the inner sufferings
The Utopian splendors and the heavens colliding
To form what complete us.