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Reset to the history of what life once was. chatted unknown territory might turn out to be better than what was known.
I’ve been Stung, Stabbed and Scared
But That last one,  cut close to my heart
Then shields goes up. Swords come out.
Love won’t be there anymore, I dropped that cup

Pain to me goes deeper than most think. I’m tough enough to take it, but I hurt like the next... don’t you think?

Most will look at muscular built woman and think “shes way to strong” but won’t assume that physically and mentally she’s had to fight that long.
I can’t assume but people treat me that way. Like I have it easy and have it made. Like I don’t have to fight to go far. Like I didn’t have to sacrifice with bruises and scars.
I saw the lowest, but didn’t make sense to keep looking down.
I was the weakest but didn’t make sense to wear a frown.
Ive  betrayed but the knives couldn’t **** me
I made up my mind long ago, that I will not lose to negativity. That I will only kneel for those who walk with me.
For those who paved a way for me because the odds were against them. I serve with respect to live out that mission, for that alone I’m set apart.
So whats a purposeful meaning  to a broken heart.
your why has to be bigger than your hurts
Janielle Green Oct 2019
I easily sense the unfulfilled and suffering desires of silent needs.
Which typically finds my light to nurture, heal and please.  
I hear what most won’t say
I see the missing pieces
I feel their pain
Magically I became the hero known as the Sacrificing Pleaser.
Experiences of an Empath
I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else."

And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply.

And I wonder how many of us feel the same way.

How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family.

How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone?

People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them.

I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights.

There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive.

I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger.

You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war.

We're warriors.

"I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else."

Tonight, I'm telling all of you.

I survived myself.

And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too.

It's not easy but you did it.

And I'm so proud of you all.
The original quote "I dont know how many times I survived myself, without telling anyone else.", which triggered the whole poem was written by @deadwatered. A talented poet I follow on tumblr.
Janielle Green May 2018
My current situation is not my destination
But preparation filled with painful and loving situation.flawless perfection, forgiving expectations. Designed preparation  built for Greatness.
Life is not happening to you, you are happening to life. This to shall pass. Pass it and be Great
Janielle Green May 2018
They say the squeekiest wheel get fix
And the loudest baby get the attention
But when it comes to love they forgot to mention
That the quiet ones are desperately in need
I yearn fix, I want your attention, Im just discrete
I exsist and want your love, so don’t forget about me.
Deep Fear of opening up to another.  still healing wounds from the last battle I lost. War called Love.
Janielle Green Apr 2018
You will have to excuse me if I show off
You will have to excuse me if I’m blunt
After years of being push around
Heart aches and let downs
Excuse me if I choose not to be in the back
But live in the For front

Excuse me if I come off strong
After years of being put down
Backed into a corner. Theirs hands around my neck. Forced not to talk or breath
I wasn’t in fear but thoughts were you just wait till I get what I need. I will Be Free

So excuse me if I come off fearless, bold and unphased.
I’m just living life and overcoming and the suffering phase

Now my voice mighty and loud
Bursting through every door. Im coming back for everything that god had behind those doors.

Im claiming back my power
I have discovered a Queen
I’m focus on greatness and my destiny
with fire blazing around me, pheniox has to be seen
So if you see me coming, you will have to excuse me
Pheniox rising from the ashes. She will either ignite a fire within you or burn you. If I come off the wrong way, you will have to excuse me.
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