It started softly, a touch, a smile,
A fleeting moment that stayed awhile.
Two hearts unguarded, a love untamed,
A fire within they could not name.
Their fingers twined, their souls in flight,
Two beating hearts in the hush of night.
But darkness watched with jealous eyes,
And hatred wove its wicked lies.

For in that land where shadows grew,
No joy was meant to wander through.
The servants of evil, bitter and sly,
Plotted in silence beneath the sky.
Yet love was blind to the creeping threat,
Their souls in a dance they’d never forget.
Under a moon of silver glow,
They lay embraced where the rivers flow.

She woke to dawn with a tender sigh,
Gazing on him as the stars passed by.
His beating heart was her sweetest song,
A melody steady, soft, and strong.
Yet far away, a whisper came,
A haunting call that spoke her name.
Drawn by a tune both strange and sweet,
She rose and wandered on silent feet.

Through forest shadows, dark and deep,
Where ancient winds would cry and weep,
She climbed a hill where a castle stood,
Its gates adorned with gems and wood.
“Turn back!” the rustling branches pled,
But forth she went where angels dread.
Within those halls, all gold and grand,
No warmth or welcome touched her hand.

She called aloud, but none replied,
Her voice was swallowed, echoes lied.
She turned to leave, her breath grew cold,
And saw a mirror framed in gold.
But in its glass, a curse was cast,
A circle of witches, shadows vast.
They bound her there in chains unseen,
To serve their will, their wicked queen.

She cried his name, but he lay still,
Dreaming beneath the starlit hill.
When morning came, he woke alone,
Believing her heart to be turned to stone.
She watched him leave, her soul in pain,
Called out his name, but called in vain.
Imprisoned now, her spirit thin,
She prays for hope, for light to win.

Once she danced in love’s embrace,
Now darkness veils her gentle face.
A servant bound by evil’s creed,
She longs for love to set her free.

Sometimes I whisper the words, “Are you okay?” into the empty air I breathe just to hear what it would be like to feel someone care, but who am I to change the convention of the polite and smiling reply of, “I’m good. How are you?” Would anyone really know how to react if I actually said that it depends on the day you ask me?

The truth is,
today
I’m not okay.

I don’t know what I will get each time the… (I would say the sunlight opens my eyelids, but let’s be real here; I don’t really sleep anymore.)… I know why this happened to me the first time, but now? Maybe it’s because I learned how to feel again. I guess depression doesn’t really need a reason, though, does it? At the very least there is a big difference between now and seven years ago.

This time, I know my worth. This time, I’m fighting back, instead of drowning in it. This time, I am strong. And this time… I don’t want to die.

This time, I am actually reaching out for a hand to silently hold mine just to comfort me for even a minute. The only problem is everyone else has a life too. People love to say, “I’m here for you,” and, "I’m praying for you,” but they are too busy to actually to that.

Every day I get up just before the crack of dawn to lace my running shoes and pump my legs long enough to replace the stale state of my lungs to something fresh and clean. It’s the one thing I feel I have control over in my life.  It’s my chance to get out and feel like I’m a part of the world before the rest of the world wakes up and reminds me that I’m just a tiny piece of it.

For most of my life, I’ve felt like I am the missing piece to a puzzle that I can’t find. I’ve always felt different in a way I don’t know how to put into words. It’s just a sense of myself I don’t feel I need to explain. Not long ago, that feeling started to go away, but I think God may have misplaced me when he tried to fit my pieces together.

There’s a silver castle on my way to freedom, but I can never quite reach it, and there’s a silence that swallows me whole each time I steal a glance in its direction. Today, I am not okay. Tonight, I just pray that the next time my feet step out of bed and onto the soft carpet of the home I finally found for myself, I will feel a little bit better.

I suppose that’s all I can ask for at this point.

"Four - Breaking Even"
February 4th, 2014
Valerie Viele

I am a creation. I am a maiden. I am a creator. I am a crone.
I am dawn. I am noon. I am evening. I am midnight.
I am a girl. I am a temptress. I am a neither. I am a goddess.
I am a daughter. I am a *****. I am a mother. I am a lineage.
I am a sister. I am a best friend. I am a vague acquaintance. I am a messenger.
I am a child. I am a ******. I am a lover. I am a wife.
I am a princess. I am a beauty queen. I am a damsel in distress. I am a warrior.
I am a daisy. I am a snapdragon. I am a rose bud. I am a lilly.
I am a smile. I am a wink. I am a laugh. I am a snort.
I am a frown. I am a cold shoulder. I am a forgiver. I am a resolver.
I am a question. I am a questioner. I am a question mark. I am a answer.
I am a butterfly kiss. I am a bumble bee sting. I am a cicada hiss. I am a caterpillar tickle.
I am a cupcake. I am a box of chocolates. I am a glass of wine. I am a bowl of oatmeal.
I am a doll. I am a model. I am a celebrity. I am a infamous figure.
I am a game master. I am a rule-breaker.  I am a tyrant. I am a player.
I am a brat. I am a train-wreck. I am a witty retort. I am a knowing silence.
I am a ballerina. I am a dancer. I am a performer. I am a choregrapher.
I am a goodie two shoes. I am straight "A." I am a graduate. I am a mentor.
I am a tomboy. I am a mess. I am a fresh-pressed suit. I am a mumu.
I am a sneer. I am a red pair of lips. I am a pout. I am a broad grin.
I am a skinned knee. I am a bruised ego. I am a battered soul. I am a healed heart.
I am a piece of candy.  I am a piece of work. I am a master piece. I am a peace of mind.
I am a bubble gum "POP!" I am a whip-smart "CRACK!" I am a below the belt "BLOW!" I am a humble "WHISTLE!"
I am a kick. I am a slap. I am a hit and run. I am a sly trip.
I am a hug. I am a kiss. I am a ****. I am a cuddle.
I am a favorite. I am a nobody. I am a somebody. I am a everybody.
I am a challenge. I am a one-sided opinion. I am a worthy debate.  I am a open mind.
I am a bicycle. I am a fast car. I am a train. I am a stroll.
I am a pony tail. I am a bleach blonde. I am a practical bob. I am a braid.
I am a bracelet. I am a gold ring. I am a necklace. I am a bead.
I am a broken bone. I am a victim. I am a rescuer. I am a nurse.
I am a singer. I am a song. I am a composer. I am a listener.
I am a leader.  I am a runaway. I am a follower. I am a team.
I am a bubble bath.  I am a long shower. I am a quick rinse. I am a ocean dip.
I am a pond. I am a frozen lake. I am a waterfall. I am a river.
I am a castle. I am a tall tower. I am a skyscraper. I am a bridge.
I am a banshee. I am a blood-curdling scream. I am a yelp. I am a squeak.
I am a pretender. I am a liar. I am a deceiver. I am a revealer.
I am a sob. I am a woe-is-me. I am a wallow. I am a single tear.
I am a why? I am a why not? I am a no. I am a yes.
I am a sleep over. I am a house party. I am a coffee break. I am a tea time.
I am a today. I am a now. I am a tomorrow. I am a yesterday.


SSK<3

steady hues, shifting
blues surging, nature pulling
mans castles back down

He saw her through the tower window.
Silhouetted by candle light
Her beauty quite breath taking
On this cold November night
High above the tree tops
Imprisoned in the stone
She was far too pretty
To be trapped up there alone
So he fought his way to the top
This damsel deserved his best
He slaughtered the mighty dragon
Blood smeared across his chest
He made his way to the door
And found to his surprise
He could not break it down
Because she barricaded the inside
A scream from the room
You fool she hissed and said
I want to be here by myself
And now my pet is dead!
You ruined my castle
With your disgusting little plight
I am no damsel in distress
And you sir
Are no ******* knight!

'Beautiful stalagmites and stalactites!' 'Clayton, this cave has breath!'

Do you feel the air?' 'The air movements are strong and prevent our death,

But they can extinguish the lamp.' To lead the way, he unrolled many feet

Of rope to mark their exit in case of being disoriented in this huge 'suite'.


They named the other one Queen's Chamber, because it was small.

It was a dim room, twenty feet high having a nice circular white wall.

After an amount of stooping, crawling, scooting, and squirming, while

Passing through damp trail ways over pits and breakdowns of the aisle,


Through tight keyholes, they reached a lake of water. Then, they have

Transported wood, to build a boat, and to explore the other part of the cave.

On the other side of the lake, they saw a room looking like a stone quarry.

After that, they recognized the finished stone house in its greatest glory.


They saw that the refreshments were served, consisting of tea, coffee,

And dressing, but the people weren't inside, yet. Surah took a toffee

And two of the numerous huge lamps hanging on the right cave's wall.

They heard a strong music and many loud voices coming from the ball.


' Imagine this, Clayton; we were bending, crawling to pass through

So many tight spaces in order to find that this cave is my sister's clue.'

'It's one single cave having two parts, which are separated by the lake.'

'Let's go home!' said Surah maliciously smiling. 'Anne is a real snake!'

(Of course, Queen Anne was not a snake. The old castle was built around the cave and those two chambers were used to protect the kings and the queens all over the time. The legend of the beast was used to protect the other entrance in the cave during many wars taking place along the time. )
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

They were floating back until they reached the shore of the other side.
She dropped two lamps in the water, and left the boat being in a hurry to hide.
They blocked the entrance of the passage, and their lamp started to tingle.
Clayton bumped a paddle against the wall to pass, but it sounded like a jingle.

They opened the metal door, and then they climbed up the tower‘s stairs
To get into the secret room. There, they saw two beds, a table, and three chairs.
On the table, there was a golden little spindle being full of golden thread.
'They use this gilded altar to pray for Jezebel', said Surah turning her head.

To be continued......(tomorrow)

Cold beauty
Sing to me
Frosted breath
My lungs carry notes above the mountains
Hold me while we lay  in this bed of snow
Keep me warm so I know
That you will never let me go
In this ice castle we sit
Upon our throne
You the king
And I your queen
We have no gold
No maids to cater to us
No authority over a court
We simply build up riches of love
Your and mine
And combined
We could own the world
Bring forth the wine
Sliding on ice floors
Open doors
Windows high
Believe to touch the sky
Sing a lullaby
Don't let me go
I've suffered enough
My life has been tough
Just keep me warm
And show me love
That would be enough
And my heart would be yours
This is forsure
My king
My king
In this ice castle
My dreams will come true
Without a wish upon a star
Without a wish tossed down a well
You are mine
And I am yours
Because in love
I fell

See-Through Memories

Didn’t you notice?

I rented this apartment,
next to your favorite gelato spot,
Lavender Gelato or whatever it’s called…

Didn’t you notice?

I came back to Budapest,
just to see you,
and also to buy an apartment too…

Don’t you remember?

When I promised,
not to leave you and asked,
for the same promised and you promised too?

Don’t you remember?

When I offered,
you everything this world has to offer,
and all I asked for was a few moments?

I guess we all break our promises…

And now I’m left to watch the waves,
come and crach,
against the castle in the sands,
that we made with our grand plans,

you were going to draw the pictures,
and I was going to write the words,
we were going to create a book,
and share ourselves with the world,

you promised,
you promised you wouldn’t leave,
and that’s exactly what you did,
and love is blind and that’s why I didn’t see…

Can’t you see?

How alone I’ve become,
how all I really ask for,
is a friend to exist here when I feel all alone?

All alone.

A poet who’s words are his only home,
and I don’t know what to do to communicate with you,
so I left you alone retreated to my thoughts and wrote you this poem…

Dear Beloved,

I know there are no words,
that haven’t already been said,
and I know even if I write you everything,
there’s a good chance it won’t be read,

but I write to you anyways,
because that’s what loyalty will make one do,
even though we met spent some time and then you left,
quick and almost automatic like one two…

Where are you?

Where are you reading this from,
do you feel as outcasted as I do,
when you walk these streets in a run?

Hello,

I’m still here,
even though it feels like the world is ending,
and the future is completely unclear,

we’re on unstable ground,
and I’ve retreated to my addictions,
so I smoke a cigarette and think about you,
then I write it all down and call it fiction,

since when,
was it cool to lose all emotion,
I’d give anything just to see you feel,
something anything more than nothing,

no way,
anything I’m going to write or say,
will change your mind or make you feel differently,
hell I don’t even know if you’re going to read this,
but that’s okay because we all go away anyways eventually…

So I guess this is goodbye.

I guess this is some sort of farewell letter,
as I write from my apartment,
right next to that shop,
that one that sells gelato made of lavender…

Do you remember?

I rented this apartment,
next to your favorite gelato spot,
Lavender Gelato or whatever it’s called…

Didn’t you notice?

I came back to Budapest,
just to see you,
and also to buy an apartment too…

Don’t you remember?

When I promised,
not to leave you and asked,
for the same promised and you promised too?

Don’t you remember?

When I offered,
you everything this world has to offer,
and all I asked for was a few moments?

I guess we all break our promises…

And now we’re left just wasting time,
waiting for the rumored apocalypse,
doing whatever we think we’re supposed to do,
as existence existing in what we believe our existence is.

I’m sick of this.

Sick of this body and all it’s accompanying emotions,
I see why you feel better when you try and feel nothing,
because honestly constant musing can feel confusing,
so you’d rather just shut off completely from any feelings…

Hello,

I’m still here,
even though it feels like the world is ending,
and the future is completely unclear,

here,
I wrote you this love letter,
in a humble attempt to arise from within,
those feelings you hide that will help you feel better.

Please,

I’ve already accepted we will likely never see each other again,
all I’m asking is remember one thing,
true love is more rare that you think so no time for pretend,

I know,
believe me I’ve been through a lot,
I’ve hoped loved gained it all,
I’ve broke everything I’ve made and everything I’ve gained I’ve lost,

because you can’t take any of this with you,
the scales of time are not on our side,
nothing is balanced and no one is equal,
there’s no where to run there’s no where to hide,

remind,
me why I write,
these words to you you probably won’t even read them,
because you’d rather listen to their lies.

Why?

Why?

Why are you not here?

When a man asked me why I was in Budapest,
I said I came back for a girl,
and when he asked me,
“Well then where is she?”
I realized I’d been fooled,

by you.

I flew,
across the continent just to see you,
I rented a place next to your favorite gelato spot,
I offered myself without any walls in other words to be see-through.

See you,
have so much potential to achieve anything,
and you had a pretty good chance to have it all,
but now all you’ll have are the memories…

Don’t you remember?

When I promised,
not to leave you and asked,
for the same promised and you promised too?

Don’t you remember?

When I offered,
you everything this world has to offer,
and all I asked for was a few moments?

I guess we all break our promises…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆


03/09/16
Budapest

This world is a prison
And plague
Also
Musty
Like a king without castle

This house was allowed to stand
For far too long.
Vacated months ago,
It is merely a monument of the past.
A memorial of what has been lost.
Condemned to neglect and termites,
Slowly eating away the skeletal fortress.

Whose intent to be a mighty castle
Withered into a creaking shack.
What we thought to be everlasting
Was unable to hold on till summer.
An allusion that was cruelly not a reality.

Windows busted out.
Siding slowing peeling away.
Leaks in the roof multiply.
The tiny problems we ignored early on
Transformed into halting hazards.

The only company it now holds
Are the ghosts of what has been and what will never come.
As I walk by this abandoned house,
The ghosts call out in mimicking tones,
Painfully reminding me of our past.

And so I burn it down.
Setting fire to everything I had ever known.
The life with you that I was so afraid to leave.
Destroying every tie I had to you.
Killing off every hope of your return.
It is painful. But necessary.
I cry now so I can be happy later.

Gather round
Perk up your ears
And I will tell you a story
I will kidnap your soul
Enslave your senses
My voice shall keep you rooted to your seat
And yet take you far away
To the highest tower of the darkest castle
Five stars right of neverland
Where dragons wait in golden caves
And knights with magic swords come to slay them

Gather round, gather round and hear the tale
Let my voice fill the sails
Of the ship that sets sail
For fantasia, far fantasia
Where prismacolor skies hang
Above the island hideaways of pirates
And the air will fill your lungs with fire
Fly away with me on the leather wings of a mighty wyvern
To the halls of Morpheus
Where dreams to shift and change and form
Where light and air and all things do bow to the king of stories

Come with me on a journey beyond the veil of time
To the place where they catch stars in silvery nets
And keep them in little jars to light the way
Gather round every one, as we begin our journey with a single step
A step called
Once upon a  time…

one day
always dries the tongue
always tense
future tense
i’m twenty three
i’ve set out to find myself
at least four times
from here
                                                  you can’t see what’s up there
                                  though its walls are made of windows
                                         i was up there once, and looked down

i asked why misunderstanding perception
and learned most of them looked out for the cityscape the lights sometimes.


s was a dancer
stretches and
taps to silent rhythms
knotted in her throat        in thought
sometimes at night
under lover’s sheets
they could flow from her lips
sweet hyperboles
and desperate understatements
and her shoulders would release
too soon
she was dead asleep
      
                                         t   the perfect audience
he was multilingual
even with small phrases and s thought::
please please think bigger
than you and me

t::
i want
shelves full
(with all of your words)
and we’ll cover the living
      walls
with framed cyprus and stone
it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok
today we are twenty three
i can feel your breath on my face
i am not domestic
every place but home
inspires me
a time someday for us
they’ve flourished
snatched in november like everything
gone
tell me
the glory days
are not
over
flow


is it possible
to be blown by what i thought
could never happen     could never have
never be
and
remorse for decaying dreams
                                                          ­                  a bibliothèque   a bibliothek
                                                      ­           its towers pierce through foliage
                                                         ­                               the center caved in
                                                              ­  only the letters b  i  b  l  o remain
                                                          ­   above the threshold    and some
                                                            ­               pages grip tight to the walls
                                                          ­                  insects inhibit the rest

    

  we stretch softer legs like fossilized rock
and feel shame in the pride once taken
in one day   i will give up everything
dance on tuesday nights      worship the sanctity of table talk     early mornings envisioning the thousands of events this corner no doubt witnessed  trek øyangen and for the first time fall so in love with snow and tomorrow feel that same ecstasy for the aegean ultraviolet a



of course there is not   that would be too **** logical


we fill to the brim spill into the other
the first time::
walking conciliation there were at least 8 others  the nervous ha ha release of the shoulders a timid forte   something castle passageway and cruel majesty if i did..no memory of any other exists submerged in the cascade i could tell
                          what was happening it was your turn finally
                  adventure bestowed
                           when i shouted
                                                    ­      italian for
...i know what you mean


other times
it’s boiling      steam clenching the small throat of the
archways screaming
like the baby in the room
hardly air still
dare not breathe
at burned hands only
wanting to
help me   


    october times:
                                                      i wander off the page
                                                            ­      its warm here
                                                     homesick rising   not
                                        for a house or manmade landscape
                                                       ­       i sunk my teeth
                                                       into a chance to hold
                                                        a beloved memory
                                                          ­were you pouring
                                                                ­ into me or i
                                                                ­                 you




—suddenly
location was
absent
only caffeinated confusion
words were never difficult now used all wrong
forte timida
you casually drank your pour over
as i searched for a changed thing

s to t:: how is it that we love so many and need so much more and still have room for each other?


                                   t::            i’ve built you a sanctuary
west coast luxury
east coast 1920
where surrounding trees are ablaze
you will not burn
in a city whose lights have no power over stars
i’ve wrought an iron balcony
for kissing
overlooking
a cobbled courtyard
for mornings
music
go there in the meantime
when you can’t remember
i’ll visit when you want me





my thighs
carry everything
ice cracks cold sweat   ears ringing rejection   history    home moving   not moving defense precision par excellence capablebutyoucutmylegsfromunderme
flying contraption­
leaving that behind
fast evanesce
a pounding like cutting
but breathing
normally

s to t:: only you let me
bleed



the hard-
covers
come
falling
a fantastic mess
the balcony
magnifique on fire

I know a Damsel in Distress.

Not in the sense of being bewitched or trapped in a castle far away.

Not lost, or stolen, or taken away.

She is surrounded by knights she deems peasants while she searches for a knight to take her away.

There are no warlocks, wizard, witches, or dragons in this tale.

No captivation, just her mind that locks her away.

I know a Damsel in Distress that I tried to save.

But she thought me a demon and pushed me away.

I can not see my hand in front of me
It's being swallowed by darkness
And maybe that's a good thing
Because the dark can hide scars better than any long-sleeve can

And that's why I love it so much
Because I never have to look at those horrifying lines at night
Those purple-pink scratches that have formed a moat around my wrist
But the thing about this moat is that it is too good at keeping the dragons out
Fire-breathing thoughts that storm into my castle

And don't they understand why I wear bracelets?
Apparently not because they ask me far too often
And I always have the same answer
Invisibility
Because it's the truth
These bracelets hide battle wounds better than metal armor
Because these bracelets are my armor
And these razors in my drawer are swords that are more familiar than the back of my hand

And yet, nobody ever notices
They never notice when I wear sweaters in 70° weather
Nobody notices the days I fidget with my sleeves because they aren't long enough
Because nobody ever pays attention to the sad girl
Nobody, except her razors

If, one day,  a fairy went to my room and grant me a wish, I would ask her to give a one day tour at fairy tale land.

First, I will seek Cinderella and introduce her the new released washing machine.  I will give her an elegant Primadonna shoes and create an escalator in Prince Charming's castle for her convenience.

Next, I will wake up Aurora from her nightmare with my full blast metallic rock music. I will give her the gift of gorgeousness and she will be called "The Sleeping Gorgeous".

I  will look for Rapunzel's hidden castle and give her a new pixie cut hair. I will suggest her to have an elevator in her elevated castle. I can endorse her Prince the microphone, so it would be effortless for him to shout  "Rapunzel! Let down your hair".

I will also go to Snow White and add bananas, mangoes and cream to her apple and give her the recipe of fruit salad. To maintain her white skin, I will give her BB cream and cherry red lipstick from Mac, for her kissable lips.

Lastly, I will take a photo with the fairy tale characters and post it on Instagram, with a caption "TOUCH DOWN! FAIRY TALE LAND"

there is light
and the angels beckon you
to watch them dance underneath it,
with it,
between the rays,
in it,
with a wish that after a glimpse
of salubrious sunlight and soulful sways
to the subtle beat of the Earth’s vibrations
and the wholehearted laughter of the Buddhas bellies
you will breathe in
and out,
the millisecond of a pause between
the in
and
the out,
you will stop
you will surrender
you will die for bliss
you will leave your body and fly to the
castle in the sky
toward the light
to dance with them underneath it,
with it,
between the rays
in it

I’ve been gone too long
Only now do I see
That everything in life
Crowds around me.

Where have I been?

I know it now
I stayed in my mind.
Like a worthless cow.

It was my castle
For that I am sure.
But it was a great hassle
To keep it secure.

----I was asleep

What did I do there?

I walked…
I walked day by day
Till my world turned grey.

I stayed in that castle.
Protected by my walls.
I walked for hours
In the countless halls.

----I dreamt

Am I still there?

I’ve out grown it now.
As it is plain to see.
Life’s great joys
Came to rescue me.

The confides of that castle
No longer apply
I am now life’s great vassal
I can now say, Goodbye

Goodbye my castle.
I have finally changed
And with you here
Things remain strange.

----I live, thus I change

How do I feel now?

I feel free
I feel for the first time
That I can see.

But my eyes are not needed.
My mind sees the truth.
Eyes show us nothing
Minds show us proof.

My mind shows me things
Things that my eyes miss.
My mind gives it meaning
My eyes just list.

Now that I am free.
And my mind seems to wander.
Past the simple things
That I used to ponder

No longer am I halted
No longer am I slowed.
Now my mind transcends
Past the unknown

It has given me ideas
Ideas so old and wise
Ideas of those…
Who have no eyes.

This is how I do decree
That I will live my life
Till life leaves me.

----I am enlightened

I am here to tell you of the trials.

Of the lies, implemented beguiles.
Those lacking, to be properly identified.
Society on a repeat like it was ******* Riverside.

Here to say I ain't got nothing to prove
lest you get delirious with the smooth words that you use.

Now I'll say the rhymes will get serious,
like you just got lost in a mysterious experience.

But I'm not saying that you gotta believe, coz son I make a career of trashing mc's.

Bigger--
than your brain stem follicles.
Now I've got you and so I'm finna follow you, into
decadent limelight.
Into,
the rhyme
just to prove I have got nothing to hide.

Rapping in an interim, a slap to the backside.

Super-sonic:
plastic gum-trees.
Heating it up to over 9000 degrees.

Your mind I'm gonna beat up
scrap monastics
rubber-johnny, or such as broken elastic.

Gimme the bone-knife, coz I'm gonna bereave
that boredom, of yours like swiss cheese.

You see--
I'm a superman 'lead,
so get ready for the critical sieve.

I come as smoke
and rap
this rhyme~
with raspy voice and anime streams
through sleepless nights.

Gonna take your
head and there's a chance

That I might
curb-stomp or filet it.
Maybe even give your *** a transplant.

Turn it 'round, and
turn it to clay, and I
don't mind.

Do you know what I mean?
Bumming around, roasting mc's.

Your rhyme dictionary
got nothing on 'deez,
for you see
I was simply never out to please.

My words, don't worry, I won't shove into your mouth
An unloaded gun pointed
north or south,
and I run my mouth even with nobody around.

And with texts I flex,
to create a veritable meltdown.

i come here to roast the mc's,
so you'd better get ready for me

The bricks,
mortar of the castle.
Nothing in my mind is going to be bashful,
when dealing with you...
You're like a plush shade of pastel;
like a car without grease on the axle.

Now you go and write some words so my retort can make some some common sense.

It's like I'm talking to myself on vyvanse.

Take me back to the land of sausage and mustard eggs.
Thick, meaty, juicy hunks of meat. Cylindrical and delicious, I miss the sensation of snapping the end of one off into my mouth fresh off of a grill.
Lounging on the castle lawn. Speaking three different languages in one conversation. Drinking confusing juice and cuddling up next to bonfires and talking all night long.
Sleeping in a cardboard box that needed a little ******. Loving new people every day.
Singing. All day long. Getting the words wrong until the leaves rustled just the right way reminded us what were trying to say.
I miss the Mother Land. The chill mornings and colder afternoons. Frozen over duck ponds and introducing the natives to the glory of tacos.
Ich liebe dich Deutschland. Holen Sie mich Haupt Ihnen.

I used to have a love for the ocean,
But now it's surely gone.
I laid delicately on the beach one night,
But I disappeared by dawn.
Even though they warned me the water was dangerous,
I built my castle on its sand,
I believed no one could destroy my sanctuary,
But you weren't something for which I planned.
When I saw your waves approaching,
I knew it was far too late,
For my walls were very strong,
But I was naive and left open the gate.
You threw me into your vicious hurricane,
Swallowing me whole,
You stole the heart I kept inside,
And all that's left was hollow.
You knew I had no defenses,
So you swept me away in your tide,
Even though you hid the smirk from your face,
You couldn't mask your pride.
I allowed you to be my ocean,
And you selfishly consumed every part of me.
It's just really sad knowing it was only one mistake,
*And I'd forever lost my love for the sea.

schools Not For Me
I Got A Black Rose On My Hurse
Inisde So Much I Hurt
So I Put In In A Verse
All Me No Re Reverb
My Cries I Know She Heard
I Don't Ever Get Replies
She Don't Ever Give Me Time
When I'm On Stage In Pretty Lights
You Ain't Getting Mine
My Heart Is I Rose I Chose To Give
You Let It Die
You Cant Just Walk Way
And Say That We Should Give It Time
River Side VIOLON Crying Giant
I Grew Wings That Sing
Through The Silence
IM Amazing I Am Alright
Every Day Mediditate And I Write
Passion Drips Through The Night
No Blood On The Knfe
All I Feel Is Velvet Sheets
Women Caressing Me
Extra Heat When I'm Inside
You Feel The Vibe
Put Me To The Side
Guess Your Just A Lie
I'm Inside On The Mic
Your Heads Over Sneaks
I'm Better Than Ya Ex
And I'm Better The Ya Next
Passionate Poet
Ladies Pockets Wet
Summer Time All I Rock Is Sweats
******* Ain't ****
We'll Not Yet
Cos They Sucubuss
That **** On *****
Of Awful Men
If I Hear You Knock At My Castle
Yall Not Walking In
I Deserve Abundance
I Been Shivering In Cold Wind
Now Winter Is My Favorite
My Grin ON My Chin IS  My Playlist
I Ain't Met A Person Like Me
Ima Diamond Im Lightnig Ima Gem
I'm Divine Alinging Perfect Timing ima 10
Angles Flying In
New Vibe With A New Side
New Money New Shoes Size
THE Beef Ain't With Me
I Don't Choose Sides
In Cali Mission Beach
Sand In Feet As I Chew Shrimp & Fries
You Ain't Here Cost You Lied
Oh You Can't Here
Then You Better Rewind
Without Friends Ima Be My Fine
Two Brother I Mother
Not Your Tylical Father
Air Port With Important Peoples
Daughter
In The Terminal
Grateful I Made It Happen
100 Dollar Plates
So Clean I Don't Need A Naplkin, For My Face
Bjzzy Crook
Really Did It Though
We All Start Of Little Dough
Roll Up To The The Work Spot
Drop A Songs Thats Summer Hot
Whos To To Say ThatSummers Not
Perception Changed
Dreams Obtained
Flying Through States
Eat Everything I Make
Don't Let It Go To Waste
The Ice In The Right Place Stays
Smotth Grove Moving Leather Skates
Katos Famous
Hes My Homie
You Don't Know Me ***** Wait
You Ditched Me Every Day
Women Wouldnt Let Me Take Me On Dates
Now Theey Pay To Come And Wait
TO See Me On The Stage
Pray For Me To Open Thier Jeans , Fill Em Up Deep
It Ain't All What It Seems
Now That IM Offical
I'm Taxing A Fee
Old Friends Heard My Track
Now They Asking For Me, Where Kato At
Glass House By A Creek
Pretty Classy Women
Beautiful Trees
I Am 1 With Nature
I'm Am Me And Iam Beautiful I Glow
I Flow To Float In Realms With Hopes To Find Home
My Heart Is Pure,
It Doesn't Get Rest,
No Space For A Face , That Makes Me Feel Less,
Idk Why  Your Contacts In My Phone,
When I'm Not A Worth A Text, Peeling My Bones
Although I Feel The Love From Your Pet,
Cos As I Pet Its, Fur Neck And Head,
I Can Feel Expression Unlike The Words That You Said,
I Am A Free Bird With No Nest,
So Ima Keep Going Till I'm In A  Casket Or Ashes And Dead,
Ahead of My Time, I'm Fast In The Head,
Fasten Your Seat Belt, Space Ship Melting The Stem,
I Hear Cries As Stroms Supply, A Vibe Of
Beauty In Dark Skies,
I Really Feel Alive,
I Really See My Eyes,
I Don't Read Between The Lines,
I Wont Change, I'm I,
Sober Not High,
MAster Of Mind,
Traveling Time,

—for Síneánn

We drove to a lost, lonely isle,
And where, if only once to find
Ourselves sown again, belonging
Wholly to the keep of faraway strands
That hours tided us in beads and wave,
The nascent sea whispering aloft and birds
Cascading as we flew, to sail under moving
And hoary dunes with stellar eyes of poppies
Wild, such breathtaking strides for we to make
And the sun set dripping and lowly swept ashore
Away to us on breaths of gentle crests breaking,
We spoke sundry nothings, as if to know things
So simple are to be kept wanting nor ever said,
The lonely, dull star of day fell sleepy, dimmed
By sparks, the shimmer to our eyes—

                                                               So clear,
Shall be the hills of the fair isle to us, will always
Remain caste with new lamb and crowned deer,
By thorn and thistle and rimmed with broken shells
Rung on marbled beach, singular, before innocence
And grace, by skip ****** lovers cradled in only sky
To be joined, with the lined hands of long night stars,
Finally reaching in the jeweled glass by the running
Grains polished, a gild castle moat, stained into ocean
Salt, always by the sea of windows glory and joys given
To each, ever to be ****** upon the high tunes eternal,
Beside the stations of grass and drifted heartwoods,
Among wings by the slip of tides, ripped monumental;

Till when we drove away, this time, in a carriage stall
And all the tumbles of sand into eyes crumbled to end,
We drove ourselves back to riven sleep, a stark beyond
The fallen wayfare columns of momentary paths, we cut
Home, trudging through the garden forests and inlet
Bays on serpentine road, always ever to cross—
A bridge of sighs.

There's a drawing on my wall
a pen and ink impression
of the old transporter bridge
- a Meccano masterpiece.

It's my Tardis, my time machine,
portal to a vast interior
of vivid early images,
sounds of a rumbling grumbling bogie
pulling me back through time.

The clatter as our boarding gate swings shut,
an alert pause in the varnished cabin.
We listen for the next familiar step,
the creaking **** towards Runcorn Gap,
passing over Aethelfleda's Castle,
the mid-crossing windblown waltzing,
the bustling landing in the other county.

Ritual is not specific to any race, ethnicity, culture, way of life or person.
Tradition, if not engrained and present, is despair.  
I remember moments in youth:
pungent, exultant,
bike riding sand castle building,
good old fashioned fun.  
I remember some moments of ten to fifteen years ago, I remember moments from 6 to 7 months ago.  
I've forgotten some.

I opened, read, and placed the money aside
from graduation cards.  I was surprised when I opened a card
received from campus ministry leader with no money, only a sweet note.
I counted the money happily, twenty dollar bills, fifty dollar bills, seventy-five dollar checks.
I checked my text messages, every seventy-five seconds
and heart skipped, slipped a beat when my mother calls and says
she's driving to Canada, she's got to get a way.

Really she's locked herself up at the Econo Lodge behind Big Boy's
only, approximately, eight minutes away.
And we drive up, and she presses her face to the motel window, door locked secure, and I press my hand up to the window.
But she won't let me in.  
She consumes, she consumed.
But she wouldn't let me in.

When I come home from my first year of school
I will tell her
I am an actress, too.

I know some folks.
They sink down.
Sinking dirt into the ground,
landslide and erosion.  
Buildings, structures depressed and falling in.
Make yourself bigger, I advise.  
Open your eyes, blink quickly between the palms of your hands,
face a window, if it helps.
See the light.
Did you see the light? I did.

Repression,
hold.
Hold.
Keep holding,
hold on tight to your bike handlebars.
Hold on to the straps of your book-bag until
your elbows cramp up stiff.
Hold on to your blankie,
rub it all over your body.
Inhale,
do not suffocate.

Exhale,
and feel good and bright.  
You've done something good for yourself.
Feel good about that.  
You've just brightened up your whole house.

I'll pick seashells for a century.
Build you a castle.
I'll pave each floor with
Individual grains of sand.

One for each breath I took
That carried whispers of my
Wanting you.
I'll carve pictures into the

Walls with my fingertips.
Spending years on each detailed
Feature of your smile.
Diving the depths of every ocean

For pearls to render it just right.
I'll mine with my bare hands
Through mountains' hearts for
The black diamonds of your pupils.

Foundations built with my bones.
My blood a crimson fountain in the
Centre of its innermost room.
I'll shape a throne from the ashes

Of your every threat. Facing a fireplace
Spaceous enough to hold suns.
Here, rest your feet on a stool of
Your worries. Behind a door so heavy

Only loved ones can open it.
No ill intentions may cross this moat.
Sleep in a starlit tower room,
On a bed of clean contentment.

Stronghold of pure, divine beauty.
As you are to me. I'd create it for you,
With nothing but myself. Just because
You'd never, ever ask me to.