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bxtch Feb 2014
It's 2 in the morning
And I'm *triggered already

My body is aching
While I stop myself from crying

It's 2 in the morning
And my stomach is grumbling
I want blood, guts, cookies and cakes
I'm gonna puke them anyway


It's 2 in the morning
And I lie awake alone
With no one to hug me
Or tell me I matter

It's 2 in the morning *
And I'm *starting to recall

Every single name I've been called
Just to push me off the ledge

It's 2 in the morning
And I'm painting with a twist
The twist is the fact
That my canvas is my wrist

It's 2 in the morning
And I've written my last words
I'm caught in the loop of paradise
As I tip the chair to fall off

It's 3 in the morning
And my blood is dripping
My parents are crying
While I died smiling

They open up the letter
And they wept as the read:

*Dearest cruelest world,
Look at what you've done
You've crushed my fragile heart
And please don't tell me I'm being selfish
Because everyone wanted me dead
Sure my parents are mournful
But it's because of obligation
Not love
My siblings won't mind
Since they'll just take my possessions
And I'm sure my friends won't bother
Since they've all left me
So at the end of the day
I've done this for I pitied
What could have happened
If I continue to let them hurt me
Those lonely nights when
you just don't know why
you feel so depressed and angry....
bxtch Mar 2014
Bring me back to the days
When sharpeners were just for pencils
Bring me back to the times
When dieting was just a choice

Bring me back to the place
Where the warmth could still reach me
Bring me back to the person
Who not once had teased me

Bring me back to the age
When milk was my whiskey
Bring me back to the past
When I only pretended to smoke

I guess it's too late
To bring me back to life
I guess it's too late
To pull out the knife

All I want now
Is for you to remember
And look back a the moments
When you made me suffer
To my dear parents
bxtch Mar 2014
I'm not the poet who uses sophisticated language
I'm not the kid my parents would be proud of
I'm not the student the teacher praises
I'm not the friend who people turn to

I'm not anyone's best friend
I'm not anyone's favorite
I'm not anyone's first choice
I'm not even my own believer

I want to fix my life
Yet I want to end it
I want to be better
Yet I'm tired of trying

What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be.
kendall Mar 2014
This is for the boy with lonely eyes,
Wandering from the freeway to the dark woods a mile away.
Fingers laced in his pockets with love notes she wrote to him
Before she moved away,
Across the states.

This is for the couples separated by oceans
Staying up until 1 A.M. to hear “I love you” over the phone.
Keeping exchanged letters in shoe boxes under their beds,
Crying into pillow cases left on cold mattresses.

This is for the little girls who get their hair pulled
Because their parents told them that means a boy likes you.
Disney romance day dreams at age seventeen
Getting bruises from boys pushing her against lockers.


Love unrequited or returned like ocean waves
Either way you’re still drowning.
No life preserver to hold you up because it doesn't
Carry baggage of four years.
Kiss the pale sun good bye,
There’s no oxygen in the hadalpelagic zone.
Hadalpelagic zone is the deepest part of the ocean hhhnng.wsndgiowsneio
R Saba Mar 2014
the sun shines crookedly
into the cracks that beat the light
into my head
and i blink away the weather, but only for a moment
as i am temporary
and it is forever
and i feel like forever too when i'm walking down this road
but if i look behind
my footsteps disappear into the melting snow
and i know that i will fade

but how? i feel like concrete
man-made and unmoving
while the leaves crushed into my surface
by rain
are the transient ones

i will remain long after i am gone, if only in spirit
since my mind and my body
have not been friends for a long time
when the time comes, i will cast
that shadow from my skull
and my thoughts will be the weather

if i beat you to it
(i don't dare think that thought, just this one time)
will you hear me on the wind?
will you smile back at the sun?

you know that you're the reason
i can say those silent words
and yeah, it's a burden
but it will be you who makes the sun shine

and now i'm done with that morbid thought

words, make me eternal
let each scrap of paper ***** with my letters
speak the truth, and nothing but
the stupid truth
but is it so stupid?
the truth, to me
is becoming less of a fear
and more of a blessing

and sure, it's still a fear
since the blessing scares me
but the sun has become less of a shadow
and more of a light
and i'm pretty sure that's a sign

i'm pretty sure you're a sign
that i should wake up and go outside
it's a cool/warm feeling, ain't that the truth
Anonymous Mar 2014
There's a something in the way
You make me laugh at your stupid jokes,
The way you **** your eyebrows
When you are confused in math class.
Something in the way you
Play with my hair,
Something in the way you
Write.
Your words could change lives.
There's something in the way
You're extremely modest
About everything you do.
There's a something in the way you
listen and understand.
There's a something in the way you
Can just look at me and brighten my day.
There's a something in the way
Our inside jokes never cease to make me smile.
There's a something in the way
You are spectacular,
You are perfect,
*You are you.
pushthepulldoor Mar 2014
Why did I do that?
Why am I being so cruel
to you and myself?
I shouldn't have let that happen.
I said we were done
and I meant it.
So why aren't we done?
I'm such a foolish little girl
and you're my heart beat.
I love you.
I hate you.
I love you.
For everything.
****.
****** ****** ****** ******* ****. AAAAAH ****.

© M.S.
Trembling hands,
palpitating heart
my vision starts to fall apart
my leg wont stop shaking
No, im not faking,
I'm just nervous.

— The End —