She craves his touch,
He craves her scent
Of passion all over his clothes.

She says "Let's be friends, because I can't commit"
He believes her.
But no. DO NOT TRUST HER.
Because what he doesn't know is that
She can't commit to a boy who is hurting
While she still looks for a cure.

Yes and she craves his touch
Just to fill up the void
Of the one who gave up on her.
But she cannot hurt him.
No she won't shut him down.
As he opens up to her.

So they live in a moment
In a dark parking lot
That some would call wrong but they call adventure.
And for that moment he is hers and she is his
And in that moment they are each other.

And though she won't give it all she'll give just enough
To make her not sleep and not eat anymore.
And he'll live on his days always believing that
"She can't commit."
As she bolts the door
To her heart.

"I love you." She says.
And gets a quick response.
But those three words
Have more meaning for one
Filled with bubbles and weddings and cigarettes.

"Don't go." she pleads.
And they stay there together
For a few moments longer.
She never wants this moment to end
Filled with bubbles and weddings and cigarettes.

"Let's run away." She suggests.
And hears a "Yes, right now."
She knows it's all in fun
But She dreams of those days
Filled with bubbles and weddings and cigarettes.

"Live with me?" she asks.
And she means it in a way,
To be together always.
But not in the way that She wants
Filled with bubbles and weddings and cigarettes.

"I miss you." She cries.
And nothing is said.
She breaks down inside
But She won't let it show.
All those bubbles and weddings and cigarettes.

You have no idea
How much your
Casual inconsistency
Messes with
My heart.

Quit being mad
At everyone else
For the bad mood
That you chose to have.

I respect you.
I'll protect you.
I care about you.
Nice ***.

She tries to keep her smile hidden,
To hold it inside of her
For just a moment longer
Before letting it out
All at once.

You don't need to hide your joy from me
Don't keep it locked inside.
Set it free for all to see,
We could all use a little laughter.
We could all use a little sun.

You're so light,
I'll say it again.
You put the sun to shame.
There's no other way to say it.
No other words can express
The way you light up a room
Just by simply
Being in it.

She stretches out her arms
And lets out a sigh.
Before pulling her palms
Above her head.
She's tired.
It's time for the sun to get some rest.

Cue the moon.
He walks in after a long day at work.
He hates it.
He wants wants to quit.
He wants to leave.
But instead,
He kisses me.

You're so smooth,
So wise,
So calming.
You give me chills
The way you shimmer
In the middle of the night.

Your tender lips
Form a crescent
Against your face
As they turn upward
To greet me.

Sunshine can be nice
But I'll spend my nights
With the moon.
I'll see you in the morning
My dear light.

Sounds
Of a familiar
Song

A tune
To follow
The bridge
To remind us
Of past love

The new
Unexplainable
Sensation

Of an
Old song
Taking
New roots

I'm lost
I'm lost
I'm lost.

I'm lost without your loving.
And I'm completely out of words.
And I'm completely out of rhyming.

I need you once again
To bring back that special something.
I need to feel your touch again
Just to bring me back from nothing.

You want me to write for you
But what can I say?
There are no words I can put onto paper
That will not open your eyes
To the things that I have kept hidden
For so long.

All else
Falls away
When I see your face.

Please stay with me
Always.

That feelin's coming back again
But baby don't you worry

Baby
Baby
Don't you worry

Don't you
Worry
Worry
Any.

You knew this day was coming.

That thought of slowly losing

Of falling
Failing
Choosing

Between one life and another

You knew this day would come.

But baby don't you worry

Baby
Baby
Don't you worry
Not your pretty little heart.
Not you.

You knew this day was coming
So
Baby
Baby
Don't you
Worry

Don't you
Worry
Worry
Worry
Any
More.

And I'm all ******* again.

You just don't get it.
I can't feed this addiction to you
Anymore
Because it's breaking me down.

You want to read my pages
But they're riddled with you
And you want to see my words
But they're all just your name.

And I need to learn to speak up
For myself.

And nothing's the
SAME ANYMORE

And I'm losing it
I'm losing touch with myself

Because I lost touch with you.

You stopped writing me.
I looked for your words of love
But they were no where to be found.

Because I asked you to stop them.
Because I asked you.
I did.

But now they're gone.
And nothing is the
Same anymore.

What if
Every time we showed emotion
It was all or nothing.

No middle ground.
No half-assed kisses.
No stupid side hugs.

Catch her eye and feel something
Grab her face and kiss her lips
All else is nothing in that moment.
And then you pull back
And you wait
To see her emotions in return.

Will she jump up and wrap her legs around your waist?
Will she become one with you in that moment?
Or will she feel nothing
And walk away.

At that time
You will know
Exactly how she feels.

No more of this guessing *******.
No need for any other
What ifs
If only we bared all.

Everything you feel
Every moment and movement and detail
Is played out with your every action.
Laid out on the table
And worn upon your sleeves.

"Ah, I see you love me."
They'll say as they read your pages.
But they won't need to read
Because you will be in their arms
By the time they look up.

And what if.
What if they feel the same.
What if they get to you first.

You can't tell me that you've never felt the same.
Because you locked eyes with her that one time
And it has stayed with you
Filed away in the cabinet of What ifs
Under the title of "Love at first sight?"

And she walks on
Casually filing away her emotions
In their neat little folders
In their neat little drawers
Constantly questioning
Her every decision.

So what if you act on them.
What if you kiss her.
"What if she says no?" you ask.
"What if he doesn't feel the same?" you question.
But what if
What if they love you.

What if we had to show our emotions
The moment we felt them.
And she would be with him
And he would be with her
And their love at first sight
Would be justified.

And you would grip her face
And she would wrap her legs around your waist
And you would never have to wonder
What if
Again.

If only
We bared
It all.

And I don't want the months to pass
I'm not looking forward to Christmas,
No Thanksgiving or
Halloween.
No snowballs or fallen leaves.
That's less time
For you and me.
Pause today.
Live with me.
No more holidays.
No candy.
No pumpkin pie
Or Christmas tree.
Just you. Just me.
This bed. These blankets.
Your eyes. Your lips.
On mine.
*No time.

Such a wonderful thing
To stay up late for.
To stay awake for.
To stay trapped inside this moment
Feeding on your foundation
And living in that look on your face
For.

Trying to be kind,
You ask me how I'm doing.

Baby, please stop
Talking to my heart.

You mean for your words to
Heal it

But they only
Tear it apart.

He lifts her off her feet
And he pulls her back inside,
She had come out of that closet
Weeks ago.

He grips her sides
And moves in close
With his heartbeat
Matching hers.

She lives within this moment
And she never wants an ending.
She's wrapped up in his need
For all she has.

She tries to pull him with her,
Bring him outside of that small room
So dark and closed and empty
In her heart.

But as she puts her lips on his
And he begins to move them downward
She loses all the thoughts
Within her head.

He accepts her and she knows it
And that makes her love him deeper
But he cannot understand
The way she feels.

When she's outside of that small space
She can feel all that desire
For the strength of his hand
And the small of her back.

But when she's back inside that closet
He is all that is within her
And she knows it would be easier
To just stay hidden up in there.

But it cannot be that simple
Not for her or for another
And she knows that she can't hide it
For this long.

So she'll let out all these feelings
In that small and empty closet
As he lifts her off her feet
And he pulls her back inside.

And just like that,
You're gone.

Maybe it's addiction
Or perhaps it is for pleasure
As she pulls the cigarette
Up to her lips.

And she knows she doesn't need it
But it gives this sort of feeling
Of a long time gone nostalgia
That she never knew she had.

And it makes her think of others
And their smell
And touch
And taste
In a way that only
Cigarettes could.

And maybe she's addicted
But if she is it's to their fingers
And perhaps it is for pleasure
But she finds it on their tongue
As she pulls the cigarette
Up to her lips.

Alcohol
Cigarettes
And every thought of you.

And every time I see you now
It's a brand new chance
To fall in love
For the very first time
All over again.

You visited me
And you asked me if
He holds me.

The way what you hold me.
"No."

And you came to me
And you asked me if
He craves me.

The way that you crave me.
"No."

No. No. No.

I could fill my gut
With "No."
Where you are "Yes."

I could live in your arms
I could feed off your passion
But no.

Because he holds me
In the night.
And he holds me
In the morning.
He holds me when
I'm sleeping.
When I never even
Know it.

And he craves me
Without asking.
He craves me
Without thinking.
Craving me
Is second nature
To him.

So
"No."
He's not you.
But you're not him.
And you were never willing
To be.

So go back home.
And give me back
The keys
To my heart.

I want to write you a song,
A sonnet,
A prose.
A sweet little nothing
That everyone knows.

I've tried to take others,
A common love song.
But they weren't for you,
No.
They were all wrong.

I wanted it to be special,
To be different,
Unique.
I wanted to make
Your knees feel weak.

But nothing was working.
Nothing was right.
I was ready for failure,
To give up the fight.

But then you stopped by
And took my hand in yours.
You smiled,
You winked,
You helped with the chores.

You calmed all my nerves,
With one thoughtless look.
And that was the moment
That my heart
You took.

There's no way to explain it,
No words to display,
The way that I felt
When you took
My breath
Away.

So I can't write you a prose,
Or a sonnet,
Or song.
Nothing can explain
That with you
I belong.

How could I possibly love them both?
It just doesn't make any sense.
It shouldn't work that way.
It doesn't work that way.
It isn't right.

And yet...
His smile...
Her eyes...
His laugh..
Her lips...

I can't ignore the fact
That I feel the same emotions
For both of them.

There are certain things
That I simply can't deny.
My body and my heart
Will not allow it.

And yet...
I hide...
I fear...
I lie...
I change...

And yet...
I still feel the same.

I need you
To be strong for me.
I cannot do it on
My own.

I've fallen away from
What I was.
I'm so pathetic.
I'm sorry.

But you're so strong,
Please stay with me.
If I'm too messed up
I'll change.

Anything
To keep you
A little longer.
A little closer.
A little fonder.

Eager eyes
And patient hands.
Such a silly combination
I'll try to mimic.
But while my eyes may be eager
My hands will reach for yours.
So impatient.
Be patient.

Your gaze is steady
When you sneak a peek.
A wild look is in my eye,
So full of desire.
So impatient.
Be patient.

Such casual fingers
Tracing so carefree.
Mine so direct,
So specific.
So impatient.
Be patient.

You move in closer
As though it is nothing,
As if it is normal.
I move in so unsure,
Is this what you want?
I want it to be.
I want it now.
I'm so impatient.
Be patient.

But you're growing more consistent.
More common.
More clear.
So I will follow your lead.
I will move at your strange pace.
There is no need to rush things.
No need to be impatient.
You're so patient.

There's a love
That is forever.

And it comes in many forms.

Forever love
Can be friendly
Can be fearful
Can be passionate
And can be painful.

I've lived my life
Feeling a few
Forms of forever love.

But when I met you
I felt it all.

And I could breathe
And I felt like I was choking.

And I could fly
But I knew that I was falling.

And I just wanted so desperately
To grab you at the hips
And pull you into me.
But my hands were tied.

I felt forever love with you
In every form.
And I failed you.

I want to show you
That I care,
Though I am here
And you are there.

We've made a mess
Of what we've been
Yet we both know
We cannot win.

She took my hand
And called me baby.
And from that moment on
I no longer knew
Who I was.

A stranger to myself,
Needing to look in the mirror
To remember what I
Look like.

She brushed my brow
With her fingers
As my head was in her lap.
She called me beautiful
And I believed her.
Because she simply
Cannot be
Wrong.

She changed me
And then she left me,
To introduce myself
To this new person
That has taken up the space
Inside of the skin
That I vacated the moment
She called me
Baby.

I'm no longer who I was.
This smile used to be genuine.
Now I only paint it on for pictures
And awkward encounters with strangers.

Gotta turn on that smile to make them all
Feel okay about leaving me after we share
That split second of recognition
That single moment of a certain something
Before going our separate ways.

I'll smile for you
If that's what you need
To feel okay about
Knowing that I'm not okay.

You cannot remove me
From who I am
No matter how hard
You try.

I am my own.
You are not me.

Slipping into what we once were.
I thought that we had parted,
Finally found each other within ourselves.
I prayed for an ending and wished for forever.
But I never thought that you'd come back around.

Arm in arm with your lover,
I whisk you off your feet now,
And we're falling and we're flying from this place.
And we're tossing
And we're turning
And it seems I'm quickly learning
That I cannot win
This never-ending
Chase.

And you're running
And I'm crawling
"I see those tears of laughter falling!"
You giggle as you turn and shut the door.
But if you look into my eyes dear,
You'll see no exclamation
As there is no joy,
Just sadness on this face.

I say
"I love you"
And you smile,
But I cry because I mean it.
No there's nothing I can do
To set us free.

Because I'm caught up in your eyes, love,
As you blush and turn them from me,
I know you saw some honesty
In that last glance.

Give me a chance.
Just kiss me once more
On the lips
Or brow
Or shoulder.
You whisper that you're nervous
But you do it all the same.

Give me a chance
To show you once more
Why never should you leave me
And I'll whisk you off your feet,
Falling, flying us away.

Give me a chance
To hold you longer,
Just a couple moments longer,
Before "arm in arm with your lover"
Is your permanent address.

Give me a chance
Because I love you
And you're running
But I'm crying
While we're falling,
We'll be flying,
As we're
Tossing
Turning
Slipping
Into what we always were.

I didn't mean to hurt you
Didn't mean to lead you on.
Thought that I was being careful
But i guess that I thought wrong.

I'm sorry.

He whispers "I love you."
And she drinks in his words
With a smile on her face.
She needs not say the words
He reads it in her eyes.

The small talk they make
May have no rhyme or reason
But it needs no purpose
Or destination.
Nothing they say
Matters at all
As their fingers do all the talking
With their hips.

And I just can't close
My eyelids.

I can't turn off
My mind.

I miss you too much.

And I could see in her eyes
That she was what the stars were made from.

Do they care for what I am?
Do they see the truth in me?
Because it feels as though my words are frivolous,
As though no one can see.
That what I've got is meant for them
To test, to poke, to ****.
To figure out
And then they'll find
That this is no facade.

amethyst on your fingertips
you were the calm to my storm

Everyone
And
Everything
Is not
Against you.
Find the good.

Sometime I wish
That someone would just
Diagnose me.
With depression
Or
Anxiety
Or
The like.

Instead of just feeling it
Inside,
I would have a word to put to it.
A word I knew
That other people shared.

Maybe then I wouldn't feel
So alone.
And maybe then
It wouldn't be wrong
That I feel so wrong.
And maybe then
I wouldn't feel bad
About feeling bad
All the time.

Please someone
Diagnose me.
So that I can have a reason
For feeling
This way.

Little bits of me
Constantly searching
For little bits of you
In every set of lips
I kiss.

Caught somewhere between
Being friends and being lovers.
Tangled in this web
Of " We could be..."

You say that you must leave me,
Though why I do not know.
I can't move on without you.
Oh God, please do not go.

I'm in love the with idea of you. I can't get over it. It stays with me. It lives in me. I cannot leave it and I do not need to. Because, you see, I'm not in love with you.

I'm in love with way you make me feel. The smile you bring to my lips. The one I attempt to hide. The one no one else can see. But even if they do. What's it matter? I'm not in love with you.

I'm in love with the way you move. The way you touch your fingers to your cheek. And I may do the same. Yes I may touch your cheek, and pull you close to me. But that's okay. Because it's not as if I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with your kiss. Your lips on my lips. The way we feel together. I can't fake that. But you can. Because you're not in love with me. And that's alright. I don't mind. I'm not in love with you.

And maybe if I say it a few more times.
And maybe if I make a few more rhymes.
And maybe if I tell a few more lies.
I'll finally start to believe it.

It was when I kissed you
And searched for another's lips
Within yours
That I knew.

It's time for
The end
To come.

I was only meant to be here for a season.

Some call me Summer.
The way I light up a room.
Bright and warm and full of laughter.

He called me Autumn.
Because he fell for me.
Cozy nights by the fire.
Color and brisk walks and smiles.

She told me I remind her of the Spring.
New beginnings and hopeful futures.
Spashing in puddles and planting flowers.

But you know that I'm
Winter.
Cold.
A brisk walk to a cold car.
A shiver down your spine.
Ice and shut windows closed doors and frostbite.
You catch a glimpse of my snowflakes and claim beauty before my snow storm blizzard white-out black ice on zero viability roads in your cold cold car takes their place.
I'm cold.
Unforgiving.
Ice.
Cold.

And how silly it all seems now
To have been so worried,
So concerned,
About finding the one for me.
Looking and
Searching and
Picking through people
Sort them with a mental machine.

You broke the trend.
You didn't follow the rules.
I didn't find you.

You stepped in and I was welcomed home.
You were a mess of all my future kisses and desire.
You made me stop.
Looking
Searching
Picking through people.
You broke my mental sorting machine.

And now
I am with you
And you are with me.
And I am free.

Frost doesn't care
What anyone thinks.
It moves to its own music
And then waits
To see the repercussions.

A life where your only enemies
Are heat and a window scraper.
Destroyed designs
Are nothing to cry about.
Jack Frost will come around once more
When the sun goes down
And the scraper is put to rest.