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Ana
Millee Feb 10
Ana
i look to the mirror, an unsightly view
what's staring back? it's me to you

how i hate what i see
the girl looking back is me

i'm trapped in my skin
pleading from within

why am i the way i am?
self love only a scam

to be better, to be yearned for
to be perfect, the end of my internal war

just listen to me, can't you see?
workout, eat less, count calories...

you'll be made new, into the person you crave to be
but it comes at a cost, do you trust me?
Millee Oct 2024
How does it feel
to be blinded?
Ignoring the truth
and for what?

To rebel?
To fit in?
When will you learn
that this is just sin?

Wake up now, please!
Pull off
your rose colored glasses!
Open your eyes!

It pains me to see
your judgment clouded.
Please, just try to
even if it's only for me.
Millee Oct 2024
as the world crumbles
around me
all i can do
is watch

the death
the famine
the pain
the suffering

i can't carry the weight
as the stones come crashing down
pummeling my pride
leaving me raw
Millee Oct 2024
wrapped in chains
because i mock His name
listen to the other's music
the banished one

satanus
beelzebub
lucifer
...a fake.

a false god
powerless
is it to rebel?
break the *******.

let yourself free
the weight lifted
as the Heavens sing
when you finally see

who you were
truly
meant to
be
Millee 5d
in chains i stand
before you
trapped as i am
make me anew

release these bonds
break these chains
set me free
from all my pains

let me go
be who i'm meant to be
no matter what you say
i'll finally be me
Millee Dec 2024
one by one we're put together. cemented firm as we watch the world.
i don't want to watch, i want to live but i can't with the cage i'm trapped in.
free me
Millee Feb 13
don't touch me, for i might crack
don't hit me, for i might break
don't yell at me, for i will shatter

these glass walls hold my porcelain soul,
but cannot protect me from the world
the pain, the love, the hurt—

paint my face the way it should be
a smile and bright red cheeks
i am yours to design
Millee Oct 2024
Searching for air

under the dark blue sea

as my lungs fill with

waves of pain and misery.



Tears mix with the ocean's salt

as my heart breaks in two.

One as me,

the other as you.



Oh, how I miss the carefree days,

the ones running with the sun,

though our adventures at night

were always the most fun.



I miss your laugh,

as the waves standstill in your absence.

The clouds cry out for you,

shouting and pouring their tears into the blue.



Oh, how I miss you.

The world's no longer vivid,

the sun dimmed, and the grass dead.

Without you here,

I'd rather stay in bed.

Away from the memories

that haunt my head.



I miss your smile,

the only sunshine

that could shine through my fog.

You promised you wouldn't be gone long.



So, why did you leave?

Now I lay, all alone,

only covered by

my cloud of sorrow.



You said it was forever,

so why am I here,

and you are lost

in the sand of drear?



How could you leave me here,

all alone?

Nowhere to run to,

nowhere to go.



You were my home,

and my compass.

Where do I go,

if your arrow cannot show?



You were my light.

That's why the sun hangs low.

She misses your smile, too,

so why would her rays' glow?



How can I go on

without you by my side?

You were my forever,

my ride or die.



I long for you

as my heart breaks in two.

Will you come back to me?

Or must I go to you?
Millee Oct 2024
United We Stand,
Divided We Fall.
The canyon between us
will slaughter us all.

Can't you see
the man up there?
A puppet on strings,
dancing unaware.

completely unaware
the depth of tragedies
that have occurred
before the formalities.

Do you care for us?
Or is it all for you?
Our country shattering in pieces.
What will you do?

Another speech,
To check a box?
Inconveniences to form
your scripted talks.

We need a leader,
one far more adept.
One for the people,
one who can go up steps.

This ain't an attack
but things need to change
my home is dying
as things become strange.

Home of the Brave
is what they all say
but all I see are cowards
waiting to run away.

Stand up for your land
or we'll crumble before
each angry group
begging to start a war...
Millee Dec 2024
overlooked but overused. i the key to new experiences—what lays beyond the wall. day after day, hour after hour people touch me but are unclean. the germs crawl around me, waiting for the next victim. flu, covid, a cough—doesn't matter which 'cause i experience them all...
Millee Nov 2024
If you could have it all, everything your heart desires would you try? Just a sip, they said, your dreams will come to life. What happens when the drink runs dry? Your aspirations shrivel, you confidence wilts.

So, will you take a sip?
Millee Dec 2024
Do you know what it's like to be inside someone's head?
All of a sudden wanting to be dead.
Or maybe full of worry?
Rushing 'round in a hurry.
Maybe full of rage?
Being life's prisoner in its cage.

You can't hide from me.
That's just how it is unfortunately.
Standing in a room just me and you
I'll always know how you feel, it's true
cause being an empath is not a choice
but a chance to give all the hurting a voice.
Millee Jan 14
Why would I eat if the lies inside me fill me up? 'Til there's nothing but half-truths trapped inside. I plead, scream, beg for someone to hear my cry but it's locked deep within me.
The pain I feel when I look in the mirror; why? Why do I hate myself?
Hate my hair,
my hips,
my thighs,
my stomach,
my smile.
I won't look anymore.
I can't bear to see who's staring back.
Shatter the mirror!
Distort the already broken image.
How much more damage could I do to myself before I'm through?
The scale wails when I approach; the fourth time in a day. When the numbers fall, I let out a sigh of relief, but when they rise…
What can I do?
What would you do if you couldn't be you?
Everyone's words are pointless. If its not the voice inside my head it doesn't matter. Nothing can satisfy my need to feel empty—to feel proud of the monster I’d become.
fly
Millee Nov 2024
fly
do you ever feel like you're not enough? like what you do will never measure up. who to be and what to do have never come clearly to you.

i know you.

I know your pain, your sorrow, your lack of faith.

"how do i believe in myself when no one else does?"

you prove them wrong.

show them your strength, your courage, your confidence. prove to yourself that you deserve life, deserve to be on this planet we call earth.

we all have something to offer, you included.

show the world the best you can be and then they'll see that they were wrong about you and the things you can do.

spread your wings and jump, i know you'll fly.
Millee Oct 2024
a pit in your stomach

the bile inside

as your teeth begin to tingle

over what you just cried


the worry drowns you

as your heart pleads

begging for them to see

how it's made you bleed


the sorrow

the shame

the hurt

the blame


it feels like death

is sitting on you

suffocating your life

in everything you do


i'm sorry for what i've done

for the words i've said

and the actions that occurred

please forgive me, or I'll end up dead
Millee Oct 2024
You don't understand

he means everything to me

just give him a chance

and maybe you'll agree.




His smile, his laugh

make me feel alive,

without him

I'll never thrive.




I know you won't agree

you're the head, and I the heart

you can try

but you'll never break us apart.


~


I won't agree because I see things

you'll never know.

This guy doesn't want you

he only sees a ***.




You deserve more

that's why logic wins,

saving you from

his unwanted sins.




I know you won't

agree with me

but there's just somethings

the heart cannot see.




Blinded by love,

you'll be the fool.

~

With your logic,

life becomes cruel.




Which do I believe?

The one that sees

or the one

that bleeds?
Millee Nov 2024
The prize, just keep your eye on the prize. The buzzer sounds as I stuff my face, not daring to lose this race. Hot dog after hot dog, I don't slow down. Victory is in my sight, there's no stopping me now. The buzzer dings, my hands held high in the air. I've won, completely fair and square.
(This is a funny one. I asked my boyfriend for a word and a feeling and he gave me 'Hot Dog' and 'Triumphant' birthing whatever this is lol)
Millee Oct 2024
the pounding in my chest
increases my unrest
as tears stream down my face
praying for a change of pace

worry bubbles inside me
snatching my glee
just let me be
and maybe i'll see
why you ignore my plea
to be set free

how can i feel so alone
when people have shown
how much they care
but are never there

panic is my foe
lying to me of what i know
dampening my glow
furthering my woe
of what it shows
whoa
Millee Oct 2024
when i look at you
my stomach flutters
your smile makes me gleam
i love you

your laugh is perfect
each chuckle makes me grin
basking in your joy
i love you

the lovingness is so pure
the cuddles so protecting
i feel safe with you
i love you

be mine forever
staying side by side
loving til the day we die
i love you

i'll say it
if you'll say it too
just two words
i love you

I do.
Millee Nov 2024
My imagination runs rampant. Images I cannot control. I fear myself. I can't close my eyes or they'll creep inside. These far off lands own me, I'm only a vessel to tell their twisted stories.
Millee Feb 13
tie me up
my insides in knots
how can i tell what is real
and what is not?

my anxiety tightens the bow,
now struggling to breathe
my heart beats fast
and i begin to seethe

the pain of worry
lies deep inside
lacing me up
i've been tied.
Millee Dec 2024
pulling me up just to push me back down, to this cycle i'm bound. pride is a sin whether from you or within. i climb to the top not planning to stop but if i go too far—
just let me fly, be free. let me truly be me. unlock the door, release the chains because no matter how much you think you love me, you only put me in pain.
how can i heal when i begin to it's my skin you peel. bring me back to "perfect," everything you dreamed for me, but that's not who i am, can't you see?!
just let me live my life, the way i intend too. you treat me like a trial run, how is that fun for you?
this is my life, not yours. leave me alone
Millee Oct 2024
how can I be alive,

when I feel nothing inside?

the nothingness inside myself

makes me deaf.




deaf to the highs,

deaf to the lows,

that's why i stay here,

i have nowhere to go.




a shell of who i was,

and what i could be

shattered to pieces

that floated out to sea.




put them together

and what do you see?




another lost soul

inside an empty body.
Millee Oct 2024
Hope for a new world

shatters.

Fates laugh as

poison fills the veins of society.




Should we call to the moon?

Surely, she knows how to survive the dark.

What about the stars?

Do we pray for them to fall?

So our pitiful cries may be heard

by some other know-all?




Fates pleased as we long

for happy endings,

ones that we will never reach

no matter how hard we try.




Will we ever be free

of your dangerous games?

Or will your hands stay latched

on those wretched reins?
Millee 5d
what do i believe?
my heart pulling to the left while my head to the right.
they won't agree, not on this.
i'm tangled, my feelings and thoughts intertwined with each other with no clear answer.
help me, im so scared.
scared to lose you but scared to lose myself, too.
do i stay or do i go?
i guess its something only time will show
Millee Oct 2024
i don't hate you
but i hate what you do
you're dripping with sin
as you're hurt within

follow me
and maybe you'll see
how the world has lied
false truth invading as you cried

your pride is too high
for you to see the lie
to admit you were wrong
so i'll sing this song

"i love you
as Jesus does too.
i pray for your heart
'cause it tears me apart
to see you this way
so i have something to say
i'll be here for you
no matter what you do
and i hope that you
will be there too."
Millee Nov 2024
Mask up or they'll see.
They'll see what you hide,
what you try not to be.
Don't let them in.
Don't let them win.
Do not show them the person within.
Millee Oct 2024
How would life be
if you saw what I see?
Would you finally understand?
Could I finally be me?

Nothing seems real,
theres no way to feel.
Everything is dull.
Until I heal.
Millee Jan 1
You were a rose.
As beautiful as its soft, red petals.
Even a perfect rose has flaws––its thorns.
And, My Darling, you've stricken me.
Just something random. I put on ambient music and wrote from there.
Millee Dec 2024
the yearn to feel
to know the pain is real
is all i can do
while i sit here with you
awaiting the day
i can finally say
'I'm no longer numb'
Millee Oct 2024
shut out the noise
push out the lies
see the truth
open up your eyes

minds are twisted
with false truth
invading our brains
poisoning our youth

wake up, please
push through the fog
rise up from the ashes
see through the smog

please open your eyes
not awake in disguise
Millee Nov 2024
Oh, spin the wheel
to see what to feel
you're not in control
this isn't your soul
the chemicals decide
whether depression or pride

you're only a shell
with no story to tell
but what the author has wrote
so leave your note
let your voice be heard
even if only a word

"Help"
Millee Oct 2024
have you ever felt your memories crawl up your throat?
the pain of each nightmare coming afloat.
the flashbacks swallow you whole.
there's no hope for your soul.

do you live your terrors day after day?
the corrupted thoughts won't go away.
its blade slices your skin
allowing the bad thoughts in.

save me.
hear me.
pull me from this pit
please, before i quit.

give up on this.
it's them you'll miss.
release me
subdue me

please let me be free.
Millee 6d
the soft pitter-patter of nature's tears echo in my ears. the mist swallows them whole, shielding them from the world.

why do we cry?

because nature does, too.
its despair waters our flowers, its  pain quenches our thirst.

but our tears?

they hurt no one but ourselves. trying so desperately to keep them in.

but there's strength in weakness,

an accomplishment in a failure,

there's peace in loss.
Millee Nov 2024
Power surges, the energy in my veins. We have the right to change. Things don't stay the same, after all, life is only a game. Prepare your hearts for this is war, it's time to even the score. We will win, and that's a promise I'll give.
Millee Feb 9
even though the sun sets
and is swallowed by the night,
its light prevails against the darkness,
just as you can too
Millee Nov 2024
This emptiness swallows me whole. Please hear my prayers! I yearn for peace, to feel something. Will you send me a sign to prove everything to be alright? I'll wait for it, like I do every night—for you to pass my window, to be my shooting star.

I'll wait for the sign that you are mine.
Millee Jan 14
silent tears
the incoherent cry for help
pain no one will hear.
pain no one will ever know.
they are shed when everything else is kept within.
when you are so alone, you have no shoulder to lean on.
the pain leaks from time to time through the corner of your eye, but it stays buried.
buried under the guilt, the shame, everything you throw away.
push your hurt out quietly—don't be a burden. no one wants your problems, your pain—no one wants you they say.
please, someone take my pain away.
Millee 4d
joy, giggles and laughs as they trudge through the snow. snowballs gliding through the air, sleds speeding down. it's magical, the way the snowflakes fall gracefully from the sky...

but, when the sun comes out, the fun begins to die. the once white covered grass starts to fade, the happiness of winter melts away.
Millee 4d
i'm only a sponge
when they erupt, one thing being a tipping point, i'm there. i'm the one who cleans up, i'm the one to make it seem as if it never happened.
i'm only a liar.
Millee Jan 18
left on an island out at sea, all my fears and worries surrounding me. i'm stranded, left only with the Voice inside my head; one thing that wants me dead. how do i escape? how do i become free? free the unrest residing in me. i cant swim. i'm not strong enough. the hate will only drag me down. please help me,

i'm drowning.

drowning in self hatred that i can't seem to overcome. the waves pull me further in, the glimpse of light dimming. i can't hold my breath much longer, sweet release finally seeping in. this is it, the end. my soul rests in the depths of the ocean, floating with misery.
Millee Oct 2024
the lies You whispered in my ears,

blinded me from my fears.

You promised perfection,

but didn't tell me it'd lead my heart in the other direction.




the unrest in my soul grew

as You wound me up like a corkscrew.

Your grin darkened

as Your blade sharpened.




You stripped me of myself

so You could control my body Yourself.

You killed me from the inside out,

suffocating my flower before it could even sprout.




i can't understand how such a tiny ****,

could strangle me no matter how hard i plead.

this wasn't part of the deal,

my soul wasn't Yours to steal.




You clouded my thoughts

so i couldn't connect the dots.

trial after trial You wouldn't leave me alone

Your lies continued until i was overthrown.




there i sat, hollow

ready to trust You, ready to follow.

we walked the path of no return,

ready to die, ready to burn.




that's when I began to pray

for someone to come to My aid.

pull Me from the dirt,

help Me never hurt.




replant Me somewhere new,

maybe somewhere with a good view.

somewhere I won't be numb,

somewhere far away from that ****.




the sun seems clearer,

maybe because I'm nearer.

maybe because I'm no longer tangled in a vine.

maybe because I can finally be happy with My life as Mine.
Sun
Millee Nov 2024
Sun
Overlooked, overworked, underpaid, with no gratitude. You yearn her presence but gripe about mine. "It's too hot, too bright." I'm never 'just right.' Without me, you couldn't survive, couldn't thrive in this life you call yours.

See how well she treats you. Her glow dissipates with my darkness. Envy runs through me. You don't deserve to see.

Nothing runs without me.
Millee Dec 2024
on and off.
off and on.
the same stupid routine day after day
but i guess i was made that way
Millee 5d
this side of my skin
hides what lies within
a perfect shell
hiding my inner hell

this side of me
hides what you can see
what i hide
what's trapped deep inside

outside as perfection
inside a deadly infection
it spreads through my soul
its darkness swallowing me whole

this side of my skin
protects what i hide within
keeps my thoughts hidden
because what they say is surely forbidden
Millee Oct 2024
Is everyone blind?
Can we not see the truth?
The world is dying
and so is our youth.

People are dying
for the pettiest reasons.
When we disagree
we'll commit treason.

Countries falling
as others rise.
Only succeeding
at others' demise.

When will we stand up
for what is right?
Will we sit by and watch
or actually get up and fight?

The world is crumbling
over greed and pride.
Ignoring the help
that everyone cried.

We must stand up
and fight for what's right.
If we standby to watch
nothing will be left in sight.
Millee Oct 2024
peer into the glass
what do you see?
are you staring back
or is it a nobody?

the twisted lies
that are held behind
that shiny pane
inside your mind.

do we see the truth?
what it reflects to us?
do mirrors twist the facts
we won't discuss?

is this truly me?
is my soul flawed?
am i really just
a lying fraud?
Millee 4d
the flowers died on monday
the clouds cried on tuesday
the sky screamed on wednesday
the sun dimmed on thursday
the stars hid on friday
mother nature weeped on saturday
the earth spun on on sunday
Millee Jan 6
i'm so lost
first you love me
then treat me like trash
acting like i'm not there
...acting like you don't care

i don't understand what ive done to you
to make you hate me the way you do
is it really hate?
or only a facade?

i don't know how to feel
cause i don't know what's real
do you truly love me?
or am i only a means to an end?
Millee 5d
world, forget me
as i'm nothing special
a blank slate
with no motivation

i stay sedimentary
afraid to fail
how can i fly
if i wont take a leap

world, forget me
i have nothing to offer
nothing to share
just an empty shell

a passing character in someone's story
i'll never be the one they read for
my life is nothing but trials
all which i've failed

world, forget me
please i beg you
don't waste your time
trying to see me as who i was meant to be

— The End —