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334 · Sep 2014
A Lover in White
Nik Bland Sep 2014
Oh my love who left with the falling snow
I wonder why you've wandered and where you did go
Spring has come and with it songs that simply fail to me
For I lost you when trees were bare and they are not lush and green

Oh my heart, your door was closed but I forget to lock it
And now you stay so far away within my love's coat pocket
That door that remains open lets in the wind and how it moans
Bare as a forgotten cupboard in a house that is no home

Dearest love who left when the snow began to fall
Since white blankets have laid and thawed, I have not ceased to call
Yet where you are, there you stay, and why, I do not know
But you made sure that winter stayed and that it might never go
326 · Jul 2018
Breakable
Nik Bland Jul 2018
I broke before the breaking was ever evident
The weight of undertaking such cracks was prevalent
My hands and legs were shaking yet my mouth stayed oddly shut
Because the words, I found, were inconvenient

I broke before the clay of me had any time to dry
An unfinished tapestry that had already gone awry
And I have no one to blame but me, so I do it every day
And I apologize for the choices that will always be

I broke to show a side of me I’d kept under lock and key
To find I’d lost that key and my escape was breaking
And whether I am a fool is a debate that has come and gone
But I will learn one way or another, later or sooner
318 · Oct 2014
If We Had Never
Nik Bland Oct 2014
If she never spoke to me
If she never wrote for me
If she never lied with me
Then she wouldn't have to cry for me

Her tears would never touch the sheets
If I and her had ceased to meet
And she would land just on her feet
With dry eyes and a smile

If she had never slept with me
Then maybe life would let her be
So resemblance of the the word "happy"
With another who'd make her smile

If she hadn't made a home with me
If she wasn't alone with me
If she'd hung up the phone with me
Then I would be alone, but maybe that was meant to be
318 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Nik Bland Sep 2016
Here I am amongst the clouds
Over the sea
Under the sun
And I am not the only one
No, you and me make two

And here we float along, along
Over the minutes
Under the influence
Hand in hand and head in song
As sky, we float on through

And here I see and hear the sea
Overwhelming
Underappreciated
From the clouds that float along with me
No, along with you and I

As I am kissed by the sun and you
Over and over
Under a trance
And amidst the wonders of my view
Still you captivate on my eye
315 · Jul 2018
Wanting too Much
Nik Bland Jul 2018
I am a compilation
Of complications
A station on the radio
My radar too tuned in
Hearing too acutely
My feelings too wild
Chaotic
It's not your fault
But is it mine?

You stand there
Letting me taste you
And
Leaving me
Here
Wanting more
Feverish in my attempts
Stumbling over my
Braindead heart
It's not my fault
But is it yours?

Sweet, yet bitter
So well seasoned
I have to dull
Myself
Too much too soon
Wanting
Impatient in anticipation
Of another coming and
Picking
You
Up
It's not your fault
But is it theirs?

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone"
But don't fly to frequent
Don't fly to near
Burns will appear
The wanting is toxic
The passion
Too fervent
Fearful
But still there
A constant
Itching
It's not my fault
But it's all I am

Overflowing or bone dry
No in-betweens
Hot or cold
In a lukewarm
Scene
Consisting of consistent
Changes
But unfaltering
In my wanting
To never
Lose

It's not your fault
But I'll blame us both one way
Or another
"So much fear of dropping something so precious, your hands shake, therin sealing a destiny written by and feared by you..."
312 · Dec 2013
Never Endings
Nik Bland Dec 2013
If my days should end, my friend, and sorrow takes its due
I pray somehow that some part of me would live on within you
That petals of red would run through your blood where my rose has wilted, dried
And days would run on for you and no tears formed or cried

If my days should should end, my friend, if I go before my time
I pray you'll see that my actions matched my words and thoughts buried in rhyme
That you will love with the same love I've set aside for you
And that, as ash fades into ash, to that love you'll remain true
312 · Aug 2015
Sara
Nik Bland Aug 2015
Seeing valleys low and hilltops high
Watching sunsets with fresher eyes
Looking at it all I realize
All that's missing, love, is you by my side

Racing rapids rock me to and fro
Chasing golden beams at ends of rainbows
Feeling winter's chill and summer's glow
Lets me know that you should stay close

Feeling the breeze as I run on perfect days
Shooting to the stars in a glittery haze
Oh, my heart, I know I'm a thousand miles away
But I'd give it up and forever with you I'd stay

My love for transcends this wondrous daze...
308 · Oct 2013
More Than Sorrow
Nik Bland Oct 2013
If these wounds could close, then eyes would open
Showing you there's more than being broken
Speaking of dreams that float onward from your hand
Catching them to put at your feet and telling you I understand

To let you know there is more than a handful of tears
That life has more in store than a desert of fears
That I am here as long as we have on this rock in the sky
And I could show things that might help open your eyes
308 · Sep 2014
wasteful.
Nik Bland Sep 2014
Hello, Mister Ticking Clock
I've wasted too much time
Thinking of when you'd stop
And my time, my time would be

Up and down I'd find I'd pace
Till the floorboards would complain to me
That I behind in the race
To catch up with my

Time, it escapes me
Like a little child with a fist full of sand
And all I find I'll ever be is
A fool, ever and always...
303 · Feb 2015
Untitled
Nik Bland Feb 2015
Fade with me, my only one
The past has come for us
The shining hue of our world
Has set the dirt for the next

Fade with me, dust to dust
Become one with me in the soil
Let flowers bud, bloom, and wilt
And our love outlive our lives
Nik Bland Nov 2019
What is in your nature?
For what cause do you bleed?
The lights flicker on and off
You smile amidst the scoffs
Darling, you are so hard to read

I’ve got questions for your creator
You continue to perplex me
You’re the moon amidst the dawn
How are you here and so far gone?
I do not know how to proceed

Something is hidden in the inseam
I see the thorns upon the rose
The coolness amidst the heat
The beauty only hides the beast
The more I learn, the less I know

My dear, what is in your nature?
Where do you choose to stand and fall?
I am coaxed and yet afraid
Take so much pleasure in the pain
Complexities within your call

Oh loveliness inside the tempest
Oh endless pit in which I dive
I choose to venture to the depth
Though it may be till death
It’s makes me aware I’m alive
301 · Oct 2019
nothing lost nothing gained
Nik Bland Oct 2019
You are as you were
No more needing to be said
With eyes that bore tears in joy and sadness
And heart that consistently bled
And mine and your hands locked together
To brave life’s twisted sense of humor
And I knew that, in that, we’d overcome the world

We were never perfect
That’s needing to be heard
Ever present were these jars of truth
Bitter tasting, well preserved
With hands clasped we understood it could not be fathomed
As we locked eyes, yes, words, yes, but never hearts

Maybe that’s the good in it
A gift in cross’ed stars
The reality of a ever present door
That we both know is ajar
The knowing that the hand we hold can build the other up
With the power that so easily can rip us apart

You were the one I’d always wanted
I was the one you leaned upon
With me not knowing what you were
And your faith in your strength long gone
My love for you unending, understated, undeterred
And your love for me one undoubted, but for me undetermined

Each time you speak I hear you
This world’s distraction become blurred
You serve your homemade truths
And I swallow every single word
Can’t decipher lies because I know only what you convey
And in that, you’re the most honest person I know

Our views of each other work
On the level that was stand
Where we get to choose what we convey
As we offer each other a hand
The preachings of the lying tongue and giving of stolen things
An knowledge of the mystery forever kept

Maybe this is not worth the chance
Our self destructive ways
The pure carnage we could leave behind
In our search to escalate
Satan’s aspirations to rise are what led to the fall
So maybe to stay divine, we must stay content

And so we look, we taste, we hear
And we feel that that’s enough
Maybe in leaving the uncertain just that
The relationship is safe from us
Or maybe this is just the lie we earnestly believe
In fear that the rise will be more painful than the fall
298 · Feb 2019
Haunted (Song)
Nik Bland Feb 2019
(Verse 1)
Part
Ways

I would have bet my last dollar
You’d
Stay

Hues
Fade

Feeling things that you once
Delayed

Suffering
I’ve had my share
Before

But what do I do (do I do)
If you’re not there no more

(Verse 2)

You were composed of
Sun
Rays

Lighting up my kitchen
Floor

Fingertips graze
Places you won’t be
Memories

(Chorus)
I know that your dead and cold
So why won’t you leave?

Buried with my heart long ago
Give it back to me

(Verse 3)
Tear
Dry

Only because I’ve none left
To
Cry

Oh
You’ve gone yet you reside

Doors shut
But windows wide

Weakness
I confess
I’ve felt these things before

But what I went through
Does not compare to
What I go through
Without you anymore

(Chorus)
I know that you’re dead and cold
But I don’t want you to leave

This isn’t how this song should go
A “me” meant to be “we”

I know that you’re dead and cold
Why can’t you be with me?

You were my ultimate goal
So now I’m just losing

(Verse 3)
I can’t remember how to sleep
Without you beside me
You’re imprint
In my mattress
In my soul

My heart took so much time
To let you inside
Tell me a secret
How do I
Let you go?

(Chorus)
I know that your dead and cold
So why won’t you leave?

Buried with my heart long ago
Give it back to me

I know that you’re dead and cold
But I don’t want you to leave

This isn’t how this song should go
A “me” meant to be “we”

I know that you’re dead and cold
Why can’t you be with me?

You were my ultimate goal
So now I’m just losing

Just losing...

Just losing...

Losing you...
294 · Sep 2014
Under, Over
Nik Bland Sep 2014
If You don't carry me
Lord, I think they'll bury me
Underneath their tainted hands
Lord, just help me understand
Raise me up from the depths
Carry me, Lord, step by step
See my fear and see my doubt
Grab hold of them and cast them out
Raise me up, oh Lord, on high
Let love downpour so I never dry
For in this desert, Lord, I see
I'll be buried if You don't carry me
292 · Sep 2014
Vacant
Nik Bland Sep 2014
I'm not here anymore
I haven't been for awhile
And though you see the whole of me
Sitting with a smile

I'm not here anymore
I've gone and evaporated
Away from here to the atmosphere
Where I found I've escalated

Are you still here without me?
Or am I gazing into the eyes of the departed
Are you flying by in the skies
Or still on earth with the downtrodden

I'm not here anymore, not today
My daydreams have carried me
And God only knows what will bring me back
At least, as far as you can see
287 · Oct 2018
Name Lost In The Paint
Nik Bland Oct 2018
I've painted too many pictures
And all of them, the same
I've painted your face a thousand times
Yet I've forgotten your name
And it is such a travesty
Not to mention a **** shame
For you are the only face
The only inspiration that came
And oh, the colors in your eyes are those of the dawn
Your lips as soft as the brush that paints them on and on
In your beauty, in your grace, I find, in utter shame
The treachery, the irony, of a love's forgotten name
My brush will stay clasped in this hand, my strokes remaining true
Until the memories come back, my paint will remember you
I'll be penniless with all the paint and canvas I'll have bought
All because of a beautiful face whose name that I forgot
286 · Mar 2019
Work in Progress
Nik Bland Mar 2019
The symptoms, I can see
What’s hard’s to find the malady
There are problems arising
And the thought so paralyzing
I fit in perfectly
In the drawer of expired batteries
Can’t find a use, but I’m still working
Though I don’t mask well the hurting

There’s no mistaking me
A 6’2” catastrophe
Not the favorite, but I’m up there
Just don’t read my list of errs
I no longer apologize for myself
Though I’m not opposed to some help
These wings are malting, I don’t fly
But I aspire for the sky

Can you see me falling
Though on air seems like I’m walking
The open wounds masquerade as scars
I’m walking strongly, but not that far
Partial truth are still lies
Yet they’re sung lullabies
I’m trying to find truth in me
And am sometimes left out to bleed

The only apparent cure for this
Is to live my life and do my best
But life looks soft, but rubs on rough
And sometimes best is not enough
A prophet for thing in hindsight
A tympanum of unjust and unright
Crawling from the weight of memories
To hope and find the malady
286 · Jan 2017
Secret Wantings
Nik Bland Jan 2017
My regrets have taken me to place I'd have never seen
Violently away from you and past the blues, yellows, and greens
And though time has been somewhat kind, the gentle things I leave behind
Look back at me with burning eye as they seer their way into my mind

And I whisper secret words and think of you...
284 · Sep 2019
Blink
Nik Bland Sep 2019
Dot my skies with car lights
Zooming in from light years away
Stain the night with moon beams
Put me amidst the cool breeze
Let me sing songs with you

You sing slightly off key
Showing me imperfect perfections
Melody through the trees
The earth is breathing softly
To not impede the smile of you

Nighttime holds me closely
Not as well as I hold you
Putting this moment to mem’ry
Brain silently etching
In this way I won’t let go of you

Things are always fading
Nothing last in the passage of time
So chart the dotted car light
Nothing forever, nothing finite
Only fleeting breath with you

Is this not the greatest gift
Blinking seconds spent in song
Notes in between the moments
What it all represents
An investment worthy of you
282 · Oct 2018
Anxiety
Nik Bland Oct 2018
There is violence
Thrashing
A gnashing of teeth
Burning
Tossing, turning
A smell of ash
That leaves one distraught
A hunger
Packed within a thirst
That pales the face
Drains the blood
And leaves an emptiness most hazardous
Dangerous

And what stands as sharpened blades
Broods internally
Biding, biting
Waiting
Anticipating moments of weakness
Unshaken
Under the skin
Itching
Tearing and roaring
Inside a cage
Composed of silence
The wolf within the man
282 · Oct 2014
The Artist
Nik Bland Oct 2014
I've painted too many pictures
And all of them, the same
I've painted your face a thousand times
Yet I've forgotten your name
And it is such a travesty
Not to mention a **** shame
For you are the only face
The only inspiration that came
And oh, the colors in your eyes are those of the dawn
Your lips as soft as the brush that paints them on and on
In your beauty, in your grace, I find, in utter shame
The treachery, the irony, of a love's forgotten name
My brush will stay clasped in this hand, my strokes remaining true
Until the memories come back, my paint will remember you
I'll be penniless with all the paint and canvas I'll have bought
All because of a beautiful face whose name that I forgot
279 · Oct 2019
charades
Nik Bland Oct 2019
You left room to follow
Bitter tears to swallow
All your fear came
Cascading down
And you could not feel the ground

Heartbreak stood to greet you
Came close to defeat you
In a penny
In a pound
Your bruises don’t make a sound

It hurts to continue
Love blurry, out of view
How do you save
What can’t be found?
Wish I knew that right now

I cannot repair you
You’d never ask me to
I see bruises
Eyes tear bound
Yet you press on somehow

Darling, you are a song
Sorrowful, but so strong
I’ll whisper goodnight
Kiss your brow
And love the tearful clown
276 · Jan 2019
Unwritten Last Words
Nik Bland Jan 2019
And I will give this parting word
Knowing you’ll never hear it
But love, as they say, is a verb
So my action’s to lift your spirit
To know that breath escapes my lungs
To do what I must to meet you lips
The twisting of unspeaking tongues
The grazing of unworthy fingertips

Parting is an ever aware
And unwelcome party guest
A weight that drives and despairs
Bringing tension to my chest
Though I would press ten times such costs
To say these vocalize such words
Of love, of want, and of inevitable loss
Of things ceasing to be heard
274 · Aug 2014
Pretty
Nik Bland Aug 2014
Where do pretty little dreams seem to climb
On what foreign aeroplane do they fly
Fluttering like butterflies on the breezes
Traveling at the speed of sound around me

Watch as pretty little girls go along
Clutching firmly onto me with tiny arms
Pretty girls, your daddy sees you are there
As pretty dreams float out your mind and through your hair

Where do wonders seem to cease within your eyes
Lovely in all their greens, a paradise
Pretty girl, pray, never cease to dream again
So I might see your dreamy smile 'round the bend
271 · Oct 2018
Warm me
Nik Bland Oct 2018
Paint such visions in my heart
In this cold, feed the dying hearth
Tread where my footprints are in this snow
My lovely, warm me, don't let go
Hear me calling amongst the noise
Rest in the rumble of my voice
Feel as the warmth in our blood grows
My lovely, warm me, don't let go
Sing such songs from year before
Dare me, tell me to fear no more
Home is you and all I need know
My lovely, warm me, don't let go
I will kiss your hand as we close our eyes
Hold you close, your breath my lullaby
Let our love stay on the straight and narrow
My lovely, warm me, don't let go
270 · May 2018
A Deal Undone
Nik Bland May 2018
If she must fade from you
Then give the Devil what is due
The bridges burned, the gates unscrewed
Have left you gaping, griping

For you saw Heaven from a view
Then were struck blind as if on cue
As it was ripped away, in truth
It was never truly yours

Your state of mind was so askew
That you asked Satan to carry you
To give you favor, did you assume
That it would turn out well?

I see.

Hellfire stuck like glue...

Your skies grey, so you paint them blue

But the Devil is quick to do and undo

And now she’s gone... gone...

Gone.
270 · Oct 2018
Tapped
Nik Bland Oct 2018
I fear that you caught me at the worst of times
With a heart resembling broken glass in this chest of mine
And I’d pay all I have  if you’d see the best in me
But I wouldn’t be surprised if you chose to leave

If you’re searching for sunshine, you may fine only clouds
The lightning cracking at distance so it’s not too loud
But I’d give the world to be just something in your eyes
Though it’s present in my mind that you may say goodbye

Rising to the occasion was never my strong point
Though there’s ever fervent effort, proved by creaking joints
If it would make you stay, I’d lay the mountains flat
But it’s more likely you will go and never come back

Prayers may be silent, but they spit out fervently
And I will put it all on the table if you stay with me
There’s one more “one more chance” I don’t deserve from you
Coupled with love that won’t run out, even if we want it to
270 · Mar 2014
Yesterday's F***-Up
Nik Bland Mar 2014
I may have to press pause on the day
To analyze and hypothesize how not to lose you again
To find where the other times rose and fell
So yesterday might help push a tomorrow

My words will rise back into me
Off the floor with the breaths I once set free
Counting between each second and pausing
To find where I lost you again
265 · Oct 2019
Megan
Nik Bland Oct 2019
Words I have are few
With only some the exception
For words just seem
To flee from me
When you look my direction
And I know you are divine
But I know you aren’t perfection
And maybe those wings you have
Are just of my own perception

Your lips are tender pink
Your eyes like amber honey
With untold stories
Of all your glory
Told in a smile that outweigh gold or money
I am well aware you are open box
Slightly used with dents in view
But your worth still shows beyond worldly stains
Each time I look at you

Given the chance, I’d touch your hand
Given time, I find the words
The bonds I’d break
And risks I’d take
To make known, to be heard
In divine imperfections, love
In such complexities, you
Let action dictate everything
And let these words be few
264 · Oct 2019
An unknown but present muse
Nik Bland Oct 2019
I write about you as if doing so will make you real
Haven’t met you, yet I know how you make me feel
Or maybe the reality is I have and the want is from memory
Pen to paper should imitate passion inked on you by me

No doubt that I am foolish, time winds and leaves us scarred
As if contradicting doors with a dozen locks, yet still ajar
Reminiscent of bruised fruit, but the heart only feels hunger
With you satiating the wanting and the ever driving wonder

And the poetry has gone on so long I know not if your real
I have no regrets, as the pen bleeds only what I feel
My mind like a drunken witness with an unreliable memory
With that in mind, I paint dripping words with my visions of you and me

Whoever you may be
261 · Sep 2015
Untitled
Nik Bland Sep 2015
I saw the streetlights light the fog
And for a moment, my world was gold
A late Friday night was something to behold

The world, it slowed as my night shone
Like fabled cities of ancient times
And all was composed within these eyes of
Nik Bland Nov 2019
Ode to those lovely heartbreakers
That bore into my chest and pull out my heart
To smear upon blank canvases
And birth these works of art

The sweetest intentions with bitter aftertastes
That weigh heavy so that words are pushed forth
Not questioning beautiful gold coated wrappings
But they in turn making me question my worth

Ode to those lovely heartbreakers
Their brilliance, their wonder, their tragedy
Who are deserving of words beyond words beyond worlds
And rushing tides of passionate misery

To taste would me both blessing and curse
To know, to attain, but to lose
But is the chance better than the rejection, the hurt
Is the question, but the answer hard to choose

Ode to the lovely heartbreakers
Whose names are etched on my heart, how it bleeds
Open sores that give birth through pain and loss
And unintentionally shaping parts of me

The saying goes that crime rarely pays
And I say love is therein it’s counterpart
So comes past charges of loving each and every one
And so the sentence comes: beautiful art
260 · May 2015
Untitled
Nik Bland May 2015
If I should find myself outside of your arms
I fear I may not sleep again
A tossing and turning's the result of a heart burning
As drifting dreams become foreign friends
My head might start spinning 'till I find I'm unscrewed
Open eyes replacing open arms
So if you should leave, oh I beg and I plead
That your words come before the alarm
253 · Nov 2018
Necessary Violence
Nik Bland Nov 2018
Shoot
Aim at me
And litter me with stars
I feel like I
Need to be
Aerodynamic like cars
To go faster
As I wonder
Do astronomers dream of astronauts
It’s ringing
In my ears
Make mine a holy heart

Blow
Me away
Make things diff’rent than they seem
Push me past
The today
And help me see past the temporary
Of the seconds
Of the minutes
Of the hours I count on fingers and toes
Make this limbs
Stretch the distance
Break apart this hole

Pierce
Into me
Make me feel a heart forgotten
I feel I
Need to be
Torn into to get rid of the rotten
Through the muscle
Crack the bone
Let me be opened, inside out
Open lungs
Rush of blood
Let internals eternally pour out
248 · Dec 2018
Passion
Nik Bland Dec 2018
Beautiful girl
Untamed woman
A tapestry amongst the grey

She lives in technicolor
Her lips a plethora
Each shade lingering there

Her legs were bows of colored light
My fingers gracing her inners thighs
Reaching in so gently
Yet with purpose
Yet with passion

Watercolors
245 · Dec 2016
more than broken...
Nik Bland Dec 2016
I am more than these broken dreams that compose the depths of me
A stifled lamplight that can still burn amidst dark forces unbeknownst, unseen
I have yet to be claimed, though maimed, though torn, though bruised, battered, not broken
There still lies a slumbering giant in me that has yet to be woken
I am a culmination of a divine creation, tossed in the mud of the real and flesh and bone
And shooting star that has touched the ground with such for as to shatters what others assume to know
Amidst the roaring waves I am a drop, but still I scream, I roar
I may be among broken dreams, but in dreaming anew I am more
243 · Oct 2018
How She Danced
Nik Bland Oct 2018
Can you tell me what made her dance
What put the smile upon her face
For I have not seen an ear to ear in some time

The warmth is gone from peaches lips
Her hair unkept emulates the state of her soul
And eyes are dried from running out of tears

I remember bare feet to cold ground
A twirl that assured she might lift from earth
As she warmed the air so much the sun doubted its worth

Her skin shone with the glow of a lover
Her hands gracing air and leaving on it fingerprints
Her life in between each symphonic note

Tell me what it was that made her dance
What made the sun and moon her spotlight
Instead of the things the signified another passing day
241 · Nov 2016
Untitled
Nik Bland Nov 2016
I could never find you in the ever present day
Even though your cries seemed a simple whisper away
The grey, it overcame you and the sun refused to shine
And all my efforts came back to tell me I was out of time

And I found that all I could do was get on bend'd knee and pray
With fret and woe upon my face and words that ran away
Could you hear my pleas for you and would you know they were mine
Or is this helplessness a prison to which we're both confined?
241 · Dec 2018
Flawed and Admired
Nik Bland Dec 2018
When I look at you and you close your eyes
I think in mine you may see your reflection
And you close your ears when I call you beautiful
Because it makes you think of your imperfections

The smile you wear as you clear your hair
Eyes bright as summer weather
Have me seeing your prim, have me seeing your proper
When inside you’re barely keeping it together

And I will never know a thing
And you will never say a word
Masking behind breathless charm and beauty
Terrors, tears, and woes unheard

Therein will lie the fear that always lingers
The fear that my feelings are lies
As I look at your shell and you see your reflection
And so you’ll close your eyes
235 · Nov 2016
Half-Read
Nik Bland Nov 2016
I failed to read this book beyond a certain chapter
I saw the happily, but failed to recognize the after
The days they seemed to meld together in one large fairytale
Until I turned the page and you were gone
232 · Jul 2018
Faded
Nik Bland Jul 2018
What if we fade?
What if this existence of clay pots
So fragile
Fades
What if chances are not given
No truths
But just skin, bone, muscle
And knowing

Do you know how roses grow
Much less these fleeting seconds
So few
Could we steal, borrow
Beg?
Asking for more, looking for depth
Hearing nothing
Seeing black
Within you and me?
Everything and anything
Faded
231 · Feb 2020
Container
Nik Bland Feb 2020
Fragile porcelain case
Holding 5000 feelings
All screaming at the same
Volume
Head on the ceiling
Heart sometimes at your feet
Pick up again
Pick up again
And try hard
Don’t you always seem
To be at that same
Difficulty?
You think as you always do
“Maybe it’s me”
Brain consistent
And people?

Well... they’re people..

How do you compose yourself
In the midst of
Constant cracking?
Who’s your emotional backing?
Do they stick around
Or do the chorus
Of
5000
Scare them away?
Oh dear
Here
Are
Tears again today
Porcelain sheen
It fades
Blemishes show and
You are revealed
You are you
And the worst part of you
Is the part you hold
In a heart
That is
Picked up again
Picked up again
Dust on the ground
Pick it off
Pick it off

Lest it get on your soul
Seemingly less bold
Or maybe just seemingly less

Porcelain vase
Meat suitcase
Confines of a heart
Picked up again
Picked up again
As feelings trickle out
Spilling 5000 songs at once
Recycled
Never lost
And always
Seemingly
...losing

Dear, there are tears again
Where are your friends?
Are they chipped too?

As I am...
...here for you
228 · Nov 2021
Dawn of the Jackrabbit
Nik Bland Nov 2021
You can stand on both feet all you want to
But nothing changes till you run for your life
The actions amidst the want for consistency
Realizing change rarely comes without strife

You can look to the horizon to your heart’s content
But it’s only a dream unless you race for it
Dreams remain dreams when dreamers aren’t doers
The ground feels the beating feet of the jackrabbit
226 · Jun 2018
what if words were kind...?
Nik Bland Jun 2018
What if the words were kind?
The words inside her head
Crazy as it seems they deem her unworthy
Not worth it
Not worthless
But so close that one more mistake my tip
         Her
Over
                The edge
But what if the words were kind?
The words inside her head
What love would she find for others
If she had love for herself
If she had
Love
           To
                 Spare
So much that there were words left
For her
To not only be hear
But trusted. Believed
Words to fall upon
So that she might
           Not
Shatter
                       Again
And be left to pick up tearing words
226 · Aug 2019
Weight
Nik Bland Aug 2019
There was
Dismay
In the everyday
And a wishing
That the wind
Would
Carry her
To another life
Where the world was
Less than
The backpack of
Rocks
That she carried
That she carries
Uphill
To
This
Day
Double loaded
Packed so tightly
That it could break
And break her
Any moment
And take time
That she never had
In
The
First
Place
One of a million millions
Scattered faces
Nothing special
To anyone
Especially them
Especially
Her-
Self
In a moment
It would replay
In the morning
But still she
Gets
Out
Of
Bed
And for that alone
Dismay is her weight
And she’s strong
220 · Jan 2019
Self
Nik Bland Jan 2019
There was ground under me
That now I can’t seem to find
A love within my grasp
That might have just been in my mind
A blooming flower
That turned out to be imagination
And a reason to live
That was of my own creation
I hear the ticking clock
And realize it’s my beating heart
I’m scared to find the source
‘Cause it might be ripped apart
So much life in front of me
If I could only live it
So much love in front of me
If my heart would just forgive it...

...self
216 · Oct 2021
Light Ups
Nik Bland Oct 2021
Dear you
Please do
Anything you
Feel you need to
Feel
Beautiful
Again

Lovely girl who
Outgrew
Those light up shoes
Grade school
You never
Stopped
Being
213 · Feb 2020
Burn with Me
Nik Bland Feb 2020
There is a match
A rage in me
Held in rooms of kerosene
And time itself
Will decide
Who in flame
Will burn
210 · Dec 2018
Fallen Failures
Nik Bland Dec 2018
Tears fell from eyes that reflected unseen days
Crashing to the floor, one by one
Like fine china upon rocky ground
And Heaven fell with them
Propelled to take the plunge
Stars submerged in saltwater
A sound I’ll never forget

And I chased every tear that fell
Cupping and collecting each shard
Not know that as I held them in my gaze
That I let Heaven shatter
That I forever lost things irreplaceable
For things that simply
Mattered
209 · Jan 2019
The Race Takes it’s Toll
Nik Bland Jan 2019
I looked for you
Amongst the pale and grey
As I saw you fading away
Melting
Into the concrete
Falling to defeat

So I bent a knee
Inaudible prayers for you
Then unlaced my walking shoes
Time
I placed into your cup
Hoping it would be enough

No plan to stop the tears
Inelegant, no grace
Shirt wet where you buried your face
Grief
I lost you in your pale and grey
But I know I’ll find you again in a smile

We’ll speak and measure
Only the amount you need
Contemplating long walks and sore feet
Rising
Don your shoes, pick you up
As you did for me miles before
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