There’s gotta be something wrong with me
Where I fail to begin to see
Where you left and what’s in front of me
And how to keep walking when you’re gone
Pray, God, how do I go on?
I don’t want to go on
When kiss and hands held are shelved
Right next to my self-respect
View of me and you in kissing booths
That my mind cruelly projects
As I watch in horror
At things that keep saying goodbye
And yet they stay
And get their way
In my dismay, oh Lord, I cry
How do I go on?
Silence, darkness, no reply
Silence, darkness, no reply
Silence screaming thoughts, I try
Thoughts of only cloudy skies
No reply
You have dialed an incorrect number
Please hang up and try again
So we may test the other ways
Your faith in love can bend
I’m broken
As I found out 7 minutes ago the line was cut
The killer’s in the house, dear sir
I let her in, but now it’s shut
No hope for me in misery
I’m standing here, yet gone
These constants scenes in front of me
How do I go on?

Dear
Hear
The words of a soul 3000 miles away
Dear
Here
Clear as day the words I say, that they might catch the wind
Darling
Wond’ring
Do we look upon the same sky, at the same stars
Darling
Wond’ring
Where do your thoughts take you, do they wander far
Sweetheart
Part
Not from these straining, stretching words
Sweetheart
Part
Of my unending pledge is the promise of you in my arms again

And could go forward, on and on on how she danced
Within the crevices of my mind to my heart
And I would dance with her if time would only give the chance
But from those days I've found I must depart

The worlds and words of long ago that echo in my veins
A cavalcade of the love that never was or will be
And yet there she dances, oh how she dances
Within my heart and mind's combined memory

There are boxes of unopened letters
Some with return to sender
Yet I cannot surrender a single one
A single word
‘Cause though they’re glued
Though they’re sealed shut
They still come from you

And that’s enough to make the boxes
A treasure and a curse
My mind simply at a loss as I avoided it
At first
Then the emotions you bring up
Yes, you know the very ones
Were the unintentional letter opener
Before I knew the deed was done

There are boxes of opened letter
With some tears the have slightly rendered
Certain words unreadable
Words with the power to render
A world of world
Completely moot
You stole them all
And my heart too

She was the composition
Of a breaking of many things
All the pieces forming a mural
Of an angel with a broken wings

Wilted feather grace the earth
More than her arms can carry
Creating art like stained glass floors
Gracing eyes, hearts, souls, long since buried

Eyes like those of olive orchards
A deep green that kissed the sky
With feet not accustomed to harsh earth
And muddy wings that were once known to fly

Did the thoughts inside your head
Compose all of the tears you shed
So much so that your daily bread
Seems soggy and you unnourished

Do sacrifices you once made
Seem like the sins no one forgave
So that you can’t be saved
As you wallow in the day to day

Do storm clouds just exemplify
Your not wanting to see the sky
Because you know the tears you cry
Just mix in with the rain

It seems bleak in the all in all
But you will rise from every fall
A little stronger, heed the call
And know it’s not in vain

View the scenery
The lesser of attractions
Beyond the lights
The stars
And in the vast, the blackness

The backdrop endlessly
Speaking to ears
Not hearing
I feel you out in space
I think of you so clearly

Prayers float from my mouth
Answered, forwarded to voicemail
My ceiling holds spaces
Atoms form me
And my jail

It’s electricity
That makes chemicals in me
The forms the lonely
Forms the empty
Filled with the scenery

I wish for a dreadful thing
Every night
Wonderful though it may be
My pillow by my side
Emulating you laying next to me

Spaces between compose words
Flicked outside by
Movements of my tongue
I dwell in loneliness
And I pray I’m not the only one

Do you feel lonely?
Beyond your street
These scenic stars?
I pray you long for me
In crowded room, still alone you are

I feel this
Aching too
A rowboat in an endless sea
I look in the black
And pray you’re as lonely as me

You should feel as lonely as me...
... tell me she’s as lonely as me

Selfishness fill the darkness
Lines between concrete seas

Help me believe she’s as lonely as me...

I know these thoughts
They arise
Like moons
Eclipsing light of day
I whisper wicked things
Coated in prayers that float away

These eyes
Dare not close
In case miracles start
In front of me
Maybe my wounded heart injures
But I pray you search till you find me

Eternity is brief, love
We have not a moment
To waste
Two hearts scattered in blackness
Leaking words that float to space

I beg forgiveness
I know my folly
I’ve took too long
No map in darkness
Hope dwindles, but I search on

These words divisive
Selfish as they float
Never to be
Retrieved
I pray you’re lonely
And that you search impatiently

I pray you’re lonely
And ever alone, you ache for me...

Fragments of frozen rain
The falling snow
Graces your nose
Graces windowpanes
And there you are
As if pictures framed
A piece of scripture
So I know your God breathe’d
So in summer I feel your glow
Your warmth
The heat at 10 degrees
And you just try to push on
Which is so special to me
And you don’t belong to me
Yet you warm my soul, you see
Chicken soup to the malady
Of winter days
I’d wish you to stay always

Knowing you have to leave...
...you don’t belong to me

It was a parting word
And a kiss on the cheek
That proceeded
To teach
That sometime we
Are only what we are right now
And not what we’re growing to be
And not what we’re capable of being
And never what we intend to be
And she was
Is, and always will be
Sorrowfully more to me
I’m basking in the misery
Of her effervescent glow
One that I’ll know but never truly know
I tell her I love her
And she tells me to go home
I’d say it’s the final blow
But I know better
I’ll be the faithful knight
And act as if I’m all put together
Because of all I’ve weathered
Because deep down I’m fettered
Holding the key that’s binding me
In hopes I’ll be freed by her
And it’s never that easy
I say how I feel
And cover it with something cheesy
To mask the bold taste
And what I intended it to be
Because I know she’d easily let go of me
Reaching for the next crevice on this cliff
As the rocks move earnestly
And maybe I should leave
And I tell myself I could leave
And I know that I have to leave
But every time she says she needs me
I believe

Shallow streams
Echo in chambers of fallen dreams
In bittersweet visions she
Comes to me
Memories
That come in eves and carry me

Sail away
Rising, the tides scream that things don’t change
Simple complexities
Seem so strange
Still they stay
While she, pristine, is there but out of range

Listen
Love
I may not be perfect
Or even perfect for you
But there another horizon
Where translucent is the heart who
Is waiting to just show
That there is perfect out there
Or at least
Perfect for you

Hearing
Sadness
So many hopes crushed
Not broken, but just stepped on
For you to pick up, wipe off
Your heart within your stomach
Scattering the butterflies
To places where you can’t reach
Because of wings
That are now broken

See
Passion
It’s right within reach
The perfection you seek so avidly
Perfect for you. Custom made
To fill ever crevice
To smooth every fault
To laugh, to cry, to agree, to disagree
But most of all
To love
You love

I do not paint poetry so much as it has painted me
A piece, a portrait calling me until all I can seem to see
Is a pale precarious wonder whose sanctimonious spell I'm under
A creature who seems to outdo even the grandest of nature's wonders
Till all I find is clarity of mind as I can clearly see
That all I stand to sit and see is her poetry that's painting me

I hear almost silent whisp’rings
Hist’ry
Tells me you’ll soon be gone
I promise not to cry o’er unspilled drinks
I think
It may be time to move on
This is selfish self protection
Prevention
From pains once felt before
I’ll take my heart from your grasp
Safer that
It just stay on the floor

With you I’m the least alone
That I have ever felt
And in my mind that’s something
If not anything else
I think I’m chasing something
And my feet hurt as they hit the ground
But with you I at least breathe and slow down

With you I’m the least alone
That I’ve ever dared to be
And I am more transparent
Than around anyone else, genuinely
And happiness it holds my hand
And I don’t feel threatened to let it go first
In fear it’ll leave me like I started but slightly worse

With you I am the least alone
And the least deceitful to myself
And though there are things sorely lacking
In my mental health
I am at least making strides
My legs shaky, but my own
And it hurts sometimes, but I’m learning to grow

With you I am the least alone
But I’m still a nervous wreck
And emotional state
That I pray I don’t project
And I’ll be here as long as I’m allotted
And I’ll consistently be working on me
Because I’ll always be a little bit lonely

But that’s me.

Break this heart of solid stone
Collect these old scattered bones
Warm up what was dead and cold
Then leave it all alone

A hope arising from a glance
A breath that hints at half a chance
A foreign and off-kilter dance
A tear, fear, and sharpened lance

Say aloud who you are
Is it who you pretend to be?

If happiness is such a lofty goal
Then why’s it’s aftertaste misery?

The shoes are on you feet
The road ahead of you is long

It’s time to take first of many steps
Don’t worry if they miss you when you’re gone

Say aloud what you see
And don’t believe it for a second

So many things in your memory
So many more worth forgetting

If love was all it took from you
Then we’d all be better creatures

Remember that even the strongest love
If not maintained, is still a feature

Say aloud what you feel
Feelings are leaves upon a changing wind

So many look to end it all
Because they’re too afraid to begin

Tie yourself to the firmest vow
Be what your wildest wild, your freest free

Say aloud who you are
Is it who you pretend to be?

I pull my heart from off my sleeves and put it in a locket
Shooting the key out on a star as if a foreign rocket
Hoping that they might come across it in all the rubble
Then find me and hold my heart, saving me from search and trouble
Call me foolish and call my wrong to test the hands of destiny
But I value love and know heartache has played its role in testing me
So I will rise to the occasion and let love swing favor to me in the form of fate
For I have found the key to love is to vigilantly watch and wait

Plaster me on every screens
Because I’m too hard to believe
Send out my lies
To watching eyes
And capture ears publicly
Does it matter if things are what they seem?
Distortion’s the base of a dream
Twist the dial
Crank up the smile
And you’ll **** the tar betwixt my teeth
Complaints of maggots in your meat
Pull out your eyes: delicacy
Handle you delicately
Like lambs led to the slaughtering
Let your mind keep wandering
Ignore the life you’re squandering
No one has to change a thing
‘Cause heroes suffice on TV
Just keep on remembering
The past is all you’ll get from me
I come with the pleasantries
Minus results and progressing
Feed the money to the beast
Fatten the goose with cheaper yeast
And walk it to the wolves who feast

Ignore the neighbor next to you
He conflicts with all your views
You never really cared for truths
Or the future of the youths
They are bows upon feces
The gears, they grind, my hair is greased
My words, they war as I speak of peace
Black and white should never meet
The Arabs are the enemy
Ignore all of the suffering
Lift me up to **** the golden ****
Don’t look at my mortality
Ignore the child fatality
Throw out all morality
Grab only within your vicinity
The Mexican’s the villain, see?
Stare at white supremacy
While above the stage, I pull the strings
It all makes sense politically

               It all makes sense politically

It all makes sense politically


                  It all makes sense politically

They reach for eternal hands but hold such mortal fears
Praying it will rain forever to forever hide their tears
And yes, they look up to the sky, but with eyes closed and mouths open
Drowning in the misery of rituals unbroken

Converting vivacious minds by bathing them in drudgery
Comforming them to that what has been must always be
And they them, but I am me, and I hope you choose to be you
Closing your mouth and opening your eyes to see what you aught to

And we must see the breaking to realize fixing must be done
For though the rain may mask the tears, it also masks the sun
No new words have been spoken, only broken down and renewed
To still reach for immortal hand, but also skies of blue

And by her eyes you know she’s curious
In a world jammed full and furious
How she could be something more to anyone but herself

How her voice could be heard amongst the crowd
Or her head be kept under the clouds
How she’s more than just one of the a billion on the shelf

She would sit ever so properly
Trying to be the best that she could be
And the days would leave and greet her where she’d stand

But the princes were for fairytales
In a world that crushed things that were so frail
If they didn’t turn to dust in her own hands

The dragons growing more real each day
With breath of hot terminal dismay
And she was no hero, she was barely her

No sword appearing in her hand
No puzzle in which to understand
The reality that existed, so absurd

And she could give it all up now
Fade to black and take her bow
She could exit such things and just be gone

But she was very curious
In a world of the superfluous
What exactly kept her moving on

I want to get on the wrong train
Go nowhere and head north from there
Instead of staying still in drudgery
In monotony
Driving the same places that lack imagination
And leave my heart dry of inspiration

I want to look at a sea whose name escapes me
Yet I know that’s been calling me all my life
Bathe in the falling leaves of trees that say hello
That say they have been waiting a thousand years for me
Though their grounds have never kissed these feet

I want to get on the wrong train
Sample the rain upon my tongue
And taste the difference between unknown spaces and home
To be aware of my uniqueness and how insignificant it truly is
To breathe unfamiliar air

Let me gaze at unknown stars and see what dreams form
Cross bridges that have supported both hero and tyrant
Let me sing in tongues that write such words that convey universal hopes and fears
Put me on the wrong train and watch me go

You write your dreams
On paper ships
Set them on open ocean
Hoping they will find you

Remnants of hope
On your fingertips
As they grace your lips
Longing to remind you

Glimpses of miracles
Passed by young eyes
Young feet once walked on water
Now you sink like stones

So many paper ships
Cast off to sea
With hope in their creases
As soles stay dry

Alone

I looked for you
Amongst the pale and grey
As I saw you fading away
Melting
Into the concrete
Falling to defeat

So I bent a knee
Inaudible prayers for you
Then unlaced my walking shoes
Time
I placed into your cup
Hoping it would be enough

No plan to stop the tears
Inelegant, no grace
Shirt wet where you buried your face
Grief
I lost you in your pale and grey
But I know I’ll find you again in a smile

We’ll speak and measure
Only the amount you need
Contemplating long walks and sore feet
Rising
Don your shoes, pick you up
As you did for me miles before

You don’t have to call me home, my love
Just call me, my dear
For it has been too long, too long
And your voice I long to hear

For days have gone like sands in wind
And autumn’s end shook the leaves
Your lips I can see so vividly
But not a word they’ve breathed

Brittle old bones sing
Past there beds
In long ago buried fields
Overgrown in green
By
Voices of those
Who
Will them to existence
Persistently invoking departed souls
Within long ago written verses
That have not lost their luster
But echo on the voices
Of ones who will join such silence
But live on through a song
Persistent in their hearts
And so the bones will sing
With voices not their own
Far past eternal beds
In fields where they stay

He looked at her
Without saying a single world
In ways that broke her heart
And sewed it shut again
Placing unseen characters
Upon the walls and chambers
That meant so much
But said so little in the end
‘Twas not the words
But all the promises in between
That knocked violently
In the confines of her soul
And in what seemed a glance
She knew that she was lost
With the string that was his presence
Making her whole

Dear
Why are you here?
There is so much waiting for you
You’ve got the key, open the door
Tears
Fall upon deaf ears
They are not blind, I must remind you
They cry as well so they can’t find you
Will you
Hold back for now
Push the pain into a corner
Join the ones who seem much bolder
Hear
The mourning of the crowds
Find just one who desperately needs
And then proceed to turn the key
So they can be
And just maybe
Then you can be

So you say you’ve fallen out of love?
Can I follow you?
So long you’ve been all I can think of
It’s so hard not to do
Tell me if your lips of cherry red
Are stained from biting at my heart
You do so well in the pull away
Masterful in the art to part

So you say you’ve fallen out of love?
Can you show me how?
Often I find hope rising in my mind
And tears falling down
Do you see the agony in it?
Are you so selfish you won’t teach?
Love has been an ever present goal
And you’ve pulled it out of reach

So you say you’ve forgotten how to love?
Preach to me your unknown pains
I am a disciple, faithful, but shunned
Whose given much with little gain
Fragment of your heart under lock and key
Mine openly offered in my hands
Tell how you cauterized such pains
Help me understand

So here I am alone and still on love
Top of the peak
Feelings I have yet to make sense of
No words left to speak
And in the silence I then understand
That look echoed in your soul
How you fell so quickly out of love with me
Because of a love you can’t let go

What of these chains within this thing called love?
Will we ever be free?
Someday will some foolish heart come to break
And ask the same of me?
Is there such thing as truly falling out of love?
Or are you hanging there?
Forever holding out for who you’re thinking of
And running out of air

Distant memories
Fluctuating crescendos
I would let them go
But they’re already well past gone

Is this moving on?
Involuntarily ripping
Steady stripping
Of all I deem near
Of all that seems dear
It rises, then falls
Like thoughts of the shore

When was the last time
It filled your lungs
The scent of a happy day
The taste of that fleeting moment

Who was there that made it all
Worth it

Perfect

And do you chase them?
Though they’re nowhere in sight

Does the falling sound like waterfalls?
Can you hear your heart longing
Every note she wrote, she wrote to you
Pen fervent, pulse stalling

Does the falling sound like waterfalls?
Are you drenched? Are you dry?
Amidst the rushing life, stand still
See what so often eludes your eye

Does the falling sound like waterfalls?
Is the calling drowned and out?
Float like reeds or sink like stones
As words tumble out your mouth

Does the falling sound like waterfalls
When it echoes in your soul?
Will you let the floodgates open?
Or by the depths be swallows whole?

These are broken days
Breaking days
And we succeed
By simply keeping
It all together
It mostly together
Some of it together
Seconds tearing us apart

I want to be there
How is your heart?

Parting words in days
Quickly departing days
As we succeed in
Doing something
Finding somewhere
Wanting enough that
The doing gets done
When eyes open
And we choose to get out of bed

And out of our own heads
Amidst the stress and lonesomeness

Rise from the lonely days
Though lonely, lovey days
As we succeed with
Each breath
Each breath taken
And those we donate it to
No matter the task
No matter the mission
To look at a world of spiraling hate
And to choose
The shortest distance
Between a supply and demand of love

To find the straight line
Love as the crow flies

Oh please believe me
How I waited so longingly
I stayed faithful so long
Moment came and went
‘Till my tears had all dried
And I found resentment

Words mean nothing to those who advise
They only see lonely inside of these eyes
They go against this song
I’ve sung for so long
Leaving me questioning
If the notes are all wrong

Oh please believe me
How I waited earnestly
The candles were lit
But ran out of wick
The wax on the floor
Acting as evidence

Lights seemed dimmer with you gone
But eyes adjusted and feet walked on
The world turned amidst my protest
My heart kept beating to my behest
And there I stood still living on
Without you there, at my half best

Oh please believe me
I was captivated with your memory
Never moving on
You, my sun and dawn
But time went by
And you stayed away too long

Run swiftly said the wolf and the winter will not fall
Howl long and deep and you shall not hear it's call
Keep an ear to the wind and your gaze never flinching
And the coming snow will never greet your coat

The grass will stay lush and the ground never freeze
The sky will stay blue and the birds in the trees
Your belly full and your legs steadfast and strong
Run swiftly to where winter won't follow

So on I ran with the wind at my side
My feet a blur and my eyes filled with pride
And yet the faster I flew, the colder I became
'till winter came and swallowed me whole

Singing lyrics she forgot that she forgot
Staring at a ceiling as if answers were written there
Working hard for something that just can’t be bought
Wondering in the midst of sunshine if it will rain again

Gazing into her eyes makes me a cosmonauts
A black void of mystery littered with stars of hope
She whispers something sweet and then abruptly stops
Sunny showers while indoors on a weekend

He won a long time ago
Something I failed to see
And I lost what I never had
Foolish, persistent me

There was no contest
Yet the loss feels the same
A simple slip was all it took
And it’s an utter shame

And I’ll blame me though you will it not
These are how these things go
Three word meant you were lost to me
As the fight came down to blows

He won a long time ago
It was never up to me
You love was written, you heart was given
And it took up to now to concede

I saw flowers in her hair
As if from there they’d grown
Daisies formed into a crown
Upon the head of Rose

And Rose was what they called her
Though Violet her true name
With daffodils in her hands
Freshly dripping with summer rain

She smelled of bloomed gardenias
Like a sunflower, she looked to the light
A lily amongst thistles and weeds
Lips of pink and skin of white

She was the rarest of them all
But a wildflower in heart and soul
Able to grown in the midst of weeds
Blooming, striving, gold

I see you
And there you stand
Woman of grace
Of passion
Of eloquent wonder
Lady composed
Of softest dream
And biting reality
Who flows and encompasses
Like water
But consumes
Like fire
And shines bright
Creating the closest thing
We
As lessers in the grander
Have to seeing stars
And tears fall from my eyes
In the hearing
And the knowing
As your hand meets
Mine
That you aren’t made
For me
What cruelty is this
That such a
Gift
Such a
Wonder
Such gold in the midst
Of a mountain of treasure
Can never know
What sweet things
Owning such can bring?
And like that
God brings
A humble man to his knees
Lovely
Beyond me
Beyond my grasp
Lovely
Ever fervent
In fury or in solace
Lovely
Ever natural
Yet otherworldly
LOVELY
Ever present
That burns in my mind
Not for me

...not for me

So I hope lovely
For lovely’s sake

Honey
Lady so golden
Sweet to my cracked lips
Nature’s gift so unscathed

Angel
Divinely incomparable
Life in its purest
Beauty unsurpassed

Sweetheart
From my head to fingertips
Pumping in purpose
Unceasing, even still

Darling
Lovely holding my hands
Dream walking in reality
Unending in your tapestry

Dearly beloved
Bless’ed the fall
The unbroken fever
The irrational action

Deprive yourself
Transcend your need
Disregard shaking weariness
Stand so they may rest

Drown in the flood
Pour our more than you consume
Value in the poverty
Worth in the humility

Warm with the sticks
Support with the stones
Build from broken pieces
Take note of blood and blister

Twisting tongue, rest
Worried mind, ease
Torn heart, stitches
At a table with room for just two

Dearly beloved
Death due, all parts
Gather these feeble visions
Make something greater from the least

May this be the vow

Mattress no longer on my back
I’m on this high again
Your eyes form a dream
From which I chose not to defend

Oh my love
My personal cut
Of homebroken ******

Here we go again
A heart in the race
Hoping to reach the end

Colors swirl around my head
And they sing your sweet testaments
Swirling within liquor like lies
To your sobering truth

Flowing through veins
Sapped of passion
Synapses on overdrive

I look into your eyes
And the skies pull me
Dangling me between heaven and misery

Dripping a sweet soliloquy
From my lips at the sight of you
Here in a purgatory of hope made for myself
Marvelous in its hues

Drugged on the memory
The melody
Praying out of looming loneliness

Here I stand again
Heart on my sleeve
I believe

Here we go again

Whistle these lessons
In a chord progression
Reminiscent of birds
That felt spring on their wings

I have heard tales
Of enraptured ship sails
That follow horizons
Of which mortal men sing

Let memories flash
Like the waves that often crash
Make me passenger, captain
In the sea of my mind

Let me look skyward
To hear the whist’ling bird
That escaped to spring
To leave winterland behind

I saw flowers in her hair
As if from there they’d grown
Daisies formed into a crown
Upon the head of Rose

And Rose was what they called her
Though Violet her true name
With daffodils in her hands
Freshly dripping with summer rain

She smelled of bloomed gardenias
Like a sunflower, she looked to the light
A lily amongst thistles and weeds
Lips of pink and skin of white

She was the rarest of them all
But a wildflower in heart and soul
Able to grown in the midst of weeds
Blooming, striving, gold

If I break my heart then I can share pieces with you
And with the state of mind I’m in, it seems the thing to do
But what if you take the biggest one and leave the rest of me behind?
Will my eyes open wider or will my intentions leave me blind

What if I were to give my best as so often we are taught
Only to find that your affection is not one gained, but bought
Will my pockets imitate my hands, my heart, and emptiness ensue
For me to come to the conclusion my best is not enough for you?

You left me scatter brained from the first, the very sight
A consistent fact that proves itself by keeping me up at night
Losing someone requires that you had them in the first place
And the silence insists on lessons gained and pieces gone to waste

How
    You
  Fail
Me
So

With words of shattered diamonds
So precious
But are as sand to deserts

    How
They
         Pierce
   My
Sole

Causing me to slow my pace
To stop
A race I am now sure to lose

          I’m
In
    Your
            Control

A simple play thing of no consequence
A grain of sand
Amidst a desert of a trillion billion lies

Some
Day
    I’ll
       Let
           Go

Someday I’ll find me in all of this
I’ve been filled
With ignorance

Diamonds mean little to a heart dying
Of thirst

My words echo
And float in the night
Till I’m not sure they’re mine
And there you stand
Apart from me
Each syllable slowing time

It’s a crap shoot
Because I’m far too proud
To claim words birthed from me
But to my surprise
I look at you
And I repeat

“Please don’t leave”

I’m a train wreck
Lack social grace
And a whirlwind of doubt
Why you stayed
So long in my arms
I can’t figure out

You are beautiful
I’ve said it before
I could stand to say it more
But you’ve come to this
And the fact are clear
Your hand’s at the door

So the walls break down
And the rivers run
My pride is all but drowned
My legs are weak
Buckling under me
Knees and tears hit the ground

I am not this man
And this is not the time
I know it hard to believe
But my love for you
Transcends my vanity
So stolen words form a plea

“Don’t leave...”

I am passionate
And it scares some
But it scare me most of all
I make my plans
Like a foolish man
And watch them as they fall

There’s not much here
I’m too much sometimes
Prices of passion through and through
I don’t act like this
For just anyone
But it pours out for you

Look me in the eye
I see what you see
Too much way too fast
You dictate to me
To speak my truths
As these moments may be our last

And my sword is words
And my shield my art
Vocation I so easily weave
But choking back tears
Floating words then fall
Etched in my heart

“Don’t leave me... please...”

Please.

I wish you could hear the shaking of these bones
To know how brave I am with you, yet scared when I’m alone
My ****** Snacks have all run out and there’s no motivation
Praying my legs keep me up and that there’s no escalation

My mind is the one that drives such thoughts into my head
Suffering from choices that might conclude in accompanying the dead
Fear is all that drives my consistent anxiety
And I long for you, for what I fear is me