I try my hand at poetry,
I am no great talent.
I write words that flow endlessly and messily
from my heart, merging with the words
my brain creates in its boredom.

I try my hand at being a girlfriend,
I have no great talent at this either.
For I often ruin my own good standings,
as if to stand only a little higher than my partner.

I try my hand at helping,
though I do not extend it as often
as I like. Most days it is hard enough
taking my own hand.

I try my hand at greatness,
though it cannot be measured
until the day comes where the only
thing my hand tries is resting for
eternity.

I am not infallible.
Nor the almighty, powerful.
I am not creator
I am not better,
but I am.
And the differences lies in my believing,
what
I
**am.

A midwinter dream,
the land of living betwixt,
I find mostly serene.

There are days, though, it seems
this land is full of conflict
and less of dreams.

This land of death and screams
where children take their last breaths,
and everyone demands to know what it means.

Take solace in the fact one cannot intervene,
a spot is secured with every death
on the better side of things.

And be thankful, in the end, it is not up to us- you see,
The Lord taketh, and he giveth, and so who the hell are we?
I would much rather remember, than be the one to take away another's dream.

We'll always have...
Orion, there to cheer up any fight.

each other, since we've been together
and every. other. single. night.

the holy place.
and all it's mystical wonders.

I'll always have you,
I've since needed nothing other

than your soul
& mine together

No better time could be spent.

I love you more than evil men
love having power, greed, and lust.

I love you there & back again,
until my heart feels like it could bust.

I love you more than I love loving you,
laugh at that if you must.

But the love I love, while loving you
is hardly enough love, it is unjust.

I'm just discovering,
baby,
that's what I was made to do.
I'm never done learning,
even about...you.
But the waters keep churning,
I'm just floating through
observing
swerving
and turning
over and over
the things I go through.

I've got to keep at it, baby
For me
and
for you.
Maybe because I've been through so much crazy,
I'm always searching for something new.

brick*  
                                                      
­                                       *by

                                                           ­         brick
we build a nation on gold.
we lay foundation.
using cement made of souls.
we throw pocket change at you,
you hope it might pay the rent.

brick  
                                                   ­   
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

we hope you notice our tricks.
so we can enslave or recruit you,
but you'll never be "in".

brick  
                                                   ­   
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

We exist in plain sight.
We guise ourselves in importance
"integrity", and might.

brick  
                                                   ­   
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

We built a white house,
if it doesn't follow our direction
We'll easily tear it down.

brick  
                                              ­        
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

We monitor your "homes"
Though meager and uninteresting
We'll catch you should you roam.

brick  
                                                   ­   
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

We are controlling the world.
You think you get it, you don't.
And you never will, girl.

brick  
                                                   ­   
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

We use everything to fight against you.
Inflation, taxation, gas prices
Even how much you'll pay during cold season
for a tissue.

brick  
                                            ­          
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

We hope you keep accepting.
If you don't look too closely
You'll never notice what we're neglecting.

brick  
                                        ­              
                                       by

                                                           ­         brick

We hid our ghosts in history.
If you pay attention to the patterns,
you might just learn from me.

I love to take in truth,
but act out lies.

I look for all sorts of proof,
but ignore the impending demise.

For someone in their youth,
I have a lot of worry lines.

Beating my head against you,
like a slightly saner Amanda Bynes.

You keep telling me I'm okay,
and maybe we are fine.

But there's something in the way,
I keep saying all my lines.

What is the reason for my dismay?
I believe it comes from a different time.

I keep praying you won't let me push you away.
But I've got a self-destructive rhyme.

You are loved.
There is truth in that.
There is a God above
who doth prove that.
For wherever you are,
wherever you were at,
There is always love.
Believe, if anything,
in that.

There's a lot
I don't know
There's a place
I won't go.
To the territory of the evil.
Because they seldom let go.
they open their arms
They promise no harm
But when you're looking down
Trapped in a frown
Crying out loud
They've got you
And they won't let go

You think it's better than rules
You think survival is your tool
Worshiping fools,
Don't you know?
You're better off believing
With all your being
That's someone I'd like to know

Run away with my words,
transform yours into something new.

I trust not in the Lord when I do this to you.
I trust in myself, to get what I want.
I trust in myself my desires I'll flaunt.

I am no good, unless I'm good.
That I can admit.
I am no good to anyone else,
unless I can quit.

I am good enough,
I was put here afterall.
For some sort of purpose.
For some sort of call.

...........
.........

                ..........              
                      ­            ............
                                                    .....       ­        ........
                                                        ­
                                                                ­        ........
                                                ­   .......
freedom
Seven different tabs open,
but a single one I never needed.
Copped a fresh attitude
questioning whether or not I even believe it.
I wasn't born into love
so I can't explain how badly I need it.

free it

Like a slave given a ticket to the underground,
I open my chest and upon this mess
I hope I can expound.

type it out and my internal clock gets set to "rewound"

Now all I hear from life is a bunch of sounds.
Pressure from the world to be different,
so I'm not around.
Cannot relax when I come out and they all look down.
Cannot relax because inside my mind these problems are found.

When you come from nothing
and you manage to float along
without encouragement or loving,
just basic sad songs.

You grow into something troubling,
and it doesn't take long
before you're only shrugging
when someone who used to be a friend
asks you what's wrong.

I'm only saying this because I was that something
after living without love for so long,
I was broken and struggling
and there was no proper way to get on.

Because this world owes you nothing,
not even a dad and a mom
I accepted that and gave up trusting
Maybe that's where I went wrong?

Why do we ignore all these spoken words?

We've had
poets,
rappers,
artists,
and actors
tell us as
it were.

Now I, myself, have spit one or two verse
and I need to let you know  I will be heard.*

You call for a social media blackout and
there they sit thinking, " How absurd!"

But when it comes down to it
what do you do when there is
no reaction* to your tear-filled  words?

Is it because we have adapted to being so passive,
when there's ****, murders, lynchings, and theft
we just take it in passing?

Or is it because we can look the other way,
when the hands of a white man
take the life of a different ethnicity away?

Is it in relation to power?
We close our eyes
and pray.
But where is the action
for justice in this final hour?

What is it that you do to help this land?
Other than observe and comment snidely
on your fellow man?

It is no tragedy for a loss of life?
While you ponder your "newsfeed"
via social media
via your Iphone
via your wifi
....
Consider the point when you lost touch with real life.

Isn't it so funny?
The difference between real life
and the internet,
The ways that they both love me...
it ain't really that different.

People just want ya full commitment
To not feelin indifferent
Can't treat them any different
Just because all that love they had went missin'
just because the love isn't the same anymore
just because ya name isn't just a name anymore.
Or they want to feel closer to fame than the door.
I don't know.

Oh, this is not that type of game.
This is just from the place where I came.
Oh, I don't want to complain
How do you trust anyone when you factor in fame?
I don't know.

I am a dying breed*
sent forth to make you believe
I see in all things
The power to transform to higher beings.

Oh, what we're taught
Versus what we bought.
Lies in the lines
Spewing from the top.

Now we're all confused
mind tampering by fluoride
They say it's not abuse
kind of like being beaten at Occupy

The world needs a muse
better than Beyonce
I'm not saying I will light the fuse
I'm just saying what they're not saying.

It is up to us to choose
If it is our game or theirs we're playing
Because if it's left up to you
Is it even your words you're saying??

All these things we've done before
All these things we have once seen.
There's a life inside locked doors,
Once opened reveals a dream.
I've heard you sing these chords
You're exactly what you seem.
The pride of my soul,
A twin beam.
Light we can't control
Shines upon everything.
The world will knows our names
But you and I live an Earthly dream.

TVs didn't raise us.

You admitted the reason for all that appearance,
is because you feel you have nothing to give.

President Obama told America he's just an actor.

America could quit putting their faith, stock, and money into other people and calling them celebrities.

Anyone influential read my poetry.

My poetry made you realize you ARE that influential person reading my poetry.

Everyone got on the "I'm a spirit with a body" truth.

Everyone realized none of us know what we're doing and we're just making it up.

We all took the sticks out of our ***** and stopped judging one another so much.

We forced parents to actually be parents when they conceive.

George Orwell saw modern day America.

You started paying attention to the signs.
You listened to your intuition.
You directed your life by your moral compass....
**YOU WOKE UP.

Everything I thought I'd ever be
Everything I thought I'd ever do
Means nothing to me,
Compared to a reality with you.

****.****.****.
what do you do when your water
has dried up?
What do you do when it isn't enough?
Don't I have other things than us?
Because I have been working.
Haven't I?
I have been dreaming...
haven't I?
Maybe I'm just not thinking
or am I?
There's a world in your eyes.
But what lies
within
mine?
I don't see time.
You feel sublime.
And frankly,
I am tired of my own rhymes.
I pray to the Divine.
And there's something I am doing,
or not doing,
right.
AND IT IS SOMETHING
I am scared
**I CANNOT FIND.

I am blooming,
into a human.

And it's consuming
I feel ruined.

I am just doing
what everyone else is doing.

Or is it truly
that insecurity is looming
overhead and I'm stewing
a girl with potential
for brewing
potions of resentment
and wrong doings.
I guess it is just me
that I am *******.
Whatever it means,
I'm through pursuing
these fruitless things
I keep doing.

You and me,
what do we see?
Is it just a newsfeed,
or a platform from which I can speak?
Or a healthy host to spread disease?
Or something inconvenient like a nosebleed?
I should be reading about Meiosis,
or following a dream.
But I'm here at this desk
staring at this screen.
And I'm blank
and in pain,
and totally not serene.
Is it okay to not know what I mean?

Please don't lie,
yeah it is okay.
I know what I saw,
that look on your face.
And you can't use logic to
erase
There's a point to my knowing,
and that is just the case.
You keep going
at some crazed, lying pace.
Forever unknowing
it isn't okay.
I kept on hoping
You'd see it someday
That look which really scared me away.

People flock to us cause the word drops through us.
Now we're all either Buddhas or barracudas.
Lookin' through our maneuvers,  
try and out do us,
just a tumor nothing to us.
And I've been breathing so long,
lettin in light.
Try and discern when they began confusing wrong with what is right.
Wondering still how long I remain out of sight.
Perish or ****,
I just wanted to be with life.

I don't care if I lose you.
I don't care if you're not reading this.
I don't care if I confuse you,
because there are bigger reasons I exist.

You might not understand me.
Or even want to try.
You are not the One who planned me,
So don't feel slighted that I won't cry.

You may feel threatened,
or admire me so much.
That you use your affections as a weapon,
because you desire greatly, my touch.

All of these things are just a condition of our existence.
The only way to overcome it is through genuine persistence.
I can only be better than who I was before.
If you cannot do that, then what are you here for?

This is not a race war,

This is a let us change our pace war,

It is time to attempt to save face or

Let them brainwash us to hate one another more.

I've been thinking
amiss all this drinking
There's a feeling of sinking
and I have only had two.

There's warfare
and there's no cares
and that's unfair
Just look at what I do to you.

And that's evil.
My spirit feels feeble
Because through this upheaval
I observed I don't have the slightest clue
about what the **** I should do.

So- I'll fight harder,
pray I act smarter,
And resist anything that is darker,
than the light of me and *you.

Life is the truest paradox,
Go ahead, and give it some thought.

Well if you're wanting honest,
sometimes I know it all.

I have said it before,
and with this, they will surely have a ball.

But here's another truth.
I know nothing at all

Blame it on my worldly youth,
certainly not the alcohol.

I have persisted in being right,
but self-righteous? I ain't that type.

Hollywood smile, and a body to match
Seemingly lovely, but there's certainly a catch.

Watch your sins and thy evil back.
I am of light, and in fact,
I am coming for atonement
of those opponents who lack
grace and love behind their backs

I AM SEEKING.
dethronement,in the form of modern day locust.
A plague on your houses, as I focus
on what you hide out of sight.
**I find my best days
come after ridding the world
of the longest and darkest nights.

There's happy moments and wonderful cheers!
Drink is plenty and love in the air
Until one carries himself somewhat unfair
Now they turned away and closed their ears.
It's so hard to understand
A modern man's fears
Nothing goes according to plan
And your wasted years
Seem to outweigh the meaning
Of those well spent
You lie awake feeding
On stifled tears.
Because no one likes the truth
But they'll covet their youth
Turn away from proof
As the love and cheers-
*****

We established who I am,
In the Master's plan
But really who are you?
Do you influence what I go through?
Do you have a hand
Stirring up
The order of fate seemingly run amok.
I'm trying to figure you out
Do you scream?
Do you pout?
At least I know you're wicked
in your ways,
Illuminate the truth as it flickers,
Lest some "secret" society brings about the end of our days.

It is easy

to just be

I am easy.
life is easy.
if you know
how to see

& I want to let
the whole world see...
how they can float on life,
                            *simple as a breeze.
You flounder,
we wander,
in what is meant to be.
I say it because it is truth,
I say it because it is what eye sees.

If I could, I would
give to my old self,
what I have in me.
But I can't,
and you can
take all my wealth
from me....
**Let
my
lessons
live,
and
please
learn
you
need
only
be.

stayed true
straight through
never strayed from you.

It creeps
inside company we keep,
latching on
I beseech
You to reach
forward and teach
me to escape thy leech.
the darkened soul
always on patrol
Looking to take hold
of *souls made of gold.
My dear soul so old.
Filled one thousand forms before me,
and in the morning it may come
A darkened soul  adores me,
Now I spend eternity on the run.
You were never for me
But to me you held a gun,
"Forget any other for me."
"No no, you are not the one."
Even the brightest soul made just for me,
**can not compare to the love of the Sun.