These hands
Written on by life
Will write
With only my words
This death I’ve died
A thousand times
Is mine alone

This skin
That stood out in fields
Alone
That has drowned in  sees
Alone
That has scarred from
Words and glances

These veins
Pumping through
This life force
The blood that brought
The marrow to the bone
That brought a life
That was never mine
Into the fabric of this body
Into the struggle, the effort
The wisdom, the peace

The day I was launched off my feet
Sleep crawling
To side lines
That I might never leave
The debris
Has scattered into memories
Forgotten
Even by themselves

These lungs
Have whispered prayers
Bellowed poems
And swallowed pride
Choking on the ghost of death
One last time

These bones have set
In crooked ways
A skeleton
That’s lost
The art of support
Stiffened from
Bracing for impact

From the very day
That I decided
That if I can’t shine
I’ll slay
Support myself in every which way
Support this weight
That I’ve hoisted on my shoulders
These boulders
That I’ll stand up

These feet
Leaving no trace
But the distance between us,
Will go
Where no-one will find me
Will dance through ditches
Curve into corners
Coast out of questions
Throttle and choke
The fear

Atomic, we are
She and I,
And all of us
Covalently co-valiant
Exchanging energies
Between us
Building a bond
That’ll keep us entangled
Our essences
Bursting out of shells
That’ll no longer define
Our properties
We change states
As we do shapes
Solidly condensed, we are
No longer ephemeral
Feminine, maybe
But on our own terms
Strongly nuclear
In our common core

These chances that surround us
As subatomic particles
Descendents from the brightest stars
Blinking in and out of
An existence that registers
On cosmic scale alone
These bones
Might tingle
Hinted by a ripple
Traveling through time and space
That once returned to dust
Our essences might mingle
And dance on winds as one
This spine, yet
That I was taught to have
Has stiffened
Standing firm above the force fields
A scarecrow there to daunt
Even the dustbowl of our love

I wish I could feel the pull
That I would know where to go
To be in her reach
Which frequency to tune into
To feel this spirit
Fuel my soul, form my self

There, where the universe is flat
I gain a dimension
Am brought into my extensions
Where the background energy
Keeps drafting the blueprint
Of me

But when left to my own devices
In a world that towers over me
I am lowered into voids
In which I can't but disappear

I wish I were made of steel
Drawn to her, magnetic
Through a space, permeated by it
This body it inhabits
For a short while
Matter, embodying the story
The narrative that whispers
Of what is

And me
One story incarned
Suspended in this vacuum of ignorance
Until returning to a wave state
Tuned into the frequency
Of reality

How?
If even there were
A force in this universe
Sustaining life beyond just breath
Beyond this web of neurons
Firing in predictable patterns
Prescribing every inclination and desire
A flame in which is fully forged
The consciousness that
Dreams and dares all things
Beyond our mere survival

If even there were such a force
How would it be made known?
How does a foundation work
When the fundamental building blocks
Are massless, pointlike?
As much wave as particle
Basking in the sunlight of uncertainty
Existing in duality

How, when everything else is
Nothingness
A void a million billion times more extensive
Than anything substantial
That surrounds it
A vacuum that renders
The remaining matter pointless
How could force be hollow
Yet encompass all
What does it all mean
When all of matter falls in between

This unseen field
Rippling, wriggling, rigging
Everything it fills with the seedlings of decay
Each day
Moving along the breakdown towards
Entropy
Splendid chaos,
Almost too perfect to be called such

How could we not see
The force
Still elusive, but unchanged
Striking a balance
Between fate and volatility
The neverending battle
That morphs each how into a why
The demon and the butterfly

When it comes down to it
At the elemental level
Of this reality
There’s me and there’s you
The anti-me
Perfectly symmetrical, but anti-
Me
Linked so closely
Yet
Ill-fated to be
Upon collision
Destined for annihilation
Leaving only traces
Of the energy that bound us
From opposite sides of the charge
Of the mystery

Yet this, here, you and I, we
Matter
Separated by the fundamental differences
In our nature
Still, both, tethered
To the laws of physicality
The laws of motion that are woven
Into the fabric
Of this galaxy
This universe
That sees us
That sees you
Unversed in the ways of being part of someone’s world
A rare but precious sight
And me,
Beyond any particular probability
Afraid of what could be
Of the decimation that would ensue
Upon our union,
Opting out of the us, the me and you,
Instead to be
The anti
You

Why light another candle
For a soul already lost
Why say another prayer
For a world as contorted
That words, so hollow
Are worthless
Mere moulds we fit to
A deformed sense of purpose
Mostly,
Heaven is what works for us
At any given time
Just as often a struggle to overcome
As it is a fate we acquiesce in
Victory, contentment
Both equally worthy
Of pursuit
Both virtues
Both sins
Ever in need of salvation
We breathe life into
The miracle of the mundane
Resurrecting a reasoning that absolves
Reincarnating a consciousness of hope
Of whatever will let us
Exalt it, adore it,
Extract from it
A narrative
To subscribe to
To believe in
To be God

Look at me and see
A dancing apple tree
These branches representing
All of my extensions
All the ways I’m extending
Away from my roots
Look
Look at me swaying in the wind
Dipping my toe into every new thing
As if it were a lifeline
A way to strengthen my spine
To grow
And withstand the next storm
So look at me spread
This canopy of leaves
Towards the sun
Drinking in the light
The life
That gets me through another season
Look at me breathe
The chest of my stem expanding
Breathing in the dust of life
Breathing out the rust of death
The stem of my chest collapsing
Under the weight of the dawn
Retracting from this lifting mist
Until the senses settle in to old patterns
And my tree dances
No more

Surely I would know it
If there were any truth to this
The senses, yet, are treacherous
And mostly so’s the wit

Truly I’ll believe it
When intuition strikes
The mirrors running liquid
Through my mind

Freely, I would will it
Convinced by logic’s myth
But ignorance is willfulness
And indifference is bliss

Clearly I can see it
Awoken from reality
Plugged into a conscience
That feeds on mere deceit

Naturally, I am it
The being and the time
Meddling in reality
Mistaking truth for mine

This land we inhabit
Staking our fences
The lens through which we see the world
From behind windows and hedges
Spectators of passers-by
Random sidewalk happenstances
We live vicariously through
What lives on the outside of our plots
Our parcels, our lots, our allotments and our storylines
Where branching out will always be
Punished by pruning and
Shielding off of stretching out
The ground beneath our feet too fixed and stable
To switch
When plots thicken
It does nothing
But hold us in place

When push comes to pull, we
We're electromagnetic
I, the static
You, the current
Drifting through circuits
Conducting
Affected as ever
The force field wielding its powers
Laying out the potentiality
Of energy
However relative
Charged with the burden of proof
The vector pointing at you
Radiating truth
Yet, whether we attract or repel
Is just a matter of reference

Het verleden begeeft het
Verweet het me eerst nog
Niet te zijn geworden
Wat kon
Nu
Nu beleeft het
De kleuren, de klanken, de stilte
Nu weet het
Dat wat gisteren miste
Vandaag was
Scheef gegroeid door de jaren
De kaders, de verhalen, de adem
In wat van mij is
Uit wat verraadt ***
Goed
*** dit slechts
Het tipje van de sluier is
*** de ontluistering
Leidt tot luister
Tot alles wat rauw en puur is
Wat echt is
Het vroeger van vroeger hoopte
En bad
Maar vreesde
Het vroeger van nu belooft me
En leert
Dat angst nooit in me zat
Ondanks het vroeger groeide ik
Vergroeide ik, met mezelf
Bloedde ik
Maar niet zonder te voelen
Ondanks het vroeger
Vermoedde ik
Dat de missende link
Verlicht was
De liefde was
De liefde is

Ik meet mijn leven in gemiste kansen
Weet steeds weer te berekenen
*** anders de ander, *** anders ik anders
Was geweest
Verleden verandert het heden het meeste
Als de reden het verklaren wil
Achteraf is altijd makkelijk leren
*** je vroegere zelf je jeugd heeft verspild
Miste ik meer dan ik had mogen meemaken
Of was er toch al weinig weggelegd?
Met elke dag wordt het wachten minder
Dwingend, minder resultaatgericht
Lichtelijk verlaten kijkt de klok me weg van toen
Het leven me nog aan de voeten lag
Maar de rijkdom van de tijd
Aan mij niet was besteed
Vergeten blijft altijd een keuze van onwetendheid

We worship words
While words have lost all meaning
Pinned down and carved out
Hollow sounds
Mere moulds we fit to the world around

If the quantum is foaming
Roaming space for a chance to manifest
Lest it neglect to collapse in on itself
Then who am I

To negate the hypothesis
That life is ineffable
Interfering with the pattern
That would have else entangled me
Instead,
I find myself a wave function
Undetermined until interacted with
Insignificant until observed

Who am I to challenge
That everything is energy
Rising through the ranks of probability
A wavelength contracting  
An equation waiting to materialize

Who am I to doubt
That uncertainty is anything less
Than a superposition  
A potential to fill
The vacuum to the brim
With vibrations that extend far beyond the evidence
Fluctuations fulfilling a destiny  
Of singularity
A momentum to make matter matter

Worth wondered why
I didn't want Him
While He was always
A better companion
Than fear
Why I deemed Him more a
Question of value
A question at all
While He merely was
Wonderfully enough

El muro me das
Sin mostrarme la puerta
Huérfano soy, de alma y pie
Limites pintas
En colores de retos
La pintura me vendes a cambio de paz
Libertad tomas
La conviertes en miedo
Con sangre escribes mi nueva canción
Promesas me haces
De pasión y impacto
Los confundes con lucha y labor
Me haces creer que
Deseo rodera
Sentirme segura y en comodidad
Me robas del nuevo,
Ser aventurero
Mis sueños ahogas en ayer

Blank heart, blank life
Your pen leaves ink stains,
Black rivers
That seep into my palms
Drip down my hands
Stain my fingerprints
With traces of you
I sit here,
On the edge of mystery,
A thriller, open-ended
Jibberish wishes that
Stumble off my lips and listen
Only to where your music flows
Beats, blows through unsteady determination
Plaster falling from walls as
Shels from eyes
Fresco revelation

Tonight is the hypothesis
Predicting possibility
Molding what we are
Into mathematical equations
You + I = the great unknown

Halfway into solid soils,
These roots have changed their minds
Fractures welcomed quickly
For a chance at new sustenence
Broken, they are, still,
Open to a fresh start

A shard has found its way,
Its place, its role,
Its eternal purpose
Part of a whole as broken as he is
Still, life, painted out of imperfections
Only cracks and stains
Form patterns that mean anything

The waves roll in
Broken against rocks, cliffs,
Heady as the lists they offer their battles to
Never stilling the insatiable thirst for living
Yet always enough
To toil, turmoil, retreat
And re-emerge

The crystal starts its free fall
Darting down in ominous torments
Forlorn hope of wholeness
Only to be broken into molecules
Shattered by its very nature
Melted into volatility
Still permanent like the sky it came from

The earth trembles me every time,
Fragile, into hiding
This world, broken, new grounds opened
Mountains crumbled, veil torn
Still I am, unstirred
As the dawn dissolves all darkness
Every time heaven opens
I am merged into peace

Morgen is de minste zorg
Zonder waterval aan vragen
Waarom? Wat? *** wil je dat ik dat doe?
Nu
Is altijd meer dan honger,
Gisteren nooit minder dan spijt

Het leven leest voor uit de legende
Maar leeft die niet
Nog steeds roepen de weken om stilstand
De uren om snelheid
De seconden om jou

En dus geef ik mij over
Aan de afkeer, de omkeer, de terugkeer, de wederkeer
Wederom went de nieuwe start
Tot elke gedachte versmelt tot vervreemding
Van voordeur, gewoonte en de geur van dat huis

Waar ooit thuis was is nu een regel,
Een vooroordeel dat schreeuwt 'nooit meer'
Een wereld te leren leidt altijd tot anders
Maar het keerpunt komt,
Onherroepelijk
Zoals geen dag zó steekt dat hij nooit stopt

Zo is morgen de minste zorg
En jij het verschiet dat elk keerpunt doet lonken

By now,
The seasons don't remember
Why now is not the time
For snowfall, in August
But August started it all

By now, all things are expected
But nothing is foreseen
Would I feel more affected
If the sidelines hadn't taken me in?

I hear you like a white noise
I feel you like a flatline
'Why' is a question I'll ask anytime
But 'what' is not worthwhile

Roots tangled firm as an oak tree
Wings like an eagle spread wide
Life never answered in full
Stops
Lost as it was in the extra time

By now the tingles are changing
The summer breeze freezes sensation to stone
Extremities breaking away from the anchor
The long August chill
Is bringing me home

You stretch arguments along the lifelines of my patience
Plant eager excuses on my collarbones of doubt
Feed me watered-down wine of ever-pending promises
That my trust-tangled stomach can never hold down

Your touch singes holes in my dress of protection
Burns through the layers of my shock-salted skin
Your eyes tell a tale of belligerent disarmament
My judgement messed up by your lopsided grin

Your glance of missed chances pierces my instinct
Sees right through the weakness of my fast-fading self
My senses confused by the lure of your fragrance
Susceptible bait for your trickery of scent

My nails scratch your back for a grip of intention
I stitch up your contour, unravelling my own
Tearing up scars that I once thought well-covered
Slowly you’re ******* the marrow from my bones

Smiling you cushion the blows of your winged words
But the humdrum still bruises my lured lazy limbs
Your smoke-flavoured lips taste of death and destruction
But still my parched mouth follows your every whim

Holding on, hands grappling
Wrapping arms around air
Fleeting, leaving
Urges, lurking
Out of reach
Bubble burst
Glass shattered
Chances lost
Among the ashes of
Could-have-been-but-wasn’ts
Last convulsions
Pulsing
Through my fingers
Lingering loud

It hatched, the egg
Last time I was left
With a yokey substance
That only landed me
A hangover worse than
Ever imagined
Last week, though
Oktoberfest
Best idea ever
As the ***** wore off
The notion rose
To a higher plan
Whenever I am drunk again
I should remember
To never
Get out of bed
In the morning

I sit down and smell innocence
Sunday afternoon, playing
Hide-and-seek on bikes,
Climbing over heaps and piles
Of extended-backyard-adventures
My friend looks at me scared
Worried about crashing mid-air
I only think of home
Sticky black poison that
Almost strangled me to death
Once, when life was simpler
Despite all that I smile
At diesel and benzene
Exhaust smog and fumes
Turn blue skies even brighter
High on childhood dreams
If only I inhale, deep enough
A scent that takes me back
Over miles of detachment
And oceans of growing up
A memory fuming of
Family and safety,
Only needing a engine
To move forward in life

Winds march over boulevards
As winding as his wanderings
Leafs leave branches barren
To make the grey skies seen
Clouds cry bitter raindrops
Soaking sour solitude
The puddles promise solace
To drown in to his waist
Torso left to nature’s whims
And storms to wear him out
Car alarms laugh in his face
Howling mockeries his way
Loudly, thunders call him
To give in to the fogs and mist
Life was never as redundant
As in autumn’s heady lists

Coffee meats my weariness in
All-out open battle
Plays at swords with drowsy dreams
Preying on fatigue
Under foamy life traps
Caffeine lurks ahead
Closing in on oblivious bliss
It pulls me back to consciousness
Now my only hope for sleep is
On spiking my cappuccino

His blood ran down the fogged mirror.
Even after the final breath had escaped,
life hung around, wounded but out there,
counting how many heartbeats it takes to forgive.
Hair stuck to faces. His, hers.
Unsaying the words was of no use now.
Vows to save lives they had spoken,
but only one of them had kept that word.
She had known he’d be the one to follow through,
moved as he was by the pain of another,
strong as he was to disregard his own.
His parts would be carved out, divided,
to give another sight in eyes, air in lungs, blood in veins.
He must not have considered
he’d give her heart up for donation too.
That by saving all these strangers,
he’d **** the very person
whose vow was only ever meant
to just keep him alive.
He’d live on in others, mothers, fathers,
who’d pass on the breath he’d so selflessly shared.
She took her hands from the glass,
wiped his blood from her skin,
looked up in the mirror and ****** that final breath of his in.
His organs might be taken to give another hope.
But the air from his lungs was hers to breathe,
his life to live on in her.
Her heart might never again be beating,
and her life might be spent walking among dead.
But at least she’d find him there,
where he’d prepared the way.

Though first, I evolved according to plan
Little enabled me outlive this predator
With few permanent armor plates, strong
Muscles capable of crushing
Anything, bones extremely tough,
These serious injuries go beyond
My cold-bloodedness.
I like my environment, have developed
Behaviors to control it, to save energy
That can be put to other use
An evolved entirety of reason
Is why I can go for over a year
In extreme shutdown
My own tissue will feed
On anything it can overpower
Extraordinarily adaptable
During difficult times,
I will scavenge for everything,
Digest nothing left behind
My social interactions are complicated
I primarily lead a solitary life, don’t recognize
Vocalization, postures, signals, touch
My brain more complex than that of any other
A powerful sense of perception
The ability to learn, to avoid situations
That modify me structurally
Adaptations have allowed me to thrive
But surviving human encroachment
May be my biggest challenge
Through habitat enhancement
I may be able to ensure these
Sophisticated survival skills
For years to come

Nails in pocket
For future fastening
Of repellence on wood
Legs twisted, stiff, that
Forgot how to follow
In any other way than
Swaying in the wind
Hay hair shining in
Sunlight less every time
The dustbowl hits
Rags around lumps,
Stakes, rakes
Make for inadequate
Facade of waking
From afar well placed,
At ease, maybe
Somewhat untidy,
But balanced, stable
At a distance, listening
One might even hear
A raspy voice whispering
Wind to wood,
Promises of movement
Mistake a hollow stare
For vigilance
But with senses obsolete
Inertia well-rewarded
Mere being never sufficed
But for here and now

The fire sparkled a watery light
As the moon soothed time into oblivion
And a faint recollection of yesterday lay dizzy at their feet

Her afterthought was inconclusive
As to whether the cup in her hand
Had elicited an exuberance
Sufficiently encouraging to make her face the dawn

On their playground of broken bottles and burned out branches
The chords of melancholia clung heavy to the night

The sweet sounds of memories they had relived
And strung together into an utterly unruly melody,
Seemed to push the sunrise back
Under the horizon lying looming out of reach

Smoke rising up from the last of their dampened pine branches
Laid a murky gloom over the glaring view of an inescapable morn

The clouds rolling in ****** them back into darkness
Hiding an unwanted future from sight
Allowing an indulging as sweet as the drink
That still lingered on the lips that spoke of never wanting to go back

The rain-burst covered their world with a wafer-thin film of glistening protection
Every thunder bolt momentously holding off dawn

But the fire that had fuelled their careless lazy limbo
Hissed under the abundantly extinguishing streams coming down
The spark that had lasted them all through the night
Melted into a shocking sense of reality
Quenching her parched desire
To dance in the rain
And run towards the sunrise with arms wide open

His touch haunted her,
Guarded as her heart was, she couldn’t afford
To connect,
To attract,
To enter into any state of delicate but zealous longing
Instinctively she knew
Any feeling would be misleading;
Splendid sensual snow melting into liquid lies,
Her heart disarmed, sinking into that gusty sea
Of spoiled desire
A barbarous distance between craven obedience
And the grandiosely brilliant beam she used to embody
An emotional war as tangible as a robust ruin
Worn down by stormy weather, unable to shelter
Her blue-eyed innocence
Recondite or unexpected it never was,
The effect of his shaggy possessive smile
And giddying twisted promises
Drawing out her hurt and suffering,
Disguised as a youthful fluttering
Of nonchalant excitement
A deceitfully draining destruction lurking
In his fondling fingertips,
His smiling dimples,
His laughing wrinkles
Yet thoughtfully she took the plunge
Into a wilderness she couldn’t afford
To miss out on

It's two minutes past the deadline
The coffee he spilled has seeped into the wooden table
As if leaving a masterpiece of stains would somehow make it right
The boom caused by the implosion of his future still echoes in his head
As he lifts himself from the shallow puddle of confidence
That has almost dried up whole
The dirt under his fingernails is a reminder
Of the time he spent trying
To get this tree of missed chances and what-ifs
To grow again
His car keys and his passport he uncovers
From under a pile of broken promises
Maybe he can push back time
Following the sun

Hold your breath, forget
Which bridge to cross is about
What to leave behind

Pitch black storylines
Ink painted former forest
Fire wrote a book here

Rushing over me
A stream of lifted spirits
Upwards waterfall

It's 4 A.M., you're on your afternoon coffee
The fuel you drink as black as my night
Still you'll be sleeping long before I will
When this 4 A.M. will have stolen your daylight

By now your tomorrow has taken my weary
This witch hour feels like eternal remorse
A limbo between our past and my future
This night's silence drowning out yours

Are you counting the hours from you to where I am?
Assuming your waking equals my yawn?
Will dreams come to me with this AM turned PM?
Will you love me again when your dusk meets my dawn?

Away she stepped and looked at the mess
And all this while, time stood still

The words an echo, shattered glass
She walked away, as time stood still

Hours past, in a different world
But where she ran, time stood still

As she stopped and turned around she saw
The sun went down, but time stood still

She gathered every shred of courage
All through the night, as time stood still

As a new day dawned and light crept in
She took one step back as time stood still

She set out on the way back wondering
If life had changed while time stood still

She reached a past in screes and shatters
A broken mirror, as time stood still

Unmendable it seemed to be when
She stepped back in and time stood still

Then morning sun lit up the shards
She sat down, still, and time stepped on

Als een zoeklicht, opgericht
Naar een hemel vol sterren
Kruist ze lichtstralen, verhalen
En schiet verder in de nacht
Voor één moment, onbekend
Voor de lege eenzaamheid
Dan weer eindeloos, zwart

Een knipperlichtrelatie
Met de glinsterende maan
Stralend middelpunt
Van de nacht die zij zelf
Slechts bliksemsnel verlichten mag

Zij, kortstondig als de dag
En voor de maan niet anders
Dan de sterren
Die hij lichtjaren eerder
Al doven zag

De afstand onoverbrugbaar
Tussen haar en het donkerste licht
Vindt ze zichzelf
In het laatste kwartier
Terug aan de kust

De enige plek waar zijn vingers haar beroeren
Waar zijn passie in de golven
Haar op haar knieën dwingt
Waar de zwarte eenzaamheid
Haar niet langer van hem *******br>Daar waar de maan
Het tij steeds weer keert

De zon gaat langzaam onder
En zakt weg in de oceaan
Hier aan de rand van de wereld
Voelt alles zwaarder aan

Of ik nu fluister, bid of schreeuw
Alleen is hier pas echt alleen
De leegte van de horizon,
Slechts de golven om me heen

Ik weet niet waar het water stopt
En waar de lucht begint
De kleuren smelten samen
Mijn blik wazig in de wind

En met de zon daalt het besef
Het leven is als een oceaan
Golven en storm zijn relatief
Als je op het strand blijft staan

Ik weet niet waar het heden stopt
En de toekomst beginnen gaat
Zelfs als alles anders wordt
Is dat vaak te weinig, te laat

Maar als de zon haar licht onttrekt
Aan de branding van mijn bestaan
Verlicht ineens van achter mij
Het schijnsel van de maan

Zo leert een lege horizon dat
De hemel de verste zee verlicht
Zelfs in het donker van de nacht
Biedt U mij helder zicht

The boulevard knows I don’t care
My hair’s messed up sometimes
These cobble stones remind me
That roughness has its charm

I turn a corner, find myself
In a whole new street of dreams
The fountain whispers to the wind
That nothing stays the same

As I wander unknown alleys
Each junction poses questions
Every showcase I walk by
Displays what life could be

Each passerby’s a promise
A sample story to be lived
The hilltop view reveals all
Of the possible paths to take

Strolling squares and avenues
I am searching to get lost
To find what I could never find
Where shortcuts are the norm

The cathedral proves to be the x
On my worn-out treasure map
The stained glass lays a mosaic
Of nuances on my heart

The arches paint perspective
Into my constricted reference
Their majesty lifts up my head
Compels an upward glance

The wideness resonates a truth
That shakes me to my core
The carillon sings an anthem
That accompanies new strides

Snowflakes fall
It doesn’t change
That I feel that all
There’s left is nothing

The whole world seems
At perfect peace
But the light beams
Can’t bring me joy

While once so close
I feel that I
Like a faded rose
Have lost you

That the world tore
You and me apart
Like away from the shore
The ocean pulls the waves

In the rolling of the thunder,
In the clashing of the waves,
In the raging of the storming seas

He whispers.
                              Will you?
He whispers.
                                                       ­     Listen?
He whispers.
                                                       ­                                   And be still?

But shouldn’t there be lightning crashing,
Voices singing, clouds breaking?
Isn’t glory only shown through
Miracles, eclipse?

And I… run,
                              run,
                                             run,
To the rhythm of                               my heartbeat,

Each thud roaring down the whisper
He’s trying to make me hear.

But I… run,
                              run,
                                             run,
To the rhythm of                               my heartbeat,

Which slowly he aligns with...        His.

In between the beats He still
Whispers,
Hardly loud enough to hear;

                             *“Slow down, listen!
                                                         ­         Be still before
                                                          ­                                 Me”

The clouds fall
I rise above them
Emerge from the haze uneasily clear
With heaven still miles and miles above me
But the soothing sedation belittled below
I wish I could
Go back to denial
Head in the clouds, lost in a daze
With a chance of returning back to a purpose,
The possible prospect of being rained down

Ik blijf zitten door kanker
Het anker om mijn enkel wenkt me
Terug
Naar het donker
Kon ik het maar laten
Voor wat het was
Dat het was
Maar het is niet
Afgesloten met genezing
Deze schemering sluimert
Blijft zitten
Met mij

The way you hold me is the thing
That I miss most about you
The way it makes me feel when
You surround me whole
That long before our eyes meet
Your life is just like mine
Woven to be different
So that ours could intertwine
I miss the way you know me
Better than I do myself
I miss the way you look at me
The way I look at you
I long for every moment
You hear me in the silence
I miss the person that you
Help me to become
Yet missing you is not a
Loss like if you would've left
The things I miss are only
Reasons to rejoice

*because what I miss will not be missed again when we'll have met

You left me…
Almost speechless
Like when everything you want to say actually shuts you up
There were flashes of discourses by the greatest men ever
Lyrics to the songs that you never understood
But also there was silence that you would not have respected
Mixed in with a whisper just not loud enough to hear
Ironic how three words, you deemed suited for this moment
Spurred such a stream of simultaneous shush and scream
That gave me both the will to ignore your words forever
As it did the urge to tell you everything to your face

The belief your life is over
With nothing to be done
Its last part in isolation
Waiting
For the pain to become too much
The pain, the pain
Staring at the same walls
Forty-six days in a row
Never knowing whether
Tomorrow you’ll wake up
And if there is, if you’ll survive
A future left in store
Delirium, depression
A hole left in your soul
Then coming out on the other side
Only to realize
Everyone has moved on

Then who are you to utter these three words to my face
Who are you to dictate how my life after that should change
The words you chose so carelessly, I will take to the heart
Just not to leave the past behind but to make a brand new start
I’ll look you in the eye and use your words  against you
When I tell you how I am about to
“Get over it”

Weightlessly
Whole-heartedly
Dripping emotions
Eloquently evoking
Subtly stating art
Gracing gifts


           Beauty
   And            bliss
In                   every
Big breath bringing
Life                       on
The                    floor


Pure                        in
­Passion                   of
Existence expanding
As                  eternity
Is                        lived
Out                     loud


         When the
  Music         swells
And
The                    
   Beat           grows
          Stronger    


The world fades into
The
Movement
That
Seizes
Silently tells a story