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Apr 2014 · 689
Thoughts of you
Ady Apr 2014
I'm going to drown at the profundity of the blades-
silvery and glistening, pale and stale against my skin-
flailing  through discarded, waves of shards of thoughts of you.
I down the beer like the arid earth yearns for the rains,
fast and breathless; a mind parched, a thirst quenched.
Tomorrow will bring the sunshine of another day,
while I am here-in the dark-much intoxicated to fully care.
Still in the past.
Apr 2014 · 554
Shriveled little hearts
Ady Apr 2014
You're not my “something real”,
not my “wish upon a star”.
Even as you lay here with me
my mind complains and my heart
disdains.
You are not my drug nor the White Rabbit
from such tales.
Even now, as your lips touch mine
the breathing of my brains holds static.
You warm hands exploring every inch of
my **** body, however, those tell a different
tale.
Every hot spot on my flesh you slightly caress
makes my nerves erratic.
Beaconing to me with luscious promises
the only way you can stir my breath.
See?
Just a hobby, only a pastime.
All we seek based on carnal sin.
You are not my treasure, nor am I yours-
and yet we choose to linger entangled within
these sheets.
We seek the comfort of compassionate hands,
of accepting lips, God we are insane.
All we come to find between us is but a
way to **** the void of Time in our shriveled
little hearts.
Apr 2014 · 987
Can't live without
Ady Apr 2014
Imagination, it is my greatest weapon.
As well as books, because I can escape
in the pages of another universe if even
for a little while.
I want to know more about everyone out there in this small community.
What can't you live without?
Apr 2014 · 3.1k
Girl interrupted (10w)
Ady Apr 2014
Girl interrupted,
because my values don't consent to your norm.
I'll make another version of this later
Apr 2014 · 1.8k
The Beast within
Ady Apr 2014
The beast within, me, thrashes against its cage,
It is desperate for possession, dominace, and adoration.
It writhes with the madness of jealousy, it wants you.
To make you thoughtless and craving only but my name upon your lips.
Shattered and defenseless; to use my body as your cover and protection.
This selfish desires from the beast within.
It growls and gnawshes its teeth as you talk happily to another
touching them in friendly manner; heed poised to other.
It is irrational and mad; it knows-
Though careless and savage is the beast within us.
It wants to push you against the wall,
bound your hands and hold your mind.
Only this and nothing more.
However, for now and ever, the beast within my barred castle-
silently and wantonly stares at its prey; so close and yet so far away;
as you smiles completely oblivious.
God, ignorance is bliss, it silently thinks;
The beast within.
Jealousy is a terrible thing.
Old thing by the way, just had the courage to post it now hehe
I'm creepy, sorry!
Apr 2014 · 1.5k
How does a poem mean?
Ady Apr 2014
Our choice of poison is devotion,
too much: inebriated.
too little: insufficient.
Our choice of diction, susceptible,
an anomaly: dissected in a lab table.
Poked by: forceps wielded by
gloved hands.
There is no mystery to our misery,
because the venom of our loneliness
is a composition of our aesthetics.
I do love to analyze poems, however I disagree with some that there is one single meaning to a poem.
Apr 2014 · 352
Love is?
Ady Apr 2014
It's like a game of tag,
you haven't been caught
until you've been lightly tapped.
Anything applies I suppose.
Mar 2014 · 1.4k
Stuck here (10w)
Ady Mar 2014
Sometimes, I don't know,
whether I move to or fro.
Whoa, sorry for the overflow it seems this windy and weary weather inspires me.
Mar 2014 · 3.2k
Carton heart of chocolates
Ady Mar 2014
There the irony,hardly lost in me,
as the scarlet wrapping, of a heart,
now vacant of chocolates
lies wasted in the pile of my *******.
I barely found this small, unfinished piece dating back to Valentine's day which I completely forgot to post.
I might finish it later, or leave as it is. We'll see.
Mar 2014 · 1.5k
Drowning, in a sense
Ady Mar 2014
I've drowned before, in a literal sense of the word.
I, fancying myself adept, bored of shallow waters
dived in to the depths.
However, proving my pride quite wrong, the water
submersed me with its innate and temperate nature
to a world void of breath or zephyr.
I flailed my arms, and kicked my feet; but to the
sapphire liquid my efforts came quiet inept.
Understanding my current disposition, I left myself be
enveloped.
My lungs wailed and burned, the irony hardly lost,
and as I sank towards the muted pit of abysmal blue
I construed of Love's similar tactics.
Because now that I am drowning in the loveliness of
your undiluted singularity;
the resonance of sound, when around you, is dulled by
the  euphony of your voice,
my lungs have a lack of oxygen and the tilt of the colors
of the spectrum are vibrant and mesmerizing.
I've drowned before, in a metacognitive sense of the word.
I, more experienced, don't fancy myself a great swimmer,
because in the torrents of your sea, I am but a mariner
lost in the sublime beauty of exquisite waters.
Don't know if I like the title, perhaps I'll change it later?
Mar 2014 · 920
Deluding tempest
Ady Mar 2014
Let's pretend my tears are warm and my frown is a smile,
let's pretend you never left me, even for a while.
Let's close our eyes at the radiance of vacant dreams,
let's say our lids have not opened but waited for a moment.
Let me pretend I've never been hurt, that lies are but a
shade of white;
we are but history hung from another era in a velvet world
where the victor tells the tale.
Let's pretend this song has not being sung and
that the rhythm of my melody hasn't been plagiarized by
the impostor with a pen and paper.
Let's pretend we are one, under the billow of a mind,
that the sky is the blanket of our sleep and doesn't harbor
but our bodies in the shores of the night tide.
So intoxicated in this lonely night
Mar 2014 · 623
Maudlin sip
Ady Mar 2014
On these lonely nights of fruitless sleep,
where my insomnia kicks in and worries slither from the
depths of my pillows,
I empty the bottle of cold, and effervescent oblivion.
I drown in the seas of sensations, vivid, stark and stale
as the tickling and the watering flush down my clogged throat;
flushing secrets I had not dared to voice.
I dwell on my heavy eyelids, waiting for the curtains
to drape over the ghastly blares of reality.
The world is muted, my ears are deaf to words not spoken
and laments suffocated to the howling airs of my torment.
I wait for the storm to cease, for the gears to run but my
weary mind is dulled and perplexed to horrors of past mistakes.
So, skittish and condemned, my heart disdains;
committing the same scenes, reliving atrocious crimes.
Sorry, but not.
Mar 2014 · 613
The type of girl
Ady Mar 2014
I'll be the girl with the tight, black dress;
the girl in the scarlet lipstick and smudged eyeliner,
the girl with fluttery lashes, standing at the corner.
I'll be at the back of the crowd, as couples dance
and sweet nothings are whispered from the speakers.
I'll stand in solitude, accompanied by misery
and loving every minute of it, as lights flicker;
a kaleidoscope of galaxies from effects of lighting.
I'll be the girl without a care for a partner,
hiding behind a mask of shadows.
I'll be the one who leaves early for another party,
dance with strangers in the eve of night;
a butterfly from flower to flower, as you go to bed
with hunger.
I'll be the first to see the dawn and the last to wake
from slumber, not quite sober.
I'll be the girl with the sour aftertaste in her mouth,
the one with the sly smile and yet another crime.
Prom is coming up and I, well, am the type of girl who loves to isolate herself. Like, is that just me?
Haha, I'm going to be that creepy cat lady!
Mar 2014 · 3.0k
Misconceived reality
Ady Mar 2014
She hopes, silently, that he will chase her,
catch her in his embrace and smother her
with feverish kisses.
He wants to glance back, towards the stinging
sun, towards the opposite direction she has stayed in
and beacon her with words of licorice.
She wishes to let her voice drown the antagonistic
opposition to their current disposition and listen
attentively to reciprocated admissions.
But they cannot, will not, because
this is not a fairy tale, this is not a fantasy, this
is the sad reality of both decisions.
And so torn apart between letting go or
catching to,
they walk away towards opposite directions.
Mar 2014 · 2.8k
Must be magic
Ady Mar 2014
You're a wizard, I should know.
Capture my thoughts with memory spells,
Enrapture my eyes with the charms of yours, and
quicken my beats with a grin of your lips.
Gravity ceases with a snap of your fingers.
Yes, you're a wizard, I whisper,
because no muggle could possess the magic
hold you mantain in my self.
Mar 2014 · 838
To be loved by a poet
Ady Mar 2014
It is a priviledge to be loved by a poet,
to be embraced by the meter and the rhyme
and caressed by soft metaphors and sharp alliterations.
To be painted a universe with words and run-on sentences
that converge in a single thought expressed with
similes and repetitions of a single symbol.
It is an honor to be loved by a poet,
to be celebrated with odes, mourned with elegys
and elevated to a pedestal by a canticle.
It is a marvel to be loved by a poet,
to be the muse of long, weary nights of concentration
and be part of passionate lines in dramatic monologues
as each is recited with the intonation of rising ardour.
To be submerged in sizzling appreciation of one's quirks
and virtue.
To be loved and to love.
To provoke an inspiration and a sigh of ephemeral longing
and bring about a remedy to the mourning.
It is a misery and joy to be loved and be of unrequited
provocative inspiration to the riveting mind of a lone
and solitary poet.
So, who or what is your inspiration?
Mar 2014 · 500
Synonyms of bad lovers
Ady Mar 2014
They tell me I am a passing fancy,
that kissing the vapor of my skin is
like the ***** of sacred chambers.
They tell me I am cancer of the skin,
that my cells divide, unstoppable,
ignite the flesh at a lethal price of taste.
They whisper in my ear, sorrowful
pleas and sinful lullabies of promise;
and when tears slither acidic and sear
rosy imprints of a trail in the apples of
their cheeks,
they'll snivel and sniffle:
“But by God, I loved you.”
Despite the surly mood they often displayed,
like the tongue of silver from a metallic
taste of venom on the planes of my skin.
So, I told them I tire of synonyms of a same
word;
that loving a different person of different flesh
remains the same as long as character does not
fluctuate.
Mar 2014 · 424
Not to be
Ady Mar 2014
The careless sentiment of nothing has clogged
the freeway of my neurons,
The descend to numb approaches stealthily
through pores of my flushed skin,
fraughts my lungs, asphyxiating me.
A blanket of solitude thrown by Darkness and
the hope of positive becomes a negative.
The static monitor of heart beats, beats, beats
without a sound of scintillating effervescence.
Concepts of lunacy and discomfort emerge
on the screen of my closed lids, scenes;
Of various sanctuaries and fiends.
It haunts, possesses, me, can't they let me (not) be?
Paralyzed by lethargy,
my body corrodes on the soft boneless bed of
nullity.
Not one will know,
in a few years everyone will forget; that
Once upon a times, I was.
Old poem
Ady Mar 2014
Your body is a canvas,
but the tongue of a blade should never be your brush,
blood should never be your palette
and bitter tears should never sting your skin.
Your body is a canvas,
touched by the brush of a petal,
painted by the tints of rosy joy and yellow sun,
your eyes should reflect the starry night
and the silver of a moonlit sky.
Your body is an altar,
it should never be desecrated by skeptics,
it should never be sculpted with bruises
and stained by the possession of manipulating demons.
Your body is an altar,
celebrated by passion fueled prayers,
adorned with ornaments of kisses,
and cleansed by candid disciples.
You are priceless and worth every struggle,
so don't let anyone deceive you in an opinion
based solely on their contorted perception
of untruthful quantification of our current
media,
because you are a sculpture in the Louvre
and a masterpiece is not worth the touch
of a violator.
Mar 2014 · 442
A performance on the stage
Ady Mar 2014
I lost myself for a second,
for a fractal of a moment
as I stared wide eyed,
gooey and awed at the
artists on the altar of performance.
My perception crystallized,
specters of my past self
salivating at what my fingers
longed for;
spoken word and snapping fingers.
At the connection of my life to theirs,
at the links of my past mistakes
to the handcuffs of the present of exoneration,
at written art and verbalized
conceptual imagination
from the depths of my mind to the
comfort  of our living room of breathing
similes and metaphors,
of alliteration and repetition that emphasize
the triggering bombs louder than our thumps
will ever get to.
I lost my self for a second,
to the rhythm and the rhyme,
the o's and ah's,
to life being lived and poets allowed to
contribute a piece of their mind,
of their soul, of their being.
And I snapped and I cried,
my heart united between the struggles
and the laughter,
between love and the embers of futile
hatred.
Because, in the spark of a moment,
in the association of embracing lyrical
enunciations,
we became one of beeping heart
and symphonic sighs,
And we,
we lost ourselves on the moment
of great performance.
Had the honor of watching great poets today perform their poems and my God, this is why I love poetry. Brings us together as a family.
Ady Mar 2014
I take my time,
wishing upon dead stars
and hope one is alive.
I pick wasted grains of
sand,
hoping to regain some time.
But they slip through cracks
of my feeble fingers and
submerge once more to
the pit of stormy oceans.
Where have the stars gone?
When has the ticking ceased?
I gather the fallen stars
and place them in my jar.
Trapped fireflies within
my crystal casket.
I pick daisies and dismember
petals seeking for an affirmation.
But buds run out and I am
frazzled.
If only certainty came with a
warranty,
perhaps then I could end
the utilization of interrogation.
I take my chances,
believing lies and hoping
one is right.
But perception is twisted
in sinewy limbs of contorted
sweetness,
and faith refuses any logical
examination.
So, I accept what may come
as an accusation and pray
for rehabilitation.
Time and opportunities I wasted and wish I hadn't.
Mar 2014 · 259
Wrong again (10w)
Ady Mar 2014
For once,
I thought,
"I hope you are the one."
Because once you step back and stare from a different perspective things are not as great as they seemed.
Mar 2014 · 448
Don't conform be your own
Ady Mar 2014
I skim through beauties on a page,
things I wish and will never be.
I starve to fit the media's measure;
a finger down a throat,
beauty slipping from cracked lips.
I sew my mouth shut to the combustion
of words that consume, that speak of the
truth
only to keep the fallacy of what is deemed as
honesty.
I glance at the distorted mirror of what is
perceived as I
and wish, hope and pray that somehow
I was a child again.
A child, yes, a child.
Innocent and blind to the world of mass production,
of copies of a clone
of beauty in a syringe
of love expressed in a text
of segregated batches
of disintegrated aspirations.
I am vexed and complex and I
wish that you would stop looking at the depiction
that my skin might pose
and start analyzing my prose.
Because behind the metaphors of what you suppose
that I expose is the real voice.
And so for the sake of these words that need
articulation,
I'll wear this mask nevermore,
I'll break the glass and although I might
wound myself on the shards of derogatory apprehension
I won't subject to your humiliation.
Because I will not stand to simply capitulate much longer
for you to continue with the scaling of what you
reckon I am worth.
Know that I am unquantifiable, I am priceless
and you can't afford what I have lost.
Yes, I do not fit in the scale of your measure.
Beauty is not about comparison and resentment
but appreciation of the variations.
I am not a number
and I am certainly not another puppet.
And I will stand for this no longer.
Ady Feb 2014
She'll leave me,
I know.
Say "sorry" and
"so long".
Because that's what people do.
Feb 2014 · 220
Liberated(10w)
Ady Feb 2014
Words                   are
              birds
    

           In the                  free lines
                      of the
                                                              sky.
Just trying something new. I hope you guys can read it! Sorry if you can't D:
Feb 2014 · 375
Carry on(10w)
Ady Feb 2014
Road
so long,
feet are bruised;
my journey carries on.
First 10w poem and I've got to say chanlleging and simply liberating. I love it.
Feb 2014 · 318
If I should die
Ady Feb 2014
Lately I've been wondering about my death,
about how I'd like for the music to cease,
the lights to go off,
the colors to fade,
about how I'd like for the world to end.
I'd like for my demise to be poetic
most like everything and anything I do.
Although I know death by one's own hand
is deeply frowned upon, I don't care.
If I should die I'd like to pull the cord
with these very hands that brought misery and joy.
If I should jump,
I'd liked for these feet to walk me to the edge of the ledge.
If I should close my eyes and abandon my dreams to
the void of darkness,
I'd like to be the one who mutters, “Goodnight.”
For this is my life and to think that anyone else
has a say in what I judge wrong from right
is simply and utterly absurd.
Lately, I find myself entranced by the beaconing
of dark lighthouses.
By the tempest in the sea and the clashing of night
as it unfurls like sensuous smoke upon the shores
of my turbulent conscious.
If I should die,
I'd like to go with a spark and a thunder
as I melt into the world of limbo.
One more rebellious act to let anyone who dare object
that this life is mine and mine alone,
and I decide when I should end.
Don't know if I like the ending of this, ha ironic.
Feb 2014 · 278
Words without voices
Ady Feb 2014
She sheds her tears up on the stage,
with words unspoken among the space.
Her lips are crimson red,
her hands tremble, not in fear but in rage
as regret lingers among the air.
A fiend of hell howls its disdain
near her ear roaring each complain,
as words are clogged behind ruby lips.
If her words be weather well they'd be a tempest,
tearing roots and breaking havoc.
If words be gentle well hers would remedy
the hearts of the forsaken.
But now they rest in their lined casket
for a voice that shall bring them forth
in to the realm of enunciation.
I might edit this later on, might.
Feb 2014 · 343
Love knows no reason
Ady Feb 2014
She told me once her heart belonged to me,
and I ever the devoted servant
preserved such trust within
the grasp of my embrace.
She told me many times her love was mine to keep,
and I ever the naive imbecile
took her words as gospel
between the phrases of my prayers.
And know there is no single question
but her words from the past
as she reassures me with a devious smile
the proprietary rights of land to her
pulsing heart.
A surging wave of loathing courses through
the cadence in the back of my mind
when finally I can see within to reason.
A ticking begins to echo.
A heart is a strange thing, I think,
as I cradle the pulsing vessel.
It twitches, trembles and pumps
for the last time in the nest of my palms
and silently the heart that use to beat for me
throbs nevermore.
She was leaving me for another and I
with the prerogative of her permission,
simply took what was mine.
Hands stained with the fading passion of your love,
it shall thud nevermore.
I have been recently obsessed with Gothic literature and decided to submerge my poetry in the dark waters of this amazing genre! I apologize for the creepiness and perharps terrible attempt.
Feb 2014 · 426
A macabre piece of us
Ady Feb 2014
I've allowed you to mark down words,
to map them and write them on a blank canvas;
using caresses and kisses,
fleeting glances and feathery sighs.
I've allowed your colors to blend with mine,
to become a compound from halves to wholes;
using but fragments of our selves.
And yet we've turned each other to blotches of
convoluted ink,
turned to muddled puddles of dark and listless,
gone from Frankenstein to sinister Monsters.
Stitched up with cavalier precision and
become conjoined and grotesque figurines on
freak shows.
We've become but mutated aberrations on the face
of what is beautiful and real.
With a sincerity of gnashing teeth and vicious claws
to lies which manufacture passion and drying tears.
Oh, tell me, Love, where have we gone wrong?
From murmured lullabies of tender, doting songs
to cacophonous symphonies of vociferous disagreements.
When venom hath corroded the flower of devotion
and buried black the wilted products of affection.
Tell me, oh Love, where have we gone wrong?
Feb 2014 · 580
Farewell of sorts
Ady Feb 2014
Farewell to the pollen in the flowers;
for a taste of honey
by the price of stinging wonders.
Farewell to all the starry feys;
for a lack of colors
by our obscure sorrows.
Farewell to crimson sunsents;
for the cracks of dawn
by the longing of a yawn.
Farewell to my lover's arms;
for the desecretion of our Time
by the ignorance of mine.
And, as a final note of departure-
farewell doubtful companion;
by scars of winters past
for bliss of evenings in summer times.
Ady Feb 2014
Sweet crumbling words construct my madness.
Life renewed from within the embers in the ashes,
and on the boundaries of the remaining darkness
monsters plunged in to the depths.
Hope whispered murky clear, clustering the facts.
Reality blurred from steam of visions,
long dead stars clouded in the skies.
And as I burrowed in my crystal castle,
a breeze whispered of hidden passions;
it crawled, stealthily, to my covered ears
quietly, faintly, slitheringly.
A serpent in the kingdom of the chaste
A flame in the frailty of ice.
A truth that shattered all frontiers and my words
the sensibility of ours.
Feb 2014 · 463
A prayer for the moonstruck
Ady Feb 2014
Deter my mind of thoughts of you,
expedite the process of reproaching;
before sick in love my sacrifice I promise.
Tell the chilly incessant buds of hate-
to blossom in the land of crimson.
Beg the merciless Son of Venus;
to withdraw his embedded arrow.
Deter my eyes from the sights of you,
truncate the weeds in the walls of my garden;
before all is covered in the ivy caresses of your burden.
Tell the sun to draw its blinds-
to darken the places in which you shine.
Beg the doctor for a poison;
to desecrate the altar in which I find you.
Oh, for me, I pray
Do not stray to the impious mischief that can be-
your compelling ushering of passion.
Feb 2014 · 490
A World and Space apart
Ady Feb 2014
There is a universe somewhere in the paradigms of space,
out of sight, out of reach and yet it somehow exists.
A reality in which I find you;
time and time again.
A world in which like the elements that compound air and-
aid breath cannot exist without the other.
A world in which the unstoppable force of my attraction
towards the magnet pull of your immovable force coexist.
A paradox, and infinitesimal chance of being.
It leaves,a failed, Newton flummoxed and disgruntled.
Together, or not at all- we promise
in this absurd and meticulous fabric of reality.
A surrealist version of the real in which dreams are crafted,
nightly for the pleasure of those who have failed to envision more.
There are leaps that do not abide to the principles of gravity;
In which rotational asymmetry between space and time creates-
a thousand scenarios unfolding like the fluttery span of butterfly dreams.
There is a world for lovers out there.
As a play nears its end and the curtain descends,
another stage unfurls behind the fragility of red carpet satin.
A dream in which I relive and relish on you.
There is a universe at the end of space and time,
where gravity is inconsistent,
where dreams are real and the tears are crystal.
A world and a space apart-
in which I once again hold you tightly against my side.
There is, undoubtedly, this universe in which no analgesic can placate-
the vacancy of You and I.
Feeling melancholic
Jan 2014 · 2.0k
Homesick
Ady Jan 2014
There is a dull ache in the pit of my bossom-
maddening and riveting as the alcohol scalds
my tongue, my throat and settles in my stomach.
Far away,
In the different weather and scent of-
streets, alleways and my bed not quite the same.
Long way from home,
Amidst a place not quite my taste-
missing and kissing in the the corner streets.
Epiphany as the place; that is not quite the same,
reminds me that it is not the missing piece;
Rather, that I am the lonesome traveller.
A stranger, a moribund
In this far away land of sorrow and of memory.
Long way, homesick in the vast expanse of-
memory lane;
A place not quite the same as the one left behind.
Travelled for winter vacation to the place I spent most of my childhood. No longer home, I don't belong there anymore.
Jan 2014 · 388
Follow me down
Ady Jan 2014
Follow me down and I'll promise you now
that whenever and wherever, together we'll be.
Follow my lead and grateful I'll be
of this piece of us, of you and I.
Let's make a bed out in the ocean,
Let's give kisses out in the rain,
Let's roar like thunder and whisper like lightning-
Promises, promises of together forever.
Follow me down to a city of gold,
where the sun's always bright-
and dreams last;
Come along, my love, to a summer land of us.
Like a mug of hot chocolate for this cold winter. A piece I wrote thinking of that special someone.
Dec 2013 · 407
Most like a dog
Ady Dec 2013
I take whatever scraps of affection she throws my way,
most like a dog
Licking greedily at their passing flavour.
I wait patiently the return of my owner,
most like a dog
With the misconception of being loved.
I wave my tail to and fro, high and low,
most like a dog
A greeting or a beating, anything is welcomed.
Wherever she goes, I follow, ever the loyal companion;
it makes sense, I rationalize;
Trough thin and thick, through dim and lit-
right along her side, most like the dog.
Dec 2013 · 776
The insanity in loving you
Ady Dec 2013
I give to you my heart,
a piece, if you will;
A piece 'till your lips say-
I accept the burden of this life.
I give to you my core,
essence and body of this soul;
Keep them close or throw them off.
It hardly matters, they're all yours.
I give to you my Love;
ever dreading for the simple no.
Darling, I'll take whatever you'll give,
Misery or joy-
My heart is yours to toy.
Dec 2013 · 598
Shriveled little Dream
Ady Dec 2013
And the tears are shining light,
while sun is high and bright
but I can't help and wonder;
when love had turned to blunder.
And as the moon is close and cold,
the dreams begin to shrivel;
they scurry to the pillow
as a worm does in a meadow.
And the tears are gone and past,
though the pain remains at last;
in the corner of my mind
a misery well defined.
But, what of the words of pride-
You spoke of me so many times?
Buried with the worm
my little dreams are gone.
what a day
Dec 2013 · 979
A summer heartache
Ady Dec 2013
There is a freedom in delusion,
It is artificially flavoured and cheap-
for anyone desperate enough to buy it.
Like this, there are many more copies of the originals.
It is the promise of Love,
The dissapointment of failure,
and the bitter taste of regret.
Yes, there is a blind happiness in the act of faith;
believing in the shadows reflected on the walls of the cave.
A hard truth to accept- the lies you tell to yourself
as you go to bed and succumb to wishful dreams.
Another day wasted-another mind twisted.
The vitality of grass and the prattle of the birds ceases
love fades away, as does the vigor of the summer.
Words once fluent, now cease to forced murmurs of dispassion.
There goes the first leaf of autumn-
in the cold harshness of the creeping wind.
There is honesty and pain in recognition,
Deceit and grief at the eyes of imitation.
Yes, there is a temporal taste of forged happiness;
A comfort in the fabric of deception.
Wrote it back in summer for a friend.
Dec 2013 · 391
Once again, We're done.
Ady Dec 2013
At the end, it is all the same.
The "we" and the us;
Transformed to fleeting ghosts.
Dec 2013 · 600
Out the dark into the Night
Ady Dec 2013
Once again the inanimate thread of darkness envelopes me,
Brittle and weak, my limbs collapse as I try to run towards the light.
Enthralled by my distorted mind, I descend.
Down and down I fall, like the Alice from a Lunatic Wonderland.
Keen words wound my heart, condemed to live it all.
Solemnly and idly, I stare at the carnage of my wars,
How can no one see me yet?
Through the despair, I remain, seeking for the guidance of the faintest light.
Happiness in fleeting, seeping through my hands; a liquid mess.
My knees are raw, wounded, from the running and the falling.
Yet I choose to stand and walk this lonely path.
With ragged clothes, stinging feet, and blind eyes, I get up,
Feeling my way through this paradox of a maze,
Hoping to finally find my place.
A continuation of "Out of the Abyss"
Nov 2013 · 347
Silent Night
Ady Nov 2013
Silent night, what a lie.
All I hear are the cries.
Oh silent night, make me deaf,
So that I may understand in depth,
what becomes of a lonely wreck.
Silent night, what a pain.
All I get is a chain.
Oh virtuous dove, turn away,
nevermore will I be the same.
Silent night, lonely day.
Nov 2013 · 465
The mechanism of Life
Ady Nov 2013
Some days I sit at the train station and pretend I am someone else. Everything is dully colored by the graying sky yet vibrantly staying vivid before my eyes. The passing trains transporting passengers, day to day, in the core of its system. A monster, a saviour, nothing, whichever you choose it to be. That is it. Its metallic surfaces colliding with the brutal rails, whinning and cringing its fixed despair. It is a beautiful day, you know? A day just the same as yesterday yet more aflame from the one before. Just like any other day. People going by and never coming back. There is not a minute in the world that is the same, each second more important than the last. Humanity, however, has neglected and forgotten the simplest joys of living, the tend to go by simply existing; thriving. Who cares? Nothing changes, things always in the same static time line of life.
It is december, a personal favourite, yet people mechanically function to the rhythm of ballads from the clock; tick tock, it goes. Entranced, subjected, loosing the spark of life. And now a second is a whisper, a minute but a yawn, and days, months and years the buzzing of a smart phone.
What really matters anymore?
The terrible train buzzing and rumbling the earth with its tremors; going on a fixed position. It is a carrier, another synthetic creation of the human "power". Now, we [consider ourselves] are nothing. Outsiders to our homes. My perception of the world affected by this so-called "evolutionary era".
Of what?
Well, social divergency, the rusting metal and the beeping notices on lighted screens. Apathetic and analytic.
Creating more problems and solving but one.
Just a narrative from awhile ago.
Excuse the grammar.
Oct 2013 · 1.4k
Once again, From the start
Ady Oct 2013
There was nothing in this vast landscape of delusions, only illusions.
A flower, a friend, a gift, a betrayal, a tear, a shattered mirror and perdition.
The music of the euphoric nothingness enticing the darkness,
calling for the shadows, everlasting, never ending.
I know, I deserve this. Always threw the stone and looked the other way,
the sin, the penitence, the lament, the void, the shallowness, the meaningless.
Living each day a moribund marionette moving through the crowd an empty mess.
The ticking, the hunger, the instrument, the mending of the ending,
but then came you. An unexpected gaze wondering through my maze.
Navigating each passage as if though you knew the way, a hindrance.
Let me corrode here please, go away, I thought. I never said it.
You remained here almost an embodiment of the hope I sought for so long,
Perhaps this is another of my creations, a desire from the dire.
Your hands are tepid, driving the frigidness away, maybe it's real?
An hour, a day, a week, a period of time slowly passes.
You are hope, my hope, my desire, my wish, my light and gentle day.
I found the impatient clock fast-forwarding each hour until the time had come,
to see one another.
Your world was intriguing and vivid everyday was fun, every night a pain.
Without a warning you brought the richness of the paint in to the callousness of mine.
The sky once again blue, the birds with songs, the grass now green my world anew.
Mere words such as “i love you” can't paint paint the picture, for it was more.
And yet here I am again. Alone.
Alive, not dead, back on the path to my journey.
Collecting, standing, walking and eventually running through the paradox.
Anew, exhumed, hope plastered once again against my chest,
and as I cry, tumble, fall and learn;
Each days is new, each meeting a joy and each moment thanking you.
Good-bye! I bid farewell to you, let our past be remembered beautifully,
and the present lived and the future build, as once again;
I construct, destroy, collapse, laugh and dream.  
As today the ticking resumes and I commence from where I stopped.
May 2013 · 1.4k
Toxic Imagery
Ady May 2013
The vile of acid touches his tongue,

It is bitter, burning and horribly wrong.

Lost or found, anything goes.

His slipping mind and this aching crime.

Everything ruptures corrupted by life,

even white in the black shallow mime.

Stupid, dumb-****. Why can't he talk?

The shadows dance on the dark,

alluring and cunning giving a spark.

Observe the scorching rays of light!

Neon and blinking on this gruesome night.

The spinning, spiralling world, and this opening void,

Every thing confusing this young, troubled boy.

Look at him! Look at him dance,

to the tune of an aphonic trance.

Blurred reflections on condensed mirrors,

terrible headaches, and vicious tempers,

Everything shifting on such hazy conditions but,

Will he dance and regret again?

This grotesque and stupid addictions.
May 2013 · 739
Out of the Abyss
Ady May 2013
Look at me, what a waste.
Torn apart and made a mess.
Look back, who is that?
Not me that's the past.
Watch me now, who am I?
Dangling of the cliff, ready to fall and sink.
Extend your hand, I'm in pain.
Tried so hard just in vain.
Made your prey, carve your name.
Let it scar and throb in pain.
Seal the pact in the night, let the shadow override.
Turn the filth into pure,
Let the day sink to night,
Covert pure white, to crimson red,
Let the pleasure be my pain.
You, tempter, become my knight,
Never lose and always fight.
Exchange my wings for your vow,
Brand your name unto my skin,
Watch it burn and fade to pink.
Personal martyr grant my wish,
Let me float before I sink.
May 2013 · 461
If
Ady May 2013
If
When, if, you love me,
Don't tell me it is with your "whole" heart,
For your heart is but a mere ***** that will someday rot and decay.
Words will not be understood if all you do is talk.
Caress me, cherish me;
For a day, which will come unnoticed,
I will no longer be standing at your side.
So, how do we love if our hearts are flesh?
Where does it hurt when words are sharp and the distance long?
Not the heart but somewhere in our "heart".
When, if, you leave me, be sure to make a scar;
So we won't forget the passion and horror of this, our, love.
May 2013 · 703
The last Resort
Ady May 2013
Everything shatters to the floor,
the clock stops its silent clicking.
Nothing seems to have changed,
yet all has rearranged.
As my life crumbles to pieces,
the choices become scarce.
This demention, this futility of the sort,
asphixiates me, scrapes agaisnt my throat.
Escape, I need to seek one;
an easy "out of here" from this cage.
Take one pill, another one shortly follows;
The alcohol flushes it down,
And, just to make sure,
Grab the friendly blade of the knife and
pierce the snakes running down my arm.
Now, now I am free.
Free forever from the torment of this miserable life.
Nothing chains me down,
my wings are free from harm.
I don't leave this place because I want to die;
I leave because I don't want to live in this purgatory.
Pity those who stay behind,
destroying each other bit by bit.
Far worst from what I have just done.
May 2013 · 562
What I truly want?
Ady May 2013
This desire to posses you is quite unbearable, it gnaws at my insides and scorches my flesh. This feverish love, I feel, growing more aflame. I want to entangle in a sweet and slow tango of rapid heartbeats and breathless sighs of love. Not only desire your body but also the beauty of owning your abstract heart. I want you to need me in all possible ways; to have the need to want the comfort and warmth of my small frame. To cup my face in the depth of your protective hands and to treat me as if I might break. Not only fragile but rough, crush me with the affection and passion of your bold embrace. I want to bite and kiss your lucious lips until I can satiate this dominating thirst to have you. So stay with me, stay until you need me, stay until you tire of me for I'll never will get enough of you.
I need you for as long as I live, and want you for as long as I can't hold on anymore.
All I truly want is to love and be loved by no other than you.
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