I'll rather be alone again
I know what they say 'bout loneliness
But I'll take the chance

I'll rather die alone again
Stick n' Stones break my words
But your actions left me hopeless

I'll rather walk this road again
Uncertainties leave me restless
I'll want to know what's up ahead

My heart burns and aches like fire
Ashes are just bones on the pyre
Liar, that's what I call you a liar

You better heed my advice
Your life will ignite with my lighter
Liar, that's what you deserve you liar

I'll rather get revenge 'my friend'
Prove to you once again, I'm not worthless
I'll rather watch you burn up in flames


© Sofia Villagrana 2022

Hey, it's been a long *** day
Wondering if you're okay
Feeling fuzzy in my brain

Hey, I know I said some things
That made you wanna walk away
Pick up, I got a lot to say


© Sofia Villagrana 2022

Whisper words to household saints
Hands pressed, lips closed
We couldn't share them
The words that we couldn't say

Hiding in corners, shadows evade
Sitting on the shelf praying today
Tear and break them
The words that we couldn't say

Games played, in the darkness
Fools we both were that day
Confess it's too late
The words that we couldn't say

Mistakes littering the tile floor
Glittering shards that impale us
Time to end this
The words I just have said



© Sofia Villagrana 2022

My dog just passed away, unexpectedly
In the middle of a hot summer night
It was lying on its side, right next to me

I carry their body, inside my arms
As I look for a big old apple tree
So it can eat apples in heaven

I have all their blankets and toys with me
So that they do not get bored as they
Travel towards the shining bright stars

I still remember their white ears
As I scratched their head as we played
As such memories . . .

To late to give one final walk 'round the block

Such a beautiful morning, with birds singing
As I carry my friend in my arms
I wonder if they're singing them goodbye

Cars are driving by, as I cross the street
Is the black and red blob I see a dead cat?
I wish I had more arms to bring them along

Remember when I first brought you home
You hide underneath my bed
As such memories . . .

And when I gave you your first biscuit
You ran around in circles at my feet
Such a sight . . .

The sun shines brighter as you get heavier in my arms

We reach the cemetery, and right at the entrance
There's a big old red apple tree
I lay them on the floor as I dig

The pile of dirt keeps growing, as I am sweating
I want to make sure you don't dig yourself out
You loved to dig in my garden

When the hole is big and deep enough
I lay your body inside
With all of your belongings

I mark your grave, with your collar and leash
So I can visit when I leave school
I don't want to forget your name

I still feel you on the right side of my bed as I sleep



© Sofia Villagrana 2022

Eyes ahead
Foward and dead
I am unsure of the path I am taking

Hands up high
Reaching towards the sky
Fingertips brushing the morning light

Frizzy hair
Dew on the edges
Blocking my perception of the world

***** feet
From walking on the street
Guided by the cement sidewalk cracks

Mouth agape
Words suffocate
Uneasiness building inside my chest

Fly away
Run before its too late
Better to be hurt than to be caged



© Sofia Villagrana 2021

I whisper words to you at night
Telling you, I know your white lies
I wonder if I am going to cry
Seeing you on the floor unalive



© Sofia Villagrana 2021

I walk down this unknown road
But I am not afraid
Of the dark or silence that follows
So I keep walking forward
Arms swinging by my side.

With my head turned
Turned up towards the sky
As I welcome the sun's rays
And the rain that falls
Bathing me in its life.

I've traveled far and wide
But never by myself
This is a new experience
It's a little bit scary and new
But I am not afraid.

The stars twinkle brightly
I remember your eyes
Reflecting back on the memories
Happiness and sadness
I'll hold them in my heart.

Whistling the songs
That you sang during dawn
As we eat breakfast and laughed
Such vivid noises and sights
That I will dream as I travel.

I know this may seem unexpected
But I need to leave the past
So don't be afraid
This is not a goodbye forever
I promise I'll see you later.



© Sofia Villagrana 2021

The misery
Ridding up my skin like a disease
The sympathy
Screeching up my ears, till I can't hear
The enemies
Following me but I can't seem to see

My energy
Displaced and diverted for survival
My happiness
Nonexistent since your appearance
My appearance
Don't matter cause I am the baddest batter

I swear
I'll never  be an angel or a saint
I promise
That you will forever rue this day
I expect
Everyone I see to be my enemy



© Sofia Villagrana 2021

There is an ache in my heart.
I wish I could go back in time.

Inverse of colors that remain the same.
Yet the sky still remains in hues of greys.

Do I continue or stop myself?
My soul is indecisive after all.

Not sure if this is right or if it's wrong?
But why do I care if I live or die
Without my soul!

This is the secret of my life
To decide if I can choose
To live or die.

All of these pieces of colors
Intertwine and intermingle
Warp into something more.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

I like to read love and fiction
To escape my own restrictions
I don't know if I can sound out
All of the screaming and crying

Close the door but do not lock it
If they find out they might lose it
Yell at you and grab you tightly
Better to pretend that you are numb

Play the music quite and softly
They won't hear when I pause it
Wanting for that single moment
When they say its time to end it



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Hanging 'round your place
Days keep passing.
Sitting here for weeks
But don't worry.

Wanted some closure
Where are you going?

Hope you'll come back
Yearning for you.
Please, just stop and listen
Before the sun sets.

Needed some closure
Where are you going?

Can't you see I'm hurting
Just make me happy.
You don't care about me
Waiting here for you.

Give me some closure
Where are you going?



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Heartbeats that sing
Songs of admiration
Eyes that wander
Up and down your face

For once I wish
This wasn't a mistake

I take a breath of air
Let it exhale outwards
My hands begin to shake
Twisting my hair into knots

I want to say words
But they do not escape

Palms are sweating
As I recount
The many things
That I love about you.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Faded like a photograph
Don't want you looking at me.

I don't want to die young
Ignore my pleading
Repeat it enough times
Maybe death will pass me.

Stretched thin like nylon
Something that you see as pretty.

No blanket of security
A fog that fills my vision.
Disappear into obscurity
Waiting for recognition.

Rubbed raw by a cat's claw
Watch me as I keep bleeding.

Want someone to rely on
But you keep on evading.
Stare at me, but looked beyond
Feel myself degrading.

Pulled apart like red yarn
Fragments of me missing.

Reached out to caress you
But saw your body was gone,
Tired of this pursuit
Decided to withdraw.

Feelings like a jigsaw
Don't know if I can keep going.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Words are eluding me
I can't help but whimper.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Want to rely on
Someone I like
To lean on

A tidal wave of emotions
Coming over me
Feeling like a deportee

The situation
I found myself in
Lost and dehydrated

I'm the unwilling victim
You act so cool with me
Then change your words

Don't want to break
Your trust in me
But you made me

You showed me
Your not someone
To rely on



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

I don't want to die young
Disappear into obscurity.

Stretched thin like nylon
Something that you see as pretty.

Rubbed raw by a cat's claw
Watch me as I keep bleeding.

Feelings like a jigsaw
Don't know if I can keep going.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Take me to the
Back row
Back room
Back door

Touch me
Where I said no
Pretend and act
Like you don't know

That these
Tears
Aches
Cries
Are from you



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Words
Murmurings
Whispers
Sounds too soft
For me to truly capture.

Caresses
On my face
Against my hands
On my hip
Guiding me towards the truth.

Grasp my head
Force me to listen
Force me to watch
Force me to comprehend
The secrets you possess.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Bubbles are forming
As my breath leaves me,
Ripples on the Surface
As I go underneath.

Deep in the Sea

The sand glitters
Pears glistening
Hidden wonders sparkle
Running through my hands.

Deep in the Sea

Blue is no longer blue
Shades of black and purple
Begin to seep through
And confuse my vision.

Deep in the Sea

Calls from creatures
Songs from sirens
Rushing of water
Reverberate inside me.

Deep in the Sea

I lose sense of me
Becoming nothing
Yet still something
As I float aimlessly.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

As I sleep
With Eyes Open
I still Hope
I still Dream

As I fade
Into Oblivion
My Heart Breaks
Shattered and Frayed

I Cried Out

Fragments of Myself
Pieces that are Broken
Do not Form
Do not Unite

Buried in Dirt
I Ache
Severed from Me
I Pray

I Mourn

Crystallizing Scars
My Arms are Weak
Body Weighed Down
Gold Seeping Through

As I Reconnect
I Awaken
To Pain
And Endless Suffering

I Am Outrage



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Deberia saber
Que me dejaras

No mas para que ves
Te la estas buscando

Hacimos pareja
Pero te vi alla

Mucho para aguantar
Tu eras mi vida
Pero  la vida no es justo

Era estupida para amar te?
Era tonta ayudar te?
Era ovio a todo lo de mas?

Me calli por tu mentira
Tu nunca me querias

Engañame una y doz veces
Voy a morir en un paradiso

Tu nunca me vas a ver llorar
No hay tiempo a morir

Lo deje quemar
Tu no eres mi preocupacion

Fantasmas de mi pasado regresan
Otro leccion para aprender

Tu nunca me vas a ver llorar
No hay tiempo a morir



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

i once read a poem
about a siren call
during the night

so as i laid in bed
i stretched my senses
waiting for a sound

would i hear...

stars colliding
imploding on themselves

comets flying
their icy tails crackling

asteroids flying
rotating each other

or will i hear nothing
just silence
from a quite void.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Gave everything you had
To a love you thought would last.

You wanted to be there
By their side till the end of time.

Favors they asked of you
Stretched you thin like paper.

Your calls and messages
Were left on read, unanswered.

You waited for them
As the sun rose and fell asleep.

When you walked away
They decided to plea and beg.

You decided this was it
This will be your last first lover.


You said goodbye
To the person that made you suffer.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Commemorate
When days went by
In tides that were
Harnessed by the moon

Cicadas
Crooning melodies
In the summer heat
Near the riverbank

Straining
To caress my hand
Trying to mend the
Growing divide

Irredeemable
Are those moments
Juvenile woe
Intertwined with hope

Pretentiously
You laugh at me
I smile behind
A facade of Cheer

Exasperated
I ascend from you
Conjure up the will
To say farewell to you



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Burst of light
Ricochet against
Moving tides.

Memories float
To the surface
Of my mind.

Smiles creep
On my face.
Pleasant thoughts

Floating high.
Delirium and Pride
Cease to forget.

Moment arrives
For goodbye.
Yet I remember

A forgotten friend



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Snow that falls
Breaths that cease
Hands that freeze
Eyes don't see

Can you move?

From the world
As they wrap
Their hands
On your throat

Can you scream?

For mercy
Salvation and
Vindication
For your dreams

Can you fight?

With your hands
Holding a blade
Aimed straight
Pointing at them

Or will you die?

Final exhale
A sigh goodbye
Hand outstretch
Towards the sky



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Skin fade into nothingness
Like butterfly wings
On a sunny day

Our hearts and lungs
Break and decay
Withered away like snakes

My feet are broken
Like sycamore trees
That are uprooted

My eyes do not see
Like the horizon
When it meets the sea

All of me
No longer seems to knows
What it feels to be alive



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

I am sinking into darkness
Into pain and uncertainty

Noises join to make
Harmonies

I am standing on an island
Facing west without direction

All the voices that I hear
Remedies

Visions fly past me at night
Whales sing with delight

Wails that I listen
Discoveries

The hole in my heart remains
But it still beats



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

yo no más te quería
yo no te queria dejar

yo no te metia
las palabras en tu bocas

para mi tu eres
un milagro
una belleza

para mi tus abrazos
muy fuertes
fortalezen

para mi tus labios
me dormian
tranquiliza

yo no mas te queria
para una enternidad



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

Seems our minds are made up
No one dares to speak

Recalling the moments
We dare leave behind

Remember how we embraced
No matter what we said

We dared to believe
In a moment of respite

Traces of lost bliss
Belonging to another life

Hesitantly moving on
Memories cherished- lost

Curtains fall on us
Wanderers- moving on



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Do you dream of yourself crying?
Does your heartache for more?
Even as I am weeping silently
I can't help but yearn.

I am still silently crying
Reaching out blindly for more
Laughter cannot cure my sadness
I can't help but yearn.

Though I may not be crying
That doesn't mean I want nothing
Chest constricting inside me
I can't help but yearn.



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

When dusks sets
Nothing to say
All that is broken
Heals itself

Bonds of ice
She creeps out
Cold horizon
Frozen breaths

All is set
But not quiet
Until it is
No longer

Advancing forward
Into oblivion
Illuminating
She exists



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Mug in the hand
Book on the lap
Shawl on my head
Cat near my legs

A sight to see
A moment to feel
I sense the moon
Reaching outwards

Even if it is quite
Sounds ricochet
Even if it is dark
Light penetrates

Heart explodes
Tears of happiness
Bleeding laughter
Smiling euphoria

Even drowning
Or suffocating
In the dark
Hope surrounds me



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

There is a weight in my bed
Where you sat and laid in

If we try to step back, retrace
Would it show on my face
Reminding you of this place

It is time to walk in my shoes
Hard making it up to you

There's a lump in my chest
Waiting for you to rest
But you are already dressed

I think it is cruel of you
Leave me out of the blue



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Sitting inside a room
Moving along with sound
Dying to get out
Trying to not fall asleep

People do not notice me
Emotions are rising up
Parts of me are screaming
Going to eventually explode

Exams made me dizzy
You do not understand
Doing all of this leads to tears
So I just cry silently



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Opened like a door
Letting strange people through

Closed the door when it was me
Had me standing feeling so blue

Decided to knock and wait
Shadow of me waiting for a blue moon

Did not hear you sneaking
Under the moon, through the back door

Why did I go to this party?
Knowing you were going to appear

Why did it have to be you?
On the dance floor under the blue light

Realizing I have no right to cry
The reason this pain stays is me

Easier to blame you
For something I allowed to hurt

Decided to leave out of the blue
Since I am just so done feeling sorry



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Tell me.

Why do you sing?
Does it not get tiring
Singing to nobody?

You just keep on flying
Straight through the desert
Straight into Midnight

I can still see you
I sadly still hear you
Perched on my windowsill

Let's just make one thing clear
I am not torturing you
I am not the cruel one

Do you think your music soothes me?
I prefer the silence
To your screeches of anguish

Do you think anyone appreciates
Birds that sing by windows
When one wants to be alone?

You just keep on singing
Why do you hate me?
Why do you not leave me?

Tell me.



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Sometimes When You
Stand
                You
                             Fall
                                               Asleep.

In the Morning
With Coffee
You Stay
Awake.

Eyes Begin
To Slowly
Close
On
Their
Own.

You Might Be Sleeping
Without a Care.

Make Sure You Bring
A Blanket at Least.



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

I want to take a ride with you
I want to take a ride away from you
I wanted to escape this life
But now with you, I start to cry

I want to take a taxi away from here
But then my arms get heavy
My heart is out of place

I want to take an airplane into the sky
But my lungs they constrict
Behind eyelids stars shine

I decide to take a taxi with you
But my feet stay in place
I call out for my mommy

Why can I not escape this life?
I said that I will be long gone
Now I am stuck inside four walls
I shake and cry when I have to step out

I wanted to take a ride with you
I saw you as an escape, its true
I never really loved you for you
You were just an ending, not the goal



© Sofia Villagrana 2019