I wanted to write about the 1st of May
Pagan dancers and girl queens dressed as Fey
With green budding leaves in a delicate crochet
Adorning their hairline in a graceful spray
Crocus and bluebells weaved into archways
They twist their ribbons in a beautiful bouquet
In ancient ritual they move and sway
Respecting the Spring Gods their blessings to pay  
I wanted to write about the 1st of May ......
But what I should be writing is a fu*king essay...!!

(C) Pixievic

There you are ......
A lump
A lump of the kind that strikes fear in the breast of every woman
Hiding
Growing inside me
Like an embryonic cancer
Or a cyst
Or a symptom of age
Whatever you are
You're here .....
And I wish you weren't
I go about my mindless life
Left waiting to discover if I'm just
Old
Infected
or
Dying .....

(C) Pixievic

My aim today
Is simply to
Make you smile
It's what I do
As you sit
Behind your desk
Take a moment
To digest
This little rhyme
It's sent with love
To wrap you up
Just like a glove
Your day's mundane
Your job's a bore
But soon you'll walk
Out of the door
Into the sun
Where lovers kiss
Under the trees
And you'll feel bliss
But if all else fails
I hope with grace
I've put a smile
Upon your face!

(C) Pixievic

Hand in hand
Soul with soul
We stand together
To behold
The magic hour
The Lady of Light
The longest day
And shortest night
We'll sing a song
That heals the earth
While the Lord of Fire
Begins his rebirth
As they settle
Upon their thrones
In circles
We'll dance around the stones
In ancient ritual
Druids chant
Maidens kiss
Faeries dance
This Summer Solstice
Has begun....
Love each other
Be as one
Bring peace & hope
Back to this land
Stand together
Hand in hand

(C) Pixievic

A slumbering beast
nestled inside
the soft, warm, folds
of a hallowed grotto
buried deep
gently waiting
until desire
dictates it raises itself
in majesty
to ****** deeper
harder
filling the void completely
feasting on lust
taking everything
before quietly
settling back
into the
antiquity of this enchantment
a sleeping dragon
who's fire burns deep .....

(C) Pixievic

Together we laughed
Together we cried
Together we shared
Together we sighed  
And when we two part
Alone in this fantasy
Together we'll have
Our bittersweet memory

(C) Pixievic

Everyone has baggage
A suitcase from the past
It's how we choose to deal with it
That decides if it will last
Me - I have a steamer trunk
Bursting at the seams
Full of bits & pieces
Broken hearts & shattered dreams
Stuffed full of self objection
Self criticism & blame
Cloaked in dust & cobwebs
You can barely see my name
But now I shall unpack it
From the attic of my mind
Pull it out into the light
From the place it's been consigned
The lock is old and rusted
Battered from the sea
From the ashes of emotions
But I have a brand new key
And so I delve into its depths
Retrieving from the embers
Fragments of my past - that
It hurts me to remember
Old books, cassettes & letters
Hankies soaked with tears
The crumbs of old injustice
The mammoth bones of fear
I lay them out around me
And soak up all the pain
Seeing them with new eyes
Before I shut the lid again
Lurking in the darkness
Hidden underneath the rope
That I put there once to end it
Is a polished gem of hope
I grab it with both hands
Clasp it tight against my breast
This tiny piece of energy
Undetected in the chest
I shall put it in my pocket
And stroke it when I'm down
When my world closes in on me
It will soothe away my frown
Because now I own my baggage
It's no longer in the past
I have hope, self love & guidance
And this is set to last
Be un afraid my friends
Of those suitcases of old
That weigh you down, drag you along
Sheathed in grime & mould
Unpack them & rejoice my friends
Find the hope submerged inside
And love yourselves, like others do
And do it - with a sense of pride

(C) Pixievic 2016

Imposing Slate
Brushes shoulders with veiled divinity
Commanding attention from Sky Blues
Sliver cloudbursts
Spread tiny droplets of Crystal
To yield luscious Emeralds
Peeling off in sun kissed hues
Cascading towards pebbled Greys
Shots of Crimson
Mingle with Aquamarines
Gently swaying amongst traces of Gold
White tips race towards shingles
Churning Sapphires into Inky Blackness
Shepherding in an opaque understanding
Preserving its secrets
Anticipating .......
Ready to explore distant waters

(C) Pixievic

You said it might be a bit uncomfortable
That it feels like a little scratch
Or perhaps it's like a bee sting
But then you start to latch
My **** into something
Described as a gentle squeeze ....
But I wish that you'd be honest
And just tell me please
Your ***** I'm going to pummel
Stick them with 8 inch pins
Crush them into vices
Then hammer iron nails in
And then when you've reached
The end of your tether
I'll smile sweetly & tell you
You might feel under the weather .....!!
Well the lies they don't help
In any way or fashion
It wouldn't **** you, you know
To show me some compassion
Well I tell you what
Here's my little joke
I'm going to punch you in the face
It'll feel like a gentle stroke ....!

(C) Pixievic




(C) Pixievic

You are like Spring rain
Soaking through my skin
Pervading my thoughts
Infusing my mind
With the sweet, damp smell of
Sodden earth
And
         S e x
My body drenched
Submerged in ardent craving
Nectar

             D
                 r
               i
                  p
                     p
                   i
               n
                    g

From open petals
Succulently
Drowning in the downpour
Flooding every cell
With the wantonness
Of budding life
Growing in fervour
In your thunderstorm
The desert of my being
Succumbs to this mirage
And a need
For
       Your
                 R a i n .......

(C) Pixievic

Now I don't look exactly normal
In fact I often look bizarre
I'm used to second glances
Being stared at from afar
And when I go out shopping
It is often quite the case
That store detectives & the like
Think I'm going to rob the place
So ......
While on a birthday shopping trip
In a rather fancy store
I am not surprised by the looks I get
As I walk in through the door
I can feel the condescension
From the girls behind the counter
But I'm not phased, not put out
It won't make me flounder!
I smile politely and carry on
Chatting on my phone
Browsing overpriced attire
Happy on my own
I flick through the rails
Of designers I don't know
When an overly made up young girl
Appears at my elbow .....
'Excuse me ....' she whispered
And
My heart begins to sink
Because
I have a preconceived idea
Of what it is that she might think .....
'There are two ladies over there
Standing at the desk
They believe they know you
Could it be that you're an actress?!'
I start to laugh .... 'Well no'
I reply 'but I do play in a band
Perhaps that's where they've seen me
We're quite often in demand!'
She scuttled off on sky high heels
To tell them I play bongos
She shakes her head as she returns
'It's your voice they think they know.....'
'Oh....' I say 'well I have been known
To spout some spoken word
In pubs and cafes locally
Could that be what they've heard?'
So then to gather their attention
She gestures kinda wildly
They all come trotting over
I was amused (to put it mildly!)
'Yes, yes that's it' one lady said
'I've seen you at the 'Hatstand'
Can we get your autograph?'
She ****** a pen into my hand
And just like that I'm famous
And the girls who until that point
Had thought I was not worthy
To frequent their little joint
Fell over themselves backwards
To offer me the world
Complimentary coffee and
Champagne was soon unfurled
They flitted all around me
Caught up in what they thought
Was a star in their presence
My respect they now sought ......
It was my 'Pretty Woman' moment
When their bias was exposed
If I were a different person
I could have stayed there til they closed
But although to have been recognised
Had made me feel delighted
Their attitude beforehand
Had left me feeling slighted
So I left - with words of thanks
For their false display
Of kindness towards me
And went on about my day .....
Now I know we all make judgments
Upon people that we meet
But it really isn't fair, as we don't know
What lies beneath
That strange looking person
In a torn and muddy dress
Because
In reality you could be looking at
An almost famous poetess!!

(C) Pixievic

This is this
Imperfectly perfect
Shadows burned into candlelight
Yin to yang
Two halves of something
Powerless as our passions unite
Chasing rainbows
Through shrouded skies
Bursting clouds to find our light
This is this
Imperfectly perfect
Two stars in the ocean burning bright


(C) Pixievic

I        
am      
Emerging


departing
from
the desert
of this
scattered
life of living
just
existing in
this world


I        
am      
Emerging


from the
shrouding of
want and
longing
that's lived
like a canker on
the landscape
of my mind


**I          
am        
Emerging


from the downpour
of emotion
from all the things
that I have
missed
through a
lifetime
full of pain


I            
am          
Emerging

into my new beginning

Beautifully Mindful

(C) Pixievic 2016

A year ago  -  today

You told me we should never have got married.....

That you didn't love me

Anymore


My heart        


     F        R                  T             R               D
                     A       C         U                E


Into a thousand tiny pieces      
Which lodged themselves in my mouth
Rendering me unable speak
My dumbfounded mind
Raced to catch up to the words you uttered with such carelessness


One year on

Like petals looping through the winds of time
Waving at the door of Hades
Pursuing the light of redemption down a snaking tunnel
My heart has returned to its rightful place
Still bruised
But whole again
I am happy in my oneness
Not lonely    
                    Just
Alone
                       ­       Being
                                                  Me

Meanwhile.­.......

You're in a 'relationship' with someone who is still married......

But not to you

Happy Valentine's Day!

(C) Pixievic 2016

Let your inner imp go  f r e e

Don't keep it locked inside

Let it RRRRRUUUUUNNNN!

And  
                             P  
                   M    
         U   
J             

And PLAY again

You're sure to win a

                     S                            E
                           M      I       L

(C) Pixievic 2016

Lady Moon
You wax & wane
You play your game
With tide & mood
Emotions high
In cloudless skies
My pending thoughts
Become unglued

(C) Pixievic 2016

That screaming banshee
That lives inside
Forever taunting
Feasting on insecurity
Devouring the good
Promoting the bad

Self blaming

The you're worthless voice
You'll amount to nothing
Who the hell told you you could do it anyway
You are I N S I G N I F I C A N T
Just a waste of space

The you deserve this voice
Take yourself away
Make room for the people who really matter
Where is your warrior now?
She has deserted you too
She was never really your ally......

Pull the pin

Just do it .......  

P  u  l l   T h e   P  i  n

Tick, tick, tick......

Wait!
A whisper
Heard like a faint echo
From across the desert
Breathing, pulsating, awake

Walk away from the cliff edge
Eyes open
To truly see
The monsters that live inside
Weeping
Let it out
Find it within
It's there
Hiding
Give it
Life
Love
And
Just be

(C) Pixievic 2016

As the minutes tick by
Languidly
Seconds taking hours
To reach their goal
I ask myself
Is he here?!

Standing alone in a sea full of faces
Seeking
People turning from my
Penetrating gaze
And I ask myself
Is he here?!

Eyes closing, inwardly searching
Breathing
Thwarting the **** of noise
Head against the wall
And I tell myself
He   is   here!

The countdown begins

Ten, nine, eight
Eyes open

Seven, six, five
Mind uncloaked

Four, three, two
Red wine smile plastered on

One ....
Go!

A quick prayer
No!

I do not care
He   is   not   here

Raising glasses, toasting in
The New Year
With new hopes and dreams
Untrodden - unbroken
I ask myself
Am I here?

The universe opens its arms
Embracing
Asking for wishes
Promising fulfilment,
And I ask myself
Am I here?

The old year is gone - mine to
Forget
I kiss it farewell
With no regret
And I tell myself
I      am     here!

And here               And here

                 Forever

                               Here


(C) Pixievic 2016

I long to gaze upon your rugged beauty
Magnificent as you rise up
From soft flowing valleys
To collide with the clouds
Slate coloured eyes
Surveying everything beneath you
Dangerously calling me to conquer

I long to swim in your energy
Caught up in the waves of your emotion
Intoxicated by your ebb and flow
My sanity lost in your cadence
Throbbing in your tide
Adrift in the moment as you propel me
Back against the rocks

I long to lose myself in your radiance
As you hang suspended in a sea of stars
Calling lovers to worship
Powerless to resist your temptation
Assaulting my senses with romantic whimsy
Knowing that this soul awakening
Will soon cease to exist

I long to climb in your nakedness
Your skin rough against mine as I ascend skywards
Balancing on sunbeams
A vision caught in stillness
Stripped of colour
Waiting to be reborn
As Spring slowly warms our limbs

I long to watch you break free again
Flower heads bursting through cold cracked earth
Invading my wasteland with exquisite provocation
Observing from a distance
A future that could be
Captured in a heartbeat

I long to feel alive, rekindled, empowered
I long to smoulder in the flame of your eyes
Drown in a waterfall of passion
Soar like an eagle released from agony
Rising in ecstasy  
Knowing my fall will be softy broken

Lovelonging

I          Long          For          Love

(C) Pixievic 2016

Tears drip
Like lead
from the stained glass
behind my eyes
Pooling in hollowed cheeks
Streaking colours
of memories
lost in sepia
Gathering in momentum
Cascading towards
a bittersweet freedom
I have been blind
Clinging to a
fantasy
Instead of life in
reality ......
Be that as it may
My eyes are
Now open
Released from
their shackles
Feasting on a beauty
otherwise unknown
Chasing
A better me

(C) Pixievic

Sometimes I feel
I give & give
My love, my wisdom
It's how I live
But some people, they
Just take & take
They **** me dry
With their heartache

I boost them up
Tell them they're fine
Encourage them
I'm their lifeline
When times are tough
When life is hard
I rally round
Love unbarred

But where are they
When I'm feeling down
They're just not here
They've all left town
I say I'm blue
I'm lost, I'm sad
I need a hug
I'm feeling bad

But they don't respond
To my plea
My hopelessness
They can not see
They do not care
Or can not cope
With my despair
There is no hope

I guess I need
To walk away
For my self worth
I can not stay
It can't go on
It has to change
I need to find
Some exchange

I'm not unkind
I just want to feel
That they'll give it back
That they'll be real
And understand
They can't just take
Because
Eventually
I'll

B r e a k

(C) Pixievic

My face - it is natural
With a map of lines
Of life well lived
With plenty of wine
My body gave birth
To a gorgeous boy
It is soft & forgiving
There to enjoy
My ***** a pillow
To rest a head
(They get lost in my armpits
when I lie down in bed!)

I'd rather wear wellies
And dance in the rain
Than crippling heels
That cause nothing but pain
With the war paint of singles
Applied to my face
Concealing my feelings
My beauty misplaced
This is not me
These trappings of youth
A sheep in lambs clothing
It's just so uncouth


I am me
I am real
I will not pretend
Nor will I conceal
All of these things
That make up the girl
Who still kicks up her heels
And twists & twirls
Whose mind is a buzz
With words & rhymes
So I shall wait for a lover
Who's worthy of mine

Once
I never knew you existed
You were not part of my world
And life was simple

Like a tornado of sensuality
You tore through my existence
Leaving a devastating
Desire in your wake

Your kiss was everything I imagined
And now .......

Nothing is simple

(C) Pixievic

Surrounded in a moment
Drinking whiskey in a bar
The world reflected in a mirror
Observing from a far
There's no knowledge of the future
No guilt from the past
Just this single moment
Suspended - then gone so fast
Sad songs on the radio
Faces full of pain
The shrouding of the sky
Brings a threat of rain
Surrender to this moment
And forget about the blame
Live this life completely
As things never stay the same

(C) Pixievic

Just minding my own business
Standing in a line
With a basket full of shopping
In a headspace that was mine
When suddenly a voice piped up

'What you cooking love?!'

And being kind
I turned around
And stood gazing from above ....

Upon a short & greasy man
Who's eyes were firmly fixed
To the swelling of my *****
He really was transfixed!
I cleared my throat and said 'hello'
In an attempt to raise
That shiny head with thinning hair
From it's penetrating gaze

'Well I'm cooking chicken'
I said without a beat

'That's a shame' came his reply
'coz I don't really eat meat'

'This is for my family'
My response was firm & clear

'So you're not inviting me then?'
He said - without raising an ear

'Well no not really'I replied
Turning my back again
And then tap tap upon my arm
Hard enough to cause some pain
And so being well bought up
I turned again to face
This strange companion in my wait
To get out of this place

'I think you're very pretty'
He said - not raising up his head

'Ummm Thank you' I returned
Whilst fiddling with my bread

'So you know what really bugs me?'
He spat with quite some venom
'This thing that girls have got
Wearing double denim...'
'And all of these tattoos they have
Do they really think
That men find it attractive?'

Well - I didn't stop to think

I slowly turned my back again
And quietly pulled down a sleeve
And removed my arms one by one
Not wishing to deceive
And revealed in all its glory
The ink across my back
And glanced across my shoulder
To watch his fast backtrack...

I wear my self expression
Emblazoned on my skin
I am inked & I am proud
I'm not going to keep it hidden
So my advice to you is this my friends
If a date is what you seek
Talk to my face
Don't be rash
And don't call me a freak!!

(C) Pixievic 2016

I am single - again
And a girl who has needs
So boys I beg you
To follow my lead
I have a mouth
That likes to be kissed
Softy and gently
It's not to be missed
Don't stick your tongue in
Like a pneumatic drill
Or **** on my face
Like a puppy on pills
My lips have nerves
That give me pleasure & pain
They like to be savoured
Not tugged on in vain
And my ******* ... Please don't pummel
It doesn't do much
They react much better
To a sweeter touch
Nor do my *******
Respond to twisting
I am not a radio
This will not make me sing!
A gentle squeeze
Or a kiss or a tickle
Will get you much further
I'm not being fickle
And boys.... I beg you
Now this is the worst ....
My ****** won't bite you
(Forgive my outburst!)
You might like to touch it
Caress it or play
I'm happy to guide you
If you lose your way
It's not just a place
For your **** to settle
Treat it with love and
You'll open my petal
Now, I'm not hard to please
But it's time this was said
And these aren't just my needs
To keep me in bed
For us single lasses
Who you want to impress
We don't care about income
Or the way that you dress
We want some attention
That shows that you care
There is no manual
Of this I'm aware
We're each of us different
But we'll tell you just ask
We'll show you the way
And keep you on task
It's about mutual pleasure
Believe me it works
And if you follow this guide
There'll be more perks
So boys please remember
If you promise me bliss
Be strong - be gentle
And start with a kiss!

(C) Pixievic 2016

This is me
An embroidered creature cobbled together from fragments of history
Radiant
Brilliant
Bouncing around in this abnormality we refer to as life
Always seeking answers to questions that have yet to be asked
Unrestrained
Uncontrolled
Tirelessly looking for a way in
Chasing the wind over barren landscapes with threadbare trees waiting for sun kissed days - to be
Reborn
Rediscovered
A mythical being
Lost in legend with the remoteness of one long forgotten
Never finding myself
Forever locked in eternal seclusion
Waiting
Anticipating
Praying to unseen Gods for guidance who listen with deaf ears
Surrounded by happiness built on the fragile foundations of youth
Observing
Alert
Trying to find my own way
Of just being
Just being ....
Just being - me

(C) Pixievic 2016