I have many wishes.....
To wake up each morning and love life
Forever smiling
Knowing that the world will smile back
To gaze into the eyes of true love
It's beauty deflecting my ugly
To lie under a blanket of stars
Warmed by wonder and endless possibility
The sweet smell of blossoms
Invading my bruises
Painting new colours in a history
Where my body has not
Betrayed me
Tomorrow .....
In a windowless room
With fake art on the wall
I'll know .....
And my only wish
Is for more
Time ......

(C) Pixievic

Sat on a bench
Reading a book
A shadow appears
So I take a look.....

There in my face
Without any shame
Stood a man in a coat
Without a name
Clasped in his hand
His **** - stood up tall
A look on his face
That said it all

"You're on your own
So I'll ruin your day
By showing my ****"
What's left to say?!
His sweaty palm
Moving so fast
Stroking his ego
Rubbing his shaft

'For ***** sake' I cried
Standing to leave
'Put it away!'
Quite tame I believe
For now what I wish
Is I'd taken a shot
A swift kick or a swipe
To show him who's boss

If I'd had a ***
I'd have taken stock
And stubbed it quite calmly
On the end of his ****!!
Alas all I did
Was walk away
And ring the police
Then got on with my day!

(C) Pixievic

You came to me
Cloaked in expression
Which echoed my very being
A shared understanding
Of an
Unforgotten history

Our words
Will forever unite us

With leaps like Salmon
We'll fight upstream
Goddesses now
Warriors
Queens

You are the rainbow in my cloud
Sunshine breaking through my scars
When I become unstuck
Your glue will anchor my heart

A smile sings in my soul
To know that you are there
My girl J
And me*

(C) Pixievic 2016

I have a need and desire
Fulfilled in quiet afternoons
As I gaze into your eyes
I see a universe reflected back
I am yours in this moment
My body sings under your hands
Delicious hardness
Exquisitely probing the depths of my abyss
Rocking me gently towards my utopia
I want this instant to last forever
Hovering in agonising limbo
On the edge of ecstasy
A storm of sexuality
Exploding between my thighs as I take you
Deeper
Harder
Until there is no sense left in the world
Just this moment ......

Then it is gone
And
I return to my day

(C) Pixievic

Drinking cider
Late into the night
Then homemade *****
By candle light
Seemed such a
Wonderful idea

Until today

Alas I fear
My pile of paper
Will not shrink
The ***** dishes
Are still in the sink
The washing machine
Is far too loud
My head is firmly
In the clouds
The morning has
Just run away
I really wish
That I could stay
Curled up in bed
With nought but dreams
Navel gazing
In the sunbeams

Such Bliss......

But alas
I know I should
Move my ***
And get on
With things mundane
And really try
To engage my brain

Maybe

Just one more cup
Of coffee - black
Will wake me up
And some tunes
To dance around
Just in my pants
That pumping sound.....

No more of this
Up up she cries
I shall conquer
No compromise
In just a tick
Just one more minute
I'll will get up
And get on with it.....

And yet still
I'm here upon my bed
Making excuses
Just resting my head
And writing rhymes

But that won't do
Right
She's up!
Phew....

(C) Pixievic 2016

Die hard hipsters
Wildly clinging to images of
Adolescence
Regaling epic fables
Lost inside **** infested minds
Grazing shoulders with the
Super cool young things
Franticly plunging ahead
Towards perceived sophistication
Bearded dudes
Heads cocked at a jaunty angle
Whiskey in hand, lust in their eyes
Confrontation
Just one sip away
Painted princesses
With ***** smeared lipstick and beguiling costumes
Stealing glances in the direction
Of anticipated adulation
Dreamy trumpets from bygone days
Colliding with breakbeats
Deliciously intoxicating
Shimmering
Across dance floors
Bodies blending
Contorting in need
Cheeks flushed
From a desire to complete
Glorious in their absurdity
Pretension festers
Brilliance diminished
Hidden within conformity
And a compulsion to submit
Its Friday Night
The pressure is on
To 'be seen'
Where intention is necessary
But the encounter
Is
Everything

(C) Pixievic 2016

My head is saying walk away
My heart is saying stay, stay!

My head is saying what will be will be
My heart is saying please, love me

My head is saying all this will pass
My heart is saying I'm made of glass

My head is saying I don't need you
My heart is saying but I want you

My head is saying Vic get a grip!
My heart is saying

Watch out you'll slip
And fall into his arms
As soon as he turns on his charms
And drags you back into this hell
Where you'll be
Completely
Under his spell...

My head is saying Walk Away!
But still I stay
And pray
That perhaps
You'll change

One day......

(C) Pixievic 2016

Waiting to Happen

Who is she?
This being
This life
In and out of existence with no real
Connection
A superficial exterior needed to shield
A crumbling, shattered spirit, hidden Underneath
There are no pieces
No fragments to paste together
Nothing inside but a void so deep it might never be filled
Be warned
This is a cruel and dangerous world
Where nothing is ever as it seems
I use words as weapons and then
For love
Other people's confusion will consume you
If you let it
When someone steals your soul
It is hard to find your way back
Retreat
Hide
Gaze out with a longing upon a fragile memory
Don't let the demons of insecurity
Feast on your dreams
Journey inwards with permission to see
Daylight
Rise again
From the ashes of reality on whimsical  wings
A masterpiece ......
Just waiting to happen

(C) Pixievic 2016

I'm in too deep
There is no retreat
My dreams repeat
I wanna take a leap
And forget the creep
But I end up in a heap
And all I do is weep

I'm in too deep
There is no retreat
My dreams repeat
I wanna take a leap
And forget the creep
But I end up in a heap
And all I do is seep

I'm in too deep
There is no retreat
My dreams repeat
I wanna take a leap
And forget the creep
But I end up in a heap
And all I do is ......
Keep
          going
  circles      round
          ­   in

(C) Pixievic 2016

I am who I am
Because I met you

Because I met you
I have changed
For the better

(C) Pixievic 2016

May you forever walk amongst faeries bathed with incandescent joy

(C) Pixievic 2016

Dear God - are you there?
Dear God - are you listening?
Dear God - I need you

Dear God - have you left me?
Dear God - I can't hear you!
Dear God - I am alone

Dear God - what's he doing?
Dear God - I am frightened!
Dear God - this hurts!

Dear God - how could you?
Dear God - I was a child!
Dear God.... *******!

(C) Pixievic 2016

For Ben

My heart breaks for you
My baby boy
Your world has fallen down
My soul cries out for you my love
I can't kiss away your frown
It's been an uphill struggle
But you are not to blame
I understand your life now
Will never be the same
One day I hope that you will see
That all of this is best
Until you do, it will be hard
It's one of life's cruel tests
You'll always be my baby boy
That will never change
My love for you grows stronger
Though dad & I are estranged
You do not need to choose
One of us to love the most
We will always love you
Remember that foremost
I wish it could be different
That we could have made it work
That your life did not have changes
That you had not been hurt
Please be kind to yourself my love
Do not let this be
The unmaking of your excellence
That I could not bare to see
I will always be here for you
I'll always be your mum
Forever loving you my love
In all the years to come

(C) Pixievic 2016

In quiet contemplation
I sit & listen to the rain
Its gentle beat, its soothing tone
Then its torrent once again
It is a natural cleanser
That washes quite away
All these pesky feelings
That are so determined to stay

I wish I had another soul

To sit with here, who might
Enjoy the rain & like to share
This music of the night
But alas I sit alone
And listen once again
To the symphony outside my window
The throbbing singing of the rain

(C) Pixievic 2016

My skin is inked with
Blacks & greys
Across my essence
They dance their ballet
Their shadows reveal
A unique hidden beauty
Quietly waiting
Veiled with insecurity

But

I watch your colours
Bursting out
Patterns swirling
Your expressions shout
A moth to the flame
My senses delight
I want to paint passion
With you tonight

(C) Pixievic 2016

Give life your hand
You'll be surprised where it takes you
Enjoy where you land
Push on and breakthrough
Trust in your soul
It's guidance will thrill you
Follow the wormhole
To experiences new
The universe waits
For those who will take it
Go find a playmate
And cradle their spirit
Kiss under the stars
And smile in the rain
Create your own memoirs
Own all your pain
Grab life with both hands
Embrace all it gives you
Obey it's commands
And twist with the corkscrew
Give life your hand
And love where it takes you
Enter the dreamland
And to yourself be true

(C) Pixievic 2016

I         Stand        Still
Motionless, in a kaleidoscopic tide of emotion
Spewing it's entrails
Demanding I take - notice
I tell it to

*******!

It is relentless in its desire to consume me
Like a - bad trip
Lucy in her Sky with
Demons

Surround yourself with love

                                              they say

Well love, can              
******* too!

I conceal myself within a cloak of exasperation
Majestic in its cynicism

And     I      stand     still

Rooted
Amongst the floating debris of dependency
In which my soul
Begs for escape

(C) Pixievic 2016

I look at her
And all I see
Is everything

That isn't me!

I thought it'd help
But I'm in pain
I didn't think
I'd cry again
But it hurts and hurts

The pain inside

I truly think
My heart has died

I know you thought
I didn't care
That it wouldn't cause
Me such despair
But oh how wrong
Can one man be
If only you
Had talked to me

Now romance blossoms
In your life
While I sit alone

Still your wife

One day in time
My turn will come
And I'll cease to feel
Broken and numb
But for now
I own my pain
And let the tears
Fall heavy again

I look at her
And what I see
Is that you'll never

Ever

Return to me

(C) Pixievic 2016

Love lies bleeding
Yelping incessantly
In its predominantly
Narcissistic
Grief

Love
Is
Torturous in its
Truth
Love does not guarantee for-
Ever afters

Comparatively
Unfailing, it
Never reveals its true
Tenacity

(C) Pixievic 2016

My
Words
Spoke
To your
Heart
          You said
I had a
Beautiful
Mind

I was
Flattered
I set down
My shield
Thought you
To be
Kind

You offered
          A drink
              A kiss
                  More......

Only then
After several
Hours of
Conversation
Did you tell me

In case it
'Made a difference'

That
Actually
You
Were
Taken

(C) Pixievic 2016

Tears of rage sting my eyes
       The anger burns inside
              I am used up, spent
                     I have nothing left
                          So I retreat behind my disguise

                                                (C) Pixievic 2016

Just because you're nice to me
Don't think that I don't know
I can read your thoughts so easily
Your intention is on 'show'
I've seen your eyes roam over me
Your stare it's like a prison
You've ****** me in your fantasy
So sure of a submission
Do you imagine I'll come willingly?
Your promise in your smile
You've planned it all so brilliantly
Engineered it with such style
But there's a flaw in your logic
And you forget my sweet
That I'm actually a person
Not just a piece of meat!
You assume your words will thrill me
Your banter's so contrived
You conclude that I can't fathom
That you think - therefore you've lied!
Besides you've got a tiny ****
It's written on the wall
By the last girl that you bedded
And then 'forgot' to call!!
I'm actually intelligent
A brain lies in my head
A fact you might acknowledge
If you want me in your bed
And so I'll not apologise
For my parting lines to you
"Go **** yourself baby -
Coz this girl ain't going to!"

(C) Pixievic 2016

I sit in my comfy chair of denial - over thinking

(C) Pixievic 2016

I want my life back
With no interruptions
I want to be me
Without asking questions
I want to live my life
And not have to worry
I am me and me alone
I am tired
Of saying sorry!!

(C) Pixievic 2016

Your words used to thrill
Your words once held me tight, but
Now your words scream lies

(C) Pixievic 2016