You thought you couldn't injure my heart
and that you could get away hurting me by your cheating dart
But you were so wrong cause I am ready for a fight
I am so much stronger with amazing might
Revenge is my name and I am ready to take you down
I am not crazy, my mind is incredible and sound
Cheating guys are all the same and you never change
with your dog like personality and your mange
You rack up your numbers saying this is what makes a man
I promise you Mr.Dog you will get yours,you will be ******
I will find a real man,I will be respected and greatly loved
Only thing you will find is your many diseases and your doctors hand gloved

When did it happen
when was that moment
when you became my home
Your steadiness has kept me safe
it has warmed me from the chill of being alone
I am comforted by your embrace
When the spirit of fear tries to choke my peace
you are there to steady my hands and my gaze

That night when I could not find you
I was amazed how quickly my world fell apart
feeling that you were hurt or the possibility
of your absence from my life
panic became my every inhale and exhale

Then I heard your voice
and my world was sane again
surprise over took me in my realization
of how intricate you are to my life
I am more than wanting you
I need you and that within itself scares me
I have to have you,because you are my home

I wanted to die
desire almost came to pass.
Wanted to hide,
but the darkness was to vast.
I felt the spark of that piercing light,
felt smaller than my fear,
but it was stronger and it gave me might
even with the down pure of the individual tear.
I had to give my permission
to let the light grow
it was my new mission
opening up to the wisdom to let in the know,
that I was not alone
their was someone there,
it was not the world's tone
it was God and He did swear.
Never to leave me or forsake me,
surrounded by His overwhelming Love,
voicing that He could and would be
Loving me from right above.

Man, why do you drive me crazy,
Decisions of your's are more than hazy,
In front of the tv again!
Dear God above... are you lazy?
I try so hard to figure you out,
No...no... not another bout.
Give me a map of your mind
and I promise in turn to be very kind.
Because I realize we are the smarter and better ***.
Please communicate for me to escape my vex.
Should I talk slower,use puppets or interpret dance,
Because in this battle of ours, you can never advance.
So I am Woman and hear me roar
I can nag and tell you the "What For"
With my mind I am a real "Know it All"
Have the answers and will never fall,
Why am I crying,I need chocolate,do you think I am fat?
Hormones? No there is nothing to that.
Battle of the Sexes, who will win,will we ever see?
At this point,don't care, Honey? Pay attention to me!

Listen. Why can't you hear me?
I am right here.
You speak,
I speak,
and yet a misunderstanding?
You are Man I am Woman,
I know we fit,my hand in yours,
My head your chest.
At times speaking is as breathing,
This moment it is like torture...I
don't understand.
What do we do?
Work, that's what.
It's hard, it hurts.
What is the "Why" in this?
Because I Love You.

I am so sorry I brought more than me to this marriage
Bringing all those years of tears and scars
Memories I wish I could burn in the heat of the sun
Never to feel those emotions control my heart
To have faith in you without the endless reassurance of your love,
year,month,day, and insecure moments

They said they loved me too
Never to leave me
Acceptance of me-past,present,future
I felt safe...for awhile.

Yet you say you will never leave me
That you really see me...
You tell me I am your home.
If I could just be loved like I have never been hurt
But I was.
I will trust,rely,and adhere to your love
I choose to honor you and our vows
Releasing my faith in my God that he chose the perfect puzzle
piece for me Spirit,Soul,and Body
I love you my Love
I put my faith in your eyes,your tender caress of my tears,your embraces when I'm afraid,and cheering me on
whether I succeed or fail.
And as each day passes your love heals my scars
and I don't need the sun anymore,
Your love made me forget.

Beloved,are you my Beloved?
I waited for you before our eyes met.
Unsure in my feelings,scared,fearful.
Will you Beloved keep my heart safe
connected to your heart?Or
will I be crushed by your unloving
breathing? I want to take a chance,
my foot hovers over the chasm.
Will faith sustain and nourish us?
Is that fragrant perfume in the air ours,
will it surround us and keep us?
Behold are you my Beloved?
I will take your hand My Love,
Hope will be our sunrise for life
and we will become Beloved.

I know every line of your glorious face
with an ever gentle touch I solemnly trace

Do you see me?
Explain myself again?
Why can't we have a resume for our Being?
No explanation necessary.
Reader do you understand?
I say hello, they say hi,
Then the beats of silence, can I hide?
Please Lord I am in need of a best friend.
I miss her, could she miss me?
She knew me when,
Probably would not recognize the old Friend.
Nobody can take her place,
I miss that funny face.
But I am in need,
Lost tears not seen.
Look forward?
My Father I am so discouraged,
Don't want to be alone.

My body...
how I remember no pain,
just day to day goodness and imagination
being,doing, I was free.
Then the bonds came.
Why do I deserve this,what have I done?
The pain ripples through my body like a pebble in the water.
Tears please stop...pain please stop.
Someone please help me...anybody?
Can you help?
I want to hear the bell of freedom,
the soothing melody of mercy,hope, and peace.
I dream of a permanent solution,but there is a spark,
a spark of light that says don't give up.
Especially like that.
Tired of fighting to be strong,
this moment of weakness feels like forever.
Must fight...why is that again?
He needs me he says,
is that enough to stay stalwart?
Just live this moment out,
breathe...breathe...breathe.

Weary of being broken
My wings are tired of flight
Weakening the soul for my fight

Drowning from being broken
The tears are more than I fear
Needing you to see my eyes and hear

Do I give up because I’m broken
My heart is overwhelmed and almost dark
But I must hold on to the lantern of my smallest spark

Seeing you and those butterflies arrive
they only come when I see your eyes
your words make me laugh and smile
your accidental touch transports me for awhile
How to make you mine
seeing you warming your charms to another
this rips me in two
Can't you see me more than a friend
You admire my beauty,I make you laugh and engage you
What else must I do?
These butterflies won't leave me alone
now it is a torment my heart moans
Heart beats fast and I feel faint
The butterflies no longer bring me joy,but sorrow
Day by day hoping the butterflies finally leave  
And I can finally take a new breath for tomorrow

Storms of life weather in
You whisper in my ear
telling me I am loved
I'm Your Beloved

When fear overwhelms
You invite me in
saying I am needed
I'm Your Beloved

Insecurity burrows in
You embrace every tear
singing I am special
I'm Your Beloved

Your love envelops my heart
You captivate my spirit
saying I'm Your daughter
I'm Your Beloved

I chase her,but I need her to catch me
finish this dastardly deed
Hopelessness you work in the Art of killing faith
Naked my soul should be so I can bathe
looking to hope so she can set me free
the sun rising,mooning dancing,my heart allowed to be
One with creation,living my very best
not one with exhaustion driving me to my endless test
Where is my freedom, find and fight to hold on to peace
where my mind is open for any demon to lease
Find my armor,need my shield,wield my sword
losing even one drop of blood I cannot afford
Am I the player of this endless game
Just tired of the fighting,but I must,to breathe the breath of the sane

Can I let you go
Can I let you be
Can I let you breathe without me
Do I trust you will fly home to become one with me
I can't stand the beat of my heart
It yearns for you even in my sleep
Do I hope,do I wait,do I wait
My Love please come back to me
Please come back to me

Who will comfort me
You say you,but I can't find you
even when your next to me
Why did you stand so stern next to me in
our beginning
What has changed
My soul,spirit,and tears are the same
just filled with more years and experience
You encourage me and say you will never leave me or forsake me,
but God promised that
And I have been bruised with such pain of your absence
Being alone and together is a slow death of the heart
No more empty promises
I want your word,your personal truth
Because I need our love to be built on trust
And I can't believe without truth
I have learned you can't be my everything,
no matter how bad I yearn,ache,and desire
But you have a part to play and you must practice
It all depends on if you really love me,
if you do...show me.
Loving is more than the good or even the bad
it is about building a life together.
So show me...who will comfort me

Could you love me when I laugh,
Could you love me when I'm daft?
Could you love me when I cry,
Could you love me when you don't know why?
Could you love me when I don't feel pretty,
Could you love me when I want your pity?
Could you love me when I feel pain,
Could you love me when you feel the same?
Could you love me when I love you,
Could you love me and love me true?

Being alone.
Loneliness longer than a breath.
Crying without sound.
Tis' a slow death for thine soul.

Why do you look at me that way?
You know I can no longer stay.
You thought you could simply lie
and I wouldn't question the why's.
You played the Actor who did care
and with my heart you were not fair.
You would leave her then come to me,
Acting like it was just me and you and you were free.
How could you look me straight in my eyes,
knowledge of your misleading disguise.
You broke my heart, almost broke me.
At first I did not feel free,
At the end I'm glad I stood my ground,
And still to this day I found,that to my heart you are still bound.

A divine insanity consumes my soul
Showing colors I can barely behold
My eyes see the seas of possibility
Yet fighting master of doubt in its own committee
My thoughts are not my own
I look to a higher throne
Yet my darkness lingers
Fire destroy leaving nothing but cinders
Freedom and ******* has its fight
Crying for sanctuary in the light
Images swirl around my head
Looking at the scars and how they bled
The fire burns in a depth of a blackhole
Days and years dance and how they toll
The insanity speaks the only truth
Confessing,revealing,the only proof

I do not want to hurt anymore,
I want to be free of this burden,
I want to tell my body what for,
To be healed all of a sudden.

I want to walk and run,
Complete and free,
To do more and then some,
I just want to be.

They do not understand,
How could they?
The pain there to stand,
Scared to what to say.

Wanting someone to care,
Feeling much with their heart,
Not alone to bear,
Ready to make a start.

To be there in my need,
Accept me where and who I may be,
Spirit to Spirit standing in my stead,
In never leaving or saying goodbye to me.

Where do I go to get more of you,my dreams or my reality?
In my dreams I,me,you,we can be anything,go anywhere
Alas,in reality your touch overwhelms my senses,
my soul and what makes up my soul; my mind,will,and my emotions
When we have no provisions and we are impoverished of our wishes and whims
We dream and travel through reflection to go to our beautiful Ireland,where the music
plays on the wind and the water crashes against the glorious bluffs
With reality we can dance on love's tender air,where I float and go nowhere because your strong chiseled arms keep me close
Oh,my Love I cannot choose,just like I have no choice whether or not to love you
I will just be your joyful Bride to live my life with you in my awesome reality and my faith filled dreams

Oh my soul I am weary
tired of the fear and doubt
How can I be free
My past is the prison of my mind
The shackles grow thick with unbelief
My back is prostrated with pain
Please...I want to believe
I don't want to be afraid any longer
Jesus save me I'm drowning
I hold my hand out
I want to believe
I need to believe
My faith is fragile
But my hope is child like
Save me Lord
Save me.

I thought the pain of not being respected by my peers was the worst
Until I met Social Media
She is a selfish dictator
Dictating who I should be,who I need to be
Telling me in every moment I am not good enough
Now if I get praise then I am elated,in such madness I feel accepted for my personal moment
Then the next day comes and I have to prove myself all over again
I am a blank slate,time for my begging
Social Media you have ****** my moisture dry in the deepest of my ligaments and bones
Who do you think you are?
How dare you tell me who I am?
You know nothing...nothing at all
To live ones life in constant expectation
left wanting to be liked,even appreciated for your work
Are you a photographer,writer,singer,lover of the Arts that have given you such joy
Artists of our past put out their work every 6 months to a year or even years
And we are expected to come up with something magical everyday,multiple times a day...again I scream,"Madness!"
I have been a people pleaser my whole life.
Beginning my life yelling at the adults,"Look at me,look at me!"
I grow tired of this impossible grind
Weariness is my comfort(how twisted)
Forget this,forget them all
I am going to go read a book now

Past memories burn my day
Pondering ignites the tears
A black mark against white paint
Choices encompass my mind
The why’s sing their song
Help is my hearts cry
Can the God of Heaven heal me
Prostrate I scream my life’s blood
Light begins the war with the darkness
Peace begins its roots
A spark of hope comes alive
Future again has no more power
Moments are love letters to the soul
To live now is great,and to live later is to falter

Feeble in this heartbreak,unable to move
My limbs paralyzed by my fear
I need help,but cannot raise my hand
Darkness is a king I never crowned
I scream in such perfect silence
Homeless in search of a home in you
Breathless longing of a glimmer of peace
Can you save me from the mire and the clay
Of the buried remains of an innocence stolen
There,I can see a flame in the storm of my spirit
My emotions swirling in the power of your hands
Can you save me? Please I pray thee,save me

I am your Bride,you are my groom
without you I cannot face our bed room
it is the place we laugh,love,and fight
Walking hand in hand it feels so right
The sunshine warms my skin and your lips
across my neck I love your finger tips
Shall we run across the summer meadow
even out of breath my heart feels so mellow
They way you look at me that way
you my Love have nothing to say
Yet your voice is music to my ears
and when I am anxious you embrace me against my fears
We will grow older together
being able to hold against any weather
Be my Love and I will always be yours
can we dance one more time on our floors
I will not live this life without you
you hold me to this earth like glue
One day the dirt will hold our form
this I ask and nothing more
To be hand and hand in the eternal flame
Always so thankful that I took your name

Lord,I am so tired.
Body aches from the pain of disappointment and fear.
I wish I could be there with You and not here.
Last year, was so close,so close to touch,
But You wanted me here,for me here their was so much.
I don't want to drown anymore in the pain of my doubt,
Just tell me please what my life is about.
I want to be loved,
with hands of purity that are gloved.
I pray O' Father heal my heart,
from the hands that abused me,yes heal me for their part.
I need You now,I have to have Your healing Hand
to heal me of that word "victim," heal me of that burned brand.
Redeem me Lord of my life and it's scar,
reminding me You are so close,and never,ever,very far.

Lateness of night,the earliness of morning
where the twine meet between stars and dawn
I feel the ******* of fear and anxiety that won't
leave willingly.
Where is my armor and my weapons to fight,
even being girded,I feel so lost to the Art of War.
The heart beats,the blood flows,eyes are dry
my body is at peace...
then a big bang of creation of ******* of peace to panic
and terror begins to lord over me...soul and body to become
my Master.
Control lost,dignity shattered,the Master takes over,
my body overtaken with fits of puppetry,the fear ravages my psyche,
I am losing myself.
God Almighty hear the piercing cry of the violent silence,
help me for I am helpless,hopeless to return my sanity,
the peace I had possessed.
Fear cuts me and I bleeding out hope...
Stop this chaos of flinging limbs without knowledge of it's humanity.
Dear Jesus hear my pain for it speaks from the grave that should be empty because You took my place.
Fear and its legion try to resurrect the old man and it's sins that are gone by your love.
Fear was my name but You gave me a new name
speak it over me so I can fight one more battle,this one,
the war I leave to You.
Permeate my being with Light to illuminate all the fear torn darkness.
As I shiver down to my bones,I wait in hope and childlike tears to be redeemed and saved by your loving hand just one more time.

Not listening, you don't hear,
Hating this about you,in so much fear.
To make a relationship you must communicate,
Without it you'll meet an awful fate.
Will you understand, will you see,
You need this to really love me.
I know it's not just you,
Because I am to blame too.
We must work and work hard,
Talking to myself as this Bard.
It's going to take effort and lots of time,
But My Love, I am willing to do it for you to be mine.

Believe...
I want to...
Believe.
I yearn to dream,without the nightmares.
I want to experience color in all it's depth.
I desire to fly,to escape,
to be free.
I want to love and be loved back with more than was given.
I hope to sleep to sleep in peace where my pain can't touch me.
I cry to the expanse of the starry heavens for hope,for hope to be my skin wrapping me from within.
I yearn,dream,want,desire,hope,and cry... to Believe.
I must take a leap of Faith,so I can...Believe.

Hello?
How are you?
Are you them?
The light to eliminate the darkness
to take care of me when I hurt
The One to wipe the sweat from my brow
To absorb the tear drops in your finger tips
Embracing me when I am afraid
Encourage me when I am low
Hand in hand,hand in mine
Fingers completely intertwined
My spirit to your spirit God carves into time
Your my home through out eternity
Remember I through the light of the stars
And the courage of my bravery
It all started with a “Hello.”

Being sick, isn't it lovely,
Sore, scratchy, throat,
Body feels like I'm stuck in a moat.
Boy I feel great more chicken soup please,
No... I want popsicle's, why am I hurting in my knees?
Please take care of me I say with doe eyes,
Who was the Knuckle Head who gave me this dripping surprise?
You? Husband? Oh...by me you will meet your demise.
But before that rub my back and get a new revise.

Where can I go
Where can I hide
The fear is at my door
There is a crack of darkness
It desires to envelop me
Falling to my knees
I cry out my pain
I see a rushing wind of light
hides me in sight
Dear God its You
Take me Lord
Keep me Jesus
Hold me dear,heart and soul
For You alone are my hiding place

Holding tears of pain in my hands
my hands weak by the magnitude
of its power
looking to your grace to uphold my frame
for weakness has been my meal of transgression
without you I cannot venture onward
be my fortress to hold my fear in place
to be encompassed in light and glory
caressing me in Your devoted affection
Be my love,be my love,always be my love

Dreaming,dreaming,I dream of this ethereal place
where I do not merely exist,I live
All my tears are wiped away,
pain is no longer my companion
I am finally free,free to be who I was created to be
and I am loved for it
******* is no longer my name
free to walk without shackles
Peace is in the land of my heart,war no longer has a place
I smile at you and you smile back
our eyes no longer possess borders
finally we are connected,nothing can separate us
My clothing is my glory and I am embraced
with the song of Your love
Let the world become a dream I begin to forget because
I am finally awake
Do not weep for me Child for truly I am in a better place
I am home.

What am I thinking?
Nothing good only bad
put myself down,these are the weapons I have.

I am so weary,so tired
must fight,fight for me
why should I,what could I turn out to be

Let the mirror be my dictator
people are my judge and jury
if they could only see the shame of my fury

They believe they know me
I feel I have something to give
if I could just get a chance to breath,to live

Wisdom says don't listen to their doubt
Revelation speaks strength and hope
Knowledge can give me power against them so I can cope

I know I am not alone,you feel it too
We can rip their lies and deception at the seam
Beholding the Light and learning to dream

Impossible.That is what it feels like.
How can darkness be this dark.
I can see the Light,but the enemy tells me I cannot reach it.
I feel this sinking feeling deep inside me.
I am so scared,can you understand?
Am I the only one who feels alone?
I feel weak,tired,hopeless...
My emotions swirl around my soul giving me a feeling
no words can describe.
But I still see the Light,I hear the Voice that says I am not alone,
I feel the pain, yet I know deep,deep, inside me their is a higher truth than my dark signings,there is Hope,Faith,Love.
Please show me how to get out of my own way.
I need Truth, I not only need that Light, I hunger and thirst for it.
I need that Light to envelop everything that I am
giving me what I have always yearned for, to fill the emptiness
and heal my scars.

Your hand in mine
Heart beats with time
Sunlight encompasses your eyes
Curvature of your muscles,the perfect size
Embracing my vulnerability
You the Poet,a romantic ability
Lingering in your kiss
When your gone,your presence I miss
So blessed to be in love with you
You & I Darling forever & always true

Light... I need some light,
Smile, a child's smile,
Joy, to possess my entire being,
Peace, to make negative thoughts stop racing,
Faith, to keep me chasing Hope,
Hope, to keep me chasing life,
And Love to be Loved.

Innocence, the glorious array we are born with.
Their is no impossible with our Innocence.
Want to fly? You can.
High in the sky,with the birds,and the clouds,
looking down at your world,but you want more...
Break the atmosphere,make the stars your friends,
the planets your domain,the universe is your backyard.
I am a superhero.I help the helpless and the hurting,
their is nothing that I can't do!
I want a pony,so my dog and I go on amazing adventures.
I must protect the human race against evil,
so I can move you with the powers of my mind.
I can dance,sing,build,draw,I am an Artist and I am so good.
My works are shown at the exhibit called,"The Fridge".
Santa does not just come for Christmas,I can ride in his
sleigh anytime of the year.
God is my best Friend and He loves me so much.
Their is nothing I can't do.
What about now?I am an adult,what happens to my Innocence?
I hold it close,and tell no one...
I am still a singer,dancer,Artist.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
My Innocence becomes hope and grows into faith.
I am still a superhero and God the Father is still my best friend,
and my Innocence...I hold close to my heart and I dream.

Invisible,is that what I am?
Can you really see me, my smiles, my tears?
Why can't you love me, am I unlovable?
I want to care,I want to love,I want to feel...
but feel no more pain,no more empty, no more aching,
aching to see a light of empathy in your eyes.
I hold my heart...tight, I have to protect it.
I can't be vulnerable, though I long for it.
Can't I take the masks off and be me and loved?
What do I have to do?
Who do I need to be?
Dear God...please,please...I just want to be loved.