I the Poet,
Seeker of worlds,
Light and darkness,I possess both,
Looking to see,
Listening to be heard,
Feeling to be loved,
To understand the silence,
Maestro to my music
Ink liveth in my pen
I,the Poet

You walk in the room and my breath disappears
I can't help but watch your every move
Our song is everything we do together
Do you even notice me?
Does my beauty put you in a trance or is my beauty nothing to you?
I adore our conversations,I could listen to your voice for hours
and I have when we talk in the midnight hours to morning
falling asleep on the phone,I feel so close and so far from you
Am I ever in your mind's eye more than a friend?
Do you dream of me like I do of you,what do I have to do for you to notice me?
You are Man and I am Woman,what else must I do to gain your attention
Being your friend is the hardest thing I have to do
Because I can't imagine you not in my life,I need to just let you go
but I have no idea how

Weakness is my enemy
Control is my vice
the illusion of protection
guarding my heart for out of it flow the springs of life
How do I guard my heart?
I cannot take the pain hurting me,the little girl
I hide in my mind's eye in a room with the thickest door
sitting in the chair of fear,possessing the scratch marks of my pain
the spotlight showing my vulnerability
I am that little girl,how can I protect myself
Outward I show the skin so thick
nothing can penetrate,I am God-like you can't hurt me
But if you had special vision you would see the world that is my burden
tears like showers coming down like a summer Southern rain paint my face
I have lost count of the knives that have pierced my back
Where are the truthful,faithful,caring, and empathetic
Are they a rare species that is extinct,or have they never lived?
This is not truthful,for I possess those gifts
and when I love I love with all I have,all that I am
why can't I find someone like that
I don't want to be hard,I yearn to be soft and tender
Friend-foe, Lover-Ex, I just want to love
So are you out there,have I met you yet?
Giving my heart I want and I want you, you to keep and protect it
My Eternity,keep my heart

I AM the same yesterday, today,and forever
is what you imparted
and You are so much more than that
You Lord are the very beat of my heart
You overwhelm my senses
and I respond with tears and awe
I don't deserve anything
I am nothing,am I not?
I hate my reflection
that cannot be me,please,not me
Yet I hear the melody of Your song Lord
sing to me my God,My Savior,My Lord,my yearning
Leave me not,change me,please change me
make me beauty,make me glory,make me love
Where the darkness claws and my insecurity rages
You give me hope...Your my hope
changing me to pure innocence
leave me never for Your my Everything

Show me Dearest your love
Leave me not alone
for tears fall in my exhale
Hold me in your embrace
Can you make me happy
or do I love love and not you
Am I alone per chance or choice
My mind is a race that I never win
I must let go

Aching in the ocean of loneliness.
Does anyone truly understand?
Being stuck in time on a loop
in a sea of people, feeling
even more lonely in their presence.
How in the world on this planet earth
of billions, how do I feel so alone?
I long for an understanding look,
an embrace of friendship.I read and watch
stories unfold of a hand of friendship
always extended standing by their side through
all the bruises,pain, and tears,yet
their faithfulness is tested and they are
always there for their friends.
King Solomon wrote the proverb that
there is a friend who is closer than a brother...
I long for that closeness.
I long to celebrate true love in friendship,
where you walk together through hardship
and you see two set of foot prints walking
together in the sand.
I look to the Heavens to please answer my cry.
I need a true friend.

I am so lonely for your smile
No one can make me laugh like you
Loving your eyes sparkle with laughter
I am so lonely for you

I am lonely for your arms
They are my comfort through my blessings and trials
They are my refuge and my fortress
I am so lonely for you

I am lonely for your faith
You believe in me no matter my sins or failings
Your belief believes I can do all and no army can stop me
My Love,I am so lonely for you

My eyes long for your embrace
Your eyes speak they may know
I must quiet my body
So it cannot share another thought
Dreaming of you and I and the perfect night
The stars shone brightly and illuminate
Your curved lips and your strong hands
Could I dare tell you what my heart whispers
I shall be silent and long in pain
Forever I will long in pain

I am so tired,so weak,so fragile
how will I take this next breath
So much to do and with what strength
why does everyone seem stronger than me

God help this weakness that feels apart of my bones
my blood cries out for someone to avenge me
I try to be good,to care,to love
but why do I feel so alone

Can anyone hear my silent cry
the weeping that lasts through the night
Awaiting joy to come in the morning
can anyone see me,can anyone hear me

Am I really alone,or is it all in my head
do they care and can they carry me
Carry me through my valley,with all it's hills
Someone hear and understand,so I may feel loved again

The trees and flowers bloom,
so do I for you.
Spring breathes a sigh of relief,
crowned with power and a loving belief.
That this is the time for lovers
with passion brimming over.
Smell her fragrance,the intoxicating scent,
wrapping around us making me enamored and content.
The winter season grew cold to ice my heart,
to freeze me,so I would fall apart.
Thank God for the sun and it's light,
empowering me so I could fight.
Thank you Spring for your season,
giving me enlightened reason
to work on my commitment for my love,
gaining wisdom from my Father above.
Spring you rejuvenate me every year.
I wish you could stay ever near.

Yearning for his attention
I sing my beautiful song
revealing some of my vibrant colors
not all them because he is not mine yet

Why does he use her?
For his own loneliness or to make me jealous,or both
Why?
Longing for his touch

It is not my nature to play these games
I just want the two of us to become one
Live our loves together
Stop the cold & be warm with me

Make life simple,admit your love for me
Her hand does not fit your hand
But mine fits perfectly
My song & your song makes a lovely melody

How long can I wait,it is growing in time to fly to warmer shores
Behold you are creating wounds where hope had it's home
Indeed it is time to make a choice
Choose your doubt or your faith with mine

I stand on the top branch
I sing the last of my melody
I set off to take flight
One last look at you I await your answer...

I  need so to be...me.
But I can get more attention and love
with this mask.
I can mold myself to you,
to be what you need.
Never mind my misery.
You come first always,remember?
I bury myself deeper than any corpse,
yet my breath is shown in the coldness of your heart.
Loneliness is a cloak I would joyfully rip off and bury
in the depth of my memory,
and when it would try to surface, it would be
blinded by the light of the truest Spirit of Love.
The mask would burn,
then Loneliness would leave forever more,because
I was loved for an amazing reason... I was loved for Me.

Alone,I am uneasy to be alone,
I need a true friend to help end this loneliness,
Can anyone truly understand my aching inside,
How I pine for someone to be close to.
Trusted enough to hold my heart,
Loving me so, they never part,
My Soul tells me to be brave,
But it is hard not to cave into the pressure.
I must think like my Heavenly Father thinks,
Hope,Faith,and Believing in my Father,
that He will never leave me or forsake me,
that He always hears and heeds my cry,
that He will wrap me in His infinite mercy,grace,and love,
Strength in that will get me through this night,through the darkness,
That in truth...I am never alone.

One day I found my mirror of old
the girl stood now as woman
Memories swirled in time past
Adorning my face,excitement in my heart
mindful of the night,would I meet my soulmate
Dreaming in the mirror,time was a tool in my hand
seeing my wedding day and a future of mirth
but truth did not mirror dreams
life harder creating fears
Torment in my present and my sinking regret
some of my dreams did not beget
Found love and so much pain
Looking in the mirror,do I dare to dream once more
Holding on to my faith and what life could be
Reflect love to those you adore
To fight for that life and so much more

The reason for the season is my Lord,but
what makes my heart warm with love on Christmas
is your embracing love for me
I love you more than all the times you've caressed me added together
I listen to Christmas music while absorbing the crackle of the logs in the fire,dancing to the music we make to each heart beat

My Love you are my Christmas, without you their is no food,no song, no present that can take your place
I dreamed for so long to find someone like you or rather just you
to love me so deeply that I am filled and I no longer feel empty
You are and always will be my Christmas Wish

'

I was young and alone
Needed the piece to my puzzle
Didn’t know what I desired
Until there was you
I felt complete
And I was frightened
Not knowing how to love divine
I needed God’s direction
To help me leap for the sky
I was scared he would leave
Like those saying,I love you
Loved so much
Imbalance in my heart
I spoke up,opened up
His love surrounded me
I felt whole for the first time
Years later we have changed
But our love fills every star with light
I’m more than I ever dreamed
My love grows with each day
My Love,Sweetheart,and Honey
You are my Dear

Do you miss me...
I miss you more than the oceans would miss the moon.
I remember you,but more than memories,more than thoughts,
more than feelings,
I miss you with my spirit,
from everlasting to everlasting.
Your soft mother like eyes,your voice that soothed every heartache,
your soft thin skinned hands that were more gentle than a deer with its new born baby doe.
Through my child's heart I was overwhelmed with your beautiful,
treasure filled acceptance of me.
Who I was and who I was going to be...simply me.
You helped me feel true loving kindness,laughter, and awe
of the world and it's earth filled goodness.
You were my favorite book that came to life
and your story showed me how to treat and respect mankind with
an open hand of giving.
Please miss me even though you are covered in glory,
wait for me as I yearningly wait for you.
I love you...always have,always will.

The darkness of the void seemed seamless
Loneliness was the best friend I did not pursue,
he chased me down enclosing me in his *******
I screamed,wept,and wailed
Loneliness leave me be and let me breathe
impossible to find one who is perfect for me
Looking to look yet I do not see
Find me my love,find me
and death to loneliness,forever leave me be

I was afraid and scared and alone.
No one their to comfort me,I
was only a little girl with no one to look up to.
Then the one that broke up my family also
brought me light,Your Light.
Your Word said You loved me,
created me to fellowship with you.
I was bad,ugly,sinful not worth anybody's time
especially not God's...I was unworthy.
But you spoke truth in my heart,my soul,my spirit.
I had not cried for so long,then You broke the gates.
You loved me...me.
I did not have to earn Your Love,You gave it so freely.
You wanted me,I never felt like anybody wanted me,but You did.
The pain,the abuse was so deep Lord some how You could penetrate
the walls I built by heartbreak and such unspeakable pain,
and You began loving me,healing me.
You made me feel special.
That I was worth the breath that lived inside of me.
Jesus You saved my life,I would have took it and looking back what
a waste that would have been.
It is not always easy,but You are so worth it.
Thank you for loving me,when no one saw me.
You are my heart...I love you.

Beauty you are
Love is your blood
I Am is Your Name
Your Hand is mighty,
yet gentle to every single tear
You war with death
yet You breathe peace
You make me laugh
moved to tears so I can weep and wail
the water cleanses my soul
You make me feel
Overwhelming my senses,
not one devoid of emotion

Take me with You
I want to go to Paradise
I despise this world and it's way
Restore my innocence
I want to believe again
I want to love...
I need to...

When life shows the ugliness of Man
we must find and present the Beauty of Man.
When facing our fears it does not mean
we no longer feel afraid,
it simply means we must take a leap of faith and courage
and hold on dearly to the Light of Hope.
Fear wins when we give up.
If we find ourselves in a moment of losing to fear,
take a deep breath,forgive ourselves,look to Heaven for strength,
allow the Light of Hope to raise us up,
dust ourselves off and begin walking again
on this Path we call life.

In waiting for you
You made my dream come true
Alone would no longer be my label
Happy forever would be our fable
With every rotation of the earth,I would be loved
Answered prayers floating high above
Till you decimated our joined glory
Once upon a time was no longer our story
I loved you more and more everyday
Stilling my voice and I had so much to say
Pain was your weapon and you had much skill
Articulating my misery increases what I feel
Please Lord stop my suffering so I can sleep
And may they feel the fullness of torture so deep
Knowing they held something true from above
And now they have lost,nevermore to feel love

My inner self thirsts for the Living God
yet my spirit struggles with the darkness
Why are you cast down,O my inner self
you moan and weep over what you cannot change
the darkness tries without ceasing to cover my light
for it cannot darken my light,for my light comes from You
Weary my form is,it needs Your rest,calming my tears
Why are you cast down,O my broken heart
Hope in God,trust in faith,long for love
Wait expectantly for He Who is the help of my countenance
Who restores my inner self to the Everlasting to Everlasting Light

Your words cut like a double edge sword
Forgiveness comes like rain,that I cannot afford
Draining me of my love because of the pain
Making me crazy, making me insane
You my Love are becoming a bane
I know your angry and you want your due
But I was not the One that hurt you
So I don't deserve your boiling point
I want us again to be a counterpoint
I miss you,I miss us
I don't want to fuss
I just want the two to be one
Crying lasts only the night,but joy comes with the morning sun

Regret has been the bane of my existence,
It has guarded me with a gilded fence.
Looking back into my past,
Wishing I would have been in a cast,
As the leading lady of my story,
Where I could show my enlightened glory,
And not the constant darkness of my mistakes,
Making the right choices would I make.
There would be no wrong,
In my Life Song.
But Mankind has a melody of good and bad,
Happy and sad,
And if I live in my past, I will miss out living in the moment,
And I am not willing to continue being my own opponent.
I will learn and I will try,
Beginning to learn about the Why.

Trials,tribulation,hurts,anguish.pain.
How do we live through these and stay sane?
Parents are suppose to supply us with weapons to fight,
but I had no such teaching,how do I make problems right?
I am going through so much and it is so hard.
Understand humanity-myself,like the Great Bard.
How to be the adult with all the solutions.
I want it to stop...need a resolution.

So I have to believe,take a leap of faith.
Not walk around like I am some kind of wraith.
Stop looking behind,straining forward.
Knowing someday.end of life,finally go homeward.
Dwell in the secret Place of the Most High,
Being shown that God will never lie.
His Word is a Lamp unto my feet,a Light unto my path.
God+His Word+Me equals perfect math.
Doing better than making it stop and their will be a resolution.
Therefore, I will have hope because it is God the Father who is my solution.

The fear broke off my breath
My body frozen in weakness
Is this my time for death
Seeing my world with bleakness
With a screaming soul
I scream God’s Name
Needing to be whole
Rescue me and this pain
I can’t do this alone
Necessity is my thunder
Enrapture to your throne
To never be asunder
You come in like a flood
Loving me ever and ever
For sacrifice and your blood
Never Your Hand to sever
Healing to all my scars
Giving I my hand
Embraced by all the stars
For fear, now I can stand

Is it possible,can it be?
Wholeness,all...of...me.
Spirit and Soul,
Can the Light really make me whole?
The darkness feels like it possesses me,
Can Your Light really set me free?
Pain has been a resented friend,
Delusion speaking that their is no end.
In the distance, the still small Voice of Hope
Lovingly speaks,"You can do more than just cope."
Can I hope, can I believe, can I pray,
Just a seed being sown today,
Allowing sunlight to expand it's ray.
Rain comes to water my ground,
Impatient in my wanting to be safe and sound.
Finally it is my Harvest day,
Reaping my destination that Wholeness is on it's way.

The feelings of light and dark in my soul
Swirling thoughts that have stole
The beautiful stars hidden in the twilight
hiding the powerful light
that could illuminate my silence
a prisoner no more behind the enemies fence
A virtuous Power bestowed upon me an anointed pen
Giving me an understanding of my goodness and sin
to light the clouded looking glass to see the depth of my nature honoring my anointed pen to begin the healing in my venture
This pen opens the hurts,wounds,and pain
helping me from ashes to beauty,never staying the same
Behold I see more of this looking glass,I don't have to live in the fear
I just have to be brave,of great courage and stand and fight right here

We are one
we are complete,I am complete,I was complete

Anguish blackens my soul
pain inhabits every tear
alone I am no longer whole
the shadows fill me with fear

I use to like wearing black
but not today,I long for a joyful shade
I stand immobile with the wailing at my back
staring at this casket,hoping my memory will fade

How can my lungs breathe
all these questions,more than a few
anger keeping me alive,how I seethe
when I long to be with you

Freezing hand of dirt,a thrown rose
shadows of yesterday etched in a thought
how do I get through this,I don't know
laying on the ground with you,I can't be fought

Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking,
When their are clouds in the sky,you'll get by,
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you...

I dream of your face
Need the warmth of your touch
To get you is such a race
Waiting for you is to much
Watching my youth expire
Praying for you is the great chase
This fear is a burning fire
I will hold you,this I proclaim
You'll be mine this is true
Sophia will be your beautiful name
And forever and always I'll love you

Spirit of Wisdom I call out your name
will you sing your song to me and soothe my fears
Fear, alas he knows me,from seed to tree
working hard to confound my limbs
to break down my branches
O Great Spirit I wept a melody only You can comprehend
The wind blows through my leaves
and I am barely holding on
I feel myself falling,falling to the ground
I look to the Heavens to restore my grandeur
or at least a moment, a quiet moment for my end
But my spirit would not die
I became apart of that ground
my blood going through the veins of Father Earth
creating me,molding me,becoming apart of that tree again
Another chance to breath each season in,to hang on
and drink the mighty brook that flows next to my trunk
Wisdom I hear her now,now I am ready
Fear now he has a proper foe
being the mighty oak, I am my own defense

Tonight I need something...
something more.
I need to dance in the starlight,
I need the stars to put the light back in my eyes.
I need the sky to clothe my bare skin,
giving warmth to my body yet showing
the deep blue in my green eyes.
I want the stars to help me fly again
giving flight to my reborn innocence
seeing the world only in the reflection
of the North Star to always be my compass.
It does not fall or fade
always burning bright just for me.
Tonight I see the stars in God's hand,
the Artist of my favorite Masterpiece.
I need the stars to give me just one more breath,
so I can feel...something.

There is a Story in my soul
but I have no idea where to go
The story fights against my will
so much to think,to feel
Heart's desire is to write
but with fear and anxiety do I fight
Comes down to who I am
feeling like my will is out on the lamb
I need Someone to be my lead
so I can rest and think in the mead
Story let me know you and you me
so my will and soul can finally be free

Desiring a child,
softness of skin
revealing the tenderness
of their hand in mine.
Stroking the beauty of innocence
that of yet is not tainted by
the sins of this present world.
Overtaken by the righteous indignation
of protection,
possessing the fierceness of the lioness of her cub,
not allowing any evil into there world.
Mother, breathing strength to encompass
the purity and virtue of her beautiful baby.
Rocking in the darkness of night,but it is
distinguished by the light of those eyes,
looking up at you while giving them warmth and
sustenance.
Please Lord,bless my womb so I may bear a child.
I want to be overwhelmed with love for them.
Compelled to mother their needs,
while being permeated by their love for me.
Please Lord bear me with a strong will,
while I wait for my Precious child.

Working on me,
So I can be,
more than I am.
Stronger not weaker,
Listen to my Heavenly Father, not the deceiver,
Destined to be amazing,
Always to be gazing,
At this beautiful life.
Be a Giver,
Be a Lover,
Fill my Spirit, my heart, with Faith,
Not the darkness should I bath,
But be clean in the Light,
Giving thanks, that I am not alone.

What did I do
what did I say
what could I have said
why did you go away

I loved you more than words can give
you were amazing to me
you were so beautiful
nurturing just enough to leave me wanting

You were my hero
you were so strong
you could make me laugh tears
I loved you more than words can give

Abandonment became my world
the pain nurtured my fears
people were there only to twist the knife deeper
and increase my baggage

Family is supposed to love
I have seen their world myself
Why was I unlovable
Why did you choose selfishness over blood

I needed you,I wanted you
but someone has found me
so I want to say goodbye to all my wounds
allowing his love to carry my baggage and heal my broken heart

When we are happy,
We live in the Light,
So why would we leave,
when we are hurting,
and make home in the darkness.
When we are aching and longing
for the Light.

Do you see me or do you see her?
She looks like me,
She moves like me,
Speaks like me,
But she is not me.
I hate her so much,
Hate the life she can touch.
She is the darkness,
Can I make a wish to make her go,
Day to day I must work to tell her no.
She is the old man and I am the new,
Living in the Light of God,that is the glue,
To keep centered,really centered on You.
This is not easy,for it is hard,
Speaking this to you, being the Bard.
Heart to heart to let you know,
you my friend are not alone.
We are all broken with two sides,
forever taken in the bye and bye,
I work on the one with the glimmer of Light,
And waiting for the other one to lose their might.

I am so lacking in the truth,
to find out why you did what you did?
I need answers, not the vacant winds
that inhabit my soul.
Why did you do what you did,
how did I cause this aching pain I feel?
I took care of you,I adored you,
I met your needs,yet this knife in my back cannot
become unhinged.
In days past you looked at me with pools of adornment,
now just discontent.
Can you,will you ever change your mind,
and the song becomes ours,the blessed duet.
I long for you and your warm touch,
is their not one note of our song stuck in your mind?
Now I am alone,breathing just for one.
I miss the sound of your heartbeat next to mine,
Lord, help me to learn, how to say goodbye.