Whirlwinds
And hurricanes
Scribbled into half-spoken lines,
What do you want to find today?
A box of sweets,
A bone-sunken tale,
Or some heart-clenching rhymes?
I'll never be anything more
Than what I'm going to be,
But right now I can't find anything to write,
So I guess I'll just wait and see.

As the world came crashing down
I couldn't help but wonder
At the beauty of its wholeness.
As I cursed the rain for soaking through my mind,
I laughed because I knew it would fall.
There's a terrible but beautiful way this lonely little sphere
Sitting in an endless dance takes all this in stride.
It sings and it dances and it twirls and it spins,
And it never stops.
Not for heartbreak,
Not for anger,
Not for loss.
I stood there and looked at it
Amidst the downpour and the flood,
And couldn't help but wonder at the beauty
Of being free from the ground.
It would never fall,
It would never fly,
It would never feel the seemingly too-close
Emotions,
But until the end of time,
It will always
Keep on
Dancing.

The deepest scars come from words left unsaid,
Everything yearns for freedom.
Even words,
So the longer they're kept from it...
The heavier they weigh.
Do not underestimate
Their destruction.

Forgetting is like falling out of love
In the way that it destroys the precious few memories
That build you up.
Remember the parts of you that are
Loved.

From the moment we start living,
From the moment we take our first breath,
We fight.
Such a tiring fight life gives us,
But how fruitful and capturing joy can be
When we finally rest,
If only for a moment.
The world will keep spinning,
So we fight for it to spin in our direction,
So that maybe after we leave,
Someone will remember the one soul out of billions of others
That fought for them.
This is a trying life,
It's cruel and swift and so very, very beautiful.
And often we fall and break and scar ourselves beyond recognition,
And we lose.
And sometimes losing is too much.
Sometimes we can't fight anymore.
Sometimes we lose sight of just what glorious jewel we've kept,
All this time.
But this life is a cursed blessing,
It's a fight.
And it begins,
From the moment we start living.

Show me the indigo blue fade the sky gives you as it says
Goodbye,
And the teal-colored gems
That glow like jewels without glitter,
As if they knew they needed no glamour
To make that inner light beautiful.
Show me that you understand me when I say
That I think the sky is such a fair thing,
Just trying to make the sun and moon get along.
It saves the stars for the moon so it wasn't too dark
And it saves the life for the sun so it won't get too lonely.
But of course the sun always bids farewell by invading the moon's space,
What, with all it's bright, beautiful colors.
They'll fight every dawn just because the sun is so clingy.
The poor moon...
(I think she likes her anyway)

Pain is not a metal I like to treasure,
But I store it in my heart
Since it needs a place to stay.
I can’t bury it or run away,
Since I’ve already looked it in the eyes.
I’ve given it my soul,
Unrested and Unbreakable
As fragile as a moment
But as strong as an emotion,
A quiet storm unable to use its tongue
To tell anyone what’s going on.
I’m lost in the sky,
Just trying to find a haven where I can pour out the sounds,
The songs
And the rhythms.
Trying to let go of these ghosts
With a pencil and paper
But I know that I’ll walk this road alone,
With only my ghosts and my thoughts.
I know I’ll forever remain
Haunted.

I remember the first time
My demon came knocking.
My brick house turned to straw
In front of his never-ending gaze
And I screamed
Because I couldn’t recognize the one place I called home.
I didn’t know what to do
I couldn’t breathe in the dark
I could see mile-deep cracks echo through my heart
As I tried to patch it up with tape.
I could see the dark swallow me whole
Without anyone to save me
And I could see...
Then it’d fade.
I’d be able to see through
The demon's eyes.
And I’d be able to see it’s curious gaze was not one
That wanted to leave me dead.
I’d be sad,
Knowing its secret truth,
But I knew that I could breathe.
And then I’d sing so some flowers would grow
And heal my heart’s small dent.
I’d look around
And I’d be fine.
I would face the dark and apologize
For mistaking it for a beast,
Then I’d snuggle up in my blankets
And fall to sleep.
I know I’ll wake up
When it’s time for me to leave.
But until then,
I’ll be here to say that our demons aren’t our ends.
I’ll be here.

I had my heart broken,
Not by anyone in particular,
It just accidentally slipped out of their fingers.
I sat there in the dark
Hoping to find
Some solace in the shadows that
Danced with the too-bright lights,
But I guess I didn’t want to get rid of the lonely,
It was all I had at the time.
I convinced myself that this cut was just a bruise,
It would heal in time,
Besides,
Other people have scars,
I’ll get over this little ache.
I turned away from the laughing sun,
Finding a comfortable silence in the shade.
I sat there till my bones grew tired,
And decided I didn’t want to fight.
I didn’t blame the ones
Who couldn’t see me in the dark,
I could go on without them.
I didn’t need anyone to hold my hand.
I talked to myself in the dark shell of my mind,
And while I played hide-and-seek
I shamelessly cheated
And hid where they couldn’t find me.
And in that secret little cave
Where my chest sometimes forgot
It was supposed to be beating,
I found myself a stranger to
My own little bruised heart,
But slowly I began to see who I was
And the murky ink became clear.
I recognized the colors that mixed into
Beautiful rainbows,
And… yes, less flattering shades.
But I decided that this was good enough,
I could let go
And paint with my own little dark.
I’m an artist.

In this dark place,
Invisible vines wrap around your throat,
As your entire world is suddenly plunged
Into a darkness so silent that
It echoes through your chest like a
Quiet Earthquake.

In this dark place,
You can't hear above
The roaring silence in your head
And your heart.
Here there's a darkness so complete that you can't
Even see how shattered you are.

In this dark place,
Your demons are the only voices
You hear above the silence,
Demons of your own making.
Demons that scream because they've felt pain,
Demons that scream to be healed.

In this dark place,
You become so desperate to be free that
Even your bones become tired
From the everlasting noise that never quiets and
Demands to be freed from this hell your mind has made.

In this dark place,
Your worst fears suddenly become moot
Because the dark inside renders
Life as a past time
And death a sweet release
Because at least then it would be
Quiet.

In this dark place,
Every part of you is hurting from your
Shattered glass pieces that cloud
Your eye's window of all the love and light
That you used to see.

In this dark place,
The only thing that can heal you is
The light of sunrise when you finally
Realize that the monster-like shadows
Were just broken trees.

In this dark place,
You need a fire burn off the debris
That keeps your eyes sewn shut,
And you need a fire to heal your
Wailing demons.

In this dark place,
Only when you see with clarity can
You heal your demons and
Regrow from the scars your hear left when it
Shattered and
Learn how to heal your
Festering wounds.

In this dark place,
Once you find light again,
You can learn how to live.
You can finally see.
You can eventually heal.

In this dark place,
There is still light.

Isn’t it beautiful?
The bitter alliance between light and itself
Looks kind of like a mirror,
The flipped side of a dancing coin
That seems to wage inner wars
Like a sea
Because there were parts of itself the light thought was ugly
It was convinced that they were opposites,
That the world was made of opposites.
But really they blend
And mix.
As if despite their war
They are drawn together and mixed into
Paint.
Paint to make the world look separated and connected
All at once.

Isn’t it beautiful?
That the things we see are illusions and realities
All packed and shipped to your eyes
With a nice little bow that seems to say:
“Look at me”
That everything is so different and the same
That all we see is
Paint.
Splattered and deliberate with its imperfection on every line
That seems to guide us towards our doom.
Towards an end.
Towards a beginning.
Towards a sun split in half by the world under our feet
Lingering; beckoning,
Before heading off on its path.

Isn’t it beautiful?
That a curse is just a blessing
Because the blessing wanted to be a curse.
That a frown is just a lost smile that had no trail to follow
And went upside down trying
To find a way
Out.
That our lives are followed by death,
And the fact that death bothered to follow gives life a
Purpose.
That we’re cursed to break
When we look for things to
Fix us.
That strength is such a wonderful thing because there isn’t
Enough of it.
That in the end, all of it mixes.
Into paint.

There are so many infections here.
Nasty, ugly, cruel infections that came from open wounds that hated the way they were
Pushed aside and forgotten.
Because we forget.
We forget to look and listen rather than just see and hear.
We forget that promises are meant to be anchors and not
Chains.
And we forget because we can’t
Remember what our hearts looked like before they were broken.
And we forget to remember until
We forget forgetting.
Until we don’t know what it takes to look and listen for a way
Back.
But,
…When we start to see how to look.
…When we start to hear how to listen.
We remember.
And isn’t it beautiful?

There’s a little ghost in my heart,
We’re roommates you see,
My little shadow and I.
And when times get rough
She gives me medicine to keep the walls
From crashing down
And I give her beautiful bedtime stories
And write out her songs.
The only reason I’ve survived has been because of my
Pretty little ghost,
My lonely little shadow.
So
Why
Would you try and take her?
She’s mine.
She’s my heart,
The only beat that steadies my tune
The only real ground in the sky.
She is mine to reveal.
I guess I shouldn’t have shown her to you in the first place
But I hate that trust can be such a backstabber,
And I trusted you.
I trusted you to keep your distance,
I didn’t want you to dig so deep.
Even now she whispers that you can’t fault
Rain for falling,
Even if it is the cause of your cold.
So I won’t blame you.
But I guess that right now all I’m saying is
Please,
Leave me with my
Shadow.

The types of memories that you love the most are the ones
That will carry you on during the memories
That hurt.
Each memory that you make
Plays a part.
Even the bad ones.
The performance of hurtful memories
Are easily predicted because we've all had them
Squirming in our theater-like chests.
They will pound against your heart's walls like
They're listening to a beat that only you
Can sometimes hear,
And they will hurt.
But knowing this you must keep in mind
That our little souls have an amazing
Well of endurance,
We all can withstand so much
Because we all learn what it means to be
Human.
And being Human means knowing strength.
The strength to go on.
The strength to let go.
And the strength to fight.
We all break eventually when we hit the bottom of our Well.
But the memories of times when we could see
Brighter skies
Are the memories that will give you strength.
Let these memories give you
Hope.

It's no wonder that loud thoughts make
A wind-kissed night and
The quiet of the
Stars and the moon,
Seem
Like such great company.
I'll forever be grateful that the
Moon landed in our
Sky,
Because the night
Would be so much darker
Without it's little
Blue sun to remind us
That it hasn't
Left.
It just went down for a nap.

In your eyes you hold
A familiar but different sort of night,
It seeps through your bones and makes you tired
Without ever moving an inch.
I can see it by the way your music is turned up so loud you won’t need
To hear yourself think
And the way you’ll smile with that untouchable distance
Like you’re the only person in the world.
But unanswered questions go unasked,
I can guess the truth if you’re not ready to say it,
I’ll be here if you ever need to let go,
I’ll be here when you’re ready to forgive,
So please,
Never forget.

Trust is supposed to be treasured.
Kindness is supposed to be given.
Friends are supposed to be helped.
Love is supposed to be free.
Promises are supposed to be kept.
So...
Why
Do
Hearts
Keep
Breaking?
Why is Trust thrown away?
Why is Kindness only taken?
Why are Friends used?
Why is Love kept in chains?
Why are Promises
Broken?

If you’ve ever experienced it, you’d know that the
Most terrifying thing is Silence.
You would know that our very bones fear the never-ending
Blanket that smothers our songs and stars.
And the scary thing is not that the world has gone
Dark.
It’s that your world has.
It’s that you can’t seem to see anything within yourself
That is bright and worth
Fighting for.

Silence isn’t a sound,
It’s not the high-pitched scream of the very
Ground pushing Silence
Away.
No, it’s a feeling.
It’s the feeling of sleeping when you’re
Awake.
Like some part of you is lost within yourself just trying to
Get back to the controls.
Like even after you sleep you can’t seem to get rid of the never-ending
Tiredness that seeps into your very bones
Like the cold on a winter morning.
The Silence isn’t evil though,
It’s frightening.
It’s frightening for the people who care about the shattered heart of the
Person who fell into that Silence.
It scares them deeply because it seems
Impossible to catch someone once they’ve fallen.
Everything in our world sings songs to one another and everything around us
Because we were born to sound.
We were born to the glorious breath of laughs and
Voices and promises that
Tickle your ears if you listen hard enough.
Our world is built around the noise and clatter of emotions,
So when you can’t hear them it’s
Terrifying.

Silence does not come from nothing.
Silence is not something that comes in
And takes you away because you are
It’s plaything.
No, Silence is something ancient.
It is something that was once eternal in it’s
Darkness before something
Somehow decided to turn on a light.
It is a heavy weight that we fight against
Because our hearts and souls yearn
For light.
We yearn for the searing brightness of
Love and Hate and Anger and Pride
To burn in our stomachs and throats.
We live to see the stars, so it’s
Terrifying.
When we can’t.

When all we see is a broken heart
That shattered because some part of it fell
Silent.

Our tears are our heart’s way of mourning
Our broken pieces and the
Parts that have lost their voice.
We see this Silence and tremble,
But until we see the sun again we don’t realize that it’s
Not eternal within us.

So if you’ve ever experienced it you’d know that
Silence…
It’s the darkness of sleep.
When you have no light to go to and
You fall into Silence’s arms because you can’t see
Any stars to hold your broken pieces.
You’d know that
Silence…
It’s not an enemy.
It’s the place where you can heal
Where you can finally find
Light.

I never believed in the idea of Normal
When it’s very presence has indicated a
Division
Between people who fit and people who don’t.
Normal is the thing that points at all of you
And calls you different.
I’ve known the phrase ‘that’s not Normal’
And I’ve had the blessing of not
Caring weather I was.
But do not walk up to someone and say they aren’t
Normal.
The entire concept of not being or being Normal
Only divides.
Everyone is their own.
And we are all our own.
And that puts us here together.
We are not alone in our loneliness.
So don’t make someone think they
Are.
Because we aren’t.
We aren’t alone.
And the important thing is that we’re
Together in our difference.
So so what?
So what if no one’s Normal.

Amidst the glory of the music
And the triumph of letting go,
The sun seemed to brighten every corner of the room.
It framed it into a picture
Painting out the beauty
Of the simple love
Friendship brings.
When the sun finally set and it was quiet,
I knew that I'd keep that moment with me forever,
And though the sun will be shining again,
I hope I never forget the way it shined
When we lived in that time-stilled moment
And all the world was, was
The sun and the music.

We each bear our own weight
And our own stories.
Our difference is what makes us
Different from any other animal.
We are animals with unique minds
Trying to find minds to match our own.
We all bear the weight of our own wings.
Beautiful wings that can carry us to the
Edge of the sky.
The chains we make around ourselves are what keeps us grounded.
They're what holds us back.
We are creatures that need lights to follow in the dark,
If not a friend to lead us then
Our own mind as the only thing that we can really
Trust.
We all need anchors to steady us,
To bring us back when we've fallen.
To remind us of who we were and who we now
Are.
We all need light.
We all want the world,
But we sometimes forget that every
Star has their own world.
So don't take theirs.
Just
Make your own.

Welcome
Lost Souls,
To a society where
Broken hearts are balanced on tightropes
Stretching across a darkness as thick as an
Overgrown forest that only flickering candles
Can push away.

Welcome
New Fighters,
To a war of words
Where people use their voices trying to make sense
Of the music in their heads and in their hearts.
Where everyone is terrified of falling because
They don't know who they'll be
When they get back up.

Welcome
Newborns,
To a world of childhood and age,
With people who learn to want before they learn
What they want
And what they need.
Where your childhood is dependant on how much
You know before you realize
That some truths were lies
And that there is no rewind button
For sight.

Welcome
Dear Angel,
To a world where you only came
To those who waited for a lifetime and more
Just holding on to a hope older
Than their mind.
To a world where
Some were lost before you could
Find them and
We blame you for not coming
Even though we know it's not your fault.

Welcome
Sad Demons,
To our world where we were taught
To fight with fangs and claws
Against ourselves and against
You.
Where we're all terrified of what lurks
Inside our chests until
We come to realize that
The forest shadows that
We cast as monsters are just
Trees.

Welcome
Far Aliens,
To our everlasting war
Where you'll be left shocked by the way
We'll tear ourselves and others apart
Just to feel whole.
Just to keep what's ours.
Where you'll be left wondering at the fact that
We're terrified of being alone
And that we know we need someone
Despite our desire to hide in our lonely darkness
Whenever a wandering light comes along
Because of the fear of what we'll
Find within that darkened forest.

Welcome
Children,
To a scary world where you know
Everything when you're young because
You knew that everything
Was gonna be alright,
And that's all that anyone needs to know
In order to survive this fight.

Welcome
To our world of broken glass.

Where the horizon ends
Is a world unhinged by the gravity of
A heart.
A world as mysterious as tomorrow
That seems to be so full of possibilities
That we couldn’t possibly count them all.
A world where no human could go because of the chains that it would
Break upon entering.
A world that we can reach for but never quite
Touch.
A world that marks a start for some and an
End for others.
A beautiful world that can be seen but never looked at.
That can be imagined but never guaranteed.
As deep as the sky and as mysterious as an ocean.
A world that beckons.
A world that saves.
And a world that destroys.
An intricate tapestry that has so very many strings
That all depend on each other.
A world that you can only notice on the line
Where the horizon ends.