I've heard before
Love hurts
Be careful

I've felt it before
Love hurts
And ******* I was careful

I've heard before
Love no more

I loved before
Today no more
Nor hate, nor prate... nor
It feels like a chore
For I'll love you no more
Like I've failed before

I knew it't hurt
                                
                           Just not as much

I think it's a strange world we live in dear
Such different places to visit
More adventures to conquer fear
Opportunities that do not limit

So many different choices
So little prodigious wonder
As well as so many different voices
That followed me as I went under

I think of life as different houses
I've built mine of wood
instead of stone with couches
so me moving would be understood

My element is not a home
For it's dark, and I'm not alone

Let me catch the virus,
Let my lungs ache like my heart did
To get away from your blue iris
Maybe of you, my mind would be rid

Away from the hatred and fake love,
Away from the memories and mistakes
I'll be sky high, this time above
Just walking around, is all it takes

I'll keep forgetting my mask,
I'll lose all my gloves
Infect me, is all I ask
For I'm not the one she loves

Spread to me, and I shall keep you
Just walking around, is all I've to do

It was like being impaled
or torn into two
My heart instantly mailed
by the words of you

I reject it
I need it not
It just gives me problems
The pain I'd rather not go through

I sit and think
The future
The memories
The present
The past
I sit and think
It's forever lost

I want to help you
I may not involve
Though I wish I could help
Though I wish I didn't even meet you
I have a lost for all words
Holding my hand over my heart
Hearing it slowly beat your name
Till it doesn't

Tickle me with your sweet touch
Deceivingly irresistible

Torture me with your words
Until it breaks me
Feed me your poison
Until it kills me

Hold me tight with your alluring arms
Until you strangle me
With your
Atrocity

Kiss me with your beautiful lips
With my closed eyes
I will silently enjoy
Until you swallow me
With my addiction
To killing myself with you

Poison me
Strangle me
Swallow me
I'm more broken
Than I'll ever be

As the evening reaches the hour of dark, and the lights inside cut out
Wed together as every star is visible
Bound to remember by the first-hand audience of two
Her gown and his pants hugging one another on the floor
As their lips may gently embrace with their ever so soft and perfect caressing
Un-married for not a sin
For the stars cross one another and they may intertwine
Sealed fate and opened gate
Together they may come,
But alone shall one leave
Forever they may part,
Or together they may start

Our love was meant to be eternal,
But our love
Was wishéd upon the sun
Bound together as the sun shines
Unbound forever as the sun sets
 
Our love was meant to be eternal,
But our love
Was not wishéd upon the moon
Bound together as the moon shines
Bound forever, for the moon sets not

I imagine an amazing meadow,
where we'd stay for hours
you'd wear your silly yellow
and we'd sit among'st the flowers

'Tis only a dream
or so to seem
you, my only seam
lost within the stream

I see he's ready
I'd wish him not
to take the shot
I see he's, steady

In this dream, I see you there
Your screams, In this nightmare

How am I?
I went from alright
to bad
I went from bad
to worse

See the sad thing of it all
I'm unsure if right now
Is going from worse to good
Or Going from worse to worst

It's unclear to me how things can get worse
It's unclear if it'll ever become better again
Shouldn't have dragged you
Into the mess that's my life

Don't bring me a single flower
or even dare to cry in the shower
My life was lived to the most
as I will end with a silent toast

You forced me back into my shadow
You forced my pain onto my sorrow
Where were you as I grew up
There you are as I've grown up

Shade my colours, and cut my feathers
Tear my light, and break my heart
Break my mind
For I know you won't handle a minute
Inside my mind
Only seconds can break you
More than years have
Done ruthlessly to me

I lied when I said:
I don't like myself
I don't love anyone

for

I loved myself with you
I love you

then

Everything changed in an instant

You made me the happiest
With all your beauty
And perfection
You made me feel beautiful
And perfected

Everybody hated us being
Maybe, for we were perfect
Or 'cause you were too good
I was just too happy
Tough there were fights...
Those fights
Showed your
True colours
I'm sorry for bringing those out
Just know that
After 8 months
Of us being apart
I can still say that
I love you, always,
Was that not the promise?
The world is happy again
They see the old me, regain
And you under his strain
Goodbye my lover
You have fought in my mind
Fought with me side
By side
And back to back
Goodbye my lover
You have left my war
Poisoned my mind
And took my heart with

You'd ask me if I'm depressed. I'd tell you no
Why can I be depressed when I have what I wanted

You'd ask me if I'm suicidal. I'd tell you no
When you fail in something too many times
You give up

You'd ask me if I'm happy. So used to lying. I'd tell you no
How can you be unhappy, when your smile is filled with love. Eyes with sadness, but your heart's not there and your emotions thinned?

I grew a stone in place of a heart
Just to give it away again
Regret I do not, for I've nothing to lose and everything to gain

I want to meet my opposite,
And attract to her beauty.
We'll find places to visit,
And travel around free.

I want her to not be afraid of being afraid
To not be afraid of not knowing
I want to know that we're made
I want us to be glowing
Her positivity
My negativity
Together an eternity

This is not a poem, 'tis a story
The story of how I went so far backwards
'tis the story of me falling in love
and falling... out of life

I fell for a girl, and I ****** her up, because I was scared
This is not a poem

I lost this amazing girl, and drank away my sorrows
Under age and a drunken mess
This is not a poem

I had a friend, she helped me through that mess
and I hurt her more than I ever knew or realised
I was too stuck in my own ****
drunk and high
escaping reality
again and
she left

This is not a poem
I realized that she had not left and she only escaped me dragging her down
I cannot connect or attach with anyone
For I have lost too much of myself
to take that thing away from
another person, because
is a ravaged thing and
I'm and untold lore
and this is not a
True Poem
'tis a story of
a brokenhearted
and pathetic little boy
who had not told his lore
to anyone, but one and thus
He realized 'tis not a story
to be told for anyone
written words here
**This is not a poem

I don't feel the words I speak
I don't feel my heart beat
The smile in my story
Is gone like my body

I've been scarred too much
With this thing 'love's touch

You did this to me
This time I tried my best
To save the rest
Yet it would not be

The book of life
The pages now have text
To close my book is next
Though my story'd be silent
For this end will be violent

The torn pages
Were the worst stages
I'd wish no eye
To see the reasons why

I leave to the moon tonight
Maybe there I'd shine bright
This is the end of my fight
Close your eyes darling, goodnight

Yet

Before you walk away from
Everything;
Please remember
The way I loved you
Please remember
The way I still love you
Please remember
I'll always love you

'tis a word that hath been diceived for plesure or satisfaction

'tis a word that doth not be uséd in the ways we believéd

'tis our own perception and perspective instead of the horrid truth

Pain is the only feeling we can use to seperate love from hate when it's all that's real

I grant you to gently peek
Careful, for there demons creep
I wish you not to blindly seek
For I've gotten them to peacefully sleep

You may think you can handle
My mistake to reflect
For you'll never again be stable
Your qualities will deflect

I've been falsely honest
Inside lies Diablo himself
You have not yet earnest
your way to the shelf

Her hands perfectly followed my seams
and ripped it apart with my screams

I wish I were richer
I wish I were smarter
Or in a better political situation
Send help
Please Send Help
South Africa is falling
The government cannot protect us
The government is too corrupt
The government keep making mistakes
Political parties in the country are killing farmers
Caucasian Farmers
Political parties in the country are promoting ****** of Caucasian men, woman and children.
Black Lives matter
What about the rest of us?
Don't we all belong as equals?
Send Help
Please Send Help
South Africa is falling
They're burning our buildings
They're burning the country
Our government prioritises money
Over the welfare of our people
One president to steal money and another to come
Send Help
Please Send Help
South Africa
Is Falling

The poet:
Write about the sun
during the dark
then writes of the moon
in the afternoon
Writes on a blank page
'till that page's full

The poet:
Reads over his(her) words
as if they're chords
then sit in sorrow
and wonder
if he'll(she'll) write better tomorrow

I see many poets' words
where some of them are chords
written for the lords
and written by the nords

Many of these words are depressing
Others are mostly addressing
someone, or something sad
written by another young lad

Words of endless motivation
that sets in motion, a whirl
topic'd all depression
written by a beautiful girl

All these words together
is what makes me mostly dread
what is set in forever
and will be all that's said

My thirst for appreciation
Is like my hunger for prosperity
This restless relaxation
Is evolving into lethal severity
I wish for a love with no separation
Let me meet her in perpendicularity

Our different paths may cross
And our hearts may bond
I want a best friend, not a boss
I want a love that shines far beyond

Am I seeking an irregularity
Or just an unpopularity
It has to be possible
For it is only plausible

People never change;
they adapt or
learn to do things differently

-she

Hey, did you hear?
Sandman called yesterday
He asked me why my dreams are dead
He asked me about my nightmares
and how he couldn't change them into dreams

Hey, did you hear?
Sandman called yesterday
He asked me if I wanted depression
He's selling it on special
By the cost of a broken heart

I sat and thought
when I was younger
I feared whatever lurks the dark
I feared a man with no remorse
I feared men on substance and influences

I fear that child now
for I've become
everything that I feared
and in the terror
of knowing a child fears me
and will one day become
me
i am afraid

Those I have loved the most, I've hurt even more
Those I've pushed away, I've been afraid to care for
I had not seen the end of life, but I've felt it
I have seen my victory of the war within, but I've tasted defeat

I've drank away my sorrows, but I've already drowned in them by then
I fear nothing, not because of being brave
'tis for I have already lost what I feared to

Yesterday's tears
are tomorrow's fears
Today's pain
is tomorrow's gain
Yesterday's sad
is today's bad
and tomorrow's mad

Pain ends the same, in madness

Then she stopped
She broke me

By your first embrace
To your final refrase
I will let you sustain
What in my heart remain

Remember, my heart slowly grows
Where as yours just fondly flows
As the rose is the winter flower
I will love you by every hour
Great times or bad
You'll be my favourite sour
I might be just another young lad
That came into your life,
Though I'll make you my wife

From when you first wept
To your final step
I'll hold your hand, all the way
As I'll do it every day

Life has lost colours
Love has lost emotions
Winter has lost cold
as
Summer got cold
Love became ***
Life became grey
as
Wood became smoke
Stone became dust

Wrath so bad the sun hid from it
Wrath so bad
even darkness
tried to hide
within the shadows
Wrath only a woman
that once poisoned a man's heart
can release

My state of mind
has grown very unkind
If only time could rewind
I'd have picked the right side

We all have a story
Share yours with the people
who understand

To all the goodbyes
I say goodnight
To everyone that dies
I hope it's bright

To everyone;
With a razor
Hand of pills
Tied rope
Dangling keys
Extreme height below
Finger over a light trigger
Electricity at hand
Open propane tank
Empty plate, with full glass

Stop, think about who you're leaving behind
I know my words aren't going to stop you, but just read
Did you bother to write and leave a note?
Is it worth it then?
Saying you're sorry, knowing you'll leave someone behind?
Stop. Think about why you're doing it
Do you have nobody?
Think about your opportunities that'll fly past
The chance of ever meeting someone?
Did you lose someone?
Think about if you'll actually see them again?
Being bullied?
Fight back, with whatever you have
Life shoved you down?
No, I'm not asking you to get up!
I'm telling you to get your *** into a nap
Think about all the possibilities that might not be
Think of all the opportunities and people in the future
Think of your legacy
Think of anything except the pain
Now balance the pain and everything else
Want to jump? Skyfall
Want to shoot? Paintball and games
Want to hang? Bungee
Want to overdose? Take 10% of it and party
Suffocate in propane gas, or blow up? Cook a nice meal, invite a friend or family. Surround yourself. No friends and family? Find a friend, build a family.
Want to speed wrong side of the road? Speed on the right side of the road and get carried with the wind, do it over again
Want to cut yourself? Cut off the pain and wrong influences
Electrocute yourself? Rather save electricity and watch a good movie with friends or family. Have none? Watch a movie alone, play a game online. Make friends, build a family
Want to starve yourself so you can get drunker and finally forget it all, when your liver gives in? Eat a lot more, blow off some steam at the gym and build a body that girls/guys would like, attract them and make new friends. Drink with friends.

I've tried many things, some of them didn't work out, or I couldn't stay awake longer. Create new dreams if the old ones died. Work hard for them. Achieve something
"At least leave a ******* legacy behind" is what my bestfriend, Steph used to say
"You can get out of this alive, but maybe a little ****** up, but anything damaged can be repaired" My bestfriend Josh used to say
"Life can carry you away without what you thought you needed" my bestfriend Divene used to say

Even more quotes from people I've lost in my life, so I ask you just think about it all
Still going through with it? Remember it's a one way ticket

Does it end here;
in my hands;
where it began,
inside my mind,
where the war
would be silenced
******
Or would it be pausing
to once begin
when I have no defense

I survived the wrath of depression
once again
Was I too scared to cut deeper
for once
Was there not enough blood
To bleed
Was the blade too blunt
To cut
Were my tears too much
To see

Received on February 14th, valentines day
Not meant to be this way
Just for my soul to train
The cup she gave me
my valued  possession
turned to the thing
blocking progression
I drink from it
Filled with rage
Wrists un-slid
again, this stage
Keep it to tease
the beast inside me
for if I throw it away
I would be the same
that I was the day
I broke her
and threw her away

I never thought of it that way
What would be the last time we'll kiss
I guess I never knew true pain before
What would be the last time I could hold you
I knew she'll be my Ex-Girlfriend in the future
But I thought it would be when we're married
She's with another man now
And I'm alone and fading

Mum said be a doctor, but no
I didn't like school, glad to go
I became a mechanic instead
It caught my heart in 10th grade
I could do better in life, compared
To my grades, my life is made

I prefer a simple life
Where my biggest problems are finding the bolt that just fell down into a void
Where my daily irritations are losing a spanner or socket
My worst encounters would be a client that insists on knowing the problem
My best moments would be spending time with friends and family
My best days would be vacations

I don't want to be a doctor
And worry about a cancer patient
Or huge accident coming in
I don't want to be irritated by nurses or patients that don't listen
I don't want my worst encounter to be losing someone's life
I don't want my best moments to be having expensive things to show off
I definitely don't want my best days to be going home and sleeping early

I dreamed a sweet dream last night
and for a moment all was right
We were together again
and we kissed in the rain
Your hands were stroking my back
As I was kissing your neck
We were perfectly cut out
in a vision soon to be about
********
I dreamed a bitter dream last night
We were together again
With all love and pain
Kissing in the rain
Eyes blinked, you out of sight
Eyes open, empty arms in bed
I wish we'd be together instead

She said he's an angel,
he knew his demons well
She said he's perfect,
He knew she's perfect
She said she loved him,
He loved her so much
She said she'd love him forever,
He loves her even after

{~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~}

She said she hates him,
He said he loves her
She wished him dead,
He wished him dead
She pushed him away,
He puller her closer
She moved on,
He let go so slightly
She's with him now,
He respects them
She forgave him,
He spoke to her again
She hates him,
He hates him
She's gone forever
He lives wherever
High enough in his own reality