A mind attracted by the peaks
while the feet want to climb mountains
Divided and consumed
Lights and darkness

Voices that should have been shut
Doors that should have been closed
Demons that keep coming back
Same old habits

An ephemeral light in the night
Enough hope to carry on
Transforming loathe into love and laugh
Discovering that change is the greatest source of energy

When he was my age,
my father was already a dad.
At twenty-five I still drink as much *****
He told me: “you are making your mother sad”

My colleagues all have lovers
I am married to an imaginary dog
That cute bartender was flirting with me
So I could start a relationship with beer

I don’t know what annoys more my roommates
My clumsiness or my messiness
I blamed my fictional pet
That animal should try to stay sober

My friends stop talking to me
Once they started dating
I should try to figure out my problems
But not today, it’s Friday

Focusing on taking steps after steps
but forgetting to take a breath
Mimicing strength while my shield was rusting
I said I am fine too many times

I know this shell needed to break
So I could shine
This mask needed to fade away
So I could look at myself in the mirror

Admitting my vulnerability
and finding the chemistry of happiness
Admitting my ignorance
and finding the road to knowledge

Where there is room for improvement
There is space to grow
When things seem to collapse
Just an opportunity to start again

We used to go to bed listening to fairytales
Hearing about princesses and dragons
Unreachable dreams and fake heroes
Diversion

We welcome warm winters only after cold summers
For I remember admiring the shiny moon
Contemplating ruins
And admiring autumn's vulnerability

Growing from bittersweetness
Accepting pain as an energy
Finding hopes in every step
Maybe now greyness is the miracle I need

Your lips took my insecurities away for awhile
Before it came back to me
I know you need your time
I know I am further on the sentimental path

Two dates and 10 days
I'd rather lay with you than with my doubts
I know you are busy
I know you like me

Still I wonder daily
Is it gonna work?
Clueless where to go
But I want to go with you

Customer support sitting at a desk
Problem solver to the core
Lord of the FAQs
Dealing with other people's issue until the payday

About life and love
I frequently ask the questions
No clear procedure I can follow
Trial by error day after day

I wanted a forest fire
But our flame was nothing more than a candle
Not even a bonfire
Short-lived desire

You did not hurt me
I hurt myself...
Walking on a path through quicksand
Loving someone who was not available

All I can do is to move on
Tolerating your face in my surrounding
The past has to be left alone
And finding someone else to sing along

Walking alongside the walls of old town
Wishing your hand were holding my own
Since yesterday my heart has not taken a rest
Not because of the coffees we had

Next time we meet
I will take the leap of faith
Sick of being scared
For  I have heard love can be a beautiful thing

The alphabet has 26 letters
So I can make 26 different scenarios in my head
Yet they almost never occur
But it still feels like the world is pulling murphy's laws against me

Or is it my overthinking that is playing  to my disadvantage?
When every sounds, every silences can have meanings
When everything can be a sign
Poor social and emotional skills

Life without a plan
Questions that even Google cannot answer
Yet with time I have learnt that there is only one truth
I'll be fine no matter what

Pieces of life
Like pieces of magnetic puzzle
Attracting and rejecting each other
Pieces that come together and fall apart with time

With each mistakes, a lesson
Each lessons like a brick in a wall
will help me build a stronger foundation
This is not perfect but it is the best I have

Wishing things were more linear
It all feels so peculiar
Like a compass looking for the north
I don't know where to step forth

It is all coming together
And falling apart at the same time
Lost and overwhelmed
This chaos is starting to look too familiar

If hope is the engine
Then, perseverance is the path
Introspection is the map
And resilience is the key

You have to start somewhere
You have to start somehow
At rock bottom
You cannot go down

Just do something
Forget the pressure to be successful
This fake exceptionalism you see on social media
Meaningless influencers and food for ego

Listen to your intuition and forget the noise
The bird that tweets the loudest is not the most productive
You just need to be the one with the strongest wings
Resilience is key

So, I left the land that has seen me grow
A land where crops were watered with tears
Full of hope, full of questions
What if my demons could swim….

Will I be met with treasures or foreign arrows?
Shall I taste *** or blood?
A fertile land or the plague?
Such myths were told about those far-away places…

I have heard about palaces full of gold
Islands inhabited by mermaids
Leviathan and krakens
But all I can feel is the wind rushing through my ears

Last night I caught up with my fears.
Different place, different live?
Now it is the sea that is tasting my tears.
Tonight if I don’t sleep with the sirens, I’ll be sleeping with my doubts.

Owl screaming in the night
Bears looking for a fight
At the end of the path
Near the lake, a cottage

There I will rest
Healing my feet
In the chimney
Fire burning bright

When morning comes
With no danger in sight
Then, I will carry on
Building my own freedom

Until the sun rise
I will be my own light
Until the cloud disappear
I will be my own sun

I have lost a battle
Not the war
Sorry but...
White flags do not belong in my backpack

Steps after steps
Miles after miles
This was not supposed to be a sprint
But a marathon

You know so much but do you even know yourself
Research questions and existential questions
Chasing this emptiness with data
Life never came with a methodology

Introspection is a strange discipline
This journey in ourselves, that is not taught in classroom
Or were you afraid of what you may discover
Many choose to stay where it is comfortable

Frustration is accumulating like the dust on your bookshelf
Emotions, this part of humanity without rationality
Seasons are changing, yet you are still alone
Cognition may not be the key to everything

Seeking for human connection
You whispered “I am just a man”
She thinks you are just a mind
Still this need to run from deception

Yet this time, you were right
You are not a mind but a man

Indigenous knowledge and unwritten tradition
Ritual dances and pagan gods
She speaks to the deads
Heals the deepest wound
Whispers to the reindeers

But one day people with skins, the colour of snow, came
Untouched by her wisdom
Nothing she could do to stop them
The land was soiled
Purity went away

Escaped my former golden cage
For this room near the sea
Feeling the breeze of freedom
Four walls of serenity

Escaped your toxic attraction
Found my heart falling for someone new
Feeling the emotions floating
Longing to know her better

Seeing the end of the tunnel
Reaching a new crossroad
Feeling a release of dopamine
Putting my energy in something new

Anxious voice telling me that it all may fail
Doubt running in my veins
But I do deserve happiness
I want to believe in this momentum

Chicken, do you sometimes look up and get jealous?
Lone wolf are you afraid of the crowd?
Or really comfortable with yourself?
Black sheep are you fine with being different?
Or do you wish you were colour-blind, at times?