I remember you as the missionary that turned my body into a piece of land
That night you crossed an ocean of friendliness to claim as your own.
But this land was already inhabited by the likes of me, a native to my body
And you, a foreign body that I could not wash clean.
I showered five times that night, but you had already implanted a plague
Of confusion and hate within me.
You took my smile aprisoner, never to be seen again
Until we passed each other on campus four months later.
You flaunted your smirk as if you got a flashback too
But unlike mine it was a happy one.
Not like the ones I have had at least once a week for the last year,
Where I'm back to the night of the invasion
And end up shaking in fear.
I had known you for no less than ten months,
Always saw you at house parties and in night clubs with our mutual friends -
Don't you think it's weird that we used to be friends?
You know when I shared that taxi back with you I expected you to get me home safely,
Leave me at the door and in the morning I'd text you to make sure you got home okay,
Moan about our headaches and compare hangover cures.
I did not expect you to ask to come in but I allowed it.
A glass of water for your way and to use my bathroom because
Being ****** and needing a **** at the same time is hard
But that's where my consent ended,
Rejected your ****** advances, pleaded for you to leave
And you had the audacity to say that I didn't mean it.
Like I wouldn't know what the words leaving my mouth meant,
Like I didn't spend the last nineteen years of my life learning about consent
And the dangers of the female body.
When you hear about **** it's always in dark alleyways,
Strangers pouncing on weaker prey - that sick, lonely, *******,
And never the friend that you took shots with.
Never the guy that's the life of the party.
Never the guy that works for your university.
Over the last year I have cried an ocean, big enough to stop another man from crossing.
I'm working on my liberation, fighting for my independence from this nightmare.
I know you conquered other friends too, but I refuse to be another colony in your empire -
Another person to be victimised,
Because it's YOU, Missionary, that needs to be civilised.
The past year has been a hard one, and basically.