I have met you not
But I know you enough
To see that you can be trusted
With almost anything

Colleagues we are, now
And have we quite the cordial relationship
Almost always are we, on the same page
Though of course, one of us
Can come up with a fresh perspective sometimes

Quite cool, are you
In spite of the fact
That it's been long not
Since you started your career

Always, have I enjoyed
Working with you
And never have we had
Any disagreements whatsoever

There have times been
When I was at the end of my tether
Then have you offered words of comfort
Thus changing my outlook for the better

Colleagues we are, yes
But do I see you as a friend too
Never do you judge
And always have I felt at ease
While interacting with you
May you please be the way you are
And continue spreading love, happiness and peace
God bless you, yaar

All of us, at some stage or the other
Have had certain experiences
Which have changed our lives forever
For the better, or for the worse
Of course, if it were the latter
We would have developed scars
Some of these scars
Take as much time to heal
As it takes, to place a human being on the Moon!!

Look at me, for example
Happy being single, at the age of thirty
Except for some work stress, of course
All it took, for everything to change
Was that infernal M-word

Well, it was but natural
That I would be apprehensive at first
However, as I got to know the girl
My heart told me
That I was on the right track

A couple of meetings
At my place
And then at her place
Followed by a month full of daily phone calls
And my decision was made

Our engagement was quite the tiny affair
My heart though, told me
That we were a cute couple
My brain was sure not
Of course, you all know
That I always follow my heart
And so it was, in this case too

Well, there were a few red flags
However, overruled was my brain, once more
On a roll, was my heart
I had everything in life
Or so did I think

Just was I getting ready
To tie the knot
When the pandemic struck
Suddenly, did everything look uncertain

So upset did my fiancee become
She stopped talking to me
Nor was my family spared
Though hardly was it our fault

Well, after a week or so
The silence was finally broken
However, never were things the same again

Often would we run out of topics to discuss
Except for a few mundane ones
For instance, what we had for dinner etc etc
And would she make herself available
Only around 9 PM
This was but a red flag
Which did I fail to recognise, yet again
Because she had lost her job, due to COVID19

As always, did my heart overrule my brain, yet again
And thus did we go ahead with the wedding
Much to my relief, must I say
Since it was but almost five months
Post that accursed lockdown

So, again did I think
That I had everything in life
How wrong was I to be

Right from the beginning
Her lack of interest was obvious
Even on my birthday
Did she fail to spend time with me
However, as always
Did my heart give her the benefit of doubt
Paying absolutely no heed
To the objections raised by my poor brain

Well, this was just the tip of the iceberg
Compared to what was about to follow
When her infidelity was exposed
Never once, did she let me out of her sight
Far from not showing interest
Did she become super possessive
As sudden as a heart attack

My best friend did her best to warn me
Which only ended up turning my wife
Into a jealous ******
Forcing me to cut my bestie off
Which was but one of the worst moments
In my entire life

However, so determined was my best friend
That she gave up not
And, along with my sister
Ended up saving me from total disaster

Though I was ultimately relieved
My now estranged wife's behaviour
Still did prove to be enough
To induce in me, a state of depression
Which lasted for more than a month

Apart from my best friend
And a few close relatives
No one was to know this
Thus, every time was the topic of my marriage raised
Did I have to keep up the facade
And pretend everything was fine
Which failed not, to **** me from the inside

Also, it helped not
That, tedious to the extreme
Was the divorce process
Not to mention, getting further delayed
Thanks to that infernal pandemic

Nor did it help
That my to-be-divorced wife
Threw a few tantrums
Every now and then
In the form of a few messages
Which reeked of utter desperation
Also was I forced, by my lawyer
To maintain a strict silence
Even if it, as always
Killed me from the inside

There was but a silver lining
In all this darkness
Finally, did my brain come to the fore
After being overruled many a time
By my rather naive and impulsive heart

Well, ultimately was the divorce done
But not before we were forced
To pay that wretched girl
A frigging four lakhs
On "humanitarian" grounds
That too, after her outrageous refusal
To return all the jewellery
That we had bestowed upon her
Out of sheer love and compassion

Well, this entire experience has failed not
To leave inside me a few scars
That run rather deep
And may take as much time to heal
As it does for England
To win a Football World Cup!!

My therapist calls this experience "traumatic"
I agree not with her
However, I can equally deny not
That it has indeed affected my life
In a rather adverse manner
My self-confidence, in particular
Has taken a bigger beating
Than did Pakistan's bowlers yesterday
At the hands of Warner and Marsh!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
However, to expect that to happen
Within a span of two years
Is like asking India to win a Football World Cup
Given that, at present
They are not even able to qualify in the first place!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
Because they doth prepare us
For mightier challenges ahead
And life is full of such things
However, the first thing to do
Would be, to accept them in the first place
And more importantly, acknowledge them
Because, only when are we kind to ourselves
Can we truly heal
And this doth apply
Even to the tiniest of wounds!!

For four years have I known you
From railfans to close friends
Quite the journey has it been
In the train of relationships

Thou art innocent and sweet
But when it comest to talking
Oh boy, do you set the bar high
With an expertise in four languages
At the age of just twenty-four!!

Every outing we've had
Has been nothing short of memorable
From the hurricane run
On board the famous Pune Shatabdi
To the thrilling boat ride
Through the equally famous Bhigwan Bird Sanctuary
Add a few movies in between
Not to mention, drinks *** dinner
And you have the icing on the cake

Whenever I've come to Pune
I've always felt at home
Your family being the engine
To my train of love, happiness and peace
From your mother's cooking
To your father's hospitality
Not to mention, your lavish home
With a plethora of facilities

You ain't just no friend
But a younger brother as well
Quite the honour has it been
To have you at our home
Something we should do more often
After all, we are thick as thieves

For four years have I known you
And with every year
Our bond has grown stronger
Than even the Rock of Gibraltar
Which ain't no surprise
Since we have a lot in common
Trains, cricket, movies
Food, drinks, cats
The list is endless

For four years have I known you
And our friendship is something to be cherished
As much as India winning a Cricket World Cup
Or a journey in a diesel-hauled train
Or even, Hyderabad's finest Mutton Biryani!!
I endeth on this note
Age is just a number
Even when it comest to relationships

At a time when I was held prisoner
By my shy nature
Especially when it comest to talking with girls
You put your best foot forward
In order to break the ice
Which was doing its best
To try and freeze me to death
As though I were but in Antarctica
So, I thought you my friend
Mind you, an assumption it wasn't
You called me your best friend
Not once or twice
But many a time
You even called yourself my sister
A trusting person that I am
I took you at face value
Which was probably one of the biggest mistakes
Of my life in entirety
If Australia dominated cricket
You were my dominator
Your name stands for desire
And all you desired
Was getting your way
When it comest to anything and everything
You were such a drama queen
You put the Kardashians to shame
Only your "bestest friend" escaped
From your terrifying glare
Which burnest everything in its path
Much like Lord Shiva's third eye
You were always right
We were always wrong
Again, with a notable exception
Your precious little "bestest friend"
What he saw in you
Only God knowest
Marking you absent in the attendance register
Which was but my duty
Turned out to be a crime
Fouler than ****** itself!!
How dare I mark the "Queen" absent
Even if she were indeed absent!!
How dare I support Chennai Superkings
Even if I were but from Chennai
Not to mention, a huge fan of MS Dhoni!!
East or West, North, South Or Central
Mumbai Indians were always the best
All other teams were trash
You and your whims and fancies
Driveth all of us mad
Quicker than a tracer bullet
As Ravi Shastri would say
Even to this day
But you were my best friend
Not to mention, my sister!!
So mum I kept
As would a fiercely loyal dog
Even when ignored by its master
After our college days endeth
I stayed in touch
As would every friend in the world
In particular, a best friend
But best friend you were certainly not
I can forgive even an enemy
But not a friend who cuts me off
For the flimsiest reason in the world
To you, I was wrong
Though reality speaketh otherwise
But hey, why would I want to lose my best friend?
So did I apologise
Not once or twice
But many a time
Though for the kind of response I receiveth
Might I have spoken to the wall instead!!
After ages and ages
Cometh your response
As arrogant as James Potter in his school days
You showeth me your true face
Nothing but a jumped up rich Punjabi Brahmin
Who thinkest she were the best
In not just India
But the world in its entirety
Gone was your sweet tongue
In full display was a mini Bellatrix Lestrange
Ready to **** even her best friend
As the real Bellatrix did
With her cousin Sirius Black
Well, I would rather I died
Than maintain a friendship
With a cunning ***** like yourself
You deserve not
A single true friend in the world
Not even your "bestest friend"
You smashed my self-confidence
Into a billion little pieces
Pieces that I continue to pick up
Even to this day
Something I could but have avoided
Had I not taken you up
On your offer of friendship
Which was but as fake
As the smile of a Kardashian
I endeth on this note
It is but a lesson to all
Not to get swayed by sweet tongues
Scratch beneath the surface
Then only showeth up the true character

What's life without a role model?
A Slytherin without ambition
A Hufflepuff without loyalty
A Ravenclaw without curiosity
And finally
A Gryffindor without courage

All of us have role models
Well, maybe not those poor souls
Who aim to achieve as much in their lives
As have done Bermuda
When it comest to cricket

Well, I know I will be asked
Who is my role model?
It is the one and only Harris Jayaraj
A musician who produces magic
Which sweeps you off your feet
And transports you into a whole new universe
Where all your dreams come true
And every unhappy memory of yours vanishes
With just a lazy flick of his wand
A wand that can be bested not
Even by the legendary Elder Wand

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
The key that unlockest the door
Beyond which, lies my true potential

The sheer variety of music
Which lies in your repertoire
Doth make proud
Even a Hans Zimmer or a John Williams
Therefore, it cometh not as a surprise
That one of them is your idol

Everyone heaps a ton of praises
On your captivating melodies
Which, of course, is thoroughly well deserved
However, it is your background music
Which, according to me, is the gamechanger
Because it doth transform even the most boring movies
Into a spectacle of entertainment
Recall the famous India vs Australia Test match
At Eden Gardens, Kolkata, circa 2001
From a certain innings defeat
To a glorious victory
Was a transformation par excellence
Thanks to the sheer magic produced by three people
For whom the word "impossible"
Doth not exist in the dictionary
Thou hadst achieved the same
With a snooze fest of a movie, known as "Vaaranam Aayiram"
Thy BGMs playing the role of the Pied Piper of Hamelin
A movie that deserved to be a flop
Ended up becoming a hit
Thanks to Harris, the one man army

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
Not because you have achieved many a success
But because you give up not
In the event of a failure
And even that has happened not
For want of trying

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
Even if your fame has reached the mighty skies
The word "pride" doth not exist in your dictionary
Your greatness truly lies
In your sheer simplicity
Not to mention, your acute awareness
Of yours strengths and weaknesses

Dear Harris Sir,
You are an inspiration
Not only to me
But also to millions of aspiring artists
Because there is so much to learn from you
And it is not all about music
Your hard work and dedication
As well as your willingness to learn
And keep on learning
No matter how far you have progressed in life
Sets an example for all of us
I would like to end on this note
Once a Harris fan, always a Harris fan!

There was a time
When I used to be proud
Of being an Indian
However, that feels like light years ago
Since then, so many things have changed
That I wonder sometimes
If this is indeed the same country
Where I was conceived
Imagine surviving a plane crash
Only to have your face charred in such a way
That it resembles a piece of barbequed meat
And thus even your own mother fails to recognise you
That is the India of today
A democracy only in name
Where the gap between the rich and the poor
Is even wider than the river Nile
The way in which the so-called upper castes
Treat the so-called lower castes
Is even worse
Than the way in which the Nazis used to treat the Jews
Nearly a century ago
Not to mention, to insult a cow
Is considered nothing short of ******
However, harassing a woman
Especially a woman from one of the underprivileged sections of society
Is treated, in the manner in which a simple traffic violation is dealt with
That is, all you have to do; is pay a fine
And you are free to go about doing whatever you were doing
Including harassing more women
Then we come to the small matter of mental health
If you are undergoing therapy or counselling
Or if you are meeting a psychiatrist
As you pass people on the way
You might hear a lot of whispers and murmurs
Making it sound as though you were dying
Or worse, on the verge of insanity
Therefore, whenever you air your views publicly
The chances of people taking you seriously
Are even less than that of Netherlands winning this year's Men's Cricket World Cup!!
It may have been seventy-six years
Since we gained independence
However, the reality is
We are as much independent
As Salman Khan knows how to drive a car
Without killing people in the process
As I mentioned earlier, I used to be a patriot
However, when I think of India now
I feel a remarkably similar kind of shame
That I used to experience during my Engineering days
Whenever I failed in a subject
After all, when your country's international image
Takes precedence over the living conditions of your people
Then it is only a matter of time
Before you are headed down the path of the Nazis
Yes, I am an Indian
And difficult as it sounds to believe, I used to love my country
However, my love for its people
Exceeds that by thousands of miles

Your smile is like a drop of honey
Your laugh is like a Resurrection Stone
Because it can bring people back from the dead
Your voice is like one of the symphonies composed by Beethoven
If looks could ****
I would probably be dead by now
If I were to make eye contact with you, that is!
Hey, I was just kidding!!
But yes, your glare is so intense
That it can even force Lord Voldemort
To fall at your feet
And beg for mercy
Thus giving him a taste of his own medicine!!!
Your expressions keep changing
Like the colours of a chameleon
If someone were to wake you up
In the middle of the night
And force you to act
You would do it as naturally
As flying comes to Harry Potter
Yet, in spite of all the fame and glamour in your life
You are as humble as Michael Faraday
With a heart as pure as that of Goddess Sita
Again just kidding, you are as human as I am
Only infinitely more beautiful
From the outside as well as from the inside
And I am extremely thankful to you
Not only for your movies
But also for inspiring me to write better poetry
In a way that even William Wordsworth wouldn't have been able to pull off!!!

Ever since the movies "Ghajini" and "Anniyan" were released
About eighteen years ago
I was transformed
From an AR Rahman enthusiast
To a Harris Jayaraj fanatic
He is not only a music director
But also an artist par excellence
When you listen to some of his songs
Your feet begin tapping
Right from the word go
Some songs evoke a plethora of conflicting emotions
Happiness, sorrow, amazement, shock
Love, hatred, excitement, a sense of calm
And the list goes on and on
However, the best among the lot
Are undoubtedly the lilting melodies
Particularly the ones sung by Bombay Jayashri
Even the most bitter cynic
Can transform into a hopeless romantic
After listening to such gems
Then there are the "soup songs"
Every man or woman
Who has gone through a heartbreak
Or for that matter, a divorce
Derives a lot of solace from such beauties
Which have the capacity
To tug at your heartstrings
And finally
There are the "kuthu songs"
These will make you dance all night
As if there were no tomorrow
However, more than the songs
It is Harris' background music
Which transports you into a different planet altogether
Many movies which might have flopped otherwise
Have become hits
Thanks to the BGMs
Composed by this incredible gentleman
If movies can be compared with cricket
The actors are the eleven players
With the 12th man being the music composer
And when that composer is Harris
The team's victory is almost guaranteed
Dear Harris Sir, we have listened to your music
For more than two decades
It is our sincere wish and prayer
That you make a strong comeback
Like Australia did against South Africa a few days ago
After being seemingly down and out at one stage
And amaze us all once more
With the kind of magic you used to produce
During your heydays
Something that cannot be replicated
Even by Professor Dumbledore or Lord Voldemort

When I met you for the first time
It could hardly be called "love at first sight"
But I thought you were a very decent human being
Someone whom I could trust
And after meeting your family
That feeling only deepened
And once we began speaking over the phone
On an almost daily basis
I felt as though we had established some sort of understanding
Therefore, I agreed to marry you
Our engagement was a very simple affair
But I got to know your family better
And after we took you on a tour, the very next day
My emotional attachment towards you only grew
And slowly and steadily
I began to like you in the romantic sense
In fact, I even helped you financially
And it was quite a significant amount
Then we met again
For the purpose of marriage registration
I took you out on a date
And we really enjoyed each other's company
Then the pandemic struck
And things were never the same again
Our marriage was postponed indefinitely
Naturally, you were very upset
But to start ignoring me and my family completely
Was way out of line
Nevertheless, we thought you needed some space
Hence we didn't complain
However, after you started speaking to me again
I noticed a significant change
You were not as enthusiastic
As you used to be earlier
And you were free to talk only after 9 PM
These were all red flags
But my heart couldn't acknowledge that
And I thought things would eventually work out
After we finally got married
How wrong I was!
I gave you as much attention as I could
Which included watching serials along with you
Frankly speaking, I have never been a fan of Indian serials
But I made an effort, just for your sake
I even combed my hair the way you suggested
And grew a beard and moustache
Even though I usually prefer to be clean shaven
I did all this
So that we could develop a deeper bond
And more importantly, you could be happier
But did you truly care?
Every time I made an effort to start a conversation
You told me the same thing
That is, we would eventually talk more over time
Your coldness was killing me from inside
But I kept mum
Because I thought you truly cared for me
The way I cared for you
Again, how wrong I was!!
You spent more time on the phone
Than talking to me
You even had the nerve
To mock my tummy
Usually I am very sensitive about such things
But I controlled my feelings
Again, for your sake!!
You were in bed most of the time
Of course, that was understandable to a certain extent
Because you were pregnant
But to protest every time I called you for dinner
Was simply too much
Nevertheless, I truly loved you
Hence, I made excuses for you
From time to time
Even after the shocking results of the ultrasound test
I believed that you were innocent
And that you were being discriminated against
On the basis of class and caste
When my best friend tried to open my eyes
To the hard and cold reality
That lay before me
You got super possessive
And forced me to stop talking to her
Meanwhile, your best friend tried to brainwash me
As to your innocence
And both of you did your very best
To try and turn me against my family
Because of you, I was trapped in a prison
And had no idea how to escape
Until you finally admitted your wrongdoings
But you still had the nerve
To ask us to take you back
After all that you did
And, worst of all, you lied about me
To my mother and my best friend
And played the victim card
I loved you and you betrayed me
But that is only the tip of the iceberg
You took advantage of my autism
And manipulated me in such a manner
That it destroyed my self-confidence
I was in a state of depression
For more than a month
And had to go through a rather painful divorce process
During which, you played not only the victim card
But also the caste card
And on top of that
Your cunning lawyer tried to deceive you
In order to obtain a truckload of cash
And it was us who set things right
By convincing you to go for mutual consent
Nevertheless, we still had to pay you four lakhs
On "humanitarian" grounds
And you never returned the jewels we gave you
Anyway, you may now be leading a normal life
Like any other person
Who knows, you might even have got married again
There is absolutely nothing to stop you
From telling people a pack of lies about our divorce
However, as long as I live
I can never forgive you
For using me the way you did
And throwing my love back on my face
There is a famous quote
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
Well, it applies to men too
Especially me

When I first met you
It was at the office
I took a liking to you instantly
And I guess the feeling was mutual
You were incredibly nice
And could go on talking
As though nothing could stop you
In fact, it felt as though we already knew each other
And that too for a few years
For some reason
I felt I could trust you with anything and everything
Therefore, it didn't come as a surprise
That we soon became good friends
As far as work was concerned
You were always very supportive and helpful
And I never ever felt bored
While having a conversation with you
Because you could speak on a number of topics
Work, family, politics
Travel, movies, food
The list goes on and on
Moreover, it helped that we had similar views
Especially when it came to politics
On the whole, it was an honour to work with you
Though you couldn't stay for long
Anyway, we have been keeping in touch
And you always read my poems
Something that I appreciate a lot
You are also a very loving mother
I'm sure your kids must be proud of you
Especially the way you strike a balance
Between family and work
I am really happy that we spoke recently
And that too for over twenty minutes
Something that we must do more often
As you yourself mentioned
Anyway, take care and let's catch up soon
And yes, please convey my regards to your family

What did I lack, as a friend?
I always helped you
Even when I was busy
I provided you moral support
I stood up for you
When you were made fun of
I took time out for you
As and when I could
I even invited you over to my home
Along with my other friends
And my mother and grandmother took great trouble
To ensure that you all had a delicious lunch
They treated you like a family member
And after college, I continued to keep in touch
As much as I could
Though I made new friends, during my MBA
I never ever forgot you
Also, in case you forgot
It was you
Who wanted to be friends with me in the first place
At a time when I was too shy
To initiate conversations with girls
You broke me out of my shell
So, I thought it was obvious
That you cared for me
How wrong I was
You just saw me as a project
Which eventually got completed
After we left college
I was nothing more to you
Than a tool, to be used and thrown
I was never truly a friend to you
Though you called me your best friend
And that too multiple times
You took offense over a harmless comment
And cut me off from your life
It never occurred to you
That I could be very sensitive
And therefore such an incident could impact me adversely
Including destroying my self-esteem
And creating trust issues
Anyway, you may be flying high at the moment
But keep in mind
That, as the ancient cliche goes
"What goes around comes around"
I have nothing more to say
Except that you can try to be a better human being
And think about other people as well
After all, the world doesn't revolve around you alone

You were my neighbour
And I felt good vibes from you
Right from the start
We soon became good friends
And as the years passed by, our bond strengthened
Now, I see you as not just a friend
But also a family member
You are very simple and humble
Not to mention, loyal to a fault
However, underneath your calm exterior
Lies a burning passion
Especially when it comes to gaming and Hindu mythologies
The best part about you
Is that you always want to do the right thing
Even if it means losing friends in the process
Of course, as I told you recently
Those people are not truly friends
But haters in disguise
You are also extremely selfless
A quality that makes you very likeable
And at the same time, vulnerable
Anyway, as I said before
You are as good as a family member to me
And your family also sees me
As one of its own
Our phone conversations are usually very long
And I love how you take time out for me
Right in the middle of your busy schedule
I feel I can trust you
With anything and everything
Just remain the way you are
And believe in yourself a little more
Take care and see you soon da!

Dear Urvashi, wish you a belated happy birthday!!
I've known you for less than a year
However, that doesn't take away the fact
That we've always shared a cordial relationship
Not just as colleagues
But also as good friends
Right from the day we met
I knew that we would get along
Like peas in a pod
As you told me recently
Our conversations have always been meaningful
Whether it be work or personal stuff
I've never felt dull or bored
While interacting with you
You understand me very well
I can be weird sometimes
But that has never bothered you
Because the only thing that truly matters to you
As far as a relationship is concerned
Is character
In fact, that's the way it should be
Also, I've always enjoyed working with you
You are very talented
And your communication skills are top-notch
Not to mention, you are super helpful
I am sure you will make us all proud
As far as your career is concerned
Of course, luck hasn't always been on your side
But you just need to believe in yourself
Stand in front of the mirror
Tell yourself "I can do it"
And you will do it
You also have a fun side
This was on display
When we had the team lunch at Canto
And the team dinner at TOIT
Oh boy, when you talk
You go on and on
As though nothing can stop you
And I feel so comfortable with you
That it almost seems
As though I'm talking to a family member
Finally, you are very sweet and caring
Something that I've particularly noticed
When it comes to your family
By the way, please give my regards to them
And hope you had a great time yesterday
Take care and may the Lord bless you
With loads of love, success, happiness and peace

When all hopes are dashed
When nothing goes right
When water turns into sludge
Gold turns into rusted iron
Love turns into Hatred
Happiness turns into Despair
Friendship turns into Betrayal
And last but not the least
Good turns into Evil
I think of you
To the world, you may be an actress
But to me, you represent Hope
Your smile tells me
That everything is going to be all right soon
Your laugh tells me
To forget all my troubles
And come up with jokes instead
Including those that make fun of our government
Without the fear of getting arrested
Your sweet voice tells me
To listen to Harris Jayaraj melodies
So that I can stay calm
Even when facing an angry cobra
Who is itching to send me back to my maker
Your expressions tell me
That life is an emotional rollercoaster
Full of ups and downs
And sometimes it is okay not to be happy
Or to experience mood swings
And finally
Your dance moves tell me
That sometimes you just need to play kuthu songs
And dance like Legend Saravanan
No matter what the society says
And yes, I don't know you well
You probably haven't even heard of me
But thank you for entering my life
And finding a way to keep me sane
Even when I am surrounded by chaos on all sides
And there is no escape route

Dear Nithya
Wish you a very very happy birthday!!
I am sure this birthday will be that much more special
Given the momentous event that is going to happen
An event that will change your life for the better
Well, I've known you since I was a kid
Though we haven't met frequently
Nor have we spoken a lot
But I've always been fond of you
You are a very nice person
Very warm, friendly and jovial by nature
You bring a lot of cheer
To everyone around you
Not a single moment with you
Can ever be called "boring"
You are so witty
That the Sorting Hat will scream "Ravenclaw!!"
The moment it touches your head
Also, you are very sensitive
And care deeply about your family, cousins and friends
We've had some great times
Whether it be India, US or Ireland
Coming to Ireland, you were an excellent tour guide
The incredible views of the Pacific Ocean from the Cliffs of Moher
Continue to give me goosebumps to this day
And Glendalough Upper Lake was nothing less than Paradise on Earth!!
Finally, I shall never forget the moment
When we had the finest Irish beer, at Temple Bar
Then, as far as US was concerned
The cruise on Lake Michigan was absolutely unforgettable
As were the views from Hancock Tower
Not to mention, the picnic we had at the Chicago Bean!!
Anyway, coming back to you
I hope you have a day to remember
Wish you loads of love, happiness and merriment
And may the Lord bless you!!

When I met you
I developed an instant liking
Though it was not in a romantic sense
You seemed to be a bit shy
But at the same time, quite friendly
Not to mention, down-to-earth
We got along nicely
And when I met your family
I was impressed
Not due to wealth, class or social status
But because of the fact that they were all very good human beings
With no attitude or airs whatsoever
And they were already okay to accept me as one of their own
Well, we soon started speaking over the phone
On a daily basis
And since we had developed a good understanding
I agreed to marry you
The engagement was a simple affair
But I got the feeling
That we were a cute couple
Especially when we took you on a trip
Right after the engagement
As I mentioned earlier
Though I didn't have any romantic feelings
When I first met you
They soon started to develop
During the period between the engagement and the marriage
I even funded your marriage expenses
Because I trusted you
Never did I imagine
That you would eventually betray my trust
Especially after the date we had in Pondicherry
Of course, COVID19 struck
And our marriage had to be postponed indefinitely
Naturally, you were very upset
I myself was quite depressed
But I thought we could at least talk it out
Instead, you started avoiding me
As well as my family
I let it slide
Since I truly loved you
Eventually, after a week or so, we started talking again
However, things were definitely not the same as earlier
I could sense a lack of enthusiasm from your side
Moreover, you were free to talk only around 9 PM
Though ideally you should have been free throughout the day
Considering you lost your job due to COVID
Something for which you were duly compensated
By my father, who kept sending you money every month without fail
Anyway, I let it slide again
Because I loved you
On the eve of our wedding, I wrote a heart-touching poem
Which was appreciated by almost everybody
Except the person for whom it was written
That is, you
Anyway, I thought things would change
Once the wedding finally happened
However , they didn't
I made many attempts to strike a conversation
But you were only interested in watching your precious serials
I too began to watch them, for your sake
Mind you, I am no fan of serials
But I thought I should make an exception
For my dear wife
However, was I ever dear to you?
You never talked to me on your own
And when I tried to talk to you
You kept repeating the same thing
That we would eventually talk at some stage
I kept wondering and wondering
As to when that "stage" would eventually arrive
Then came the ultrasound pregnancy test
With its shocking results
From then on, you were a changed person
You kept clinging to me
And refused to let me out of your sight
You even forced me
To stop talking to my best friend
And your own best friend did her best
To make me feel as guilty as possible
Blinded by love, as I was
I refused to listen to reason
Believing that you were being discriminated against
Because of your class and caste
When you finally confessed
That you had slept with another guy
You couldn't even look me in the eye
Because of your betrayal, I went through depression
For more than a month
I am not going to waste my time
Discussing the tedious and protracted divorce process
But you took advantage of me
And my frigging autism
You lied to me and cheated me
And I loved you
Yes, it sounds difficult to believe
But I genuinely loved you
And was thus made to suffer
It's time all feminazis take note of this
Rather than jumping into conclusions
And blaming the male whenever there is a divorce
Or even an estrangement
That's all I have to say
Amen!

Recruitment is a difficult job
Surely, everyone knows that
It is like chasing a target of 350 in 50 overs
However, when you are hiring Investment Bankers
The target remains the same
But the pitch, which is a belter as of now
Suddenly acquires a greenish hue
And the ball starts swinging and seaming
One mistake, and you are back to the pavilion
Meanwhile, the asking rate keeps climbing
Thus, the pressure keeps building
Yes, that's how tricky Investment Bankers are
At least as far as India is concerned
However, European Investment Bankers are a different ballgame altogether
The target continues to be the same
As does the nature of the pitch
However, now you have to chase the target in 40 overs!!
Well, you decide to steel yourself
To bat out of your skins
And do manage to hit a few ***** out of the park
However, your joy is short-lived
As you go for one boundary too many
Only to get caught at deep square leg
More and more batsmen follow
And try their level best
To keep the required run rate under control
But the wickets keep tumbling
Meanwhile, your last hope, Hardik Pandya, arrives at the crease
And takes the game by the scruff of the neck
While at the other end, Virat Kohli stands strong
And the pair manage to build a partnership of 100
However, the European I-Bankers end up having the last laugh
As Virat gets run out
While going for a quick single
And Hardik goes for a maximum
Only to get caught
Just inside the boundary line
By now, you know, as do the European I-Bankers
That the game is well and truly up
Unless a miracle happens
Well, all you can say
Is "Better Luck next time"
Also, welcome to the world of hiring European Investment Bankers

Whenever I start work
You are the first person
Who enters my mind
It is you who I think of
Whenever I am feeling low
Because your smile is so magical
That it makes me forget all my worries
And step into a whole new universe
Full of happiness and love
Peace, Hope, Freedom
Wonder, Warmth, Gratitude
And above all, sheer positivity
Your laugh transports me to seventh heaven
When you cry, I cry along with you
Because I feel your pain
When you are angry, I feel your righteous indignation
And it makes my blood boil
Such that, I feel like punishing the person
Who dared to wrong you
You are indeed an amazing actress
Blessed with exceptional talent
And at the same time, willing to put in the hard yards
And unwilling to let success go to your head
Not to mention, you are a wonderful human being
With a heart of gold
A person who is not afraid of speaking her mind
No matter how mercilessly our society might judge her
Well, I've had my share of celebrity crushes
However, you are something else, entirely
And I don't want to put pressure on you
But I am sure you will become a huge star
As long as you remain the way you are
Wish you all the very best
And last but not the least
Please keep smiling, as always

You were my colleague
Until a few weeks ago
Whenever I came to office
It was your presence
That brought a smile to my face
After the exhausting commute from my home
By the dreaded Mumbai locals
You were a ball of energy
And I felt so comfortable with you
That it was as though I was interacting with a family member
We had an excellent rapport
And I truly enjoyed working with you
I can never forget our team lunch at Canto
And of course, the grand team dinner at TOIT
On both occasions, all of us had a wonderful time
However, it was always you
Who turned out to be the life of the party
You are sweet and innocent
And your laughter is so infectious
That it makes us forget all our worries
And live in the moment
You may not be my colleague now
But you are still a good friend of mine
And will always be
It would be great if we can catch up again soon
Meanwhile, I wish you all the very best
For your career as well as your personal life
And last but not the least
Please keep smiling, as always

Let's say I am in love with Ms. B
Being a hypothetical situation, there is no need to use proper names
So, here it goes
Dear B,
You mean the world to me
For you, I am willing to do anything
That is, of course, anything ethical
You can rant all day as you like
I will listen, understand and empathise
I can be a shoulder for you to cry on
Your happiness, is all that matters to me
You lose your temper? that's fine
After all, it happens to me too
More frequently that you would imagine
You need some space?
Of course, I will give you space
I understand what it means
To be surrounded by people all the time
And thus end up losing the opportunity
To have some "me time"
After all, not only am I an introvert
I am also autistic
And too much talking often drains the hell outta me
Except when it comes to topics I am comfortable with
Such as trains, Harris Jayaraj music, food, Harry Potter
Agatha Christie ****** mysteries, cricket, tennis
And of course, anything to do with Aishwarya Lekshmi
Anyway, I will do my very best
To make our relationship work
I will always be there for you
Through good and bad times
Of course, that doesn't mean
That I will be overprotective
You must have your independence
I'm pretty sure you can take care of yourself
However, when it comes to a situation
Where you end up biting more than you can chew
You just have to say the word
And I will be at your side
You have a few male friends
With whom you are intimate?
That's completely okay with me
Of course, my best friend is a woman
You should be okay with that
Remember, it works both ways
Then, there is the sheer pain you have to go through
When it comes to having a baby
In order to avoid that, I am open for adoption
Or even test tube babies
Of course, only if you are okay with either option
Remember, I will always love you
Whether you are at your best
Or at your worst
However, I expect the same from you as well
As I mentioned earlier, I am autistic
Which means I am socially awkward
And also socially awkward
Though I come from a vegetarian family
I eat a lot of meat
Chicken, mutton, prawn, pork, beef
You name it, you have it
Of course, unfortunately not within the boundaries of my home
Also, my political views are often radical
For instance, I do not consider Kashmir as a part of India
And I am all for a radical redistribution of power
On the basis of class and caste
Such that the poor and the underprivileged get back what is theirs
In fact, what has been theirs for three thousand years
Also, though I was born a Hindu
I actually pray to Jesus
That is, I have been doing it for the last nine months
But I don't go to church
Nor do I follow any traditions or rituals
Jesus is simply a friend to me
I believe everything will work out eventually
If I place my faith in him
Finally, I am not interested in ***
Except as a means of reproduction
I need emotional and psychological intimacy
I will share everything with you
And I expect the same from you as well
If you are okay with all this
Then we can be a team
Until Death do us part
If you are not okay
Then maybe we can just be friends
If you are not comfortable with that as well
Then we are free
To go our own separate ways
On this note, let me end my musings
And return to reality

When I started my MBA
I was looking forward to making new friends
And of course, excelling in academics
And thus redeeming myself
After my Engineering debacle
However, it never occurred to me
That I would fall in love
For the first time in my life
You changed everything
Right from our second meeting
I was drawn towards you
You were very shy
But in a good way
And of course, extremely sweet-natured
The kind of person who wouldn't hurt a fly
Though you didn't know much Tamil
In spite of being a Tamilian
Your English more than made up for that
You didn't speak a lot
However, when you did speak
You were able to articulate your thoughts exceedingly well
And though we never had a detailed conversation
Apart from our debate on the movie "Ra One"
It was always a pleasure to interact with you
And of course, listen to your captivating voice
Last but not the least
Your handwriting was so exquisite
That it had the capability
To transform the dullest subject
Into an extremely fascinating one
Anyway, I truly loved you
But I couldn't muster the courage
To ask you out
However, I don't have any regrets whatsoever
And regardless of where you are currently
I hope you are having the time of your life
Just one last thing
I am utterly gobsmacked
That you knew all along
Something that I could never guess
From the way you spoke to me
Or behaved with me in general
You are indeed an incredible lady
And I hope you remain the way you are
Because the world needs more people like you

We've known each other
For more than ten years
Initially we were neighbours
And it didn't take a lot of time
For us to get along with each other
Moreover, it also helped
That my maternal grandmother
Was a good friend of your mother
So, we soon became good friends
Since we had a lot in common
The most important of all
Was the fact that we lacked friends
And by "friends" I mean true friends
With whom we could share anything
And who were always ready to help us
If the need arose
Well, I badly needed such a friend
And I am really glad to say
That you fit the bill very well indeed
Because you are extremely humble and unassuming
Don't judge anyone
Possess a lot of patience
Don't get angry easily
Are very gentle by nature
And above all, are thoroughly loyal and trustworthy
Whenever I've visited your home
I've always been treated like a family member
Your mother is extremely kind and sweet by nature
And understands me as well
As my own family does
I've also enjoyed visiting your game centre
And watching movies for free
You are very talented indeed
And I hope and pray
That all that hard work you've been putting in
Finally pays off one day
I feel very comfortable sharing things with you
Seriously, it gives me a lot of relief
Since you are a great listener
And more empathetic than you give yourself credit for
Similarly, you are also welcome
To share anything and everything with me
I am always ready to listen
And offer you moral support
Last but not the least
I will always help you whenever you are in need
Take care, keep smiling and may God bless you da

There are times
When I wish I could be a child again
Because, as far as adulthood is concerned
There is a lot of pressure and expectations
And many complications as well
Work, relationships, time, money, health
The list is endless
Also, let us not forget
That I am a divorcee
And yearning for a second marriage
Or at least, some kind of romantic relationship
And at the same time
I have to deal with work as well
Anyway, I wish I could be a child again
Because my childhood was awesome
Lots of love
From my family, cousins and relatives
Playing cricket with one of my close cousins
Going on train trips with family
Having fun with schoolmates
Including enacting the part of a Japanese anime princess!!
Playing chess with my maternal grandfather
Watching the golden era of Sachin Tendulkar
Listening to AR Rahman classics
Watching the best movies of Superstar Rajinikanth
Playing tennis with my father
During my second visit to Mumbai
And best of all
Having a life free of tension and worries
Except of course, as far as studies were concerned!!
Well, there were bad times too
For instance, the bullying I faced
Which forced me to leave a renown school
In the span of just one week!!
Nevertheless, on the whole
My childhood is something to be cherished forever
And reflecting back on it as an adult
I am filled with a sense of nostalgia
Being a Potterhead, I wish I could use a Time Turner
And go back in time
In order to revisit all those fond memories in person
Yes, I am not ashamed to say
That I wish I could be a child again

We met about seven years ago
And I had the great pleasure
Of working with you
You were warm and friendly
As well as extremely helpful and supportive
Whenever I got stuck on a mandate
I knew I could turn to you for guidance
However, the best part was
You were uber cool
Nothing could ever shake you
And even if I struggled sometimes
You never pushed me to deliver
Something that I appreciated immensely
Of course, you were my Team Lead
But you are also a good friend of mine
Though it's been a very long time
Since we last met
We have been keeping in touch
Every now and then
You not only put up with my rants
But also advise me from time to time
Whether it be work or personal issues
I am also very happy
That you are now a mother
I'm sure you will do wonders
As a mother and a wife
And also as a HR professional
Please continue to be the amazing human being that you are
And I hope to catch up with you soon
Take care and wish you loads of happiness, love, good health and success

You may think that you are just another actress
But there is something truly special about you
Your eyes burn with a fire
That refuses to die, no matter what
Your expressions are priceless
If magic truly existed
Your smile would have worked like a love potion
Sweeping me off my feet
And into your outstretched arms
When it comes to acting, though
You show a wide range of emotions
Happy, sad, angry
Confused, depressed, disappointed
And whatnot!!
You are truly the Queen of Mollywood
And the Rising Star of Kollywood
However, success hasn't gone to your head
You are humble and unassuming by nature
But you don't have a filter
When it comes to expressing your views
Something that I can totally relate to
All in all, your mere presence
Has the capacity to render me speechless
And I am ready to watch any movie of yours
Irrespective of the genre
You are the reason I am able to smile
Through all the pain I face in life
Of course, I am sure you have thousands of ardent admirers
But you mean the world to me
Just remain the way you are
Keep chasing your dreams
And I am sure you will do wonders
Take care and wish you all the very best!!

You are not exactly a sibling of mine
However, you are my sister
And that's all that matters, according to me
What would I do without you?
I rant and rant
Knowing that you are an amazing listener
And a shoulder to cry on
However, it is providing sound advice
Where you are really in your element
Not to mention, you don't beat around the bush
Nor do you sugarcoat things
Both of which, are qualities that resonate with me particularly well
Moreover, you always offer a fresh perspective
Whether it be work or personal stuff
Best of all, though, you are ice cool
I seriously don't know how you manage to do it
Because, in these two months, I've been behind you
And there hasn't been a single week
When you haven't been subjected to a barrage of messages
Would I have taken such liberties with you
If I weren't sure how you would react?
The answer is a resounding no
Moreover, not only are you cool with it
You also come up with solutions
For each and every problem
As I write this, things are looking up
And in no small part due to you
I'm extremely grateful to God
For giving me a sister like you
As I said earlier, what would I do without you?

You people never took me seriously
For you, I was just a problem child
Who needed to be molded
According to your whims and fancies
You never saw me as an individual
Who has his own thoughts, feelings and emotions
My opinions never mattered to you
You wanted me to improve my verbal communication
As well as my body language
But you never even tried to understand me properly
It never occurred to you
That there is a reason why I am different
Or even if it did, you never truly cared
What bothered me the most, though
Was the fact
That you believed you were acting in my best interests
Of course, it was my mistake
Not to leave this accursed country
While I had the chance
And seek my fortunes elsewhere
A mistake I may probably regret
For the rest of my life
Anyway, as Arabella Figg once said
"There's no good crying over spilt potion"
I was a fool to listen to you
But I have progressed in life
Far more than you would've expected me
And not because of you
But in spite of you
Well, I would love to meet you one of these days
And prove to you
That verbal communication is overrated
Just like you yourselves are
We autistic people can do equally well, if not better
As compared to you neurotypicals
Who are obsessed with correcting others
Well, please look into the mirror
And just leave us alone
Worse than an enemy, is an NT with a saviour complex
Well, we can see right through you
You may think you are being kind and empathetic
However, in reality, you are just a bunch of condescending wankers
Who believe they are always right
Well, there is nothing wrong in having your own views
Just try not to force them down our throats
I will end on this note
Autistic people are human beings too
It is time you learned to appreciate that

You are seen as weird
People often call you "Loony"
But they couldn't be more wrong
Yes, you are indeed different
But then, every individual is unique
And I like you as you are
With all your pros and cons
Yes, you may believe in things
Which do not really exist
But then, who doesn't?
What truly matters
Is the fact that you are a beautiful human being
With a heart of gold
Who doesn't judge anyone
Sees people as they are
Doesn't shy away from speaking uncomfortable truths
Is modest to a fault
And last but not the least
Values friendship above everything else
You know, I can relate to you
I am also different
And got bullied for that
Just as you did
However, your mental strength is remarkable
After losing your mother at a very young age
That too due to a freak accident
You have shown the courage and fortitude
Not to mention, resilience and tenacity
To carry on with your life
Do your best to excel at magic
Display the natural curiosity and aptitude for learning
Which is expected of every Ravenclaw
Develop and sustain friendships
And finally, put your life on the line
In order to try and make the world a better place for all
You are not only a true Ravenclaw
But also possess the courage, nerve and daring of a Gryffindor
And the loyalty and sense of justice of a Hufflepuff
You only lack the cunning and ambition of a Slytherin
Not to mention, you were kidnapped and held hostage by Death Eaters
That too for a few months
And somehow emerged almost unscathed
After such a traumatic experience
You really are an incredible witch
Please remain the way you are
No matter what people say
And I will be a fan of yours
Until, as Neville would say, "Hell freezes over"

Though you didn't exactly give birth to me
You raised me, right from the start
Ensured that I was always happy
Took me to countless places
Sent me to the best schools possible
Put up with my tantrums
Scolded me when I was out of line
And at the same time, pampered me every now and then
Moreover, our bond strengthened over time
I began to share things with you
That I'd previously shared only with Amma
And I found, to my delight
That you were an equally good listener
Understood me to a great extent
And showed a lot of empathy
Especially during crisis situations
Such as my divorce
I really enjoyed our trip to London
Which brought us, if possible, even closer
Of course, I also had the company
Of my sister and a couple of relatives
However, it was mainly due to you
That I had such a good time
I'll end on this note
Please be the way you are
And wish you a very Happy Father's Day in advance!!

I have never met you
And you don't even know I exist
But you have cast a spell on me
From which it would be very difficult to recover
Your eyes blaze with an intensity
That can even melt steel
Your smile is so beautiful
That it cannot be surpassed
Even by that of Mona Lisa
Your laugh is so musical
That even the songs of AR Rahman
Would pale in comparison
Your hairstyle is an art in itself
Your dress sense is so impeccable
That it would put even the finest Italian designers to shame
And last but not the least
We come to your acting
A Sri Lankan Tamil dancer *** revolutionary
In the movie "Jagame Thanthiram"
A humble and yet powerful boatwoman
In "PS1" and "PS2"
A fierce wrestler with short hair
Forced to become a submissive housewife with long hair
In "Gatta Kusthi"
And finally
A teacher dealing with troublesome students
As well as impending layoffs and rejected marriage proposals
In "Archana 31 Not Out"
Given any kind of role, you play it to perfection
Born with oodles of natural talent
You nevertheless refuse to rest on your laurels
And put your heart and soul
Into the profession which you hold so dear
You are an inspiration to one and all
Forced to do an MBBS
By your extremely conservative parents
You have nevertheless the courage
To break free of the shackles placed on you
And pursue your own dreams
What's more, the risks you have taken off
Have ultimately paid off
You are the numero uno of present day Mollywood
And flying high in Kollywood as well
Yes, you have cast a spell on me
But it was a spell, that I refused to resist
And rightly so

I initially came to know you through Tamil
This was more than eight years ago
Since then, a lot has happened over the years
You and Tamil are one of my favourite couples
The understanding between the pair of you
Is deeper than the Pacific Ocean
And stronger than the Rock of Gibraltar
You are not only a very caring husband
But also a proud father
Of a very spirited child
Who is rather naughty
But at the same time, rather sweet and innocent
I am extremely thankful to you
For taking such good care of my best friend
But it's not just about Tamil
You yourself are a good friend of mine
Always supportive and encouraging
I can never forget the time
When you and Tamil were instrumental
In saving me from a disaster of a marriage
You are also extremely hardworking
And put your heart and soul into your profession
Please remain the way you are
Keep rocking and see you soon!

I've known you for close to two years
We've had a great rapport as colleagues
Though I am technically your senior
I've always seen you as an equal
In fact, we often think on the same lines
You've helped me out on numerous occasions
And in turn, I too have helped you
More times than I can count
I can never forget your words of encouragement
When I was going through a difficult phase last year
And after meeting you in person
We've learned a lot more about each other
For some reason, I feel I can tell you anything
Whether it be professional or personal
You are extremely cool and level headed
And capable of handling any situation
On top of that, you have a fun side as well
Which ensures that a conversation with you would never be boring
Not to mention, you've suffered quite a few losses
Which has made you battle-hardened
As far as I know
Nothing is impossible for you
You are also very warm and friendly
And thus talking to you
Feels like talking to a family member
You are not merely a colleague
But also a good friend and sister
Please be the way you are
And continue to do your very best
That's all I have to say for now

You may not remember me
As it has been ages
Since we last spoke
However, I probably won't be able to forget you
Right from the moment we met
I was drawn to you like a magnet
You were shy to a fault
And extremely sweet-natured
As I got to know you better
It didn't matter to me
That though you were a Tamilian
You spoke only in English
Because you were a great listener
And when you did speak
You were able to articulate your thoughts
Better than almost everyone in our college
Your mere presence was enough
To ensure that I didn't miss a single class
Except when my health was down
It is often said
That people lose focus
After falling in love
However, on the contrary
Thanks to you, I was able to develop extra focus
And achieve better grades
You inspired me
In a way that no one could have done
We once had a debate
On a rather forgettable movie
It didn't matter that our views were different
What mattered was your energy and intensity
And that fact that you took time out
To debate with a person whom you didn't know very well
You even taught me some tax calculations
Of course, it was a case of unrequited love
But totally worth it
And what was even better
Was the fact that you had known all along
And yet didn't shy away from talking to me
You really are one of a kind
As I mentioned earlier , I will never forget you

Ever since I watched you act in the movie "Jagame Thanthiram"
I knew there was something special about you
You took on a very complex role
And brought a lot of character into it
Next came PS1
Though your role was limited
You did full justice to the character of "Poonguzhali"
Right from the moment you emerged from the water
To your feisty dialogues with "Vanthiyathevan"
However, your finest hour
Came in the film "Gatta Kusthi"
Where your character "Keerthi" had to undergo a number of transformations
From a fierce wrestler with short hair
To a simple housewife with long hair
And back
The scene where you singlehandedly fought off all those armed goons
Is one I'll never forget
For the rest of my life
Then we come to the movie "Archana 31 Not Out"
Though, in my opinion, there wasn't anything remarkable
About the movie as a whole
You again did full justice to your character
Right from the travails of your job as a teacher
Including handling a class full of troublemaking students
And dealing with a lot of uncertainty
Due to the impending layoffs
To facing a number of rejected marriage proposals
For all of which you assigned cricketing terms
And finally the ****** scene
Where you delivered a speech
That brought goosebumps to one and all
You are not only an amazing actress
But also a wonderful human being
Bold and brutally honest
And humble and down-to-earth at the same time
Yes, you don't know me
Nor would you have even heard of me
But I can say with a lot of pride
That I will always be a fan of yours

You come from God's own country
And radiate such a beautiful aura
That, unless my eyes are deceived
It seems that you are God herself
Just kidding, you are a human being like any other
A rather beautiful one, though
Your smile is so divine
That it can melt even the hardest of hearts
Your laugh is so infectious
That it can send the entire planet
Into a fit of violent giggles
Your glare is so intense
That it can even **** Lord Voldemort
Faster than it takes to utter the words "Avada Kedavra" !!
Your Tamil accent is so cute
That even a newborn baby would pale in comparison
Your English is so brilliant
That it would put even the Oxford dictionary to shame
Your acting is so superlative
That it would surpass even the drama of Shakespeare plays!!
And finally, I have to shamelessly admit
That I wish I were born in an alternate universe
Where you and I could be together
For the rest of our lives
Because you are not only an accomplished actress
But also a beautiful human being
The heroine who captured my heart

To quote Athos from "The Three Musketeers"
"You are not a woman
You are a demon escaped from Hell"
When I first met you as a colleague
I made the mistake
Of getting friendly with you
When I should have ensured
That our relationship was going to be strictly professional
Of course, you had your own ways
Of charming those whom you came in contact with
That is something for which I have to give you credit
Albeit grudgingly
And you were an expert
At playing the victim card
Nevertheless, after I changed jobs
I thought I had seen the last of you
However, you came back into my life
As unexpectedly as the recent rains in Chennai
Initially, it seemed kind of sweet
However, I should have realised sooner
That you had certain ulterior motives
Unfortunately, I got fooled by your sweet talk
And started helping you financially
Because you looked up to me as a brother
I never doubted you in the slightest
Which was probably the biggest mistake of my life
You took advantage of me
In the worst way possible
And kept draining my bank account
Your lies kept getting taller and taller
And I kept believing them
Because, you had me well and truly under your thumb
However, even the most credulous person in the world
Can develop suspicions at some stage
Thus, after years of being in a psychological coma
I finally managed to wake up to the harsh reality
And told my family everything
Of course, with the help of a dear family friend
After we finally confronted you
You signed a written agreement
Promising to return all my money
Within a certain deadline
That deadline has long since passed
And you have not paid even ten percent of your dues
What is worse
Is the fact that you are absconding
And giving absolutely nonsensical reasons
Which even an utter fool would find it difficult to believe
You ruined my life
Destroyed my happiness
And shattered my self-confidence
Is this the way you treat a person
Whom you have addressed as "brother"
Not once, not twice, but several times?
I am giving you one last chance
Not for your sake
But for the sake of humanity
You had better take it
Because, if not
Then you will soon find yourself in prison
Again, to quote Athos
"You are not a woman
You are a demon escaped from Hell"

I had really hoped
To forget you, once and for all
However, it seems you are always hovering around
Like an annoying little mosquito
Ready to **** the blood
Of anyone and everyone in your vicinity
And looking for that perfect window of opportunity
To mock my shortcomings
Which apparently do not exist
For your precious little "best friend"
Who has a smug smile on his face
Ready to defend you at the drop of a hat
Of course, it will only be a matter of time
Before you tire of him as well
Because, people exist merely for your needs
Which are about as realistic
As Telugu action movies are
Therefore, it is a huge irony
That you were my first female friend
Of course, I am not sure you understand
What friendship truly means
Because, you promise one thing
And then proceed to do the exact opposite
May God help that unfortunate soul
Who truly cares for you
Because s/he will be in for a rollercoaster ride
Which will never end
Until your delusional fantasies are satisfied
By the time that eventually happens
S/he would be dead
Anyway, it was you
Who wanted to be friends with me in the first place
I, being a naive idiot
Readily accepted your offer of friendship
And was with you
Through thick and thin
However, you cut me off
When you needed me no longer
I apologised to you a number of times
Not because I did anything wrong
But because your inflated ego required a massage
Alas! To you, I was nothing more than a problem child
Whom you wanted to mould
According to your whims and fancies
I was never an independent human being
Who could make his own choices
And live his life on his own terms
Your own Brahmin sensibilities matter more to you
Than a friend who genuinely cared for you
Unlike "Mr Smug Face", whom I had mentioned earlier
You destroyed my self-confidence
And turned me into an insecure wreck
God knows how many more people exist
Whom you've treated as "use and throw"
Just keep one thing in mind, though
There will surely be a time
When the tables are turned
And it is you who will become a lonely wreck
Then there will be noone
Who is ready to rush to your aid
Because, you will be forgotten; once and for all
As you deserve to be

Your expressions can ****
Before one can even utter the words "Avada Kedavra" !!
Your eyes sparkle with an intensity
That can melt even boulders
Your smile is filled with a dazzling light
Which is so bright
That it can even turn Hell into Heaven
As we are often told
"Laughter is the best medicine"
Well, your laugh is so divine
That it can even bring people back from the dead
Your sense of fashion is an art in itself
And can even put London and Paris in the shade
Most of all, you gave up a career in medicine
In order to pursue your dreams
With a courage that would have made Godric Gryffindor proud
I can't wait to watch you on the big screen
Because there is absolutely no one
Who can do justice to the character of Poonguzhali
With such a silken grace
As I am sure you will

We have never actually met
I mean physically, of course
But we've got to know each other well
Over the course of six years
When we had our first conversation
I looked up to you, as a senior colleague
In fact, I still do
Especially considering the way you handle certain clients
Who have given us a lot of trouble, over the years
And the way you manage your work
Given that you have to deal with a lot of family matters as well
Is nothing short of exemplary
However, you are not just my senior
You are a good friend of mine too
That's why I rant a lot
As far as work is concerned
Because I know you will listen and understand
And many a time, I find
That I feel much better
After sharing my issues with you
Of course, it works both ways
I am always ready to listen
When it is your turn to rant
Hopefully, it is only a matter of time
Before we eventually meet
Nevertheless, our relationship goes on to show
That it is definitely possible
For two people to be good friends
Without meeting each other face-to-face

It has often been said
That true love doesn't exist
But that doesn't stop me from dreaming
After all, I am a romantic
And it's not like I believe in true love
Only because I've read about it in books
Or seen it happen in movies and TV shows
In fact, I've experienced it myself
Not once, but twice
On the first occasion, I was young and naive
Enjoying life to its fullest
And when the love bug bit me
It was one of my happiest moments
I looked forward to every single day
And for the first time in many years
I actually made a concerted effort
To excel in academics
However, to cut a long story short
I missed the bus by a mile
When it came to confessing my feelings
Right, let's come to the second occasion
Technically, it was an arranged marriage
But for me, it was as good as a love marriage
Because, after our engagement
I grew so deeply attached to the girl
That I was blind
To all the red flags thrown at me
Every now and then
Again, to cut a long story short
It eventually ended in a divorce
However, as I've mentioned before
I have not lost hope yet
After all, time is still on my side
However, I need to draw a line somewhere
Firstly, being open and honest
Is an absolute must
I will tell you everything
But I expect the same from you as well
Secondly, I am looking for someone
Who is loyal till the very end
I will be with you
Through thick and thin
But if you cheat on me
Then it's over, once and for all
And finally
You need to accept me as I am
With my pros as well as cons
That includes understanding my autism
And the limitations it places on me
Especially as far as social interaction is concerned
Of course, it works both ways
I am not looking for a perfect person either
After all, if it's perfect
Then it's not true love
And one of the major reasons I still believe in true love
Is that it's full of imperfections
That's what makes it so endearing
And so human

We started off as colleagues
At that time, working from home was something
That was almost unheard of
Yet, we met only once or twice
In an entire month
Because you stayed really far away
Moreover, you had a family to run
We'll come back to that later
Anyway, when we met for the first time
I found you to be warm and friendly
And I said to myself
"Here's someone I can trust
Without a second thought"
I also loved your dedication to work
However, it wasn't as though you were a workaholic
On the other hand, you were quite lively
And ensured that our spirits were high
Even when there was a lot of work to be done
As I had mentioned earlier
You had to take care of work
And manage your family
At the same time
A daunting task, without an iota of doubt
Especially when there are kids involved
As well as in-laws!!
However, the way you handled the pressure
You almost made it look easy
Though the reality was vastly different
Moreover, we had some great times
I remember one occasion in particular
When we had a team lunch at Canto
The pizza we ate was extremely delicious
And full of veggies as well
Another thing that is impossible to forget
As far as that day was concerned
Was the fact that it just kept on raining!!
It was really good that you left early
Because it took me three hours to reach home!!!
I always enjoyed working with you
Because you somehow managed to find a way
To keep boredom and stress at bay
Especially that RM-Wealth mandate
On which we both struggled like anything
But you ultimately managed to close it
Hats off to your dedication, patience and perseverance
Then the pandemic struck
While I was dealing with work pressure
As well as the cloud of uncertainty
That hung over my indefinitely postponed marriage
Your words of wisdom helped me stay afloat
In those troubled waters
Meanwhile, you took a sabbatical
Thus, I missed you at work
But felt relieved for you
Since you finally got the break you deserved
After working so hard, for so long
Nevertheless, I was glad when you returned to work
Because you are not just a colleague
But a really good friend of mine
Of course, we haven't met in the last three years
Since you've permanently shifted to Udaipur
However, a friendship with such a strong foundation
As ours is built on
Does not require proximity in order to survive
Coming back to work
Just about a month ago
We were working on a huge research project
Which was extremely challenging and stressful
Yet again, you were a source of comfort for me
And ensured that I was able to keep my wits about me
And complete my work on time
Without letting pressure get the better of me
Moreover, at the same time, you did a great job yourself
Once again, hats off to your dedication, patience and perseverance
Just be the way you are
Because you are a friend to treasure

As we all know
Life is full of ups and downs
However, a lot of people advise you
To see the positive side of everything that happens
Well, it's not exactly an impossible task
But easier said than done
For instance, if you've lost someone close to you
You'd be hard-placed to find any positives in that
After all, once someone is gone
S/he is gone forever
And all that remains of him/her
Is the memories that you carry with you
Of course, you do need to move on
And you become stronger in the process
But that's still nothing
Compared to the grief you've gone through
And the pains you've taken
In order to overcome that grief
And get your life back into top gear
Anyway, let's take a less extreme example
Imagine you are in Recruitment
And handling an extremely difficult requirement
Where finding the right people
Is even more difficult
Than booking a tatkal ticket through IRCTC
You do your very best
Search frantically in various portals
Talk to a truckload of people
Face rejection after rejection
But refuse to give up
And keep on searching
As well as talking
Till you somehow manage to find a couple of relevant candidates
Who are genuinely interested
However, your client rejects them
And thus you are back to square one
Well, there is a positive side in all this
You've now got more clarity on what the client wants
Or rather, doesn't want
But look at what it has cost you
All those hours you've spent
Are not going to come back
And on top of it
The requirement has become even more difficult
So, all those people who advise you
To see the positive side of everything that happens
Need to understand, once and for all
That it may be easy for them to say such things
But actually following their own advice
Is a different matter altogether

This incident happened more than five years ago
It was a Tuesday
And I'd gone to office as usual
Which involved a long commute
From Powai to Lower Parel
By the famous Mumbai locals
A typically exhausting commute
Made worse by the fact that it was the month of August
And therefore I had to deal with the rains as well
Something seemed to be off
As far as that particular day was concerned
Quite a few of my candidates
Were not responding to my calls
And what was worse
Was the fact that it was raining cats and dogs
In fact, my boss, who was on the way to office
Got stuck somewhere in between
And ultimately gave up the ghost
Deciding to work from home instead!!
He also instructed me and my colleague to leave office
As soon as we were done with all our critical work
Since we both had brought our lunch
We decided to leave after eating
However, our troubles for the day
Were just about to begin
It was raining heavier than ever
Just as we left office
Accompanied by an acquaintance
Trains were not running on the Western line
Thus, we were forced to walk all the way to Currey Road
Instead of Lower Parel, which was much nearer
Meanwhile, my colleague, who was residing in Girgaum
Decided to take a taxi home
While our acquaintance gave me company
Since his home was near Sion
Which falls on the Central line
And is on the way to Vikhroli
Where I was supposed to get down
However, just as we entered Currey Road station
The enormity of the situation
Struck us with the force of a bullet
There was a sea of people
And a rope was placed in the middle of the platform
In order to control the crowd
On the left side of the platform, there was a local
Which was apparently stuck there for quite some time
And on the right, the track was heavily waterlogged
All these were ominous signs
That something was seriously wrong
Well, we boarded the local
And were lucky to get seats
It was a silver lining
In the darkness that was about to follow
The train was in no hurry to depart
Whenever I heard the sound of its motors
My heart would leap with a mixture of joy and relief
Since it seemed to indicate that we would start soon
However, it didn't take me long to realise
That all my hopes had been dashed
The fact was that the motors had to be switched on and off
Every now and then
Just in order to keep the engine running
In the middle of all the chaos caused by the rains
Yes, the situation was so chaotic
That a few reporters had a field day
Meanwhile, I checked in on my colleague
And his feeble voice told its own story
He had to walk all the way
From Mumbai Central, where the taxi was forced to drop him
Till his home in Girgaum!!
Moreover, our acquaintance invited me to walk with him till Sion
So that we could have an adventure!!
However, I was in absolutely no mood for such stuff
As all I wanted, was to reach home in one piece
No matter how long it took
However, the hours slowly tricked by
And the local showed absolutely no signs of moving
Again though, there was a silver lining
In the middle of all this darkness
A Marathi NGO magnificently rose to the occasion
And started distributing packets of food to the stranded passengers
It was truly like a godsend
And helped me keep my wits about
As afternoon turned to evening
And evening to night
While the water on the right side track
Was rising higher and higher
And it soon dawned on me
That the unthinkable was about to happen
That is, I had no choice
But to spend the night at Currey Road station!!!
Yes, it was an unpleasant situation indeed
But I decided to face it anyway
Since the station was a safe place after all
And as we all know
One is always safer in a crowd
Of course, sleeping wasn't going to be an easy task
I tried various positions
Each more uncomfortable than the other
Before finally dropping off to sleep
More out of sheer exhaustion than anything else
When I eventually woke up
Things were slowly limping back to normal
Trains had started moving in the opposite direction
Eventually we departed as well
Though at a snail's pace
And had a few unscheduled stops on the way
When we reached Sion, there came the next twist in the tale
We were stuck for one and a half hours
And I began to fear
That history would repeat itself
However, God was merciful enough
To ensure that it didn't happen
In fact, after we crossed Kurla
We resumed our usual pace
And reached Vikhroli in almost no time
I was home by around 11 am
And was greeted by my family
Who were thoroughly relieved
And also full of praise
Since I had maintained my cool
In such a difficult and unforeseen situation
Ultimately, it had turned out to be an adventure worth reliving
Even if not the kind of adventure
That the acquaintance had embarked upon
And wanted me to be part of

When you are stressed, upset
Angry, sad, depressed
Or just not in a good frame of mind
You usually turn to music
In order to calm your mind
And uplift your soul
Well, it is the same for me too
Except that just any music won't do
It has to be music composed by Harris Jayaraj
He comes up with songs
For almost all kinds of situations
Action, drama, suspense
Romance, love failure, family bonding
Comedy, friendship, school life, college life
Tragedy, war, crime
Urban, rural, semi-urban
The list is endless
His music has an undefinable charm
That makes you sit up and take notice
And appeals to the masses
As well as the classes
The softness of the instruments used
The variety of playback singers
And the unique fusion of Western and Indian music
Separate him from the rest
However, what he truly excels in
Are the melodies
Just listen to a few of them
And you'll feel like you've entered a different world altogether
You'll forget all your worries
And just live in the moment
In fact, that's how life should ideally be
Of course, he will also make you dance to his tunes
Just like a snake charmer
Except that the snake actually doesn't give two hoots about music
Rather, it focusses on the movements of the snake charmer
Anyway, coming back to Harris
For me, his music is the next best thing in the world
After trains and the mobile video game "Choices"
It always makes me feel better about myself
Like I can do anything in the world
Without getting swayed by the opinions of other people
Of course, there are other great musicians too
AR Rahman, Ilaiyaraaja, Hans Zimmer, John Williams
And top bands like Linkin Park, Evanescence, Boney M etc.
To name a few
However, as we say in Tanglish
Harris Jayaraj is "vera level"
And will always be

It's always good to make friends, wherever you go
After all, every new place has its set of challenges
And in order to overcome them
It's better to have someone at your side
As they say, you don't have to do everything on your own
Well, making friends may not seem all that difficult
But keeping them is a different matter altogether
There must be some common ground
The place where you meet
The company where you work
The college where you study
Your hobbies, passions etc.
And I can go on and on
However, the point is
You and your friend must be compatible with each other
Being an introvert, I don't have many friends
However, the few I do have
Can be entrusted with almost anything in the world
This poem is about one of them
We met as colleagues, six years ago
And hit it off almost from the word go
Thanks to a few common interests
Such as cricket, movies, food etc.
We even went to a storytelling event
Where he was given a chance to take the mic
And spoke about me and my passion for trains
What I particularly like about him
Is that he is very easygoing
And rarely gets angry or upset
Even when dealing with cranky clients
And he had a whole lot of them
Every client was a story in itself
We would bond while trashing these clients
Often over a cup of cutting chai
Down at the cafeteria
As the months sped by
We grew closer
Finding more and more common ground
In the form of issues we faced at work
Especially the frequent salary delays
And non-payment of incentives
We always had lunch together
Except when either of us worked from home
Eventually, my friend shifted to Pune
But we stayed in touch on a regular basis
In fact, we met on at least five occasions
And continue to speak over the phone
Almost on a monthly basis
Even after he got married, about a year ago
He, in particular, makes it a point
To call me every now and then
And we exchange news
About our respective lives
This close friend of mine is proof
That you don't necessarily have to keep meeting people
In order to maintain friendships
Of course, it is always good to meet your friends
But sometimes, all you may need
If you're missing someone
Is a simple phone call
And in this case
Our calls are usually long
Long enough to ensure
That we sustain our friendship, no matter what

I am one of those guys
Who are reticent at first
But open up, as you get to know them
And once you've loosened my tongue
There's no stopping me
As I will go on and on
Till you die of boredom
Jokes apart, I am autistic
Which means that I may struggle
When it comes to social interaction
And can often be absent-minded
However, on the brighter side
My long-term memory is really good
And autism doesn't impact my work in the slightest
I am a good listener too
You can trust me with secrets
And I'll take them to the grave
Without a second thought
You may mock me as much as you like
But lay a finger on my close friends
And I will send you back to your maker!!
On that warning note
It's time for me to wrap up this little monologue
However, if you've attended job interviews
You would know that they usually begin like this
"Tell me about yourself"
Well, if you want a suitable answer
Then use this poem of mine as a reference
Just joking, don't even think of doing that!!

You are used to being overloaded with work
That's what happens when you work in a startup
Especially a startup dealing in Recruitment
That too, not run-of-the-mill Recruitment
You specialise in niche roles
Thus, you need to invest a lot of time and effort
In order to pull off closures
Yes, a recruiter's life is never going to be easy
But Recruitment pales in comparison to Research
When you are working on a major research project
You are essentially taking part in an almost never-ending race
Against that elusive devil, Time
A race you can ill afford to lose
And the race track is far from straight
In fact, it is full of twists and turns
Some of them are even more dangerous
Than those hairpin bends you often encounter
While driving up the mountains
There are also numerous obstacles along the way
And to cap it all
There are no prizes for winning the race
On the other hand, if you lose
There will be a stiff penalty
In the form of losing the client, for ever
And what's worse
Is the fact that your credibility will take a massive beating
From which it will be quite difficult to recover
Life will never be the same again
So, you have to win, no matter what
Of course, you are used to working hard
Whether it be Recruitment or Research
So, you put your best foot forward
And work out of your skins
Putting off sleep as much as possible
Even when your body is protesting vociferously
Against this blatant abuse
To add insult to the injury
Your laptop shows you the *******
And your phone literally dies
Sending you into a brainfade
That would have put even Australian cricketer Steve Smith to shame
Luckily, your father's presence of mind saves the day
But your troubles are not over yet
The harder you work
The more confusing the project gets
It's like being trapped in a maze
Except that it's a thousand times worse
Because the maze is controlled from outside
As if it were a puppet
With your boss pulling the strings
Thus, the harder you try to find a way out
The more you get trapped inside
With every passing hour
Hope slowly drains out of you
Until you are forced to admit
That all you can do, is pray
And keep praying for all eternity
Hoping against hope
That Harry Potter and his friends will save the day

After working hard for hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
And months and months
One would have thought
That I deserved a break
Of course, a short one
But a break nevertheless
However, I was in for a rude shock
Instead of being given a break
I was assigned to a new project
And a huge one at that
Involving oodles of intense research
Followed by a truckload of calls
In order to extract critical information
From a bunch of highly reticent people
And finally
Drawing an extremely complicated chart
Yes, I'd done all this before
But that was nearly a year ago
And going through the same process, all over again
Was always going to be a herculean task
But hey, I was not going to give up that easily
That too right at the beginning of the project
So, I sat to work in right earnest
However, after a few hours of hard research
My head was spinning
And my eyes were burning
Thus, it was a relief to leave the office
However, there was still the small matter
Of commuting back to my home
By the dreaded Mumbai locals
I was squeezed so thoroughly
That, by the time I finally managed to reach home
All I wanted, was to crash on my bed
And sleep; for a long, long time
But hey, I decided to write this poem instead
In order to record my thoughts
And more importantly, provide an outlet
For all those bottled up feelings
So that, by the time the next day arrived
I would wake up with my batteries recharged overnight
Ready to tackle the monumental task in front of me
After all, as the oft-repeated cliche goes
It is better to try and fail
Than not try at all

There are many kinds of love
Romantic love, the most common
And also the most overrated
Family love, probably the most beautiful
And most unconditional as well
Platonic love, or friend love
Again, simple and unconditional
Something that has become very popular these days
Which leaves us with.....cousin love
Yes, one of the most underrated forms of love
Seeing as it is not frequently talked about
Well, most families stick together
So do best friends
However, there are a few things
Which you may not feel comfortable sharing with your family
Usually, the best option is to share such things
With your friends instead
Or rather, your best friend
But then, it is also possible
That you may not have a best friend
In such a case, your best bet would be your cousins
Cousins are part of your extended family
And they also know your immediate family well
Remember, you don't always have to choose between two extremes
Sometimes, you have to take a middle path
That's exactly where your cousins come in
Because they will listen to you fully
Without getting too emotionally involved or overprotective
And in addition, they may have suggestions
That might not have occurred to your family or friends
So, cousins are more important
Than most people might think
And it is high time
That we start showing love to our cousins as well
Along with family and friends, of course
But yes, not all cousins are the same
Just as it is better to have a select few close friends
With whom you can share anything
Rather than a big group of fair weather friends
It equally makes sense
To maintain close relationships with a select few cousins
Who mean the world to you
And always have time for you
Yes, cousin love is extremely underrated
But at the same time, very valuable
And something to be cherished, forever

In order to achieve results
You need to work hard
That should be easy enough to understand
The difficult part, though
Is how hard you need to work
Especially when it comes to Recruitment
You see, the nature of the profession is such
That you can't predict anything
Because everything depends on people
And every individual is different and unique
In his/her own and special way
Thus, luck is very crucial
When it comes to hiring people
There are times
When you work out of your skins
And still fail to achieve the desired results
Because luck is not on your side
There are also times
When you do the bare minimum of work that's required
And are able to achieve positive results
Because you are kissed by Lady Luck
On both cheeks
These contrasting scenarios are common
When it comes to hiring Investment Bankers
You spend the entire day calling people
But very few show interest
And apart from those who are not keen
There are quite a few
Who don't even bother to answer your calls
Or call you back
There are also some people
Who say "I will think about it and get back"
Either they get back with a negative response
Or they don't get back at all
That is to say, they just disappear!!
Thus, you have to start all over again
And since you also have tight deadlines
You are forced to work almost till midnight
And sacrifice a few hours of sleep as well
Since you have to go to office the very next day
And it does not end there
Your work forces you to stay at office till 7 PM
Almost an hour later than usual
And to add insult to injury
You get a mild reprimand
From the security staff
Of the business centre which houses your office
For not leaving on time
If you thought the worst was over
Then you were wrong
Because you are forced to work on Sunday as well
In order to ensure
That at least one resume is sent to the client
At the start of the week to follow
If only if you had some luck
That is to say
If even one of the candidates who had said "No"
Had said "Yes" instead
Then you'd have enjoyed a weekend free of work
And got some valuable rest in the process
For all your efforts of the previous week
Yes, in order to achieve results
You do need to work hard
But how hard you need to work
Is something that is almost impossible to answer
When it comes to Recruitment
Particularly when you are hiring Investment Bankers