I'm telling you
That it hurt
And you don't
Get to deny that

When a person
Tells you that
You hurt them
You don't get
To decide that
You didn't

What intrigues
The flint
To spark a thought?
Is it sadistic?
Is it sympathetic?
Recognizable,
Understandable,
Plausible?
Do you ever
Know enough?
Lost in search for
The heart
Of the matter
Do you truly believe
In this world
You've created?

When two Santas
Enter a room
Things can get
Ruthless

I started isolating
Myself, used to
Say everything
I was feeling
But then I guess
I just stopped
I wanted them to
Love me for who
They thought
I was
And not who I felt
Myself becoming

Ever think about
How horrified the
People we loved
Would be if they
Found out who
We really are?
So we dig deeper
Into our lies everyday
Ultimately hurting
The only
People who
Are brave enough
To love us
Wish I was
Brave enough to
Love them back

We don't have
As much time
As we think

The arrow endures
The bow string's tension
So that in the release
It can become
More than itself

You should
Never say
"I love you"
If you don't
Mean it
But if you
Do mean it
You should
Say it often,
People forget

Bagging groceries has given me
A strange window into people's lives

I stuff their secrets into a paper sack
And I tell them to have a good day

But I'm not sure they do

All I believe in
Is that no one
Knows anything
I believe in
Sheer ignorance
Anybody that
Claims to know
Something
It's like
"How could you?"
We're clueless

It's a big word for me
I feel it everywhere
Almost home
Almost happy
Almost changed
Almost, but not quite
Not yet
Soon, maybe

I know how
Dark it Is
For you right now
You're in hell
And the only
Way out is
Through a long
Dark tunnel
And you're afraid
To go in
Because there's
A train coming
At you carrying
A boxcar
Full of heartbreak

And all you
Can do is
Let it
Hit you

When all
You have
Are memories,
Who will
Remember you?

I've never wanted to be the hero
And surely I know
You were never any damsel in distress

So leave saving mankind
To the chumps in tights
We wear leather *****
And no seatbelts when we ride

Take the sands of time
And diamonds in our minds
Slinging silver and silk
In a world we've defined

You drink
You drive
And ruthlessly try
To have a good time

Down slicken oil streets
Pavement like a pistol
To my temple, meets

The cure to my cancer
And the answer
To my every problem

In romantic relationships
You speak Latin
And your empire falls

In platonic relationships
You speak Greek
And think about caves

The first step is
Radical honesty
With ourselves

We don't intervene
We invade

That's not
"Collateral damage"
Those are
The corpses
Of children
And their parents

Ours is not defense
Ours is war

There are two kinds of people
Sharks and
sheep

Sharks are winners
They never look back
Because they have no necks

Necks are for sheep

As our pale blue presence
Dizzily dances
In the same single sunbeam
Restless over how alone
We really are

So sing at the finish line
Sing that sweet swan song
Because all shall become nothing
And in the nothingness
We are lost

The totality of time
With every moment spent
But that was then
And now it's gone
Im not sure where it went

Loss is
a collaborative art
Between the people
Who leave us
And those
who remain
We dance with
the shadows
Of their absence

Do you think it's too late for me?
I mean, am I doomed to be
The person that I am?
It's not too late for me
Is it?

I need you to tell me
That it's not too late
I need you to tell me
That I'm a good person

I know I can be selfish
And narcissistic
And self destructive but
Deep down, underneath all of that
I'm a good person

And I just need you to tell me
That I'm good

I don't pretend
To be anything
That I'm not

Except for
Sober

I've pretended to
Be sober
A few times

In a senseless
Explosion of
Sound, you are
Reduced to a
Crawling thing
On the margins of
A disintegrating
World with a
Lush numbness
And peace that
Lulls the mind
Making death
Seem so easy

We have no place to go but into the light
Born into lives casted off and undefined
We get so busy living lives on circadian loan
Hoping to forget that not one among us is owed another dawn
So we count our memories like blessings
Closing our eyes as each one goes by
Painting stories seldom told of the air we can't get back
And of the lives we'll never know

Sing the beloved
Young lover, from far away
Often, desire the night
It overtakes us
In an endless uproar
We soon lost sight of the sun
Listen as it makes itself hollow
Where are the years between
You and the surging abyss
Lay there relieved with the sweetness
Of a gentle world made for you
Dreaming, flushed with what fevers
Entangled in the tendrils
Of inner event

Nights of solitude, with just enough beer, and the science of laughing through the tears..
In the end I couldn't tell if we'd been so different from the beginning or if our indifference over time had simply made us so...
You know, Japanese culture has this ancient art called "Kintsukuroi" where broken pottery is repaired with gold or silver to demonstrate the understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken

Seems unreal
And abstract
A string of zeros
That exists in some
Strange place
Of its own

Just as perfect
As the music is painful
They took their time
Piece by piece
Placing every star
Casting out the constellations bright
And you alike
To the furthest reaches
But never too far
These perfect points set
So you never forget who you are

We flew aloft
On mechanical wings
And suddenly the heavens
Were within reach
To those who could
Build the machines
That could take them there

So another
For the writer
Another bottle
All by myself
To soak my soul
And drench any
Dream or hope
Of a happy life
I might have
Had left

If you cut a
Gecko's tail off
It'll grow back

If you do
It again
The gecko
Would be like
"Dude.."

Hurt people
Hurt people
And the majesty
Of this tragedy
Is the precious
Knowledge of
Our own
Self Destruction

A storm and the stars
Everywhere it would
Echo the song
Of sheltering silence

The dream of
What's ahead
The dawns, how
They turn into days
Fate, the blissful chase

Enduring crosses
Completely, These
Extravagances
Of the heart
Even the nearest
Moment is far

So if you really go the whole way and
See how you feel about the prospect of vanishing forever
If all your efforts and all your achievements and
All your attainments, turning into dust
Into nothingness..
What is the feeling?
What happens to you?
It's a curious thing
The most real state is the state of nothingness
That's what it's all going to come to

He asks me if
I believe in angels
And before I realize
I don't have the heart
To tell him, I tell him
"Not Lately.."
And just wait
For him to hate me

But he doesn't
Know how to
So he never does
Loving like a man
In the time
Before God gave
Man religion and
Left it to them to
Figure out
What hate was

Find the blue bird of happiness
Find it, and be cured
A simple task he says, one of three
I'm not sure what the next will be
But he'll tell me
He'll tell me..

When you are together
Be together completely
Let them know
That they are loved
Until they begin to understand
What that actually feels like
And then keep on with it
Loyal by nature
Be rest assured
That they'll stick around
So let me scale your walls and
Be close enough to love you
And carefully search for
Signs of the surest routes
To your golden heart

The kids are going to do
What they want to do
They may have just ruined their lives
On an impulse decision
Whose to say what works ?
You find somebody you like
And you roll the dice
That's all anybody can do

You know, it's funny
We never anticipate the ways
We're gonna isolate ourselves
From the ones we care about

Ragingly mad
Obviously depressed
Reveals secretly that
I'm coming undone

The torturous divide
Between this waking lie
And the quiet inner life

A worrisome mind

And now I'm
Googling Suicide

We wanted to be bulletproof
MC's with M-16's and enough money to buy our freedom from the very same blocks we bragged about in our verses
We weren't hypocrites, we were just literate in the language of loss
We weren't rich, but we knew some people were and that they seemed to laugh a lot more often.
I don't laugh all that often anymore..
I'm not sure when we forgot that we were giants

In such strange ways I strangely cannot understand
The horror of it all is we stay attracted to everything that hurts
We cling to it and never really learn to let go
So perhaps we do want happiness
But we also desire to keep the pain close; close enough to destroy us
Close enough to define us
Close enough to make us all feel a little less cold

I'll write this in blue
Because it's how I feel
And I can't help it

I'll write this in green
But I don't know what it means
I don't go outside

I'll write this in red
For everything I hadn't said
They've never really left my head

I'll write this in black
To forget all that I lack
And who I could of been

I mean yeah
The ship is sinking
But the music
Is exceptional

You will be hurt,
You will recover,
And you will live.

You ever try counting the stars?
I can't ever get the same number twice
They keep changing on me
I'm not even entirely sure what a star is
Well my body knows,
It's my mind that has forgot

You have completely
Stolen my heart
And I honestly
Never want you
To give it back

The endless stays
Amongst the trillion ways
We feel the light and song right now

How always I know
There is love out there
By far transcending the four letter way
We say forever to each other

Sometimes our lives are made up of the same stories with the same beginnings and the same endings and things happen the same way almost every time.

We did something today
That everyone said was impossible
We fought and clawed our way
Out of the abyss and into the promise land

And we did it not because
We became Champions again
But because we remembered
We always were

Today represents the rebirth
We rose from the ashes
And sometimes you have to come
To the brink of destruction
Before redemption can be truly earned

I'd set the world ablaze
Just to watch the flames
Dance in her eyes

When all you have
Are memories

Who will
Remember you?