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I guess I should thank you
For the solitude
I definitely do
Deserve some me time
relahxe Mar 28
The windows are closed,
The lights are off,
My mind and I are all I´ve got.

My friends are there,
nowhere to be found,
and I am here
all alone.

I wish I could,
reach out and feel
the love for you
I always craved.

But all I have,
and all I know,
is the way
the bottles
stir up my soul.

I missed you once,
I missed you twice,
Then I drank,
Forgot at once.

I knew there was more,
and I opened the door,
you entered with pride,
but I was alive.
A C Mar 22
When I’m in my solitude
Like when I’m in my room
And that’s why I choose
I love to enter my mind like it’s a separate room
Now when I’m forced to enter my brain
Cause what’s on the outside causes me pain
like when your friends do include you with their other friends
and it feels like i’m circling the drain
like when your high school and you the one that’s lame
and you don’t fit cause you dye your hair every color of the rainbow
and each month it’s never the same
or when your boyfriend breaks up with you
so you have to take a break from interacting with the world and every dude
I don’t have to imagine how it feels when shawty did the exact thing she said she wouldn’t do
and you say **** school
so you tell your mom and your mom tells your school counselor she pages you in her office so you can have someone to talk to
but when I choose to be alone
that’s something I own
that’s something that founded
now when you go to a predominantly white institution and get called ****** on the way to dorm on a college game day
you cant help but to feel other
to acknowledge your color
and feel like you cant relate to another who hasn’t had that experience
you just go to your room but not cause you choose
maria Mar 19
Typically greeted with clanking dishes and crumbs on the counter,
this week, I was alone.
Cleared out was my eclectic apartment;
it was just me who I greeted at the end of the day.
I didn't speak out loud as I would,
but my mind had a relentless narrative
of look at this and what about that.

It was natural,
it was lovely,
and it was calm.

Leave me alone for too long
and dim shadows start to look like ghosts.
But make way for me some space,
and I flourish in my own company.
silence
sweet silence
like none other
despite the library door
slamming everytime
someone leaves or arrives

it seems to slam louder
when they leave

i am not perturbed
or distracted, nor am i
expecting not to be

here, alone, surrounded by books,
i just am

lamenting this place not being
as busy
as it should be
who’s fault is that?

celebrating this place not being
as busy
as it should be
guilty as charged

all these faces i see
it’s like a small town here
sometimes abandoned
sometimes inhabited

once again,
i don’t care

how can i?
my head, full of
Aurelius and Bukowski
doesn’t have space to

well, deep down,
i guess i do care
but not as much as
i suppose society begs i
should

how can i?
i’m too busy figuring out
who i truly am
and the books help, Bukowski
was correct, these philosophers are
like brothers to me and i speculate
my deep “connection” to them
to men whom i never met
yet felt more fatherly care from
than my own

maybe that’s the root

sometimes, all this reading begs the question

do i like books
more than people?
or people more
than books?

i think i know the answer,
eureka!

i love books, and individuals alike
i don’t like people
especially when they group up
in congregations and crowds,
strangers in a
can of sardines
with no space to possibly
ever care

only to survive and barely breathe
or to escape such a reality

how could i?
when they don’t
even care for themselves

it’s disheartening, really
to witness such potential
in one soul
and watch it *******
melt away
around his or her friends

around their families’
incessant influence and needs
abusing providers

consumed by their personal troubles and struggles
and vices, infected by the amplification of
a hang out
girls night
boys night
the clubs, the bars
the gossips of nonsense and ****
that simply isn’t their business

sewage

their obvious and yet
radiantly painful,
like a sunburn that isn’t on you
but hurts to look at on someone else,
avoidance of themselves
begging the following:

could these souls spend
an hour, alone, with a book
and paper and pencil?

how could they?

they’d like to, i’m sure,

but hate themselves just enough
to not be able to.

-melancholicreator
i dont know, i was in a mood

enjoy.
1) to solitude: for embracing my current and unavoidable state of being, not in useless ponder or contemplation, but in a organic yet intentional direction towards self forgiveness, and a transforming journey, and realization, into “being”; as described by Eckhart Tolle in “The Power of Now”. for allowing me the gift of space within, to bear fruit to earnest honesty, yet foment Light for future plans, in virtuous manner, without dream-like delusions or self torment from the past.

2) to the, slow yet obvious, dissolving of the Ego via realization, and active practice thereof, of the “observer”: as opposed to the “thinker”, which bore gorgeous fruit to disassociation from the “earthly”, and incredibly vain, self and its incessant attachment to it via unconscious living.
notes of gratitude in the form of Aurelius’s journaling style, at least an attempt at it. gonna try this on my personal, physical journal and translate what i seem worthy onto here, let me know if you enjoy.
J Vital Feb 3
I walk in the shadows, a dead man alive,
Broken pieces, whispers of survival.

I'm the ghost of my existence,
Existence carved from pains' persistence.

I'm the stillness, I find my voice,
Voice of resilience, my soul's choice.

Though shattered, I rise, I rise again,
Again, Echoes of solitude,
my silent refrain.
J Vital Jan 29
Solitude Whispers
Peaceful ripples through Serene,
Silent lake mirrors.
David Cunha Jan 13
Six string buzz galore
Stars align in solemn swear
The soul oozes out
- David Cunha
january 13, 2024
5:30 a.m.
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