I'm not afraid of the darkness
For only in the dark can one truly see the light.
Our eyes will adjust to see the stars painted in the sky at night.
Im not afraid of sleep
For through sleep the body gets a chance to heal.
Reducing the aches and pains imperfection forces us to feel.
So don't feel grief if I slumber awhile
For I shall awake refreshed and new.
Do not feel alone for you don't have to wait long before I come back to you.
Don't shed any tears for I am not lost forever
My story has not ended I'm just on a different chapter.
I fought a good fight and ran a good race all thats happened is I just finished a little faster.
build a bridge
so others can walk to you
and you won't drown no more
in waters that swallowed you before
so others may reach out their hands
and so that they may save themselves
build a bridge so you find help
no one can heal you
if they are tired from swimming upstream to
Many Wounds Have I Suffered And Seen
Caused Or With Empathy Felt
Some Just Grow Cold Or Mean
Not I, No Not I, Always Will I Endeavor To Melt
The Kept Heart, Locked Away In A Safe Place
Ah To Free That Heart, In Passions Thrall
To Lose Herself In That Seductive Embrace
A Path, Not Far To Sunset Leads, Heed Its Call
Dark And Dreary, Once Was Your Path, Of Desire
So Much Once Lost Or Still Hidden, By Chance Or Design
Your Dreams, Passions, And Fire
Dance Do I An' Delight At What Can Be, Need Thee Only To Yield And Resign
Many Are The Paths, I Have Followed None, Carving My Own Way
Where Shadows Of The Heart, Bitter Sweet Passion Loom
There Are Other Paths That Beckon And Call Me Away
To Beautiful Scenes; Dreams And Desires In Dark Gloom
Even The Coldest Heart Where Passion Has Long Withered
With Prose And Verse
Can Be Free, Healed, Or Still Wounded Deep, Words An Emotions Gail Or Blizzard
In Your Eyes I Can See Your World Your Universe
As I Watched The Play Of Your Light And Distant Thunder Vibrant In The Night
This Storm Of Yours That Rages, Thoughts And Emotions, Where Did It Begin
In Each Passage Passion And Lost Devotion Felt, In Each Flash Of Consuming Light
The Heat Of Your Words, A Reflection Of What Burns Within
Might My Words Brighten Up Your Day, Your Dreams Or World
Open Wide Or Shut Forever Your Eyes
Even Blind Your Heart And Soul Could Follow Or Run From Such A Herald
Might A Poems Brief Embrace Dry Away Your Pain, Pure With Out Lies
With Heart And Soul Wishing For Relief Or Fatal End Unto Either Or Both You Weep
Even The Heavens Cry
For Passion, Pain, Hope And Sorrow, Felt So Deep
Fade Or Wither They Do Not, But Transfixed Might They Never Die
I Question Not, Mine Is Not To Reason
Mine Is To Do
To Compose, With Out Opinion
Always With Empathy, My Words Laced, To Speak Softly To You
Seems To Have Always Be, But Has Never Been
I Reached And Found Your Soul
Beheld It From Afar Bitter Sweet With Out Embrace, Again And Again
I See You Held Your Passions So Tightly, Paid A Heavy Toll
A View Of Passion's Embrace Sweet Bliss
Have You Known, A Shaft Of Seduction And Submission Broad Course Hath Made
To Sacred Places, Your, Mind, Heart And Soul, On Each Imparted A Fiery Kiss
Again And Again, Within A Singular Hope And Passion Filled Is Laid
Not Still, Words Tracing A Path Through Valley In Shadow, Not Growing Weak
The Faintest Kiss, A Delicious Rapture An' Suspense, Not To Torture Or Enslave
No Light Or Darkness, But Shades Of A Fiery Gray Unlocking Mysteries...You Seek
What Passions, Fantastic Dreams Bitter Sweet, Might An Unexpected Word, Save
At Journeys End She Finds A End Of Words, And A Faint Reflection
Who She Is, What She Has Felt
Reflections Yes, But Fractured, Not Expected; Her Thoughts An' Emotion; Inhibitions
Give Rise To Doubt, That Seed Planted Deeply, To Grow With Each Review, Might They Melt
Perhaps, Perhaps Not, Is This The End
For This, But A Poem, Simple Words A Prose
A Mix Of Old And New, Inspired By Emotions, A Glimpse Of Something To Mend
She whispers slow,
Soft, seductive secrets.
She sashays with stealth,
And deposits a million kind kisses
My tired and listless lips.
She breathes beauty,
Boldly inflating me.
She summons my soul
From its deep and haunted hollow.
She comes closer and closer with confidence,
Knowing that I am coolly complicit.
(As ivy climbs its tremendous tower,
So too do I grow gratefully into her.)
She lifts my life,
And we float free of fear.
Far, far away from here.
To a land of longing long-forgotten,
Where all are secure in their insecurities.
She takes me there,
Loves me with tender care.
And then, with not a word,
She softly dissevers,
I am left alone.
Skewed, and Angled.
Perception of time seems so vulnerable, at least able to be captured.. mangled.
Away it flies, yet draws closer by the second; quilted with its own set of rules and manners.. entangled.. in itself.
The ultimate healer, but kills all, besides itself, "In time." Dividing a fine line between happiness and misery..
Above rides the wind, and below, the waves.
Neither can go back, or skip ahead.
i still am trying to hold back my tears as i write this down. i thought about on my way home and debated with myself for a good 3 hours and decided that i have to write this, if not for people, for myself.
i visited the ward as a visitor today. it felt weird to be on the other side of the door. it felt weird to be on the other side of the glass, and it felt weird to look into the eyes of someone i once knew.
it hurt that as soon as i walked through the open doors, i hear the screams of a man speaking in a language i did not understand. it hurt to watch him being pinned down by 2 men almost twice his size. it hurt to watch his mental pain being temporarily stopped with physical pain.
it hurt as we started talking. it took almost every ounce of courage inside of me to hold my tears back, because i knew that me crying would dampen his spirits and affect his recovery. and i knew exactly what that feels like.
it hurt to sit back and watch him explain his illness in terms i knew far too well. it hurt to hear him say " stay here, you would understand this more than anybody else. " it hurt that i understood. it hurt that for that brief moment, i didn't want to understand. i didn't want to be in there. my legs were shaking but i listened anyway.
it hurt to hear him explain how the electricity worked and hurt his jaws. it hurt to tell him to be strong, because i knew how much it would take out of him to just try. it hurt that he cracked up jokes in the middle of our conversations, i didn't feel like laughing at all.
it hurt to watch so many people suffering from illnesses they never asked for, it hurt to watch so many of you suffering from the pain you don't deserve. it hurt to just sit there and not be able to do anything about it. it hurt.
but it hurt because it wasn't my place to feel hurt, it was yours. it was your place to scream and shout. it was your place to cry and break down into a million pieces.
but it hurt because you couldn't, because in your head you are fine. in your head, you're at work. in your head, none of this ever happened. in your head, 20 cops didn't restraint you. in your head, this is a perfect world.
but it didn't hurt because i knew deep in my heart that no matter what, the way i feel about you will never change. the strong, courageous, brave, joyful, kind, happy man that i grew up knowing will always have a place in my heart. no amount of ect's and antidepressants will take that away.
so thank you, for opening my eyes to all the pain in the world. thank you, for making me realize that i am smaller than i think i am. thank you, for making me understand that there is greater suffering in the world. thank you, for teaching me the value of gratefulness. thank you, for educating me, even if it was through your suffering.