what ever comes in Spirit to bring Life into your me
embrace it with the same respect it's given unto thee
accept that which is feral but remember what is True
forget the words this world is always pouring over you
one single contradiction can be magnified to death
to take away the peace you're granted every single breath
be quiet when you listen and be humbled when you speak
be shaken by the presence of each Word that makes you weak
and feel your broken bones as they are perfectly remade
"you're here because I'm not," He said, "I need you here today."
John 14:3-4 NKJV
I'm mad I bothered,
and I'm sorry I tried,
today I might leave you,
I'm tired of smiling,
when you don't give a fuck,
I'm sorry for caring,
when you never did at all
I'm done with being stamped on,
harder each time,
Your nest isn't safe...
It never was
Every second of the day,
my heart is still breaking
I'm leaving to save myself,
the small remains of my soul.
It feels like I'm drowning in black tar
Moving against so much resistance
You won't let go, pulling me down
Deeper into the depths of my soul
Trying to suck in air but I can't breath
Lungs of lead and heart of hurt
It's only as I look deep down that
A reflection of loneliness peers back
The image seared unto my mind up until forever and which shall never leave
That I realise it is not your hand that grasps me, but me that is clinging to you
I unclench, secret scream, silenced shriek
A single tear sinks, and all is quiet
He says that he's leaving..
And that it wasn't my fault.
I'm trying not to cry and yet his face is beaming,
He's hiding something in that vault.
He'll be gone for a year...
Where? I don't know.
Wherever it is, he'll be there and I'll be here.
He's really antsy, he really wants to go.
Thousands of miles apart,
He'll forget me and yet...
He will always have my heart.
You never told me you were leaving, I waited for days, weeks and months.
You promised me something, do you recall?
"Life must go on" they say,
"I dont want to move on, so I'll stay"
Where are you?? I can still feel you,
Can still hear you, Can I see you?
There are a lot of people at the moment
Since it was a cold midnight on 14th day of March. Im at Mcdonald's by the way.
Intendedly, I'm on the thirteenth table
Good for four on the thirteenth chair where my bag is seating right beside me
While on my left is a mirror where I can see the gloomy atmosphere.
and so like maggots my life has become
this dead rotting
ohh noo ... please not death
i feel him coming near , he reaches out
i feel his cold breath ... i gasp
i reach out !
to lost dizzy spaces
this low deep dark ..place
this dead ....this death ... of something
in me .....
when did you stray >?
or start to decay ?
when did you lose the very thing
you knew !!
knew better .... yet with
simple smiles and wiles
you gave in
you bowed down ... to another master
to someone else
you gave your blood for him to drink
when he didn't even care to think
- the thoughts
you stay up
in awakening dreams
reliving your regret
I had to call the cops on my ex-boyfriend last Thursday:
Stop looking at me like I did something to you.
I have campus police on speed dial, if you do not leave, I will call them.
You need to stop pretending like I did something wrong to you.
I am dialing the number right now.
Look at me. Look at me! Stop looking at me like you're a victim! I didn't do anything wrong to you. I don't deserve this.
Look, it's ringing. You need to leave.
First, you need to stop looking at me like I did something wrong to you.
Look at me!
You feel a special kind of guilty when you have a stalker. You don't want to believe that someone you ever loved would to this. You really don't want to believe that someone you were ever intimate with, or someone who has pictures that you painted for them in their room would do this to you. You don't want to feel vulnerable. And you really don't want to feel that every few seconds, you need to be looking over your shoulder for them. You just want them to leave you alone.