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Dec 2020 · 117
Z Dec 2020
Already buckled in the backseat
I’d want to come to the grocery
And while you’d push the basket
I followed after so closely

We dug up weeds and planted poppies
Gold and vermillion
And I remember I felt my heart drop
When you said you can’t be friends with your children

I remember thinking
If you can’t accept me then how will I accept myself
you taught me everything
If you can’t accept me how will I accept myself?

And I’m not gonna get my confirmation
But I really want to make you proud
I know it’s not what you expected
It’s harder to say some things out loud

I didn’t get the chance to tell you
She told you before I could say a word
And then I didn’t want to talk about it
I ran away, I lost my nerve

You gave me all the space I wanted
That was four years ago
until it seemed like you’d forgotten
Until I moved to Chicago

And I was thinking
If you can’t accept me then how will I accept myself
You taught me everything  
If you can’t accept me how will I accept myself?

And I just want to feel accepted
But I really want to make you proud
I know I’m not what you expected
It’s harder to say some things out loud
Sep 2020 · 287
Z Sep 2020
i pull away
i don't know what to say,
it's too familiar
my apprehension
at simple questions,
at gentle whispers

we'd spend our evenings
chasing feelings
we'd try to capture
by those lattice lies
we manufactured

but i can't talk
i missed so many calls
and i can't think
i just can't get involved

i'm on a break, i just can't take this,
i'm suspending consciousness
my reality
has lost all consonance

but, oh,
there's nothing much i miss
and, oh,
i just wanna stay like this
Jul 2020 · 190
Z Jul 2020
a deterministic acidity
encircling, dizzily,
with futile steps and fruitless glances
I took my chances
and still I managed to glue on a smile,
at least, until the train
Jun 2020 · 176
Z Jun 2020
Vermouth turns to vinegar
Her sweet youth imprisons her,
A reverie soured with age
Sep 2019 · 262
Z Sep 2019
Her gaze got the best of me
Burning bright and mahogany
I framed my fervor in filigree

hollow gestures, a pantomime
She just wanted to pass the time
Nearly twenty, too juvenile
To be anything more than tactile

A crowded room, a compact tableau
I still look for her where I go
A stubborn habit, it’s hard to quell
Maybe too callous, but I meant well

A little less than fortuitous
Resolution eluded us
Two strings, discordant synchronies
My pride, my wounded dignity
I've been listening to Hippo Campus a lot and I love the way they write so this is a *very* basic attempt at the style! Thanks for stoppin by
Aug 2019 · 437
Z Aug 2019
Her breath was halcyon
We were my axiom;
I was her peace

Piecing pictures out of nothing
Pretty words, I caught her bluffing
Then the release
Jul 2019 · 1.7k
Z Jul 2019
Peel me mangos
And the pain goes and mixes with the fruit’s sweet flesh,
Dripping fresh and bitter-sweet

You still come to me when I’m asleep
to whisper pretty nothings in my ear
until my brow sears each passing thought with your image
I imagine you as timid as at our first meeting, as bold as at our last, your laughter repeating on and on and on

on our last day you kissed me sweetly, the taste of mango on your lips
Jul 2019 · 515
Z Jul 2019
Come under the mango tree
In its shade she is waiting
Singing songs of the past

Bitter, bitter poetry
As the sun goes on blazing
As her eyes turn to glass
May 2019 · 251
Z May 2019
I ran from you as fast as I could
Bitter wormwood on my tongue
Like a violin unstrung
What is my purpose
Was it on purpose?

To think that we could stay the same
My burning cheeks, my hidden shame
I still am wordless
Apr 2019 · 1.2k
Z Apr 2019
i’m a flytrap in Saran Wrap
Definition clingy
shouldn’t be satisfied to be qualified
as the gum that’s stuck to your shoe

This anxiety could be all from nowhere
It might not be real
But honestly and actually
it’s just how i feel
Mar 2019 · 612
Z Mar 2019
ever so softly
the thought of you haunts me
you and your caramel skin
the taste of toffee
and your touch, so godly
beyond all comparison
Mar 2019 · 615
Z Mar 2019
"i'm always fine"
i've said that line
a thousand times before
that everything's okay
i'm sunny, i'm funny,
don't touch me
don't call my name like it's yours
i see blurs of peppermint and fingerprints
a hedonistic temperment
supplying my internal wars
that you don't have to fight
and it’s not your fault
but don't assume this is easy for me
to be what we were once, formerly
i feel too much, i overheat,
you touch me and i stall
Feb 2019 · 1.1k
Z Feb 2019
Reverie remember me
Dreams like penitentiary
And they just won’t let me go
It’s my ego, it’s montego bay
It’s hard to say like “anemone”
Another day another Hennessy
and i’m drowning away
Craving useless euphemisms, i’m still lost at sea
Haunted by consumerism, the ghost of Ronnie McD,
Mr. Clown meet mr. Clownfish
Mr. Marty lost his son
So i ain’t the only one actively and theatrically
looking for “no one”
-Nemo is Latin for nobody
-Montego Bay is a song by my favorite rapper, Noname
Feb 2019 · 191
Z Feb 2019
Better eat your spinach boy it put some hair on your chest
Better keep your hair long girl go put your *** in a dress
"You better go to church"
"You better come in first"
"You better make it worth my while"
He had to make it worth their while
Wile, cunning, coming through the window when the door locked
When their guns cocked
Good lord made the rainbow
But if you’re gay best don’t get caught
Drink your coffee black, boys
Black boys getting shot
Feb 2019 · 97
Z Feb 2019
Please don’t pull away i pray
As i draw closer
Insecurity takes hold of me
As i hold her
Her insecurity pray
Feb 2019 · 366
Z Feb 2019
Migraine brain and thunderstorm
Knocked out like it chloroform
You ain’t gotta hide it cuz we all know where that bottle from
But whatcha tryna find in it
Want to turn back time with it
Sayin chemistry so heavenly, you’re lying awake
When your memory so feathery it’s flying away
You gotta grow wings too, just to keep up, it’s not enough,
60 cents Monday’s through Tuesday’s stop at Wingstop to get some more
But i don’t know what day is today
and i don’t care anymore

So we get high, so we go and we lie
say it’s a phase, ignore this haze
all around us it surrounds us
but that’s just for now
just to drown out the sounds
as time goes and it drowns us
Feb 2019 · 1.6k
Z Feb 2019
Mister Clown, mister Funny
Mister Always has some money
Why aren’t you joking today
Mister i’m always okay
i’m okay, okay

On my tiptoes like it’s ballet
It’s second best we call that Park Place
and i’m blue, blue, blue
Ya know me well i’m mister cliché
Trade my years for smokes and ashtrays
Time just flew, flew, flew
Here’s some candles, it’s happy birthday
Here’s some camels, TGI Friday
TGI Jesus, TGI Nietzsche
it’s NTK it’s TLA, that’s AKA
It’s subtlety and puppetry,
it’s how you got the best of me
you pull the ground from under me
for me to fall and i just do, do, do

Mister Clown, mister Funny
Mister Always has some money
Why aren’t you joking today
Mister i’m always okay
i’m okay, okay
Feb 2019 · 178
Z Feb 2019
tell me all your secrets
and i’ll tell you you started a sequence of sleepless nights for me
i don’t need Jesus i just need you in your completeness
in this world that He bequeathed us that old book is red with rust
it can’t define our goodness
or limit what’s between us, our disagreements, the inconvenience of love in the modern age
so love me and they’ll leave us and then we can be thus
exactly as we are.
Feb 2019 · 280
Z Feb 2019
"wake me when you leave" she says
she sleeps, i watch her breathe
i wait, i write, i look at her
and grin in disbelief
Feb 2019 · 188
Z Feb 2019
i'm studying numbers, i'm lost in the summer
an insect in the amber of your eyes
my affect is my answer, baptize
me in your smoldering bronze,
the sweat on my palms is not enough
to wash away the past
Feb 2019 · 292
Z Feb 2019
blue light emergency
try to rewrite my circuitry
try to tell me not to run

so heartily and heartless
their burgundy catharsis
they get em when they're young
Feb 2019 · 262
Z Feb 2019
i caught feelings
i stare at the ceiling, i say i was wrong
i say i was wrong

you were confused
you had nothing to lose, not for long

another December i won't remember
the embers are gone

still, we meet in passing, all the heat, the thrashing
you look at me like you want what i'm on
Jan 2019 · 158
Z Jan 2019
i am drowning in a sea of strangers
and stranger still, i cannot speak
but to say i will not blame her,
that justice is oblique
Jan 2019 · 216
Z Jan 2019
i was born yesterday
everything was new
i’d never heard my grandma cry
yet her face was fresh with dew

someone held me yesterday
i was an infant in her arms
her voice was milk and honey
as she whispered to be calm

i was born yesterday
the day another passed
his wife just couldn’t wake him
when she got home from mass
Jan 2019 · 279
Z Jan 2019
my fingers remember the feeling of flesh
and i remember it all,
the feelings,
the words

but none of them are the same.

flowers bloom and then they die
and i know and so i try
to forget.

everyone dies in the springtime.
Jan 2019 · 246
Z Jan 2019
my mother's father is not yet buried
and yet he breathes no more
another boulder to be carried
up the hill forevermore
Oct 2018 · 138
Z Oct 2018
I want to see you again
But that would be a mistake
Still, I never loved you more than then
The day you left me in your wake
Oct 2018 · 584
Z Oct 2018
I loved you fully; I was young
I wanted to be understood
And in my mind you still live on
You were my childhood
Oct 2018 · 377
Z Oct 2018
Glowing buttons and lights above
as we sat there in the dark
Her hand in mine, I came undone
I bear her watermark
Sep 2018 · 332
Z Sep 2018
We drove along the water
and sat under the sun
You were a good man's daughter
and I, my mother's son
Sep 2018 · 232
Z Sep 2018
I can't seem to count them very well...
It's embarrassing, I know
but do you recall pinning my lapel
all those years ago?
Sep 2018 · 2.7k
Z Sep 2018
An imprint on your face and my mind,
Your dimples curved like gentle commas
demanding I pause to trace those lines
Between kisses of every genre
Sep 2018 · 184
Z Sep 2018
Her love tastes like a candy
Sweet sugar on your tongue
But the more you try to savor
The sooner she is gone
Sep 2018 · 74
Z Sep 2018
I don't want to remember
This is our epithet
When I reflect, I tremor
But I can't forget
Sep 2018 · 159
Z Sep 2018
Our fingers danced together
And bodies intertwined
Our breath a gentle zephyr
But you were never mine
Sep 2018 · 123
Z Sep 2018
Evanescent with a firmness
oh how you ran from me
I had never been more earnest
you had never been more free
Sep 2018 · 429
Z Sep 2018
A vivid evocation
A memory of form
A mutual ovation
The calm and then the storm
Sep 2018 · 290
Z Sep 2018
They were a living poem
Writ of secret, sacred words
Eyes locked with hers below him
The past and future blurred
Sep 2018 · 261
Z Sep 2018
Your fingers move like lightning
my skin, my mind is bare
and our time is ripening
a wedding fills the air

All I do is think of you
it's true, it's all I am
everything is over, still,
I want to hold your hand
Sep 2018 · 207
Z Sep 2018
Your laugh is sweet like mandarins,
locking fingers, eyes the same,
Your breath, a hundred violins
gasping as you came

— The End —