"mistreatment" poems
I am not at fault.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Why am I being treated as though I did?
Stop it with the pity and the shame.
I am not ashamed. I don't need pity.
Especially not yours.
Life is messed up, but I am not.
One in five. one in five. ONE IN FIVE
One in five LGBTQ+ people have been mistreated because of their ****** orientation. It's not that hard to find these statistics. Look it up. Look up anything about LGBTQ+ people and I'm sure you'll find mistreatment.
I'm sure you'll find harm.
I'm sure you'll find that they harm themselves.
Because they feel at fault.
It's not their fault that they feel a common emotion towards another person you, selfish, close-minded..
mmm.
No.
Four in five. four in five. FOUR IN FIVE
Don't talk about it.
The way they were mistreated.
If you don't really get that
If you can't really fathom that
Almost all of them
Almost every single one of these people that have been mistreated don't even talk about it they don't reach out they don't tell
anyone
NEARLY HALF
of LGBTQ+ people in school are bullied
Are mistreated
Are hurt
Are mocked
Are called names
***
******
***
In school.
Yeah, bullying happens all the time over stupid **** All the time. Wearing glasses, looking different, being gay.
I get it.
It happens.
Whatever.
Nearly half.
"72 countries criminalise same-sex relationships ...
The death penalty is either ‘allowed’, or evidence of its existence occurs, in 8 countries
In more than half the world, LGBT people may not be protected from discrimination by workplace law
Most governments deny trans people the right to legally change their name and gender from those that were assigned to them at birth
Between 2008 and 2014, there were 1,612 trans people were murdered across 62 countries - equivalent to a killing every two days
A quarter of the world’s population believes that being LGBT should be a crime"
Oh hey, just some statistics. Isn't that interesting. Isn't it cool to take a step back and check that out. That's pretty crazy huh? Pretty outrageous. But, you know, maybe if you weren't such a
***
I did nothing
wrong.
I tried to stop it.
I tried.
But how can you stop
Doing
What
Is
Natural.
People are hurting
People are dying
People are being killed
People are killing themselves
Stop it with the pity and the shame.
We are not to blame.
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 13, 2018 at 2:06 PM UTC
All these kids are homeless with dead parents from all these ignorant wars, the ghetto, tragedy and famine and you're complaining about how you hate your parents that are there for you?
What in blue blazes has gotten into you?
People who are good to you
Should never be rejected
I'm sorry, but i cannot accept those words as a fact
Because they're filth painted with temporary coat
Am i supposed to be impressed?
Because i'm not
You did far worse than that
My parents couldn't do everything for me, but it wasn't due to the lack of wanting
It was the lack of everything that prevented them from doing so.
I want to tell the homeless help is on the way
I will be your guide today
But they forgot the language of caring
Due to all their previous mistreatment from other souls
They now almost forgot how to feel
I'm not going to put them on a reel
To give them bait so i could just throw them back into the river
I'm understanding of your pain
And i want something to guarantee you constant gain
Because they deserve it the most
I want to cry every time i see them digging for food out of the garbage can
But i need to stay in my poker face
And stay strong
But i'm not sure it might be for long..
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 10:23 PM UTC
You've said and I'd have to agree
I'm
selfish,
*Because
I refuse to let you do anything to me,*
Selfish ......
*Why because
I refuse to spread wide & let you
**** me then leave?
You've expressed to others
how*
Selfish
*I can be,
because
I wont give in to your deceit,
I refuse
to allow you any sympathy
when it comes to
your fuckery
your an
infectiousness diseases...*
Selfish
*cause I wont be
subdued with all
the lies and ways
you mistreat me,
all the game playing,
trying to scheme
fake me out,
while you try to
make me lay out
my cards,
ya stupid cheat,
Selfish
because I've told you*
I Wasn't Ready
*I'm calling your bluff,
Your not so tough,
Ya sort of funny papi
Your always trying to knock me,
wishing to cause havoc and bring me down again.*
Selfish
*huh
really?
I'm so*
Selfish
*because I'll put my children
all of them before you,
I've placed my walls back up
wont allow you to climb em
I've changed my mind
more than once it's cause
of something you've done...*
*You've got me rethinking
being up on this pedal-stool
&
I'd rather you stop shaking it
so
I can get down
but you'd rather see me fall.
It's*
Selfish
*of me- right
cause
I'd rather not have to fight,
I don't like being put down,
Specially ya
small jabs
about my mental
the many excuses
you've come to make
time and time again
You've dismissed
my past and all
the bad that's trapped me,
You make fun of me
for having PTSD
& D.I.D.
You've said and I'd have to agree
I'm*
Selfish
*cause I don't want to do this,
I don't need another man's
to abuse,
or for you to
use and beat me
I'd rather be*
selfish
*then to take care of another drunk
or man with any type of addiction,
even if you're addictions me.
I'll be*
selfish
*While
I guard all that's dear to me
You've already
deliberately
tried to cause me so much pain
dressed it up and called it love
but I wasn't fool to your game.*
Selfish
*huh?
Is it because,
I didn't let you in
well not as much
as you'd like me to,
Naw papi
it's because
You
can't just pop into my life
then try to take it over.*
**SORRY MOTHER ******
*You can't mistreatment
and abuse me
than bring me flowers
cards or candy,
You can't rock my body
then dismissively
treat me like
I'm worthless....
But it's me
whose so *******
Selfish.
*I've said it long ago
Oh how he thinks
I'm*
"His Type"
*Well that's not true
because
baby you've made it
so **** clear
that
I'm nothing.
Besides
a *****
a **** & a ****
A *****
even though
You've apologized
each and every time
those
words left your lips,
not right away
but you've done it
&
I refuse to forgive you
over and over
each time you've
repeated ya crimes...*
*No way could
I allow you back
because
you showed you'd
do it
again and again,
and if
BIG ******* IF,
if I allowed it
which I wont-
not anymore and never again
its because
you've said it
right
and
if you cant
remember
well baby
I'll help you
out
its
because
I'm*
SELFISH!
*Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
K.A.C.L.N ©
All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present*
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 10:20 AM UTC
Peanut Butter and Jam
I like peanut butter, I like toast with jam
don't care too much for brocolli on a stick
or a hunk of liver that's really thick
I really like swiss cheese on ham
dont like the spill of oil, don't like it one **** bit
like the smile of small young child with their mother
that is a smile that is like no other
hated wrestling getting my face in the arm pit
loved coping a buzz and hearing music from a live band
loved the feel of my loved ones soft lips on mine
its cool watching old movies about Franenstien
always liked everything I tasted with the Nestles brand
I hate wars and senseless killing it just makes no ******* sense
I don't like it when my jockey shorts ride up my crack
I get jealous of someones fame when I think they are a hack
I look at my final desitination with no false pretense
going to the moon would be such a spiritual thing
meeting my president would be such a special honor
it would be fun playing tennis with Jimmy Connor
how I would love to be on stage with friends and sing
wish I could have met Jesus Christ the man
his mistreatment on any level was way to cruel
if I drink to much I have a tendency to drool
hey remember the Nanny her name was Nan
the Little Rascals were such silly kids,
their Woman Haters Club was such a fake
now how long does it take to bake a cake
too sad when once famous people hit the skids
why does everything taste like chicken fried
will this world recover from the financial woes
will the hopes of all the poor ones in back rows
I thought of death and then I cried
now the words can flow freely for this is who I am
I will never be rich or famous my shoulder I will lend
I will always be here if you are in need of a friend
yes I really really love peanut butter and jam
Gomer Lepoet...
Jun 29, 2010
Jun 29, 2010 at 4:06 AM UTC
I posted this poem a few days after I joined HP. As is oft the case, poems you are especially proud of, fall to the wayside, under the onslaught of the constant waterfall of new submissions. With the usual exception of Ms. Lori C., one of the two unofficial High Priestesses of HP, in my estimation, this one, was pretty much overlooked. Despite some comical jaunts of late re bras and beds, real inspiration has escaped me ever nice I penned "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay (Razor Blades, Pills, & Shotguns" last week. So, with your hoped for solicitude, I resubmit it, hoping it finds a wider audience and dedicate it to those of you who I number as friends (you know who you are!), despite the fact that our only shared embraces have been techno~electronic, and yet the quality of your kindness is beyond measure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Numerical Quality of Friendship
The quality of friendship is non-quantitative.
Yet, I ask you to number it, and me, this way.
With tape measure, determine that:
The length of my arm's embrace will always be
longer than long enough, and when distance magnifies sorrow's gains,
my shoulders measure wide enough to pillow your wearied head.
The depth of my pocket is finite for by definition,
a pocket is but an open doored, three walled shelter.
My pocket of shelter is forever open, forever deep,
and forever is infinite.
Trust that when bowed and bent,
upon my shoulders climb and together we will be tall enough
to touch the season's new fruit upon the tree of life,
and with one tongue, taste the unimaginable!
Do u think that mercury can measure
the warmth of my tears when love sears my heart,
or the heat of thy skin when it heals and cauterizes
wounds salted by the mistreatment, by the bitters of the weak ones,
who rejoice when they scald others?
Size me up.
What is my volume?
What are the boundaries that
length X depth X height
state must limit my capacity to cherish, to heal,
and even to forgive those who deserve no forgiveness?
If you measure me well and proper,
if I meet the standards that qualify me to be called friend,
then friend me here, friend me now,
friend me for the qualities I posses,
and number us a unity among the few
who are truly blessed
by a quality of friendship that cannot be measured,
for there is no scientific instrument that can quantify
limitless.
March 2012
Aug 10, 2013
Aug 10, 2013 at 3:21 PM UTC
After laying awake way past her bedtime
There where nights she cried herself to sleep,
Thinking how could she have possibly been so naive?
But as she closed her eyes and wanders down the streets of once-used-to-be's
She realises, she'd lost herself to a past of full of mistreatment
But now she refuses to be a victim of it and stands tall rising above it
There used to be a time she'd been used, and so to be used was all she knew
And to crave love, a sense of belongingness, was unthinkably selfish
So instead of finding love from within,
She'd give her all to all those who'd treat her like she didn't mean a thing
And apologised and forgave repeatedly though she was never to blame
She became a dreamer of dreams to cope with the painful reality of things
But now instead of living with wishful thinking
She wakes up and struggles hard to make her dreams into a reality
No longer a slave to her fictional fantasies
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 12:26 PM UTC
Left to die, unable to survive on your own
a child thinks this. It is the greatest fear
Doesn't last long, but makes a big impression
A bigger fear than being abused
But today, it means, can mean, freedom
from abuse mistreatment, your insults
their disdain, being his personal punching bag
the scapegoat for his broiling troubles
your neglect, and preference for under age girls
Abandonment is a respite
a place of renewal
a silence that terrifies, but then rejuvenates
as I can think on my own
let my thoughts be my guide, for a better me
May 5, 2013
May 5, 2013 at 1:44 PM UTC
**** the good stuff
Let's talk about the bad stuff
In the end it's all fury and cotton…
There's a spider-web in my palm
The center is a smiley-face
With X'es for eyes
And I feel my tongue
Becoming numb and salty
Maybe potassium
And who are you
With your glasses
And your street smarts
I'm quite ok with being
Unimpressive an ignorant
To your standards
A mafia with some ****** mixed in
That's how you're perceived by me
No code, no guts, no loyalty
And you talk, and I listen
I even engage you, polite as I am
I don't bet, but I'd gamble
You have a barcode on your soul
And if I could explain, I bet you'd listen
A set of letters on your payroll
And your set of ways
Is equivalent to
Mistreatment of an animal
But your tactics and lack of tact
Suggest treatment of an alien
An I bet on the movies
You're not sheep, just orphans
Begging for a leader
A rite of passage
And here goes my empathy
Imaginary places and genes
And I don't bet, but I'd gamble
You have a barcode on your soul
And hell yes, I'm in it right now
**** the good stuff
Let's talk about the bad stuff
In the end it's all fury and cotton
Nov 19, 2011
Nov 19, 2011 at 7:21 PM UTC
What do you hear of me?
What rumors slip from others’ lips?
They speak of me, evil mistress, eyes that pull in, and a body that gets caught in your windpipe.
You are unable to swallow me. You chew on me and hastily spit me out. You choke on me.
The wit I possess is too quick for your bruteness. You dismiss my thoughts.
I am just a woman, nothing less, and nothing more.
Bore to serve you and bear your seed.
What do you hear of me? What slips from others’ lips?
Am I a murderous harlot? A bitter witch with nothing better to do.
Do serpents sit atop my brow, shall I turn you to stone?
Am I Charybdis, shall I swallow you whole?
They are unable to chop me up into bit sized pieces. For some reason, they do not love me as a collective.
What do you hear regarding the treatment of me?
You only hear yourselves, deafening my point of view.
I hear I have scorned every one of you. Do you hear of who scorned me?
Have you ever questioned what may have made me this way?
What makes a mistress so vile?
The mistreatment of a loving deity can mangle many.
I was hanged on a hook, a piece of meat left to rot.
I was once pure and heavenly.
I will ask once more,
What have you heard of me?
What tales have slipped from others’ lips?
Have you stopped to think what created me to be so evil?
I am the evil mistress. I will chew you up and I will eagerly swallow you in all your whole.
I know my motive. What is yours?
Apr 14, 2021
Apr 14, 2021 at 10:44 AM UTC
The Numerical Quality of Friendship
The quality of friendship is non-quantitative.
Yet, I ask you to number me this way.
With tape measure, determine that:
The length of my arm's embrace will always be
longer than long enough, and when distance magnifies sorrow's gains,
my shoulders measure wide enough to pillow your wearied head.
The depth of my pocket is finite for by definition,
a pocket is but an open doored, three walled shelter.
My pocket of shelter is forever open, forever deep,
and forever is infinite.
Trust that when bowed and bent,
upon my shoulders climb and together we will be tall enough
to touch the season's new fruit upon the tree of life,
and with one tongue taste the unimaginable!
Do u think that mercury can measure
the warmth of my tears when love sears my heart,
or the heat of thy skin when it heals and cauterizes
wounds salted by the mistreatment, by the bitters of the weak ones,
who rejoice when they scald others?
Size me up.
What is my volume?
What are the boundaries that
length X depth X height
state must limit my capacity to cherish, to heal,
and even to forgive those who deserve no forgiveness?
If you measure me well and proper,
if I meet the standards that qualify me to be called friend,
then friend me here, friend me now,
friend me for the qualities I posses,
and number us a unity among the few
who are truly blessed
by a quality of friendship that cannot be measured,
for there is no scientific instrument that can quantify,
limitless.
March 2012
May 23, 2013
May 23, 2013 at 11:26 PM UTC
There's trauma interlocking my genetics
Stripped of specifics boiled into one
My own blood stained with my ancestors' rapes
23% White in my DNA sickens my bones
How much of it was forced upon my people
My great great and further back peoples
How many mothers thighs ripped apart to give birth to the innocent child of white devils
To be beaten by the white she-devil for "enticing" her man
For the child- if lighter- it be favored but enslaved in the home- near that very room they were criminally conceived
How many young Black men taken and ***** to be emasculated and sedated to work passively upon the plantation
Take a wife- to have her taken to masters room
Have a daughter- son- and the pattern roll on
How many white people and non-black people believe Black peoples to be inherently ****** to this **** day
These are the origins
If White people ignore my claims
Then you- white man- woman- person
You are just as guilty as the slave owners
Just born centuries too late for free labor
You must pity this of yourself too
To ignore Black peoples cries is to be complacent in our mistreatment
To not listen is to feel we were deserving of our suffering
To have happily whipped and beaten your fellow man if born back then
To support U.S. military veterans and be empathizing of their trauma
While rolling eyes to when Black people don't trust police, the government, or all White people of high status
Invented- created- controlled- plagued by White people
Because of 300+ years of trauma has brazed us with forced submission
To ignore the intergenerational neglect of treatment among Black people
Makes you a slave master on a cold December in 1865 missing your slaves just born modern day
May 13, 2019
May 13, 2019 at 3:02 PM UTC
i liken my growth to the succulents in my garden
sometimes, they struggle to keep up and their leaves shrivel and rot
in the spring, they spill out of their pots
tumbling from the rim in bountiful stems
and every year or so, one may die from mistreatment
overwatered
not enough sun
overcrowded soil
and the next day, the eldest plant blooms
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
A fool could see this from a mile away
Still I let you get close
Your love, like espionage for future endeavors
For me to give out all my love to have it scattered across the walls you built up to keep me out
Still I was outside your solitude of isolation
My fair Juliet, misjudged and ruthless, how I like it
Blinded by mistreatment, I want what's bad for me
Like sugar to your teeth so sweet but risky
I'd fight to suffer the slings and arrows of as they say misfortune with you could never come my way..
No one said anything about sticks and stones
Jul 25, 2013
Jul 25, 2013 at 9:37 PM UTC
I would say all the good things about you but there's no reason
I would still have these wounds open and leaking
I fought for you til my hands started bleeding
All these lies you kept spoon feeding
Still in disbelief
I'm finally feeling defeated
All the mistreatment
Not physically
But emotionally
If you couldn't love me
Then why keep me
Gave my all like no other
To watch you give it to another
Took my heart and buried it six feet under
I tried to be your lover
Instead you stole my love and perished me
Locked it up and threw away the key
Into the deep blue sea
While it sinks deepening my insecurities
Please...
You had me on the run
Had my heart shot like guns
*But one day I'll be the right one
To the right one...*
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 8:31 PM UTC
I
sat and I waited for you
with my skin crawling
many nights I looked into
the mirror
and I didn't recognize her
She was someone new
Someone desperate and broken
into a million pieces
The Culprit Was You
you brought forth misery
wrapped expertly with a
bright red bow
camouflaged and putrid
with your tarnishing love
it was a beautiful trick I must admit
you are quite the magician
you created trust
transformed it to dust
then made it disappear
with the blink of an eye
you forced love to die
with no arrangement of a funeral
I sat and I waited
many nights I contemplated
on ways to make it even
closure is what I needed
but my love for you was too strong
and you made it cry
the mistreatment you delivered
made love die
but my heart still beats
and still I remained
broke, busted, and disgusted
All of my fortitude invested in you
and you imposed it upon me
such potent ammunition in your grasp
you controlled me
to be your slave
while you swam nights in vain
I stayed in and prayed
for direction for protection
I would pray that your heart would fall
into my hands
and God told me to be patient
but
I can't
every moment had to be filled
with you
you are my filling
and I was your crown
pauperized by love's cavity
sleepless nights indulged
by the whispers of my mind
painting sweet stories
covered and blurry
except
my focal point was set on you
my thoughts left me at times
in spite of you
I didn't bother to pursue
how foolish of me
I was stupid
in love with you
meta-morphed to ignorance
in-cognizant of my worth
I left it at the creek
in my dream
where I sat
in thirst
where I washed my hands
in the glistening water
and laid my worries
in the white snow
but in reality
you know my inner child
only you see my inner core
so tell me how could I
love someone else?
who could ever love me more?
than the man who knows
me.
in
and
out
your the man who accepts me
out
and
in
your the man who adore me
internal
and
skin
consequently
there's no love in me
to love another
again
Copy Right 2014
©Patty Ann
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 12:09 PM UTC
If you only knew
How much I've been keeping it in
Maybe you could cut me some slack
And leave me to my thoughts
If you only knew
The feelings in my wavering heart
That no matter how much I resist
They're eating me away slowly
If you only knew
How much I want to apologize
For keeping myself at bay and distant
Because I might never want to let go
If you only knew
Why I'm doing things to hurt you
Acting indifferent despite being close
Resisting feelings that I shouldn't feel
If you only knew
How much I'm falling in love
With everything and all about you
Wanting to break the status quo
If you ever find out
That I've been hiding these feelings
To keep this bond between us
Would you rather stay?
If only you would stay
I really hope you won't leave
But if you really do
This may be the last time
That I admit to you
That after all this time
And after all this pain
After all that ignorance
And all that silence
All the wrongdoings
And all the mistreatment
I love you
And pushing you away
Asking God to take away these feelings
Away from my fragile heart
To save what we have
So that I could keep you still
Even when we're far apart
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 2:03 PM UTC
Loving you is like wrestling with the horns of a bull
A modern Hercules and Achelous love story
Sneaking up behind me and grabbing my neck
Bruises scattered across my body by your rough hands
All apologies, no action
A chain reaction of mistreatment
Always coming back to me, begging for more
Then hostility
Without showing responsibility
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 7:12 PM UTC
I Can't Breathe
Suffocating
In a country
That could give
A good God ****
About me.
Drowning in a society
That doesn't see the signs.
That doesn't believe
That the darker brother
Has the right to justice.
That simply condones
The mistreatment
Of an entire group of
Human beings.
I tried to walk away.
I tried to surrender.
It didn't matter
Because now
I really can't breathe.
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 7:07 AM UTC
Love is not a singularity
It is a whole
One cannot extract a part
Or worship only one piece
It must be accepted as a whole
One cannot only enjoy the soft warm places of love
The pleasent corners and pools
The weak seams that easily split
The lose threads that unravel with the slightest mistreatment
It takes great and delicate strength to walk its halls
Love is complex
And beautiful
It has hidden shadows and dark nights
It cries to the moon and begs for the sun
And it comforts them both in turn
Love is filled with dreams and hope
Longing and doubt
Wishes and tranquilty
Torment and viciousness
It resides in both angel and beast
Heaven and hell
And earth
In the tears of god
And the blood of the devil
One cannot claim it as there own
One cannot truely love any other person
Before loving them all
One cannot give love
Without giving themselves
First to love
Love is of our time
Our blood
Our soul
Treat it well
As you treat others well
Give your all to love
And give all your love
To those in need
Life and love
Though never perfect
Are always
Beautiful
Jul 7, 2016
Jul 7, 2016 at 6:52 AM UTC
Abstract love's &
( "Lover's" )
like abstract art-
You see what you want to see
Believe what your gonna believe
I've shared my linguistic
knowledge & observations
too many time to count.
Trying to help & wok this out
Begrudgingly l held onto
this imprisonment called
"loving".
Let it stain & detain me,
Overpower myself & my thinking....
Even allowing this
Abstraction to consume my very soul
The every essence of what I once "was"
My dysfunctional state's
isn't no longer in question...
After the mistreatment(s)
I know there's nothing left.
Suicides a gift- my anchor
It's my only way out of this-
Abstract "Love"!
Always Me Ayeshah
Mar 8, 2010
Mar 8, 2010 at 12:54 AM UTC
I am free from the clutches of Sir Robert K N
Or am I
I still think about him
How I hate ****** the hell out of him the last time I was with him
He came into my life when I needed some attention
at first it was so exciting
he told me how beautiful and wonderful I was
told me he wanted to start a relationship with me
Never really told me any of this in person
text messaging
he could say anything he wanted on that format
I played all the classic “girl mistakes”
asked him what his intentions were
asked where is this going?
Told him I cared about him too soon
I fell for his early charms
but noticed the deep flaws of his controlling personality
I was drawn to him but it was so toxic for me
I was attracted to his height and how he seemed to pay attention to me at first
I found him to be a womanizer
the things he said made me want to puke
the sweet honey of lies turned to rotten ***** in my ear
he would come and go
nothing was concrete
I tried my best to communicate my points
I did the best job I could
My points were of no interest to him
I finally cried about it today
I looked in the mirror while I did so
I looked so beautiful and vulnerable and strong
I am still confused and I still want to know more
is it my nature to look for abuse or mistreatment?
Do I think love exists where there is none but only for a hope?
I began to notice all the unhealthy things about this man
not things a woman of child bearing age looks for in a partner
I don’t want to be led along
I don’t want my time to be wasted
I don’t want to feel controlled
I don’t want to feel like I'm a crazy girl
I'm not going to voice what I want again and again
I said it once and tried many more times
I cannot compromise my needs and values
He would not and could not deliver
It still makes me sick to think of him
It still makes me sick to think of how foolish I was
to try to believe
to try to put my faith in something so false
Will it feel better when it is right with some other man in the future?
Was this an important lesson for me to learn?
I still want answers
God, give me the strength to let it all go
Mar 29, 2012
Mar 29, 2012 at 3:28 AM UTC
Today is my first day without you, like really without you.
Before, there was always a chance, always a hope that things would be okay and that we would work out.
But today is the start of a new chapter, where you and me don't exist, and there is no us, maybe, or one day.
I am free of the lies you told, the mistreatment, and the disdain.
I'm free of the inconsistency, callousness, and pain.
There are no more chances, no forgiveness, or apologies to accept.
There or no more talks, or possibilities, or "just want to catch up"s.
Your power is gone, the one you held over me like a grim reaper, waiting for me to falter.
The worst kind of monster... Welcoming me with open arms, only to lead me down the spiral of insanity.
I'm done, and I'm ready, but I'm not yet okay.
But I know that now I can work towards feeling that again one day.
And it hurts, but maybe that's the pain that I need.
Perhaps it's just that which will finally break the cycle of awful, maddening repetition.
I know some days I will move forward and some days I'll fall back, but at least you won't be there to remind me just how much.
I will never again hate myself for letting you in.
This is not the end, and I'm so ready to begin.
So today I will celebrate your absence, as a never-ending holiday.
I am so thankful that I chose not to let you stay.
Because none of this was worth it, and if I could I would change so many things, and wish all of it away.
So goodbye, my love, the one haunting my past.
The one who appears in my nightmares, including the one I live every day.
Who's there to remind me that I'm weak, and I'm broken, and that no truer words have ever been spoken, except...
I'm more whole than you'll ever be, especially now you have to live without me.
Jan 31, 2022
Jan 31, 2022 at 8:16 AM UTC
Last night i cried
I cried for everything that hurts me
I cried for my own mistakes
I cried for others‘ mistreatment
I cried because i was hurt
Last night i cried for the pain and sorrow
I consume
For all the love I‘ve lost
For all the sadness inside me
I cry for letting life pass me by
For all the hurt i endure
For all the things i am to blind and naive to see
Last night i cried for the loved ones lost
For the ****** life i live
For all the friends that befriend me
I cry for all my heartbreak
I cry for myself
I cry while being intoxicated
I cry while being ****** up
I cry because i have to be in the wrong state of mind
Last night i cried while listening to music
While closing my eyes before bed
While text messaging a friend
Last night i cried for no reason but i always find one
I cry because i feel paralyzed
I cry because i feel handicapped by life
I cry because of fear
My fear makes me cry
I cry because i have lost everything i have gained
Mostly i cry because of my mistakes
I cry for my family
I cry for my parents sadness
I cry for others people‘s pain
I cry because because of my own unhappiness
Last night i cried to feel free
I cried myself to sleep
I cried because i could not sleep
I cried because i lack confidence
I cried because i have no will to live
Last night i cried for what others have done to me
I cry because maybe i am truely a lonely guy
I cry because that‘s all i can do
I cry because I‘m alone
Now...today,I cry for last nights sorrow
I cry for empathy
I cry for hope
I cry for guidance
I mostly cry for love and to be loved
Even more so...
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 14, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC
displaying a badly painted portrait of myself to the public
just so that i can be picked on, as i predicted
self-sabotage isn't just a bad habit, but a disease
the only cure to it is self-love, but that's something i can never seem to reach
possibly the pain became too addicting
or i'm afraid of change, i'm afraid to be loved
after all i can never accept the fact that i am loved in the first place
i'm so used to mistreatment, for it's the only form of love i know
Sep 19, 2021
Sep 19, 2021 at 11:36 PM UTC