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Cailey Weaver Sep 17
They'll tell you that you're selfish when you finally let them go
They'll guilt you and they'll shame you for not caring
When you take control of all the things that you already know
And let go of all the pain that you've been bearing

They will tremble in the shockwave that you leave them in your wake
As you put the days you wasted far behind you
They will tread above the water in a panic of self-hate
As they realize that there's nobody to run to

They didn't want you, but they did, when they thought you'd walk away
But reality had never crossed their mind
That maybe you are stronger than who you were yesterday
So you had to leave some clues for them to find

They'll scream at you and say that you are wrong to block them out
But the peace is almost deafening to hear
As they realize all the love that now they'll have to live without
They will try and stuff you full of all their fear

So now smile. Walk away until you can't hear anything
What they say is now no longer yours to hold
So go off, enjoy the light that only happiness can bring
And let all the things that you deserve unfold
Why can't I let you go
Even as it's killing me
I just want you to know
You're everything I'll ever need

Your voice is in my head
When it tells me I'm enough
It fights my battles for me
Even when I feel unloved

There's something in my brain
That I never will forget
I wish I could refrain
From feeling all of this regret

And you're the only one
I can't get out of my head
Your laughter and your smile
Are what get me out of bed

And every time you leave
My heart breaks and falls apart
And though I try and keep you out
It's really really hard

I know that you're not good for me
This sick and twisted game
But then my heart it skips a beat
Each time I hear your name

You leave and then you call me up
After I feel ok
And then you leave and save me for
Another rainy day
Cailey Weaver Oct 2020
Maybe I cry too much, love too much, and feel too much
I’m sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable to talk to me
I can be too sensitive, I try, but I can never win
So sorry if my heart’s too big to fill the box you put me in

And I wish you could see all the love I have to give
Inside a brain that thinks so fast that it forgets that I am breathing…

And I know I shine the brightest when I haven’t got a clue
Of how whatever hell is wrong with me takes all the fun away from you
I know that I shine brighter when I cannot understand
How I can never fill the shoes you try to fit onto my hands

And I wish that you would take all the care I have to give
Inside someone who loves so much she forgets she should be eating…

Maybe I hurt too much, talk too much, and think too much
Perhaps that makes me less than worthy of the friendship that I need
I could call you up again, but maybe I’ll just let them in
The ones who treat me like I’m not a burden ladled onto them

The ones who hold me while I cry and think I deserve better
And ones who drive out to my house no matter what the weather
The day I let you go was when I knew that I was free
I knew I shined the brightest when I let you walk away from me
Cailey Weaver Aug 2020
Your worth is not in other people.

It is not when you look most beautiful, or in the thank yous disguised as apologies.

Your worth is in the days you pick up the pieces even as they slice your fingers.

It is tucked away in poems you'll never share because they are too painful, and smuggled past the battles you win benownst to none.

It's in the tiny victories, and the small moments that mean ever so much.

Your worth is in the size of your heart whether or not others can expand enough to contain it.

It exists in the tears you choose to give the world, for they are gifts of the care you hold within you.

Your worth is in the sparkle your eyes hold when nothing can stop you.  

It shines in your shamelessness and in your effervescence.

For nothing can take away your worth when you are priceless.
Cailey Weaver Jul 2020
Learn to move on without an apology or an explanation.

Learn to let go without the closure that you deserve.

Keep your head high through the blows dealt by people who don't try to understand you.

Learn to be okay with people thinking badly of you.

Learn not to care what people say behind your back.

Understand your worth, regardless of those who take advantage of your kindness.

Learn to smile even when the tears are welling up.

Learn to respond with Grace, even if battles are raging around you.

Know who you really are, and be true to that no matter what.

Learn to be proud of your intentions, your values, and your feelings.

Learn that the future will always hold better things.

Know that good things will come if you put love out into the world.
Cailey Weaver Jul 2020
If you live your life feeling like you're walking on eggshells and constantly questioning who really cares about you, there's a simple solution:

Instead of walking on eggshells, move them somewhere else.

Remove them from your life completely.

Stop caring about what people think, and start being who you are without being ashamed of that person.

Then, the people who accept you for that are the ones that you keep around.

I feel like life kind of got better when I stopped begging people to be there for me.

I had to start just letting the people who want to come as they please rather than constantly having to chase after them.

You should never have to fight to change someone's mind about you or have to give so much of yourself that you lose who you are in order to get people to like you or care.

That's just not how it's supposed to work.
Cailey Weaver Jul 2020
I miss you.
I miss the days of laughter.
I miss the years of history and inside jokes.
I miss the feeling of being known and understood.

I'm not sure where things went wrong.
I don't know the point where you shut me out or where you decided against having me in your life.
I'm not sure if it's temporary, or permenant.

However, I know that you'll always be remembered fondly in my heart.

You were my calm point in a sea of chaos.

However, water is constantly churning, moving, and changing. You'll never see the same wave twice. And while you may love a spot on a beach, you can't wait for the same molecules to return every time. That's just how it works.
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