it's ironic isn't it?
how you always manage to come back right when i think i moved on
oh but 8 months have gone by since we last were together
yet my heart still stops when we lock eyes
true feelings never fade i guess
my love, nothing could ever change the way i feel about you
i deeply desire someone i can't have and that's the worst part. i wish i at least made small talk with him yesterday./
it's funny looking back at how much you broke me
because now i can't feel a single thing for anyone anymore
but the thought of you has faded now
i just wonder when i'll get to feel that way again
just completely numb.
she knows he hates her
she can feel the resentment from a mile away
non-stop thinking about him turns into nightmares
waking her up everyday at 3am
she can't go back to sleep
her mistakes haunt her every night
and she hates herself for it, and can't seem to forgive herself
jason i'm sorry.
addictions are hard to overcome
maybe that's why it is so hard to get over you
because to me, you were my drug
love is a drug i guess
it took her months to come to this realization
but one day it just hit her, and it hit her like a brick
that even if he did come back as a new, changed person
nothing could ever repair the damage he's caused
and at that moment she knew nothing would ever be the same again
i don't want to go back to overthinking, and changing my entire personality to the watered down version of it - all for what? just so you could stay? just so a silly boy like you could "approve" of me? i'm better than that. this time i'm choosing me.. except i say this yet you're still in the back of my head. but i'm coming to terms with this thought i've had today, i'll get over you eventually.
laying in his arms, huddled up right beside his chest
next thing you know we're kissing, while he's touching my breast
grabbing onto my waist, his hand running down my back
he's playing with my hair, while whispering down my neck
sirens going off in my brain, telling me to run
"run as fast as you can, you are not the only one"
his touch was an indicator for me to leave, but i didn't know how
temporary affection is what held me back, so i thought "it's only for now"
his hand was like a vacuum, every touch ****** bits of my soul away
i knew deep down his desire for my body was the reason he wanted to stay
the more he said he "fell" for me, the more i became sweaty
sweaty with genuine anxiety, for the fact that all i felt was empty
i gave every reason i could to leave but he twisted each excuse in his own way
"it's just a phase of emptiness & numbness you're going through, please stay"
every opportunity i grasped onto to escape
just led to me having my mouth covered with tape
not even self sabotage could free me from his control
so i decided to permanently walk away, but in my heart remained a hole
i constantly asked myself why i stayed when i couldn't feel a connection
but i realized he gave me what daddy didn't: just some affection
i wonder what you would think
if you knew that i wrote poems about you
just a silly thought, lol