sαndяα-αℓєxιs

sαndяα-αℓєxιs Feb 2021

Ok, I get the message
I guess my feelings, to you, were pretentious

I dont know what i was expecting
I was just fishing for affection

Seems like im often unprotected
And oftentimes become relentless

Nowadays im so restless
I always have a heart on my sleeve

But my mind is demented
of all these people that took advantage
of me

I should’ve demanded a fee
I guess my own disadvantage was me

#connection #affection #rejection #relation #self #love #worth

sαndяα-αℓєxιs Oct 2017

How Do I Win?

What do I have to do to be the one?

I speak from my heart
But all it does is makes you drift apart.
I thought what we were making was genuine But was I even yours to begin?

I gave you my soul.
You took a piece now I'm missing a hole.

Only you can fill that void but every time I hear your voice I can't even move my mouth to make a noise..
So I get a little faded hoping it would give me courage and it doesn't, I'm sure.

You say you I mean the world to you but to me you're the universe.
I care too much about you it hurts.
I'm paranoid about you; who is she?
**** never mind. That's my insecurities.

Me or them?
How do I win?

#love #lost #pain #regret #sorrow #universe #void #soul #heart #insecure

sαndяα-αℓєxιs Oct 2017

a beginning

He was amazing. Which sort of scared me. Everything I've ever wanted was sitting right next to me holding my hand. I just starred at him gazing off as he spoke, watching his lips move. My pulse kept racing as the rain poured down harder and for a second I finally felt like the girls in the movies. Everything was so perfect in this moment and in this exact moment I wanted it to last forever. What could this turn into? Of course I wanted it to be love but could he see himself loving me? Could he ever think that I could be the one? Or was I just a fulfillment for something he was missing... someone he was missing. But that's just my insecurities jumping to conclusions. I was supposed to be saying all the amazing things about him but somehow I just got off track.

#love #beginning #infatuation #insecure #failure #hope #new #lust

sαndяα-αℓєxιs Apr 2017

I

I've missed you
I can't wait to get back to you
I know I said I hated you
But can I still have you?

#love #toxic #people

sαndяα-αℓєxιs Jan 2017

Refocus

I always wondered how I could get so broken
You never listened to the words that were spoken
Telling me I'm the one but why was I chosen?
You admired me but not my devotion

I don't understand how I got so open
For you to act right, that's what I was hoping
But every time you ****** up and I exploded
I got so angry and started spillin' my raw emotion

Played and used like a token
All the love I gave you, I'm revoking
This poem I'm loathing
****.. I need to get back focused

#love #self #anger #hope #resentment #free #focus #commitment

sαndяα-αℓєxιs Aug 2016

The Letter S

Years later and my thoughts still flutter
I don't know why but I wonder
What'd it be like if we didn't stutter
'*** now I keep closing my heart like shutters

Too young to know what love really was
Too young to know what love really does
But I do know I was a fool for you
There wasn't anything do wouldn't do for you

I talked about you like diamonds
No matter how hard it was I kept trying
The good, the bad, the ugly
I'd do whatever it took for you to love me

No I didn't want to end it
But we had to stop pretending
Now I only see you in the rear
Our love is a box of souvenirs

#love #life #passion #pain #loss #lust #lost #past #infatuation

sαndяα-αℓєxιs May 2016

Picture Perfect

It's not that I'm blaming you
It's not that I'm shaming you
I'm trying to fit the pieces in my mind,
So I could keep from framing you.

I don't know what religion is
Who or what to believe in
Hot 'n cold,
My faith changes like the seasons.

Our puzzle pieces scrambled
I swear I had it handled
Somewhere along the way,
We flew off the handle.

Landed feet first
You would've thought my feet hurt
But I slipped on gravel,
And ****** up my t-shirt

#lies #faith #hurt #mind #deceit #puzzle #grey #scrambled