"lightheaded" poems
why wont you let me move on?
is it because you dont want me to?
you dont want me to find happiness
with someone else?
or are you just plain sadistic,
forcing this pain on me?
every time i think i can breathe,
there you are again
with your hands around my neck
cutting off my oxygen supply
making me lightheaded.
every time i try to move,
i realize my arms and legs have been tied down
and there you stand
taunting me at the end of the bed.
why do you have to be so cruel to me?
its probably because you know i live for the pain.
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 10:05 PM UTC
The residue of ***** lined the empty bottle.
A deep inhale of smoke,
an exhale of problems.
Lightheaded I fumble,
clasping a cold lifeless piece of metal.
I cried "save me"
release all my demons.
I am safe for now,
drowning in a sea of crimson security.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 2:35 PM UTC
skyscraper man on seattle time
looms in the corner of swan lake and fry
untouchable denim untouchable blueblack plaid jacket
he's put together with clothespins
he's put together with stipends
he's crammed between taxi cab book ends
skyscraper man on seattle time
stoic as the jet engines roar by
all his friends are magazines all his friends currentbrief
he's got a little future
he's got a few dimes
he's got no father to call out the lies
skyscraper man on seattle time
watches smog children kick ***** on concrete
vulnerable under trees writes his novels in purpleink
he's married once before
he's read crucifixion lore
he's returned his money to the store
skyscraper man on seattle time
looking through spectacles of ***** and brine
the rain falls hard the breeze sweet on the leaves
he's emptying the soul of modern rock n' roll
he's emptying the tray of ashed thought
he's emptying the bank account cold
skyscraper man on seattle time
sheds crinkled skinmemory like the cicada
a twin-sized deathbed deathbed in apt. 203
he's nothing.
he's ever.
he's happened.
skyscraper man on seattle time
carbon copied and eternal as saltwater as rust
invisible and tapping at the runrain window
he's nothing.
he's ever.
he's happened.
skyscraper man on seattle time
climbs himself to the cosmos lightheaded perfection
ethereal visions of fullbloom love and legacy with measure
he's nothing.
he's ever.
he's happened.
Nov 20, 2012
Nov 20, 2012 at 11:04 AM UTC
It makes me feel
Lightheaded and fluffy
And makes my cheeks
Turn bright red
To think of my hand
In yours.
It's such a unique gesture,
Holding hands.
So intimate
Yet innocent.
Our hands will fit perfectly
Our fingers interlocked
Like the right pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
My heart will beat faster
Your cheeks will turn redder
And we will feel so much closer
To each other.
Your grasp will be so tight
It'll be impossible to let go.
Just like having the world
On my fingertips,
Literally.
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 11:36 AM UTC
Not many things are as satisfying
As peeing when you're drunk.
What a rush.
I always realize how lightheaded I am
And that makes me laugh.
Then it's back to the kitchen to replenish
My body's alcohol supply.
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 5:13 PM UTC
Oh yes, where to start….
A Kiss behind the ear
trailing across the jaw
a light sweep of lips across lips
a catch of breath…
moving down….
Fingers tracing every move….
soft wet kisses to the neck
….are you feeling the groove?
Slowly lips move from neck to chest
as they lovingly adore
fingers lightly travel down
eager to explore…
Wet trailing kisses to the navel
fingers circling around chest
bringing forth trembling lightheaded sensations
lips against skin, pressed…..
Moving ever so slow….
*finger traces
circling tongue
lips adoring
wet embraces
intensity flowing
curling toes
twitching muscles
heart pounding
breathless
out of body
a second of clarity
Sweet Release….*
Good morning baby, shall we go on……..
~
© 2017 Brianna Love/SA/DBMA
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 18, 2017 at 7:06 PM UTC
In the darkness,
I become tangled in your fingertips,
legs,
and sweat soaked sheets.
Your body rocks and moves against mine
in perfect motion
As you whisper how you want
to "make love to me."
That’s what you called it.
But I’d never done that before,
I didn’t even think people still called it that.
But once you said it,
all I wanted to do was...
make love...
to you too..
Now,
baby,
I'm not saying I love you,
or anything like that.
Don’t smile that smile like you’ve enchanted me.
Because I refuse to make that commitment
or give you that much.
Cause see,
I've got things to see
and people to do
and I can't be in love right now.
it's not a good time..
Is it for you...?
..cause if you say it first
I'll jump at the chance to tell you
that when I'm with you,
I soar.
Your fingertips send sparks from my skin
and the sweat dripping
down your caramel complexion
leaves me hungry.
Hungry for your lips on my lips
and your body on mine,
and lord oh lordy,
I might need a minute
excuse me..
Baby see,
when I'm with you
I can smell the scent of your country
taste the exotic taste on your tongue.
and it sends me to far away places and distant lands.
sends me to other planets.
I'm so high off the scent of us,
I'm lightheaded just thinking about you.
****
And you laugh at me
because I breath a little harder
when you whisper in your native tongue.
"¿Te gusta eso?"
you ask.
And I'm not sure what you're saying
so I just say yes..
and you keep on going with your secret words
losing me in your translations
to the point where I don't wanna be found.
So let's stay in this limbo forever..
because you got me so high baby,
so high,
I never wanna come down.
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 9:57 PM UTC
Head is foggy,
Knees shake,
Hands quake.
Suicidal again.
Cotton mouth,
Nausea,
Lightheaded,
Suicidal again.
Numb,
Confusion,
Head is aching.
Suicidal again.
Distant voices,
Hot and cold flashes,
Suicidal again.
Pain,
Tears,
Self destructive behavior,
Suicidal again.
Exhaustion,
Isolation,
Self medication,
Suicidal again.
Chain smoke,
Can’t eat,
Suicidal again.
Gods turned his back on me;
I’ll turn my back on him.
Suicidal again.
Truly,
The only way out…
Suicidal again.
May 13, 2019
May 13, 2019 at 7:33 PM UTC
I'm not addicted to the substance
I don't really care about the high or the low
I'm addicted to the morning after
I'm addicted to being able to tell you exactly how I feel
and to take it all away the next day
I'm addicted to "I'm sorry, I was so ****** up."
I'm addicted to "It's okay."
Because I'll never be enough.
I'm addicted to the aftertaste of our drunken kiss
I'm addicted to forgetting how you pushed me from your lips
I don't care for lightheaded feelings
I get enough from you
I don't need the acid rising up
but you hold me when I do
I don't need the ****** parties
The kids all passed out on the floor
I'm addicted to sobering up
I'm addicted to needing you more.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 12:42 AM UTC
The list of regrets
That I have is overwhelming
And my friends just don't understand
I'm a perfectionist
I over think my good deeds to death
Until they are no more than
A collection of moments where I could have done better
But there are tiny fragments of moments
That given the chance to slide back in time
I would just sit back and watch
And be proud of my choices
The list of things I don't regret:
1. All the boys I've dated
Because they taught me how I should
And shouldn't be treated
2. Breaking up with the boys I've dated
When I deserved better
3. when my ex best friend gave me a letter
Apologizing for all of the snide remarks
Subtle insults
Talking behind my back
And never sticking up for me
Claiming that all of the new friends that she has
Can't compare to me
I threw out her letter and false promises
Not because I finally brought myself to hate her
But because I was finally strong enough to love myself
4. Climbing onto my roof that first time
Though I got yelled at by my
Angry mother
I got to watch the stars
And escape my worries
I found my happy place
5. When one of my friends texted me
Crying on the floor of her room with the door locked
Fearing what was on the other side
And I told her the three things
I wish someone had of been there to tell me
It's not your fault
It's abuse
Call the police
6.When I was trying to explain
An important concept
And on the fourth try
Of my sentence
I finally caught the attention of they guy
On his phone
And his extremely teenage response was
"I'm listening. It's called multitasking.
Need me to give you an explanation of how I can do it sweetheart?"
And though I'm the quiet one who doesn't speak up
Without missing a beat I responded with
"No. I'd rather you give me your respect."
And from then on
I got it
7. When I let myself trust
The gorgeous girl I met
Because in my experience
The pretty girls are the mean ones
But this one wasn't mean
She was my best friend
8. Though I had never gone as a kid
I applied to work at a camp
Though I didn't know anyone else going
I left with best friends
And the best summer of my life
9. When I read my first poem out loud
Shaking and lightheaded
Having just shared a piece of myself
And been accepted.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 10:26 PM UTC
*The sky is falling
with the New Moon’s rising tide
Amorous emotions are flailing
with rhapsody’s flooding desires
A fleshy sigh exhaled
the hot breath of carnal tensions;
the heat of a lightheaded fever,
arouses flushing skin,
igniting a yearning to savor
the bouquet of love’s
sensual coquettish dreams
Inraptured teases and tantalizes
anticipation’s lucid sensations
So close and yet so far away ,
as if a moonstruck hypnotic delight
were at the tip of fingers touch ,
from arm’s length away
Savoring the input
from all the heightened senses
Overwhelmed by a feeling
like being wrapped in a dream ,
choosing not to listen
to sanities' useless reality
Willingly surrendering to the dream - - -
to the verve of blissful mercy
Only while waking up,
embracing the thoughts
of passionate release,
do I feel the poignant pang
of my heart's song
longing to fade into you …
"dance me to the end of love"*
wilder
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 9:21 PM UTC
Sometimes, I wish my soul
Wasn't so sensitive
I extend my exposed hand out
For others to grab
Sometimes, my reach
Is acknowledged and held onto
Other times, it's crushed
With the overwhelming and
Presumptuous weight
Of being a burden and
A disappointment
This pain is very strong
This suffering tugs and
Drags me down
A sinkhole that I don't even
Notice I'm falling through
Until it's too late
Until I feel lightheaded
When my heart beats
In fluttering patterns
Until my chest tightens
And I feel a knot in my throat
It's hard to swallow this air I breathe
For at times, it's so dense and thick
But there's no fog, no illusion
Just allusions to the fact
That I'm tired...
Fatigued...
Exhausted...
A barren tree
A lot of life to give
But an abandoned seed
In my mind
That's what my demons tell me
This is my story of triumph
That I'm still writing
This is my journey
That I'm still fighting.
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 1:52 PM UTC
We sat cozily on the couch listening to Miles Davis
She, curled up with a glass of Chardonnay, me, a warmed brandy snifter
It seemed an eternity since we made time for each other like this
We enjoyed our home in silence, absent our attention grabbing offspring at Grandma's.
I savored the scent of her lavender infused body snuggled in my arms
Her beautiful brown eyes reflected flickered light
The candles we transplanted from our earlier bath, burned slowly
And "Kind of Blue" transported us as we held each other.
"May I have a sip of your brandy?" she asked coyly with a smile on her face
"Of course," I handed her my glass
"Not from your glass," her smile turned into a mischievous grin
The vanilla and oak from the brandy permeated the air above the gulp I took into my mouth.
My heart rate increased, my eyes closed, and our smiles met pressed together; Heaven is real...
Her lips parted, she pulled the brandy from me along with my tongue that now danced with hers
The fire of the brandy that left my mouth warm, now slid down her neck in one smooth swallow
We took great care in kissing each other, sensuously, passionately, time stood still, for us.
Luxuriating in this kiss, a tear fell from her eye, met only with the tears that fell from mine
As our mind's eye recalled the love we have endured over these adventurous years together
Brandywine never tasted this divine as from the lips of my beautiful lover
Lightheaded, more so from her than from the alcohol, I smiled and held her closer to me.
"I Love you Husband!"
"I Love you more Wife!"
-----ChawzzyScript
Apr 13, 2013
Apr 13, 2013 at 8:16 PM UTC
it feels like you have my heart poised, perfectly, between your thumb and forefinger; rubbing and squeezing and pulsating until blood is drawn and the warm fluid slides down your wrist.
whilst you aren’t texting back, i’m emptying the remaining pieces of myself into a cup of coffee. each swirl of the teaspoon is another uneasy breath expelled; i pour milk into my stained mug in the same vain that i pour what remains of me into your open mouth.
i don’t know if you want it; maybe you like your coffee black but i've never given you that option. pouring and pouring and pouring. pouring myself into you without permission, without self-awareness or a need for reciprocation. i try to water you like a plant whose roots are already swimming in water.
i think your mug might be full already but i can't stop, i want to but I can't withdraw. i'm going to pour and pour and pour until you never touch another cup of coffee for the remainder of your days, till the smell makes you gag and cafes' become scorched ground.
at this point coffee is the only thing that it feels like i know; my organs floating amongst pools of sharp, bitter liquid. i push it longer and longer and longer, the hours between meals stretch into days stretching into lightheaded bouts of fainting. but it’s okay because i feel like i'm floating. so empty and sparse that i could keep pouring myself into you for an eternity and you would never get too full, your cup would never overflow from too much of me.
but i'm tired. tired of guessing and crying and starving and giving myself to you. i am not a watering can and you are not a wild garden. you are beautiful and I am hollow, the lifeless impression of what could have been lying in the freshly seeded soil. you are the budding head of the snowdrops in the spring, i am decay, rot and debasement.
you didn’t ask for it, you didn’t ask for any of this; you wanted me to stop. to stop trying to embed myself into you like dirt under your nails. but that is the crux of it all my dear; i can't and i don’t know how to. so i keep going, i kiss your bruises and clean your wounds; pouring and pouring and pouring.
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 1:11 PM UTC
There is a new roof fitting itself to the sky,
sea-roughened and grey as the vast paving
I dropped teeth on as a child, lightheaded
and living faster. Outside, a steep hill drops sweet
like the dip of a spoon, and in this life I see
my own reflection. It may come from narcissism.
It may come from gut. But its momentum is trapped,
a statue on one foot, it asks to be uprooted. How can I
carve this future into something soft and creaseless?
If I was an artist, I could catch its outstretch—
I would pull the army by the hand, out from the dark
intrusive damp, and ask it to stay.
On the line, a white sheet takes hard gulps of air.
I'm quick to learn its rhythm.
But in the morning it has lost its breath;
in the morning there is a small damp circle
under my cheek.
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 5:32 PM UTC
Blood rushes and oxygen depletes
Hidden beneath eyelids, I dare myself to breathe
I become lightheaded as I am relieved
a piece of darkness from my heavy heart
The acoustics of silence screeches
with rising pitches to match the increases of contrast
This white-out has interrupted my mental broadcast
Nov 12, 2011
Nov 12, 2011 at 4:18 PM UTC
Can the skin of my lips touch again the soft suppleness of yours?
I like the euphoria that races down my spine and spreads through me like fever;
Weak and lightheaded, I am painfully vulnerable to its effect.
Giddy like a child to know you feel it too as we linger pressed together.
Can we meld again our faces and make our tongues dance?
I crave the taste of the mint that still haunts your house;
With eyes closed, I greet the endorphins with playful giggles.
Your hands clasped in mine, we brace for the onslaught of our zeal.
Can we again have our souls collide within the envelope of our breaths?
I long for the dizzy heights aloft of my infinite love of you;
Your arms around my neck forcing my head to meet yours with haste.
My hands cradling your backside, drawing our bodies yet closer together.
Can we repeat again the wordless speech, the slow mind coition?
I fancy my heart a metronome escalating a beat in syncope with your own.
A little nibble, a teasing bite, a nosh if you will, as if your silk lined set were food stuffs with gravy.
I suckle the lower lip as if it were an areolar protuberance feeding my infantile psyche.
Can I again passionately conjoin your mouth with mine, and hold you there in my thoughts?
Can I dare evoke the feelings I so wholeheartedly embrace, and return them to you with fervor?
Can we share each other in spontaneity as a hello or goodbye, again my love forever?
Please...!
Can I kiss you again?
-----ChawzzyScript
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 4:49 AM UTC
her bare back was like a foreshadowing of the apocalypse,
your face unseen.
i couldn't even close the door,
not the way i wanted to, with a SLAM.
because then you'd know i was standing there, that i was unsure which empty room was offered to me.
it wasn't that room,
that room was full,
packed to the brim with kisses that weren't mine, strokes that were not mine.
that room was intoxicating, i felt lightheaded, i couldn't breathe.
i barely had anything to drink.
i am lost,
excluded from the beauty.
but i was lightning, you were thunder,
you can't have one without the other.
but it was rushed, and she left with a relieving SLAM early in the morning.
so i made tea, and you let me lay in your bed all day,
and sleep and listen to love songs, and watch old movies.
and we were as close as we could get without touching.
and we didn't really say anything,
and that was okay.
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 9, 2012 at 1:12 PM UTC
Loving you is a paradox
It is an oxymoron
Made in hell
Can't you see that I'm torn?
My head spins
I lose my senses
My body feels numb
I am indifferent to life
All that matters is you
I can't stay with you
Why do I cope with this so lightheaded;
I feel like I hate you
No one makes me feel worse
But no one makes me feel better
And more alive
May 1, 2016
May 1, 2016 at 6:04 PM UTC
lightheaded i scatter to the curb
and stare in blank wonder
at the carnival of obscene
open on the ***** street
a father wanders drunk up the
sun dappled lane
singing that tune from childhood
if he could only recapture
even a moment
but time evades him like paper butterflys
and his life flees as he chases the past
a mothers brother lurks in the shadows
hoping to be seen and unseen
in the same moment
his hand clutches the traces of a poison
that hes here to sell to imitation innocence
its the same as the ones in the cars
they just sell a different form of insanity
just another filthy lie
they are trying to hand out with a smile
she lay back in the bent perception
and plays on the dreams that might spark
but benith her bulletproof layers
she is crying for all the tenderness and love
she feels she will never know again
she waits for the bicycle man
she knows he is her escape from the carnival
there is no time to waste
i must escape this vipers nest
this wasteland that lives between the
fast food restaurants
and run down motels
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 8:02 AM UTC
Firmly pressed,
Lips on lips.
Hungry for more.
Eagerness and expectation fulfilled by
Nibbled lips, dancing tongues, and gnashing teeth.
Lightheaded.
Breathless.
Consuming you is consuming me.
Let the candle burn at both ends,
In the middle the flame will ***** then
COMBUST.
At our core, we are explosive--
Fiery passion, life, and love.
Kiss me, and I'll show you.
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 3:56 AM UTC
Lightheaded on fumes
running on empty
through rooms and
nowhere to go.
I know something's coming
that's why I am running,
can't stand still anymore
or fight
'til I bleed or
batter down doors so
I'll batten down hatches
and run on
empty.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 6:20 AM UTC