Happiness

I wake up fresh and happy as can be
Monday mornings are just simply nothing for me,
A new day has been given to me
Oh for what this day has in store for me I just can't wait and see,

Class starts with the teacher telling a joke
Recess and gotta sip on some of that coke
At the math class the quiz was postponed
At lunch my crush sat with me and I'm feeling like I'm ******

Just got home and mom bought some pizza
And how i enjoyed grobbin' down on that meat
Pepperoni, ham and bacon now that's just neat
Oh how today was a good day

Endin' everything at night
Just chillin on my bed not a ****** in sight
Oh how today was cute like some pup
But it was all ruined when I heard wake up!!!

it all started when i signed the contract
i knew i was ****** just cuz im black
fresh in its like a jail cell with no bail stepped into a world with no feelings
no heart apart
from this contract i got a duffle bag m 16 rifle
Told mama im.goin' to war
she dont understand i may come back in a box hard to dodge the ****
of the government over here
fightin' for some silly *** oil
negoitating with the enemy
but at the same time i am the enemy? United states burnin' up country while we workin' for free
got **** congress makin' millions more times than me
they say it aint a conspiracy?
they say i think too much and that my feelings touched
cuz i been in combat but truth is
they dont want your kids
to know the difference between reality n illusion is but
i say **** the press the army and im coming back vicious revenge
is delicious malicious
acts been done since man crawled out the sand pit times tickin'
grease the c.o.p so gun dont start trippin' and im still.wonderin'
will i escape the pain and misery the governments done to me and my comraderie
we earned the title of a vet
but they pawn us as trophies they get good publicity
sayin' we winnin' the war
when the war is at home rights being takin' every single day CIA Linked with the NSA no more private security
what the ******* think an IP is?
watchin' over us scared of us cuz of a revolution may bust out the cobb webbs been meaning to do this art is a reflection of reality i callit how i see why so many of military corps endin' up in the penitentiary?
cuz fools is pickin' truth over a numbered name excercisin' rights brings society pain got all the conservatives goin' insane
these muthaphukkas know the real
but they braille with they mass appeal startin' race riots white vs black black vs mexican
nigguhs u aint a American
ya stolen
secret society dont want us in unity
so do what the ******* want to embrace ?Crowleys tactics ?
use that black magic and watch em go in flames
use frankincense and myrhh to focus my brain
i got wealths no riches
nigguhs cant put a price on a mind
im the son of garvey malcolm even that crazy boy Carlin
as long as they stand for true
imma stand with you
army fatigue galore guns indeed
breakin' the demons seeds
that was planted long ago in the garden of eden
serpents been on earth since
darkness was first they had to separate dark from the light wrong from right
now that im out on bail
the military losin' there sight too focused on drug cartels
when they ones who sail
the dope in but the hood gets the pen? ultimate perdition folks in the senate listenin' say its us but we ain't got no passports why the **** they hidin gold at the fort?
Knox imagine that if we were to overpower the system the wouldnt have no choice but to listen they silence the powerful voices that influence minds
fools stay on yo grind
and so what even though my comments is being recorded and audit
but im at peace with self i dont see sunshine cuz its shorted
now take this to the daily news
so these public speakers can report it uh

There he was, Archibald Walker, like every mornin standin on the riverbank starin across the water as the sun began to rise.  He would just stand there with his lunch pal in one hand and that funny bowlers hat in the other.  That boy always had a big ol’ grin stretchin across his face from ear to ear.   Archibald Walker the third was actually his name.  A college boy from down south, he came from ol’ money.  You’da never knew though.  He came up here to escape he said.  I had always wondered why anyone in their right mind would give up money and education to come be a logger, but there was Archibald just starin across that river as happy as a peach.  I used to ask him what he learned down there in school and he would always reply the same way, “Good Jokes”.  I never could tell if he was being serious or if he just didn’t care too much to talk about it.  Archibald was real good at his job though for being a college boy.  Came in before everyone else and worked ten times as hard. Never did see him ***** up either.
He liked to keep to himself.  I was the only one he ever really talked to and even then he never talked about much.  Took me a year and a half just to figure out he was educated and from money.  I looked at that boy funny for a week after he told me that.  I was dumbfounded as to why someone would give that up for this gruelin job.  Funny thing is, he seemed to like it.  He had to clear up logjams and keep the wood flowin smoothly down the river.  Boy was he fast.  He would skip across them floatin logs like he was walkin on dry land.  There he’d go just a bouncin up and down across them logs, big smile across that baby face, with that funny lookin bowlers hat on.  He always had on that goofy thing.  Looked like someone had glued a bowl onto a plank’a wood.  I asked him why he liked wearin it so much one day and he just laughed and said, “Now what makes you think I like wearing it”.  Still don’t know what that boy meant, but I never took to tryin to understand him.
Everybody called him Walker cause he walked across them logs all day and it was his last name I suppose, but mostly cause he loved walkin them logs.  It was a dangerous job, but he never hesitated to go runnin out there with his push pole and clear the jam.  I told him to be real careful what logs he pushed outta the way cause if he got the wrong one, well he would end up crushed out there between two of those god-awful things.  He told me we all end up stuck between two pieces of wood in the end anyhow, so he didn’t care.  Boy shoulda listened.  Wasn’t a week later he went walkin out on them logs, smile and all, and wouldn’t you know it he sliped, got crushed between two big ole trees then sank all the way to the bottom of that river.
We searched the river for three days and never did find Archibald’s body.  It was sad to see that boy cut down so young.  We hired a new boy about a week later and he wasn’t half the walker Archibald was.  He wasn’t even a walker.  Nicknamed that boy crawler cause he was so scared of them logs he would lay down on his belly and crawl out there to fix a jam.  Three separate occasions we picked him up a mile down the river clingin to a log for dear life.  Boy was something else.  Needless to say we let him go down the river the fourth time and politely told him to not come back.  Symbolic in away.  Archibald got taken by the river and that’s how we let crawler know he was fired.  Just let it carry him away until he finally reached the bank a mile or so down river.
I finally took Archibald’s post after we couldn’t find anyone to replace him.  I won’t lie I was scared at first, but then I remembered what Archibald had told me about all of us endin up stuck between two pieces of wood in the end.  I figured he was right so I would just go boundin across them logs day in and out just like he woulda.  I still didn’t know why that boy was always happy.  Even though I did the job, I still hated it. For a while anyway.
One day I came in about the same time Archibald used to and I stood there on the edge of the river and watched the sun come up.  I knew why he was so happy all the time.  Boy it was the most beautiful thing seein that sun comin up.  It was like for a second the world was just explodin with life. I’m not sure what it’s like to have money and be educated, but I’m sure it’s nothing close to watchin that sun come up like that over the river.  Wouldn’t ya know it though when the sun was done risin and I was about to finally get to work there was that goofy hat of Archibald’s washed up on the bank.  It was a little soggy but not in bad shape.  It was like that boy knew I was gonna be there and had just left it for me.  That hat didn’t fit to well and it looked awfully funny, but I wore it everyday I went walkin them logs.  Now I start everyday like Archibald did, standin on that riverbank with my lunch pal in one had and that bowler hat in the other watchin the sun come up.  Still don’t know why that boy wore the thing, but I’m glad he did.

I kno you all to well,
Makin' the wrong decision, with men, and start to dwell,
Livin' blendin' collisions within hearts you tail,
In the endin' you forgive him and say it's hard to bail,
I don't know why you let men beat you,
And mistreat you,
Go back and get mad that they had deceived you,
Now you only see the worst in people,
It's rare you see good, 'cause it's common you see evil,
I see through,
This obsession to be loved,
Need a lot now, because before you didn't get enough,
Start to talk to me when things are getting tough,
Your life feels like you are putting through the rough,
In the end all of these boogies make you feel lonely,
Treatin' you just like a piece of pepperoni,
Feelin' hella sad 'cause every girl just wants a pony,
Thinkin' everyday ferry tails are a little more phony,
If only,
Ya prince charming would arrive,
A man who would stand out from all these bad guys,
Someone to focus on what you need in ya life,
A pleasure, to take away all the plight,
I'd fight, and try,
To be a friend,
But the more we time spend,
The more I'm vibin,
Want more than to slide in,
You were someone that I confide in,
I'm fightin'
An inner battle,
To be the raft or the paddle,
Havin' trouble being the queen to you own castle,
Askin' me to be the shepherd to your cattle,
Findin' where I fit seems to be such a hassle,
Problem is I could never even try to trust you,
Known for betraying any man who tried to love you,
Foolin' my self believing I was strictly lustful,
But knew it was somethin' more every time that I touched you,
And it kills me,
The only time you get to see the real me,
Is when liquor fills me,
And I drunk text you all my feelings,
Spillin' my heart out,
Tryin' to negate a fall out,
Conflicted, wishin' your what I envision without a small doubt,
I'm there for you,
I care for you,
When he put his hands on ya, Where were you?
The man behind the scenes,
Hands inside his jeans,
Glamorized in dreams,
You I fantasize with me,
But in the end, I'm just a friend, with you watching Mean Girls and Anastasia,
Answer any call from my dream girl, "How can I save ya?"
All I want is you, I don't wanna be a playa,
I kno you all to well so we'll never be nothin' greater...

We’re breathin’ hot air
Talkin’ ‘bout class warfare
But the poor they don’t care
'Cause politics don’t mean nothin’
When you’re needin’ somethin’
To end your despair

They ain’t readin’
Intellectual half-witted bleedin’
Who go home smilin’
It don’t take much thinkin’
For you to be realizin’
The lies ain’t worth chokin’

When you see the same beggin’
On the dyin’ corner
You get to wonderin’
Why do they keep pleadin’
If it ain’t good or is it just somethin’
They can’t stop repeatin’?

It’s a thinkin’ man who knows
That even with nice clothes
You can’t sleep all that well
‘Cause he sees the endin’
Of the ******* dreamin'
He’s been trying to sell

What you can say
Is you really don’t know why
Except maybe you should try
Maybe the poor man is better off
‘Cause he ain’t worryin’ ‘bout pride
Or recollectin' his last lie

They keep pollutin’
And we keep losin’
No matter how hard your workin’
It’s an insider’s creation
And a suckers frustration
‘Cause the chads got no salvation

You stand in a group of
"friends"
Flaunting your features in
a minidress and and sparkling water
in your hand
People talk amongst us -
Near you, around me.
They seem to talk of you -
and only you, not me
Dont mind at all actually
You dont get it.
Protuding at sharp angles,
you're all bones.
Like a corpse stuck in
midstride - you have no
Swag
Legs thinned to paper.
Rib case sketched by the stretch
of your baby blue dress.
You flirt, dance, smirk
at everything that breathes
Sadly, no ones entranced.
Think all should be jealous -
even the homozygous.
Your ego bigger than
Nicki Minaj's **** -
it spans for miles


We talk, enjoy the night
until we hear something
Ugly
"only 115? That's all?
Lose a little more... Quit eating"
They leave, you weep
everyone stares
Afterall, youve just lost
your throne and jewels.
Too diluted with your thoughts,
you would lock yourself in the
bathroom stall
wishing for your fairy godmother
You run outside - tripping,
nearly falling, leaving a glass slipper
Behing
No one seems to care.
I glance at the two at my sides,
lucky to have such friends
Silent understanding passes between
Us
We make outside ~ findin
you cryin like the worlds endin
Holding up your shoe, we walk over
put my hand on your shoulder
Like a rail, hard and thin it is.
"Im sorry", you blurt.

"Dont be.. We'll buy you your own pizza."

Yea its mr leatherface
Puttin' fools back into place
Where they belong
Let the bells ring and hell sing
****** mo
Comin' to all my foes never been a **
Only roll with the show
Im talkin' guns galore and much gore
Jackin' my shot gun
To give out more
Aint no blessin' when thugs ride testin'
Puttin' these fools to shame
When i ignite my flame
Bless the 40oz ya see me puffin'
Them green leaves
But if im POD'd dont push me
Ya might bring out the killer in me
Stay strapped Eazy believe me
I know ya aint dead
Just in another dimension need i mention
For the game you done shined on me
Killers wanna be us
But dont know ****** mo been
Rolling with us
Since ninety four *******
Givin' up for them foos stalkin' gats n takin' bats
Bomb mr police from his back
Yall dont wanna jump or else get stomped
On like a roach waitin' for Satan
OUIJA cursed me since played the game
Me never no surrender
Killer drug dealer cap pealer the realer
The pain the mo energy feeds my brain
Uh im spawn hittin ya with the necroplasm
Glowin' from my eyes no saprize
Catch the tequila sunrise
Then i camouflage
Cuz a nigguh on the run with my shot gun
Blast up in yo assputtin'
All specs on they *** quick as the flash
Bomb cant dodge that bullet that hitcha
Mr ripsta linked the mad instka
Pen and my pad aint ******* ****
We live by it
The sword that is n if you got grown kids
Betta watch yyo step as the lord preps
My order quick to slaughter
Those who aint down soon to drown
With this **** sound
And even if ya doubt my skill
Ill come back harder slam ya
Like O neal and with that Heat
It'll make ya feel
Dumb numb o **** that fool don't wont none
Drenchin' in sweat
Because yo *** finna cash out
Roll with St Clair so dont dare
Try to come between my cash fiend
Endin' all dreams
Like ****** scene ill make ya scream
N tell the devil i said hi
And tell em he's next
Jackin' all demons in guise
****** warrior so who wanna plex?

Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Needle in my arm
Love note saying that I'm sorry i just loved you to much
I'm just ****** up now I'm gone
I know you don't like it when I'm on this ****
I got so much music in my soul maby I can sell it to the world
My words in there steros and I'm telling em all
**** it live life to the fullest till you ****** die
It could be tommorow
Baby I just wanna smile
Baby will you smile
Baby ****** smile with me
Theses wounds cut deep
I live a life you don't understand
I'm what you want but can you really handle who I am
I want shiny things and tattoos on my body so I ain't gotta say **** I can talk with my skin
Tattoo ink like a script you gotta question
Take a minute and get educated
Go to the left hand find the *******
Now notice how there's no more ***** for me to give my finger is feeling limp
So I'll just use my lips
**** society please baby run away with me
we can make each other's happiness a priority
First goal every day is to see your beautiful face lookin at me smiling
Xanax takes my memory's so baby please stay next to me
my vibe is heavy in my soul like a cupple tabs of lsd
I can feel you brightinin my world
Can you see me changin
can you see me changin
I'm trying but **** chaingin causes pain n I'm in the passing lane lookin out my passenger window
At myself
I can see the past in my face and the pain ive felt  
My life been ****** up who shuffled this deck what kinda hand I been delt
I got every thing I ever had,
and every thing I'ma ever gonna make, invested in this life
How they gonna stand there and watch me burn it like dryed leaves soaked in gasoline that we stand around in the fall to stay warm with homies while we kickin it
light some **** an have a cupple drinks
80 on the freeway we ain't speedin cuz honestly I got some product in the trunk
Selling ain't cool and it ain't easy
Even tho I know I could just go to work an make that cheese extra cheesy just cuz I got a lil guzmen in me.
These streets stay yellin at me in my daydreams
Talking bout the city in a drought flip a brick make a grip  
and get some fiends to rely on your buisness
At least when I'm weighin the work someone gonna be expectin me
and they smilin when I arrive
**** people been dreadin my presence my whole life at least drugs make me the one they wanna see
Baby im alive right now
I cant speak on next year **** I can't even promise you next week
Cuz when it comes to being about it fo yo homies yo family and yo friends then they say anything disrespectful and they likely ta catch lead
Body shots are Target practice we aimin for they head
Twenty five to life is what they tryina give us in tha 208
Half a zip of Crystal and they talkin life with without
man I was ony 21
Said if I told em three dealers above me I could catch probation and go free
**** that **** I run around with real gangsters take yo head off your shoulders
If you got loose lips round us you gonna learn
We catch an OP we spread the word
That black and white already been sent ta everyone ya heard
you aint aloud to play no more sorry but you broke the rules
If my mouth woulda opened right now I wouldn't be breathing
My paper work come correct you better believe it
**** y'all draggin my name in the mud
I been solid since I was to Young to be doin this ****
Girl if you wit me you gotta stay solid onehundred percent
Everything is handled in house we don't dial 911
unless we need a doctor or somethings burnin up
**** twelve they wanna see me hurting
**** twelve
They want wanna catch me serving to
these fiends but just these crack heads waiting till I can't supply
then they giving up my name to 5-O just ta keep themselves on they level
Chasin that high is like running from the devil
But he got a leash chokin you till you bowin down at his knees
Life lived
life wasted  
Life on the edge
**** it let's see the world I wanna make it
This my world I'ma do what I wanna y'all gonna know my name I'ma top shotta dumb dotta
**** around fall in love with the life you see around ya
Stay with me girl we gonna take a million dolla
Make it 4 times that over night
******* that grind baby so you can kick back and enjoy life
Shoppin in hollywood on rodeo drive
red carpet pictures capturin the moments we together in life
I'm fascineted by your body
Far from ordinary baby your unique
Can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Baby will you live life like the end is already happening
Treasure every moment **** what ever all thoes losers think
They say I'm wastin away
Druggin my life down the drain
Well let's be honest here my name is Dennis drain so pour your liquor dump your dope out let me take it all to the head
I can barely breath I might have just OD'd
I think I just OD'd
If you find me and I can't breath
Baby will you scream for me
Baby I'm sorry this is how you ever had to see me
Live life like I showed you **** what hurts deep inside
find beautiful places an people with smiling faces integrate with there minds to create a place on this world to sit down and just think
Even in the darkness of what comes after my last heart beat
Your memory will keep
My soul feeding off your energy
seeing you and me close
back when it was back then
Ya know not just in my head
But here in reality baby this is where I can feel your every breath
In a mansion smilin with cash
dressed in the latest fasions
Millions of people saying they fans of what I create
I changeed they lives with the music I made
I hope that this dream comes true cuz I'ma promise you that when it do
I'ma bring you wit me we gonna be rich like we filthy
swimmin in bills wit blue faces all hundreds no 20s no 50s
But if these dreams come up short and I'm stuck in this place will you stick with me
here on this dead end street
Is a 9 to 5, Makin 17.50 enough for your beautiful body to wanna come closer to mine
We might rent forever may never own a house
and I might go away for some time you might have to wipe them tears from your face
It's ok still crying
I love you
your mine
Put a smile on you mouth
Even when it hurts girl
If I'm wit you or i bounced
In the penatentry or on the couch
you what makes me smile baby girl and don't you ever forget that
Be mine till the end of time
But only if you won't regret that
When we find the end we can build on till infinity can't streach any more
Every moment till the moments finley find the end and we are no more
In reality or my memory cuz time took what I love away from me
baby you best
Baby  come close  I'ma hold you in my arms untill you tell me to let go
keep ya warm like toast  
butter yo bread when we in bed
hope you like the way I make you feel when I give you my passion
hopefully you see that this kinda ectasy don't just happen
I'm tryin my best to keep you feeling happy
Mind body and soul
Make yo body thirst for me
Girl I know yo smile only works for me
I see theses other women they looking good
but you the only one I wanna dance for me
Stop doubting your beauty it's not attractive to hear such a goddess of a women doubt the power of her attraction
Yo eyes catch mine and the police might as well of pulled out a 9
Cuz i cant move
I'm stuck on you
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
If I die I swear you'll be my endless dream
Baby baby please let's take life like it's drugs and do this **** together
feel the euphoria like we the same soul forever
They can't handle this **** that we doin
We don't fit the mold so baby we just out here bein different
They don't like that
they stay trippin
Can you handle me baby it's ok if you can't
Just let me know what it is you looking for in a man
If I can't give you what you want than I'll let you go
Cuz your happiness is what warms my soul
Even if it ain't with me
Every time I wake up weather its late afternoon or early morning
Depending on what I been dosing
Depression holdin on to me an I know I'm hard to love
But even when you with some other man if you cracking a smile
Everything goin good
you got money and a place to live
Then I'm smilin wit you I hope one day I'll meet yo kids
The world could die if you and I could float forever in space
with each other in the endless expanses of space
I hope we float around an never age never feel hunger
never feel pain
Fill each other with happiness an fix the broken thangs
Baby I know we just met so maby I'm crazy I really don't know yet
But I'ma offer you my heart you can have it
If the blood scares you
you can turn off the lights and feel it beat in your hand
Feel the energy and power every beat you feel sitting in the darkness
Baby I'm here for you
and every moment your with me I lose grip on reality
your the drug I want
just please forgive my evil deeds my past is full of terrible things
I try and keep that stuff down deep but it comes to say hello sometimes **** I hate it when these memories figure out how to make catchy rhymes
and when it does happen please don't think any less of me
I'm slowly changing please believe
I'ma be honest I'ma always do me
Sometimes doin me means sacrificing things
Things I love
Things I can't put a price on easily
my freedom is worth to much by itself
Now add YOU to my list of things they take from me if I go back to county and ******* I don't wanna go in that cell
"**** twelve"  police ain't **** catch me at the red light if you can
I'm quick to split soon as them red and blues start to flick
I want the love you show me to hold me when I sleep
**** thin blue mats and cold concreat
My body aches an I miss that cute twiching you do when you finally slip into your dreams
Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm who you wanna spend every moment you got left breathing in this life with
I know things don't always work out and we may never make to marriage and kids
But no matter what every word I've said I've meant
It's crazy cuz we just meet but I'm just kinda that way
Meet you one day the next I don't wanna let you go
I guess I'm kinda clingy but I'm blaming you an the way you sitting there with a blank stare licking your lips
I wanna hold you by your hips
Kiss you everywhere an feel your body twitch
So I'ma stay close play it by ear till you tell me to leave or we've been a thing for a cupple a years so it's kinda clear we a thing not a fling
were long lasting not just a quick  burst of hormones and physical addictions
I wanna feel you in every way but I wanna sit down and talk about your day
You were gone and I wasn't there
I miss you no put up your hair I like it when you use words to massage the parts of me that I only share with you
No matter what you being alive makes me wanna live life
It makes me wanna see the world
Cuz baby girl you make it easier to breath  
but at the same time my breath is short
I'm feeling light in the head
An weak in the knees
These feelings are intoxicating
A needle in my vain full of quality drugs can't match the moment you enter the room
Please baby come in leave and come right back into my heart
Every time I see your face after your dose of beauty has been outta my grasp even for just uno, dos, ... ****
thoes two seconds couldn't pass fast enough
I look you up and down I love your face your body is so perfectly curvy
Your outline got me followin the lines like I'm doin geometry
Girl you could make a man fall in love with math
I wanna find the angle you at when I'm holding yo ***
You catching feelings girl yea I know
Me an you we falling hard
we so hot our passion mealtin yards of snow at Christmas time
Green lawns in the winter months
We lounging like it's mid July
Sittin in a quiet place where it's easy to appreciate our own vibes
Can you feel me livin inside
I'm the reason that your heart keeps a smile
You the reason that my days go by to fast
Every moment with you is delicious I just want an order of it
Now super size it I want these feelings ta be never endin
Takin pictures now cuz in this life don't nothin last
I wanna look back and see how we used to act
baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle me
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
aint pay **** for it I got it all for free
Got home opened up the bag
Looked in to see your eyes starin back at me  
Used your vibes to fill a 100 CC IV
Baby please swim trough my veins
can feel the beat to my life
can you Bob yo head to the sounds when I live and breath
the notes inside my head keep me from fallin dead  
Every beat carry's  my soul and passion can you taste it
it's thick in the recipe they used to creat me
a mixture of insanity and passion
Someone please add a little common sense to to the mix it might help make a happier ending
I got the bravery but sometimes I just do
I don't always think and that's what's gonna tear me away from you
In a concreat cell that I can't even get up in without my feet freezing under me.
I make these dumb decisions when  I'm faced with two people opposing me
Mine or there's
So either you handle business or get punked out like you was raised buy some *******
I can't sit back and let these lames run they jaw
like they about they business
we throwing hands no question so baby I apologize If they start talking that **** and I ki one of them *******
I aint askin you to lie
I'm just asking you if you really about bein mine
Cuz if you were then you would stay solid hold back the fear and uncertinty
and tell all thoes people that wanna put me away
that I ain't do nothin that I'm innocent
and I'll tell the world that I love you till the very end
If you feel like you can't keep my secrets
Plz just do what your heart tells you is the right decision
cuz the truth will set you free
in that position it'll give me 25 years to think
25 years away from you
25 years away from me
25 years that I lose myself trying to find you inside my head
25 years to replay memories from the short time you been Makin my world seem brightened like your my sun your existing  decides if I live or die
Your memories never fade
I keep them in my mind on replay
Over and over in my head
slower and slower but still they move to fast
Glimpses of the recent past  that I wish my hardest would never pass
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
Baby if I die will you ****** scream
Baby if I die tear your ****** vocal coards to peices singing this song on the top of the world
high as **** with your last **** down at the bottom in the scared little girl you left behind when you came home with me
let my name echo in the world baby
I wanna be heard
I want my memory to burn into the minds of the ones who are just like me
BHC
Black hoodie crew yea that's till death make a generation follow my every breath
I want you to be with me
when they introduce my crazy *** to the world you that's listning
When I have thousands of fans and my name they scream
I want you next to me
Baby shine with me
When it gets dark and your alone remember that I ****** love you and justbe greatfull that I was
once asked  to spread words that create lifestyles
lyrics that give people hope in the world even when your seeing shadows
I want people to wanna be me and I want them to want you cuz I have you and they can't you love me
Cuz they love what I stand for and you stand next to me girl
BABY CAN YOU HANDLE THIS????

I try to mend this fragile heart
As my confidence decreases
Everything is falling apart
As I try to pick up the pieces
Deceitful lies, blind my eyes
To all this pain that I've internalized
I've been in denial for miles
My psyche defiled, my emotions exiled
And when I put myself on trial,
I always give myself the death sentence
It makes my dark side smile,
Just imagining my breath endin'
There's got to be some way out, but I just can't seem to find it
And my past remains unchanged, no matter how I wish I could rewind it
These thoughts, they feel like splinters, in my melancholy mind
Seems like my moments of sorrow are greater than all the joyful ones combined
And my idea of "happiness" has never been well-defined

By Arcassin Burnham


Hypertonic, To a weight on my shoulders in a form of the
Devil's choke hold,
I'm a liability with no facility with any story that can be
Told,
Saw this day was coming,looking for the signs in almost
Everything that I stand for,
the world is endin' and theres no repentin' for a Messiah
in the topic all before,

But now you're acting like you forgot,
There's is no Plan B,
You gotta get right with God,
If You Wanna Be Free,
My momma might not support my dreams,
I'm A Spiritual Kid , God Will do right by me,

/


I was predictively destined for your attention at the time and,
You gave me all of it...
Wasn't sure if you had a distance significant other,
But I had no time for it...

You missed your chance,
You let it slip,

I wanted you,
You didn't give a ****,

You had your life,
And I had mine,

Did you think of me or did You just lose track of time.

My life,
   The story of unforgivin never endin sin,
  Broken promises and memories, I cant help but to live em again...

Relapse,
  Im relivin the pen...
State to state,
  Id move the world for my kin... Make no mistake im going out on a limb...
  Stumbling around cause im gone off that gin...

My pain is insane i can feel it within..
  Who changed all the game cause i know it aint him...
Real's the new lame,
Its all the same to all them... Fakes an earthquake effecting the world that were in....

I speak thoughts everyday but your deaf to the truth...
I pray everyday but i dont have no proof...
They say in a way,
Gods where you look,
Id chase him all day if thats what it took...
  We speak all the same but his words got you shook...
  Your reaching for praise but theres no where to look..
...
And
...

****,
I cant quite land,
Im high in the sky,
I got the clouds in my hands...
I cant quite stand,
This life is a lie but id die for your hand...
  Just a rambling man,
Trying to express himself...
Your gambling hands when you should keep your bets to yourself..
#bored

One time I asked myself, do I like putting loved ones and family on the shelf?
So I can think about myself, do as I wish, risk dyin for a click, do all the drugs in the world and have every *****. Risk endin up in a ditch for a cause iv always been told was childish.

I don't has an answer but **** do I wish

I drink to relieve the pain but endin up reliving it
i just want to leave but you forced me to live in it
true love i was believing
then you told me you would be leaving

It started so long ago, batched pregnancy, or genes or just happenstance
The State comin' in to take the mentally challenged boy away from the Mother
His grandmother sayin', "Let em' go!" Her cryin', that ol' song and dance.
Then them keepin' that boy, wishin' they'd maybe had another
The Bullies, the bullies, beatin' that boy up to a pulp everytime
Of course he's actin' out, out of sheer boredom, exclusion, pure down loneliness
They all sayin' he won't amount to nothin' but husslin' a nickle and a dime
Or perhaps on a darker side of the Pinnacle of life, a bit more shady and endin' up felonious

Somethin' special happens instead of everyone's messed up ol' putrid stinkin' thinkin'
That mentality challenged boy realized he was different than everyone else, grew up profilin'
His morals and values fell below the poverty line, frankly now it's his attitude that's stinkin'
He became, man about town, givin' it down, yeah, he really thought he was stylin'

The lives he twisted as he manipulated every relationship right down to it's raw bone
Everytime ones gone, another came and gone, never time to think about retribution
Never time to hear inside his head, the lone voice, just a chance to finally be alone
Because wouldn't that be way too much to actually get in touch, what a revolution
Years go anonymously by, with him always abandonin' what he was shone

He always knew each relationship would end, drained, in tragedy and despair
Then one day his lackadaisical attitude brought disease and the end of his comedically fed life
As Someone takes serious interest, someone loving, bringin' a Southern charms fresh air
All it took was someone to love him, to break the spell that had circumvented his pathetic strife

That sad day when, after years of being loved, the mentally challenged man is now a caregiver
Watching as he gives care to that one, the only one that would ever love him, as they slowly die
He would do anything to save this life, what dealin', what possible things, a kidney... a liver
In the end, it was just squeezin' every moment of time together, rememberin' only the best things, no lie

Now, alone, finally broken, he grieves, finds his Creator, makes his peace, grows up
The years follow and he realizes his brain is damaged, people can't stand to be around him
Suddenly his Government says he may have to not receive care for a serious Disease, he wants to just give up
Prospects, there really are none, he really wants to go on but things look so grim

Guess my time's up, huh?
Should of known it to be so
Would of wished you'd figured this out at birth
I guess you just really didn't know
You could have put me to sleep
We do it everyday
When animals are sick we put them down
So they don't suffer this way
Years and years of never being accepted anywhere
You think I'd get a clue
Perhaps you think I should do it myself

NO! Sorry, I'll leave that up to YOU!

Bible readin'  porkchop eatin'
Just plain folks
Jackboot lickin' progressive kickin'
Just plain dolts

Routin tootin'  flag salutin'
Just plain folks
Diversity hatin',  minority blamin'
Just plain dolts

Neighbor helpin'   hound dog yelpin'
Just plain folks
Oxy poppin' history moppin'
Just plain dolts

Turnin' soil and tractor oil
Just plain folks
Gadsden flyin'   truth denyin'
Juist plain dolts

Preserve makin'   apple pie bakin'
Just plain folks
Mouthpiece TV,  supports insurgency
Just plain dolts

Fence a mendin'  cattle tendin'
Just plain folks
Vote suppressin'  democracy endin'
Just plain dolts

I'm taking a backseat, to the rhapsody, ridiculous travesty,
Can't even think about how far I go without gravity, this tragedy.

I wake up every morning, and I'm doing nothing but mourning.
Over the lost souls, empty treasured bottles, drifting at sea, but you can't find it in yourself, to ever forgive me.
So I wake up and do the same thing, every way, every day, no way to sway the hay, needle in a haystack, thumb tack, remindin us that we ain't ever gonna find ourselves.

So we remind ourselves, that our lives aren't on the shelves,
We delve, yet we never dive, try to survive, in this crazy time,
And I.
Don't know what to tell you when your on the ground and cry and want to die.
So the night's light, not bright, can't see at this height, the fright, and might of the weight of the world. This never endin swirl of emotion, commotion never gonna keep at this notion that I can be somebody that I want to be.

Can't you see.

That this life ain't something to scoff at. When you take off the top hat and jacket, you're all just part of us this noise and racket, won't stop.

Til you make it to the top, and sing that you're the king, sittin on you're throne, you don't know how the bare bone of your work and hone,
those skills you get from regret and set the standard, so bet on it.
That you can be honest.

And it's honestly stupid.

rereading All the King’s Men
American demagogue reappears again

Jack Burden burdened
The Boss’s troubled twin

A student of history
Anne Stanton’s boyfriend

The Great Twitch and Great Sleep
But he cannot pretend

To truly explain
The tragedy he’s seein’

Political contempt
Brings a bad ****** endin’

Those ignorant white hicks
Turn against you in sin

No good from the bad
Just the bullet assassin

But Jack not beat down
Gets the girl in the end

A little hope from Dante
last lines in rhyme

Into the future
Responsible in time