it seems like you've disappeared, vanished, evaporated from my life. have you forgotten about me?
or do you just not choose to acknowledge my cries for me?
i chose to believe in you, everyday, but it seems like you do not believe in me.

have you given up or me?
am i a lost cause?
perhaps this is why you haven't been answering my prayers.

God, are you listening to me? i need you.
hello?
its me, are you still there.

his dark hair,
his olive complexion,
his mysterious eyes,

drew me in like a moth fleeing to a fire.

but like the moth, going into what seemed good, ended with me getting burned.

have you ever ate so much much that you started to feel sick?

you're full but they just keep feeding you and feeding you.

you get so fed up until you just *****.

and then after you *****.

you feel empty

and shaky.

fragile







that's what my relapse felt like.

highschool

drug deals and parties,

drunk texting and ***,

condoms and bathroom make-outs,

diets and binges.

highschool

breakfast:
"I'm not hungry, mother. I will get something at school."
No, I'm starving, but I cannot eat breakfast because I have to thin.

Lunch:
"Oh, why am I not eating? I just had a big breakfast, friend."
No, I skipped breakfast because I have to be thin. I will not eat lunch because I  want to a have a skinny waist.

Dinner:
"Oh, Mother, Im not hungry mother. I had a big lunch!"
-
-
-
-
No, I skipped breakfast, I skipped lunch. I am starving, but I cannot eat because I have to little thighs

im so sad
im so sa
im so s
im so
im s
im
i
im
im s
im so
im so f
im so fi
im so fin
im so fine