I found I was inexperience the very day
I experienced my first experience,
So I decided to do wrong because
I was engaged in over righteousness,

I have sown a particular seed of truth
In the strange garden which I planted,
The seed must be allowed to germinate
And grow until it is ready for harvest,

It shall bear only one fruit,
The fruit shall contain only one seed,
This seed shall be the seed of crime,
Oh, some crimes brings much
Experience in liberty and justice,

We have been liberated in the
Mist of their inhumane crimes against us,
I wonder who really invented the name Africa,
They think we are poor and needy
But we are rich with excess
Untapped human and natural resources,
We are not lost
But have found the Black Star
Which is the compass for all mankind,

We never went to them,
They came to us,
They came to exploit us by cheating,
Deceiving and bringing confusion among us,
Oh, that old serpent, the devil,

They began colonizing us,
But with ***** on our side
None sustained into the twenty-first century,
They claim to be superior to the black man,
But this is just the beginning,

Within forty-years, we were able
To gain our independence
First with the spirit of Ghana
And finally crushed apartheid triumphantly,

We gave them a hospitable atmosphere
When they first arrived on our shores
As orphans and beggars,
Not knowing, they were looters and murderers,

They pride themselves as the introducers of
The Christian faith in the land of the Blacks,
They have no idea about Makeda, the Queen of Sheba,
Who later marriage King Solomon, the wise king,
No idea about the Ethiopian ******
Who was baptized by Philip in the name of Jesus,
No idea about Ras Kabutu Munhunutapa,
Was Jesus Christ not nursed in the Land of Blacks?

They realized the beauty in the
Black woman and had the gut
To propose to mother Africa (Sudan),
Upon refusal, they ***** and brutalized
Some of the daughters of mother Africa,
But the Almighty shall restore the excellence
And pride of Africa,
Like the excellence of the Garden of Eden,

Oh, what a devil with an attitude,
None of them speaks the truth,
They are full of injustice and deception,

Yes, Ethiopia is our home
And the Land of the Pharaohs is our pride,
We do not only boast in our ancient glory,
But we have a future glory of an Africa,
Which a future Mentuhotep II shall unite us with,
Yes, a future glory of black superiority,
Which a future Ras Kabutu will make us behold,

We are all pilgrims walking on the same
Road with different destinations,
Yet they are afraid of a united African force,
They shall surely give an account to Him
Who is ready to judge the living and the dead,

They sold us as slaves in order to
Steal our pride, depopulate and demoralize us,
So that, they can use their secondary
Intelligence to exploit our resources,
But they will not succeed for long,
For we know their ways of deception,
Yes, we are the prisoners of hope,
Very soon, we shall be like Jewels of a crown
Lifted like a banner over the earth and space,

Is it normal to be normal?
Oh, see how the Balance weighs down
The opportunist and the Group of Eight,
Inequalities have taking over the
Impartiality and fairness of man,
Who got away with the last hit?
The answer is always in the naive one
Who has purposed in his heart not to answer,

For they built themselves towers,
Heaped up our silver and diamond like dust,
And our gold and timber
Like the mire of the streets,
Behold, the Almighty will cast them out,
He will destroy their powers in the sea,
And they will be devoured by fire,
For we are the children of Tweaduampon,
The ones made from the richest part of the earth
The cradle of mankind,
The true descendant of Ras Kabutu,

We are the Africans
We are the survivors,
We seek a Heavenly Nation,

We keep our faith in the African Personality,
We keep our eyes on the road of African Unity,
Keep your head up on the Black star,
Keep on keeping on in the Black mentality,
Without defying the establishment!


© PRINCE NANA ANIN-AGYEI
Email: nanaspeaks@gmail.com

grey and worn
the lawn chair has dead leaves stuck to it
its one bent arm an expression of pained indifference
mud clings to its feet
and a single vine like a thin snake
wraps its way across its frame seeking the sun
i pull at it to set the chair right
to seat myself
and **** at the breeze from the open field
marvel that a cow stands not five feet away
silently watching my every move with a wary eye
lunching on the grass and ****
but the chair now uprooted from its long held position
seems more than ever a proclamation
of mans intent to be seated here on heavens lawn
clear illustration of the intent that you are supposed to
take this bent greasy seat
sit at your leasuire
in the bountiful sunshine
it is one of a dozen in the field
in this beautiful slice of heaven

the lawn chairs
litter the field like broken teeth
set in a line that wanders across the wilderness growth
each having suffered from years standing in the open field
two almost completely consumed by bushes
one had been tossed into the tree
where time had swallowed it into the bark
this broken and brutalized fence of chairs
these lawn chairs of heaven's field
sit in this beautiful place some would say eyesore
i say artwork of life's randomness...
what party of fools once sat here
dressed no doubt for the occasion
perhaps celebrating
perhaps mourning
then got up from these plastic seats
and left them behind as testament
to that forgotten day...
so i sit in heavens lawn chair
a mute salutation to my unknown compatriots
who painted this pastoral scene
of plastic in a field

Forced by covenant to conceal
The wound you carry deep
Too dangerous far to now reveal
The secret you must keep

The truth, it’s said, can set you free
Whose truth, I ask my heart
Some truth must hide, to shadow flee
Or slay as a poisoned dart

A truth which must be guarded well
Though to be shouted loud it cries
Must be restrained and forced to dwell
Within a citadel of lies

A soaring fort of alabaster walls
Splendid turrets as disguise
Conceals pits beneath its gilded halls
Where love lies brutalized

Though we ache for all the world to see
To the heart, it matters naught
Two souls are not united by decree
Nor love with license bought

So truth must wait and a prisoner remain
In lonely cell, there to abide
Believe dreams of freedom are not in vain
That gates, one day, will open wide

A fortified wall is nothing against a surfing barracuda
during a bad dream full of bad intentions:

Wave-action makes you look drunk,
stumbling in the water, lazy as a jellyfish carcass on shore I stare at you.

I am with that girl
the one in the silvery bikini
and wet hair,
fanning on her clumsy shoulders in thin strands.

I'll be with her till the end. I'll make this stand. This stand against the wave coming in.

Turning around in the barrel of a wave,
you wave me in with you;
smiling up to your incisors. How cleanly
you are able to bite off chunks of meat.

The wave womps the **** out of you.

Thunder is under there, thunder
of waves, lightning of jellyfish,
brutalized clams,
hard-pressed sand,
all confused in the barrel of betrayal that is the wave,
while the wave yawns and grins.

Nothing can stand the wave,
I hope you ******* drown in there;
I hope that others just like you,
eat you,
that you become seafood.

Dump: A Commissioned Poem

Someone commissioned me to write a poem about the word, dump.  Not a pretty word, but a workingman's word, full of possibilities and mystifications.  Gratefully accepted.

so many, endlessly endless.
bringing paper, cans, compacted
words,
all in need of special disposal,
special handling,
individuation of caring.

I split myself into multiple personas.
blue, green and some other color,
divine myself into receptacles for the sounds
you write, that must be read aloud, slowly,
in order to properly, allocate,
to dispose,
of.

sustainability.
not the planet,
something smaller,
more
man-ageable,
man-agreeable.

your verse!
you in verse is multidimensional,
yet unified,
one theme,
single answer to a questioned couched
a thousand different ways,
a thousand different poem titles!

how can I sustain myself?

sustain
— verb (used with object)
to support, hold, or bear up from below; bear the weight of, as a structure.
to bear (a burden, charge, etc.).
to undergo, experience, or suffer (injury, loss, etc.); endure without giving way or yielding.
to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, etc.) from giving way, as under trial or affliction.
to keep up or keep going, as an action or process: to sustain a conversation.
to supply with food, drink, and other necessities of life.
to provide for by furnishing means or funds.
to support (a cause or the like) by aid or approval.
to uphold as valid, just, or correct, as a claim or the person making it

you are in the dictionary,
did you know that?

now I will answer in a free man's verse,
written without hesitation but with plenty of
tears and tissues
and rememberings of his own
wasted days, major successes,
bathtub ships,
righted
and passengers saved.

Words written in a single breath,
no exhalation just simple purity,
best wishes that any man can have,
if daring, he reaches inside and,
rips himself open,
saying it's ok, and meaning it,.

so here I am
standing looking you in the eye,
sitting with both arms draped
over your body,
saying
dump,
dump it all on me.

Cause I got a billion words that rhyme with
comfort.
Bring me the past and the future uncertain.

I already told you
never read a poem I did not like.

got slots for cans paper and compost,
got slots for fear, heartache and a big ole wide one for
pain.

got a heart shaped dump
that never closes.

The city council complains,
your name ain't Moses,
you are a city boy,
why you hanging in the wilderness for forty more,
didn't you do your time?
ex wife that brutalized your soul.
two sons who barely speak to you.
let someone else take over,
and I smile saying exactly,
I got experience,
I got Kleenex,
don't know nobody else better
Boy Scout
Be Prepared.

See,
even you can dump on me
effortlessly.

So.
ask not what you will bring.
cause I got an opening for anything you can
dump,
and land fill of me that has so much space,
billions of acres and neurons that will lay fallow,
until your poems, plaints, sailings and wailings
fill them.

so that is my poem,
dump,
even,
I like it.

May even dump some of mine on someone
like you.
after all
who in this world cannot use some
sustaining.

Told my feelings were fake
Laughed at for crying
Brutalized for refusing
Depicted as anomalous
This is my "home"

I exploded, caught a breath as I felt the silencing

Crossed volatile environments
Misunderstood ephemeral friends
Bullied, ostracized
Experienced injustice
This is school

I performed, in the illusion of shutting silencing

Living my curiosity
Knowledge is my strength
Reflexivity makes me grow
Embracing my difference
This is my refuge

I introspected, in the freedom of their paralyzed silencing

Meet mind-like people
Discovered my emotions
Explored my preferences
Dug my family history
This is my travel

I free-fell, as in my trust I hit structural silencing

Communicating humbly
Nourishing healthy relationships
Trusting my positions
Affirming my autonomy
This is my womanhood

Becoming a mother, I urge to gather the pieces for her freedom

Guns are everywhere in sight
Muzzles, fire and fright.
Blood running through sewers
like flooded rivers in mid-May,
when it should be running through veins.
Slain bodies once filled with life
are now filled with undeserved death.
Pain seeps through the eyes
of brutalized victims as they weep.

A mother pleads to God
with hopes He will breath life
back into her daughter's lungs
as a child stands over the rotting
bodies of bystanders,
and waves at the flies
Unrest fills the air
while fire's are burning under water
Tragedy burns the face down to a tear,
Could Hell get any hotter?

Mirages mirror terror,
Silence in broken mirrors.
It may seem that voices don't exist
in places like this,
And that a difference lies off
in the distance;
out of reach, unattainable.
But they do.
A blind man's eyes become
his hands and his ears
when he needs to see,
While the mute lack a voice,
they still find a way to say,
"Hope is never all lost."

They need to know they are not alone.
Battles are being fought all over this world.
War, famine, sexism, racism.
A fight between mother and father.
Grief for the loss a lover.
We can all relate,
in one way or another.
Ignore ignorance, become informed.
Silence does not defeat violence,
nor is strength needed to beat it.
Courage and a heart
are needed to defeat it,
along with the will to believe
it can be defeated.

Throwing punches with fingerless fists
and broken spirits can seem useless,
but more has been done
with less.

Remember, a voice with something to say
is harder to forget
than a voice
that is
silent.

(Earnestly)* I beg to move the motion
Standing on the Order Paper
In my name and those good names
Of my Right Honourable Friends.

Straight up, I’ll say, it’s right that we this House
Should debate this issue, should pass judgement.
That is democracy; that is our Right
That others elsewhere struggle for in vain.
Again I’ll say I do not disrespect
The wavering of those not yet convinced.
This is a tough choice and – yes – a stark one:
To stand down our committed troops and turn back
Or to hold firm and so continue on.

I strongly believe that we must hold firm.

The question most people will ask is not
Why does it matter – no – but why so much?
Well, as we brave this new Millenium
And face up to the Nation’s greatest threat
With our majority already stretched,
A resignation from the cabinet,
With all the other parties also split,
With everywhere the closest of allies
In disagreement while on different sides
Those who usually would not agree
Agree on this. The people, this parliament
Echo the discord with an echo made
Less bitter as time passes, not less grave.

So why, then, does it matter quite so much?
Because the outcome of our firm resolve
Will find itself determining much more
Than Iraq’s future and her peoples’ fate
More than the liberty of an whole race
Brutalized in Saddam’s sick sick name.

It will in fact decide the way in which
Britain, the world and we confront the threats
Our right to liberty requires met.
It will, what’s more, affect the UN’s role,
EU relations, Transatlantic ties,
The manners of the US in the world.
It will prove the political pattern
For a generation, perhaps more, to come.

This is no longer the time to falter;
I will not be party to such a course.
This is now the time for this house to lead;
To show that we will fearlessly confront
Terror, tyranny and dictatorships
Which threaten to put all our lives at risk.
To show that at this moment of decision
We have the courage, we have the vision
To do the right thing. I beg to move the motion…

Outside, it's cold as ice
But I can feel the blistering heat around my neck.
The burning grip, I can't escape
leaving me mutilated as I cease to breathe

These are the hands of a murderer
inhuman and inanimate
I thrash through the embers
in attempt to escape
the vicegrip that leaves me bleeding,
gasping,
burning amongst the flames

I am a brutalized, bleeding corpse.
Pain and indifference drips onto the floor
with every worthless step that I take
The demons have stabbed me repeatedly
I've lost every drop of humanity I had

Everything I've ever loved has been destroyed
This is not what was meant to be
It's me and my demons, and I've just lost it
Someone's going down, and it's not me

Today I will tear the hands of my demons from my brutalized, mutilated face
I will pull the devil's crushing deathgrip
from my lifeless corpse.

I shall watch the blood pour from his body,
Listen to his bones begin to shatter,
and the screeching sound of his
inhuman, brutal wretching
like the squeals of a pig.

I'll set him ablaze and watch him burn.

The devil's vice-grip hands couldn't hold me down.
I'm ready to start my mission.
I'll tie my demons to a tree
and do unto them what they've done to me

I'll tighten these chains around their neck,
Just like they tried to do to me.
I'll watch them suffer, struggle to breathe
Then I'll tighten these chains some more.

and when they think they've reached the end
I'll stab them with knives a hundred times.
Soak them in gasoline, light the match
I'll watch the flesh fall off their burning bodies.

And I'll do it with a smile on my face.

This job will not be done
until each and every one is wholly
unrecognizable,
Skulls shattered into a million pieces,
Bodies thrashed, cut up and burned

They thought they were certainly
stronger than me.
But they would soon meet their demise.
I put a bullet in all their heads
and they all hit the ground, dead.

They should have listened to what I said.
Should have ****** with someone else instead.
I put bullets in all their heads.
Now they're all ******* dead.

A sidewalk canvas
Half done slush
An oil slick
Twice frozen ice
And boots that slip
A train just missed
The red eyes glare
Rain that floats
In sour air
Brutalized concrete
Bleeding rust
Filthy floors
And alley walls
Spent cigarettes
In every nook
Steel that shrieks
In cold protest
Blue lights
And a defiant poet
On every corner

Did you know that slaves who fought their way to freedom escaped white liberty?
They make liberty and justice for all a relevant and possible concept
Are you aware that escaped black women were the first to conceive freedom in America?
Did you know that the eradication of white supremacy will be brutal and violent?
Did you know that after being brutalized the only way to demand respect is to be even more brutal in return?
Did you know that after what white America has allowed and done to dark skinned humans it is surprising any white Americans are still alive and not buried by vengeance?
Take a look its in a book
Its reading rainbow

Hay Bale
Hay Bale
What’s a bale worth about thirty dollars a thousand pounds how much if you factor this in an old farmer
Kneels makes a lowly bale of hay his altar this isn’t the breezy free prayer this is a soul brought to this
Place hidden away by burdens that come in waves they find the deepest core of this man’s soul on the
Order of David Brainerd who was said to kneel in the snow and from the throws of Godly sorrow such
Struggle would create enough human exertion to burn at extreme enough level to melt the snow hair
Wet and matted face touched with the incomparable grace bestowed only on those who follow hard
And Close enough to the master to receive the blunt force power the souls of this life buffeted and
Stretchered by all manner of problems the houses you pass without interest or curiosity is of extreme
Concern to the one who stops and dwells when he hears a heart crying in a lonely setting caused by
Disease or unexpected death for this he searches a human agent to rush to the breach stand in the gap
By prayer harness the wind and storm that is breaking over this broken one never believe that this is
Easy you are literally inviting the spiritual equivalent to what they are experiencing naturally the toll will
Wring from you every ounce of your strength and you will give full vent to all the tears you can produce
This is the price the answer demands you of course get the news from the enemy your all alone no one
Cares what a lie three hearts are being pulverized by a hammer of trouble the soul it began with the nail
Scared and he the deep whip marks that will never fade in this ugly descriptive show of purist love he
Still walks bent and bowed from this load and the third knelling just by a lowly bale of hay his inward
Man matching the savoir in all areas suffering physically spiritually and the coldest blow of all you in
Every regard are alone no light no comfort and every accusation the enemy can muster is leveled at you
The battle struck there is no retreat a soul under attack will not survive the onslaught this is heavens
Plan no deviation will be excepted devotion to a cause and a people never knew this quality of glory and
Honor the first indication of how important a son of very God must be brutalized and from unequaled
Innocence be put to death on a cross the price and ransom the debt fully paid but continues through the crudest altars even a hay
Bale.

Think you can walk on me?
Think you can walk away?
Think you can take me?
I know your darkness, honey.
I know your corners full of cobwebs and shadows,
The places within you.

Think I'm innocent and pure?
Sure.
I have not torn lace and tasted flesh,
Or sharped my fingernails on the ridges of a spine,
But I have been to hell, sweetness.
Been dragged below a grave,
Gouged wet dirt with mine,
Desperate hands scrabbling to pull me back
To rainy bitter nights.
I have lain bare and ****** on the cold stone floors, stained blue and black,
Burned beyond a breath, beyond thinking,
Beyond hope.
I've been brutalized and torn apart inside.
To compare evisceration to the blooming of a rose,
To say I've had the far away gentler time.
To think I am naive as you suppose,
That I couldn't possibly know the foreign lands
Traveled by your mute experienced hands.

Think because I ask for you I need you?
It is my nature to give, but not to take.
Not to take love when I am not offered it,
But also not to take any more ****.

If you look into my eyes, do you see fear?
Of anything, in their depths?
Keep looking, search away-
You'll not find it here.
You'll see my rise and fall, my grand absurdity,
But you'll not see my obeisance
To someone who will not match me
Mile for mile,
Straight down.

I have seen hell, you see.
Gazed long and hard and deep.
Purred savage in its velvet caress-
The way you have unzipped a dress,
I have unzipped my skin
And stepped out.
So look on, look lust, look IN-

I am no white snowflake, glittering
Fragile and quick to melt and meld.
No sniveling child begging weakly to be held.
I am a rainstorm drumming on my own back,
A rhythm and reminder of the tenderness I lack,
I am a lightning strike,
Sudden focused and intense, the white
Hot touch of the phantasm immense.

I am the song of suffering and of love,
I need no substance to loose my demons,
No dizzy fiery nectar to lose my mind.
I am complete unaltered, and sublime.

I have known centuries beneath my skin,
If no one's touch,
And words of every meaning through my wanting veins
For wanting such.

And you, girl, are not worth my time.

Push her blushing into bed, raise her pulse to reeling heights,
For I have pushed the world beneath my kneading hands, and pulled the sun to night.

Ravage rashly through the silly schoolgirls that you find.
The way into a woman's soul
Is the seducing of her mind.

Walked to the lake nobody around
Watery clear mirrored no sound
Fish made their move taken by surprise
Divine Love entered the clearing in disguise
Appeared from nowhere crossed time bridged space
How did Love know where to find this place
Knew from the start Love wanted her heart
To make her stay from far away
Destined to meet had no idea why
Kind hopeful passionate romantic guy
Foliage reflection silent forest clime
A window a portal a wormhole in time
Peeked through the veil past the Divide
Clandestine link to the other side
A kiss a chain two souls linked together
A golden moment personified forever
To a river where the crowds gather
Followed invited welcomed her there
Visualized materialized the crack sublime
The crowd parted for her proof paradigm
Her mission veiled her purpose oblivious
Death lurked undetectable ubiquitous
Invisible Denizen of Fear
Behind in front at her side always near
Waited for a mistake hoped for a lie
A justified excuse to take her life
Stalked her everywhere dragged her around
Wondered when to take her down under
The ledge behind the edge set up high
Nowhere to hide Death always close by
Steeled herself gathered her strength
Lethal Weapon disarmed; Exigent Innocent
Luminous Numinis shielded on all sides
Taken to dark regions unknown unseen by eyes
Brainwashed cornered Captive memory gone
Stood her ground as Death stared her down
Lured to the river hard cold fast water slid past
“How  Can  I  ....  You, I Love You”, Death asked
Brutalized left for dead her sentence repealed
Death needed permission the plan revealed
Passed back through the portal unscratched
Delivered home safe to Divine Love at last

You are so much more
invested in
domesticated
or non-domesticated
furry friends
then Syrian refugees
who look more
like you and me.

You are so much more
invested in
a piece of multi-colored cloth
that ***** in the wind
a symbol
of an idea
that has not been
fulfilled
then the victims of
drone bombings.

You are so much more
invested in
a barely ancient book
then women’s rights.

You are so much more
invested in
police authority
then those oppressed
for centuries,
those brutalized
incarcerated,
demonized,
enslaved,
and murdered.

You are so much more
invested in
sports and reality shows
then education
and the pursuit of truth.

And here is what
your investments
netted you
apathy, violence,
greed, destruction,
pain, suffering
terror, and the dividends
are still pouring in.

God had a green card
But cannot get back in the gate.
The Bricks are thick
But not so tall, I think
God may need to scale the wall.

Are we safe in structures gated
Must we stay in this prison
Where women are hated.
Our bones are hidden in tunnels.

Where has my mother gone
My sisters have disappeared, been
Abducted into a cult; Suspicious
Disinterest displays their guilt.

There has been nothing to report.
Maybe she has run away
To find a new God, Someone has
Touched her, she was not safe there
In her own bed, in her own home.

Some Blackman- Chanted hate lyrics
At her; Encouraged by their overseers.
Asian cultist cursed her in the womb.
In India they ostracized and brutalized
Her melanin, Queen of England, a
******, watches through syphilitic
Eyes without concern.

Beautiful cocoa,vanilla, and mustard
Babies sold or married off to smelly
suitors for ***, before puberty; mere
Children, march and are showcased
For the wicked pleasures of men.
But should I call them men?

Remember we once ruled this planet
Remember once we bore your beloved sons,
Now we work and twerk our bodies
As we answer to your perversions
We no longer dance to bring rain.
We slide down poles reluctantly
Displaying our pain.

My mother is crying for me
My sister's are crying for me.  
God will ignite the lamp of justice
God now has her green card and shall
Return us "Back to our Spiritual selves.

We dared not become too ripe, though
We must remain agile or we be thrown away
Like rotten fruit, never to be seen again

God now has her green card and
Will return us back to our Spiritual State.
Once again - You shall call us "Heaven".

Woman, who created man in her womb..
Became the enemy of man, and has been cast off.
We cannot testify with ovaries or inverted testicles.

Soon there was no natural preference
No perspective of gender has man !
Procreation ceased,the ****** forever
Banned to bear ovarian fruit.
We who remain alive wait.

Awaiting a Foreign God who's eager to
Receive her green card, and save us from our fate.
From the hands of a wicked system
We are doused in the agony of acid
Women perish, For the mercy of death we pray.

My mother is crying for me
My sisters are crying for me.
God will again ignite the lamp of justice
God now has her green card;
And shall return us to our spiritual state.

Remember we once ruled this planet,
We bore your unloved seeds, who
You've turned against us; We shall
Return them unto our bosoms....And
Once again, you shall call us " Heaven" !


© Vicki Acquah

My mind is frayed
Making me miss the days
I used to self-medicate
Didn't have to hesitate

Those days are far away
Sobriety making a lengthy stay
And it makes me manic
Paralyzed in an unending panic

Honestly I feel like ****
Calm and composed for a bit
Then hopelessly falling
Substances are calling

And it's ****** up
That I'm stuck up
Left confused and alone
Not to mention dangerously prone

To hatred and deprivation
Brutalized on the verge of starvation
I'm on a downward streak
Feeling more and more weak

So my pen bleeds words
That no one has ever heard

Once there was a heart,
it was stomped on, stabbed, stitched clumsily, it was obviously falling apart
it was that close to giving up.

Then along the path the heart net a queen,
the kind queen stitched and repaired
a heart that had been brutalized throughout the years
and loved it until that heart was pristine again

Then the queen had to go away,
but right where she met it the heart stayed
it didn't care about the distance it just wanted her back
he couldn't bear having to try again only to have its fragile cast cracked

It had found it's mate of the soul, it's reason to go on
it found a love and affection that carried it to the stars and beyond
some say it still wanders around.. asking to this day?

Queen? my queen? where are you? will you stay?

Jesus
I don't even know what to say to You
I'm standing here
With empty hands
And broken eyes
Accusing You
Of teasing me
Of broken promises
Scorpions instead of bread
My soul feels brutalized
Bereft
In the wake of such violence
I'm reaching out
And grasping empty air
My hands are empty
As though the promise of eternity
Has passed through my fingers
I tried to hold the light
As though I could keep it in my hands
Only to find
It just fades away
I'm searching for You here
In these empty places
Only to find
I'm becoming more lost
And more is being taken away
I have stood here before
With empty hands
And broken eyes
Searching for a Savior
Who never seems to come
I gave my whole life to You, Lord
Built my world around Your promise
Counting on a Sun
That never seems to rise
My God, I feel so bitter
Empty and alone
Ripped apart
Abandoned
How can You possibly ask me to trust
When You only seem to hurt me?
I don't want to believe anymore
I just hide here in my room
Blocking out sounds
Of lives still in the sun
No one is coming
Not for me
Not for me
Don't You see me crying?
With these empty hands
And broken eyes
I just cry
I'm not strong enough
To be what You want, Lord
I'm just not enough
Is that why You left me alone?

The revolution will not be televised,
unless it is being used to vilify,
or is being politicized
by those political guys
trying to score votes.
Any fair press will be silenced or brutalized
along with other protesters.
The leadership will be euthanized,
or demonized unless they can be
subdued quietly.

If you are under the illusion
that you can fight back physically
you must be mentally silly.
The cops got equipment
left over from the military
cause the war machine
wants to sell our government
the newest toys.

If our government has any say
they will find a way to lock away
anyone who might inspire change.
If you don’t believe me
just look and read
about Assata Shakur,
or Angela Y. Davis.

If you know or love anyone
who is out there trying to save us,
from the congressional and big business,
power hungry alliance
you better pray that they keep their defiance
just low key enough to slip the notice
of Law enforcement, or POTUS,
cause this country isn’t for us
and does not provide justice.
It is just a business that is made
to break and degrade
while the working class is enslaved.

Wake up
What a circus
To watch
On the TV screen
Waco
Thugs?
No
Danger to society?
No
Evidence of inherent white violence?
No
Just the boys
At it again
No one beaten by cops
No one brutalized by police
Or the media
Just another white day
In a white town

My imposing figure.
Wrought by iron.
A chained Goliath.
Humming hymnals.
Pleading to a higher power.
Polaris guide us once more.

Break our hands.
To quiet the rattle.
Take our breath.
To silence the prayers.
Beat us down.
To keep us from standing.

The blood that binds us.
Brothers and sisters.
Wash our countrymen.
Their stained clothes.
Impossible to hide.
Tower above them.

My imposing figure.
With its earthen tones
And crimson cuts.
Strikes fear in you,
Because it should.

Screams permeate this infernal mist. I am surrounded by quaffs of smoke so thick that they could be volcanic spew. My lungs are scorched from the flames rising on either side of me, while lashes of fire are biting and stinging my painfully dry skin. Thick black billows of fiery smoke rush to my face, burning my skin and killing my sense of smell. Still I have no choice. If I want to survive I must struggle on. I drop to the floor to half crawl half shuffle under the smoke. Broken glass is strewn across the floor. Thank goodness I managed to get my shoes on before the bomb went off. My neighbor Bob ran away barefoot and as I followed his footstep I can barely see and but clearly feel the slippery smears of blood from his feet painting the floor.  To my right I hear the wails of a woman burning and to the left the shrieks of a baby crying. I turn left and pray that someone will come for the lady, or that she dies soon. The dark clouds of ash are so thick that I can’t keep my eyes open for more than a second because they keep watering up.  I stumble through the hall into a bedroom, following the now ragged sobs of the infant.  Almost as soon as I reach the child the screaming stops. I reach for him, her, it. It is limp. I cradle the soft body against my chest. Maybe just maybe if I can get out here I will have a chance. Please let me have a chance. Someone grabs me from behind. I struggle for a few second, panicking until he yells in my ear
“this way, follow me out.”
Within seconds I find myself passing under the archway and out into daylight. Behind me the building moans and shudders. Then for a few seconds I can hear nothing but a whoosh as the building collapses. I am struck by the moment, then by a shard of glass which pierces the back of my neck. The EMT is yelling at me. I don’t know why. A police officer comes over and tries to pry my hands from my chest. Then I remember the baby. I let go of the body and I see the horror on the face of the EMT. I try to sit down slowly, but I collapse while the world around me becomes a black fog.
I awake to terrible pain. My lungs ache but my hands and neck hurt worse. They are covered in bandages so I cannot see the real damage; which is good I don’t want to know. In the days that follow I have several visitors. Some call me a victim of a horrible tragedy. Others try to label me a hero.
The baby survived. We were two of three survivors out of a hundred or more. A hundred or more is what they tell me. That is supposed to be a conservative guess. They found the bodies of 72 adults, 36 children, and a dog. A dog, I was certain that having an animal in that building was against the rules. Whatever.
It has been three weeks. I’m free of the hospital and bandages, but not free of the dreams. Every time I sleep I see big and little bodies burnt to a crisp dragging themselves along the cemetery ground, following a funeral procession passes. As I walk by, one of the charred bodies reaches for my hand, begging for help in a dry and raspy voice. A smaller burnt figure struggles to reach me. I go to pick it up and the body crumbles to dust. More frightening forms rise from the ashen earth and now I am surrounded. Not just burnt bodies but bodies with bullet holes, bodies with lacerations. Each one asking for help each one deformed in its own way. The stench of rotted flesh makes me so nausea that I try to throw up my lunch instead burnt flesh and smoke fills my throat. The crowd of corpses continues piling on me faster and faster till I am drowning in a sea of corpses. Sometimes the dream ends there other times I am visited by more horror. One time it was a different nightmare. Corpses spewed from my voice into the daylight until they blotted out the sun. The earth grew barren.  Animals were devoured by the rotted corpses.  Plants shriveled falling to ground, and I stood alone among a sea of endless corpses the last living thing.
Another week or two later, I stop sleeping. Well, I stop sleeping with the exception of the occasional catnaps when my body just shuts down and even the caffeine and ephedrine can’t keep me awake. On the news I hear religious leaders and politicians railing against the terrorist. They say it is time to bring the fight to them.
For some reason I am invited to stand up and speak at one of those rallies so I do. I extol the virtues of our great nation. I cry for vengeance against those who murdered my family and friends. The leader of our local temple pats me on the shoulder and thanks me for my patriotism. I am honored by his words.
Now I have found some power, so I rise to the occasion more often. I speak of the evils of oppression and violence, while supporting other forms oppression and violence. I along with other orators yell and rant about the threats to our freedoms while my government takes away the freedom of others. We speak of sacrifices that must be made. However, when I stop and think about it the sacrifices being made are not by everyone. The poor families send their children of to fight for our safety while the rich and powerful remain safe. Oh well, it must be done.
A year passes. I watch my government target people of a certain race. They torture them and hide them in foreign prison. There are rumors of beatings and mutilations. I ignore them. Even if it is true it is necessary in the name of freedom. Our enemies would not show any kind of mercy. Then they come for another group of people. I understand this is what must be done. Therefore, I do not intercede on their behalf. Although others do start to stand up. They resist. We real patriots know the truth though. These people are traitors. In a time of crisis one cannot question the government. I watch these traitors get shunned and brutalized by their neighbors. They are ostracized for their beliefs. Good. In the end they too are taken away.
The government comes for another group of people and another and another. Till, now I am one of the few left. I start to question the state of the nation. Now I open my mouth, and speak out against the fascism. But now is too late because it is my turn to feel the wrath of a military state.
They come for me with angry dogs and rage in their heart. They come for me with intention to beat me down like an animal. They come for me with grim intentions and all I can think is I wished I had spoken up sooner.

he snarls, she sobs
tears really can fall
and they fall like rain

her tender skin
brutalized
her blueblue eyes
close again

same scene
difference nightmare
she’s screaming louder
so hit me, i dare you to

i’ve been down and out
seen the worst, worse than you
hit me, I dare you to
a simple punch, a vicious word
can’t pierce these scars
can’t close these eyes

these broken eyes

kept wide shut
keep the monster away

As I walk through this life
I am burning.
Burning alive.
Flames ripping
Tearing at my flesh.
I have been terribly disfigured
Left a mangled shell
Of my former self.

As I walk through this life
I am reviving
Reviving my soul.
Bandages healing
Light restoring.
My disfigurations fade
But never leave.

As I fall into hell
Temptations ravaging me
As the hungry flames
Taint my skin
I know I am falling
And I feel it.
But can I change?

Lifted up
I feel restored
My wounds healing at once.
But I know that there are others
Falling
So I must go back.
I must return.

I am no longer falling
Though I constantly waver
I push through the flames
Standing strong when attacked
Brutalized by those I love.
But I must go back down
To bring them up.

Listen
Can you hear it?
Through the calloced,
Burned eyes
Of the carcass.
The flame
Thrown unto them
Like a ball.
Caught
With deadly force,
They fall.
Cooked
On the earths grill
Of hot ground,
And plants
Light up
Like burners.
The melting tears
Of a childhood home
Kills their history.
No mark left
To signify they lived,
Even for a moment,
On this planet.

Can you hear it?
The dogs screaming bark,
The crackling cackle
Of a fire ruthless?
Burning anything it touches
Including itself.
As it’s a destroyer,
It’s dug it’s own grave.
Just as any carnivore,
Or herbivore
Takes life just to die.
Just as plants
Take nutrients
From the dead,
So they die.
It’s all a cycle
Of death and decay,
The melting eyes
Bring sight
To the living.
We take knowledge
From the minds
Of the old,
They pass
For the sake
Of your mind.

We bleed on the inside,
Our heart gives us this,
A blood flow
That’s so beautiful from the outside,
But so necessary inside.
Our heart kills itself,
Bleeds out,
For us.
So one must question,
How much have I destroyed,
How much have I taken?
Do I deserve this,
When all I’ve done
Is taken form others lives?
The answer depends,
On how you’re spending
Your life,
Have you used it in honor
Of those you’ve taken
Life from?
Or have you slain
And brutalized.
Given pain
For your own dishonor?
Martyred yourself,
For the world
Is too much for you
To bear.
Remember those who care,
Remember the life you can give
If only you try to.

Be careful what you give
To the world,
For it will come back to you.

With a heart of vengeance,
Wrath

I really didn’t know my mother
I knew her moods
But, I didn’t know her
And I really don’t think she knew her children
She knew our names...mostly
But, she didn’t know us
I know my mother loved singing
I heard my mother sing
"How much is that doggie in the window”
And
One of my favorites
"Charming Billy"
I know she liked to cook
I know she read The Godfather and Valley Of The Dolls
I know she liked having a party
I know family holidays STRESSED her out
I know she had many friends
I know she drank a lot
I know she went out a lot
I know she drank and went out a lot with her many friends
I know she had many blackouts
I know she could go from very pleasant to wicked mean, instantly, especially when drinking
I know that she hated my father
I think she hated my father for not doing what needed to be done to make it all work out
I think maybe she resented her sons for being his sons
I know my mother was brutalized by her father
I know my mothers father followed my mother wherever she went as a teen because he didn’t trust her
I know my mothers father called her terrible names that a father should not call a daughter
I know that my mother married an alcoholic who gambled too much and beat her for his own sins
I wish I knew other things instead of these things about my mother
But...
I know my mother would have liked me to remember other things too...

I swear there is more to me than this.
A week ago I couldn't spell my name out in anything but numbers and  commas , no full stop

See someone once told me begging isn't the same as praying but in my 19years of life I've spent too many days silently whispering please don't switch of the outside light , mama I want to come , I want to come home .

See, I want to tell you something
About how I never thought I'd ever be the girl in an empty parking lot with a tremor making its way from my throat right past my knees to my ankles because right then and there , I am only a grain of sand inside a storm

And how I'm somehow standing there watching you teach me how traffic signs really mean nothing when noones watching . I'm thinking about Anine Booysens , her bruised and brutalized body and in the back of my head I'm scared no one will ever find me . I want to crawl into the damp cave of mouth and sleep between the cheek and teeth of you that speaks in vowels only and stretches your Xs and Qs.

But I'm not there , I'm here and this man is touching me ,
Oh God this man is touching me
Mama this man touched me ...

And we can't do anything about it

Mans this man touched me

you’ve been told that you love too much
as if the way they receive it is your fault and not theirs
you’ve been brutalized and burned
and they kept saying that maybe if you were a little less of this and a little more of that
you wouldn’t keep waiting for people to hurt you
like maybe you should work on giving in moderation
but believe me when I say
someday you’ll find someone who welcomes the depths of you
you felt like you had to hide from everyone else
he will never reduce the galaxies in your mind to mere constellations
he will love the way you give and the words you write
but he will love the way you love the most

A stacked life with the odds of the world against us
All the fuss over black lives matter is a matter of centuries of pent up frustration
Never mind the enslavement of our ancestors incarceration and prison yard gestations
I'm talking specifically about the manifestation of police brutality
A reality for black men and women who are seen as inhuman to certain police officers who have absorbed the institutionalized propaganda that says
black people
By virtue of being black are more dangerous and prone to attack, stealing, and committing violent offenses
This ignorant antiquated pervasive programming has convinced many police to see black people
and register in their senses a sense of threat and imminent danger
In a nation of immigrants, the only section of the population profiled and killed at this rate are the same people who have been brutalized for the better part of this nations history
And for what reason, what cause is there to be so afraid of the African American
A member of the human race who was kidnapped
beaten
*****
chained
enslaved
rip from their ancestry
hung
deprived
stripped of  humanity
brainwashed
so much so that our baby's are programmed to **** each other
So what cause is there to be so afraid of the African American
Perhaps the fear of retaliation
From a people wanting to aim
and inflict pain on those who took their very fiber
who's ire burns with a desire to see how it feels to be on the other side of power
But the truth is
no weapon can undo what's been done
The only thing that can belittle hatred is the unshackled
unbridled
emancipation
of love

I

THE REMARK

She scornfully remarked,
"Ha, Ha, men?.....
They are dogs,
all of them"
and then went on
and said,
"Most of my friends are men"

II

THE QUESTIONS

It was a casual conversation
but left behind nagging questions:

One:
Is woman really liberated?
For if that were so,
she would be free to sow
the seeds for a malice-free life:
A life that is
marked by sobriety
and unshakable fraternity –
A distinguished burden which principally she
can carry gracefully
till we all reach Goshen.

Two:
Has man been always liberated?
You may or may not agree,
I just say what I see.

III

THE VICTIM

Among the countless atrocities
on the vast womankind,
a hoarse, feeble voice thus pines:

Look at him;
He has been trained to ****
and be unflinchingly killed.....

He is:
an oblivious slave to his condition,
.....a victim of unmindful persuasions
by apathetic social conventions....
crippled....plagued...
by inherited apparitions
of our grand forefathers.

He has been brutalized too
on his way from a wobbly boyhood
to a hard-bitten manhood.

IV

SYSTEMIC SCARS

One could write a manuscript.
Instead I cite a sparse list
about how
he has been systematically marred
by the oppressive
socio-economic-political farce:

......of the defense ministry,
or salvation through insurgency...

......of the drug cartel,
or the liquor-tobacco lobby...

......of the boss's fancy,
......of female friendly courts,
...even sports!!!
......of the spousal gripe.....
and most of all...
....through the stereotype hype.

V

DIS-EMPOWERMENT OF MAN

Is man really enfranchised?
I am a man and I vouch otherwise.
........

Bully the other boy
else...
just play with a toy
solitary.....a *****.

You are born with a member,
Now, my goodness,
prove to be better
than your female opposite number;
An impossible task,
for no gender
is exclusively first-class.

Prove your chivalry;
find a nice young lady
or carry some forbidden
infamous label.

Hide your malaise,
pretend to be at ease,
do not brood,
or be doomed
as a sentimental fool.

Always be okay alone
wherever you are
whatever you are...
sickly or strong.

Feel guilty.
After all, all social malady
is solely your responsibility.

You are just the "unfair ***"
...an ugly accumulation
of grossly vile testosterone,
no match for the noble progesterone.

My unfortunate friend, do you see…
That radical crowd....so elite?
That is the "fair-***",
not ye.....not ye.

Apart from a backbreaking childbirth,
most other dangerous or physically stressful work
is a man's traditional berth.

Even the macrocosm
has been a scrooge,
depriving him
from the possibility of motherhood;
...the sensational miracle of natural creation.

Is man really free...?

VI

THE SLOG DOG

But yes,
as my good friend said,
there still remains
a thin little thread
of fragmentary credence,
hanging like a dire dog-collar.

It says:
Man is a two-timing slog-dog;
unfaithful to many
but loyal to love,
wagging the tail
for his lovely suffragette dove.

She can heap
his eating bowl
with puppy-love chow
and he will be forever hers.