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I like to dance in the light of all the fires I started
just so the flames can wince at the sound of my laughter
just so what once burned me can see me now
I worry I'm not as good at loving as I'd like to think
you can't put band aids on broken bones
all my doses of resentment seem to pour out onto you
and I whisper that I don't need you
with tears in my eyes and white knuckles around your fingers
I do not know how to love what's in front of me
only the ghost of the past and the fantasies of my mind
I want to be the hand that you hold in the morning hours and not just when the fear of the dark submerges you
what is love if it's only in the shadows
I want to be the lips you chase and not to replace those you once knew but because you can't imagine the feeling of yours against anothers
I want to be your resting place, the soul that you're homesick for
I want my chest to be the dwelling your tired mind finds, as if this body was made just for you
you kissed me until all of the pain evaporated
until the echoes of my past fell to a hush
quietly, suddenly the agony dissipated
like there was no room for it here
you repossessed the places my past called home
you called them yours and I called you mine
I want to be a greeter to the new seasons
to allow the new love, new sunrises and sunsets
the moon looks different from here
I gave away the old shirts and kissed the new lips and let the old worries stay awhile
change is the only thing we're promised
I made my old bed in a new room and danced in the kitchen in my same socks
I welcomed the softer skin and sugar-coated voice, the life that changed when I stopped looking back
everything shifts and I adjust
it's me, a new me, the same me
somehow different
somehow just as marvelous
yes, I believe that forgiveness should be given freely
the shedding of unnecessary hatred and the burdens that were never yours to carry
but don't allow the kindness within you to be exploited
you are gentle but you are not feeble
you have full permission to claim your boundaries
to take back your space as your own
disentangle your thinking that loving what hurts you is anything more than self-hatred
I am yours in the first month of fall when the trees begin to dance their autumn song.
I am yours when the sun smothers your cheeks and I envy the way it kisses you.
I am yours when December air pulls against your lips and sends shivers down your spine.
I am yours in the crowd of a million people and I am especially yours when the silence of your solace drives you mad.
I love you.
and I am yours.
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