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austin Oct 2019
I'm not sure if the sun came up
I haven't seen it shine
There's something wrong, I think I'm stuck
I'm running out of time

I'm not sure if I'm still awake
I think I might have drowned
There's nothing here, it feels so fake
I think I'm falling down
austin Sep 2019
Loneliness.
Just my shadow sits beside me.
Monotonous.
Not even the birds, nor the bees.

Uncertainty.
I don't think I'll ever change.
Insanity.
My God, I'm so deranged.

I need something to keep me sane
I don't know what it is
I just know I am not the same
Such a shame it is.

I think I dropped my feelings
in this well of murky black
I hope someone can help me find them
before I have a heart attack.
austin Aug 2019
Outside, it's cold as ice
But I can feel the blistering heat around my neck.
The burning grip, I can't escape
leaving me mutilated as I cease to breathe

These are the hands of a murderer
inhuman and inanimate
I thrash through the embers
in attempt to escape
the vicegrip that leaves me bleeding,
gasping,
burning amongst the flames

I am a brutalized, bleeding corpse.
Pain and indifference drips onto the floor
with every worthless step that I take
The demons have stabbed me repeatedly
I've lost every drop of humanity I had

Everything I've ever loved has been destroyed
This is not what was meant to be
It's me and my demons, and I've just lost it
Someone's going down, and it's not me

Today I will tear the hands of my demons from my brutalized, mutilated face
I will pull the devil's crushing deathgrip
from my lifeless corpse.

I shall watch the blood pour from his body,
Listen to his bones begin to shatter,
and the screeching sound of his
inhuman, brutal wretching
like the squeals of a pig.

I'll set him ablaze and watch him burn.

The devil's vice-grip hands couldn't hold me down.
I'm ready to start my mission.
I'll tie my demons to a tree
and do unto them what they've done to me

I'll tighten these chains around their neck,
Just like they tried to do to me.
I'll watch them suffer, struggle to breathe
Then I'll tighten these chains some more.

and when they think they've reached the end
I'll stab them with knives a hundred times.
Soak them in gasoline, light the match
I'll watch the flesh fall off their burning bodies.

And I'll do it with a smile on my face.

This job will not be done
until each and every one is wholly
unrecognizable,
Skulls shattered into a million pieces,
Bodies thrashed, cut up and burned

They thought they were certainly
stronger than me.
But they would soon meet their demise.
I put a bullet in all their heads
and they all hit the ground, dead.

They should have listened to what I said.
Should have ****** with someone else instead.
I put bullets in all their heads.
Now they're all ******* dead.
A brutal interpretation of claiming victory against depression.
austin Aug 2019
Do you lie awake at night
wondering
about when the pain will go away
and when you'll see a better day?

Have you ever thought
maybe you just aren't good enough
and you're bound to live the rest of your days
depressed and distraught?

Did you ever say
this is just too much
when you hit rock bottom
and didn't know how long you'd stay?

This is a message from me to you
Don't forget that you are you
and of all who roam this world
there are none the same as you

Don't ever think for a second
you don't matter, or you aren't good enough
Your mere existence is something special
There's more to this than you can see

If you've been hoping for someone to tell you
I hope I can make my message clear
Set the blade down, please don't disappear
The world wouldn't be the same
if you weren't here

It's not much, but
I hope this is what you needed to hear
I know you're stronger than what you fear
austin Aug 2019
Here I present to you
A single deck of cards.

I cannot tell you
which card is on top
nor the second, nor third.

But if we flip one over,
One by one,
And stack them into a new deck,
soon we will know the face
of every single card.

So let's take some time to wander
through these dark, dreary places
And we'll sift through these cards,
Jacks, Queens, Kings, Aces.
austin Dec 2018
I took a step inside your mind
and found a place I'd been before
It's nothing good, this deja vu
but I'm right here, and I'll help you

I see your thoughts inside your eyes
just like when I gazed through the mirror at mine
I know your smile hides what underlies
But you and I, we'll walk this mile

So allow me to shake the hands of your demons
These beasts are hardly strangers to me
I'll guide you through this maze of burning trees
just like the angel who was there for me

I need you to look into my eyes
as I tell you it's okay to cry
And I'll walk through hell with you
if it makes you feel alive
austin Nov 2018
These are not human beings
flourishing amidst their modern backdrop
of screens and social media
and likes and retweets and the like

These are not smiling faces
aboard the train on their daily commute
heading to the job they hate
so they can come home to the family
who doesn't love them

These are not happy marriages
packed with love and affection,
But more like a failure
just a worthless, shattered piece of glass
that we grind beneath our shoes on the floor

These are caffeine and adderall-driven bodies
holding guns to their heads
as they **** down a coffee
right after getting no sleep for the millionth night in a row
so they can go to work and contribute to society

Society that is cutting-edge
Society that is the greatest yet
Society like a train with broken brakes
Humans like robots

These are silhouettes
with their souls ripped out of them
These are dead bodies
murdered
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